November 18, 2025 • 32 mins
✨ Episode Summary:
In this heartwarming holiday episode, Cheri pops out of her retreat-mode to drop a cozy, candid Thanksgiving chat straight from her pink treehouse. Inspired by a silent meditation retreat and a real-talk moment with a client, she gets real about why gratitude sometimes feels forced—and how to gently shift into a more loving, ease-filled practice. With stories of chapstick, cranky teens, and making lunches with love, Cheri invites us to stop overthinking gratitude and start living it. This episode ends with a beautiful, breath-centered guided meditation on love and thankfulness.
🔑 Key Learning Points:
Gratitude doesn't need a journal. You don’t have to write it down to feel it—just find the good in everyday moments and let the thankfulness naturally flow.
Resentment vs. Reverence. The way we frame our daily “chores” can turn obligation into a sacred act of service—and that shift changes everything.
Love makes life taste better. Whether you're cooking, cleaning, or just breathing, doing it with love transforms your entire experience (and maybe even the flavor).
💌 Mentions & Shout-Outs:
🧘 Self-Realization Fellowship – Cheri’s recent silent meditation retreat that inspired this soulful drop-in.
📚 Gratitude Journals – The pros, cons, and Cheri’s “just live it” alternative.
💖 "It's Easy and I Like It" Tattoos – Cheri’s go-to mantra and mini gift from her talks.
📺 NewRealityTV.com + URView TV – Where you can find Cheri’s video meditations.
📬 Cheri’s Gift Guide & Retreat Newsletter – Sign up at TheStressTherapist.com
to get it!
📧 Email her anytime: cheri@thestresstherapist.com
💕 Follow Cheri:
Instagram: @thestresstherapist
Twitter/X: @stresstherapy
🎧 Produced by Owen Flake – Mixing the vibes and polishing the magic, thank you for making it all sound so good!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people, what's up? So today I'm going to
be talking about Thanksgiving. It's coming up, and of course
the hot topic is always gratitude this time of year
and giving thanks and all of that. And one of
my clients today said, sometimes it's just kind of annoying.
I get it, But how can we get into that
place of gratitude and thanksgiving and really have it work
(00:21):
for our mental health? The research is out, the science
is clear gratitude helps. So how do we do it?
How can we make it easy? How can we make
it super easy? And how can we make it really
help us by giving thanks for every single thing around us?
How can we do that? It seems kind of like
a pain, it's not. So Relax and settle in and
(00:42):
listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Right Hey, beautiful people.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
It's time for some stress therapy, a podcast about how
to meditate and get better at stress for people living
in the real world. Finally a place to park by
twenty five plus years of experience of working as a
psychotherapist in the mental health field and now your.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Host, me the stress therapist Cherry Flake. Hey, beautiful people,
what's up?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So today we're gonna be talking about Thanksgiving because it's
right around the corner. It's coming up.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I know I'm supposed to be on a break and
all that, but I really wanted to jump on today
and talk to you guys because I guess I'm a
little inspired. I went to a silent meditation Rey Tree
over the weekend with Self Realization Fellowship, and it was
amazing and wonderful on all the things, and the monks
just said some things. It's just like, oh my gosh,
they hit so good. And then I was with my
clients today and it seemed to have some kind of
(02:01):
theme and I don't know the Thanksgiving season at all
of it. I mean, it's just too much. I had
to come and just press record and talk to you today.
So here's what I have to say. First, I was
talking to one of my clients today and she said,
you know, yeah, I have a gratitude journal. It has
some prompts in there, and I don't know, it just
started to be one more thing I had to do
(02:21):
and blah blah blah. And I was totally relating to
this because one of my friends, for I think my
fiftieth birthday or something got me a gratitude journal and
it did have prompts in it, and I didn't really
I mean, I don't know. I kind of sometimes think
I know everything, but you know how we always do sometimes,
And I was thinking, I don't like this prompt I
don't like that problems. So I started like changing them
or skipping them. And then after a while, I was like,
(02:44):
I don't need a gratitude prompt journal. I just need
to write this down. And then after I'm writing it down,
I'm thinking, I don't really need to write this down.
I just need to like live it, right, Like I
need to walk around the world and just like live
in this place of gratitude, the attitude of gratitude, like
all these like beatitudes or whatever. But like I was
(03:05):
really relating to this complaint. And I think the unspoken thing,
which isn't surprising to anybody and totally makes sense to everyone,
is that Thanksgiving is not the time to give thanks
It's one of the times, right, like we need to
be doing it all day, every day. And it's pretty
clear that, you know, there's all this clinical research that
having a gratitude journal prompts or no promps is good
(03:29):
for your mental health. It just is it makes you
feel better about things when you're in this place of
gratitude and thanksgiving. And I love that Thanksgiving emphasizes it.
But we need to remember that this is something that
we could be doing daily. This is something that we
could be doing once an hour. It's not that big
of a whoop, and we're making it a big whoop
when we have a gratitude journal or a gratitude practice.
