August 11, 2024 • 59 mins
In this thought-provoking episode of the Students of Life Podcast, we dive deep into one of life's most compelling questions: What is our purpose? Some people seem to be born with a clear sense of direction, an innate understanding of what they are meant to do. For others, purpose is a puzzle, a journey that can take a lifetime to solve. We explore the diverse paths to discovering purpose, whether it’s a sudden revelation or a gradual process. Join us as we discuss how finding purpose can transform your life, guiding you towards continuous growth, fulfillment, and a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. Whether you're still searching or believe you've found your path, this episode offers insights and inspiration for everyone on the journey of life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to the Student of Life podcast. I am Coordiney
and with me is my sidekick.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Erica.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Who are you sidekick?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I am Erica. I am Courtney's wife.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
You like being my side kick? No? You hesitated? You hesitated.
I didn't appreciate it. You know what, this is a
crazy start already it is.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I want to stop it.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Now, we're gonna have to slop. We go keep this going,
we go keep it going. Okay, So this episode that
we're doing, this is about It's about purpose and the
reason that we exist. So we'll get this going. So
what is the What is the definition of purpose?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But by definition, purpose is something set up as an
object or end to be attained, an intention, resolution, determination,
a subject under discussion, or an action in course of execution. Also,
purpose is the reason for which something is done or created,
or for which something exists. It's supposed to be a
meaning in life. You're guiding action, your decisions, and your goals.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You know what I've experienced is that, you know, we
always talk about purpose like it's supposed to be I
think setting stone, like if you don't find it, then
you just don't have it. Or is this supposed to
be the thing that you have for the rest of
your life. But that's not actually true, not from my experience.
What you think about that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I don't think, well, everyone has a purpose, whether they
find it or not. It's something completely different. That's a
completely different conversation. Right, those of us who have a purpose,
who find your purpose, we tend to live more fulfilled,
more happy lives, right, a little bit longer lives, if
you will. And I think that comes just strictly based
(02:30):
off of the fact that we have something to do,
something to chase, something that matters, something that makes you
want to get up in the morning.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
So you really think that we all have for a purpose.
I think a little bit different about that one.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I think we all have some sort of purpose.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes, I think that, Yeah, I mean I think ours
is more so we don't have purpose if we find it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, I think everyone has purpose, right, even if your
purpose here it's just to help somebody else be great.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Well, I agree with that, agree with that, but you
know you still have to find that that that's what
you're supposed to do because in the world we live.
You know, what I've seen is that we always think
is about us, and we believe that our purpose can't
be just in helping somebody else because it might not
always be money in that, you know, helping our kids.
(03:18):
You know, there might not be any monetary value in
making sure that those kids are great, or our nephews
or nieces are great, our sisters are brothers are much
better than us, if that's our gift. But we live
in a world where we believe that, you know, we
have to be monetarily, you know, compensated for our purpose,
and we get lost in them sometimes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And I think that's concerning.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I think that is the American culture overall, because purpose
is not the samewhere else.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, right, I.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Think we'll talk about religion for a second. People who
are who are Hindus or people who are Buddhists, right,
purpose is completely different for them, yea. Their purpose is
never tied to money, like but we'll just use Buddhism
because you know, I love Buddhism, right, So we'll just
use Boosom for a minute. Their purpose is not to
set out to follow this strict set of guidelines or rules,
(04:13):
or they don't set out to find their life's purpose
in doing for other people. Their life's purpose is to
become the best person they can be while they are
on this trip here.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But that's the case, then purpose is cultural too.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
That absolutely yes, like most things, you know, I don't
I don't believe that. Like I said before, purpose is
not something that is set in stone. We've had this
conversation a million times.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's not set in stone.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
It's not cookie cutter. And what works for me may
not work for you.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But at the end of the day, you know, we
all got out.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
You know, you've got your view of you know mine
is you know, we don't have purpose until we find it. Yeah,
there's nothing. It's nothing that we're given under certain circumstances
because it's rare cases.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
All right, So let me ask you this.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Rare cases.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Let me ask you this. So we don't have purpose
until we find it. Right, But honestly, what if someone's
purpose right is to be here, to be a great
mother or great father, Like maybe your early life wasn't
worth anything, It wasn't great, it wasn't grand, but you
raise exceptional children. But that's a part of purpose though,
(05:24):
But what if we don't know that's our purpose?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, I don't know what happens when we don't know
that's our purpose. But it can't be a purpose because
I believe that one right there is overlooked, you know,
because we you know, because the culture is about monetary
compensation and how that equates to purpose. But sometimes purpose
is to give life to others. Two absolutely, and that
(05:50):
just means being a good parent, you know, like you
know what, I'm going to make sure that that never
happens to you know, what happened to me as a
kid will not happen going forward in the future for
my kid that I try to make sure that they
learn enough where it doesn't happen to to the kids
they raise, which is my grandkids.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Well, which are my grand kids?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
What's funny about that? What you know those of us
who are Southern, while you and I would call that purpose,
so then it's called that breakage generational curses. Yeah, it's
the same exact thing.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So I believe that being a good parent is can
be a purpose, you know, no compensation in it, but
to break what has happened before. Oh that's a great thing.
And there's multiple ways to have purposes.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
In this life.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, you know, but again, right, part of the purposes,
I mean, part of the definition for purpose is fulfillment
and motivation. H being a parent, I would love for
our children to be better than we were.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I do. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Look, and I'm not bringing this up just because I
love her to death. Okay, well I am, but but true, No, Mama,
this is this one is about her. It was one day.
I mean it was, you know, not long ago before
she passed. It was it was earlier. It had been
(07:10):
like if I can't remember exactly, but it was some
time before she passed, and I was sitting in the chair,
you know, picking up exactly one day, I was picking
him up, and she was sitting in her chair, playing
her casino game with her glasses, you know, right at
the tip of her nose, you know, not really caring
about being bothered, you know, but she didn't care about
(07:31):
bothered him. But I'm just looking at him, staring, staring
at her. And I looked at Him'm like, Mama, I said,
how did you do this?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
She said? Do what? Baby?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
She said, do what? I'm like, how did you maintain
this all these years? You know, the house, us, you know, daddy,
you know all of it.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
How did you do this? He said? Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, baby, you know I'm not going to say the explicit,
but you know you can feel it in a place
of y'all want to she said. She said, well, Sweeten, no,
you your sister, your father, his house.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
That was my efing job. She said, that's what I
was supposed to do. You know.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
So when I loved doing that, I did it all
the time. But she did that, you know, not necessarily
because as she she was raised, but she cared about it.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
She found meaning it, She found meaning in it, she
really did.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And she never said that she was tired, even though
as an adult when I look back, I can see
that she was, but she never complained about it. She
did it consistently all the time, and to me, she
found purpose in that.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
She found meaning in that. It meant something.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And so you know, she wasn't rich, wealthy, but she
was a damn good mama. Absolutely, she was a damn
good absolutely, and I never heard that woman complain about
doing her job.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
You know, it's funny because I I can fully attest
to everything you're saying. Yep, see how I met her
when I was sixteen, correct, So she had a direct
hand in raising me. Yeah, from twenty years exactly twenty
years because she passed right after my thirty sixth birthday. Yep,
so it was exactly twenty years that lady raised me
to be one of her own children.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So that's the one for sure, I mean, and that
that one sticks with me because she never complained about that.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
That has become a man from my house at all.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
She did what she did because that's what she was
supposed to do. She never complained about it. She never
complained about being a mother or doing her role as
being a wife. She never complained about cleaning up, washing
dishes or doing anything. She never complained because you know what,
that was her effing job.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah. But you know, like what's funny about that too,
is there was another side to her, yeah, you know
what I mean, like why she did everything that she
was supposed to do quote unquote supposed to do as
a mother, as a wife. She was also she found
the ways to still be an individual and she was
extremely creative. That she was, I mean extremely from the
sewing to the painting, to the coloring to the drawing
(10:03):
with her grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Well in the part said no one saw, she would
strip furniture as the way down twenty layers and started
all the way over from scratch, still in their kitchen
to this day. Yeah, that's that's what she did. She
had her thing she did, you know. And but that's
a big part of why I became where I became though,
because I wouldness that, I wouldn't stand you're always with her,
(10:28):
that was always with her. Yeah, that was a whipper.
But let's get sort of approaching some of these these topics.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Though, So you know, there are there are a few
uncommon ways that people have or do find their purpose.
One of the biggest ways is adversity and loss right.
And I'm gonna talk about two topics here, completely different. Right.
Of course, you know, we have the one where you
lose your job, you lose everything, like financially, you know,
(10:58):
you you hit rock bottom, right, you got to come
back from that. And while most people do, like those
of us you know, who have drive, who have ambition,
who care about what our life becomes, we always bounce back.
And there's been a time you know where you and
I bounce back from that. But on the other side
of that, you talk about loss right, And when I
say lost, I mean like, say you have a relative
(11:23):
who dies from some extremely rare disease and now you're
bringing awareness to it, or God forbid, but you lose
your child to sex trafficking, and you now make it
your life's goal to make sure that no other parent
loses their son of their daughter this way, you know.
Or maybe like younger Erica, right, you have a relative
(11:45):
you love with your whole heart who you see struggle
with health conditions, different kind of their whole life, and
then you're like, wait, how what can I do to
make sure that other people don't feel this? So you
go to nursing school, you become a doctor, right, Or
maybe you lose your parent to incarceration for someone that
wasn't their fault, they were wrongfully incarcerated. Now you're a lawyer.
(12:11):
So adversity and loss is one of the greatest motivators
for someone to find their purpose.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
No, I was just thinking about that one.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's only a couple of things that come to mind,
come to mind historically, that comes to mind, and these
are important and sometimes I have to grab a hold
of these, just you know, to resent on myself and say, hey,
things going to be better than you think they are.
One of them was definitely Nelson Mandela. It was him.
(12:44):
I don't know if people know what he did before
he got in prison, but that ain't you know, you know,
I mean he was a lawyer, you know, he did
he did a lot, you know, before he got in prison.
But it's when he got in prison it's the one
that struck me the moment. It's because because we're talking
about purpose, the same thing he was doing before he
(13:06):
got in prison, it's the same thing he did when
he got in prison. Yes, still saving people, you know,
finding meaning in his work.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Even when he was behind bars. It didn't stop him.
And then he still got out twenty seven years later, twenty.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Seven years later, okay, it became the president of South
Africa to stop the things that he started from the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Beginning, came full circle, came full circle.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
But those twenty seven years is the most important part
for me because that's when most people give up.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
That's when we give up.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Look, most of us in our day to day life
are not inconcerated like that for twenty seven years. We
can't even get past, you know, a couple of years
of transgression or things that's gone bad.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
You know, without giving up or quitting, we can't do it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
But he held on for it for twenty seven years
and he got out and still fulfilled.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
His fucking purpose. Excuse me, he did, but he.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Did, he did. He came full circle. Literally, he never
gave me loved by an entire country.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
And that one right there, that one, you know, when
when I find myself, you know, feel like I'm like
not grateful for where I am. I think about that story.
That man was in consprated for twenty seven years. He
held on to that purpose for twenty seven years, the
same thing he went in for, he held on to it.
He served, and then he got out and served again.
(14:41):
He never let go of it, never let go, never
let go. So yeah, that one, that one strikes me.
