August 19, 2025 • 23 mins
Marie Francoise Therese Martin, lovingly known as The Little Flower, was born on January 2, 1873, in Alencon, France, to Louis Martin and Zelie Guerin. As the youngest of nine siblings, she faced profound loss early in life when her mother passed away when she was just three years old. The family relocated to Lisieux to be closer to relatives, setting the stage for Therese’s spiritual journey. At the tender age of 15, Therese entered the Carmelite convent in Lisieux on April 9, 1888, despite facing significant opposition. It was within those sacred walls that she penned her spiritual autobiography, LHistoire dune Ame (The Story of a Soul), out of obedience and love. Her sisters followed her path into religious life, with one joining her at the Carmel and another becoming a Poor Clare at the Visitation Convent in Caen. Thereses life was brief; she succumbed to tuberculosis on September 30, 1897, at the Carmel of Lisieux. Her legacy lives on, as she was beatified on April 29, 1923, and canonized on May 17, 1925. (Summary written by Ann Boulais.)
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter seven of the Story of a Soul. This is
a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Anne Boulay, The Story of a Soul, the
autobiography of Saint Terrez of Le Sieux, translated by Thomas Taylor.
(00:24):
Chapter seven, The Little Flower Enters the Caramel. Monday, April ninth,
eighteen eighty eight, being the feast of the Annunciation transferred
from Passion Tide, was the day chosen for me to
enter the Caramel. On the evening before we were gathered
round the table where I was to take my place
for the last time. These farewells are in themselves heart rending,
(00:46):
and just when I would have liked to be forgotten,
I received the tenderest expressions of affection, as if to
increase the pain of parting. The next morning, after a
last look at the happy home of my childhood, I
set out for the carmel, where we are all heard mass.
At the moment of communion, when Jesus had entered our hearts,
I heard sobs on all sides. I did not shed
(01:08):
a tear, but As I led the way to the
cloister door, my heart beat so violently that I wondered
if I were going to die. Oh the agony of
that moment. One must have experienced it in order to understand.
I embraced all my dear ones and knelt for my
father's blessing. He too, knelt down and blessed me through
his tears. It was a sight to gladden the angels,
(01:30):
this old man giving his child to God while she
was yet in the springtime of life. At length, the
doors of the carmel closed upon me. I found a
welcome in your arms, dear mother, and received the embraces
of another family whose devotedness and love is not dreamt
of by the outside world. At last, my desires were realized,
and I cannot describe the deep, sweet peace which filled
(01:52):
my soul. This peace has remained with me during the
eight and a half years of my life here, and
has never left me, even amid the greatest trials. Everything
in the convent delighted me, especially our little cell. Footnote. Nuns,
in the spirit of poverty, avoid using the word my
as denoting private possessions, so later on our lamp, our
(02:15):
handkerchief will occur. Editor and footnote. I fancied myself transported
to the desert. I repeat that my happiness was calm
and peaceful. Not even the lightest breeze ruffled the tranquil
waters on which my little bark sailed. No cloud darkened
the blue sky. I felt fully recompensed for all I
had gone through, and I kept saying, now I am
(02:38):
here forever. Mine was no passing joy. It did not
fade light first illusions from illusions, God, in his mercy,
has ever preserved me. I found the religious life just
what I expected, and sacrifice was never a matter of surprise.
Yet you know well from the beginning my ways were
strewn with thorns rather than with roses. In the first place,
(03:00):
my soul had for its daily food the bread of
spiritual dryness. Then, too, dear Mother, our Lord allowed you
unconsciously to treat me very severely. You found fault with
me whenever you met me. I remember once I had
left a cobweb in the cloister, and you said to
me before the whole community, it is easy to see
that our cloisters are swept by a child of fifteen.
(03:22):
It is disgraceful. Go and sweep away that cobweb and
be more careful in the future. On the rare occasions
when I spent an hour with you for spiritual direction,
you seemed to be scolding me nearly all the time.
And what pained me most of all was that I
did not see how to correct my faults, for instance,
my slow ways and wants of thoroughness in my duties,
(03:43):
faults which you were careful to point out. One day,
it occurred to me that you would certainly prefer me
to spend my free time in work instead of in prayer,
as was my custom. So I plied my needle industriously
without even raising my eyes. No one ever knew of this,
as I wished to be faithful to our Lord and
do things solely for him to see. When I was
(04:04):
a postulant, our mistress used to send me every afternoon
at half past four to wead the garden. This was
a real penance, the more so, dear Mother, because I
was almost sure to meet you on the way, and
once you remarked, really, this child does absolutely nothing. What
are we to think of a novice who must have
a walk every day? And yet, dear Mother, how grateful
(04:26):
I am to you for giving me such a sound
and valuable training. It was an inestimable grace. What should
I have become if, as the outside world believed, I
had been but the pet of the community. Perhaps, instead
of seeing Our Lord in the person of my superiors,
I should only have considered the creature, and my heart,
which had been so carefully guarded in the world, would
(04:48):
have been ensnared by human affection in the cloister. Happily,
your motherly prudence saved me from such disaster, and not
only in this matter, but in other and more bitter trials.