(03:51):
Now I'm not against those things. I think those things
are awesome, especially if you have no experience with giving
gratitude some time and action in your life life. But
it doesn't need to be a formal sit Now. With
my clients, I usually have them start in the evenings.
I'll have them just write down five things they are
thankful for, and you know, at first it starts to
(04:11):
be really big, like, you know, my family and my
friends and my kids and my noisy dogs. And then
you know, you got to get real, you know, because
you can't keep saying the same thing all the time,
or you can, or you can sure, but you want
to kind of remember that it's okay to be thankful
for your favorite chapstick and you know, for a BlackBerry
(04:31):
on top of your Sunday or whatever. I mean, it
doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you're thankful for. The
idea that you have received something already also gets your
mind in this space of abundance, and your brain is
getting the message that you already have all these wonderful things,
that you are, all these wonderful things, that wonderful things
come to you, and it believes that. And then of
(04:54):
course we know that if you believe something, your brain
is actively looking for evi of that in your environment
and bringing more stuff to you. And by stuff, I
mean you know, goodwill and whatever you're being thankful for.
So it's not necessarily material things, but it might be.
Anyway back to the gratitude journal idea, this client was
(05:15):
very insightful when she said, it started to be one
more thing that I had to do and like a
like a check mark off, you know, on my list
of things to do. And I get that we don't
want our gratitude practice to be a pain in the butt, right,
we want to be like actively into it. And so
then over the weekend I was on this retreat and
(05:37):
this monk said, how can we practice gratitude every day?
And this is so simple, and that's why I ran
out to my little paint treehouse to tell you guys this,
because I love this so much. He said, you find
the good in every single thing. You focus on the good. Now,
(05:59):
that's seems so simple and like not revolutionary, But I'm
telling you the reason why it is is because I
say all the time, what you think about, you bring about,
what you focus on gets bigger. You know, where your
concentration goes is where your energy flows whatever. We all
have a different little platitude for what we're talking about here,
(06:20):
but when you are actually focused on what's good, gratitude
is the natural response to that. Maybe your teenager is
super cranky, but she's really really funny and made you
laugh so hard today, Or maybe your boss is usually stingy,
(06:40):
but today he I don't know, gave you the flowers
that were left over from the birthday party in the
break room. What good is there to look at? And
when you look at it, when you find the good
and there's not there's not none. Ever, there's always good
in something. And you can look around just the environment
you're in right now and see so many things that
(07:03):
are physical things that you could touch and be thankful for,
but also just like taking this next breath and this
day on this earth. And it sounds so cheesy and
it sounds so silly, but once you start to do it,
it's the coolest thing. If I said to you, what's
the coolest thing about your parent that you're estranged from,
even you'll be able to come up with something this perfect,
(07:25):
worked really hard or had this kind of you know,
faith or value or whatever. There's always something good there,
and there's always something good always that you can kind
of pick out and then it just naturally flows into
And that's what I'm thankful for. And when you're feeling
(07:46):
truly thankful, it feels amazing. You feel so good, You
feel filled to the top with love, and you feel seen,
and you feel like your life is going well and
that it's a little bit of the happiness. Cheer comes
in with that kind of thanksgiving, and there's a huge
ripple effect. If you walk around thanking everybody in your office,
(08:07):
it's going to spread, it's gonna rub off on other people.
You will and even if it's fake because you feel
like crap or you're overwhelmed with what you have to
do for Christmas or Holidays or whatever's coming up. It
still works. And that's why it's getting so much press.
That's why it's getting so much attention, because when you
(08:29):
actually sit in it, you sit in a pool of
thankfulness for this next breath or this friend or this
knowledge to not have that friend anymore or whatever. There's
so much to be thankful for, and then you just
can't even avoid it. It's amazing. And we tend to
(08:50):
rather sit in and focus on what's going wrong and
what's wrong with this and what's wrong with that? And
I'll tell you something. As a mom and a wife
life and a householder and a business owner, a podcast host, whatever,
there's a lot that I can get resentful about. And
(09:12):
I have to remember that whatever I'm doing for someone
in my house, even if I feel like they could
help me or they should have done it, or I
have to stay up late and this person gets to
go to sleep earlier, whatever whatever it is, if I
switch the way I'm thinking about it, everything changes and
I see the good and I start to be really
thankful for it. And it's unbelievable. I mean, it works
(09:34):
every time. Rather than thinking, oh, you know, like the
other day, I was making the kids lunches, and I
was late with this or that, and I was still cooking,
and I was still cleaning, and my husband was in
bed and he was reading. We went to the bookstore
that day and we both got books, and he was
reading the book he got and I was so jealous,
and I was like, oh, but I had to stay
up because I'm the mom and I gotta do this
and I gotta do that. And then I thought, you know,
(09:55):
I get to these are my acts of service. Now,
if you're loveling, which is an acts of service, you
might not be seeing what you do day to day
as acts of service for other people or dogs or
cats or birds or lizards or whatever, or kids or
husbands or bosses or colleagues or whatever. What are you
(10:16):
doing with resentment that you can actually think, you know what,
I'm gonna do this lovingly? And that's what this monk
was talking about. He was talking about living lovingly and
how you can do that. And if you're rolling your
eyes right now, I totally get it. But stick with
me just for a second here. When I changed the
way that I did it, like, I get to do this,
This is an act of service. For my kids. I'm
(10:37):
going to make a meal for these two people that
I love, and it is no different. It is no
more honorable or less honorable than making a meal for
someone down at the mission. It's the same thing. You
are doing an act of service, raising kids, decorating for Christmas,
hosting Thanksgiving. These things are acts of service. And if
(11:00):
you can think of a way of being like, I'm
going to do this because I'm gonna make the sweet
potato casse role because I'm really good at it. It always
turns out well. I'm excited to make it because I
like people. I like to see people enjoying it. And
rather than I got to do this and no one
else is doing that in all this comparison trap and stuff,
how can you do it lovingly? How can you do
(11:22):
it with loving your heart? And then it's really easy
to be thankful for that. I'm so thankful that I'm
making lunch for my kids because in a few years
they're not going to live here anymore. They're going to
be living out their own which was the goal of
all of it. But that is a part of my
(11:47):
service on this earth is to raise kids that can
make their own lunches and that you know, can do
their own laundry. And they're doing that now as we
go along, and I'm there to support them while they
focus on school or focus on testing, or focus on whatever.