That was the one historical reference. But the second one
I'm not sure if many people are familiar with, but
it was Victor Frankel. He did the he wrote the
book Man Search for Meaning. He was It was a
(15:03):
he was a he was a he was was like
a psychiatrist, he was a therapist.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
But he.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Was captured during the Holocaust. That's that's what happened to him.
And at the end of the whole thing is that
what he went in with he didn't return with. He
lost everything. And then you know, so he lost father wife.
You know, he didn't know that he lost his wife
(15:32):
until it was all over. He didn't know, He didn't know.
And that book, you know, Man's Social Meaning is one
of the best books, you know, written to this day.
But the whole book was about you know, finding meaning
even in adversity and lost and.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
That's like part of that book.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
What he had said was this right here, He was like,
you know, most of the people they did didn't lose,
you know, or they didn't die because they didn't have
medication or because they didn't have because they didn't have food.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
He said, they.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
They lost because or they died because they didn't have
meaning no more. They gave up a long time ago,
he said. In those who found meaning and continuing to
live are the ones who normally survived. And that one
that shit struck me even to this day, even to
this day, is that we don't find the meaning even
(16:33):
in the hard times.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So in that case, purpose and perseverance go together.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Yeah, yeah, they do, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
And you know, historically, like I said, you know, based
on what he did his work and he got out
and he continued to do the work that he did
before he entered because when he before he before he
got captured and went to Auschwitz, what he did. He
was a he was a therapist. He was a he
was a he was a psychiatrist. That's what he did.
And then when he got out, he continued to do
(17:04):
that work and help Holocaust survivors too, That's what he did.
And even though he lost his wife. You know, he
loved her, he said, but I still held on to her.
But that's still my reason for existence too. That's still
while I'm here. You know, even through loss, there's still
meaning in my life. And that's something that most of
us can't hold on to and we can't understand. We
(17:25):
can't comprehend it because it hurts so bad when we
go through something. It's hard for us to continue on
it is. But those two stories right there are the
ones that struck me the most because those me and
the same thing they were doing before they continue to
do afterwards. They always found the purpose and meaning in life,
(17:45):
regardless of how bad it was. And sometimes, you know,
the nihilistic view is life has no purpose, that's it.
But he made me think different about that, because even
through the hard times, we can still keep moving forward.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Gang.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah, you know, that's something that well, I didn't know
anything about this book until you just brought it up.
But as you know, because you've been with me forever,
that that's literally how I live my life. And it's
not about being you know, a glass half empty, glass
half full kind of person. Optimist, specimists in the words
of Gangang, keep living.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, keep on living, keep living.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
It gets better, you know. And then that actually leads
me into my next topic, serendipitous encounters. Right, you know,
there are sometimes where maybe you're going along, you're depressed,
you've had like all of these these terrible feelings and ideas,
(18:46):
and you feel like you're worthless in your life. Is
nothing in there? Boom, out of the clear blue sky,
somebody lands in your face. One simple conversation can change
the whole trajectory of your life.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah, well, have I had one of those? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Indirectly, no matter I'm I'm saying, I have, indirectly, Like
why it wasn't necessarily for me, It was with you, Okay.
You know when we met Scott Lamb, right, I was.
I was at that event with you, but the event
was of course for you, about the tickets for you,
And we went and well, it had an impact on me,
(19:28):
it had an even bigger impact on you. And then
doing that it set us on a completely different trajectory.
So that one encounter was somebody who took time, like
after the event was over, who pushed to the side
and talk to you about what you were doing. It's
kind of what got us here even today.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
It is you know, it was one moment in that uh,
that encounter that h that I even still think about
it to this day and what there was, uh he
was talking about, you know how we always find out
you know, we always say, hey, I can't afford it.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Hey, I can't afford it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You know, anytime something important comes up, you know, something
that you're supposed to do, you always say, I I.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Can't afford it.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
But what he said in that account was you always
say you can't afford it, he said, But it's anything else,
he said, I guarantee you you always find a way
anytime you say you can't afford it. But what happens
do you find a way? Does it always come through?
He said, yeah, no, one can really deny no matter
(20:34):
how much money you have, we always end up finding
the way. He said, So why do you always say,
you can't do it when it's actually mean some he said.
Why do you never find a way when it actually
means something?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
He said, No.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
One ever finds the way, he said, when you want
those pair of shoes you know what, expensive, But you
know what, you always find a way. Hey, that bill
needs to be paid. Hey I don't have the money.
But you know what, you always find a way lifege vacations,
you always find a way, he said. But when it
comes to something that's going to actually benefit your life,
(21:11):
you never find a way, he said.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But it still applies because we always find a way.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And that one right there stuck with me for the
rest of my life because at that point I had
to start changing my language and how I speak about
stuff of the I can'ts because even to me myself,
even in that moment, I always did even when you know,
like it was something small, but when it was big,
I always find a way to get out of it.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I always find a way to get.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Out of it, especially once for yourself person.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, when it's for myself person, I always find a
way to get out of it, to rob myself of it.
But he changed me on that one, you know, so
that didn't counter is definitely the one, and I believe
we always need to search for it. It might not be
so obvious. It's that one for most people, though, and
that's what we have to get to. It might not
be that obvious. Maybe it might be something small, incremental.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
It might be I mean, it could be Honestly, it
could be something as simple as out of a whole conversation,
maybe one or two citizens. And that's all you take
from it. But that's all you were meant to take
from it. That was enough. Whatever renews whatever passion or
spark that you once had, or maybe even even shows
you something new, something different. Those are purposeful encounters and
(22:26):
I definitely appreciate them.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, so Scott Lamb did have a huge impact on
me and you and that and that. Yeah, but in
that seminar, you know, we paid for it, but hey,
it was worth paying for.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Definitely pay for.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
As you just said, you know, sometimes you don't take
just a few just a little bit out of it. Well,
that was the one that I took out of it,
because sometimes you just gotta go all in for it.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
You got to go in for it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So you know that you also have people who are
I think this is just me personally. I believe that artists,
whether it's fine art, digital art, poets, singers, songwriters, photographers, right, engineers,
because engineers are artists too. I don't care what anybody says.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Who said they would a lot of people that's that's stupid.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
But you know, being able to to find purpose in
the blank canvas, like I said, whether it's paper and
actual canvas, or if it's just a melody in your head, right,
being able to link that to something and make it
beautiful and that that that's fulfilling for you. And that's
(23:41):
amazing that everyone can't do that. Actually, most people can't
do that.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
They can't do it, you know. But this is what
I you know, I'm approached this in a couple a
couple of ways. Dealing with purpose, you know, also is
sometimes we deal deal with the rare cases of scenarios, Okay,
very rare, you know, where herpose. You know, some people
just innately have it from the get go, they just
(24:08):
have it, you know. Or people get inspired extremely young
and they carried for the rest of their damn life.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
It's rare that it happens, but it happens. I promise.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I can't remember the young girl's name, but I think
she lived across seeds. You can probably find on Instagram today.
But her name was Akeana. Her name was Okeana, and
and she said, hey, you know, God told me the paint.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I remember her. She was little when she.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Started, well, she was young.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
She had been when I saw it had been about
like twelve years ago, maybe about twelve years ago, so
that means you to put her around the age of
maybe thirty today, somewhere around. She was a kid, and
she was a kid, and she said, God told me to,
and she started to paint. Painted, and her parents were
her manager, and they just made a career out of
(25:06):
this thing for you know, with her, you know, because
there was her purpose and she still care with that
purpose on to this day. But many people don't have
that starting out. You know, most people don't know what
the hell they're going to do starting out. Most people
got to search for it, you know what I'm saying,
you know, but God told her to and she never
(25:26):
let go of it even to this day, you know.
So to me, that's a rare case you know, of
being artistic, you know what I'm saying, you know, and
finding purpose. But the second one would be is this
because this one came in a came to this young
man differently, this was Moles Bowles. That's much respect to
(25:48):
the Mephian. Okay, you know on Shark Tank, congratulations to
that one. But at this point in his life, he
made more money than some people will ever see in
their life. He has like at this point, I think
he's made like a million dollars and he's years He
probably just graduated high school not long ago, you know
(26:12):
what I'm saying, Like he has to be like pretty
much like going into college kind of, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
That's that's that's where he's at. He's like going to college.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
But I find it more interesting of how he started
this and Howard began. How it began is he was
inspired by his grandmother because she sold and she showed
him how to sew. And once he learned how to sew,
he started making his own bows and bow ties.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
And his mother supported him all the way through.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And so Mole to this day as a Memphis I
mean a business a Memphis, and he's making and he
has made upwards to a million dollars at this point
in his life, and he's pretty much just freshly out
of high school.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You are absolutely right, but let me use some facts. Okay,
let's just take thing mos Mosaiah Bridges. He is the
eighteen year old president and creative director of Mo's Bows
Handmade bow Ties, where they sell specifically handmade bow ties, neckties,
pocket squares, and other apparel for men. This young fella
(27:19):
is eighteen years old. Well, I'm sorry, he's now twenty
two years old now and at the age of twenty two,
this young fellow is worth two million dollars. But he
started from his grandmother's his grandma's passion. Grandma taught him.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So taught him out of soul, but he never let
it go. And he I think you he launched a
business like around nine years old. It was nine years old,
nine years old, so his grandmother had to have shown
him a few years earlier, had to had to show
him a few years earlier.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
But he never let it go.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
But sometimes, you know, we're dealing with a scenario where
you know, like that's.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Artistic, that's a different type of artistic and being a painter.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, fashion design is still art, right, but.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
It's still art.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
But he held on to it, and I think that's
the one that intrigues me more that the people who
find it and they never let it go. Now they
find it, you know what, they don't deny a fucking call.
They hold on to it for the rest of their life.
This is what I do. They did to not a call.
I feel I feel like I'm feeling like, oh, I'm
like Joseph Campbell, denied a call, accepting the call. But
(28:26):
you know, but they did it not a call, they
accepted it, and they held on to it for the
rest of their life, right, you know, like like mol
from from eight to twenty two.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I mean, that's a lot of consistency.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Okay, that's he's still going. He is, he is still going.
But you know what's crazy though, Damon John took a
chance on the kid.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
He did it.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
He saw something.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
We can't be consistent our everyday life. Okay, we can't
even be consistent in our everyday life. No, this kid
was consistent from eighteen to twenty two.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But you know, I believe there are a lot of
stories about children like that that that are that are skipped,
that are left out because a lot of folks believe
that you have to be an adult to find your purpose.
The Aana and Mo prove otherwise, and there are countless
other children who have found purpose and become successful.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
You know, Akana, she was inspired by by something higher,
higher than herself.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
The divine calling.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yeah, divine calling. She was a mole.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Just the love of a parent or or or love
them who inspired you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yes that again, you know, back to the original original
concept of the show. Is there there are a plethora
of ways to find one's purpose.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It is, you know. But at the same time, you know,
sometimes we we also deny calling to run from it
from you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Know about that?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Oh yeah, how that work out for you? I didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It didn't work out too well. But at the same time,
it saved me too, did Yeah, it ran from it,
but to save me.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
No, what brought you right back?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah it did?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I mean that was that was that was That was
a rough time, you know, but but but that was
me dealing with a lot of burnout as well.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I dealt with a lot of burnout during that time
when I gave up on it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah that was I was also I was tired. But
the same thing I ran away from it was the
same thing that saved me too. M not just me,
but it saved us, put it. It put us back
in there in a better place.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
It did, it did.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
But uh, but that was that was a hell of
a hell of a journey though, you know. And that
journey was you remember being accused of stealing m thirty
six thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
But we okay, because you brought that up. You have
to tell the whole story and how you still won
that one.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
No, I don't know if I won that one, absolutely,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I don't think I want you won that one.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
There was.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I mean, there was a loss there, but there was
no great loss there.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
No, well I experienced a loss. We lost a lot,
you know, doing that one.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
We lost everything.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
We lost everything doing that one. You know, and we
had a new kid as well.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
She was four months older then, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
She was four months old, accused of sealing thirty six
thousand dollars. But you know, but even after, you know,
everything was settled, you know, hey, everything got back to normal.
