The Paradox of Purpose: Why Nothing Matters And Everything Does

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Today we're going to talk about why absolutely nothing matters
at all for any reason, and if you live to
be thirty, you probably have twenty or fifty reasons to
commit suicide. Really, but that's why everything matters. Everything do matters.

(00:21):
Who you decide you're going to be, matters. It all
matters so much so relax and settle in and listen
up because your stress therapy session is about to begin.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Right now, Hey beautiful people, it's time for some Stress Therapy,
a podcast about how to meditate and get better at

(00:56):
stress for.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
People living in the real world. Finally a place to
park my twenty five plus years of experience of working
as a psychotherapist in the mental health field, and now
your host me the stress therapist Cherry Flake.

Speaker 1 (01:23):

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Today we're going to talk about why absolutely nothing matters
at all for any reason, and if you live to
be thirty, you probably have twenty or fifty reasons to
commit suicide. Really, but that's why everything matters. Everything you do, matters,

(01:45):
who you decide you're going to be matters. It all
matters so much so relax and settle in and listen
up because your stress therapy session is about to begin
right now, Hey, beautiful people, I'm the stress therapist and
it's time for some stress therapy. Yes, I teach people

(02:09):
how to get better at stress, stop procrastinating, and stay
motivated while we work on healthy habits like meditation and
happy living. So expect stress tips. Lots of ways on
how to get meditation into your life for real and
for good, a little bit of science, a little bit
of wo and a big sense of humor. You deserve this,

(02:31):
believe me. It's time so relax and settle in and
listen up because your stress therapy session is box begin
right now.

Speaker 1 (02:56):

Speaker 2 (02:58):
What's up? Okay, So today it's super rainy and that's
why my hair looks terrible. Who cares? Who really cares?
In the grand scheme of things? Does it really matter?
And I think sometimes we use this in ways that
doesn't help at all. And sometimes we use this expression
or this idea and ways that help a lot. Like

(03:19):
if you tell me when I have a hangnail that
you know someone else doesn't have a finger. I don't
think that necessarily helps. That never makes me feel better.
It's kind of like when people say, do you ever
hear people say this if it makes you feel any better,
and then they launch into a story where they were,
you know, more down and out than you are right now. Now.

(03:40):
I don't know about you, but that never makes me
feel better. Why would someone else's misfortune make me feel better?
But anyway, i'd diegrass baby, I do. Because here's the thing.
It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things
what goes down in your life. So that means that

(04:02):
it all matters. What am I talking about? First of all?
Pick up the book four thousand Weeks. This guy is
a New York Times writer who was writing this productivity
column and have this epiphany that emptying out his email,
which never works, by the way, because as soon as
you clear the decks, it's all right back there again
in like five minutes. Right, So it's never really done.

(04:24):
And that we're all spending all kinds of times trying
to get things done for what for who? Like? So
our worth is connected to our productivity? Hell, no, no way, man,
That as lame as it could be. And he's thinking,
you know, all the books says I shouldn't let my
baby fall asleep on my chest because it could affect

(04:44):
her ability to sleep later. What have you ever had
a baby fall asleep on your chest? It's amazing. Why
are we listening to what other people tell us it's
important to accomplish, do or be in our lives for
one second. I mean, I was watching the Olympic the
other day with my family, and of course the only
thing I want to watch is gymnastus because I was
super into gymnastics when I was little.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
And I'm sitting.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
There with my daughter and my husband of almost twenty years,
almost twenty years. I know, can you believe that this
November twenty years baby? And I say yeah, because I
was so into gymnastics. And They're like, when were you
into gymnastics? And I'm like what, and they're like, yeah,
we never knew that you were into gymnastics. I'm like,

(05:28):
are you kidding me? I mean I was amazing. Okay,
level of difficulty, it's no Simon vials, I get it,
but I was still like getting like eight point two
on the beam I once got. I think I got
like I placed somewhere on vault in the state. I mean,
I was killing it, but I had to make a decision.
Was I gonna be like a choral airhead, which is
my friend Me and Megan Larioli used to call us

(05:49):
choral airheads that were really into theater and really into choir.
Or was I gonna go the gymnastics route. I had
to choose one, right, but it came very naturally to me.
I absolutely love. It was super duper fun. I'm super short.
But again, who cares? Who cares? Because then I called
my mom and said, can you believe that my husband

