November 28, 2025 • 34 mins
We stuff Thanksgiving with the latest technology — spotlighting humanoid helpers, robot-laced footwear, and the delightfully deranged inventions nobody ever asked to unwrap.
Get show notes for this episode and check out past episodes of the Speaking Human podcast by visiting speakinghuman.com.
#200 #Podcast #SpeakingHuman #VO #Branding #Marketing #Advertising #Business #SmallBiz #Brands #Ads #simplify #popculture #art #Brands #Thanksgiving #Tech #Products #Gifts #MindThundering #Brainstorming
Get show notes for this episode and check out past episodes of the Speaking Human podcast by visiting speakinghuman.com.
#200 #Podcast #SpeakingHuman #VO #Branding #Marketing #Advertising #Business #SmallBiz #Brands #Ads #simplify #popculture #art #Brands #Thanksgiving #Tech #Products #Gifts #MindThundering #Brainstorming
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaking Human.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today, on Speaking Human, we stuff Thanksgiving with the latest technology,
spotlighting humanoid helpers, robot laced footwear, and the delightfully deranged
inventions nobody ever asked to unwrap.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Speaking Human.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Welcome to Speaking Human, where we simplify the world of
marketing for humans. I'm Shad Calmly and with me is
my co host Patrick Jebber.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another fine installment of Speaking Human.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Not just any installment, special Thanksgiving episode. Every episode from
here on we passed two hundred and now every episode
is going to be a special episode of some sort.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It is because it's literally special that we're making it.
Every episode is now an accomplishment, a miracle, some would
say a terrifying miracle. And so to start us off,
you know, as we've been doing all year, trivia. You
love trivia, right.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I mean, who doesn't love trivia?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah? I know. The listeners have left numerous pieces of
feedback about the trivia. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes
we don't, meaning you know, guessing, we're definitely not getting
it right sometimes. But it's a lot of fun. It's
a lot of fun to put it together, and we're learning,
we're learning. Yeah, we're learning along with you, the listeners.
(01:46):
I talked about it in the last episode Our Relationship.
We were talking about two hundred episodes, but really we
have something more like three almost three point fifty were
going on three thirty three thirty five something like that.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
You mean if you count all the podcasts, all the
shows were involved in.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, which this might be the time to plug that,
but go on the website. There are a lot of
different podcasts that we've started and sometimes finished on Speaking
Human Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Sometimes it's a limited series that like this is the end.
We've come to the end here, not this one. This
one's going to go on forever.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, but that's okay. So we're talking about terrifying Turkey
Day tech gifts that you never asked for. So I
have a couple questions. I think you're gonna probably do
really well at these. The first question, Chad, is about
the history of the humanoid robots in the home. So
Neo might be one of the ones we're talking about today,
(02:45):
but that's not the first. Do you know what year
the first commercially available household robot hit the market? I
can give you multiple choice.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
If you like, I'll tell you the year that's coming
off the top of my head. I don't know why. Well,
maybe I know why, but the year is nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It is you know that? Is that right? Yeah? Nineteen
eighty four?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh my god. I think I was just thinking because
of the book or the association with the Apple ad. Yeah,
but I don't know. I don't know what the actual
robot is.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Well, yeah, I mean you get bonus points because you
knew it without multiple.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Choice, and I knew it without knowing it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah. It was the Omni Robot or Omnibot two thousand
is what it was called, which mostly played at the
time music and it delivered drinks like a clumsy rumba.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Maybe that's what I was picturing, like the eighties thing
that would like carry a tray. Didn't Rocky have it?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
He might have? Yeah, I think I do remember something
like that in the Rocky movies. So yeah, good job,
good job. We are also talking about something else that
sort of aligns with this next question, and not to
give any spoilers yet, but can you tell me which
shoe company released a self tying prototype back in twenty sixteen,
(04:09):
long before Nike went full robot shoe and can you
tell me how much did a pair resell for at
the time? So what company? And then how much did
the shoes resell for?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
My first instinct was thinking of Nike because I was
thinking of the Back to the Future shoe.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Hm, but it can't be.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Nike if it was before Nike, right, I don't know. Okay,
it can be. I thought before Nike would disqualify Nike.
But I'll say.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Nike, okay, And then you want to just take a
wild guess of how much the.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
How much it costs two hundred Now, that's too cheap,
three hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
All right? So it was Nike. It was the hyper
adapt one point zero. We talked about this in twenty sixteen.
We did, that's right, Yeah, resell value two thousand to
four thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Woah, are these guys still floating around?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't know if they are. Nobody's selling them.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So kind of did alright on that one. That's that's tough.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
With the right. No. I mean you did those without
any multiple choice, and I had multiple choice ready for you.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
That's true. I got the core. That's that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I mean the nineteen eighty four was a great guess.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I don't know how I pulled that one out.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
He pulled it out of somewhere somewhere dark.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well, what a great, great segue into you know what
we're talking about today, which I think the title of
this episode, more so than other episodes, really says it all.
Terrifying Turkey Day tech gifts you never asked for? So
what what's going on here? Exactly? Well, here's the idea.
(05:52):
Black Friday, pretty celebrated retail holiday. We've discussed it before,
but Thanksgiving, the holiday itself not usually associated with gift giving.
We're thinking it's time to change that. And since Turkey
and technology start with the same letters, makes perfect sense
(06:14):
that Thanksgiving gift giving, you know, as a gift giving holiday,
should be devoted exclusively to tech products. Not only that,
we even have a couple new products to help get
this tradition started. These tech products just so happen to
be terrifying. But that aside, you know, we're going to
talk through each of these and not only we're going
(06:36):
to talk about these products, we're going to talk about
how they would make a good Turkey Day gift. You
know who you would give it to? Why it would
be a good gift, and why it makes sense on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I
think this this episode because you know, we like to
change things up a little bit and give you some
food for thought, if you will.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah, a new thing for Thanksgiving that you can introduce
to your family. Why don't we start with the first product,
which is a real humdinger, Patrick, Why don't you tell
us about what that product is?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Love when you say old man where it's like humdinger.
So the first product, which I alluded to in the
trivia is Robot Technology NEO. If you haven't heard about this,
This was marketed as a home robot designed to take
on the mundane household tasks, if you will, that people
(07:31):
have in their daily lives and allow them to focus
on what matters. It combines a trio of promises okay, utility,
so doing chores and things like that. Design, it's safe,
it's a human friendly. It's soft, believe it or not.
