Episode 4 | Curses or Choices: The legacy of Generational Burdens - Students of Life Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hey, y'all, this is Erica with Students of Life podcast.
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(00:58):
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Speaker 2 (01:16):
Welcome to the Students of Life podcast. I am Courtney
and with me it's Erica, my wife.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
How you doing, wife?

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I'm good.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
How are you? I am doing very very good right
now at this moment.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
That's good.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
But you're looking at me very concerned though, Emma, yes
you are.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
I don't know what very very good is, but I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Happy for you. No, but you look at me like
you're concerned.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
I'm always concerned about you.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
Like I'm about to say something, because you always do.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
But I am, of course you are, because like with
the last episode, you remember how to send it.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
I told you you're going to graduate.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Oh, here we go.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah, but you're graduating right now. You're graduating. You have
almost become my equal. You have you're getting real good
at this. And oh the kudos clubs. Yeah. If I
had it set up on the board, I would have
hit the clap button right then, but I did the manual.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
So do you know what you've graduated to?

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Please enlighten me. I'm so eager to hear.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
I'm very eager to tell you what is it? You're
a mis Courtney. Now you have graduated to miss Courtney.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
You have lost your marbles.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I don't think so, but I think that is good.
Congratulations on where you've come.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Sounds a bit.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Of narcissistic, buddy, but you know, Hey, no, no, it's
it's out of love, is it.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
I'm telling you that you've done great?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh, so I can't be great on my own. I
can't be great stand alone? To be great in your
shadow and go by your name? Yeah, pretty much in
what world where you know me?

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Does it even work?

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh? It works very well, because someone has to help
you graduate. You know, you just can't do it on
your own. So I'm the one who helped you get there.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Pretty sure, that's how I get it done. But go ahead,
that's how you get there.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Someone has to like when you go to school, someone
has to allow you to graduate. You got to put
it in the work.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
When I was in school, you know, there there was
no no child left behind. So no my ass walked.
Because my ass walked, I had counterparts.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Who was sitting in the audience.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Well, what I'm saying is this right, No one allowed
me to graduate. Allow me to retort because because I
think you're missing the point. Okay, I think you don't
have a point. Go ahead, I do. You're in the
School of Courtney, and so I thought I was a
student of life. You are, But that is the school
of Courtney.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
It's not it is. So are you saying that our
listeners the school of Courtney?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
M y oh, you just shot off real.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
So Ilmost say thank you.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
You did a great job, all the way around the
world just to say thank you.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
But you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
So stay on track. Stay on track, of course. Yeah,
come on, wap it up? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (04:13):
Yeah, all right? So are you ready for.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
You to shut the hell up?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
You all? Well, let's do this show because I'm ready.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Let's go all right, this show is curses or choices,
the legacy of generational burdens. All right, so wife, please
in foremost about generational burden. What is it? So?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
A generational burden or a generational curse in the spiritual realm,
can be defined as it's a curse that has been
cast upon one member of a family, proceeds to pass
down the family line to their children, and their children's
children and so forth, affecting the lives the generations of people.
Either families will experience ruin at the hands of a

(05:05):
single curse, often losing their financial well being, their health,
their social standing, and much more often, the same form
of misfortune will affect multiple members of the family, and
sudden accidents and misfortunes are common.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
I will say this though, before we go any further.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Okay, let's go forward.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
The best way, well, the best cinematic way in recent
times to see this would be watching The Fall of
the House of Usher. Yeah, that is a perfect example
of that definition right there.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
It is. But that that was a very That was
a good show.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
That was a fantastic show.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
It was a good show, but it was also rooted
in It's just my take on it because I read
a lot of mythology and it really did remind me
of that. But within that show, it was crazy as
it was crazy as hell because the sister and.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
The who was became a father, yeah, who became the father.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
The sister avoided having children, yes she did, because who
they sold they sold to. They were like, hey, if
you have kids, they will suffer a faith and all
of those kids suffered the fate although they didn't know
about it. Correct, they didn't know about it. They didn't
know about the deal that their father made or even