(06:10):
and my daughter don't even know that I was into
gymnastics And she's like, what gymnastics? I didn't know you
were into gymnastics, And I'm like, what, I did it
for like two years. Then I hear my dad in
the background say something like, yeah, I was at all
your meats, like laughing and joking around as if I'm
making it up. My point is, people, My point is
for two years I was super into the sport, and
no one remembers. Nobody. Okay, it didn't make one difference

(06:36):
except to me. It made a difference to me, and
that's where the difference is. It's for you in a
couple of generations. I'm sorry, but no one's probably gonna
know you even walked down this earth so who are
you gonna be? Rather than see this as an excuse

(06:56):
to be depressed and down, see it as an opportunity
to be whoever you are. You only got four thousand
weeks on this planet. Man side note, that's the point
of his book. But if you only have that kind
of time, what matters. It's gonna be that baby sleeping
on your chest. It's gonna be that feeling of saluting
to the judges before you run towards the vault and

(07:18):
do something super fun. What are you gonna do? Who
are you gonna be? Because the only thing it matters,
really too, is you in the long run, because you're
gonna be gone. And what kind of life do you
want to live? Do you want to be worried about
what's done? I mean today I was in like a
frenzy because I could figure out the stupid forms for

(07:40):
high school. I'm a terrible form filler outer. That's why
I married a professional form filler outer. And I was
going nuts and crazy and getting out of my mind.
And then all of a sudden, I was like, oh
my god, if I can't fill out this form, well,
first I have to give some credit to my boy
Owen he writes to me after this text of Oh
my gosh, panicking, I don't have your student number. I
can't figure out this. I need this. You gotta fill

(08:00):
out this form. You need to sign this. I need this.
I need to have all these things signed it. I
can't figure them out. We're late whatever. My boy writes back, simple,
it ain't that deep, mom. It doesn't matter if you
fill it out. We can figure it out tomorrow at
the open house. He's right. Do not tell him that

(08:20):
I said so, but he is right. It's not that deep, man.
Stop taking yourself so seriously and make your life what
you want it to be. Do what you want to do.
I mean, I was at an Olivia Rodrigal concert last week.
Mark my words. Sixty seventy years from now, she's still
gonna be a gigantic star. She's an amazing songwriter, she's

(08:41):
an amazing musician. Lyrics delightful, okay, and her producers are
really good. It sounds really good, and she's kicking ass.
My daughter told me that she's number fifty two in
musicians on Spotify rated as important artists or who people
want to see or I don't even know. Let's say
that that's true.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Who can.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Her parents herself? I hear she has a British boyfriend.
He probably cares. I don't know how much I care.
It was lovely to see her in concert. But if
we were going to male aliens the most successful people
that represent the planet Earth, We're not gonna probably make

(09:22):
that list. I mean, I don't even know if Tchaikowsky
would make that list. I love that guy. Okay, I'm
saying really chopin if I had to say, But like, still, like,
who's gonna make that list? Shakespeare? Maybe? Maybe not the
most influential people in the world. Like, is that who
you want to be? Be? Who you are? Get quiet

(09:45):
enough to be able to listen well enough to hear
who that could be? Because it's perfect and amazing and
precious and wonderful and all of the beautiful things. That
is the truth about every single one of us. It's true,
whether you want to believe it or not, So you

(10:06):
might as well pretend it's true, just to make your
life a little bit better, a lot better, because no
one's gonna remember this except for you. Really, really, who
are you gonna be knowing that? Even when you think

(10:26):
about the best books four thousand Weeks Life Changer. Would
that make the list? Probably not the Alchemist best book
I think ever ever? Love the message, the message is amazing.
Probably wouldn't make that list. Autobiography of Yogi. If you
never read another book again, pick that one up. But still,

(10:48):
the reason why those books are good is because the
authors did what called them to the ben Don't do
it for the reader, don't do it for the likes.
Don't do it for your neighbor or your best friend
or your parents, spouser, kid. Only do it for you
and see what happens. I think it's kind of funny
that no one remembers I was in gymnastics. In fact,

(11:09):
my mom even said I thought that was Lisa, my sister.
I thought that was kind of funny, but it might
have really hurt me if I would have been doing
it for her. Right, clearly, I was just doing it
for me, and my mom was amazing at this when
I was little, by the way she would be like
sitting there on the bench with me at the softball

(11:30):
game where I made the team every year, it sat
on the bench and never played. And then when they
finally put me in when we were winning really well,
because I was terrible. I was so nervous. I couldn't perform,
I could do anything right. And my mom sat with
me when she said, no, you're really really a good singer.

(11:51):
What brings you the most joy? I know that you
love this, But usually usually when people love something, they're
good at it, right, they find that they're good at it.
And if you love something and you're not that good
at it, maybe you need to open that net a
little bit wider. But decide who are you going to be?