It's got like a fabric that covers up all the
(07:53):
it looks like a big knitted sweater. And it also
has intelligence so AI built in and it adapts and
learns based on the things that you teach it. Over time,
it grows with you. They say, when they're asking for
your two hundred dollars deposit, trust me, it's more than
two hundred dollars. It also features this soft body design,
(08:16):
like I was saying, with these like tendon driven actuators
for safe movement. They talk about how it's lightweight and
it's built for use around people in a home environment.
So it's about five to six heighth and only weighs
sixty six pounds. It's lift capacity one hundred and fifty
four pounds. Carry capacity is fifty five pounds, the arm
(08:38):
payload eighteen pounds. I'm giving you some of these numbers
because there have been questions, you know, like what if
it wanted to pick up a giant rock and drop
it on me while I'm sleeping. It could, in theory
do that. It could. The company that created this or
who's releasing it is called one X. It's like Twitter
became X and then X is the big thing today.
(09:01):
X hot so one X. But it learns and performs
tasks through this AI. So yeah, it's a robot and
it's got these beaty little eyes, and it talks to you,
and it learns.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's quite a spectacle, a.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Spectacle to behold.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
And inspired a lot of internet's comedy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, and the website, they have a keynote, they have
a video on YouTube even and you know the comments
on YouTube are hilarious. There's the classic ones like Terminator,
They're gonna come and kill us. Then then they're the
funnier ones, which are actually probably more in line with
real life, which is this thing is just weird and
(09:42):
creepy and strange, especially the way they promote it with
video and some of the scenes that they show.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, it's just got that kind of like cheesy almost
like infomercial vibe. If you didn't know any better, you'd
be like, this is gorilla marketing for some kind of
Megan like horror movie. Yeah, and this thing's also kind
of slow. That's what makes it pretty funny. So it
wants to help you, but you don't know how much
help it's going to be. There is the chance, though,
(10:10):
twenty years we look back and we're like, oh, that's
what broke the seal, you know, that's what started at all,
And now we have these humanoid household robots everywhere.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And maybe the beginning of something really amazing. You know,
we could have these robots, you know that help us
with things. They follow us around, drive us places, do things.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
For us, annoys.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You might name it like hey, Steve, stop bothering me.
And he's like, but you asked me to come with you,
And you're like, but I don't want you to come here,
and he's like, make up your mind, Patrick, And you're
having an argument with your humanoid robot companion.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
So let's talk about the you know, Turkey Day tech
gift aspect of this. Who are you going to give
it to? Why would it be a good gift for them?
And why does it make sense for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Uh? Okay, who would I give that to? I'd probably
give it to my dad because he he has a
love for technology, and I think he would really like
this robot for about ten seconds and then he would
treat it like his phone when he gets frustrated with
his phone. It's not doing what it's supposed to be doing, Like, well,
(11:24):
what is it supposed to be doing? Well? It lost
all my music? How did the robot lose your music?
You know, stuff like that. But I think it's a
good gift because you're outsourcing eye contact. Yeah, and it
makes sense for Thanksgiving because again, maybe this thing could
carve the turkey for you. It's got the washable fabric,
so if it gets like the turkey juice on it,
(11:46):
you could just throw it in the washing machine. That's true,
crumple it up and throw it in the whole robot
into the washing machine, like I forgot to take I
thought it was washaball. I didn't forgot to take the
sweater off of my robot.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
So I you know, I had some similar ideas, probably
a little I skewed a little farther. I was like,
who would you give it to? I was thinking somebody older,
like a grandma, a great grandma, somebody who's older and
lives alone. You know, these are kind of my two criteria,
the older the better.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
The older the better. Someone who relies solely on this robot,
and then when it doesn't take care of them, it's.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Well, I don't know if you want to completely put
your life in its hands, but I'm thinking this thing
is creepy as it looks like something that would kill you.
I know they tried to design it not to be creepy,
but most people are going to think it's pretty creepy, right, yeah,
but not necessarily. You know, someone's older, maybe the vision problems,
(12:53):
or they're just happy to have someone around the lonely,
the disabled.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
They're like, Shad, thanks for coming to visit me in
the nursing home exactly. And it's and it's basically answering,
like I'm glad to come see you, grandma.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
It's my pleasure. And the other thing is, you know,
it's it's supposedly pretty slow and limited, and so most
people would probably get frustrated. It's not like I can
do that much faster than you can.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Forget it.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I'll do it myself. But you know, not an old
persons having trouble getting up or getting around. You know,
they'll be happy, like, oh you got me that glass
of water I asked for a half hour ago. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Maybe they forgot about it.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Just give them enough sustenance that they don't just pass away,
you know. So the robot gets them water, but it
just might be way late, yeah, you know, but it
still gets it there. It fed them and like you.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
You know, I was I had some similar ideas for Thanksgiving.
I was thinking, though, you know, you have everybody at
the Thanksgiving table, you do like an introduction and be
like everybody me, it's Grandma's new gift Neo, you know,
and have it walk in, take a seat at the table,
and like you, I was thinking, it's gonna car our
turkey today, even though it might take a while, one
(14:09):
slice every fifteen minutes, but it's like, you know, it's
like you're adding a new member to the family. So
what better time to do it than Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Especially because everyone's gathered around. They can make fun of it,
they can ask questions about it, they can get frustrated
with it, they can wonder why you even introduced it
to the family.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
They could ask that question directly to Neo.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Right, yeah, so I mean again terrifying tech products. Nobody
asks for Neo, the new robot humanoid robot Neo.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Now we come to our next terrifying tech product for
Turkey Day, of course, and that one is Nike's new
robot assisted shoe. So let me tell you a little
bit about this. Nike has introduced Project Amplify, what a
cool name, a futuristic line of robot assisted shoes designed
(15:05):
to help everyday walkers and runners go farther with less effort.
The system combines a lightweight motor drive belt and rechargeable
cuff battery with a carbon fiber running shoe to act
like quote unquote a second set of calf bustles.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
So, which is weird. It's weird to think about.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
You know a lot of people are like, oh, man,
I could really use a second centecaf muscles. Nike says
the tech can help regular users hit a comfortable ten
to twelve minute mile pace, similar to how e bikes
give riders an extra boost. Still in development, project Amplify
has been tested by over four hundred athletes and was
(15:51):
built in partnership with robotics firm Defie de Phy and
the Nike Sports Research Lab have so this one in
the testing phase, but coming soon. We have it, of
course early to introduce a Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
The one thing I'm always thinking about on Thanksgiving is
I wish gravity fought me less on the way to
the fridge. The visualization of having extra calf muscles is
it's actually pretty grotesque. So I don't know why they
say that. Yeah, it's a terrible idea to put in
your mind.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, acts like it. It's not like you're really doubling up.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
No, No, but you know immediately your brain like, that's
the visualization you get. It's funny because both of these
they have robot esque qualities to them. I mean one
is a robot, but the other one has robot s
qualities because they say it's like robot boost while you walk.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah, one's giving you a robot. One's kind of making
you a little robotic.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
How do you feel about that? That's my question? I guess,
how do you feel about this this problem? In general?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
It doesn't seem like it's for me.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Who is as far? I feel like ten to twelve
minute miles?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I don't know, ten to twelve minute that's like a
running pace.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Maybe not the target demographic, but a running pace for
what Because that's a really slow run.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, that's not that slow of a run, like I
run it like a ten minute mile. So I don't
totally understand that.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
That's what I don't. I'm like trying to picture someone
walking that fact, you'd be like, yeah, like power walking.
