March 25, 2025 • 25 mins
In this heartfelt and humor-filled episode, The Stress Therapist dives deep into the concept of living as your authentic self. Through personal stories, client examples, and some unexpected Bachelor commentary, she explores what it really means to be yourself, why it matters for your happiness and connection with others, and how being fake can actually block you from true love and belonging. The episode closes with a meditation on the sacred sound Om, guiding listeners into stillness and self-acceptance.
~Authenticity is magnetic. When you show up as your real self—quirks, passions, weirdness and all—you attract the right people and create true connection.
~Faking it is exhausting and unsustainable. Pretending to be someone you’re not might win temporary approval, but it never leads to lasting love or fulfillment.
~Your gifts are part of your karmic path. Embracing your interests and natural tendencies is not only freeing but also aligned with your purpose.
~Meditation Music byhttp://sonicyogi.com
https://open.spotify.com/track/7lpLx4vtoQusvoqidRY6vN?si=0db8efd9082c40ebhttps://open.spotify.com/track/0Qotx90teY3iZ00PgUCwty?si=44a1c18c52e24e1f
Listen to Sonic Yogi on: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2xJT8mRbrqa7rTY6d4y5Fq?si=q2YYpPSzQOmu4R8-W4jkpw https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sonic-yogi/722350162https://amazon.com/music/player/artists/B00FQMVVIC/sonic-yogi?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_Y5q68A8LSQQGzl01PQC7Uaw6chttps://youtu.be/p2jtMEkdh6g?si=rVq-Q8o85mI75S4_
INTERESTING MENTIONS:
Shout-out to Jackie (her sister-in-law) for the Bachelor franchise t-shirt and for taking her to a Bachelor Live event.
The Bachelor (current season with Grant) – used to explore themes of love, hope, and being chosen.
Client story about pretending to like fishing to connect—a metaphor for the struggle with authenticity.
Jen the Animal Lover – a sweet story of someone unapologetically themselves (catios, pet mouse surgery, pool ladders for critters!).
Violet (her daughter) – praised for her early wisdom in not forcing friendships and understanding mutual dislike doesn’t need to be dramatic.
https://www.heartwood-retreats.com : location for Cheri’s Georgia Mountain Retreatshttps://www.jekyllisland.com: Location for Cheri’s seaside retreat
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist and Author
Join Cheri Flake on her Next Meditation And Yoga Retreat!https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/or https://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/
Love the show? Please rate and review us!
Send some love bucks to the show:Paypal: cheri@thestresstherapist.comVenmo: @cheri-flakeThank you!
https://thestresstherapist.com/contact/ and be a part of the Stress Therapy Community!
Twitter: @stresstherapy Instagram: @thestresstherapist https://www.facebook.com/cheriaugustineflake https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheri-augustine-flake-719b044 https://thestresstherapist.com/ https://www.youtube.com/user/thestresstherapist
Join Cheri Flake on herhttps://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/ https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/ in the gorgeous Georgia Mountains and walk away with a new, solid daily meditation practice with benefits that last a lifetime!ORhttps://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/ on Jekyll Island seaside right off the coast of Georgia.
Want Cheri Flake to be your therapist? If you live in Georgia gohttps://thestresstherapist.com/contact/ to schedule a free 15 minute consultation
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15903117.Cheri_Augustine_Flake
https://www.amazon.com/Honey-DONE-Productive-Household-Absolutely/dp/0997950919/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8: Honey Do To Honey DONE! A Simple System For A Productive And Happy Household With Absolutely No More Nagging!
A word from your host, Cheri Flake, LCSW: Feeling good after our Stress Therapy session? Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, The Stress Therapist on social media or go tohttp://www.ilovetherapy.com/ to find out about meditation classes & meditation and yoga retreats.TRANSCRIPT:Hey, beautiful people today, we're going to talk about why absolutely nothing matters at all for any reason. And if you live to be 30, you probably have 20 or 50 reasons to commit suicide. Really. But, , that's why everything matters. Everything you do matters who you decide you're going to be matters. It all matters so much.So relax. And settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now.Hey, beautiful people. I'm the stress therapist and it's time for some stress therapy.Yes. I teach people how to get better at stress. Stop procrastinating, stay motivated while we work on healthy habits, like meditation and happy living. So expect stress tips, lots of ways on how to get meditation into your life for real. An
~Authenticity is magnetic. When you show up as your real self—quirks, passions, weirdness and all—you attract the right people and create true connection.
~Faking it is exhausting and unsustainable. Pretending to be someone you’re not might win temporary approval, but it never leads to lasting love or fulfillment.