I can truly say that Suffering opened her arms to
me from the first, and I took her to my heart.
In the solemn examination before my profession, I declared, as
(05:09):
was customary, the reason of my entry into the Carmel,
I have come to save souls, and especially to pray
for priests. One cannot attain the end without adopting the means,
And as Our Lord made me understand that it was
by the cross he would give me souls. The more
crosses I met with, the stronger grew my attraction to suffering.
For five years, this way was mine, but I alone
(05:32):
knew it This was precisely the flower I wished to
offer to Jesus, a hidden flower which keeps his perfume
only for heaven. Two months after my entry, Father Pichon
was surprised at the workings of grace in my soul.
He thought my piety childlike and my path an easy one.
My conversation with this good Father would have brought me
great comfort had it not been for the extreme difficulty
(05:55):
I found in opening my heart. Nevertheless, I made a
general confession, and after he said to me, before God,
the Blessed Virgin, and Angels and all the saints, I
declare that you have never committed a mortal sin. Thank
God for the favors he has so freely bestowed on you,
without any merit on your part, without any merit on
(06:15):
my part. That was not difficult to believe. Fully, conscious
of my weakness and imperfection, my heart overflowed with gratitude.
I had distressed myself fearing I might have stained my
baptismal robe. And this assurance, coming as it did from
the lips of a director, a man of wisdom and holiness,
such as our mother Saint Theresa desired, seemed to come
(06:36):
from God. Himself. Father Pochon added, may our Lord always
be your superior and your novice master. And indeed he
ever was, and likewise my director. In saying this, I
do not mean to imply that I was not communicative
with my superiors. Far from being reserved, I always tried
to be as an open book. Our mistress was a
(06:58):
true saint, the perfect type of the first Carmelites, and
I seldom left her side, for she had to teach
me how to work. Her kindness was beyond words. I
loved and appreciated her, and yet my soul did not
expand I could not explain myself. Words failed me, and
so the time a spiritual direction became a veritable martyrdom.
One of the older nuns seemed to understand what I felt,
(07:20):
for once she said to me during recreation, I should think, child,
you have not much to tell your superiors. Why do
you think that, dear mother, I asked, because your soul
is very simple, but when you are perfect, you will
become more simple. Still, the nearer one approaches God, the
simpler one becomes. This good mother was right. Nevertheless, the
(07:43):
great difficulty I found in opening my heart, though it
came from simplicity was a genuine trial. Now, however, without
having lost my simplicity, I am able to express my
thoughts with the greatest ease. I have already said that
our Lord himself had acted as my spiritual guide. Hardly
had Father Poucham become my director. When his superiors sent
(08:04):
him to Canada, I was only able to hear from
him once a year. So now the little flower, which
had been transplanted to the mountain of Carmel, quickly turned
to the Director of directors and unfolded itself under the
shadow of his cross, having for refreshing dew, his tears,
his precious blood, and for radiant son, his adorable face.
(08:25):
Until then I had not appreciated the beauties of the
holy face. It was my dear mother, Agnes of Jesus
who unveiled them to me. As she had been the
first of her sisters to enter the Carmel, so she
was the first to penetrate the mysteries of love hidden
in the face of our divine spouse. Then she showed
them to me, and I understood better than ever in
(08:45):
what true glory consists he whose kingdom is not of
this world. John eighteen, verse thirty six taught me that
the only royalty to be coveted lies in being unknown
and esteemed as not imitation of Christ Book one, two three,
and in the joy of self abasement. And I wish
(09:06):
that my face, like the face of Jesus, should be
as it were, hidden and despised Isaiah fifty three, verse three,
so that no one on earth should esteem me. I
thirsted to suffer and to be forgotten. Most merciful has
been the way by which the Divine Master has ever
led me. He has never inspired me with any desire
(09:27):
and left it unsatisfied, And that is why I have
always found his bitter chalice full of sweetness. At the
end of May, Marie, our eldest, was professed and terres
the Benjamin had the privilege of crowning her with roses
on the day of her mystical espousals. After this happy feast,
trials again came upon us. Ever since his first attack
(09:49):
of paralysis, we realized that my father was very easily tired.
During our journey to Rome, I often noticed that he
seemed exhausted and in pain. But above all I remark
his progress in the path of holiness. He had succeeded
in obtaining a complete mastery over the impetuosity of his
natural disposition, and earthly things were unable to ruffle his calm.
(10:11):
Let me give you an instance. During our pilgrimage, we
were in the train for days and nights together, and
to while away the time, our companions played cards and
occasionally grew very noisy. One day they asked us to
join them, but we refused, saying we knew little about
the game. We did not find the time long, only
too short, indeed to enjoy the beautiful views which opened
(10:34):
before us. Presently, their annoyance became evident, and then dear
Papa began quietly to defend us, pointing out that as
we were on pilgrimage, more of our time might be
given to prayer. One of the players forgetting the respect
due to age, called out thoughtlessly, thank God, pharisees are rare.