So anyway, who'd you give it to? Who would you
give this to?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well, to that end, I would give it to that
family member who has let themselves go a little bit,
you know, maybe an uncle or a sibling who has
not made exercise a priority in recent years or decades.
Because if you're a person who moves or exercises fairly regularly,
I don't know that this is for you. So this
to me seems like it's for like, you know, I'm
(18:01):
a little out of shape. I don't really move or
exercise or anything like that. So that's who I'm giving
it to. Okay, why would it be a good gift?
Not only is it a futuristic piece of tech, I
think it can, you know, compel this person to get
in shape. It's making something that's hard for them a
little easier, at least physically in some way. I think,
(18:24):
you know, it's like, hey, go walk around the block.
It won't be as hard, right, Yeah, so that's kind
of my idea. You could also frame it a little
bit as this could be taken offensively, right as a gift.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, so you could.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Kind of do it, you know. I think the E
byte comparison is good. This is just make it make
you go a little quicker, or it could be like
it's like a superpower for you go walk or run
without barely even moving your lece. You can also lie
and be like, I work for a company, need someone
to test this out for thirty days. And I thought
(19:02):
of you.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I thought only of you. That's how you get them.
I thought only of you.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
You were the one person who came to my mind.
Why does it make sense for Thanksgiving? You're eating lots
of food, you feel like a sloth. Why not burn
some of that off by slapping these puppies on either
before or after the meal, you know, so right away
you can start using this.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
That's a healthy dose of technology to be giving on
Turkey Day. I do have a hard time, though, who
you'd give it to? That person I feel like is
the worst person to give it to. I mean, I
know that's the I mean, that's my natural inclination is
to give it to that person who needs it, who
is like, you know, kind of struggled with it, or
(19:51):
you know, that person who insists that's you know, the
smart watch steps count double after pie on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
You know, I think this is going to injure them.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah, how do they? You know, because your body's not
even prepared for that, because you know, they're hitting all
their steps without even trying, you know, And that does
to me, It doesn't seem like it. You know, the
physics of it doesn't seem like it makes sense. But
I'm with you. I'd want to give it to that,
you know, that person who definitely needs it. I just
don't know who that is other than an athlete who
(20:23):
wants to go faster. I mean, it's a good gift
for anybody. It kind of turns your legs into Tesla's,
you know, like ludicrous mode. You're kind of going super fast,
except hopefully less likely to burst into flames, which is possible.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Or what if you you know, wear them for a
while and it's just like Forrest Gump's leg braces. They
just pop off and then you just take off.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, that could be cool. Yeah, robot assisted shoes another thing.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Maybe, I mean, maybe we got it wrong. Maybe you
need like a person who's like totally in the middle,
Like I do some stuff sometimes, but maybe that's your
Maybe that's your target, like I should walk a little more.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So you're just an average person who just does average things,
and man, this just made you above average.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Yeah, there you go, making the average above average. Maybe
that's what this is all about, not making the below
average average.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, it's nice to feel above average, you know
what I mean, and the average person just wants that.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, yeah, they just need to cross that line.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Mind thundering. One oh one. Speaking of mind thundering.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Those are products that are that actually exists. They're out
there in the world. Now it's time for us to
bring something new into fruition from our own brains.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, so we're each going to share one original terrifying
Turkey Day tech gift that you didn't ask for, and
the same rules really apply. We're gonna, you know, talk
about who we'd give it to, why it would be
a good gift, you know, why it makes sense for Thanksgiving,
and maybe you have some thoughts on this too, like
what would be a great terrifying Turkey Day tech gift
(22:08):
that no one asked for? That second half of that
statement is always really critically important.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, people can't have if they have asked for it,
we don't want.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, if it was something that was like, oh yeah,
that makes a lot of sense, I'll tell you right now.
I think mine makes a lot of sense even though
no one asked for it.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I think mine does too. Mine might be asked for
after people hear it, But why don't you go. You
go first. Let's see see what you got.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
All right. Mine is called the seven second Stuffing Suit.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Okay, I love the name.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Totally original name, all from the heart here. It's a
full body exo suit that detects when you're approaching Thanksgiving
like a Thanksgiving Day table, and automatically compresses your torso
I up to thirty percent okay, and it gives you
(23:04):
extra stomach capacity for a maximum holiday intake. Wait a second,
all right.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
How does it give you more capacity by compressing?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I'm getting to that, I'm getting okay, sorry, So think
of as spanks meets iron Man. It's designed by me,
who you know, misunderstood the meaning of portion control. I
don't really know how to explain the tech. But expands
your stomach essentially even though it's compressing. It's expanding the
(23:37):
inside but compressing the outside. So your pants don't actually,
you know, like how people say I gotta unbutton my pants,
You don't have to unbutton them. It's only happening on
the inside of your stomach. Almost like you're compressing the
space between your stomach wall and your skin and you
have the outside of your body.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Science sounds pretty good there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It's physically possible. I've I've checked the math. Ah, I've
tripled checked the math. So who'd I give this to?
I'd give this to myself. Self gifting might be a sin,
but saving room for dessert is one more of the
difficult things. I think at Thanksgiving when you're like me
and you're like, oh, but I just want a little
bit more of that before I get to the dessert,
(24:21):
and then you're like bummed because you couldn't get enough dessert.
So this will allowed me to achieve my true potential,
you know, as a human trash compactor. Why it's a
good gift. You know, nobody wants to choose between mashed
potatoes and stuffing. It's a good gift. With the seven
second stuffing suit, you don't have to do that. It
optimizes your internal storage volume. It's tupperware but for your organs.
(24:45):
And everybody loves tupperware at Thanksgiving because that's where you
take the leftovers home in. So why it makes sense
for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year
where eating until you question your life decisions is not
only accepted, it's expected. So and second stuffing suit combines
tradition with technology, even if it's terrifying technology that nobody
(25:06):
asked for in the worst and best possible way.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Tupperware for your organ.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I you know, I love it. Tupperware for your organs
is like a great slogan too, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't go for that. It's got
a great name. The name sells itself. I don't care
what it is, I'm buying it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I literally came up with that name during a power nap.