Everything was, when I say normal, not being accused of
all the money not being missing.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
But it never was.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
And I had to double down and make sure that
we got back to what we needed to be. And
the only thing that I could do was what I did.
I designed, I created websites. I was artistic. And that
gift and that ability is what saved us.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
That gift and ability has allowed us to purchase well,
purchase one and build another home before we were forty.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
It did to give them, so so I'm grateful for it.
But the thing is this right here, and the whole
purpose of saying there was this. You know, sometimes you
just can't deny a call, right you You you are
what you are, And I was denying what I was
and what I was. I was when I was from
when I was young, the.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Time you were getting in trouble for drawing on test papers.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's that's spread I was drawn on test papers. Yeah,
Mama beat the hell out of me for that one.
Made me a little bit a little bit apprehensive about
drawing for a minute.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
But it didn't stop.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It didn't stop it.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
It didn't stop it.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
The whole art studio in the house, it didn't stop it.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
It didn't stop it, you know, all right, you know,
So so that right there a combination of what my
mother taught me and a combination also or what my
daddy was, you know, he was he was kind of
a hustler, because everybody in there at this point knows that.
You know, my mother was a creative, because we just
said it. She was a creative. My daddy was a hustler.
He wasn't a business man. He was kind of a hustle.
(33:03):
That's what he did.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
He was a hustle that did business.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Yeah. He he used to make barbecue grills.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
He used to make those barbecue grills, and I used
to help him, you know, put them together. Here we
had like this assembly line, you know. But the reason
it got better was because of my mother's you know,
she had a good mind, you know. But we had
learned about that one one day and he would put
these we would put these grills on the sixteen foot trailer.
Put these grills on the six foot trailer, and we
would go down the third street in front of the
(33:30):
Crystal Palace. All Mefians know what that is, Yes, we
know what that is. Someday we wouldn't sell. Some days
we would sell all out. We'd have ten grills on
the sixteen foot trailer and we would sell every last
one of them.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Some days we didn't sell one.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
We were like, hey, hey, so just because we didn't sell,
we get out here and do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
That's what we did.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Or the first businesses and I was ever a part
of was because of him.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
That's entrepreneurship in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, you know it was. I was going into the
fifth grade and we started a lawn service business. We
did it the whole summer, you know, being going into
the field grade and making six hundred dollars by the
end or something that was that was good.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Come up. I was fine with that, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
And you know, so it was the creativity, and it
was what he taught me through his creation of barbecue
grills and how he made things to sell.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
This is what made me who I am today.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
And so if I never learned the creativity, or if
I never learned the aspects of what he did when
making and selling barbecue grills, I don't think that we
ever would have came out of that scenario.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
I don't think we.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Ever would have came out of it because not right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
It was it was a purpose.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It was a purpose that drove mem It was it
was that what got me out of it, or help
us get out of that. One did because out of
that hole. So I was very grateful for not continuing
to deny to call to a degree.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, yeah, But speaking about you know, personal purpose, I
found mine in a different way. You know, we had
I don't talk about him near as often as I
should because it's still hard. But yeah, my papa, right,
and my whole life, he was always there. He was
always a very very very very prominent male figure in
(35:17):
my life. He was my grandfather, but he also raised me.
My grandparents raised me. But when I got to my
teen years, you know, he started to get sick. He
got very sick. So we were in other hospital a lot,
you know, and through that, I was like, you know what,
(35:39):
I graduated and going to nursing school because I need
to know how to better take care of him, because
I want to be the one to make sure he's okay,
because had he ever gotten to the point to where
he needed to go to like a sister of living
or a skilled living facility, he wasn't going. He was
going to be with me. And I even told you that,
like I would never put him somewhere, I would move
him in with us first. Well unfortunately we didn't make
it there. But out of that, right, watching him and
(36:04):
my grandmother, my mean mom. They cared for people their
entire life like that, I mean their entire life, so
my whole life, my whole adult life. There were always
cousins or friends or other family members around the day
that they cared for, took care of, helped raise, you know,
all those things. But him being who he was, he
made me both someone who was carrying compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic,
(36:27):
but a spitfire right like growing up I always had
I always had him, and I watched him you know,
you know Shelby Kenny Sheriffs. He was a shriner. He
was amazing. So he was always in the community doing things.
He was always out taking care of people or making
sure people were safe in some way, and him being
(36:48):
my role model and the person that I loved them
most on this earth. Without realizing it, I was shaping
and molding myself and to be something like him. But
it's why today I do what I do career wise
and how I became a life coach. There are multiple
ways to take care of people. Nursing for me didn't
work out for a lot of reasons, but once he
passed away, I didn't care any more. I didn't care
(37:08):
about being a nurse. I was doing that, it's true,
to take care of him, so when he wasn't here,
there was no purpose for that to me. And I
didn't want to be a nurse, you know. I've always
told you, like I always wanted to be incorporate in
some way, right, And I've made it there, and I'm very,
very good at my job. But even still today, I
lead with empathy and sympathy, right, And I have an
(37:33):
amazing staff of people who work for me. But that's
only because I'm open, I'm available, I'm honest, and they
know that irregardless to what happens, if you're right, I'm
going to protect you. But that came from somewhere, right.
That came from for me seeing that my whole life.
That came from me seeing my grandmother make sure that
her nieces and nephews were always safe and taken care
(37:55):
of when their parents weren't worth a day in raising them.
That came from me watching my grandpa ether care for
his friends or his loved ones. Because like little known
fact about him, he was adopted. He never he didn't
really get to know his real family, and he was
like I think he was in his thirties, he stumbled
across a sister and then he found you know, brothers
and things like that, and the airport be relationships. So
(38:16):
he had siblings on both sides. But even through all
of that, even when he was sick, he still made
sure that all those around him were okay. He still
took care of people. Because the day he died, matter
of fact, the day he died, he paid a speeding
ticket for me. But that's who he was, That's who
Larry was.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
But you cared that even how you care about your
family even to this day, you know, whenever, not even
just your family, but hell, your friends too.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, even you know all of us. You know, you're
always there.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
But you know, but I cannot. Now I got to
get props where they do right when it comes to
this family thing. The way I can for my family
is Teresa through went through. Yeah, I know, through went through.
Like the way I take care of you and the
kids and the nieces and nephew that's.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Teresa because it was job, just like.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
That's them my fucking job. And you know but outside
of like my everyday work, it's a job that I
honestly enjoy. Yeah, Like I love knowing that you know
our two children I have, but then the other three,
you know, so there's a total of five kids that
we hell take care of. Even though they're grown. I
still they're okay, they're happy. I revel in the fact
(39:25):
that that those kids will call me and say, hey,
guess what I did today, Guess what I learned today.
You know how when I was calling you crying last
week and I was sad about X, Y and Z,
it's better, You were right. It worked out. Thank you
for being there.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But you know, I couldn't imagine, you know, being a
PARENTI parensial figure. And I regret doing this thing every day,
like whenever I see you. Whenever I see you, I
regret I did this. But you know, you know, at
this point in my life. No, no, we got a
daughter that's going on twelve, a three year old out
(40:00):
one day in my life.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Have I ever regretted, No, ever, No being there for them.
I would do it again.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I look, I would do it every time.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I would do it again and again and again.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
No, because I love the fact that you I we
can sit here and see them grow and develop and
be more than what they are. I love playing that
pivotal role in a life and then being who they are,
and it brings me joy when I think about it.
You know, some days, you know, just being who I am,
(40:32):
it's it's rough to hold on to it, but you know,
but when I see them, they're so full of potential
there and it gives me.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Joy, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
And and so I guess if we try to make
this full circle in ways that sometimes you just can't
deny your purpose, right, No, don't deny your call.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Don't deny the call.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
And I think purpose again, you know, as I've said,
it comes from many different places. It does like my
person or what I what I grew into. It started
with my me, Mama, Papa. Right then I met your
mom and dad and it just solidified it, you know,
it became you take care of those that you love.
And I don't mind doing it. Like I have. I
(41:17):
have countless friends, right who until I think I told you,
like last year just out of the blue, like I
was depressed last year a lot, but you know there
were friends who just I mean out of the blue,
which just like they would text me or like call
me or even send me like dms on Facebook about
a time where like I had a positive impact on them.
(41:41):
I didn't realize it. It was just me being me,
and so I didn't I didn't think that anything that
I did really mattered in that way, because that's all
I know to do. He if, I love y'all, show you,
I look at you. I care about you. That's just
who I am. That includes you know, people who work
for me. But at the end of the day, my
purpose came. My overroll purpers came from great loss because
(42:04):
once I lost my grandfather, I lost everything else around me,
and I gave up. I gave up for quite well,
you know that for quite some time, I was like, screwed.
I don't care about people or anything else that happened.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Okay, I gotta that's say my question with this one.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
You're smiling. I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
It was just something I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
How many people do you think, you know that don't
have a struggle story after you try to create one
just so they could be relatable.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Oh have you seen social media millions?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:32):
No, I don't millions.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
You know, I don't do social media like that.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I mean, like, you know, what's funny is like we
live in an age now, an age of influencers, excuse me.
We live in an age of influencers, and it's crazy
to me how a lot of these influencers have the
same exact story until friends come out and say, hey,
you never did that, that never happened to you, so
you know, it happens. It happens to countless people, and
(42:58):
countless people are affected by that, and it's kind of funny, actually,
I just it was.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
One of those things I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
It's kind of funny, like how many people are not homeless,
you know, have not been homeless, but they created a
homeless story or what they had to live in their
car just so they can tell people that, yeah, just
so you have some loss, and they can be a
little bit relatable, you know, because because some people don't
grow up with struggle.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
They don't, they don't.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
But but you know what stopped wait a minute, hold
that thought, because we have a very close friend, very
very close friends, who technically did not grow up a
struggle but she she she has gone down through there
in her adult life.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I do know.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
And mind you, she had everything on silver platter handed
her great family, great life of an abundance of wealth.
But but on the flip side of that, but that
was that was created a different struggle for her.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
It did. I mean, but that was a lack of
parenting that too.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
It was a lack of a lot of things for her.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, well, you know, so back to parenting. I don't
ever say that you just throw money at your children
and tell them, hey, yes you can have this. That
don't spoil them to a fault to put it that way. Yeah,
don't ever do that, because that's what happened to her.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
And that and that story is still sad.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
It's very sad.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
And there was there was.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
A lot that ended up happening where where things still
weren't reconciled, you know, towards the towards the end exactly.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
But you know what's crazy about that too, even like,
even though she knows there were nannies and things like that,
she still grew up to be an amazing adult, full
of compassion, full of love, full of empathy.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
But that comes through you know.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
She she she took hold of the loss and made
something of it. She did, she made something of it.
And sometimes this is what you gotta do. You gotta
take it by the balls. Take the loss a by
the balls and just take control of it. Don't let it,
don't let it control you. You got to have control
over it. Sometimes and we let it get in the way.
