Advanced Chemistry - Jack G Huekels

Listen Ad Free https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Advanced Chemistry by Jack G. Hoykels. Professor Carbonick was diligently
at work in his spacious laboratory, analyzing, mixing, and experimenting.
He had been employed for more than fifteen years in
the same pursuit of happiness, in the same house, same laboratory,

(00:21):
and attended by the same servant, woman who in her
long period of service had attained the plumpness and respectability
of two hundred and ninety pounds. Magnesia called the professor.
The servant's name was Maggie Nessia. Professor Carbonick had contracted
the title to save time, for in fifteen years he

(00:45):
had not mounted the heights of greatness. He must work
harder and faster as life is short, and eliminate such
shameful waste of time as putting the ghe on Maggie Pia,
the professor repeated. The old woman rolled slowly into the room,

(01:06):
Get rid of these and bring the ones the boy
brought today. He handed her a tray containing three dead
rats whose brains had been subjected to analysis. Yes, Mars,
answered Magnesia in a tone like citrate. The professor busied
himself with a new preparation of zinc oxide and copper

(01:28):
sulfate and sal ammoniac, his latest concoction, which was about
to be used and, like its predecessors, to be abandoned.
Magnesia appeared, bringing another rat dead. The professor made no
experiments on live animals. He had hired a boy in

(01:48):
the neighborhood to bring him fresh dead rats at twenty
five cents per head. Taking the tray, he prepared a
hypodermic filled with the new preparation. Carefully, he made an
incision above the right eye of the carcass, through the bone.
He lifted the hypodermic, half hopelessly, half expectantly. The old

(02:13):
woman watched him, as she had done many times before,
with always the same pitiful expression, pitiful either for the
man himself or for the dead rat. Magnesia seldom expressed
her views. Inserting the hypodermic needle and injecting the contents
of the syringe, Professor Carbonic stepped back Great Saints, His

(02:40):
voice could have been heard a mile. Slowly, the rat's
tail began to point skyward, and as slowly, Magnesia began
to turn white. Professor Carbonic stood as paralyzed. The rat trembled,
then moved his feet. The man of sixty years made
one jump with the lacrity of a boy of sixteen.

(03:01):
He grabbed the enlivened animal and held it high above
his head as he jumped about the room. Spying the servant,
who until now had seemed unable to move, he threw
both his arms around her, bringing the rat close to
her face. Around the laboratory they danced to the tune
of the woman's shrieks. The professor held on and the

(03:22):
woman yelled up and down spasmodically. On the laboratory floor
came the two hundred and ninety pounds, with the professor
thrown in bottles tumbled from the shelves. Furniture was upset,
precious liquids flowed, unrestrained and unnoticed. Finally, the professor dropped
with exhaustion, and the rat and Magnesia made a dash

(03:46):
for freedom. Early in the morning, pedestrians on Arlington Avenue
were attracted by a sign in brilliant letters. Professor Carbonic,
early in the morning, betook himself to the nearest hardware
store and purchased the tools necessary for his new profession.
He was an MD, and his recently acquired knowledge put

(04:10):
him in a position to startle the world. Having procured
what he needed, he returned home. Things were developing fast.
Magnesia met him at the door and told him that
Sally Soda, who was known to the neighborhood as sal
Or sal Soda generally, had fallen down two flights of stairs, and,

(04:31):
to use her own words, was pretty bad. Salsoda's mother,
in sending for a doctor, had read the elaborate sign
of the new enemy of death and begged that he
come to see sal as soon as he returned. Bidding
Magnesia to accompany him, he went to the laboratory and
secured his precious preparation. Professor Carbonic and the unwilling Magnesia

(04:58):
started out to put new life in to a little
Salsoda who lived in the same block. Reaching the house,
they met the family physician, then attendant on little sal
Doctor x Ray, had also read the sign of the professor,
and his greeting was very chilly. How is the child,

(05:20):
asked the professor, fatally hurt and can live but an hour?
Then he added, I have done all that can be done,
all that you can do, corrected the professor with a
withering glance. Doctor x Ray left the room and the
house his reputation was such as to admit of no intrusion.

(05:46):
I am sorry, she is not dead. It would be
easier to work and also a more reasonable charge. Giving
Magnesia his instruments, he administered a local anesthetic. This done
a brace and a bit that he procured that morning.
With these instruments, he bored a small hole into the

(06:08):
child's head. Inserting his hypodermic needle, he injected the immortal fluid. Then,
cutting off the end of a dowel which he had
also procured that morning, he hammered it into the hole
until it wedged itself tight. Professor Carbonyx seated himself comfortably
and awaited the action of his injection, while the plump

(06:31):
Magnescia paced, or rather waddled the floor, with a bag
of carpenter's tools under her arm. The fluid worked, the
child came to and sat up. Sal Soda had regained
her PEP. It will be one dollar and twenty five cents,
Missesoda apologized the professor. I have to make that charge,

(06:55):
as it is so inconvenient to work on them when
they are still alive. Having collected his fee, the Professor
and Magnesia departed amid the ever rising blessings of the
Soda family. At three thirty pm, Magnesia sought her employer,
who was asleep in the sitting room, Mars Paul, a gentleman,

(07:18):
to see you. The professor awoke and had her send
the man in. The man entered hurriedly, hat in hand.
Are you, Professor Carbonic? I am, what can I do
for you? Can you? The man hesitated. My friend has
just been killed in an accident. You couldn't he hesitated again.