You know, it's not just this crappy job, and it is.
(12:12):
I mean, I'm not trying to color this the wrong way.
It's harder for women. I'm just gonna say it out loud.
You may or may not want to hear it. It
may sound sexist or whatever, but the buck stops here, man,
it just does. And so I can do that with resentment,
and I can do these duties with love and realize
(12:32):
all of the massive things that my husband is contributing
in ways that I am definitely not acknowledging on the
reg And that's his karmpath and his walk and his life,
and it's my comic path in my life. And I
just don't want to look back and say I had
a really good thing there and I was cranky all
the time about it, you know. I mean, if you
(12:56):
can find a way to feel good to do something
with love, way way back before I even had kids,
I cook up knitting for like, I don't know, five
or six minutes. It was like a very short lived thing.
But I made a scarf for my sister, and I
made a scarf for my husband, and I made a
scarf for my mom. And I cannot tell you how
(13:19):
much love I poured into those things. I was like
filled to the top with love while I was doing it.
I mean, it meant so much to me. I'm talking
about it now, it was twenty years ago. You know,
like when we actually do things with love, it rubs
off on I think one of my clients today was saying, yeah,
every time I make this meal, if I do it lovingly,
it turns out great, and if I do it with resentment,
(13:40):
it doesn't taste as good. And I think that is
just the memo of our whole lives. Life does not
taste as good if it doesn't have love in it
all the time. And it is difficult to stay in
an attitude of gratitude if you're cranky and you're not
doing it lovingly. What acts of service are you doing
every single day that you're not allowing your presence and
(14:06):
your personal everything to be involved into that task. And
you can trick yourself. You can put on different music
or a sitcom or whatever to trick yourself into thinking
you're having a great time a ding a dishwasher because
that's what you do every day and you're sick of
it or whatever, and someone should be helping you or whatever.
But if you put on a candle that smells good,
or a song that reminds you of being you know, young,
(14:27):
or on a certain vacation or with a certain person
or something, it can really change everything. This is why
I hand out little tattoos, you know, at my talks
that say it's easy and I like it. Because after
a while of saying it's easy and I like it,
it's easy and I like it. It's easy and I
like it, it really is easy, and you really do
start to like it. And this is a faster track
(14:50):
just thinking about how can I do this in a
way that isn't hurting me. I'm the only one who
suffers when I'm cranky. Well, maybe other people suffers, but
I'm the one who suffers the most. And so if
I take time to be like, you know what, I'm
gonna do this laundry with love, or I'm gonna do
this favor, or ask people around me how can I
(15:11):
support you more? Or telling my kids all the things
that I love and appreciate about them, instead of constantly
focusing on what they should be doing, or what they missed,
or how they messed up, or how messy goodness sakes,
how messy their rooms are. What about when the rooms
are clean? Are you mentioning it? You know, we really
need to focus on the good. And then you get
to be like, you know what, my kid has a
(15:33):
messy room, but I'm really glad that when I give
them a deadline. My kids like deadlines. They need it.
They get their room clean by Friday or whatever it is.
And one way that you can get yourself from feeling overwhelmed,
especially when we're moving into the most busiest time of
the year, is do not for goodness sakes, do not
go into after the holidays, this after the holidays, at
(15:55):
after the holidays, this, Oh my gosh, you're wishing yourself
through the holidays. Be in the holidays, in enjoy the holidays.
How can you walk around and live lovingly? And I
know for some people it's very tough. It reminds them
of people that they loved, But even still, it's not
a requirement to feel sad and down about those things.