(06:24):
with their sister, I mean, or their uncy.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Correct, they had no idea.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
They had no idea, but they had to pray the
price all the way down to the most innocent one
they did.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
You know, they benefited for most of their lives, yes, right,
But you know, as the story goes on, we slowly
learned that as the father gets older and he reaches
pretty much the height of his life and success, and
that's having paid the piper.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
You do, and no one ever wants to pay, right.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
He didn't want to. His sister didn't want to.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
Look she was even trying to sell him out.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
She absolutely trying to get the man to kill herself.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
And technically he died.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
He did.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
Spoiled alert, y'all, spoiled alert if you didn't see it.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
He did die, but the raven couldn't get him. Grim
reapers in that.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Show, could you go out? There was a price to pay.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
You got to pay the price, you know.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
But but this is also part of like our history,
you know, like a lot of the things that we consume.
We're talking about even mythology starting out biblical.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
That's what canaan Abele was.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yes, you know, not not canaan Abel, but it's what
happened to Kane afterwards. You know, his descendants were his
sin was so great, it was so great that it
passed down to all his descendants. They knew nothing about
what transpired, correct, But this is what Noah's ark was.

(07:49):
God flooded the entire earth to start it all over again,
and his descendants had to pay for it, just so
we can begin all over again. So they had to
pay for something even before they were ever thought about.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
In the words of you know, our elders, or things
we've heard people say before, is the Father had to
pay for the sins.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
I mean, the son had to pay for the.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Father they did. But that goes into you know, I
always have a story about Greek mythology. In some way,
we learned that, yes we did. I might not be
able to do that the next episode, so I got
to get out of my system right now.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Enlighten us, mister Lewis.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
But is this right here? A lot of these stories
we've gotten bits and pieces, so we never understood the
full context of it because we never, very very seldom
get to get the beginning, but we normally get the end.
But it's this right here, like with the move of Troy,
that right there was the end kind of of a curse,

(08:49):
towards the end of a curse. So it was the
end of the curse because you know, in Troy. But
to put it like this, we'll take it back to
the beginning. At the beginning, you know, it was this
guy named Chandeler's and he ended up, you know, cutting
up his son into small pieces, faded to the gods,
and they were pissed off about that, but they resurrected him.

(09:12):
But even after that, the whole family up until that
point suffered, And so we get the point of the
story of Troy. Which was like Agamemnon and Menelayus, you know,
things like that. Of course we know, correct, we know that,
but you know, I think was it Menilayus is the
one who was who was killed. But Agamemnon, you know,

(09:35):
they defeated, They took over Troy. They took over Troy.
So what happened after that after he got back home,
his wife and the husband, well a side guy during
that time killed him.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
They killed him, and then after that, you know, he
ended up dying and then his sons ended up going
into civil war.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
This is how it ended up happening.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
But it happened over time, and no one knew about
the curse that that that began this whole thing in
the first place. No one knew, but they all suffered
because of it. So, you know, it's the stories that
we've These things have been happening forever, for generations, for decades, centuries, millennias.

(10:24):
We've been consuming these things.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
We have so it's in pieces, but we have.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, but we have. But you do have a point
that we were talking about. It was regarding one of
your friends.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yes, so I'll just paraphrase the whole story because it's
kind of a long real quick right. Okay, So she's
my friend. I've known her since like eighth grade. I
think she's a very close friend. So she comes from
a line of root workers. For those who don't know,
those are people who practice typically who do not necessarily voodoo,

(10:59):
but their spirits of people. And her family tried to
their roots back to Louisiana. Not sure what city this
happened in, so I don't I don't want to, I
don't want to say that. But what happened was her
one of her great great great aunts messed with a
hoodoo practitioner, a guy.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Ended up breaking his heart.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
No, normally, when you think of like curses and spills
and things like that, you.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Think of women.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
But no, her family was cursed by man. I'm not
sure if she cheated on him or left him, but
something happened where they were no longer together. And essentially
what happened was he cursed her great great great aunt
and in doing so, it was more like a a

(11:49):
reverse love spill, if you will. That's the best way
I can get people to understand that what they are
going too deep into it. Right, So instead of the
women and her family being able to find.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
Love, love that will last, love that is real.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
They often come across men that they're not actually compatible with,
and they have, you know, they make deep emotional connections
with men who are just unavailable, and that has trickled
all the way to The only exception to that is
a relative of hers who's actually married. But it's been
a kind of tumultual E sees me out to muchless marriage.