~Your gifts are part of your karmic path. Embracing your interests and natural tendencies is not only freeing but also aligned with your purpose.
~Meditation Music byhttp://sonicyogi.com
https://open.spotify.com/track/7lpLx4vtoQusvoqidRY6vN?si=0db8efd9082c40ebhttps://open.spotify.com/track/0Qotx90teY3iZ00PgUCwty?si=44a1c18c52e24e1f
Listen to Sonic Yogi on: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2xJT8mRbrqa7rTY6d4y5Fq?si=q2YYpPSzQOmu4R8-W4jkpw https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sonic-yogi/722350162https://amazon.com/music/player/artists/B00FQMVVIC/sonic-yogi?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_Y5q68A8LSQQGzl01PQC7Uaw6chttps://youtu.be/p2jtMEkdh6g?si=rVq-Q8o85mI75S4_
INTERESTING MENTIONS:
Shout-out to Jackie (her sister-in-law) for the Bachelor franchise t-shirt and for taking her to a Bachelor Live event.
The Bachelor (current season with Grant) – used to explore themes of love, hope, and being chosen.
Client story about pretending to like fishing to connect—a metaphor for the struggle with authenticity.
Jen the Animal Lover – a sweet story of someone unapologetically themselves (catios, pet mouse surgery, pool ladders for critters!).
Violet (her daughter) – praised for her early wisdom in not forcing friendships and understanding mutual dislike doesn’t need to be dramatic.
https://www.heartwood-retreats.com : location for Cheri’s Georgia Mountain Retreatshttps://www.jekyllisland.com: Location for Cheri’s seaside retreat
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist and Author
Join Cheri Flake on her Next Meditation And Yoga Retreat!https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/or https://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/
Love the show? Please rate and review us!
Send some love bucks to the show:Paypal: cheri@thestresstherapist.comVenmo: @cheri-flakeThank you!
https://thestresstherapist.com/contact/ and be a part of the Stress Therapy Community!
Twitter: @stresstherapy Instagram: @thestresstherapist https://www.facebook.com/cheriaugustineflake https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheri-augustine-flake-719b044 https://thestresstherapist.com/ https://www.youtube.com/user/thestresstherapist
Join Cheri Flake on herhttps://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/ https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/ in the gorgeous Georgia Mountains and walk away with a new, solid daily meditation practice with benefits that last a lifetime!ORhttps://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/ on Jekyll Island seaside right off the coast of Georgia.
Want Cheri Flake to be your therapist? If you live in Georgia gohttps://thestresstherapist.com/contact/ to schedule a free 15 minute consultation
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15903117.Cheri_Augustine_Flake
https://www.amazon.com/Honey-DONE-Productive-Household-Absolutely/dp/0997950919/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8: Honey Do To Honey DONE! A Simple System For A Productive And Happy Household With Absolutely No More Nagging!
A word from your host, Cheri Flake, LCSW: Feeling good after our Stress Therapy session? Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, The Stress Therapist on social media or go tohttp://www.ilovetherapy.com/ to find out about meditation classes & meditation and yoga retreats.TRANSCRIPT:Hey, beautiful people today, we're going to talk about why absolutely nothing matters at all for any reason. And if you live to be 30, you probably have 20 or 50 reasons to commit suicide. Really. But, , that's why everything matters. Everything you do matters who you decide you're going to be matters. It all matters so much.So relax. And settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now.Hey, beautiful people. I'm the stress therapist and it's time for some stress therapy.Yes. I teach people how to get better at stress. Stop procrastinating, stay motivated while we work on healthy habits, like meditation and happy living. So expect stress tips, lots of ways on how to get meditation into your life for real. An
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people, what's up? Okay? Today we're going to
talk about being your authentic self and not only what
that means because it's so vague and everyone's just throwing
it around, right, but like how to do it and
why it's so important because you're only going to win
when you're you. You can only win, it's the only way.
So relax and settle in and listen up because your
(00:21):
stress therapy session is about to begin right now, and
I'll explain their shirt in a minute, of course, you're
all my friends. Hey, beautiful people, It's time for some
(00:45):
stress therapy, a podcast about how to meditate and get
better at stress for people living in the real world.
Finally a place to park my twenty five plus years
of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental
health field. And now your host me mistress therapist Cherry Flake. Hey,
(01:21):
beautiful people, what's up? Okay? So today I have on
my Bachelor Franchise T shirt. My sister in law gave
me this. Shout out to my sister in law, Jackie.
She's amazing and the reason why she got me this
T shirt is because we were at a Bachelor Live event. Yeah,
did I go see The Bachelor live event. Yes, I did,
because I'm the hugest fan. And if you know anything
about me, you know that I don't watch much TV.