You can make those memories into pleasant moments of memories
(16:18):
and what your relationship was filled with, and how you'd
like to make memories now and do it like you
did or like that relative that you lost did it
or do it differently or whatever, Like, how can we
just tweak it just the littlest bit so we move
into feeling really good and filling ourselves to the top
with love and spreading that outward instead of feeling sad
(16:41):
and overwhelmed and worried and overworked and cranky and complaining
and all that, because I do know this complaining, you
know makes things worse one hundred percent of the time.
One of the ways that you can get out of
that that slump those habitual thinking, because it's all it
is is thinking habits, that's all it is. You got
to notice it. You gotta be oh, yeah, I'm having
(17:01):
one of those thoughts, like there it is. You don't
need to change the thought. You don't have to give
it a new thought. I mean, if you want to,
you can, but just noticing it. Oh, there's a thought
that I keep having. There's one of the thoughts I
don't want to have anymore. You become a little curious
about it, you're aware of it, and then you can
bring love into that situation. I don't care what's going on.
There is always room for love. There always is. And
(17:23):
I know at Christmas I talk a lot about love,
but love every single day, every single moment. How can
you do it? Well? What one thing that you can
do is you can love your breath and you can
ask yourself, am I still breathing? And there is no
way to answer that question unless you come into this
very moment right now. Am I still breathing? Check physically,
(17:44):
check and see if you are still breathing. Am I
still breathing? Yes? I am. You cannot be in a
different moment and answer that question. You have to be
in the moment that you're in, and there's always room
(18:06):
for love. I'm sending you so much love right now,
so much love and light. We're gonna take a quick
break and then we're gonna meditate together. Take a moment
(18:32):
now to find a comfortable seat, just taking a moment
to take a few deep breaths, breathing in your nose,
out of your mouth, and just after that one deep breath,
notice how your body settles in another long, slow, deep
(18:56):
breath in your nose, letting it all go out of
your mouth, and again noticing how your body just settles
right in parts of your body, really relaxed, breathing in
your nose, letting it all go out of your mouth,
(19:21):
with your chin level to the ground and sitting up.
I want you to imagine in your mind's eye, just
for a moment, a person or a sentient being, a creature,
a dog, a cap whatever that you love so much.
When you see this little being, you are filled to
(19:43):
the top with love, and just breathe that in and
take in their awareness, even if it's just in your imagination.
Take in this lovely image, the emotions surrounding it, and
just allow yourself to feel love, allow your body and
(20:05):
mind to bathe in it, to receive it and give it.
Just by thinking about this person or this creature. Notice
if you're smiling, Notice if your face has changed at all,
(20:28):
if anything in your guts are in your heart center,
just how your body feels when you are immersed in
love for a moment, and you can release that image
(20:50):
now and just noticing what it has left, what markets
left on your body, on your mind on this moment
and for a few minutes. I want you to just
breathe in the word think and breathe out the word you.
So however your breath is going, you don't have to
(21:13):
change it. Just associate your inhales with think and your
exhales with you. It may be slow and maybe fast
and maybe long. It doesn't matter. You're just thank you,
thank you. I'm going to leave you a few moments
with this mantra, and when you don't see it in
(21:36):
your mind anymore, you're not silently saying it to yourself anymore.
With each inhale and exhale, you just simply keep coming back.
If you notice that you're thinking about the future, the past,
or something else, just come back to think you and
(21:57):
I'll be back to guide you out. Thank you, USA,
(28:15):
Thank you, Thank you. Allow this mantra to fall away
from your awareness, keeping your eyes closed and your body still,
(28:38):
just noticing the effects of having sit for a few
minutes and meditation not a true gratitude practice. You have
to write anything down, you have to remember anything. You
just sat stillness and peace and love and gratitude. Take
(29:06):
a long, slow, deep breath in your nose, letting it
all go out of your mouth, another long, slow, deep
breath in your nose, letting it all go out of
your mouth. And again another deep breath in your nose,
(29:31):
letting it all go out of your mouth, and when
you're ready, you can open your beautiful eyes. Oh my goodness,
it was such a breath of fresh air to be
(29:52):
with you, to meditate with you. I've been recording these
videos for newrealitytv dot com and for Coxcommunication that they
picked up my podcast, and they've been playing my videos
on your view TV. And I have just neglected the
good old fashioned sit here in my pajamas in my
little pink treehouse and talk to my people. And so
(30:13):
I really feel your energy right now, and I am
so grateful for you. I'm literally tearing up right now.
I'm so grateful for anyone who listens. And if you
could just like and subscribe and maybe make a comment
and certainly give me any feedback that you have, I
would love to hear how to make things better. My
(30:37):
email address is Sherry C.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
H e.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Ri I at Thestress Theapist dot com. You can find
me on Instagram, the Stress Therapist and Twitter at stress Therapy.