(12:21):
It hasn't been peaceful, it hasn't been like a great marriage,
if you will. Also with the women and her family,
this probably goes into genealogy, but the women in her family,
most of them suffer from some form of bipolarism or schizophrenia.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
A couple of them have both.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Okay, right, but there were no traces of that, any
known traces of that before this lady pissed his man off.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Essentially correct. Yeah, so with that, and that's what we
consider the curse, right, correct?

Speaker 4 (12:53):
What do you think about that one?

Speaker 2 (12:55):
So? I do believe that they're real.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
You know, I've seen them. I have seen you know,
people be put in jars and the outcomes of that
and things like that. I have seen people's lives be
ruined by crossing the wrong person.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
So I do feel like it's a real thing.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
But I also know that if someone can put a
he a curse rootwork on you, then you can undo it.
But it's all it tastes is a matter of understanding
the problem in the situation and.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Doing what you need you to make amends for it.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Okay, but what does that look like today? Because you
know me, I look at things a little different.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Of course you do, I do, right, But that's also
because our practices are completely different.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Right.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
So so for me what I'm saying, no, according it's
common sense to me.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
You're like Eric, that shit, I make no sense.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
No, but it does make sense, right, And the reason
it makes sense to me is because I understand that
I'm not, so you know, ego driven and pride driven.
And what I believe is that I can explain everything
that happens, and I can't and safe in the scenario
like that, I can't explain why it worked out like that,
but damn it did.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
And it's been generations at least four that I can
think of, right, And it wasn't until my friend that
somebody actually sat down and started trying to understand it
and what it was and why it happened, and what
can be done about it?

Speaker 4 (14:09):
Okay, So what can be done in the scenario like that?

Speaker 1 (14:12):
So oftentimes it comes from literally making amends, right, But
I mean, this has been so far removed that I
don't know that it can happen at this point. Right now,
I will say the men and her family are just fine,
married wives, children, all that live.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
In peag lives good.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Good.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
It's her, her sisters, her cousins, her aunts. They have
no look.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
But I get that, you know. And so when I
look at scenarios like that, I have to look at
it and ground it in some form of not saying
that that ain't reality, but reality like far as tangible
I can touch, you know, because if I look at
it as a way of it had to be like
psychological or social patterns in some way. And the reason

(15:02):
I have to look at it like that is because
if I don't see it that way, I don't believe
I can fix it. And so it's one of those
scenarios where we have to be able to rectify this
scenario because if I leave it as hey, it's just
a curse, then I'm like, oh, it's screwed. Let's not
have we go, do we go do house of Usha?
So let's not have no kids nothing, So we gotta

(15:24):
be able to solve that. And that's why I look
at it that way.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
So I hear what you're saying, right, But that that
also just goes back to maybe a lack of understanding,
not just on your part but anybody's part who doesn't
practice right. Everything is not tangible, especially when when you're
deal you know, when you're playing with and dealing with
with spiritual things is never going to.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Be tangible like that.

Speaker 4 (15:48):
So you're saying they fucked.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Unless someone figures out how to fix it.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Absolutely, So you don't think, do.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
I think she can fix it?

Speaker 1 (15:56):
And I've had this conversation with her, Yes, I have,
But you got to do the work to fix it.
You have to have real conversations with real people who
know more about this.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Than you do.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
So you don't think this is a psychological thing as well.
I will say this the things that's just been passed
down because I believe it.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Now I do think. Now I'm glad you put that
part up right. I do think that you know, sometimes
curses last a lot longer than they have to, just
because it's like any other tradition or Lord, it's passed down, right.
But I have seen this with her with my own
two eyes, And had I not seen it myself, I

(16:34):
would be like any kind of tripping. Of course, it's
not it lasted that long, right, But I've seen it firsthand,
and I've been amazed myself, Like damn, okay, that is
what it is. Now it becomes how to do the
work to reverse it, to fix it. But you know,
but at this point, she's just gotten to the point
to where she's like, you know what, I'm cool at

(16:55):
this point, live my life alone. I don't need a partner,
I don't need a husband.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
But goes into kind of like safe instance epigenetics. Okay,
I'm not trying to stretch or reach with this one,
but but safe instance. Matter of fact, before we even
get into epigenetics, give us the definition of jet epigenetics. Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
So epigenetics is the study of how environmental factors and
behaviors can alter gene expression without changing the DNA sequence.
Epigenetics is concerned with how sales control gene activity and
how these changes can impact health. Now, let me go
out to say this, if that definition was a lot
for people. It's the same as say, for instance, how

