Captain Boldheart and the Latin-Grammar Master

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Captain Boldheart, and the Latin grammar Master, the subject of
our present narrative, would appear to have devoted himself to
the pirate profession. At a comparatively early age. We find
him in command of a splendid schooner of one hundred
guns loaded to the muzzle. Ere yet he had had

(00:22):
a party in honor of his tenth birthday. It seems
that our hero, considering himself spited by a Latin grammar master,
demanded the satisfaction due from one man of honor to another.
Not getting it, he privately withdrew his haughty spirit from

(00:43):
such low company, bought a second hand pocket pistol, folded
up some sandwiches in a paper bag, made a bottle
of Spanish licorice water, and entered on a career of valor.
It were tedious to follow bold Heart, for such was
his name. Through the commencing stages of his history, suffice

(01:08):
it that we find him bearing the rank of Captain
bold Heart, reclining in full uniform on a crimson hearth
rug spread out upon the quarter deck of his schooner,
The Beauty in the China Seas. It was a lovely evening,
and as his crew lay grouped about him. He favored

(01:29):
them with the following melody, Oh, landsmen are folly O.
Pirates are jolly O Di l um dali o dhi vio.
The soothing effect of these animated sounds floating over the
waters as the common sailors united their rough voices to
take up the rich tones of bold Heart, may be

(01:52):
more easily conceived than described. It was under these circumstances
that the lookout at the masthead gave the word wails.
All was now activity where away, cried Captain Boldheart, starting
up on the larboard. Bows Sir, replied the fellow at

(02:16):
the masthead, touching his hat, For such was the height
of discipline on board the Beauty, that even at that height,
he was obliged to mind it or be shocked through
the head. This adventure belongs to me, said bold Heart.
Boy my harpoon, let no man follow, And, leaping alone

(02:39):
into his boat, the captain rowed with admirable dexterity in
the direction of the monster. All was now excitement. He
nears him, said an elderly seaman, following the captain through
his spyglass. He strikes him, said another seaman. A mere stripling,

(02:59):
but also with a spyglass. He towes him towards us,
said another seaman, a man in the full vigor of life,
but also with a spyglass. In fact, the captain was
seen approaching with the huge bulk, following. We will not
dwell on the deafening cries of bold heart, bald heart

(03:21):
with which he was received. When carelessly leaping on the
quarter deck, he presented his prize to his men. They
afterwards made two thousand, four hundred and seventeen pound ten
and sixpence by it, Ordering the sails to be braced up.
The captain now stood west northwest. The beauty flew rather

(03:45):
than floated, over the dark blue waters. Nothing particular occurred
for a fortnight, except taking with considerable slaughter four Spanish
galleons and a snow from South America, all richly laden.
Inaction began to tell upon the spirits of the men.

(04:05):
Captain Baldthart called all hands aft and said, my lads,
I hear there are discontented ones among ye. Let any
such stand forth. After some murmuring in which the expressions aye, aye, sir,
Union jack, a vast starboard port, bowsprit and similar indications

(04:30):
of a mutinous undercurrent. Those subdued were audible. Bill Boozy,
captain of the foretop, came out from the rest. His
form was that of a giant, but he quailed under
the Captain's eye. What are your wrongs, said the captain.

(04:51):
Why d'ye see, capt'n Baldhart, replied the towering mariner. I've
sailed man and boy for many a year, but I
never yet knowed the milk served out for the ship's
company's tea to be so sour as 'tis aboard this craft.
At this moment, the thrilling cry man overboard announced to

(05:16):
the astonished crew that Boozy, in stepping back as the captain,
in mere thoughtfulness laid his hand upon the faithful pocket pistol,
which he wore in his belt, had lost his balance
and was struggling with the foaming tide. All was now stupefaction,

(05:38):
But with Captain Boltart to throw off his uniform coat,
regardless of the various rich orders with which it was decorated,
and to plunge into the sea after the drowning giant
was the work of a moment. Maddening was the excitement
when boats were lowered intense, the joy when the captain

(05:59):
was seen holding up the drowning man with his teeth,
deafening the cheering when both were restored to the main
deck of the Beauty, and from the instant of his
changing his wet clothes for dry ones. Captain Bolthart had
no such devoted, though humble friend as William Boozy. Bold

(06:25):
Heart now pointed to the horizon and called the attention
of his crew to the taper spars of a ship
lying snug in harbor under the guns of a fort.
She shall be ours at sunrise, said he serve out
a double allowance of grog, and prepare for action. All

(06:47):
was now preparation. When morning dawned after a sleepless night,
it was seen that the Stranger was crowding on all
sail to come out of the harbor and offer battle.
As the two ships came nearer to each other, the
Stranger fired a gun and hoisted Roman colors. Bold Heart