We let the loss get in away. We never overcome it.
(44:57):
It's a challenge. No, even like when we from beginning,
loss has meaning. It does even when it goes unresolved,
it has meaning. You're not supposed to hold on to it.
It's not supposed to either way, at you for the
rest of your damn life. It's not supposed to, you
know what. Some things get resolved, some things don't.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
That's all right.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
But it's how you move forward. It's what means a lot.
It's how you move forward. It's how you go about
handling that loss or what you make of it. It's
really what you make of it.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
At that point. You can make it whatever you want to.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
You can either make it something positive or something negative,
you know. So so you know, just just coming back
to back to that old and I was just thinking
about that no year, It's like, I don't want to
how many people make.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
There are honestly, and it's sad, but yeah, but there
there are countless people who do that.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, and it's because you would be, but don't lie
to me to relate to me.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
One more this is this, This one is one of
also thought about. Is this what happens when somebody's denied purpose?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
M that's a hard one.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
What happens when you denied purpose?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
So I've been putting thought into this one, you know,
or what are the scenarios where you know, work where
people are literally denied purpose and not being what they.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
Need to be.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
So you know, just me be and who I am? Yeah,
a relationship life coach and all this. You see that
a lot in long term marriages, right, you see it
a lot because people fall into these.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Roles of are you trying to tell me something?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
No? Okay, trust me, I would ask you if I was,
oh so direct. I believe in taking shots.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Pal. Oh it's a turn on.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
But you know, like you see it, like denied purpose
could be you know, we'll start with one, the very
easy one. But you have women who want to allow
man to be a man take care of them, right.
Part of a man's purpose is to be able to
care for their family, to be you know, a protector,
someone who guys, who teaches, someone who leads. And you
(47:09):
have some women who have been on their own for
so long or who have never seen a man in
the house, who honestly don't to let a man do that.
Does it mean she's not a good woman. It just
means she doesn't know how right. But in doing that,
this man's purpose is to nine. On the flip side
of that, right, you have men who are jealous of
their wives. Wife makes six figures. He makes forty five
(47:31):
thousand dollars a year, and he gives her hell about
her job every day, to the point where she wants
to quit, although she's thriving and she's functioning, and she's
doing a fantastic job.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
What about you know, safe in that scenario. Well, okay,
she is making a ton of money, and he's denied
purpose because he keeps bashing him because he don't make enough.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
That's for another topic that's coming. We'll talk about that
on other topic.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
And he's not purpose in that one. Okay, I got you, buddy.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Okay, But when I when I gave that about him,
we're talking about her. I know, we're discussing her and
what he is doing to her.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I know, But it was just one because I experience.
It's not that I experienced it, but I've seen it before.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
I was gonna say, you absolutely have never experienced that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
I had an experienced, but it was I brought it
up because I've seen it and it happens.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, it happens a lot, right, it happens a whole lot.
But but on the flip side of that, I'm telling
there are men who do the same exact thing.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
You know, and that one I guess just me being
hawaiim You know, I love origins, how things start, how
they all begin, you know, that's how I am.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
This is how I am. You know, so safe fings
is from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
When when purpose is denied, you know when I believe
kids can be denied purpose from the beginning, Oh god, yeah,
from the beginning. They never find out who the hell
they are.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Yeah, because they're denied it. You know, you have siblings
who have to raise their younger older siblings to raise
younger siblings purpose, and you don't get a chance to
be a child.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah, you never find out who you are, what you are,
what this thing means?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Right, yeah, you know, but then you had on the
flipside of that, you have parents like you and I
every time a child says I want to try that,
you go buy everything that goes along with it, Like
do you really like it? Let's see, let's find out,
because you know, by now our child should be like
a fashion designing engineer or something. She should all the
money we spent on things.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
She's not yet.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
But you know, you know, like but on the flip
side of that, there is a double sided coin, right,
like you have some parents who throw everything to their
children because they can't.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
But like say, offense like this, you know, from we're
going to use like the nine purpose going from a
political standpoint to a degree. Okay, this was like the
war on drugs when when crack was dropped into urban
cities a joke, right, some people never ever recovered from that,
(49:58):
you know, and the moment they got hooked on it
and they never recovered from it, they would denied purpose.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Not just them, but there are generations, but.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Their generations would deny purpose and meaning in life. Yes,
and when you never find it, you know what you
get those guys that's in prison some.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Days, or those guys that on the street corner.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
All day, all day.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
When you're denied purpose, that's the outcome sometimes yes, and
that one pisses me off, you know, because you know
we're talking about you.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Know what a social construct?
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Or when you drop damn guns into the cities. You know, hey,
we don't know where they came from. We know where
it came from. Well, that's conspiracies in me too, So.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
I will say, uh, we do.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
No drugs were dropped. We know that for a fact.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
I will say, you know, being a Mythian and someone
who has seen Memphis at its height and thriving and
being a beautiful city. Everyone came together up until today.
It's not conspiracy when you when you can see.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
This, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
So you deny somebody purpose like that, and they never
find him they won They never find himselves, They never
find the meaning in life right, and they become a
burden or a problem for other people too.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
Well.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
You know, while we're speaking about children's know.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
How it is in Memphis right now?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Do you remember last year? I think the little kid
was like nine or twelve years old, got arrested for
stealing cars and they asked him who shut him?
Speaker 3 (51:23):
Hew? Yeah, I do know about this story.
Speaker 2 (51:26):
His uncle shut him hell, and his mother was driving
him around. Yes, so you made this child's purpose in
life to be a criminal.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
To be a criminal.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
He wasn't even a teenager yet, but he got arrested.
But what happened to you? So you're having this child
take take the fall for the things that you've taught them,
you know, And that's another way to do not purpose right,
you know you you don't let your children thrive and
be children. You get in their way, robb the innocence
and their imagination.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yeah, you robbed somebody, You robber a key of innocence.
They'll never get that back.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
No, you spend farm far more of your life being
an adult than you do a children. Childhood is short.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
As Jordan Peterson would have said, you know, once a
kids robbed of his innocence, you know, he tries to
come back. The only thing he comes back, he or
she comes back. Ass it's a pissed off the dough
Hey man. We're seeing that real time.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
You see that in real time every day. There's one
more thing I want to bring up that we didn't
bring up. Another another uncommon way to find your purpose.
People don't speak about it at enough. In my opinion,
divorce divorce is not always a bad thing. You have
(52:36):
to know when to say is enough is enough? Right?
And there have been countless people It's not spoken enough
in my opinion, But there have been countless people who
who had a gift and the gift was suppressed while
they were married. Right then you get divorced, at boom,
you have a whole new life dead. Wait will not
(52:58):
it can, but it will deny you of a lot
of things, including purpose.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
It will deny you purpose and it that one also
goes into you know, sometimes people just not compatible to
oh dea, Yeah, you know, I understand. You know, Uh,
you can't be not denied purpose and that comes down
into a big compatibility issue. I think that goes into
a another episode or just another conversation in general. But
(53:23):
you can be denied purpose by by another individual if
they don't know who the hell they are to. Yes,
and sometimes you just gotta be okay, we'll calling it quits. Yes,
you have to, because if somebody wants something out of
their life and the other one don't, and they're preventing
you from getting there, you know what, sometimes it's just
(53:44):
what has to happen. I mean, you know, I'm I'm
I'm for fighting to the end if if that's what
we have to do. But sometimes purpose is purpose. Yeah,
and no one is is here to deny somebody of
their purpose. And no one can deny me your mind.
So please don't let nobody deny your purpose. No, because
now life ends up having going back to the begining,
(54:06):
no meaning. Life has meaning no matter how bad it is.
So that means even when you lose things, if you
have to lose a person, you know what, life still
has meaning.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
But if you lose them, you become better. Was it
ever a lost.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
No, No, just learning, just learning because it's you know,
you know how it is in life. Sometimes we don't
say that we failed or anything like that. No, it
was just a learning experience. That's just something I learned.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
So what you're saying is you keep living and you learn.
Speaker 3 (54:35):
Because living you learn, because life is a lesson. All right.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
So also this was supposed to be or not supposed
to be, but is the introductory episode to the Student
Life podcast. And this thing was about purpose. So what
is your purpose for wanting to do so?
Speaker 2 (54:52):
So everyone knows my purpose and my wife very simple.
It's people need a s place, need a space or
an outlet, because this will also be on Instagram and Facebook,
where you can go and you know you're not alone
right where you know so these feelings that I have
are valid and I don't need to pay a therapist
(55:14):
thousands of dollars a month to know that my feelings
are valid. To know that there is someone out there
who has the ability to motivate me when I can't
motivate myself. It's a safe space. It's a space where
where people can be themselves and know that acceptance is real.
To know that it's okay to say I don't know something,
(55:35):
that it's okay to interact with two people who are
human just like you, who have had pitfalls, who have
had wins, who have had losses. To know that the
human experience is real and affects everyone, even when people
say that it doesn't. Because as a society, I think
we're so caught up with with influencers and what things
have become that we forget the human experience is real.
(55:57):
It happens to literally everybody, and I'm not afraid to
bear to bear the bad parts of that. I'm not
afraid to show you my flaws and my losses, because
it may me who I am today, but I do
understand it.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
You know, we all have our our reasons why, you know,
why we do what we do. But the reason why
I do this is just because a few things I
experienced in my life.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
It was when when I was younger, when I was
younger and I was on my corporate job, and I
saw a woman you know, who worked for this company
for what this business for like forty eight plus years,
and they ended up doing like some management changes throughout
the time, you know, I was there. And so when
I getting ready to leave, they had just recently began
(56:41):
to get insurance and they had no. Four one K
and they end up finding that lady dedicated forty years,
forty plus years. And after that, you know, that woman left.
She only left with they She left with a box fan,
the only thing she left with. And then afterwards a
friend of ours was assisting her paying her bills. A
little bit after that, I was like, wow, life, I said, hell,
(57:03):
way more mean than that, more purpose, you know, and
not you know, believing or knowing that that is the
only way. It couldn't be the only way that at
the end of life. You know, after all of my
dedication after everything that I put in. That's the only
thing I received afterwards, or another gentleman when I saw
(57:25):
had was having a mild heart attack throughout the day.
Speaker 3 (57:27):
You know, he came back to work at nine thirty
that night. Of course, you know you were there. I
was there, You were there, and he.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Started working it then because I was at that point,
I was there for like twelve hours. Matter of fact,
had it been thirteen, No, it was twelve hours. It
was twelve hours at that point, about twelve hours. And
he came back to work, to work after having a
mile heart attack at work, you know, and at any
time he could have passed away on the damn job.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
He could have left then.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
You know, he was valuable for the job, yes he was,
but the same time that men had value to other
people too, to his family, and if he had left,
then that was it.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
That was it, you know.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
And I was like, life has to be more than
just moments like that. Life has to be more than
going to work every day, possibly dying on the job.
Life has to be more than going to work working
for somebody who don't give a damn about you and
the outcome of your life. Even after you dedicated everything
to him, it has to be more than that. And
(58:28):
I found tremendous purpose in seeing the outcomes of how
people were living these lives or what they experienced. How
like that can't be me, my family or the people
I love, and even the people that I don't know,
if I can expire them to be more or do better,
you know, they's grab a hold of something to continue on.
Speaker 3 (58:49):
That's that's that's the purpose of.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
Me doing this because it's more out here and hopefully
to help people explore the unknown and to find more
in life.