(17:38):
black people often talk about having post traumatic slave syndrome
or disorder. Right, Yeah, that those things, those are things
that people today, although we did not live that experience,
we still have trauma from that because it's been passed
down through genealogy. It's correct, you know, through years and
years and generations and generations the same thing. So it's

(18:01):
not saying that your DNA on a molecular level has
been changed, but your genes they're altered in some way
because of some kind of past trauma or something that's
happened to you.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Right, it doesn't. So this is to understand this. It
does not change DNA. No, this does not change DNA.
This is only genes. So safe insance if you learn
something like if you're a horrible communicator and you begin
to have kids, it's a big chance that your kid
is going to be horrible communicators too, not only just

(18:33):
through genes, but on top of that, we're talking about behaviors,
behaviors too. Yeah, and so yeah, go for it.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Being I was going to say, you know, I say
all the time, right, we're talking about you know, altering genes.
I've told you and I told Cleve other people this
goes back to the old poem. You know, children live
what they learn, right, So if your kid grows up
in a house and inside of that house they hear yelling,
cussy fighting, all that that is now given that child

(19:05):
a trauma response to things, and that trauma is changing
that child's genes. Also on top of that, that child
is learning those negative behaviors.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
So now you have, in my opinion, fucked your child twice.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yes, you know, because that's how a lot of us,
you know, we have anxiety, and a lot of that
shit stems from our childhood.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Depression is passed on right or safe For instance, I'm
familiar with it. Even in family women were affected by
this one family women that I know a lot of
them had mental disorders, you know, like like bipolar. Yeah, yeah,
and it was passed down. You know, but that was
genetic and also becomes in this instance, this is epigenetics

(19:53):
because it was passed down through genes. Yes, but when
I say psychological and social pattern, okay, I might be
reaching a little bit with that one, but but I'm
okay with that. But I'm alright with this. But you
can get helpful that's what I'm saying, Yes, you know,
and I'm not saying that. You know, hey, hey everybody,

(20:15):
I'm not saying, hey, if you got bipolarism and you
need to take medicine, taking medicine, Okay, that's what you
have to do, taking medicine. I'm not saying it. But
their eels help for that today. So you don't continue
to pass that down. So you know, we was even
also having you know, conversations before and you told me, hey, Cortney,
you're reaching you're reaching a little bit too far with

(20:37):
this one. And what this was white is is is
this right here, was having this conversation about how people
act with one another. So if it someone when someone
black comes across comes across a white person, right, they
come across a white person, might not have ever met

(20:58):
a white person, but they automatically know how they need
to respond to it.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
They act different of around what they consider what it
is to be white.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay, or even we'll reverse it. With white people. They
have a preconceived notion about what black people are, and
they think all black people are a certain way. So
when they get around them, even if they never met
a black person, they have a preconceived notion of what
a black person is. But they're passing it down to
the kids, and the kids believe.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
It to But that's a learned behavior, right, I don't.
I don't think you know I told you this, then
I do not. Yes, you are, because that's a learned behavior, right.
Because my thing is this, even though that black person
may have never met a white person, they've seen movies. Okay,
so they watch TV, they see the news, and the
same for the you know, for a white person. You know,

(21:45):
if you see if you watch the news, there's not
very many good things about black people on the news. Ever,
that is correct, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
So that that's a learned that's a learned behavior. Okay,
So this is a question, Eric, do you not think
that it's altering people's genes and passing it down.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
The jury's out on it.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Oh, I'm finish.

Speaker 4 (22:06):
I got hold on because you love Jeopardy, So I'm
gonna hit that.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Do do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do Do Do Do do do do.
The jury is out on that because I don't.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
So you don't think what we consume ultras eyed gens
at all, Like it has no effect on who we become.
I do because I do.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
I think that that it teaches us learned behaviors.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
I don't know that.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
I would go so far as to say that it
affects our genes.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
But you wouldn't go that far to say that, No,
I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
Okay, So can you describe like the difference between learned
behaviors and epigenetics? Then how do you see that?