(07:09):
then perceived her to be the Latin grammar master's bark.
Such indeed she was, and had been tacking about the
world in unavailing pursuit from the time of his first
taking to a roving life Baldthart now addressed his men,
promising to blow them up if he should feel convinced

(07:31):
that their reputation required it, and giving orders that the
Latin grammar Master should be taken alive. He then dismissed
them to their quarters, and the fight began with a
broadside from the Beauty. She then veered round and poured
in another. The scorpion, so was the bark of the

(07:53):
Latin grammar Master, appropriately called, was not slow to return
her fire, and at terrific cannonading ensued, in which the
guns of the Beauty did tremendous execution. The Latin grammar
Master was seen upon the poop in the midst of

(08:13):
the smoke and fire, encouraging his men to do him justice.
He was no craven, though his white hat, his short
gray trousers, and his long snuff colored surtout reaching to
his heels. The self same coat in which he had
spited bold Heart, contrasted most unfavorably with the brilliant uniform

(08:38):
of the latter. At this moment, bold Heart, seizing a
pike and putting himself at the head of his men,
gave the word to board a desperate conflict ensued in
the Hammock Nettings, or somewhere in about that direction, until
the Latin grammar master, having all his his masts gone,

(09:01):
his hull and rigging shot through and through, and seeing
bold Heart slashing a path towards him, hauled down his
flag himself, gave up his sword to Boldthart and asked
for quarter scarce had he been put into the captain's boat.
Ere the scorpion went down, with all on board. On

(09:26):
Captain Boldhart's now assembling his men, a circumstance occurred. He
found it necessary, with one blow of his cutlass, to
kill the cook, who, having lost his brother in the
late action, was making at the Latin grammar master in
an infuriated state, intent on his destruction with a carving knife.

(09:50):
Captain Bolthart then turned to the Latin grammar master, severely
reproaching him with his perfidy, and put it to his
crew what they can see that a master who spited
a boy deserved? They answered, with one voice death. It
may be so, said the captain, but it shall never

(10:12):
be said that bold Heart stained his hour of triumph
with the blood of his enemy. Prepare the cutter. The
cutter was immediately prepared without taking your life, said the captain,
I must yet forever deprive you of the power of
spiting other boys. I shall turn you adrift. In this boat.

(10:37):
You will find in her two oars, a compass, a
bottle of rum, a small cask of water, a piece
of pork, a bag of biscuit, and my Latin grammar.
Go and spite the natives if you can find any.
Deeply conscious of this bitter sarcasm, the unhappy wretch was

(10:59):
put into the cutter and was soon left far behind.
He made no effort to row, but was seen lying
on his back with his legs up when last made
out by the ship's telescopes. A stiff breeze now beginning
to blow, Captain Boldtheart gave orders to keep her south southwest,

(11:22):
easing her a little during the night by falling off
a point or two west by west, or even by
west south if she complained much. He then retired for
the night, having in truth much need of repose. In
addition to the fatigues he had undergone, this brave officer

(11:42):
had received sixteen wounds in the engagement, but had not
mentioned it. In the morning, a white squall came on
and was succeeded by other squalls of various colors. It
thundered and lightened heavily for six weeks. Hurricanes then set
in for two months. Water spouts and tornadoes followed. The

(12:07):
oldest sailor on board, and he was a very old
one had never seen such weather. The beauty lost all
idea where she was, and the carpenter reported six feet
two of water in the hold. Everybody fell senseless at
the pumps every day. Provisions now ran very low. Our

(12:32):
hero put the crew on short allowance, and put himself
on shorter allowance than any man in the ship. But
his spirit kept him fat. In this extremity. The gratitude
of Boozy, the captain of the Foretop, whom Our readers
may remember, was truly affecting the loving though lowly William

(12:54):
repeatedly requested to be killed and preserved for the captain's table.
We now approach a change in affairs. One day, during
a gleam of sunshine, and when the weather had moderated,
the man at the masthead, too weak now to touch
his hat, besides its having been blown away, called out savages.