I would love, love love to hear from you. I
appreciate you more than I can express. Really, really, I
really really appreciate you, and I hope you have a beautiful,
(31:02):
fill to the top, loving, wonderful Thanksgiving Sending you so
much love and light, and certainly let me know how
I can make your life better. You can come on
and retreat with me. My newsletter is going to be
coming out here really soon with my gift Guide. I
put a lot of work into that every year. If
(31:24):
you'd like to get on the mail or go to
my website and sign up, or send me an email
at Sherry at thestress Therapist dot com. I love you,
have a lovely, lovely day. Hi, y'all feeling after that
stress therapy session? Good? Awesome? Check out the show notes
to connect with me the Stress Therapist on social media,
at the stress Therapist on Instagram and at stress Therapy
(31:47):
on Twitter. You can always go to I Loovethapy dot
com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and
other offerings that I have there. If you live in
Georgia and you're ready to be one of my clients,
go to my website to find out how you can
sign up a free face to face consultation with me
at the very least jump by my mailer so you
don't stress or miss one thing until next time. Have
(32:09):
a lovely, lovely day,
Hey, beautiful people, what's up? So today I'm going to
be talking about Thanksgiving. It's coming up, and of course
the hot topic is always gratitude this time of year
and giving thanks and all of that. And one of
my clients today said, sometimes it's just kind of annoying.
I get it, But how can we get into that
place of gratitude and thanksgiving and really have it work
(00:21):
for our mental health? The research is out, the science
is clear gratitude helps. So how do we do it?
How can we make it easy? How can we make
it super easy? And how can we make it really
help us by giving thanks for every single thing around us?
How can we do that? It seems kind of like
a pain, it's not. So Relax and settle in and
(00:42):
listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Right Hey, beautiful people.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
It's time for some stress therapy, a podcast about how
to meditate and get better at stress for people living
in the real world. Finally a place to park by
twenty five plus years of experience of working as a
psychotherapist in the mental health field and now your.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Host, me the stress therapist Cherry Flake. Hey, beautiful people,
what's up?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So today we're gonna be talking about Thanksgiving because it's
right around the corner. It's coming up.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I know I'm supposed to be on a break and
all that, but I really wanted to jump on today
and talk to you guys because I guess I'm a
little inspired. I went to a silent meditation Rey Tree
over the weekend with Self Realization Fellowship, and it was
amazing and wonderful on all the things, and the monks
just said some things. It's just like, oh my gosh,
they hit so good. And then I was with my
clients today and it seemed to have some kind of
(02:01):
theme and I don't know the Thanksgiving season at all
of it. I mean, it's just too much. I had
to come and just press record and talk to you today.
So here's what I have to say. First, I was
talking to one of my clients today and she said,
you know, yeah, I have a gratitude journal. It has
some prompts in there, and I don't know, it just
started to be one more thing I had to do
(02:21):
and blah blah blah. And I was totally relating to
this because one of my friends, for I think my
fiftieth birthday or something got me a gratitude journal and
it did have prompts in it, and I didn't really
I mean, I don't know. I kind of sometimes think
I know everything, but you know how we always do sometimes,
And I was thinking, I don't like this prompt I
don't like that problems. So I started like changing them
or skipping them. And then after a while, I was like,
(02:44):
I don't need a gratitude prompt journal. I just need
to write this down. And then after I'm writing it down,
I'm thinking, I don't really need to write this down.
I just need to like live it, right, Like I
need to walk around the world and just like live
in this place of gratitude, the attitude of gratitude, like
all these like beatitudes or whatever. But like I was
(03:05):
really relating to this complaint. And I think the unspoken thing,
which isn't surprising to anybody and totally makes sense to everyone,
is that Thanksgiving is not the time to give thanks
It's one of the times, right, like we need to
be doing it all day, every day. And it's pretty
clear that, you know, there's all this clinical research that
having a gratitude journal prompts or no promps is good
(03:29):
for your mental health. It just is it makes you
feel better about things when you're in this place of
gratitude and thanksgiving. And I love that Thanksgiving emphasizes it.
But we need to remember that this is something that
we could be doing daily. This is something that we
could be doing once an hour. It's not that big
of a whoop, and we're making it a big whoop
when we have a gratitude journal or a gratitude practice.
(03:51):
Now I'm not against those things. I think those things
are awesome, especially if you have no experience with giving
gratitude some time and action in your life life. But
it doesn't need to be a formal sit Now. With
my clients, I usually have them start in the evenings.
I'll have them just write down five things they are
thankful for, and you know, at first it starts to
(04:11):
be really big, like, you know, my family and my
friends and my kids and my noisy dogs. And then
you know, you got to get real, you know, because
you can't keep saying the same thing all the time,
or you can, or you can sure, but you want
to kind of remember that it's okay to be thankful
for your favorite chapstick and you know, for a BlackBerry
(04:31):
on top of your Sunday or whatever. I mean, it
doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you're thankful for. The
idea that you have received something already also gets your
mind in this space of abundance, and your brain is
getting the message that you already have all these wonderful things,
that you are, all these wonderful things, that wonderful things
come to you, and it believes that. And then of
(04:54):
course we know that if you believe something, your brain
is actively looking for evi of that in your environment
and bringing more stuff to you. And by stuff, I
mean you know, goodwill and whatever you're being thankful for.