I love The Bachelor, and it's the only show that
(01:43):
I watch like in its entirety. I mean, maybe The
Golden Girls too, but really the Bachelor is where I stand.
And right now, the Bachelor is Grant. He's coming to
the end of his season and he is. Oh. I
don't watch it because the boys are cute, that's a
nice little perk. I watch it because I love so
many things about it. I love that this one person
(02:03):
thinks they're going to walk in to a room with
just twenty five people that someone else picked and that
their true love is there. I love that. I love
that hope. I love that just I don't know that
that face it's so cool. And I love all of
the different personality types and disorders. I love examining those.
(02:24):
That's a part of my job. I love that everyone
there is for love and they're not there to make friends.
They keep saying, I'm here to find love. I'm here
to find love, and that is why I think we're
all here. We're we're all here to find love in
one way or another, romantic love, friendly love, you know,
a love between a child and a parent, whatever, It's
(02:47):
all about love. It's one love. I mean, the guy
was right. There is some talk on the show about
like who deserves love, Like I think she deserves love.
I think he deserves love. I'm like, hmm, don't we
all do surf love? That's just a side note. But
I mean, I think what's so cool about it is
that in the end, it's just about love, and it's
(03:11):
hopeful and it's happy and it's wanting. Now, there are
some very weird things about it. Absolutely, it's totally weird.
And one of those weird things is they do see
love as like the finish line, like finding the one
true love as the finish line. But I think that's
our whole life's purpose. It just goes on and on
and on. It's just it's all different kinds of love.
(03:32):
We love in so many different ways. My sister in
law again, I'm gonna mention her, just had a baby,
and I said, isn't it amazing how you just love
them so much? Because after you have one, you think,
oh my gosh, I could just never love someone as much.
As I love this little creature and then you find
it that you can and you do, and it's just
it's so good. And I'm getting like choked up thinking
about it, because it's that's what that show is about.
(03:55):
It's about love. It's about one love. I was talking
to a client yesterday and I was feeling really uncomfortable
because I was out with my client and I felt
like I kind of had to pretend like I like
fishing or whatever in order for him to engage with me,
for us to connect. We really couldn't connect, and so
(04:15):
he pretended that he liked fishing in order to, you know,
have this engagement with his client and make sure that
this guy would buy what he's selling or whatever, that
their relationship would be good. And I think we've all
found ourselves in that kind of situation before, right, Like
we've been like, oh my gosh, this person thinks I
like to bake, or that one time I mentioned this,
and so they think I love that, And it could
(04:37):
be really uncomfortable to fake it to be fake. It's weird.
And I think the older we get, the weirder it feels, right,
because when we're younger, we're trying to feel out who
we are. We're like trying on different coats at the Goodwill,
Like does this coat fit? Do I look good in
this coat? What does this mean? If I wear this coat?
Does it mean like I like Nirvana? Well, if it
(04:58):
says Nirvana, then probably does Like what does that mean
if I like Nirvana? Does that mean I'm for this
or against that? Right? Like, we're so wrapped up in
what it all means, and we're trying on our ego identities,
But what we forget is that a lot of our
ego identities have to do with who we truly are
(05:21):
because of our karmic path. Right. And so if you
are normally outgoing in Greagarias, it might be uncomfortable for
you to be quiet in the quarter save for like
someone I don't know, maybe me, Okay, Like I'm not
gonna sit in the corner at a party. You could
probably imagine that that's not me. But like, how do
(05:42):
you know if you're being yourself because it feels good,
You feel comfortable in your own skin, And it can
take many years for us to find that, you know,
And that's why I think the thirties and forties are
so lovely because people frown upon those ages, but you're
just so comfortable in your own skin. It's okay if
I don't ever want a scuba dive, and it's okay
(06:03):
if you can't even sleep on vacation because you can't
wait to get up and scuba dive. I think you know.
Acknowledging that and being who you are, it just helps
you be more happy and it opens you up to
that love. Because if you are faking it, if you're
faking your personality, and I tell my kids all the time, Listen,
people are gonna make fun of you. They're not gonna
(06:25):
like parts of you, whether you're faking it or if
you're being real, And it's way easier to be real
and keep up that persona okay, then it is to
be fake and try to please everyone around you. And
this is kind of where people pleasing comes in, right,
And when you're fake to everybody, everybody's gonna like you,
(06:48):
but no one's gonna really love you, right, because even
if they do fall in love with you, they're falling
in love with that fake thing that you're being in
order to have them fall in love with you, right,
And that's not what you want. That's not what you want.