I was power napping and I was like, what do
I call this thing that I have the idea for him? Like,
it's the seven second stuffing suit. I mean, it's perfect alliteration. Yeah,
all the way across.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Did you like shoot up? Do you like your eyes
opened and you just shot up and you said the words.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yes. I felt like Einstein, you know, when he would
like what he used to put his head on the
pencil or whatever and we'd fall and it was like
this brilliant light. That's how that's how it happened.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I mean, that's a good one. And you know solving.
You're right, people might need that. People want that. How
can I eat more?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I mean nobody asked for it, but people would
definitely want it. I mean, look at we had the
stovetop stuffing pants at one point. I mean, that's silly.
This is actually science. It's scientifically possible.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
So yeah, that's a good one. I mean, might be
better than you know, Neo.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
It's definitely better than NEO for sure. Might be a
little scary having tougherware for your organs, but you know, well.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's supposed to be terrifying in some way. Well let
me let me see what you think of this one,
this one being the Family Exit time Optimizer. The what
the family exit time optimizer? Okay, for helping family members
leave before overstaying their welcome. So how this technology works
(27:00):
as it uses thermal cameras, eye movement tracking, in small
talk fatigue analysis to calculate when each guest is psychologically
primed to head home. When the perfect departure window opens,
the smart home sends a gentle, totally coincidental text from
an unknown number such as, hey, did you mean to
(27:24):
leave your garage door open? Or your pet just made
a noise that sounded significant, or you might want to
check on your house. If there's no response to these texts,
you know, if that doesn't kind of get the person moving.
Then we move into slightly creepy mode where their car
alarm goes off and their car starts remotely. Because nothing
(27:49):
wraps up family time like a vehicle that's more eager
to go home than its owner.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's true, Like, Uh, my car is ready to go.
I gotta go.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I mean, what am I gonna My car is on.
I keep trying to turn it off. It just keeps
turning on. I'm just leaving.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I think it's a sign. Guys. I think it's a sign.
I think it's time for me to go.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I don't know what else to do here. So, you know,
who do you give this to? Like you, my first
thought was yourself, this might be a gift you give
to you just kind of keep things on the down low.
You know, you're hosting the event. You put this in there,
and then you can kind of, you know, control everybody
when it's time to leave. But my second thought was,
(28:30):
you know, maybe if you're a little more open about it,
it could be a gift kind of for everybody. At Thanksgiving,
You're like, listen, we all know it's weird. At the end,
somebody's like you want somebody to leave or people are
staying too long. You know it's time to go, and
you're like, can't get out of here. You know, maybe
you could just be upfront about it and like, listen,
we're going to use this technology and it's going to
(28:52):
tell us when it's time for each of us to go. Yeah,
you could take the covert approach or the upfront approach.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I like both.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Honestly depends on your the family or the scenario, what
kind of people you're working with.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, I guess that's a choice you have to make,
and you could probably make it based on you as theah.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
You'll know why this would be a good gift. Obviously
prevents the dreaded Thanksgiving evening drift into hour four of
so How's work automates the process of determining what we're
all too polite to say out loud. It's time for
someone to go, maybe time for everyone to go? Why
does it make sense for Thanksgiving? Post meal? Social stamina
(29:37):
collapses rapidly? Science supports this, and you know, coordinating departures
kind of an unspoken group project. Every year, the optimizer
just takes the wheel for you. Thanksgiving gatherings are all
about gratitude. And nothing says thanks, like knowing exactly when
to go home.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Oh, I like that. Remind me the name again.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
The name it is the Family Exit Time Optimizer Exit
Time Demiser Optimizer.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It's a mouthful.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, it probably needs like a you know, stupid shortened
name like Jerby or something, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Jerby Srby. This is a good I mean, it's a
good tech product actually that nobody really asked for. But
it's a good tech product. I actually think people have
asked for this, they just don't know it.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah, mentally, they're asking for it all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
The very first thing that came to mind when you
were telling me this was it created a mind thundering
storm in me and I immediately went to the family
friendly freeze ray. That's what I would call this tech
product that you inspired, and that was it's a product
that worked similarly in yours. But you know, it's like
you know, when you bring like a candle or something
(30:57):
and you put it on the you know, the dinner table,
and that candle then would be like become a freeze ray,
and it essentially when it was time for you to
go like your tech it would just almost like freeze
everyone at the table and in the vicinity and then
you just leave. And then when you're gone, everybody goes
(31:18):
back to normal and they're like, oh, yeah, you know,
and they're like where did where did Shad go? They're like, oh,
I don't I don't know. He was here second ago,
wasn't he? And then you know, but you're gone, you left.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Yeah. That, I mean, that's like a really simple You
set that up somewhere and when you're ready to go,
you just hit a button and you're you're out of there.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah. Maybe it's like a little wristband that you wear
and it detects your pulse and it's like, yeah, it's ready.
He's ready. He's ready to go. Even if you don't
know you're ready, it knows.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
You're ready or you're not admitting you're ready.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I like this idea though, because I think it's perfect
for Thanksgiving, especially families where you just you're not exactly
sure when you should leave.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Yeah it's going on too long, or you know, someone's
getting out of control with their ranting and raving.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And it happens at every Thanksgiving. I feel like for
every family.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah, well, here you have an automated thing that's.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Like Okay, the prompts are great, like you should check
on your house. It's very uh cryptic, and yeah, you
know I like that. I like that. Again, another terrible
tech product.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
I mean, we got a lot of them. Might have
to wait another year till they're actually on the market.
But a few things to choose from. Two things to
chew on this Thanksgiving when you're sitting around with your family,
talk about these things. Who would want them? Who they'd
be good for?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah, so you know, a little takeaway for today. If
today proved anything, it's the technology will keep marching forward,
whether we ask for it or not. The best we
can do is embrace the weird, you know, like Neo,
or enjoy the convenience of Nike's robot shoes that double
up on your calve muscle, and basically make sure that
(33:03):
robots don't unionize before dessert on Thanksgiving. If that's not
the spirit of Thanksgiving, I don't know what is.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, I agree, invite invite Neo to your Thanksgiving, you know,
and bring the technology. And I actually just had this idea.
What if we slap the you know, robot calves onto Neo?