So it's not necessarily material things, but it might be.
Anyway back to the gratitude journal idea, this client was
(05:15):
very insightful when she said, it started to be one
more thing that I had to do and like a
like a check mark off, you know, on my list
of things to do. And I get that we don't
want our gratitude practice to be a pain in the butt, right,
we want to be like actively into it. And so
then over the weekend I was on this retreat and
(05:37):
this monk said, how can we practice gratitude every day?
And this is so simple, and that's why I ran
out to my little paint treehouse to tell you guys this,
because I love this so much. He said, you find
the good in every single thing. You focus on the good. Now,
(05:59):
that's seems so simple and like not revolutionary, But I'm
telling you the reason why it is is because I
say all the time, what you think about, you bring about,
what you focus on gets bigger. You know, where your
concentration goes is where your energy flows whatever. We all
have a different little platitude for what we're talking about here,
(06:20):
but when you are actually focused on what's good, gratitude
is the natural response to that. Maybe your teenager is
super cranky, but she's really really funny and made you
laugh so hard today, Or maybe your boss is usually stingy,
(06:40):
but today he I don't know, gave you the flowers
that were left over from the birthday party in the
break room. What good is there to look at? And
when you look at it, when you find the good
and there's not there's not none. Ever, there's always good
in something. And you can look around just the environment
you're in right now and see so many things that
(07:03):
are physical things that you could touch and be thankful for,
but also just like taking this next breath and this
day on this earth. And it sounds so cheesy and
it sounds so silly, but once you start to do it,
it's the coolest thing. If I said to you, what's
the coolest thing about your parent that you're estranged from,
even you'll be able to come up with something this perfect,
(07:25):
worked really hard or had this kind of you know,
faith or value or whatever. There's always something good there,
and there's always something good always that you can kind
of pick out and then it just naturally flows into
And that's what I'm thankful for. And when you're feeling
(07:46):
truly thankful, it feels amazing. You feel so good, You
feel filled to the top with love, and you feel seen,
and you feel like your life is going well and
that it's a little bit of the happiness. Cheer comes
in with that kind of thanksgiving, and there's a huge
ripple effect. If you walk around thanking everybody in your office,
(08:07):
it's going to spread, it's gonna rub off on other people.
You will and even if it's fake because you feel
like crap or you're overwhelmed with what you have to
do for Christmas or Holidays or whatever's coming up. It
still works. And that's why it's getting so much press.
That's why it's getting so much attention, because when you
(08:29):
actually sit in it, you sit in a pool of
thankfulness for this next breath or this friend or this
knowledge to not have that friend anymore or whatever. There's
so much to be thankful for, and then you just
can't even avoid it. It's amazing. And we tend to
(08:50):
rather sit in and focus on what's going wrong and
what's wrong with this and what's wrong with that? And
I'll tell you something. As a mom and a wife
life and a householder and a business owner, a podcast host, whatever,
there's a lot that I can get resentful about. And
(09:12):
I have to remember that whatever I'm doing for someone
in my house, even if I feel like they could
help me or they should have done it, or I
have to stay up late and this person gets to
go to sleep earlier, whatever whatever it is, if I
switch the way I'm thinking about it, everything changes and
I see the good and I start to be really
thankful for it. And it's unbelievable. I mean, it works
(09:34):
every time. Rather than thinking, oh, you know, like the
other day, I was making the kids lunches, and I
was late with this or that, and I was still cooking,
and I was still cleaning, and my husband was in
bed and he was reading. We went to the bookstore
that day and we both got books, and he was
reading the book he got and I was so jealous,
and I was like, oh, but I had to stay
up because I'm the mom and I gotta do this
and I gotta do that. And then I thought, you know,
(09:55):
I get to these are my acts of service. Now,
if you're loveling, which is an acts of service, you
might not be seeing what you do day to day
as acts of service for other people or dogs or
cats or birds or lizards or whatever, or kids or
husbands or bosses or colleagues or whatever. What are you
(10:16):
doing with resentment that you can actually think, you know what,
I'm gonna do this lovingly? And that's what this monk
was talking about. He was talking about living lovingly and
how you can do that. And if you're rolling your
eyes right now, I totally get it. But stick with
me just for a second here. When I changed the
way that I did it, like, I get to do this,
This is an act of service. For my kids. I'm
(10:37):
going to make a meal for these two people that
I love, and it is no different. It is no
more honorable or less honorable than making a meal for
someone down at the mission. It's the same thing. You
are doing an act of service, raising kids, decorating for Christmas,
hosting Thanksgiving. These things are acts of service. And if
(11:00):
you can think of a way of being like, I'm
going to do this because I'm gonna make the sweet
potato casse role because I'm really good at it. It always
turns out well. I'm excited to make it because I
like people. I like to see people enjoying it. And
rather than I got to do this and no one
else is doing that in all this comparison trap and stuff,
how can you do it lovingly? How can you do
(11:22):
it with loving your heart? And then it's really easy
to be thankful for that. I'm so thankful that I'm
making lunch for my kids because in a few years
they're not going to live here anymore. They're going to
be living out their own which was the goal of
all of it. But that is a part of my
(11:47):
service on this earth is to raise kids that can
make their own lunches and that you know, can do
their own laundry. And they're doing that now as we
go along, and I'm there to support them while they
focus on school or focus on testing, or focus on whatever.