My father did not answer a word. He even seemed pleased,
(10:56):
and later on he found an opportunity of shaking hands
with the man, and of speaking so pleasantly that the
latter must have thought his rude words had either not
been heard, or at least were forgotten. His habit of
forgiveness did not date from this day. My mother and
all who knew him bore witness that no uncharitable word
ever passed his lips. His faith and generosity were likewise
(11:18):
equal to any trial. This is how he announced my
departure to one of his friends, Terres, My little queen
entered the carmel yesterday. God alone could ask such a sacrifice.
But he helps me so mightily that even in the
midst of tears, my heart is overflowing with joy. This
faithful servant must needs receive a reward worthy of his virtues,
(11:39):
and he himself claimed that reward. You remember the interview
when he said to us children, I have just come
back from Alan Shan, and there in the church of
Notre Dame I received such graces and consolations that I
made this prayer. My God, it is too much. Yes,
I am too happy. I shall not get to Heaven
like this. I wish to suffer something for THEE, and
(12:01):
I offered myself as a The word victim died on
his lips. He dared not pronounce it before us, but
we understood. You know, dear mother, the story of our trial.
I need not recall it sorrowful details. And now my
clothing day drew near. Contrary to all expectations, my father
had recovered from a second attack, and the bishop fixed
(12:23):
the ceremony for January tenth. The time of waiting had
been long, indeed, but now what a beautiful feast. Nothing
was wanting, not even snow. Do you remember my telling you,
dear mother, how fond I am of snow while I
was still quite small. Its whiteness entranced me. Why had
I such a fancy for snow? Perhaps it was because,
(12:44):
being a little winter flower, my eyes first saw the
earth clad in its beautiful white mantle. So on my
clothing day I wished to see a decked like myself
in spotless white. The weather was so mild it might
have been spring, and I no longer dared hope for snow.
The morning of the feast brought no change, and I
gave up my childish desire as impossible to be realized.
(13:06):
My father came to meet me at the enclosure door,
his eyes full of tears, and pressing me to his heart, exclaimed, ah,
here is my little queen. Then giving me his arm,
we made our solemn entry into the public chapel This
was his day of triumph, his last feast on earth.
Now his sacrifice was complete, and his children belonged to God. Footnote. Leone,
(13:29):
having entered in order too severe for her delicate health,
had been obliged to return home to her father. Later
she became a visitation nun at Kine and took the
name of Sister Francis Theresa En footnote. Celine had already
confided to him that later on she also wished to
leave the world for the carmel. On hearing this, he
(13:50):
was beside himself with joy. Let us go before the
blessed sacrament, he said, and thank God for all the
graces he has granted us, and the honor he has
paid me in choosing his spouses from my household. God
has indeed done me great honor in asking for my children.
If I possessed anything better, I would hasten to offer
it to him. That's something better was himself, and God
(14:14):
received him as a victim of Holocaust. He tried him
as gold in the furnace and found him worthy of himself.
Footnote cross reference Wisdom three, verses five and six, and footnote.
After the ceremony in the chapel, I re entered the convent,
and the bishop antone the te deum. One of the
(14:34):
priests observed to him that this hymn of Thanksgiving was
only sung at professions, but once begun it was continued
to the end. Was it not right that this feast
should be complete, since in it all other joyful days
were reunited? The instant I set foot in the enclosure again.
My eyes fell on the statue of the child Jesus,
smiling on me amid the flowers and lights. Then, turning
(14:57):
towards the quadrangle, I saw that, in spite of the
mildness of the weather, it was covered with snow. What
a delicate attention on the part of Jesus, gratifying the
least wish of his little spouse. He even sent her this,
Where is the creature so mighty that he can make
one flake of it fall? To Please's beloved? Every One
was amazed, and since then many people, hearing of my desire,
(15:20):
have described this event as the little miracle of my
clothing day, and thought it strange I should be so
fond of snow. So much the better it shows still
more the wonderful condescension of the spouse of virgins of
him who loves lilies white as the snow. After the
ceremony the bishop entered. He gave me many proofs of
his fatherly tenderness, and in the presence of all the priests,
(15:43):
spoke of my visit to bay You and the journey
to Rome. Nor did he forget to tell them how
I had put up my hair before visiting him. Then,
laying his hand on my head, he blessed me affectionately.
My mind dwelt with ineffable sweetness on the caresses our
Lord will soon lavish upon me before all the saints,
And this consoling thought was a foretaste of heaven. I
(16:07):
have just said that January tenth was a day of
triumph for my dear father. I liken it to the
feast of the entry of Christ into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday.
As in the case of our divine Master, his day
of triumph was followed by long days of sorrow. And
even as the agony of Jesus pierced the heart of
his divine Mother, so our hearts were deeply wounded by
(16:27):
the humiliations and sufferings of him whom we loved best
on earth. I remember that in the month of June
eighteen eighty eight, when we were fearing another stroke of paralysis,
I surprise our novice mistress by saying, I am suffering
a great deal, Mother, Yet I feel I can suffer
still more. I did not then foresee the trial awaiting us.