Who goes? It's problematic for going a little slow. Maybe
we can speed this guy up a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, a little too much. Then he like gets a
taste of what it's like to be fast.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Yeah, let's hope he just enjoys Thanksgiving with his new family.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
All right, Well, remember, you can give thanks or you
can give tech. But if you give both, you can't
be surprised when the tech demands thanks on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
That should been your takeaway right there.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, that's it for today's episode. You can find current
and past episodes of the Post podcast, including all the
ones that we've done around the Thanksgiving holiday thirteen years
in counting, on Speaking human dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
We'll be back in two weeks with another special episode
of Speaking Human. Catch it in Humans
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Speakcking Human.
Speaking Human.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today, on Speaking Human, we stuff Thanksgiving with the latest technology,
spotlighting humanoid helpers, robot laced footwear, and the delightfully deranged
inventions nobody ever asked to unwrap.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Speaking Human.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Welcome to Speaking Human, where we simplify the world of
marketing for humans. I'm Shad Calmly and with me is
my co host Patrick Jebber.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another fine installment of Speaking Human.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Not just any installment, special Thanksgiving episode. Every episode from
here on we passed two hundred and now every episode
is going to be a special episode of some sort.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It is because it's literally special that we're making it.
Every episode is now an accomplishment, a miracle, some would
say a terrifying miracle. And so to start us off,
you know, as we've been doing all year, trivia. You
love trivia, right.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I mean, who doesn't love trivia?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah? I know. The listeners have left numerous pieces of
feedback about the trivia. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes
we don't, meaning you know, guessing, we're definitely not getting
it right sometimes. But it's a lot of fun. It's
a lot of fun to put it together, and we're learning,
we're learning. Yeah, we're learning along with you, the listeners.
(01:46):
I talked about it in the last episode Our Relationship.
We were talking about two hundred episodes, but really we
have something more like three almost three point fifty were
going on three thirty three thirty five something like that.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
You mean if you count all the podcasts, all the
shows were involved in.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, which this might be the time to plug that,
but go on the website. There are a lot of
different podcasts that we've started and sometimes finished on Speaking
Human Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Sometimes it's a limited series that like this is the end.
We've come to the end here, not this one. This
one's going to go on forever.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, but that's okay. So we're talking about terrifying Turkey
Day tech gifts that you never asked for. So I
have a couple questions. I think you're gonna probably do
really well at these. The first question, Chad, is about
the history of the humanoid robots in the home. So
Neo might be one of the ones we're talking about today,
(02:45):
but that's not the first. Do you know what year
the first commercially available household robot hit the market? I
can give you multiple choice.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
If you like, I'll tell you the year that's coming
off the top of my head. I don't know why. Well,
maybe I know why, but the year is nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It is you know that? Is that right? Yeah? Nineteen
eighty four?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh my god. I think I was just thinking because
of the book or the association with the Apple ad. Yeah,
but I don't know. I don't know what the actual
robot is.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Well, yeah, I mean you get bonus points because you
knew it without multiple.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Choice, and I knew it without knowing it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah. It was the Omni Robot or Omnibot two thousand
is what it was called, which mostly played at the
time music and it delivered drinks like a clumsy rumba.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Maybe that's what I was picturing, like the eighties thing
that would like carry a tray. Didn't Rocky have it?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
He might have? Yeah, I think I do remember something
like that in the Rocky movies. So yeah, good job,
good job. We are also talking about something else that
sort of aligns with this next question, and not to
give any spoilers yet, but can you tell me which
shoe company released a self tying prototype back in twenty sixteen,
(04:09):
long before Nike went full robot shoe and can you
tell me how much did a pair resell for at
the time? So what company? And then how much did
the shoes resell for?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
My first instinct was thinking of Nike because I was
thinking of the Back to the Future shoe.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Hm, but it can't be.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Nike if it was before Nike, right, I don't know. Okay,
it can be. I thought before Nike would disqualify Nike.
But I'll say.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Nike, okay, And then you want to just take a
wild guess of how much the.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
How much it costs two hundred Now, that's too cheap,
three hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
All right? So it was Nike. It was the hyper
adapt one point zero. We talked about this in twenty sixteen.
We did, that's right, Yeah, resell value two thousand to
four thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Woah, are these guys still floating around?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't know if they are. Nobody's selling them.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So kind of did alright on that one. That's that's tough.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
With the right. No. I mean you did those without
any multiple choice, and I had multiple choice ready for you.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
That's true. I got the core. That's that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I mean the nineteen eighty four was a great guess.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I don't know how I pulled that one out.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
He pulled it out of somewhere somewhere dark.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well, what a great, great segue into you know what
we're talking about today, which I think the title of
this episode, more so than other episodes, really says it all.
Terrifying Turkey Day tech gifts you never asked for? So
what what's going on here? Exactly? Well, here's the idea.
(05:52):
Black Friday, pretty celebrated retail holiday. We've discussed it before,
but Thanksgiving, the holiday itself not usually associated with gift giving.
We're thinking it's time to change that. And since Turkey
and technology start with the same letters, makes perfect sense
(06:14):
that Thanksgiving gift giving, you know, as a gift giving holiday,
should be devoted exclusively to tech products. Not only that,
we even have a couple new products to help get
this tradition started. These tech products just so happen to
be terrifying. But that aside, you know, we're going to
talk through each of these and not only we're going
(06:36):
to talk about these products, we're going to talk about
how they would make a good Turkey Day gift. You
know who you would give it to? Why it would
be a good gift, and why it makes sense on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I
think this this episode because you know, we like to
change things up a little bit and give you some
food for thought, if you will.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah, a new thing for Thanksgiving that you can introduce
to your family. Why don't we start with the first product,
which is a real humdinger, Patrick, Why don't you tell
us about what that product is?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Love when you say old man where it's like humdinger.
So the first product, which I alluded to in the
trivia is Robot Technology NEO. If you haven't heard about this,
This was marketed as a home robot designed to take
on the mundane household tasks, if you will, that people
(07:31):
have in their daily lives and allow them to focus
on what matters. It combines a trio of promises okay, utility,
so doing chores and things like that. Design, it's safe,
it's a human friendly. It's soft, believe it or not.
It's got like a fabric that covers up all the
(07:53):
it looks like a big knitted sweater. And it also
has intelligence so AI built in and it adapts and
learns based on the things that you teach it. Over time,
it grows with you. They say, when they're asking for
your two hundred dollars deposit, trust me, it's more than
two hundred dollars. It also features this soft body design,
(08:16):
like I was saying, with these like tendon driven actuators
for safe movement. They talk about how it's lightweight and
it's built for use around people in a home environment.