What is most magical is when people say things like
(07:10):
I can be myself around this person. I can be
exactly who I am and I am loved, and that's
when it's easy to be loved. Does that mean that
some people aren't like you? Yes, one hundred percent. I
don't know where we got the message that everyone's gonna
like us. I mean, I got a big personality. I
mean a lot of people don't like it. Okay, a
lot of people do. And all that matters is I'm
(07:32):
comfortable in my own skin. I've found people in my
life that I want to be around because they know
my true self and they love me. Right, That's what
all any of us want is to be seen and loved.
You are seen, you are loved exactly how you are.
Because we all have a friend, right, they have like
(07:53):
this weird thing that they do, this weird thing that
they practice or talk about or love, and you just
love that and that ends up being the coolest thing
about them. So I have this friend named Jena, and
she is an animal lover. And I know it's weird
to say that because everyone's kind of an animal lover. Anyway,
Jen is next level animal loving. Okay, this girl. I
(08:13):
mean when I met her, I went over to her
house and she had a huge cadio in the backyard.
You know, like this run through like thousands of dollars
to make it so her cats could feel like they're
outside but really they're inside. It was amazing, like these
little runthroughs and screens and stuff. It was so cool.
And she had just spent like two thousand dollars on
getting her pet mouse back surgery. That's animal love on
(08:36):
a whole other level. Right. She also has a pool
and she spends a lot of time making slides and
various ladders for creatures that get trapped in her pool
to climb out. Okay, she removes dead animals from the
roads and puts them on the side of the road
so buzzards don't get hit by cars. I mean, I'm
talking next level animal loving. And she's got thousands of cats,
(08:58):
and she's super amazing and wonderful and so so so
so sweet, and I love her for this. I'm not
threatened by and I don't feel like I have to
be like her. I don't feel like I have to
be different from her. I just can appreciate this wonderful
thing about her. And I had a friend when I
was working in the hospital years and years ago who
every year on her birthday, she took work off and
went to the water park and she was like, you
can't tell anyone about this about you know, you can't
(09:20):
tell anyone about this. You can't tell anyone about this
thing about me that I do. And I'm picturing her
like with her little key around her wrist and in
her bathing suit and waning in line with a bunch
of kids with her little like slide mat, and I'm thinking,
this is the coolest thing about you. Why wouldn't you
want to know? Why wouldn't you want anyone to know
this about you? I mean, all of these things, all
these gifts, it's a part of your karmic path. That's
(09:42):
a part of who you actually are. And when you
live out the gifts that you have, you are happier.
You are happier. If you can sing, sing, you're gonna
feel better. Right. If you love running and it brings
your heart up to this beautiful space, then run, you know,
take these gifts that you been giving. That's a part
of being your authentic self. And I don't know where
(10:05):
we got this idea that we're supposed to be liked
by everybody. I mean, that is impossible, Okay, it's absolutely
impossible if you're gonna be your true self, you know,
if you're gonna be fake and you're gonna change on
every interaction with every person. Yeah, they'll probably like you,
but is that you that they like? I don't. I
don't think so, right, and so it might be a
(10:30):
little bit, you know, you know, it's it's it's controversial. Okay.
People are gonna like you and they're not gonna like you.
And that's perfect because there's a part of our brains
that were made up for us to want to fit in,
want to you know, contribute to the group, want to
be a part of a tribe. Right, so we could
have some add some value to a group and find
(10:52):
this law. My daughter was in fifth grade. I got
a call from one of her teachers. I thought she
was in trouble, and her teacher wanted to tell me
that she thought that Violet was my daughter's name, is
Violet very mature socially for her age, And I was like,
why what happened? She described to me that Violet sat
down with a little girl, another little girl in her
(11:13):
class that they were having some of this with, and
said something like, you know, I don't like you and
you don't like me, and so that works out great,
and so let's just not be friends. And I'm like, wow, okay,
I'm not saying this is easy, and I'm definitely not
saying that she got that from me. I would have
been saying things like there's something wrong with me if
somebody doesn't like me. It takes us a long time
(11:34):
to realize that Violet's kind of right. It works out
great when there's that mutual and it's usually like that.
Usually someone that you're not into they're not into you either.
But I can remember actively wanting every single person on
the earth to like me anyway, and it takes a
long time to realize that that's not any fun, that's
(11:56):
not even manageable, right, and that it's actually a favor
to you from God or Buddha or Jesus or Allah
or Susi or Patsy or whatever you call it, that
you can actually make your own tribe. And that's an
overused word. It drives me not so I can't believe
I'm using it, but it really does work in this
way because you know, back in the day we were groups.