You know, it's not just this crappy job, and it is.
(12:12):
I mean, I'm not trying to color this the wrong way.
It's harder for women. I'm just gonna say it out loud.
You may or may not want to hear it. It
may sound sexist or whatever, but the buck stops here, man,
it just does. And so I can do that with resentment,
and I can do these duties with love and realize
(12:32):
all of the massive things that my husband is contributing
in ways that I am definitely not acknowledging on the
reg And that's his karmpath and his walk and his life,
and it's my comic path in my life. And I
just don't want to look back and say I had
a really good thing there and I was cranky all
the time about it, you know. I mean, if you
(12:56):
can find a way to feel good to do something
with love, way way back before I even had kids,
I cook up knitting for like, I don't know, five
or six minutes. It was like a very short lived thing.
But I made a scarf for my sister, and I
made a scarf for my husband, and I made a
scarf for my mom. And I cannot tell you how
(13:19):
much love I poured into those things. I was like
filled to the top with love while I was doing it.
I mean, it meant so much to me. I'm talking
about it now, it was twenty years ago. You know,
like when we actually do things with love, it rubs
off on I think one of my clients today was saying, yeah,
every time I make this meal, if I do it lovingly,
it turns out great, and if I do it with resentment,
(13:40):
it doesn't taste as good. And I think that is
just the memo of our whole lives. Life does not
taste as good if it doesn't have love in it
all the time. And it is difficult to stay in
an attitude of gratitude if you're cranky and you're not
doing it lovingly. What acts of service are you doing
every single day that you're not allowing your presence and
(14:06):
your personal everything to be involved into that task. And
you can trick yourself. You can put on different music
or a sitcom or whatever to trick yourself into thinking
you're having a great time a ding a dishwasher because
that's what you do every day and you're sick of
it or whatever, and someone should be helping you or whatever.
But if you put on a candle that smells good,
or a song that reminds you of being you know, young,
(14:27):
or on a certain vacation or with a certain person
or something, it can really change everything. This is why
I hand out little tattoos, you know, at my talks
that say it's easy and I like it. Because after
a while of saying it's easy and I like it,
it's easy and I like it. It's easy and I
like it, it really is easy, and you really do
start to like it. And this is a faster track
(14:50):
just thinking about how can I do this in a
way that isn't hurting me. I'm the only one who
suffers when I'm cranky. Well, maybe other people suffers, but
I'm the one who suffers the most. And so if
I take time to be like, you know what, I'm
gonna do this laundry with love, or I'm gonna do
this favor, or ask people around me how can I
(15:11):
support you more? Or telling my kids all the things
that I love and appreciate about them, instead of constantly
focusing on what they should be doing, or what they missed,
or how they messed up, or how messy goodness sakes,
how messy their rooms are. What about when the rooms
are clean? Are you mentioning it? You know, we really
need to focus on the good. And then you get
to be like, you know what, my kid has a
(15:33):
messy room, but I'm really glad that when I give
them a deadline. My kids like deadlines. They need it.
They get their room clean by Friday or whatever it is.
And one way that you can get yourself from feeling overwhelmed,
especially when we're moving into the most busiest time of
the year, is do not for goodness sakes, do not
go into after the holidays, this after the holidays, at
(15:55):
after the holidays, this, Oh my gosh, you're wishing yourself
through the holidays. Be in the holidays, in enjoy the holidays.
How can you walk around and live lovingly? And I
know for some people it's very tough. It reminds them
of people that they loved, But even still, it's not
a requirement to feel sad and down about those things.
You can make those memories into pleasant moments of memories
(16:18):
and what your relationship was filled with, and how you'd
like to make memories now and do it like you
did or like that relative that you lost did it
or do it differently or whatever, Like, how can we
just tweak it just the littlest bit so we move
into feeling really good and filling ourselves to the top
with love and spreading that outward instead of feeling sad
(16:41):
and overwhelmed and worried and overworked and cranky and complaining
and all that, because I do know this complaining, you
know makes things worse one hundred percent of the time.
One of the ways that you can get out of
that that slump those habitual thinking, because it's all it
is is thinking habits, that's all it is. You got
to notice it. You gotta be oh, yeah, I'm having
(17:01):
one of those thoughts, like there it is. You don't
need to change the thought. You don't have to give
it a new thought. I mean, if you want to,
you can, but just noticing it. Oh, there's a thought
that I keep having. There's one of the thoughts I
don't want to have anymore. You become a little curious
about it, you're aware of it, and then you can
bring love into that situation. I don't care what's going on.