So it's about five to six heighth and only weighs
sixty six pounds. It's lift capacity one hundred and fifty
four pounds. Carry capacity is fifty five pounds, the arm
(08:38):
payload eighteen pounds. I'm giving you some of these numbers
because there have been questions, you know, like what if
it wanted to pick up a giant rock and drop
it on me while I'm sleeping. It could, in theory
do that. It could. The company that created this or
who's releasing it is called one X. It's like Twitter
became X and then X is the big thing today.
(09:01):
X hot so one X. But it learns and performs
tasks through this AI. So yeah, it's a robot and
it's got these beaty little eyes, and it talks to you,
and it learns.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's quite a spectacle, a.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Spectacle to behold.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
And inspired a lot of internet's comedy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, and the website, they have a keynote, they have
a video on YouTube even and you know the comments
on YouTube are hilarious. There's the classic ones like Terminator,
They're gonna come and kill us. Then then they're the
funnier ones, which are actually probably more in line with
real life, which is this thing is just weird and
(09:42):
creepy and strange, especially the way they promote it with
video and some of the scenes that they show.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, it's just got that kind of like cheesy almost
like infomercial vibe. If you didn't know any better, you'd
be like, this is gorilla marketing for some kind of
Megan like horror movie. Yeah, and this thing's also kind
of slow. That's what makes it pretty funny. So it
wants to help you, but you don't know how much
help it's going to be. There is the chance, though,
(10:10):
twenty years we look back and we're like, oh, that's
what broke the seal, you know, that's what started at all,
And now we have these humanoid household robots everywhere.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And maybe the beginning of something really amazing. You know,
we could have these robots, you know that help us
with things. They follow us around, drive us places, do things.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
For us, annoys.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You might name it like hey, Steve, stop bothering me.
And he's like, but you asked me to come with you,
And you're like, but I don't want you to come here,
and he's like, make up your mind, Patrick, And you're
having an argument with your humanoid robot companion.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
So let's talk about the you know, Turkey Day tech
gift aspect of this. Who are you going to give
it to? Why would it be a good gift for them?
And why does it make sense for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Uh? Okay, who would I give that to? I'd probably
give it to my dad because he he has a
love for technology, and I think he would really like
this robot for about ten seconds and then he would
treat it like his phone when he gets frustrated with
his phone. It's not doing what it's supposed to be doing, Like, well,
(11:24):
what is it supposed to be doing? Well? It lost
all my music? How did the robot lose your music?
You know, stuff like that. But I think it's a
good gift because you're outsourcing eye contact. Yeah, and it
makes sense for Thanksgiving because again, maybe this thing could
carve the turkey for you. It's got the washable fabric,
so if it gets like the turkey juice on it,
(11:46):
you could just throw it in the washing machine. That's true,
crumple it up and throw it in the whole robot
into the washing machine, like I forgot to take I
thought it was washaball. I didn't forgot to take the
sweater off of my robot.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
So I you know, I had some similar ideas, probably
a little I skewed a little farther. I was like,
who would you give it to? I was thinking somebody older,
like a grandma, a great grandma, somebody who's older and
lives alone. You know, these are kind of my two criteria,
the older the better.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
The older the better. Someone who relies solely on this robot,
and then when it doesn't take care of them, it's.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Well, I don't know if you want to completely put
your life in its hands, but I'm thinking this thing
is creepy as it looks like something that would kill you.
I know they tried to design it not to be creepy,
but most people are going to think it's pretty creepy, right, yeah,
but not necessarily. You know, someone's older, maybe the vision problems,
(12:53):
or they're just happy to have someone around the lonely,
the disabled.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
They're like, Shad, thanks for coming to visit me in
the nursing home exactly. And it's and it's basically answering,
like I'm glad to come see you, grandma.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
It's my pleasure. And the other thing is, you know,
it's it's supposedly pretty slow and limited, and so most
people would probably get frustrated. It's not like I can
do that much faster than you can.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Forget it.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I'll do it myself. But you know, not an old
persons having trouble getting up or getting around. You know,
they'll be happy, like, oh you got me that glass
of water I asked for a half hour ago. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Maybe they forgot about it.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Just give them enough sustenance that they don't just pass away,
you know. So the robot gets them water, but it
just might be way late, yeah, you know, but it
still gets it there. It fed them and like you.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
You know, I was I had some similar ideas for Thanksgiving.
I was thinking, though, you know, you have everybody at
the Thanksgiving table, you do like an introduction and be
like everybody me, it's Grandma's new gift Neo, you know,
and have it walk in, take a seat at the table,
and like you, I was thinking, it's gonna car our
turkey today, even though it might take a while, one
(14:09):
slice every fifteen minutes, but it's like, you know, it's
like you're adding a new member to the family. So
what better time to do it than Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Especially because everyone's gathered around. They can make fun of it,
they can ask questions about it, they can get frustrated
with it, they can wonder why you even introduced it
to the family.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
They could ask that question directly to Neo.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Right, yeah, so I mean again terrifying tech products. Nobody
asks for Neo, the new robot humanoid robot Neo.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Now we come to our next terrifying tech product for
Turkey Day, of course, and that one is Nike's new
robot assisted shoe. So let me tell you a little
bit about this. Nike has introduced Project Amplify, what a
cool name, a futuristic line of robot assisted shoes designed
(15:05):
to help everyday walkers and runners go farther with less effort.
The system combines a lightweight motor drive belt and rechargeable
cuff battery with a carbon fiber running shoe to act
like quote unquote a second set of calf bustles.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
So, which is weird. It's weird to think about.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
You know a lot of people are like, oh, man,
I could really use a second centecaf muscles. Nike says
the tech can help regular users hit a comfortable ten
to twelve minute mile pace, similar to how e bikes
give riders an extra boost. Still in development, project Amplify
has been tested by over four hundred athletes and was
(15:51):
built in partnership with robotics firm Defie de Phy and
the Nike Sports Research Lab have so this one in
the testing phase, but coming soon. We have it, of
course early to introduce a Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
The one thing I'm always thinking about on Thanksgiving is
I wish gravity fought me less on the way to
the fridge. The visualization of having extra calf muscles is
it's actually pretty grotesque. So I don't know why they
say that. Yeah, it's a terrible idea to put in
your mind.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, acts like it. It's not like you're really doubling up.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
No, No, but you know immediately your brain like, that's
the visualization you get. It's funny because both of these
they have robot esque qualities to them. I mean one
is a robot, but the other one has robot s
qualities because they say it's like robot boost while you walk.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah, one's giving you a robot. One's kind of making
you a little robotic.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
How do you feel about that? That's my question? I guess,
how do you feel about this this problem? In general?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
It doesn't seem like it's for me.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Who is as far? I feel like ten to twelve
minute miles?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I don't know, ten to twelve minute that's like a
running pace.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Maybe not the target demographic, but a running pace for
what Because that's a really slow run.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, that's not that slow of a run, like I
run it like a ten minute mile. So I don't
totally understand that.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
That's what I don't. I'm like trying to picture someone
walking that fact, you'd be like, yeah, like power walking.