(12:18):
You know that we're all working together to make it
work right and just for survival, you know, just for
our well being. Now we live this luxurious like where
we're just here to figure out how to wake up,
how to self actualize, how to self realize right. And
(12:39):
the only way you're going to be doing that is
if you are being exactly who you are. And the
most wonderful thing in the whole world is to meet
someone who is nothing like you and just love them
to pieces. Anyway, bring your beautiful gift to the table,
bring it to the people that you meet, Bring exactly
who you are are, because most of us cannot wait
(13:03):
to hang out with you and be with your authentic
self really, and we're probably gonna just fall in love
with you. And if we don't, it's probably because you'll
like us anyway. So let's meditate together. We're gonna come
back and we're gonna meditate together on the holy and
(13:25):
divine hymn of the universe, the word om a um
om ohm, however you want to spell it, that vibration.
We're going to meditate either right now, Okay, find your
(13:45):
comfortable space. Be sure to be sitting up, not leaning
one way or the other, and just allow your head
to set, and your spine to settle, on your shoulders
to settle, your bicep and triceps, and elbows and forearms
(14:12):
and hands and fingers to settle, Allow your heart center
to settle, your belly to settle, your thighs and knees
and chins and calves and ankles and feet and toes
(14:33):
to settle into a comfortable space. And in your mind's eye,
I want you to see the word oh. Maybe you
see it on a chalkboard, maybe you see it in
your favorite font, or on a whiteboard, written in the sky,
(14:53):
or cursive. However you see O. And it's sad that
if you say this word, this hymn of the universe,
this joining hum, this one love, the word of God,
(15:17):
however you put it, that it's so powerful, the vibration
is so powerful, and that if you say it silently
to yourself a thousand more times powerful. So begin silently
saying oh, oh, Oh. And when you move your awareness
(15:44):
away from the mantra, just gently come back time and
time again to oh, and allow yourself this beautiful time
to only focus on the holy and divine mantra. So simple,
(16:10):
keep coming back, keep coming back. That is the meditation.
It's not a focus on nothing, no thing, just one thing.
Oh see it? Say it to yourself and I'll be
back to guide you out to us. And now I
(22:33):
will guide out home. Allow this sacred mantra to fall
away from your awareness, sitting for a moment and the tranquility, sir,
(23:02):
that you and this mantra together have created. Take a long, slow,
deep breath in your nose. Let it all go out
of your mouth. Again, in your nose, out of your mouth,
(23:30):
awakening and clearing, cleansing, breath in your nose, letting it
all go out of your mouth, and when you're ready,
you can flutter open your beautiful eyes. Okay, Well, I
(23:54):
love your true self and if you want to share
your true self with a comment a question, if you
want to come on a retreat, I would love your
beautiful self to come and be on a retreat with me.
If you send me an email Sherry C. H e
Er I at Thestress Therapist dot com and you put
in the subject podcast or new reality TV, I will
(24:21):
give you fifty bucks off of the next retreat. It
doesn't matter if it's the one in the mountains, and
it doesn't matter if it's the one at the beach.
I want to share that with you. You can't register
for it and then ask me for it. You gotta
send me the email so I can give you the discount. Okay.
Because I have a tendency to only attract the most beautiful, wonderful,
amazing people on my retreats, I don't know how we
(24:42):
do it. Me and Shannon, my sister, are aally shocked
and so pleased because we only have beautiful, lovely spirits there.
Let me know what you think about feeling comfortable in
your authentic skin and how it feels to be fake
and how it feels to be real, and how it
allows us to fall in love with you. Let me
(25:04):
know what your experience about that is. Like, I love
you so much. Until next time, Have a lovely, lovely day.
How y'all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good? Awesome?
Check out the show notes to connect with me the
Stress Therapist on social media, at the stress Therapist on Instagram,
(25:25):
and at stress Therapy on Twitter. You can always go
to I loovethapy dot com to find out about meditation
and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there.
If you live in Georgia and you're ready to be
one of my clients, go to my website to find
out how you can sign up for a free face
to face consultation with me at the very least Jump
by my mailer so you don't stress or miss one
(25:47):
thing until next time, Have a lovely, lovely day,
Hey, beautiful people, what's up? Okay? Today we're going to
talk about being your authentic self and not only what
that means because it's so vague and everyone's just throwing
it around, right, but like how to do it and
why it's so important because you're only going to win
when you're you. You can only win, it's the only way.
So relax and settle in and listen up because your
(00:21):
stress therapy session is about to begin right now, and
I'll explain their shirt in a minute, of course, you're
all my friends. Hey, beautiful people, It's time for some
(00:45):
stress therapy, a podcast about how to meditate and get
better at stress for people living in the real world.