(12:11):
Who do you want to be? Because it only matters
to you. You are playing a long game here. Man,
It's not short, but it's very short, and none of
us get out of here alive. So who you going
to be? Who are you going to be? And a
gymnast was not who I was gonna be? Okay, I
think it was a podcast host? Right? What makes your

(12:37):
heart really really sing? And I think once we get
quiet enough, it begins to be really easy. What you want?
I do think people know what they want. They say
they don't know what they want, but they're sure as
how good at talking about what they don't want. So
if you know what you don't want, go back to kindergarten,

(12:58):
Write down, I don't want and then what would that mean?
Over on the other side of the paper, that means
I want. I don't want to eat meat. I want
to be a vegetarian. I don't want to be struggling

(13:20):
walking up the stairs. I want to be a runner.
What is it? Sit there, figure it out. But the
quieter you get, the louder your true self speaks. So
let's take a little break, take a little moment, and
meditate together. Now, okay, so take a long, slow, deep

(13:43):
breath in your nose, Let it all go out of
your mouth. Take another, long, slow, deep breath in your nose,
let it all go out of your mouth. And just

(14:10):
watch your breath as it breathes in you, as it
breathes out of you. And I want you to find

(14:32):
something in your environment. And maybe it's the music of
the sonic yogi that's playing. Maybe it's the sound of
an air conditioner or heater. I can actually hear crickets

(14:56):
in my backyard, so I'm going to go with that.
But find a sound in your environment, the clock ticking,
a fan going, and put all of your attention on it.

(15:26):
Allow your brain to be idle, to be bored with
this one sound. Whatever you pick, stay with it, and

(16:10):
now come all the way inward. Come to your heart center,
watching your breath come and go, and without changing your
breath with laser focus on your heart center and with

(16:40):
your awareness there, just watching the breath come, watching the
breath go. Just ask yourself, who am I? Who am I?

(17:28):
Who am I? Allow whatever answers to bubble up, Allow
whatever answers that bubble up, rather than searching, looking, just

(18:01):
sitting and allowing who am I? Allow the question to

(18:25):
fall away from your awareness, and now ask yourself what
do I want? What do I truly want? What is

(18:57):
my heart's desire? Allow the question to fall away from

(19:36):
your awareness, and then begin asking yourself what brings me joy?

(19:57):
What lights me up? What brings me joy? What lights
me up? Without getting into the house of how anything

(20:23):
might go down, or how you might do or be
or try something, Just stick with what comes into your
awareness when you ask yourself what brings me the most joy?

(20:51):
Leaving all the rest to the universe to figure out,

(21:16):
and releasing these sacred questions into the ether. Come back
to your heart center. Perhaps bring your fingertips to your
heart center. Feel the love and your fingertips as your

(21:44):
breath passes through, reminding yourself where love resides, incoming love,
outgoing love. Take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose,

(22:23):
let it all go out of your mouth. And another long, slow,
deep breath in your nose, letting it all go out
of your mouth. And one last breath in your nose,

(22:49):
letting it all go out of your mouth. And when
you're ready, you can open your beautiful eyes. I hope
this message today resonates with you a little bit at least,

(23:10):
you know. The idea is, we're only here for a
short time. We need to make it count. And rather
than use guilt and shame, like you know, if this
was your last day, you know what if that was
the last thing you said, You know, how can you
look at your day like all of our days are
numbered and we don't know what that number is. Man,

(23:32):
So you got to live your best life. And the
only person that can answer that question of what kind
of life that would be, it's you. It's all you.
And I don't believe people when they say that they
can't do this, or they can't do that, or because
of this or because of that. I don't believe them,

(23:54):
because it wouldn't bother you, it wouldn't dawn on you,
it wouldn't be in your mind. I be in your imagination.
You wouldn't think about it all the time. If it
wasn't already a part of who you are, be bold,
go for it. You got this, and until until next time,

(24:15):
have a lovely, lovely day. How y'all feeling after that
stress therapy session? Good? Awesome? Check out the show notes
to connect with me the Stress Therapist on social media
at the stress Therapist on Instagram and at stress Therapy
on Twitter. You can always go to I lovethapy dot

(24:35):
com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and
other offerings that I have there. If you live in
Georgia and you're ready to be one of my clients,
go to my website to find out how you can
sign up for a free face to face consultation with
me at the very least, jump by my mailer so
you don't stress or this one thing. Until next time,
have a lovely, lovely day,

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