So anyway, who'd you give it to? Who would you
give this to?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well, to that end, I would give it to that
family member who has let themselves go a little bit,
you know, maybe an uncle or a sibling who has
not made exercise a priority in recent years or decades.
Because if you're a person who moves or exercises fairly regularly,
I don't know that this is for you. So this
to me seems like it's for like, you know, I'm
(18:01):
a little out of shape. I don't really move or
exercise or anything like that. So that's who I'm giving
it to. Okay, why would it be a good gift?
Not only is it a futuristic piece of tech, I
think it can, you know, compel this person to get
in shape. It's making something that's hard for them a
little easier, at least physically in some way. I think,
(18:24):
you know, it's like, hey, go walk around the block.
It won't be as hard, right, Yeah, so that's kind
of my idea. You could also frame it a little
bit as this could be taken offensively, right as a gift.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, so you could.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Kind of do it, you know. I think the E
byte comparison is good. This is just make it make
you go a little quicker, or it could be like
it's like a superpower for you go walk or run
without barely even moving your lece. You can also lie
and be like, I work for a company, need someone
to test this out for thirty days. And I thought
(19:02):
of you.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I thought only of you. That's how you get them.
I thought only of you.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
You were the one person who came to my mind.
Why does it make sense for Thanksgiving? You're eating lots
of food, you feel like a sloth. Why not burn
some of that off by slapping these puppies on either
before or after the meal, you know, so right away
you can start using this.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
That's a healthy dose of technology to be giving on
Turkey Day. I do have a hard time, though, who
you'd give it to? That person I feel like is
the worst person to give it to. I mean, I
know that's the I mean, that's my natural inclination is
to give it to that person who needs it, who
is like, you know, kind of struggled with it, or
(19:51):
you know, that person who insists that's you know, the
smart watch steps count double after pie on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
You know, I think this is going to injure them.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah, how do they? You know, because your body's not
even prepared for that, because you know, they're hitting all
their steps without even trying, you know, And that does
to me, It doesn't seem like it. You know, the
physics of it doesn't seem like it makes sense. But
I'm with you. I'd want to give it to that,
you know, that person who definitely needs it. I just
don't know who that is other than an athlete who
(20:23):
wants to go faster. I mean, it's a good gift
for anybody. It kind of turns your legs into Tesla's,
you know, like ludicrous mode. You're kind of going super fast,
except hopefully less likely to burst into flames, which is possible.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Or what if you you know, wear them for a
while and it's just like Forrest Gump's leg braces. They
just pop off and then you just take off.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, that could be cool. Yeah, robot assisted shoes another thing.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Maybe, I mean, maybe we got it wrong. Maybe you
need like a person who's like totally in the middle,
Like I do some stuff sometimes, but maybe that's your
Maybe that's your target, like I should walk a little more.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So you're just an average person who just does average things,
and man, this just made you above average.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Yeah, there you go, making the average above average. Maybe
that's what this is all about, not making the below
average average.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, it's nice to feel above average, you know
what I mean, and the average person just wants that.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, yeah, they just need to cross that line.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Mind thundering. One oh one. Speaking of mind thundering.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Those are products that are that actually exists. They're out
there in the world. Now it's time for us to
bring something new into fruition from our own brains.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, so we're each going to share one original terrifying
Turkey Day tech gift that you didn't ask for, and
the same rules really apply. We're gonna, you know, talk
about who we'd give it to, why it would be
a good gift, you know, why it makes sense for Thanksgiving,
and maybe you have some thoughts on this too, like
what would be a great terrifying Turkey Day tech gift
(22:08):
that no one asked for? That second half of that
statement is always really critically important.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, people can't have if they have asked for it,
we don't want.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, if it was something that was like, oh yeah,
that makes a lot of sense, I'll tell you right now.
I think mine makes a lot of sense even though
no one asked for it.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I think mine does too. Mine might be asked for
after people hear it, But why don't you go. You
go first. Let's see see what you got.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
All right. Mine is called the seven second Stuffing Suit.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Okay, I love the name.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Totally original name, all from the heart here. It's a
full body exo suit that detects when you're approaching Thanksgiving
like a Thanksgiving Day table, and automatically compresses your torso
I up to thirty percent okay, and it gives you
(23:04):
extra stomach capacity for a maximum holiday intake. Wait a second,
all right.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
How does it give you more capacity by compressing?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I'm getting to that, I'm getting okay, sorry, So think
of as spanks meets iron Man. It's designed by me,
who you know, misunderstood the meaning of portion control. I
don't really know how to explain the tech. But expands
your stomach essentially even though it's compressing. It's expanding the
(23:37):
inside but compressing the outside. So your pants don't actually,
you know, like how people say I gotta unbutton my pants,
You don't have to unbutton them. It's only happening on
the inside of your stomach. Almost like you're compressing the
space between your stomach wall and your skin and you
have the outside of your body.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Science sounds pretty good there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It's physically possible. I've I've checked the math. Ah, I've
tripled checked the math. So who'd I give this to?
I'd give this to myself. Self gifting might be a sin,
but saving room for dessert is one more of the
difficult things. I think at Thanksgiving when you're like me
and you're like, oh, but I just want a little
bit more of that before I get to the dessert,
(24:21):
and then you're like bummed because you couldn't get enough dessert.
So this will allowed me to achieve my true potential,
you know, as a human trash compactor. Why it's a
good gift. You know, nobody wants to choose between mashed
potatoes and stuffing. It's a good gift. With the seven
second stuffing suit, you don't have to do that. It
optimizes your internal storage volume. It's tupperware but for your organs.
(24:45):
And everybody loves tupperware at Thanksgiving because that's where you
take the leftovers home in. So why it makes sense
for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year
where eating until you question your life decisions is not
only accepted, it's expected. So and second stuffing suit combines
tradition with technology, even if it's terrifying technology that nobody
(25:06):
asked for in the worst and best possible way.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Tupperware for your organ.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I you know, I love it. Tupperware for your organs
is like a great slogan too, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't go for that. It's got
a great name. The name sells itself. I don't care
what it is, I'm buying it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I literally came up with that name during a power nap.
I was power napping and I was like, what do
I call this thing that I have the idea for him? Like,
it's the seven second stuffing suit. I mean, it's perfect alliteration. Yeah,
all the way across.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Did you like shoot up? Do you like your eyes
opened and you just shot up and you said the words.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yes. I felt like Einstein, you know, when he would
like what he used to put his head on the
pencil or whatever and we'd fall and it was like
this brilliant light. That's how that's how it happened.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I mean, that's a good one. And you know solving.