Finally a place to park my twenty five plus years
of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental
health field. And now your host me mistress therapist Cherry Flake. Hey,
(01:21):
beautiful people, what's up? Okay? So today I have on
my Bachelor Franchise T shirt. My sister in law gave
me this. Shout out to my sister in law, Jackie.
She's amazing and the reason why she got me this
T shirt is because we were at a Bachelor Live event. Yeah,
did I go see The Bachelor live event. Yes, I did,
because I'm the hugest fan. And if you know anything
about me, you know that I don't watch much TV.
I love The Bachelor, and it's the only show that
(01:43):
I watch like in its entirety. I mean, maybe The
Golden Girls too, but really the Bachelor is where I stand.
And right now, the Bachelor is Grant. He's coming to
the end of his season and he is. Oh. I
don't watch it because the boys are cute, that's a
nice little perk. I watch it because I love so
many things about it. I love that this one person
(02:03):
thinks they're going to walk in to a room with
just twenty five people that someone else picked and that
their true love is there. I love that. I love
that hope. I love that just I don't know that
that face it's so cool. And I love all of
the different personality types and disorders. I love examining those.
(02:24):
That's a part of my job. I love that everyone
there is for love and they're not there to make friends.
They keep saying, I'm here to find love. I'm here
to find love, and that is why I think we're
all here. We're we're all here to find love in
one way or another, romantic love, friendly love, you know,
a love between a child and a parent, whatever, It's
(02:47):
all about love. It's one love. I mean, the guy
was right. There is some talk on the show about
like who deserves love, Like I think she deserves love.
I think he deserves love. I'm like, hmm, don't we
all do surf love? That's just a side note. But
I mean, I think what's so cool about it is
that in the end, it's just about love, and it's
(03:11):
hopeful and it's happy and it's wanting. Now, there are
some very weird things about it. Absolutely, it's totally weird.
And one of those weird things is they do see
love as like the finish line, like finding the one
true love as the finish line. But I think that's
our whole life's purpose. It just goes on and on
and on. It's just it's all different kinds of love.
(03:32):
We love in so many different ways. My sister in
law again, I'm gonna mention her, just had a baby,
and I said, isn't it amazing how you just love
them so much? Because after you have one, you think,
oh my gosh, I could just never love someone as much.
As I love this little creature and then you find
it that you can and you do, and it's just
it's so good. And I'm getting like choked up thinking
about it, because it's that's what that show is about.
(03:55):
It's about love. It's about one love. I was talking
to a client yesterday and I was feeling really uncomfortable
because I was out with my client and I felt
like I kind of had to pretend like I like
fishing or whatever in order for him to engage with me,
for us to connect. We really couldn't connect, and so
(04:15):
he pretended that he liked fishing in order to, you know,
have this engagement with his client and make sure that
this guy would buy what he's selling or whatever, that
their relationship would be good. And I think we've all
found ourselves in that kind of situation before, right, Like
we've been like, oh my gosh, this person thinks I
like to bake, or that one time I mentioned this,
and so they think I love that, And it could
(04:37):
be really uncomfortable to fake it to be fake. It's weird.
And I think the older we get, the weirder it feels, right,
because when we're younger, we're trying to feel out who
we are. We're like trying on different coats at the Goodwill,
Like does this coat fit? Do I look good in
this coat? What does this mean? If I wear this coat?
Does it mean like I like Nirvana? Well, if it
(04:58):
says Nirvana, then probably does Like what does that mean
if I like Nirvana? Does that mean I'm for this
or against that? Right? Like, we're so wrapped up in
what it all means, and we're trying on our ego identities,
But what we forget is that a lot of our
ego identities have to do with who we truly are
(05:21):
because of our karmic path. Right. And so if you
are normally outgoing in Greagarias, it might be uncomfortable for
you to be quiet in the quarter save for like
someone I don't know, maybe me, Okay, Like I'm not
gonna sit in the corner at a party. You could
probably imagine that that's not me. But like, how do
(05:42):
you know if you're being yourself because it feels good,
You feel comfortable in your own skin, And it can
take many years for us to find that, you know,
And that's why I think the thirties and forties are
so lovely because people frown upon those ages, but you're
just so comfortable in your own skin. It's okay if
I don't ever want a scuba dive, and it's okay
(06:03):
if you can't even sleep on vacation because you can't
wait to get up and scuba dive. I think you know.