(07:42):
I know that it is unbelievable, answered the professor, But
I can. Professor Carbonic, for some years had suffered from
the effects of a weak heart. His fears on this
score had recently been in entirely relieved. He now had
the prescription death no more. The startling discovery and the

(08:08):
happenings of the last twenty four hours had begun to
take effect on him, and he did not wish to
make another call until he was feeling better. I'll go,
said the professor, after a period of musing. My discoveries
are for the benefit of the human race. I must
not consider myself. He satisfied himself that he had all

(08:31):
his tools. He had just sufficient of the preparation for
one injection. This he thought would be enough. However, he
placed in his case two vials of different solutions, which
were the basis of his discovery. These fluids had but
to be mixed, and after the chemical reaction had taken place,

(08:53):
the preparation was ready for use. He searched the house
for magnesia, but the old servant had made it certain
that she did not intend to act as nurse to
dead men on their journey back to life. Reluctantly, he
decided to go without her. How is it possible, exclaimed

(09:13):
the stranger as they climbed into the waiting machine. I
have worked for fifteen years before I found the solution,
answered the professor slowly. I cannot understand on what you
have based a theory for experimenting on something that has
been universally accepted as impossible. Of solution with electricity, all

(09:38):
is possible, as I have proved. Seeing this skeptical look,
his companion assumed, he continued, Electricity is the basis of
every motive power we have. It is the base of
every formation that we know. The professor was warming to
the subject. Go On, said the stranger. I am extremely

(10:03):
interested every sort of heat that is known, whether dormant
or active is only one arm of the gigantic force. Electricity.
The most our knowledge of electricity has been gained through
its offspring, magnetism. A body entirely devoid of electricity is
a body dead. Magnetism is apparent in many things, including

(10:27):
the human race, and its presence in many people is prominent.
But how did this lead to your experiments? If magnetism
or motive force is the offspring of electricity, the human
body must and does contain electricity. That we use more

(10:48):
electricity than the human body will induce is a fact.
It is apparent therefore, that a certain amount of electricity
must be generated within the human body, and without aid
of any any outside forces. Science has known for years
that the body's power is brought into action through the brain.
The brain is our generator. The little cells and the

(11:11):
fluid that separate them have the same action as the
liquid of a wet battery. Like a wet battery, this
fluid wears out, and we must replace the fluid or
the sal ammoniac, or we lose the use of the
battery or body. I have discovered what fluid to use
that will produce the electricity in the brain cells which

(11:33):
the human body is unable to induce. We are here,
said the stranger, as he brought the car to a
stop at the curb. You are still a skeptic, noting
the voice of the man, But you shall see shortly.
The man led him into the house and introduced him
to Missus Murray Attic, who conducted him to the room

(11:56):
where the deceased Murray Attic was laid. Without a word,
the professor began his preparations. He was ill and would
have preferred to have been at rest in his own
comfortable house. He would do the work quickly and get away.
Selecting a gimlet, he bored a hole through the skull

(12:17):
of the dead man. Inserting his hypodermic, he injected all
the fluid he had mixed. He had not calculated on
the size of the gimlet, and the dowels he carried
would not fit the hole. As a last resource, he
drove in his lead pencil, broke it off close, and
carefully cut the splinter smooth with the head. It will

(12:40):
be seventy five cents, madam, said the professor, as he
finished the work. Missus Murray Attock paid the money. Unconsciously.
She did not know whether he was embalming her husband
or just trying the keenness of his new tools. The
death had been too much for her. The minutes passed,

(13:01):
and still the dead man showed no signs of reviving.
Professor Carbonick paced the floor in an agitated manner. He
began to be doubtful of his ability to bring the
man back. Worried, he continued to tramp up and down
the room. His heart was affecting him. He was tempted

(13:21):
to return the seventy five cents to the prostrate wife.
When the dead man moved, the professor clasped his hands
to his throat, and, with his head thrown back, dropped
to the floor a fatal attack of the heart. He
became conscious quickly the bottles there He whispered, mix, make injection.

(13:45):
He became unconscious again. The stranger found the gimlet and
bored a hole in the Professor's head. Hastily seizing one
of the vials, he poured the contents into the deeply
made hole. Then he realized that there was another bottle.
Mix that shriek the almost hysterical woman. It was too late.
The one vial was empty, and the Professor's body lay

(14:08):
lifeless in mental agony. The stranger grasped the second vial
and emptied its contents, also into the Professor's head, and
stopped the hole with the cork. Miraculously, Professor Carbonick opened
his eyes and rose to his feet. His eyes were
like balls of fire. His lips moved inaudibly, and as
they moved, little blue sparks were seen to pass from

(14:30):
one to another. His hair stood out from his head.
The chemical reaction was going on into Professor's brain with
a dose powerful enough to restore ten men. He tottered slightly,
murray Attic, now thoroughly alive, sat up straight in bed.
He grasped the brass bedpost with one hand and stretched
out the other to aid the staggering man. He caught

(14:52):
his hand. Both bodies stiffened. A slight crackling sound was audible,
a blue flash shot from where Attics had made contact
with the bedpost, then a dull thud as both bodies
struck the floor. Both men were electrocuted, and the formula
is still a secret. The End and of Advanced Chemistry

(15:19):
by Jack G. Hoykels