Speaker 1 (22:48):
I'm not a geneticist? I know, I'm just therefore, no,
I cannot.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Okay, all right, just asking because it's a very interesting
topic to me, because I don't think I'm reaching on
this one. I think what we can has altered who
we are. So even when we don't come across people,
we have a preconceived notion of what they are, and
we pass it down to our kids.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
And then what we'll do is we can we can
put a pole on the Facebook page and after people
listen to this, right, We'll put a pole up and
let folks listen to it, and then we can have
a conversation on.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Facebook about it, yeah, and see what people think.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Because because honestly, I don't know, I'm open, right, I'm
always open to change my mind. But I'm always open
to change my mind. I'm not so closed closed mind
while I think I'm the only right answer, especially why

(23:42):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
I'm just now learned about epigenetics.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
I don't know, right, But I don't think I'm reaching
out on this one and all you know, jokes aciety.
I know it just made a crazy one that was
off that no one could see. Okay, but but but no,
I do.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
I do believe that is all a true, true thing.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
So we'll go into the question of kind of you
mentioned post traumatic slave syndroma. Yes, how do you think
that's affected, say, for instance, like where there's black people,
you know, or any other type of culture that's not
necessarily considered you know, because we use that, you know,
as black people post traumatic slaves syndrome.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Because in America that's what that's how it's defined.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
What this is, you know.

Speaker 4 (24:24):
So how do you think people are being affected by that?

Speaker 1 (24:27):
I mean, you know, I think right, even still today,
I feel like there is sometimes an inherent fear of
people who don't look like you. I say it's an
inherent fear. But also we're shown every day how people
who don't necessarily look like us, don't give a damn

(24:48):
about us or our outcome.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
So that's epigenetics too then, yes, far as being able
to pass down the feature, yeah yeah, yeah for sure, right, yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
Okay, you know, so what else you got on now on.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Which went exactly cultraumatic slave or I can keep going, yeah, yeah, but.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
That's a that's an epigenetic issue though, it is you know,
you know, the fear response or even how we will
go into like black mothers, well we'll just use black
mothers and you know, you know, saying how they're always
over protective of their sons. There's a reason why. But
there's a reason why, yes to this day.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
That goes back four or five hundred years.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, to this day, yes, because those mothers protected their sons.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
And they still do it today.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Now today, I will say it looks different, and I
don't think that what they what they perceive as protection
is what young black men need. You know, it's one thing,
you know, to have Life three sixty on your kid's phone,
even your adult child right on your phone, or parents
calling every day. I just called to hear your voice
and you okay, right, But I do feel like that

(25:55):
a lot of times, mothers tend to be overprotective.

Speaker 4 (26:02):
They're overprotective, you know, yeah, too much.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, and also you know, but they but but there
the relationship, the relationship between mothers and daughters all restrained
a little bit too.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
But they even back then, they were, they were, they were,
and that's been passed on.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, absolutely even to this day. But you know what
bothers me today is that we try to explain the
shit away like like like like it don't matter, like,
oh that that happened so long ago, it don't matter.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
No, it passed on.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
I mean, it just looks a little different today because
we're in a different time.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
You know, just because we are no longer picking cotton
and fields, that does not mean that that those those
feelings have just gone away.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Right.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
It's the same as you know how I've told you before,
it's no secret I'm mixed right by racial white mother,
black father. It's no different than how black people today
are being called back to their roots like and sexrally,
they just feel it. You got black folks creating homesteads
and farms and using holistic medicine. These are the things

(27:07):
that we have always done right for generations. We were
removed because through you know, segregation and other things like that,
we wanted to fit in and assimilate and be a
part of and have the same have the same chances
as our counterparts. But today, right, well we have the
same chance. It's hardest hell to get there, but we

(27:28):
do have.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
The same chances they have.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
It takes a few more hoops to jump through, a
few more levels to go up, but we can amass
the same wealth that they have now.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Right.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
But that being the case, people are tired of living
as rat race, right like, and I'll just use millennials.
We are the generation who's like fuck that, and we're
studying the past, you know, and becoming more educated and
then studying the past or learning like this, this is
my birthright, this is who we were, this is what
we are. We can go back to what we used

(28:01):
to do to take care of ourselves with that happened
to be in the field and all that other shit.