(16:48):
I did not know that, on February twelve, one month
after my clothing day, our beloved father would drink so
deeply of such a bitter chalice. I no longer said
I could suffer more. Words can express our grief, nor
shall I attempt to describe it. Here in heaven. We
shall enjoy dwelling on these dark days of exile. Yet
the three years of my father's martyrdom seemed to me
(17:10):
the sweetest and most fruitful of our lives. I would
not exchange them for the most sublime ecstasies. And my
heart cries out in gratitude for such a priceless treasure.
We have rejoiced for the days wherein thou hast afflicted
us Psalm eighty nine ninety verse fifteen. Precious and sweet
was this bitter cross, And our hearts only breathed out
(17:32):
sighs of grateful love. We no longer walked, we ran,
We flew along the path of perfection. Leone and Selene,
though living in the world, were no longer of the world.
The letters they wrote were full of the most edifying resignation.
And what talks I had with Celine, far from separating us,
the grating of the caramel, united us more closely. The
(17:54):
same thoughts, the same desires, the same love for our
Lord and for souls. May our very life. Not a
word concerning things of earth entered into our conversation. But
just as in former days we lifted longing eyes to Heaven,
so now our hearts strained after the joys beyond time
and space, and for the sake of an eternal happiness,
(18:15):
we chose to suffer and be despised here below. Though
my suffering seemed to have reached its height, yet my
attraction there too did not grow less, and soon my
soul shared in the trials my heart had to bear.
My spiritual aridity increased, and I found no comfort either
in Heaven or on earth. Yet amid these waters of
tribulation that I had so thirsted for, I was the
(18:38):
happiest of mortals. Thus passed the time of my betrothal
too long a time for me. At the end of
the year, you told me, dear mother, that I must
not yet think of my profession as our ecclesiastical superior,
expressly forbade it. I had therefore to wait for eight
months more. At first I found it very difficult to
be resigned to such a sacrifice, But a divine light
(19:00):
penetrated my soul before long. At this time I was
using for my meditation Surends Foundations of the Spiritual Life.
One day, during prayer, it was brought home to me
that my too eager desire to take my vows was
mingled with much self love. As I belonged to our
Lord and was his little plaything to console and please him.
It was for me to do his will, not for
(19:22):
him to do mine. I also understood that a bride
would not be pleasing to the bridegroom on her wedding
day were she not magnificently attired. But what had I
made already? So I said to Our Lord, I do
not ask thee to hasten the day of my profession.
I will wait as long as thou pleasest. Only I
cannot bear that, through any fault of mine, my union
(19:44):
with THEE should be delayed, I will set to work
and carefully prepare a wedding dress enriched with diamonds and
precious stones. And when thou findest it sufficiently rich, I
am sure that nothing will keep THEE from accepting me
as thy spouse. I took up the task with renewed zest.
Since my clothing day I had received abundant lights on
religious perfection, chiefly concerning the vow of poverty. Whilst I
(20:08):
was a postulant, I like to have nice things to use,
and to find everything needful ready at hand. Jesus bore
with me patiently, for he gives his light little by little.
At the beginning of my spiritual life, about the age
of fourteen, I used to ask myself how, in days
to come I should more clearly understand the true meaning
of perfection. I imagine I then understood it completely. But
(20:32):
I soon came to realize that the more want advances
along this path, the farther one seems from the goal.
And now I am resigned to be always imperfect, and
I even find joy therein to return to the lessons
which our Lord taught me. One evening after compline, I
searched in vain for our lamp on the shelves where
they are kept, and as it was the time of
(20:53):
the great silence, I could not recover it. I guessed
rightly that a sister, believing it to be her own,
had taken it. But just on that evening I had
counted much on doing some work, and was I to
spend a whole hour in the dark on account of
this mistake. Without the interior light of grace, I should
undoubtedly have pitied myself. But with that light I felt
(21:16):
happy instead of aggrieved, and reflected that poverty consists in
being deprived of not only what is convenient, but of
what is necessary. And in this exterior darkness I found
my soul illumined by a brightness that was divine. At
this time I was seized with a craving for whatever
was ugly and inconvenient, and was thus quite pleased when
(21:37):
a pretty little jug was taken from our cell and
a large, chipped one put in its place. I also
tried hard not to make excuses, but I found this
very difficult, especially with our mistress. From her I did
not like to hide anything. My first victory was not
a great one, but it cost me a great deal.
A small jar left behind a window was found broken.
(21:58):
No one knew who put it there, but our mistress
was displeased, and, thinking I was to blame in leaving
it about, told me I was very untidy and must
be more careful in future. Without answering, I kissed the
ground and promised to be more observant. I was so
little advanced in virtue that these small sacrifices cost me dear,
and I had to console myself with the thought that
(22:21):
at the day of judgment all would be known. Above all,
I endeavored to practice little, hidden acts of virtue. Thus
I took pleasure in folding the mantles forgotten by the sisters,
and sought for every possible occasion of helping them. One
of God's gifts was a great attraction towards penance, but
I was not permitted to satisfy it. The only mortification
(22:42):
allowed me consisted in mortifying my self love, and this
did me far more good than bodily penance would ever
have done. However, our lady helped me with my wedding dress,
and as soon as it was finished, every obstacle vanished,
and my profession was fixed For September eighth, eighteen ninety.