(13:22):
All was now expectation presently fifteen hundred canoes, each paddled
by twenty savages were seen advancing in excellent order. They
were a light green color. The savages were and sang
with great energy the following strain, chewwatchu watchu tooth munch

(13:47):
much nicey, chewwatchu watch tooth munch much nice As the
shades of night were by this time closing in. These
expressions were supposed to embody this simple people's view of
the evening hymn, But it too soon appeared that the

(14:09):
song was a translation of for what we are going
to receive, et cetera. The chief, imposingly decorated with feathers
of lively colors, and having the majestic appearance of a
fighting parrot, no sooner understood he understood English perfectly that

(14:29):
the ship was the beauty Captain bold Heart. Than he
fell upon his face on the deck, and could not
be persuaded to rise until the captain had lifted him
up and told him he wouldn't hurt him all. The
rest of the savages also fell on their faces with
marks of terror, and had also to be lifted up

(14:52):
one by one. Thus the fame of the great bold
Heart had gone before him. Even among these children of nature,
turtles and oysters were now produced in astonishing numbers, And
on these and yams the people made a hearty meal.

(15:14):
After dinner, the chief told Captain Boldheart that there was
better feeding up at the village, and that he would
be glad to take him and his officers there. Apprehensive
of treachery, bold Heart ordered his boat's crew to attend
him completely armed and well. Were it for other commanders

(15:36):
if their precautions, But let us not anticipate. When the
canoes arrived at the beach, the darkness of the night
was illuminated by the light of an immense fire. Ordering
his boat's crew, with the intrepid though illiterate William at

(15:57):
their head, to keep close and be upon their guard,
bold Heart bravely went on arm in arm with the chief.
But how to depict the captain's surprise when he found
a ring of savages singing in chorus that barbarous translation

(16:19):
of for what we are going to receive et cetera,
which has been given above, and dancing hand in hand
round the Latin grammar master in a hamper with his
head shaved, while two savages flowered him before putting him
to the fire to be cooked. Baldhart now took counsel

(16:44):
with his officers on the course to be adopted. In
the meantime, the miserable captive never ceased begging pardon and
imploring to be delivered on the generous bald Heart's proposal,
it was at length resolved that he should not be cooked,
but should be allowed to remain raw, on two conditions, namely,

(17:09):
number one, that he should never, under any circumstances, presume
to teach any boy anything any more. Number two that
if taken back to England, he should pass his life
in traveling to find out boys who wanted their exercises done,

(17:31):
and should do their exercises for those boys for nothing,
and never say a word about it. Drawing his sword
from its sheath, bold Heart swore him to these conditions
on its shining blade. The prisoner wept bitterly and appeared
acutely to feel the errors of his past career. The

(17:56):
captain then ordered his boat's crew to make ready for
a and after firing, to reload quickly and expect a
score or two on ye to go head over heels,
murmured William Boozy, For I'm a lookin at ye. With

(18:17):
those words, the derisive though deadly William took a good
aim fire. The ringing voice of bold Heart was lost
in the report of the guns and the screeching of
the savages. Volley after volley awakened the numerous echoes. Hundreds

(18:39):
of savages were killed, hundreds wounded, and thousands ran howling
into the woods. The Latin grammar master had a spare
nightcap lent him, and a long tail coat, which he
wore hind side before he presented a ludicrous though pitiable appearance,

(19:00):
and serve him right. We now find Captain Bolthart, with
this rescued wretch on board, standing off for other islands.
At one of these, not a cannibal island, but a
pork and vegetable one, he married only in fun on

(19:21):
his part, the King's daughter. Here he rested some time,
receiving from the natives great quantities of precious stones, gold dust, elephants,
teeth and sandalwood, and getting very rich. This too, though
he almost every day made presents of enormous value to

(19:43):
his men, the ship being at length as full as
she could hold of all sorts of valuable things, Baldthart
gave orders to weigh the anchor and turn the beauty's
head toward England. These orders were obeyed with three cheers,

(20:04):
and ere the sun went down full many a hornpipe
had been danced on deck by the uncouth, though agile William.
We next find Captain Boldheart about three leagues off Madera,
surveying through his spyglass a stranger of suspicious appearance making

(20:25):
sail towards him. On his firing a gun ahead of
her to bring her to she ran up a flag,
which he instantly recognized as the flag from the mast
in the back garden at home. Inferring from this that
his father had put to sea to seek his long

(20:46):
lost son, the captain sent his own boat on board
the stranger to inquire if this was so, and, if so,
whether his father's intentions were strictly honorable. The boat came
back with a present of greens and fresh meat, and
reported that the Stranger was the family of twelve hundred tons,

(21:09):
and had not only the captain's father on board, but
also his mother, with the majority of his aunts and uncles,
and all his cousins. It was further reported to bold
Heart that the whole of these relations had expressed themselves
in a becoming manner, and were anxious to embrace him,

(21:29):
and thanked him for the glorious credit he had done them.
Baldhart at once invited them to breakfast next morning on
board the Beauty, and gave orders for a brilliant ball
that should last all day. In the course of the
night that the captain discovered the hopelessness of reclaiming the