Speaker 4 (28:05):
But what we have to do is use the past
as a as a teacher.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
That's a guide.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
We got to use the knowledge and the power of
the past, and we can't hold on to it, yes,
but also we need to we need to understand you know,
even between you and I and those who are listening
as well, when we're talking about what's being passed down
in these and epigenetics or things like that, we are
talking about things that happened that that's happening before you

(28:31):
were ever not just conceived, but before you ever thought about.
So this is actually happening around three to four generations out. Yes,
so even by the time the fourth generation gets it,
if it don't change, they get it, you know. So
there's a shift. And it was you know for years,
like when I was growing up, growing up, and I'm
sure you heard it too, you know, when doctors would

(28:52):
always say, hey, you have to make sure that you
know during your pregnancy that you know that you're okay
and that you're good. But no one what never say
is that you need to make sure that you're okay
before you're ever pregnant, because it's not just the pregnancy
and what happens and there's the stress doing that pregnancy,
it's the stress that happened before then that determines the

(29:13):
outcome of that child.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
So think about it like this, right, as a woman,
a baby girl who was born, the baby girl that
is born, she is born with two generations of eggs
inside of her and know all the eggs she will
ever have.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
Yep, right, that's the fact.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
So now you have your grandmother's eggs, your mother's eggs,
and now yours.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, so you have a daughter, I have jade.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
Right, So Regina's eggs, Erica's eggs are now in jade.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Right.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
And that is why I have tried to work so hard.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
You know, to make her a complete woman, right, to
let her know that it's okay to be yourself, to
accept yourself, it's okay to feel these emotions and feelings.
Because if the eggs that I have passed down to
a a whole woman, right, who who doesn't have trauma responses?
Who doesn't who doesn't have to thrive in chaos and

(30:07):
being broken and.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
Shit like I was.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
We are literally healing genes as we go, that is true. Right.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
So that means that my grandchildren, our grandchildren have the
potential to never feel any of this shit.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Right. But you know, going to that, You'll probably say
I'm stretching or I'm reaching again, because I'm a reaching
like you're reaching up. I'm a reaching ass guy. I
reach Yeah, But you know, so we're talking about making
things better, yes, passing things on, yes, but this goes

(30:40):
into kind of the post traumatic slave syndrome. But it's
not that. But this is about Jewish people because of
what they experienced pretty much during the Holocaust. Okay, this
is what they experienced doing the Holocaust, and I'm saying
it is because they were almost eradicated. We know that
a lot of them perished and the most violent way.

(31:00):
But you know what they did. They turn that, they
turned that thing around. And like I said, I know
I'm reaching, but people understand where I'm going with this.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
You know, I don't think you're reaching. I'm telling you,
I don't think you're reaching it.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. And is
this They have taken control over many things in their
life after that event. After that event, they're in media,
you know, I'm talking about like our music, the movies, bank, news, banking,
do the.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Jewelry industry, jewelry, thank you, diamonds, gold, They are.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
In all of those areas and places. They said, you
know what, I'm going to make sure that this never
happens again. And so they doubled down on changing that
their generations after that. See, I'm not going to say
they see things as in a positive way, they see
the possibilities of what can happen and not being you know,
affected by the trauma in a negative way.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Well, all they know is possibilities.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
So so now that trauma has been turned into something
more positive because they determine the outcome. They didn't. They
weren't victims of the outcome. They took advantage of it. Correct,
So it's different. So that's epigenetics on a totally different
level if you.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
Ask me, well, it's it's literally like I tell you
all the time, you know, night and day.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Right, So, where it's been all negative for black people, yes,
they have been able to take that shit literally, do
it one eighty with it and be like we're never
going back again, yeah, and mean it.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
But also, unlike.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Us, they have a foothold a little bit of everywhere,
right they do, I mean, but also just being fair,
like us, they don't have a home to go back
to either, right, They've never had a home like that,
So in that way, where alike, the only difference there
is it's the amount of melanin in one skin. That's
the only damn difference, right, The only difference is they

(32:52):
haven't been taught their whole like they're least standing beneath.
This has been drilled into people's into black folks's head
since the early sixteen hundreds.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
No, but that's a poverty mindset though, that that and
not even just in the pockets, but also in your mind,
you know, especially you know when we're talking about our
culture and when you think of other cultures, is always
better than you. I found it very problematic, you know,
it's not too much different like when you have you've

(33:22):
had friends who said, hey, why you acting why you
talking so white?