All that I have set down in these few words
would take many pages to relate, but those pages will
(23:05):
never be read on Earth. End of Chapter seven
Chapter seven of the Story of a Soul. This is
a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Anne Boulay, The Story of a Soul, the
autobiography of Saint Terrez of Le Sieux, translated by Thomas Taylor.
(00:24):
Chapter seven, The Little Flower Enters the Caramel. Monday, April ninth,
eighteen eighty eight, being the feast of the Annunciation transferred
from Passion Tide, was the day chosen for me to
enter the Caramel. On the evening before we were gathered
round the table where I was to take my place
for the last time. These farewells are in themselves heart rending,
(00:46):
and just when I would have liked to be forgotten,
I received the tenderest expressions of affection, as if to
increase the pain of parting. The next morning, after a
last look at the happy home of my childhood, I
set out for the carmel, where we are all heard mass.
At the moment of communion, when Jesus had entered our hearts,
I heard sobs on all sides. I did not shed
(01:08):
a tear, but As I led the way to the
cloister door, my heart beat so violently that I wondered
if I were going to die. Oh the agony of
that moment. One must have experienced it in order to understand.
I embraced all my dear ones and knelt for my
father's blessing. He too, knelt down and blessed me through
his tears. It was a sight to gladden the angels,
(01:30):
this old man giving his child to God while she
was yet in the springtime of life. At length, the
doors of the carmel closed upon me. I found a
welcome in your arms, dear mother, and received the embraces
of another family whose devotedness and love is not dreamt
of by the outside world. At last, my desires were realized,
and I cannot describe the deep, sweet peace which filled
(01:52):
my soul. This peace has remained with me during the
eight and a half years of my life here, and
has never left me, even amid the greatest trials. Everything
in the convent delighted me, especially our little cell. Footnote. Nuns,
in the spirit of poverty, avoid using the word my
as denoting private possessions, so later on our lamp, our
(02:15):
handkerchief will occur. Editor and footnote. I fancied myself transported
to the desert. I repeat that my happiness was calm
and peaceful. Not even the lightest breeze ruffled the tranquil
waters on which my little bark sailed. No cloud darkened
the blue sky. I felt fully recompensed for all I
had gone through, and I kept saying, now I am
(02:38):
here forever. Mine was no passing joy. It did not
fade light first illusions from illusions, God, in his mercy,
has ever preserved me. I found the religious life just
what I expected, and sacrifice was never a matter of surprise.
Yet you know well from the beginning my ways were
strewn with thorns rather than with roses. In the first place,
(03:00):
my soul had for its daily food the bread of
spiritual dryness. Then, too, dear Mother, our Lord allowed you
unconsciously to treat me very severely. You found fault with
me whenever you met me. I remember once I had
left a cobweb in the cloister, and you said to
me before the whole community, it is easy to see
that our cloisters are swept by a child of fifteen.
(03:22):
It is disgraceful. Go and sweep away that cobweb and
be more careful in the future. On the rare occasions
when I spent an hour with you for spiritual direction,
you seemed to be scolding me nearly all the time.
And what pained me most of all was that I
did not see how to correct my faults, for instance,
my slow ways and wants of thoroughness in my duties,
(03:43):
faults which you were careful to point out. One day,
it occurred to me that you would certainly prefer me
to spend my free time in work instead of in prayer,
as was my custom. So I plied my needle industriously
without even raising my eyes. No one ever knew of this,
as I wished to be faithful to our Lord and
do things solely for him to see. When I was
(04:04):
a postulant, our mistress used to send me every afternoon
at half past four to wead the garden. This was
a real penance, the more so, dear Mother, because I
was almost sure to meet you on the way, and
once you remarked, really, this child does absolutely nothing. What
are we to think of a novice who must have
a walk every day? And yet, dear Mother, how grateful
(04:26):
I am to you for giving me such a sound
and valuable training. It was an inestimable grace. What should
I have become if, as the outside world believed, I
had been but the pet of the community. Perhaps, instead
of seeing Our Lord in the person of my superiors,
I should only have considered the creature, and my heart,
which had been so carefully guarded in the world, would
(04:48):
have been ensnared by human affection in the cloister. Happily,
your motherly prudence saved me from such disaster, and not
only in this matter, but in other and more bitter trials.
I can truly say that Suffering opened her arms to
me from the first, and I took her to my heart.
In the solemn examination before my profession, I declared, as
(05:09):
was customary, the reason of my entry into the Carmel,
I have come to save souls, and especially to pray
for priests. One cannot attain the end without adopting the means,
And as Our Lord made me understand that it was
by the cross he would give me souls. The more
crosses I met with, the stronger grew my attraction to suffering.