Acknowledging that and being who you are, it just helps
you be more happy and it opens you up to
that love. Because if you are faking it, if you're
faking your personality, and I tell my kids all the time, Listen,
people are gonna make fun of you. They're not gonna
(06:25):
like parts of you, whether you're faking it or if
you're being real, And it's way easier to be real
and keep up that persona okay, then it is to
be fake and try to please everyone around you. And
this is kind of where people pleasing comes in, right,
And when you're fake to everybody, everybody's gonna like you,
(06:48):
but no one's gonna really love you, right, because even
if they do fall in love with you, they're falling
in love with that fake thing that you're being in
order to have them fall in love with you, right,
And that's not what you want. That's not what you want.
What is most magical is when people say things like
(07:10):
I can be myself around this person. I can be
exactly who I am and I am loved, and that's
when it's easy to be loved. Does that mean that
some people aren't like you? Yes, one hundred percent. I
don't know where we got the message that everyone's gonna
like us. I mean, I got a big personality. I
mean a lot of people don't like it. Okay, a
lot of people do. And all that matters is I'm
(07:32):
comfortable in my own skin. I've found people in my
life that I want to be around because they know
my true self and they love me. Right, That's what
all any of us want is to be seen and loved.
You are seen, you are loved exactly how you are.
Because we all have a friend, right, they have like
(07:53):
this weird thing that they do, this weird thing that
they practice or talk about or love, and you just
love that and that ends up being the coolest thing
about them. So I have this friend named Jena, and
she is an animal lover. And I know it's weird
to say that because everyone's kind of an animal lover. Anyway,
Jen is next level animal loving. Okay, this girl. I
(08:13):
mean when I met her, I went over to her
house and she had a huge cadio in the backyard.
You know, like this run through like thousands of dollars
to make it so her cats could feel like they're
outside but really they're inside. It was amazing, like these
little runthroughs and screens and stuff. It was so cool.
And she had just spent like two thousand dollars on
getting her pet mouse back surgery. That's animal love on
(08:36):
a whole other level. Right. She also has a pool
and she spends a lot of time making slides and
various ladders for creatures that get trapped in her pool
to climb out. Okay, she removes dead animals from the
roads and puts them on the side of the road
so buzzards don't get hit by cars. I mean, I'm
talking next level animal loving. And she's got thousands of cats,
(08:58):
and she's super amazing and wonderful and so so so
so sweet, and I love her for this. I'm not
threatened by and I don't feel like I have to
be like her. I don't feel like I have to
be different from her. I just can appreciate this wonderful
thing about her. And I had a friend when I
was working in the hospital years and years ago who
every year on her birthday, she took work off and
went to the water park and she was like, you
can't tell anyone about this about you know, you can't
(09:20):
tell anyone about this. You can't tell anyone about this
thing about me that I do. And I'm picturing her
like with her little key around her wrist and in
her bathing suit and waning in line with a bunch
of kids with her little like slide mat, and I'm thinking,
this is the coolest thing about you. Why wouldn't you
want to know? Why wouldn't you want anyone to know
this about you? I mean, all of these things, all
these gifts, it's a part of your karmic path. That's
(09:42):
a part of who you actually are. And when you
live out the gifts that you have, you are happier.
You are happier. If you can sing, sing, you're gonna
feel better. Right. If you love running and it brings
your heart up to this beautiful space, then run, you know,
take these gifts that you been giving. That's a part
of being your authentic self. And I don't know where
(10:05):
we got this idea that we're supposed to be liked
by everybody. I mean, that is impossible, Okay, it's absolutely
impossible if you're gonna be your true self, you know,
if you're gonna be fake and you're gonna change on
every interaction with every person. Yeah, they'll probably like you,
but is that you that they like? I don't. I
don't think so, right, and so it might be a
(10:30):
little bit, you know, you know, it's it's it's controversial. Okay.
People are gonna like you and they're not gonna like you.
And that's perfect because there's a part of our brains
that were made up for us to want to fit in,
want to you know, contribute to the group, want to
be a part of a tribe. Right, so we could
have some add some value to a group and find
(10:52):
this law. My daughter was in fifth grade. I got
a call from one of her teachers. I thought she
was in trouble, and her teacher wanted to tell me
that she thought that Violet was my daughter's name, is
Violet very mature socially for her age, And I was like,
why what happened? She described to me that Violet sat
down with a little girl, another little girl in her
(11:13):
class that they were having some of this with, and
said something like, you know, I don't like you and
you don't like me, and so that works out great,
and so let's just not be friends. And I'm like, wow, okay,
I'm not saying this is easy, and I'm definitely not
saying that she got that from me. I would have
been saying things like there's something wrong with me if
somebody doesn't like me. It takes us a long time
(11:34):
to realize that Violet's kind of right. It works out
great when there's that mutual and it's usually like that.