You're right, people might need that. People want that. How
can I eat more?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I mean nobody asked for it, but people would
definitely want it. I mean, look at we had the
stovetop stuffing pants at one point. I mean, that's silly.
This is actually science. It's scientifically possible.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
So yeah, that's a good one. I mean, might be
better than you know, Neo.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
It's definitely better than NEO for sure. Might be a
little scary having tougherware for your organs, but you know, well.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's supposed to be terrifying in some way. Well let
me let me see what you think of this one,
this one being the Family Exit time Optimizer. The what
the family exit time optimizer? Okay, for helping family members
leave before overstaying their welcome. So how this technology works
(27:00):
as it uses thermal cameras, eye movement tracking, in small
talk fatigue analysis to calculate when each guest is psychologically
primed to head home. When the perfect departure window opens,
the smart home sends a gentle, totally coincidental text from
an unknown number such as, hey, did you mean to
(27:24):
leave your garage door open? Or your pet just made
a noise that sounded significant, or you might want to
check on your house. If there's no response to these texts,
you know, if that doesn't kind of get the person moving.
Then we move into slightly creepy mode where their car
alarm goes off and their car starts remotely. Because nothing
(27:49):
wraps up family time like a vehicle that's more eager
to go home than its owner.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's true, Like, Uh, my car is ready to go.
I gotta go.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I mean, what am I gonna My car is on.
I keep trying to turn it off. It just keeps
turning on. I'm just leaving.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I think it's a sign. Guys. I think it's a sign.
I think it's time for me to go.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I don't know what else to do here. So, you know,
who do you give this to? Like you, my first
thought was yourself, this might be a gift you give
to you just kind of keep things on the down low.
You know, you're hosting the event. You put this in there,
and then you can kind of, you know, control everybody
when it's time to leave. But my second thought was,
(28:30):
you know, maybe if you're a little more open about it,
it could be a gift kind of for everybody. At Thanksgiving,
You're like, listen, we all know it's weird. At the end,
somebody's like you want somebody to leave or people are
staying too long. You know it's time to go, and
you're like, can't get out of here. You know, maybe
you could just be upfront about it and like, listen,
we're going to use this technology and it's going to
(28:52):
tell us when it's time for each of us to go. Yeah,
you could take the covert approach or the upfront approach.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I like both.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Honestly depends on your the family or the scenario, what
kind of people you're working with.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, I guess that's a choice you have to make,
and you could probably make it based on you as theah.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
You'll know why this would be a good gift. Obviously
prevents the dreaded Thanksgiving evening drift into hour four of
so How's work automates the process of determining what we're
all too polite to say out loud. It's time for
someone to go, maybe time for everyone to go? Why
does it make sense for Thanksgiving? Post meal? Social stamina
(29:37):
collapses rapidly? Science supports this, and you know, coordinating departures
kind of an unspoken group project. Every year, the optimizer
just takes the wheel for you. Thanksgiving gatherings are all
about gratitude. And nothing says thanks, like knowing exactly when
to go home.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Oh, I like that. Remind me the name again.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
The name it is the Family Exit Time Optimizer Exit
Time Demiser Optimizer.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It's a mouthful.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, it probably needs like a you know, stupid shortened
name like Jerby or something, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Jerby Srby. This is a good I mean, it's a
good tech product actually that nobody really asked for. But
it's a good tech product. I actually think people have
asked for this, they just don't know it.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah, mentally, they're asking for it all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
The very first thing that came to mind when you
were telling me this was it created a mind thundering
storm in me and I immediately went to the family
friendly freeze ray. That's what I would call this tech
product that you inspired, and that was it's a product
that worked similarly in yours. But you know, it's like
you know, when you bring like a candle or something
(30:57):
and you put it on the you know, the dinner table,
and that candle then would be like become a freeze ray,
and it essentially when it was time for you to
go like your tech it would just almost like freeze
everyone at the table and in the vicinity and then
you just leave. And then when you're gone, everybody goes
(31:18):
back to normal and they're like, oh, yeah, you know,
and they're like where did where did Shad go? They're like, oh,
I don't I don't know. He was here second ago,
wasn't he? And then you know, but you're gone, you left.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Yeah. That, I mean, that's like a really simple You
set that up somewhere and when you're ready to go,
you just hit a button and you're you're out of there.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah. Maybe it's like a little wristband that you wear
and it detects your pulse and it's like, yeah, it's ready.
He's ready. He's ready to go. Even if you don't
know you're ready, it knows.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
You're ready or you're not admitting you're ready.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I like this idea though, because I think it's perfect
for Thanksgiving, especially families where you just you're not exactly
sure when you should leave.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Yeah it's going on too long, or you know, someone's
getting out of control with their ranting and raving.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And it happens at every Thanksgiving. I feel like for
every family.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah, well, here you have an automated thing that's.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Like Okay, the prompts are great, like you should check
on your house. It's very uh cryptic, and yeah, you
know I like that. I like that. Again, another terrible
tech product.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
I mean, we got a lot of them. Might have
to wait another year till they're actually on the market.
But a few things to choose from. Two things to
chew on this Thanksgiving when you're sitting around with your family,
talk about these things. Who would want them? Who they'd
be good for?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah, so you know, a little takeaway for today. If
today proved anything, it's the technology will keep marching forward,
whether we ask for it or not. The best we
can do is embrace the weird, you know, like Neo,
or enjoy the convenience of Nike's robot shoes that double
up on your calve muscle, and basically make sure that
(33:03):
robots don't unionize before dessert on Thanksgiving. If that's not
the spirit of Thanksgiving, I don't know what is.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, I agree, invite invite Neo to your Thanksgiving, you know,
and bring the technology. And I actually just had this idea.
What if we slap the you know, robot calves onto Neo?
Who goes? It's problematic for going a little slow. Maybe
we can speed this guy up a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, a little too much. Then he like gets a
taste of what it's like to be fast.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Yeah, let's hope he just enjoys Thanksgiving with his new family.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
All right, Well, remember, you can give thanks or you
can give tech. But if you give both, you can't
be surprised when the tech demands thanks on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
That should been your takeaway right there.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, that's it for today's episode. You can find current
and past episodes of the Post podcast, including all the
ones that we've done around the Thanksgiving holiday thirteen years
in counting, on Speaking human dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
We'll be back in two weeks with another special episode
of Speaking Human. Catch it in Humans
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Speakcking Human.
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