For five years, this way was mine, but I alone
(05:32):
knew it This was precisely the flower I wished to
offer to Jesus, a hidden flower which keeps his perfume
only for heaven. Two months after my entry, Father Pichon
was surprised at the workings of grace in my soul.
He thought my piety childlike and my path an easy one.
My conversation with this good Father would have brought me
great comfort had it not been for the extreme difficulty
(05:55):
I found in opening my heart. Nevertheless, I made a
general confession, and after he said to me, before God,
the Blessed Virgin, and Angels and all the saints, I
declare that you have never committed a mortal sin. Thank
God for the favors he has so freely bestowed on you,
without any merit on your part, without any merit on
(06:15):
my part. That was not difficult to believe. Fully, conscious
of my weakness and imperfection, my heart overflowed with gratitude.
I had distressed myself fearing I might have stained my
baptismal robe. And this assurance, coming as it did from
the lips of a director, a man of wisdom and holiness,
such as our mother Saint Theresa desired, seemed to come
(06:36):
from God. Himself. Father Pochon added, may our Lord always
be your superior and your novice master. And indeed he
ever was, and likewise my director. In saying this, I
do not mean to imply that I was not communicative
with my superiors. Far from being reserved, I always tried
to be as an open book. Our mistress was a
(06:58):
true saint, the perfect type of the first Carmelites, and
I seldom left her side, for she had to teach
me how to work. Her kindness was beyond words. I
loved and appreciated her, and yet my soul did not
expand I could not explain myself. Words failed me, and
so the time a spiritual direction became a veritable martyrdom.
One of the older nuns seemed to understand what I felt,
(07:20):
for once she said to me during recreation, I should think, child,
you have not much to tell your superiors. Why do
you think that, dear mother, I asked, because your soul
is very simple, but when you are perfect, you will
become more simple. Still, the nearer one approaches God, the
simpler one becomes. This good mother was right. Nevertheless, the
(07:43):
great difficulty I found in opening my heart, though it
came from simplicity was a genuine trial. Now, however, without
having lost my simplicity, I am able to express my
thoughts with the greatest ease. I have already said that
our Lord himself had acted as my spiritual guide. Hardly
had Father Poucham become my director. When his superiors sent
(08:04):
him to Canada, I was only able to hear from
him once a year. So now the little flower, which
had been transplanted to the mountain of Carmel, quickly turned
to the Director of directors and unfolded itself under the
shadow of his cross, having for refreshing dew, his tears,
his precious blood, and for radiant son, his adorable face.
(08:25):
Until then I had not appreciated the beauties of the
holy face. It was my dear mother, Agnes of Jesus
who unveiled them to me. As she had been the
first of her sisters to enter the Carmel, so she
was the first to penetrate the mysteries of love hidden
in the face of our divine spouse. Then she showed
them to me, and I understood better than ever in
(08:45):
what true glory consists he whose kingdom is not of
this world. John eighteen, verse thirty six taught me that
the only royalty to be coveted lies in being unknown
and esteemed as not imitation of Christ Book one, two three,
and in the joy of self abasement. And I wish
(09:06):
that my face, like the face of Jesus, should be
as it were, hidden and despised Isaiah fifty three, verse three,
so that no one on earth should esteem me. I
thirsted to suffer and to be forgotten. Most merciful has
been the way by which the Divine Master has ever
led me. He has never inspired me with any desire
(09:27):
and left it unsatisfied, And that is why I have
always found his bitter chalice full of sweetness. At the
end of May, Marie, our eldest, was professed and terres
the Benjamin had the privilege of crowning her with roses
on the day of her mystical espousals. After this happy feast,
trials again came upon us. Ever since his first attack
(09:49):
of paralysis, we realized that my father was very easily tired.
During our journey to Rome, I often noticed that he
seemed exhausted and in pain. But above all I remark
his progress in the path of holiness. He had succeeded
in obtaining a complete mastery over the impetuosity of his
natural disposition, and earthly things were unable to ruffle his calm.
(10:11):
Let me give you an instance. During our pilgrimage, we
were in the train for days and nights together, and
to while away the time, our companions played cards and
occasionally grew very noisy. One day they asked us to
join them, but we refused, saying we knew little about
the game. We did not find the time long, only
too short, indeed to enjoy the beautiful views which opened
(10:34):
before us. Presently, their annoyance became evident, and then dear
Papa began quietly to defend us, pointing out that as
we were on pilgrimage, more of our time might be
given to prayer. One of the players forgetting the respect
due to age, called out thoughtlessly, thank God, pharisees are rare.
My father did not answer a word. He even seemed pleased,
(10:56):
and later on he found an opportunity of shaking hands
with the man, and of speaking so pleasantly that the
latter must have thought his rude words had either not
been heard, or at least were forgotten. His habit of
forgiveness did not date from this day. My mother and
all who knew him bore witness that no uncharitable word
ever passed his lips. His faith and generosity were likewise
(11:18):
equal to any trial. This is how he announced my
departure to one of his friends, Terres, My little queen
entered the carmel yesterday. God alone could ask such a sacrifice.