Speaker 3 (58:59):
You know, That's what I can about.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
I care about that deeply, and and and that student
of life, you're live and you learn. You know what
I'm saying, We live and we learn. So this is
been students like you guys. The first episode, We Live
and You Learn Life is a lesson m
Welcome to the Student of Life podcast. I am Coordiney
and with me is my sidekick.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Erica.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Who are you sidekick?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I am Erica. I am Courtney's wife.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
You like being my side kick? No? You hesitated? You hesitated.
I didn't appreciate it. You know what, this is a
crazy start already it is.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I want to stop it.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Now, we're gonna have to slop. We go keep this going,
we go keep it going. Okay, So this episode that
we're doing, this is about It's about purpose and the
reason that we exist. So we'll get this going. So
what is the What is the definition of purpose?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But by definition, purpose is something set up as an
object or end to be attained, an intention, resolution, determination,
a subject under discussion, or an action in course of execution. Also,
purpose is the reason for which something is done or created,
or for which something exists. It's supposed to be a
meaning in life. You're guiding action, your decisions, and your goals.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You know what I've experienced is that, you know, we
always talk about purpose like it's supposed to be I
think setting stone, like if you don't find it, then
you just don't have it. Or is this supposed to
be the thing that you have for the rest of
your life. But that's not actually true, not from my experience.
What you think about that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I don't think, well, everyone has a purpose, whether they
find it or not. It's something completely different. That's a
completely different conversation. Right, those of us who have a purpose,
who find your purpose, we tend to live more fulfilled,
more happy lives, right, a little bit longer lives, if
you will. And I think that comes just strictly based
(02:30):
off of the fact that we have something to do,
something to chase, something that matters, something that makes you
want to get up in the morning.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
So you really think that we all have for a purpose.
I think a little bit different about that one.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I think we all have some sort of purpose.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes, I think that, Yeah, I mean I think ours
is more so we don't have purpose if we find it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, I think everyone has purpose, right, even if your
purpose here it's just to help somebody else be great.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Well, I agree with that, agree with that, but you
know you still have to find that that that's what
you're supposed to do because in the world we live.
You know, what I've seen is that we always think
is about us, and we believe that our purpose can't
be just in helping somebody else because it might not
always be money in that, you know, helping our kids.
(03:18):
You know, there might not be any monetary value in
making sure that those kids are great, or our nephews
or nieces are great, our sisters are brothers are much
better than us, if that's our gift. But we live
in a world where we believe that, you know, we
have to be monetarily, you know, compensated for our purpose,
and we get lost in them sometimes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
And I think that's concerning.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I think that is the American culture overall, because purpose
is not the samewhere else.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, right, I.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Think we'll talk about religion for a second. People who
are who are Hindus or people who are Buddhists, right,
purpose is completely different for them, yea. Their purpose is
never tied to money, like but we'll just use Buddhism
because you know, I love Buddhism, right, So we'll just
use Boosom for a minute. Their purpose is not to
set out to follow this strict set of guidelines or rules,
(04:13):
or they don't set out to find their life's purpose
in doing for other people. Their life's purpose is to
become the best person they can be while they are
on this trip here.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But that's the case, then purpose is cultural too.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
That absolutely yes, like most things, you know, I don't
I don't believe that. Like I said before, purpose is
not something that is set in stone. We've had this
conversation a million times.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's not set in stone.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
It's not cookie cutter. And what works for me may
not work for you.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But at the end of the day, you know, we
all got out.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
You know, you've got your view of you know mine
is you know, we don't have purpose until we find it. Yeah,
there's nothing. It's nothing that we're given under certain circumstances
because it's rare cases.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
All right, So let me ask you this.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Rare cases.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Let me ask you this. So we don't have purpose
until we find it. Right, But honestly, what if someone's
purpose right is to be here, to be a great
mother or great father, Like maybe your early life wasn't
worth anything, It wasn't great, it wasn't grand, but you
raise exceptional children. But that's a part of purpose though,
(05:24):
But what if we don't know that's our purpose?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, I don't know what happens when we don't know
that's our purpose. But it can't be a purpose because
I believe that one right there is overlooked, you know,
because we you know, because the culture is about monetary
compensation and how that equates to purpose. But sometimes purpose
is to give life to others. Two absolutely, and that
(05:50):
just means being a good parent, you know, like you
know what, I'm going to make sure that that never
happens to you know, what happened to me as a
kid will not happen going forward in the future for
my kid that I try to make sure that they
learn enough where it doesn't happen to to the kids
they raise, which is my grandkids.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Well, which are my grand kids?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
What's funny about that? What you know those of us
who are Southern, while you and I would call that purpose,
so then it's called that breakage generational curses. Yeah, it's
the same exact thing.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So I believe that being a good parent is can
be a purpose, you know, no compensation in it, but
to break what has happened before. Oh that's a great thing.
And there's multiple ways to have purposes.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
In this life.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, you know, but again, right, part of the purposes,
I mean, part of the definition for purpose is fulfillment
and motivation. H being a parent, I would love for
our children to be better than we were.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I do. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Look, and I'm not bringing this up just because I
love her to death. Okay, well I am, but but true, No, Mama,
this is this one is about her. It was one day.
I mean it was, you know, not long ago before
she passed. It was it was earlier. It had been
(07:10):
like if I can't remember exactly, but it was some
time before she passed, and I was sitting in the chair,
you know, picking up exactly one day, I was picking
him up, and she was sitting in her chair, playing
her casino game with her glasses, you know, right at
the tip of her nose, you know, not really caring
about being bothered, you know, but she didn't care about
(07:31):
bothered him. But I'm just looking at him, staring, staring
at her. And I looked at Him'm like, Mama, I said,
how did you do this?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
She said? Do what? Baby?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
She said, do what? I'm like, how did you maintain
this all these years? You know, the house, us, you know, daddy,
you know all of it.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
How did you do this? He said? Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, baby, you know I'm not going to say the explicit,
but you know you can feel it in a place
of y'all want to she said. She said, well, Sweeten, no,
you your sister, your father, his house.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
That was my efing job. She said, that's what I
was supposed to do. You know.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
So when I loved doing that, I did it all
the time. But she did that, you know, not necessarily
because as she she was raised, but she cared about it.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
She found meaning it, She found meaning in it, she
really did.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And she never said that she was tired, even though
as an adult when I look back, I can see
that she was, but she never complained about it. She
did it consistently all the time, and to me, she
found purpose in that.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
She found meaning in that. It meant something.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And so you know, she wasn't rich, wealthy, but she
was a damn good mama. Absolutely, she was a damn
good absolutely, and I never heard that woman complain about
doing her job.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
You know, it's funny because I I can fully attest
to everything you're saying. Yep, see how I met her
when I was sixteen, correct, So she had a direct
hand in raising me. Yeah, from twenty years exactly twenty
years because she passed right after my thirty sixth birthday. Yep,
so it was exactly twenty years that lady raised me
to be one of her own children.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So that's the one for sure, I mean, and that
that one sticks with me because she never complained about that.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
That has become a man from my house at all.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
She did what she did because that's what she was
supposed to do. She never complained about it. She never
complained about being a mother or doing her role as
being a wife. She never complained about cleaning up, washing
dishes or doing anything. She never complained because you know what,
that was her effing job.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah. But you know, like what's funny about that too,
is there was another side to her, yeah, you know
what I mean, like why she did everything that she
was supposed to do quote unquote supposed to do as
a mother, as a wife. She was also she found
the ways to still be an individual and she was
extremely creative. That she was, I mean extremely from the
sewing to the painting, to the coloring to the drawing
(10:03):
with her grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Well in the part said no one saw, she would
strip furniture as the way down twenty layers and started
all the way over from scratch, still in their kitchen
to this day. Yeah, that's that's what she did. She
had her thing she did, you know. And but that's
a big part of why I became where I became though,
because I wouldness that, I wouldn't stand you're always with her,
(10:28):
that was always with her. Yeah, that was a whipper.
But let's get sort of approaching some of these these topics.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Though, So you know, there are there are a few
uncommon ways that people have or do find their purpose.
One of the biggest ways is adversity and loss right.
And I'm gonna talk about two topics here, completely different. Right.
Of course, you know, we have the one where you
lose your job, you lose everything, like financially, you know,
(10:58):
you you hit rock bottom, right, you got to come
back from that. And while most people do, like those
of us you know, who have drive, who have ambition,
who care about what our life becomes, we always bounce back.
And there's been a time you know where you and
I bounce back from that. But on the other side
of that, you talk about loss right, And when I
say lost, I mean like, say you have a relative
(11:23):
who dies from some extremely rare disease and now you're
bringing awareness to it, or God forbid, but you lose
your child to sex trafficking, and you now make it
your life's goal to make sure that no other parent
loses their son of their daughter this way, you know.
Or maybe like younger Erica, right, you have a relative
(11:45):
you love with your whole heart who you see struggle
with health conditions, different kind of their whole life, and
then you're like, wait, how what can I do to
make sure that other people don't feel this? So you
go to nursing school, you become a doctor, right, Or
maybe you lose your parent to incarceration for someone that
wasn't their fault, they were wrongfully incarcerated. Now you're a lawyer.
(12:11):
So adversity and loss is one of the greatest motivators
for someone to find their purpose.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
No, I was just thinking about that one.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's only a couple of things that come to mind,
come to mind historically, that comes to mind, and these
are important and sometimes I have to grab a hold
of these, just you know, to resent on myself and say, hey,
things going to be better than you think they are.
One of them was definitely Nelson Mandela. It was him.
(12:44):
I don't know if people know what he did before
he got in prison, but that ain't you know, you know,
I mean he was a lawyer, you know, he did
he did a lot, you know, before he got in prison.
But it's when he got in prison it's the one
that struck me the moment. It's because because we're talking
about purpose, the same thing he was doing before he
(13:06):
got in prison, it's the same thing he did when
he got in prison. Yes, still saving people, you know,
finding meaning in his work.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Even when he was behind bars. It didn't stop him.
And then he still got out twenty seven years later, twenty.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Seven years later, okay, it became the president of South
Africa to stop the things that he started from the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Beginning, came full circle, came full circle.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
But those twenty seven years is the most important part
for me because that's when most people give up.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
That's when we give up.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Look, most of us in our day to day life
are not inconcerated like that for twenty seven years. We
can't even get past, you know, a couple of years
of transgression or things that's gone bad.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
You know, without giving up or quitting, we can't do it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
But he held on for it for twenty seven years
and he got out and still fulfilled.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
His fucking purpose. Excuse me, he did, but he.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Did, he did. He came full circle. Literally, he never
gave me loved by an entire country.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
And that one right there, that one, you know, when
when I find myself, you know, feel like I'm like
not grateful for where I am. I think about that story.
That man was in consprated for twenty seven years. He
held on to that purpose for twenty seven years, the
same thing he went in for, he held on to it.
He served, and then he got out and served again.
(14:41):
He never let go of it, never let go, never
let go. So yeah, that one, that one strikes me.
That was the one historical reference. But the second one
I'm not sure if many people are familiar with, but
it was Victor Frankel. He did the he wrote the
book Man Search for Meaning. He was It was a
(15:03):
he was a he was a he was was like
a psychiatrist, he was a therapist.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
But he.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Was captured during the Holocaust. That's that's what happened to him.
And at the end of the whole thing is that
what he went in with he didn't return with. He
lost everything. And then you know, so he lost father wife.