Usually someone that you're not into they're not into you either.
But I can remember actively wanting every single person on
the earth to like me anyway, and it takes a
long time to realize that that's not any fun, that's
(11:56):
not even manageable, right, and that it's actually a favor
to you from God or Buddha or Jesus or Allah
or Susi or Patsy or whatever you call it, that
you can actually make your own tribe. And that's an
overused word. It drives me not so I can't believe
I'm using it, but it really does work in this
way because you know, back in the day we were groups.
(12:18):
You know that we're all working together to make it
work right and just for survival, you know, just for
our well being. Now we live this luxurious like where
we're just here to figure out how to wake up,
how to self actualize, how to self realize right. And
(12:39):
the only way you're going to be doing that is
if you are being exactly who you are. And the
most wonderful thing in the whole world is to meet
someone who is nothing like you and just love them
to pieces. Anyway, bring your beautiful gift to the table,
bring it to the people that you meet, Bring exactly
who you are are, because most of us cannot wait
(13:03):
to hang out with you and be with your authentic
self really, and we're probably gonna just fall in love
with you. And if we don't, it's probably because you'll
like us anyway. So let's meditate together. We're gonna come
back and we're gonna meditate together on the holy and
(13:25):
divine hymn of the universe, the word om a um
om ohm, however you want to spell it, that vibration.
We're going to meditate either right now, Okay, find your
(13:45):
comfortable space. Be sure to be sitting up, not leaning
one way or the other, and just allow your head
to set, and your spine to settle, on your shoulders
to settle, your bicep and triceps, and elbows and forearms
(14:12):
and hands and fingers to settle, Allow your heart center
to settle, your belly to settle, your thighs and knees
and chins and calves and ankles and feet and toes
(14:33):
to settle into a comfortable space. And in your mind's eye,
I want you to see the word oh. Maybe you
see it on a chalkboard, maybe you see it in
your favorite font, or on a whiteboard, written in the sky,
(14:53):
or cursive. However you see O. And it's sad that
if you say this word, this hymn of the universe,
this joining hum, this one love, the word of God,
(15:17):
however you put it, that it's so powerful, the vibration
is so powerful, and that if you say it silently
to yourself a thousand more times powerful. So begin silently
saying oh, oh, Oh. And when you move your awareness
(15:44):
away from the mantra, just gently come back time and
time again to oh, and allow yourself this beautiful time
to only focus on the holy and divine mantra. So simple,
(16:10):
keep coming back, keep coming back. That is the meditation.
It's not a focus on nothing, no thing, just one thing.
Oh see it? Say it to yourself and I'll be
back to guide you out to us. And now I
(22:33):
will guide out home. Allow this sacred mantra to fall
away from your awareness, sitting for a moment and the tranquility, sir,
(23:02):
that you and this mantra together have created. Take a long, slow,
deep breath in your nose. Let it all go out
of your mouth. Again, in your nose, out of your mouth,
(23:30):
awakening and clearing, cleansing, breath in your nose, letting it
all go out of your mouth, and when you're ready,
you can flutter open your beautiful eyes. Okay, Well, I
(23:54):
love your true self and if you want to share
your true self with a comment a question, if you
want to come on a retreat, I would love your
beautiful self to come and be on a retreat with me.
If you send me an email Sherry C. H e
Er I at Thestress Therapist dot com and you put
in the subject podcast or new reality TV, I will
(24:21):
give you fifty bucks off of the next retreat. It
doesn't matter if it's the one in the mountains, and
it doesn't matter if it's the one at the beach.
I want to share that with you. You can't register
for it and then ask me for it. You gotta
send me the email so I can give you the discount. Okay.
Because I have a tendency to only attract the most beautiful, wonderful,
amazing people on my retreats, I don't know how we
(24:42):
do it. Me and Shannon, my sister, are aally shocked
and so pleased because we only have beautiful, lovely spirits there.
Let me know what you think about feeling comfortable in
your authentic skin and how it feels to be fake
and how it feels to be real, and how it
allows us to fall in love with you. Let me
(25:04):
know what your experience about that is. Like, I love
you so much. Until next time, Have a lovely, lovely day.
How y'all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good? Awesome?
Check out the show notes to connect with me the
Stress Therapist on social media, at the stress Therapist on Instagram,
(25:25):
and at stress Therapy on Twitter. You can always go
to I loovethapy dot com to find out about meditation
and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there.
If you live in Georgia and you're ready to be
one of my clients, go to my website to find
out how you can sign up for a free face
to face consultation with me at the very least Jump
by my mailer so you don't stress or miss one
(25:47):
thing until next time, Have a lovely, lovely day,
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