(21:50):
Latin grammar master, That thankless traitor was found out. As
the two ships lay near each other, commutedting with the
family by signals and offering to give up Bold Heart.
He was hanged at the yard arm the first thing
in the morning, after having it impressively pointed out to

(22:14):
him by bold Heart that this was what spiders came to.
The meeting between the captain and his parents was attended
with tears. His uncles and aunts would have attended their
meeting with tears too, but he wasn't going to stand that.
His cousins were very much astonished by the size of

(22:36):
his ship and the discipline of his men, and were
greatly overcome by the splendor of his uniform. He kindly
conducted them round the vessel and pointed out everything worthy
of notice. He also fired his hundred guns and found
it amusing to witness their alarm. The entertainment surpassed everything

(23:02):
ever seen on board ship, and lasted from ten in
the morning until seven the next morning. Only one disagreeable
incident occurred. Captain Boldhart found himself obliged to put his
cousin Tom in irons for being disrespectful on the boy's

(23:22):
promising amendment. However, he was humanely released after a few
hours close confinement. Baldhart now took his mother down into
the great cabin and asked after the young lady, with
whom it was well known to the world he was
in love. His mother replied that the object of his

(23:46):
affections was then at school at Margate for the benefit
of sea bathing. It was the month of September, but
that she feared the young lady's friends were still opposed
to the union. Bold Heart at once resolved, if necessary,
to bombard the town, taking the command of his ship

(24:10):
with this intention and putting all but fighting men on
board the family with orders to that vessel to keep
in company. Bold Heart soon anchored in Margate roads. Here
he went ashore, well armed and attended by his boat's crew.
At their head. The faithful, though ferocious William and demanded

(24:32):
to see the Mayor, who came out of his office.
Dost know the name of yon ship? Mayor asked bold Heart. Fiercely, No,
said the Mayor, rubbing his eyes, which he could scarce
believe when he saw the goodly vessel riding at anchor.

(24:53):
She is named the beauty, said the captain. Ha exclaimed
the Mayor with a start, And you then are Captain
bold Heart the same. A pause ensued. The Mayor trembled. Now, Mayor,

(25:14):
said the captain, choose help me to my bride or
be bombarded. The Mayor begged for two hours grace in
which to make inquiries respecting the young lady. Bold Heart
accorded him but one, and during that one placed William

(25:35):
Boozy sentry over him with a drawn sword and instructions
to accompany him wherever he went, and to run him
through the body if he showed a sign of playing false.
At the end of the hour, the Mayor reappeared more
dead than alive, closely waited on by Boozy. More alive

(25:58):
than dead, Captain, said the Mayor. I have ascertained that
the young lady is going to bathe. Even now she
waits her turn for a machine. The tide is low,
though rising I in one of our town boats shall
not be suspected. When she comes forth in her bathing

(26:19):
dress into the shallow water from behind the hood of
the machine, my boat shall intercept her and prevent her return.
Do you the rest Mayor returned, Captain Bolthart thou hast
saved thy town. The captain then signaled his boat to

(26:41):
take him off, and, steering her himself, ordered her crew
to row towards the bathing ground and there to rest
upon their oars. All happened as had been arranged. His
lovely bride came forth, the Mayor glided in behind her.
She became confus used and had floated out of her depth, when,

(27:03):
with one skillful touch of the rudder and one quivering
stroke from the boat's crew, her adoring bold heart held
her in his strong arms. There her shrieks of terror
were changed to cries of joy. Before the beauty could
get under weigh, the hoisting of all the flags in

(27:25):
the town and harbor, and the ringing of all the
bells announced to the brave bold heart that he had
nothing to fear. He therefore determined to be married on
the spot, and signaled for a clergyman and clerk, who
came off promptly in a sailing boat named the Skylark.
Another great entertainment was then given on board the Beauty,

(27:49):
in the midst of which the Mayor was called out
by a messenger. He returned with the news that government
had sent down to know whether Captain Boldhart, in an
acknowledgement of the great services he had done his country
by being a pirate, would consent to be made a
lieutenant colonel for himself. He would have spurned the worthless boon,

(28:13):
but his bride wished it, and he consented. Only one
thing further happened before the good ship family was dismissed,
with rich presents to all on board. It is painful
to record, but such as human nature in some cousins,
that Captain Boldheart's unmannerly cousin Tom was actually tied up

(28:38):
to receive three dozen with a rope's end for cheekiness
and making games. When Captain Boldhart's lady begged for him
and he was spared. The Beauty then refitted, and the
captain and his bride departed for the Indian Ocean to
enjoy themselves for ever. Of Captain Boldheart and the Latin

(29:06):
Grammar Master by Charles Dickens