But he helps me so mightily that even in the
midst of tears, my heart is overflowing with joy. This
faithful servant must needs receive a reward worthy of his virtues,
(11:39):
and he himself claimed that reward. You remember the interview
when he said to us children, I have just come
back from Alan Shan, and there in the church of
Notre Dame I received such graces and consolations that I
made this prayer. My God, it is too much. Yes,
I am too happy. I shall not get to Heaven
like this. I wish to suffer something for THEE, and
(12:01):
I offered myself as a The word victim died on
his lips. He dared not pronounce it before us, but
we understood. You know, dear mother, the story of our trial.
I need not recall it sorrowful details. And now my
clothing day drew near. Contrary to all expectations, my father
had recovered from a second attack, and the bishop fixed
(12:23):
the ceremony for January tenth. The time of waiting had
been long, indeed, but now what a beautiful feast. Nothing
was wanting, not even snow. Do you remember my telling you,
dear mother, how fond I am of snow while I
was still quite small. Its whiteness entranced me. Why had
I such a fancy for snow? Perhaps it was because,
(12:44):
being a little winter flower, my eyes first saw the
earth clad in its beautiful white mantle. So on my
clothing day I wished to see a decked like myself
in spotless white. The weather was so mild it might
have been spring, and I no longer dared hope for snow.
The morning of the feast brought no change, and I
gave up my childish desire as impossible to be realized.
(13:06):
My father came to meet me at the enclosure door,
his eyes full of tears, and pressing me to his heart, exclaimed, ah,
here is my little queen. Then giving me his arm,
we made our solemn entry into the public chapel This
was his day of triumph, his last feast on earth.
Now his sacrifice was complete, and his children belonged to God. Footnote. Leone,
(13:29):
having entered in order too severe for her delicate health,
had been obliged to return home to her father. Later
she became a visitation nun at Kine and took the
name of Sister Francis Theresa En footnote. Celine had already
confided to him that later on she also wished to
leave the world for the carmel. On hearing this, he
(13:50):
was beside himself with joy. Let us go before the
blessed sacrament, he said, and thank God for all the
graces he has granted us, and the honor he has
paid me in choosing his spouses from my household. God
has indeed done me great honor in asking for my children.
If I possessed anything better, I would hasten to offer
it to him. That's something better was himself, and God
(14:14):
received him as a victim of Holocaust. He tried him
as gold in the furnace and found him worthy of himself.
Footnote cross reference Wisdom three, verses five and six, and footnote.
After the ceremony in the chapel, I re entered the convent,
and the bishop antone the te deum. One of the
(14:34):
priests observed to him that this hymn of Thanksgiving was
only sung at professions, but once begun it was continued
to the end. Was it not right that this feast
should be complete, since in it all other joyful days
were reunited? The instant I set foot in the enclosure again.
My eyes fell on the statue of the child Jesus,
smiling on me amid the flowers and lights. Then, turning
(14:57):
towards the quadrangle, I saw that, in spite of the
mildness of the weather, it was covered with snow. What
a delicate attention on the part of Jesus, gratifying the
least wish of his little spouse. He even sent her this,
Where is the creature so mighty that he can make
one flake of it fall? To Please's beloved? Every One
was amazed, and since then many people, hearing of my desire,
(15:20):
have described this event as the little miracle of my
clothing day, and thought it strange I should be so
fond of snow. So much the better it shows still
more the wonderful condescension of the spouse of virgins of
him who loves lilies white as the snow. After the
ceremony the bishop entered. He gave me many proofs of
his fatherly tenderness, and in the presence of all the priests,
(15:43):
spoke of my visit to bay You and the journey
to Rome. Nor did he forget to tell them how
I had put up my hair before visiting him. Then,
laying his hand on my head, he blessed me affectionately.
My mind dwelt with ineffable sweetness on the caresses our
Lord will soon lavish upon me before all the saints,
And this consoling thought was a foretaste of heaven. I
(16:07):
have just said that January tenth was a day of
triumph for my dear father. I liken it to the
feast of the entry of Christ into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday.
As in the case of our divine Master, his day
of triumph was followed by long days of sorrow. And
even as the agony of Jesus pierced the heart of
his divine Mother, so our hearts were deeply wounded by
(16:27):
the humiliations and sufferings of him whom we loved best
on earth. I remember that in the month of June
eighteen eighty eight, when we were fearing another stroke of paralysis,
I surprise our novice mistress by saying, I am suffering
a great deal, Mother, Yet I feel I can suffer
still more. I did not then foresee the trial awaiting us.
(16:48):
I did not know that, on February twelve, one month
after my clothing day, our beloved father would drink so
deeply of such a bitter chalice. I no longer said
I could suffer more. Words can express our grief, nor
shall I attempt to describe it. Here in heaven. We
shall enjoy dwelling on these dark days of exile. Yet
the three years of my father's martyrdom seemed to me
(17:10):
the sweetest and most fruitful of our lives. I would
not exchange them for the most sublime ecstasies. And my
heart cries out in gratitude for such a priceless treasure.