You know, he didn't know that he lost his wife
(15:32):
until it was all over. He didn't know, He didn't know.
And that book, you know, Man's Social Meaning is one
of the best books, you know, written to this day.
But the whole book was about you know, finding meaning
even in adversity and lost and.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
That's like part of that book.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
What he had said was this right here, He was like,
you know, most of the people they did didn't lose,
you know, or they didn't die because they didn't have
medication or because they didn't have because they didn't have food.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
He said, they.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
They lost because or they died because they didn't have
meaning no more. They gave up a long time ago,
he said. In those who found meaning and continuing to
live are the ones who normally survived. And that one
that shit struck me even to this day, even to
this day, is that we don't find the meaning even
(16:33):
in the hard times.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So in that case, purpose and perseverance go together.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Yeah, yeah, they do, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
And you know, historically, like I said, you know, based
on what he did his work and he got out
and he continued to do the work that he did
before he entered because when he before he before he
got captured and went to Auschwitz, what he did. He
was a he was a therapist. He was a he
was a he was a psychiatrist. That's what he did.
And then when he got out, he continued to do
(17:04):
that work and help Holocaust survivors too, That's what he did.
And even though he lost his wife. You know, he
loved her, he said, but I still held on to her.
But that's still my reason for existence too. That's still
while I'm here. You know, even through loss, there's still
meaning in my life. And that's something that most of
us can't hold on to and we can't understand. We
(17:25):
can't comprehend it because it hurts so bad when we
go through something. It's hard for us to continue on
it is. But those two stories right there are the
ones that struck me the most because those me and
the same thing they were doing before they continue to
do afterwards. They always found the purpose and meaning in life,
(17:45):
regardless of how bad it was. And sometimes, you know,
the nihilistic view is life has no purpose, that's it.
But he made me think different about that, because even
through the hard times, we can still keep moving forward.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Gang.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah, you know, that's something that well, I didn't know
anything about this book until you just brought it up.
But as you know, because you've been with me forever,
that that's literally how I live my life. And it's
not about being you know, a glass half empty, glass
half full kind of person. Optimist, specimists in the words
of Gangang, keep living.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, keep on living, keep living.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
It gets better, you know. And then that actually leads
me into my next topic, serendipitous encounters. Right, you know,
there are sometimes where maybe you're going along, you're depressed,
you've had like all of these these terrible feelings and ideas,
(18:46):
and you feel like you're worthless in your life. Is
nothing in there? Boom, out of the clear blue sky,
somebody lands in your face. One simple conversation can change
the whole trajectory of your life.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah, well, have I had one of those? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Indirectly, no matter I'm I'm saying, I have, indirectly, Like
why it wasn't necessarily for me, It was with you, Okay.
You know when we met Scott Lamb, right, I was.
I was at that event with you, but the event
was of course for you, about the tickets for you,
And we went and well, it had an impact on me,
(19:28):
it had an even bigger impact on you. And then
doing that it set us on a completely different trajectory.
So that one encounter was somebody who took time, like
after the event was over, who pushed to the side
and talk to you about what you were doing. It's
kind of what got us here even today.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
It is you know, it was one moment in that uh,
that encounter that h that I even still think about
it to this day and what there was, uh he
was talking about, you know how we always find out
you know, we always say, hey, I can't afford it.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Hey, I can't afford it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You know, anytime something important comes up, you know, something
that you're supposed to do, you always say, I I.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Can't afford it.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
But what he said in that account was you always
say you can't afford it, he said, But it's anything else,
he said, I guarantee you you always find a way
anytime you say you can't afford it. But what happens
do you find a way? Does it always come through?
He said, yeah, no, one can really deny no matter
(20:34):
how much money you have, we always end up finding
the way. He said, So why do you always say,
you can't do it when it's actually mean some he said.
Why do you never find a way when it actually
means something?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
He said, No.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
One ever finds the way, he said, when you want
those pair of shoes you know what, expensive, But you
know what, you always find a way. Hey, that bill
needs to be paid. Hey I don't have the money.
But you know what, you always find a way lifege vacations,
you always find a way, he said. But when it
comes to something that's going to actually benefit your life,
(21:11):
you never find a way, he said.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But it still applies because we always find a way.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And that one right there stuck with me for the
rest of my life because at that point I had
to start changing my language and how I speak about
stuff of the I can'ts because even to me myself,
even in that moment, I always did even when you know,
like it was something small, but when it was big,
I always find a way to get out of it.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I always find a way to get.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Out of it, especially once for yourself person.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, when it's for myself person, I always find a
way to get out of it, to rob myself of it.
But he changed me on that one, you know, so
that didn't counter is definitely the one, and I believe
we always need to search for it. It might not be
so obvious. It's that one for most people, though, and
that's what we have to get to. It might not
be that obvious. Maybe it might be something small, incremental.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
It might be I mean, it could be Honestly, it
could be something as simple as out of a whole conversation,
maybe one or two citizens. And that's all you take
from it. But that's all you were meant to take
from it. That was enough. Whatever renews whatever passion or
spark that you once had, or maybe even even shows
you something new, something different. Those are purposeful encounters and
(22:26):
I definitely appreciate them.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, so Scott Lamb did have a huge impact on
me and you and that and that. Yeah, but in
that seminar, you know, we paid for it, but hey,
it was worth paying for.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Definitely pay for.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
As you just said, you know, sometimes you don't take
just a few just a little bit out of it. Well,
that was the one that I took out of it,
because sometimes you just gotta go all in for it.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
You got to go in for it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So you know that you also have people who are
I think this is just me personally. I believe that artists,
whether it's fine art, digital art, poets, singers, songwriters, photographers, right, engineers,
because engineers are artists too. I don't care what anybody says.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Who said they would a lot of people that's that's stupid.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
But you know, being able to to find purpose in
the blank canvas, like I said, whether it's paper and
actual canvas, or if it's just a melody in your head, right,
being able to link that to something and make it
beautiful and that that that's fulfilling for you. And that's
(23:41):
amazing that everyone can't do that. Actually, most people can't
do that.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
They can't do it, you know. But this is what
I you know, I'm approached this in a couple a
couple of ways. Dealing with purpose, you know, also is
sometimes we deal deal with the rare cases of scenarios, Okay,
very rare, you know, where herpose. You know, some people
just innately have it from the get go, they just
(24:08):
have it, you know. Or people get inspired extremely young
and they carried for the rest of their damn life.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
It's rare that it happens, but it happens. I promise.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I can't remember the young girl's name, but I think
she lived across seeds. You can probably find on Instagram today.
But her name was Akeana. Her name was Okeana, and
and she said, hey, you know, God told me the paint.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I remember her. She was little when she.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Started, well, she was young.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
She had been when I saw it had been about
like twelve years ago, maybe about twelve years ago, so
that means you to put her around the age of
maybe thirty today, somewhere around. She was a kid, and
she was a kid, and she said, God told me to,
and she started to paint. Painted, and her parents were
her manager, and they just made a career out of
(25:06):
this thing for you know, with her, you know, because
there was her purpose and she still care with that
purpose on to this day. But many people don't have
that starting out. You know, most people don't know what
the hell they're going to do starting out. Most people
got to search for it, you know what I'm saying,
you know, but God told her to and she never
(25:26):
let go of it even to this day, you know.
So to me, that's a rare case you know, of
being artistic, you know what I'm saying, you know, and
finding purpose. But the second one would be is this
because this one came in a came to this young
man differently, this was Moles Bowles. That's much respect to
(25:48):
the Mephian. Okay, you know on Shark Tank, congratulations to
that one. But at this point in his life, he
made more money than some people will ever see in
their life. He has like at this point, I think
he's made like a million dollars and he's years He
probably just graduated high school not long ago, you know
(26:12):
what I'm saying, Like he has to be like pretty
much like going into college kind of, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
That's that's that's where he's at. He's like going to college.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
But I find it more interesting of how he started
this and Howard began. How it began is he was
inspired by his grandmother because she sold and she showed
him how to sew. And once he learned how to sew,
he started making his own bows and bow ties.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
And his mother supported him all the way through.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And so Mole to this day as a Memphis I
mean a business a Memphis, and he's making and he
has made upwards to a million dollars at this point
in his life, and he's pretty much just freshly out
of high school.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You are absolutely right, but let me use some facts. Okay,
let's just take thing mos Mosaiah Bridges. He is the
eighteen year old president and creative director of Mo's Bows
Handmade bow Ties, where they sell specifically handmade bow ties, neckties,
pocket squares, and other apparel for men. This young fella
(27:19):
is eighteen years old. Well, I'm sorry, he's now twenty
two years old now and at the age of twenty two,
this young fellow is worth two million dollars. But he
started from his grandmother's his grandma's passion. Grandma taught him.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So taught him out of soul, but he never let
it go. And he I think you he launched a
business like around nine years old. It was nine years old,
nine years old, so his grandmother had to have shown
him a few years earlier, had to had to show
him a few years earlier.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
But he never let it go.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
But sometimes, you know, we're dealing with a scenario where
you know, like that's.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Artistic, that's a different type of artistic and being a painter.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, fashion design is still art, right, but.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
It's still art.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
But he held on to it, and I think that's
the one that intrigues me more that the people who
find it and they never let it go. Now they
find it, you know what, they don't deny a fucking call.
They hold on to it for the rest of their life.
This is what I do. They did to not a call.
I feel I feel like I'm feeling like, oh, I'm
like Joseph Campbell, denied a call, accepting the call. But
(28:26):
you know, but they did it not a call, they
accepted it, and they held on to it for the
rest of their life, right, you know, like like mol
from from eight to twenty two.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I mean, that's a lot of consistency.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Okay, that's he's still going. He is, he is still going.
But you know what's crazy though, Damon John took a
chance on the kid.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
He did it.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
He saw something.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
We can't be consistent our everyday life. Okay, we can't
even be consistent in our everyday life. No, this kid
was consistent from eighteen to twenty two.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But you know, I believe there are a lot of
stories about children like that that that are that are skipped,
that are left out because a lot of folks believe
that you have to be an adult to find your purpose.
The Aana and Mo prove otherwise, and there are countless
other children who have found purpose and become successful.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
You know, Akana, she was inspired by by something higher,
higher than herself.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
The divine calling.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yeah, divine calling. She was a mole.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Just the love of a parent or or or love
them who inspired you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yes that again, you know, back to the original original
concept of the show. Is there there are a plethora
of ways to find one's purpose.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It is, you know. But at the same time, you know,
sometimes we we also deny calling to run from it
from you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Know about that?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Oh yeah, how that work out for you? I didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It didn't work out too well. But at the same time,
it saved me too, did Yeah, it ran from it,
but to save me.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
No, what brought you right back?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah it did?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I mean that was that was that was That was
a rough time, you know, but but but that was
me dealing with a lot of burnout as well.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I dealt with a lot of burnout during that time
when I gave up on it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah that was I was also I was tired. But
the same thing I ran away from it was the
same thing that saved me too. M not just me,
but it saved us, put it. It put us back
in there in a better place.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
It did, it did.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
But uh, but that was that was a hell of
a hell of a journey though, you know. And that
journey was you remember being accused of stealing m thirty
six thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
But we okay, because you brought that up. You have
to tell the whole story and how you still won
that one.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
No, I don't know if I won that one, absolutely,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I don't think I want you won that one.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
There was.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I mean, there was a loss there, but there was
no great loss there.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
No, well I experienced a loss. We lost a lot,
you know, doing that one.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
We lost everything.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
We lost everything doing that one. You know, and we
had a new kid as well.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
She was four months older then, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
She was four months old, accused of sealing thirty six
thousand dollars. But you know, but even after, you know,
everything was settled, you know, hey, everything got back to normal.