There is always room for love. There always is. And
(17:23):
I know at Christmas I talk a lot about love,
but love every single day, every single moment. How can
you do it? Well? What one thing that you can
do is you can love your breath and you can
ask yourself, am I still breathing? And there is no
way to answer that question unless you come into this
very moment right now. Am I still breathing? Check physically,
(17:44):
check and see if you are still breathing. Am I
still breathing? Yes? I am. You cannot be in a
different moment and answer that question. You have to be
in the moment that you're in, and there's always room
(18:06):
for love. I'm sending you so much love right now,
so much love and light. We're gonna take a quick
break and then we're gonna meditate together. Take a moment
(18:32):
now to find a comfortable seat, just taking a moment
to take a few deep breaths, breathing in your nose,
out of your mouth, and just after that one deep breath,
notice how your body settles in another long, slow, deep
(18:56):
breath in your nose, letting it all go out of
your mouth, and again noticing how your body just settles
right in parts of your body, really relaxed, breathing in
your nose, letting it all go out of your mouth,
(19:21):
with your chin level to the ground and sitting up.
I want you to imagine in your mind's eye, just
for a moment, a person or a sentient being, a creature,
a dog, a cap whatever that you love so much.
When you see this little being, you are filled to
(19:43):
the top with love, and just breathe that in and
take in their awareness, even if it's just in your imagination.
Take in this lovely image, the emotions surrounding it, and
just allow yourself to feel love, allow your body and
(20:05):
mind to bathe in it, to receive it and give it.
Just by thinking about this person or this creature. Notice
if you're smiling, Notice if your face has changed at all,
(20:28):
if anything in your guts are in your heart center,
just how your body feels when you are immersed in
love for a moment, and you can release that image
(20:50):
now and just noticing what it has left, what markets
left on your body, on your mind on this moment
and for a few minutes. I want you to just
breathe in the word think and breathe out the word you.
So however your breath is going, you don't have to
(21:13):
change it. Just associate your inhales with think and your
exhales with you. It may be slow and maybe fast
and maybe long. It doesn't matter. You're just thank you,
thank you. I'm going to leave you a few moments
with this mantra, and when you don't see it in
(21:36):
your mind anymore, you're not silently saying it to yourself anymore.
With each inhale and exhale, you just simply keep coming back.
If you notice that you're thinking about the future, the past,
or something else, just come back to think you and
(21:57):
I'll be back to guide you out. Thank you, USA,
(28:15):
Thank you, Thank you. Allow this mantra to fall away
from your awareness, keeping your eyes closed and your body still,
(28:38):
just noticing the effects of having sit for a few
minutes and meditation not a true gratitude practice. You have
to write anything down, you have to remember anything. You
just sat stillness and peace and love and gratitude. Take
(29:06):
a long, slow, deep breath in your nose, letting it
all go out of your mouth, another long, slow, deep
breath in your nose, letting it all go out of
your mouth. And again another deep breath in your nose,
(29:31):
letting it all go out of your mouth, and when
you're ready, you can open your beautiful eyes. Oh my goodness,
it was such a breath of fresh air to be
(29:52):
with you, to meditate with you. I've been recording these
videos for newrealitytv dot com and for Coxcommunication that they
picked up my podcast, and they've been playing my videos
on your view TV. And I have just neglected the
good old fashioned sit here in my pajamas in my
little pink treehouse and talk to my people. And so
(30:13):
I really feel your energy right now, and I am
so grateful for you. I'm literally tearing up right now.
I'm so grateful for anyone who listens. And if you
could just like and subscribe and maybe make a comment
and certainly give me any feedback that you have, I
would love to hear how to make things better. My
(30:37):
email address is Sherry C.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
H e.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Ri I at Thestress Theapist dot com. You can find
me on Instagram, the Stress Therapist and Twitter at stress Therapy.
I would love, love love to hear from you. I
appreciate you more than I can express. Really, really, I
really really appreciate you, and I hope you have a beautiful,
(31:02):
fill to the top, loving, wonderful Thanksgiving Sending you so
much love and light, and certainly let me know how
I can make your life better. You can come on
and retreat with me. My newsletter is going to be
coming out here really soon with my gift Guide. I
put a lot of work into that every year. If
(31:24):
you'd like to get on the mail or go to
my website and sign up, or send me an email
at Sherry at thestress Therapist dot com. I love you,
have a lovely, lovely day. Hi, y'all feeling after that
stress therapy session? Good? Awesome? Check out the show notes
to connect with me the Stress Therapist on social media,
at the stress Therapist on Instagram and at stress Therapy
(31:47):
on Twitter. You can always go to I Loovethapy dot
com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and
other offerings that I have there. If you live in
Georgia and you're ready to be one of my clients,
go to my website to find out how you can
sign up a free face to face consultation with me
at the very least jump by my mailer so you
don't stress or miss one thing until next time. Have
(32:09):
a lovely, lovely day,
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