We have rejoiced for the days wherein thou hast afflicted
us Psalm eighty nine ninety verse fifteen. Precious and sweet
was this bitter cross, And our hearts only breathed out
(17:32):
sighs of grateful love. We no longer walked, we ran,
We flew along the path of perfection. Leone and Selene,
though living in the world, were no longer of the world.
The letters they wrote were full of the most edifying resignation.
And what talks I had with Celine, far from separating us,
the grating of the caramel, united us more closely. The
(17:54):
same thoughts, the same desires, the same love for our
Lord and for souls. May our very life. Not a
word concerning things of earth entered into our conversation. But
just as in former days we lifted longing eyes to Heaven,
so now our hearts strained after the joys beyond time
and space, and for the sake of an eternal happiness,
(18:15):
we chose to suffer and be despised here below. Though
my suffering seemed to have reached its height, yet my
attraction there too did not grow less, and soon my
soul shared in the trials my heart had to bear.
My spiritual aridity increased, and I found no comfort either
in Heaven or on earth. Yet amid these waters of
tribulation that I had so thirsted for, I was the
(18:38):
happiest of mortals. Thus passed the time of my betrothal
too long a time for me. At the end of
the year, you told me, dear mother, that I must
not yet think of my profession as our ecclesiastical superior,
expressly forbade it. I had therefore to wait for eight
months more. At first I found it very difficult to
be resigned to such a sacrifice, But a divine light
(19:00):
penetrated my soul before long. At this time I was
using for my meditation Surends Foundations of the Spiritual Life.
One day, during prayer, it was brought home to me
that my too eager desire to take my vows was
mingled with much self love. As I belonged to our
Lord and was his little plaything to console and please him.
It was for me to do his will, not for
(19:22):
him to do mine. I also understood that a bride
would not be pleasing to the bridegroom on her wedding
day were she not magnificently attired. But what had I
made already? So I said to Our Lord, I do
not ask thee to hasten the day of my profession.
I will wait as long as thou pleasest. Only I
cannot bear that, through any fault of mine, my union
(19:44):
with THEE should be delayed, I will set to work
and carefully prepare a wedding dress enriched with diamonds and
precious stones. And when thou findest it sufficiently rich, I
am sure that nothing will keep THEE from accepting me
as thy spouse. I took up the task with renewed zest.
Since my clothing day I had received abundant lights on
religious perfection, chiefly concerning the vow of poverty. Whilst I
(20:08):
was a postulant, I like to have nice things to use,
and to find everything needful ready at hand. Jesus bore
with me patiently, for he gives his light little by little.
At the beginning of my spiritual life, about the age
of fourteen, I used to ask myself how, in days
to come I should more clearly understand the true meaning
of perfection. I imagine I then understood it completely. But
(20:32):
I soon came to realize that the more want advances
along this path, the farther one seems from the goal.
And now I am resigned to be always imperfect, and
I even find joy therein to return to the lessons
which our Lord taught me. One evening after compline, I
searched in vain for our lamp on the shelves where
they are kept, and as it was the time of
(20:53):
the great silence, I could not recover it. I guessed
rightly that a sister, believing it to be her own,
had taken it. But just on that evening I had
counted much on doing some work, and was I to
spend a whole hour in the dark on account of
this mistake. Without the interior light of grace, I should
undoubtedly have pitied myself. But with that light I felt
(21:16):
happy instead of aggrieved, and reflected that poverty consists in
being deprived of not only what is convenient, but of
what is necessary. And in this exterior darkness I found
my soul illumined by a brightness that was divine. At
this time I was seized with a craving for whatever
was ugly and inconvenient, and was thus quite pleased when
(21:37):
a pretty little jug was taken from our cell and
a large, chipped one put in its place. I also
tried hard not to make excuses, but I found this
very difficult, especially with our mistress. From her I did
not like to hide anything. My first victory was not
a great one, but it cost me a great deal.
A small jar left behind a window was found broken.
(21:58):
No one knew who put it there, but our mistress
was displeased, and, thinking I was to blame in leaving
it about, told me I was very untidy and must
be more careful in future. Without answering, I kissed the
ground and promised to be more observant. I was so
little advanced in virtue that these small sacrifices cost me dear,
and I had to console myself with the thought that
(22:21):
at the day of judgment all would be known. Above all,
I endeavored to practice little, hidden acts of virtue. Thus
I took pleasure in folding the mantles forgotten by the sisters,
and sought for every possible occasion of helping them. One
of God's gifts was a great attraction towards penance, but
I was not permitted to satisfy it. The only mortification
(22:42):
allowed me consisted in mortifying my self love, and this
did me far more good than bodily penance would ever
have done. However, our lady helped me with my wedding dress,
and as soon as it was finished, every obstacle vanished,
and my profession was fixed For September eighth, eighteen ninety.
All that I have set down in these few words
would take many pages to relate, but those pages will
(23:05):
never be read on Earth. End of Chapter seven
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