Everything was, when I say normal, not being accused of
all the money not being missing.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
But it never was.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
And I had to double down and make sure that
we got back to what we needed to be. And
the only thing that I could do was what I did.
I designed, I created websites. I was artistic. And that
gift and that ability is what saved us.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
That gift and ability has allowed us to purchase well,
purchase one and build another home before we were forty.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
It did to give them, so so I'm grateful for it.
But the thing is this right here, and the whole
purpose of saying there was this. You know, sometimes you
just can't deny a call, right you You you are
what you are, And I was denying what I was
and what I was. I was when I was from
when I was young, the.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Time you were getting in trouble for drawing on test papers.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's that's spread I was drawn on test papers. Yeah,
Mama beat the hell out of me for that one.
Made me a little bit a little bit apprehensive about
drawing for a minute.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
But it didn't stop.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It didn't stop it.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
It didn't stop it.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
The whole art studio in the house, it didn't stop it.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
It didn't stop it, you know, all right, you know,
So so that right there a combination of what my
mother taught me and a combination also or what my
daddy was, you know, he was he was kind of
a hustler, because everybody in there at this point knows that.
You know, my mother was a creative, because we just
said it. She was a creative. My daddy was a hustler.
He wasn't a business man. He was kind of a hustle.
(33:03):
That's what he did.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
He was a hustle that did business.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Yeah. He he used to make barbecue grills.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
He used to make those barbecue grills, and I used
to help him, you know, put them together. Here we
had like this assembly line, you know. But the reason
it got better was because of my mother's you know,
she had a good mind, you know. But we had
learned about that one one day and he would put
these we would put these grills on the sixteen foot trailer.
Put these grills on the six foot trailer, and we
would go down the third street in front of the
(33:30):
Crystal Palace. All Mefians know what that is, Yes, we
know what that is. Someday we wouldn't sell. Some days
we would sell all out. We'd have ten grills on
the sixteen foot trailer and we would sell every last
one of them.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Some days we didn't sell one.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
We were like, hey, hey, so just because we didn't sell,
we get out here and do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
That's what we did.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Or the first businesses and I was ever a part
of was because of him.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
That's entrepreneurship in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, you know it was. I was going into the
fifth grade and we started a lawn service business. We
did it the whole summer, you know, being going into
the field grade and making six hundred dollars by the
end or something that was that was good.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Come up. I was fine with that, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
And you know, so it was the creativity, and it
was what he taught me through his creation of barbecue
grills and how he made things to sell.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
This is what made me who I am today.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
And so if I never learned the creativity, or if
I never learned the aspects of what he did when
making and selling barbecue grills, I don't think that we
ever would have came out of that scenario.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
I don't think we.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Ever would have came out of it because not right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
It was it was a purpose.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It was a purpose that drove mem It was it
was that what got me out of it, or help
us get out of that. One did because out of
that hole. So I was very grateful for not continuing
to deny to call to a degree.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, yeah, But speaking about you know, personal purpose, I
found mine in a different way. You know, we had
I don't talk about him near as often as I
should because it's still hard. But yeah, my papa, right,
and my whole life, he was always there. He was
always a very very very very prominent male figure in
(35:17):
my life. He was my grandfather, but he also raised me.
My grandparents raised me. But when I got to my
teen years, you know, he started to get sick. He
got very sick. So we were in other hospital a lot,
you know, and through that, I was like, you know what,
(35:39):
I graduated and going to nursing school because I need
to know how to better take care of him, because
I want to be the one to make sure he's okay,
because had he ever gotten to the point to where
he needed to go to like a sister of living
or a skilled living facility, he wasn't going. He was
going to be with me. And I even told you that,
like I would never put him somewhere, I would move
him in with us first. Well unfortunately we didn't make
it there. But out of that, right, watching him and
(36:04):
my grandmother, my mean mom. They cared for people their
entire life like that, I mean their entire life, so
my whole life, my whole adult life. There were always
cousins or friends or other family members around the day
that they cared for, took care of, helped raise, you know,
all those things. But him being who he was, he
made me both someone who was carrying compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic,
(36:27):
but a spitfire right like growing up I always had
I always had him, and I watched him you know,
you know Shelby Kenny Sheriffs. He was a shriner. He
was amazing. So he was always in the community doing things.
He was always out taking care of people or making
sure people were safe in some way, and him being
(36:48):
my role model and the person that I loved them
most on this earth. Without realizing it, I was shaping
and molding myself and to be something like him. But
it's why today I do what I do career wise
and how I became a life coach. There are multiple
ways to take care of people. Nursing for me didn't
work out for a lot of reasons, but once he
passed away, I didn't care any more. I didn't care
(37:08):
about being a nurse. I was doing that, it's true,
to take care of him, so when he wasn't here,
there was no purpose for that to me. And I
didn't want to be a nurse, you know. I've always
told you, like I always wanted to be incorporate in
some way, right, And I've made it there, and I'm very,
very good at my job. But even still today, I
lead with empathy and sympathy, right, And I have an
(37:33):
amazing staff of people who work for me. But that's
only because I'm open, I'm available, I'm honest, and they
know that irregardless to what happens, if you're right, I'm
going to protect you. But that came from somewhere, right.
That came from for me seeing that my whole life.
That came from me seeing my grandmother make sure that
her nieces and nephews were always safe and taken care
(37:55):
of when their parents weren't worth a day in raising them.
That came from me watching my grandpa ether care for
his friends or his loved ones. Because like little known
fact about him, he was adopted. He never he didn't
really get to know his real family, and he was
like I think he was in his thirties, he stumbled
across a sister and then he found you know, brothers
and things like that, and the airport be relationships. So
(38:16):
he had siblings on both sides. But even through all
of that, even when he was sick, he still made
sure that all those around him were okay. He still
took care of people. Because the day he died, matter
of fact, the day he died, he paid a speeding
ticket for me. But that's who he was, That's who
Larry was.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
But you cared that even how you care about your
family even to this day, you know, whenever, not even
just your family, but hell, your friends too.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, even you know all of us. You know, you're
always there.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
But you know, but I cannot. Now I got to
get props where they do right when it comes to
this family thing. The way I can for my family
is Teresa through went through. Yeah, I know, through went through.
Like the way I take care of you and the
kids and the nieces and nephew that's.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Teresa because it was job, just like.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
That's them my fucking job. And you know but outside
of like my everyday work, it's a job that I
honestly enjoy. Yeah, Like I love knowing that you know
our two children I have, but then the other three,
you know, so there's a total of five kids that
we hell take care of. Even though they're grown. I
still they're okay, they're happy. I revel in the fact
(39:25):
that that those kids will call me and say, hey,
guess what I did today, Guess what I learned today.
You know how when I was calling you crying last
week and I was sad about X, Y and Z,
it's better, You were right. It worked out. Thank you
for being there.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But you know, I couldn't imagine, you know, being a
PARENTI parensial figure. And I regret doing this thing every day,
like whenever I see you. Whenever I see you, I
regret I did this. But you know, you know, at
this point in my life. No, no, we got a
daughter that's going on twelve, a three year old out
(40:00):
one day in my life.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Have I ever regretted, No, ever, No being there for them.
I would do it again.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I look, I would do it every time.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I would do it again and again and again.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
No, because I love the fact that you I we
can sit here and see them grow and develop and
be more than what they are. I love playing that
pivotal role in a life and then being who they are,
and it brings me joy when I think about it.
You know, some days, you know, just being who I am,
(40:32):
it's it's rough to hold on to it, but you know,
but when I see them, they're so full of potential
there and it gives me.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Joy, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
And and so I guess if we try to make
this full circle in ways that sometimes you just can't
deny your purpose, right, No, don't deny your call.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Don't deny the call.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
And I think purpose again, you know, as I've said,
it comes from many different places. It does like my
person or what I what I grew into. It started
with my me, Mama, Papa. Right then I met your
mom and dad and it just solidified it, you know,
it became you take care of those that you love.
And I don't mind doing it. Like I have. I
(41:17):
have countless friends, right who until I think I told you,
like last year just out of the blue, like I
was depressed last year a lot, but you know there
were friends who just I mean out of the blue,
which just like they would text me or like call
me or even send me like dms on Facebook about
a time where like I had a positive impact on them.
(41:41):
I didn't realize it. It was just me being me,
and so I didn't I didn't think that anything that
I did really mattered in that way, because that's all
I know to do. He if, I love y'all, show you,
I look at you. I care about you. That's just
who I am. That includes you know, people who work
for me. But at the end of the day, my
purpose came. My overroll purpers came from great loss because
(42:04):
once I lost my grandfather, I lost everything else around me,
and I gave up. I gave up for quite well,
you know that for quite some time, I was like, screwed.
I don't care about people or anything else that happened.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Okay, I gotta that's say my question with this one.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
You're smiling. I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
It was just something I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
How many people do you think, you know that don't
have a struggle story after you try to create one
just so they could be relatable.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Oh have you seen social media millions?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:32):
No, I don't millions.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
You know, I don't do social media like that.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
I mean, like, you know, what's funny is like we
live in an age now, an age of influencers, excuse me.
We live in an age of influencers, and it's crazy
to me how a lot of these influencers have the
same exact story until friends come out and say, hey,
you never did that, that never happened to you, so
you know, it happens. It happens to countless people, and
(42:58):
countless people are affected by that, and it's kind of funny, actually,
I just it was.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
One of those things I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
It's kind of funny, like how many people are not homeless,
you know, have not been homeless, but they created a
homeless story or what they had to live in their
car just so they can tell people that, yeah, just
so you have some loss, and they can be a
little bit relatable, you know, because because some people don't
grow up with struggle.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
They don't, they don't.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
But but you know what stopped wait a minute, hold
that thought, because we have a very close friend, very
very close friends, who technically did not grow up a
struggle but she she she has gone down through there
in her adult life.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I do know.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
And mind you, she had everything on silver platter handed
her great family, great life of an abundance of wealth.
But but on the flip side of that, but that
was that was created a different struggle for her.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
It did. I mean, but that was a lack of
parenting that too.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
It was a lack of a lot of things for her.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, well, you know, so back to parenting. I don't
ever say that you just throw money at your children
and tell them, hey, yes you can have this. That
don't spoil them to a fault to put it that way. Yeah,
don't ever do that, because that's what happened to her.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
And that and that story is still sad.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
It's very sad.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
And there was there was.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
A lot that ended up happening where where things still
weren't reconciled, you know, towards the towards the end exactly.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
But you know what's crazy about that too, even like,
even though she knows there were nannies and things like that,
she still grew up to be an amazing adult, full
of compassion, full of love, full of empathy.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
But that comes through you know.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
She she she took hold of the loss and made
something of it. She did, she made something of it.
And sometimes this is what you gotta do. You gotta
take it by the balls. Take the loss a by
the balls and just take control of it. Don't let it,
don't let it control you. You got to have control
over it. Sometimes and we let it get in the way.
We let the loss get in away. We never overcome it.
(44:57):
It's a challenge. No, even like when we from beginning,
loss has meaning. It does even when it goes unresolved,
it has meaning. You're not supposed to hold on to it.
It's not supposed to either way, at you for the
rest of your damn life. It's not supposed to, you
know what. Some things get resolved, some things don't.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
That's all right.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
But it's how you move forward. It's what means a lot.
It's how you move forward. It's how you go about
handling that loss or what you make of it. It's
really what you make of it.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
At that point. You can make it whatever you want to.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
You can either make it something positive or something negative,
you know. So so you know, just just coming back
to back to that old and I was just thinking
about that no year, It's like, I don't want to
how many people make.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
There are honestly, and it's sad, but yeah, but there
there are countless people who do that.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, and it's because you would be, but don't lie
to me to relate to me.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
One more this is this, This one is one of
also thought about. Is this what happens when somebody's denied purpose?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
M that's a hard one.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
What happens when you denied purpose?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
So I've been putting thought into this one, you know,
or what are the scenarios where you know, work where
people are literally denied purpose and not being what they.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
Need to be.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
So you know, just me be and who I am? Yeah,
a relationship life coach and all this. You see that
a lot in long term marriages, right, you see it
a lot because people fall into these.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Roles of are you trying to tell me something?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
No? Okay, trust me, I would ask you if I was,
oh so direct. I believe in taking shots.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Pal. Oh it's a turn on.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
But you know, like you see it, like denied purpose
could be you know, we'll start with one, the very
easy one. But you have women who want to allow
man to be a man take care of them, right.
Part of a man's purpose is to be able to
care for their family, to be you know, a protector,
someone who guys, who teaches, someone who leads. And you
(47:09):
have some women who have been on their own for
so long or who have never seen a man in
the house, who honestly don't to let a man do that.
Does it mean she's not a good woman. It just
means she doesn't know how right. But in doing that,
this man's purpose is to nine. On the flip side
of that, right, you have men who are jealous of
their wives. Wife makes six figures. He makes forty five
(47:31):
thousand dollars a year, and he gives her hell about
her job every day, to the point where she wants
to quit, although she's thriving and she's functioning, and she's
doing a fantastic job.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
What about you know, safe in that scenario. Well, okay,
she is making a ton of money, and he's denied
purpose because he keeps bashing him because he don't make enough.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
That's for another topic that's coming. We'll talk about that
on other topic.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
And he's not purpose in that one. Okay, I got you, buddy.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Okay, But when I when I gave that about him,
we're talking about her. I know, we're discussing her and
what he is doing to her.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I know, But it was just one because I experience.
It's not that I experienced it, but I've seen it before.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
I was gonna say, you absolutely have never experienced that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
I had an experienced, but it was I brought it
up because I've seen it and it happens.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, it happens a lot, right, it happens a whole lot.
But but on the flip side of that, I'm telling
there are men who do the same exact thing.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
You know, and that one I guess just me being
hawaiim You know, I love origins, how things start, how
they all begin, you know, that's how I am.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
This is how I am. You know, so safe fings
is from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
When when purpose is denied, you know when I believe
kids can be denied purpose from the beginning, Oh god, yeah,
from the beginning. They never find out who the hell
they are.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Yeah, because they're denied it. You know, you have siblings
who have to raise their younger older siblings to raise
younger siblings purpose, and you don't get a chance to
be a child.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah, you never find out who you are, what you are,
what this thing means?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Right, yeah, you know, but then you had on the
flipside of that, you have parents like you and I
every time a child says I want to try that,
you go buy everything that goes along with it, Like
do you really like it? Let's see, let's find out,
because you know, by now our child should be like
a fashion designing engineer or something. She should all the
money we spent on things.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
She's not yet.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
But you know, you know, like but on the flip
side of that, there is a double sided coin, right,
like you have some parents who throw everything to their
children because they can't.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
But like say, offense like this, you know, from we're
going to use like the nine purpose going from a
political standpoint to a degree. Okay, this was like the
war on drugs when when crack was dropped into urban
cities a joke, right, some people never ever recovered from that,
(49:58):
you know, and the moment they got hooked on it
and they never recovered from it, they would denied purpose.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Not just them, but there are generations, but.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Their generations would deny purpose and meaning in life. Yes,
and when you never find it, you know what you
get those guys that's in prison some.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Days, or those guys that on the street corner.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
All day, all day.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
When you're denied purpose, that's the outcome sometimes yes, and
that one pisses me off, you know, because you know
we're talking about you.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Know what a social construct?
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Or when you drop damn guns into the cities. You know, hey,
we don't know where they came from. We know where
it came from. Well, that's conspiracies in me too, So.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
I will say, uh, we do.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
No drugs were dropped. We know that for a fact.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
I will say, you know, being a Mythian and someone
who has seen Memphis at its height and thriving and
being a beautiful city. Everyone came together up until today.
It's not conspiracy when you when you can see.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
This, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
So you deny somebody purpose like that, and they never
find him they won They never find himselves, They never
find the meaning in life right, and they become a
burden or a problem for other people too.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
Well.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
You know, while we're speaking about children's know.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
How it is in Memphis right now?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Do you remember last year? I think the little kid
was like nine or twelve years old, got arrested for
stealing cars and they asked him who shut him?
Speaker 3 (51:23):
Hew? Yeah, I do know about this story.
Speaker 2 (51:26):
His uncle shut him hell, and his mother was driving
him around. Yes, so you made this child's purpose in
life to be a criminal.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
To be a criminal.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
He wasn't even a teenager yet, but he got arrested.
But what happened to you? So you're having this child
take take the fall for the things that you've taught them,
you know, And that's another way to do not purpose right,
you know you you don't let your children thrive and
be children. You get in their way, robb the innocence
and their imagination.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yeah, you robbed somebody, You robber a key of innocence.
They'll never get that back.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
No, you spend farm far more of your life being
an adult than you do a children. Childhood is short.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
As Jordan Peterson would have said, you know, once a
kids robbed of his innocence, you know, he tries to
come back. The only thing he comes back, he or
she comes back. Ass it's a pissed off the dough
Hey man. We're seeing that real time.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
You see that in real time every day. There's one
more thing I want to bring up that we didn't
bring up. Another another uncommon way to find your purpose.
People don't speak about it at enough. In my opinion,
divorce divorce is not always a bad thing. You have
(52:36):
to know when to say is enough is enough? Right?
And there have been countless people It's not spoken enough
in my opinion, But there have been countless people who
who had a gift and the gift was suppressed while
they were married. Right then you get divorced, at boom,
you have a whole new life dead. Wait will not
(52:58):
it can, but it will deny you of a lot
of things, including purpose.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
It will deny you purpose and it that one also
goes into you know, sometimes people just not compatible to
oh dea, Yeah, you know, I understand. You know, Uh,
you can't be not denied purpose and that comes down
into a big compatibility issue. I think that goes into
a another episode or just another conversation in general. But
(53:23):
you can be denied purpose by by another individual if
they don't know who the hell they are to. Yes,
and sometimes you just gotta be okay, we'll calling it quits. Yes,
you have to, because if somebody wants something out of
their life and the other one don't, and they're preventing
you from getting there, you know what, sometimes it's just
(53:44):
what has to happen. I mean, you know, I'm I'm
I'm for fighting to the end if if that's what
we have to do. But sometimes purpose is purpose. Yeah,
and no one is is here to deny somebody of
their purpose. And no one can deny me your mind.
So please don't let nobody deny your purpose. No, because
now life ends up having going back to the begining,
(54:06):
no meaning. Life has meaning no matter how bad it is.
So that means even when you lose things, if you
have to lose a person, you know what, life still
has meaning.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
But if you lose them, you become better. Was it
ever a lost.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
No, No, just learning, just learning because it's you know,
you know how it is in life. Sometimes we don't
say that we failed or anything like that. No, it
was just a learning experience. That's just something I learned.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
So what you're saying is you keep living and you learn.
Speaker 3 (54:35):
Because living you learn, because life is a lesson. All right.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
So also this was supposed to be or not supposed
to be, but is the introductory episode to the Student
Life podcast. And this thing was about purpose. So what
is your purpose for wanting to do so?
Speaker 2 (54:52):
So everyone knows my purpose and my wife very simple.
It's people need a s place, need a space or
an outlet, because this will also be on Instagram and Facebook,
where you can go and you know you're not alone
right where you know so these feelings that I have
are valid and I don't need to pay a therapist
(55:14):
thousands of dollars a month to know that my feelings
are valid. To know that there is someone out there
who has the ability to motivate me when I can't
motivate myself. It's a safe space. It's a space where
where people can be themselves and know that acceptance is real.
To know that it's okay to say I don't know something,
(55:35):
that it's okay to interact with two people who are
human just like you, who have had pitfalls, who have
had wins, who have had losses. To know that the
human experience is real and affects everyone, even when people
say that it doesn't. Because as a society, I think
we're so caught up with with influencers and what things
have become that we forget the human experience is real.
(55:57):
It happens to literally everybody, and I'm not afraid to
bear to bear the bad parts of that. I'm not
afraid to show you my flaws and my losses, because
it may me who I am today, but I do
understand it.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
You know, we all have our our reasons why, you know,
why we do what we do. But the reason why
I do this is just because a few things I
experienced in my life.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
It was when when I was younger, when I was
younger and I was on my corporate job, and I
saw a woman you know, who worked for this company
for what this business for like forty eight plus years,
and they ended up doing like some management changes throughout
the time, you know, I was there. And so when
I getting ready to leave, they had just recently began
(56:41):
to get insurance and they had no. Four one K
and they end up finding that lady dedicated forty years,
forty plus years. And after that, you know, that woman left.
She only left with they She left with a box fan,
the only thing she left with. And then afterwards a
friend of ours was assisting her paying her bills. A
little bit after that, I was like, wow, life, I said, hell,
(57:03):
way more mean than that, more purpose, you know, and
not you know, believing or knowing that that is the
only way. It couldn't be the only way that at
the end of life. You know, after all of my
dedication after everything that I put in. That's the only
thing I received afterwards, or another gentleman when I saw
(57:25):
had was having a mild heart attack throughout the day.
Speaker 3 (57:27):
You know, he came back to work at nine thirty
that night. Of course, you know you were there. I
was there, You were there, and he.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Started working it then because I was at that point,
I was there for like twelve hours. Matter of fact,
had it been thirteen, No, it was twelve hours. It
was twelve hours at that point, about twelve hours. And
he came back to work, to work after having a
mile heart attack at work, you know, and at any
time he could have passed away on the damn job.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
He could have left then.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
You know, he was valuable for the job, yes he was,
but the same time that men had value to other
people too, to his family, and if he had left,
then that was it.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
That was it, you know.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
And I was like, life has to be more than
just moments like that. Life has to be more than
going to work every day, possibly dying on the job.
Life has to be more than going to work working
for somebody who don't give a damn about you and
the outcome of your life. Even after you dedicated everything
to him, it has to be more than that. And
(58:28):
I found tremendous purpose in seeing the outcomes of how
people were living these lives or what they experienced. How
like that can't be me, my family or the people
I love, and even the people that I don't know,
if I can expire them to be more or do better,
you know, they's grab a hold of something to continue on.
Speaker 3 (58:49):
That's that's that's the purpose of.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
Me doing this because it's more out here and hopefully
to help people explore the unknown and to find more
in life.
Speaker 3 (58:59):
You know, That's what I can about.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
I care about that deeply, and and and that student
of life, you're live and you learn. You know what
I'm saying, We live and we learn. So this is
been students like you guys. The first episode, We Live
and You Learn Life is a lesson m
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