Speaker 4 (33:27):
If you hadn't been a victim of it, you probably
heard somebody who said it.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Oh yeah, I've definitely been a victim of it.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, why you're talking so white while you acting white?
And see if white is better?

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Well, and for me, the question has always been that's
been dumb as hell because I was literally raised by
white people. Right, So for me, I don't know why
you even asked that question.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Right.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
We have friends very intelligent black people, like with PhDs,
you know, doctorates, things like that, and for someone to
sit instead of someone telling them how intelligent they are,
it's why you're trying to be white. As though white
is the supreme standard.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Here's the standard, like that's that's our god. Yeah, yeah,
it's like this the.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
God, yeah, you know, and things like that frustrate me
because these same people who are asking us these questions
are the same people who and I'm not knocking anybody, right,
you do what you do, But the same folks asking
us these these questions are the same people who are
still in the same neighborhoods that we came from.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
But overall, I say, we have a very very shit subculture.
Though that's just me. I believe we have a ship
sub culture, you know, But what do you mean our
sub culture? You don't like the things that we like.
And I'm not saying that anything that's wrong with hip
hop or anything like that. It's the mindset that comes
along with loving those things sometimes because we can't separate

(34:49):
the entertainment portion of it from reality. You know, we
think that is our reality, and so we can never
separate ourselves from it. And so that's do you see
what I'm going with that?

Speaker 3 (35:00):
I do see where you're going with that.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
See, but then here here is my issue with that,
right or like not reading Oh god, that's a different
I could go on a tangent about that, probably for
a whole episode.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
We talk about people who don't read. You know, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
But so here's my thing with that though. Right when
it comes to some music, it takes hold of people
because literally, when you listen to it, you can relate
to it. Now, that's why we have to be careful
with what we consume, right, have to be careful with
what you let your kids consume. And I'm not not
knocking anybody, but there is no reason why you got

(35:35):
a seven year old who can't read, who can't write well,
who can't comprehend, and who can't do basic math, but
can sing every damn word to a sexy red song.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I have a problem with that.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
And that's a poverty mind state. Right now, that being said,
somebody say, what Erica, So if she could read and write.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
And do this and do that, it would be okay?

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yes, because her parents are there's a difference.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Yeah, so yes, it would be different.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Different. Now.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
I don't think any young child should be out here,
Lord knows, singing nothing sixty red at all. But at
the same time, it's a lot easier for your child
to be to differentiate between music and reality when they
can do basic things like comprehend what the hell's going on?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah, And so that's the whole point of what I'm
trying to make is that those right there are poverty
mind states, and we hadn't been able to separate ourselves
from fiction from reality.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Enough of us, haven't. We haven't been able to know that.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Subculture has taken a hold and has taken the root
in such a way that we look at that thing
as it's what guides us. To a degree it is,
you know, it guides us, and we crap on other
people who are not like us, who don't you know,
who don't give into the sub culture, who's not part
of the subculture. If you outside of the subculture, you
know what we belong you don't belong here. So you know,

(36:57):
reading will be looked down upon.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
It is, you know, and it's crazy as it sounds.
I'm gonna go ahead and say, because you know what
irritated my soul very very badly. I feel like people
like Kanye West who tell people I don't read, and
people look up to you and admire you and want
to be like you.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
That's problematic to me.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
But that's also a big big problem today too. It
is how we get our information. Yes, most of us
don't read, you know like that. You know, we get
most of our information from social media, and that right
there shapes our beliefs and you know, and how we
pass information along. So when we're talking about this generational thing,
even how we pass information along becomes generational. Absolutely, So

(37:41):
by the time the next generation comes up and they
think that, hey, this is how I'm supposed to gather
my information to make a decent decision is wrong. You
can't make a decent decision by gathering only information on
things from social media. Is You can't do that well,
you know, because we don't know how factual most of
that stuff is. But we're passing on lies.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
So and that I'm glad you brought that point up
because I was going to ask you, so, do you
think social media would be different if there were like
built in fact checkers like Snopes for instance.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
I love that website.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
I love that news source because it's gonna say even
if it's real, it's false, They're gonna do the research
and put it out there for you. But if there
was something like Snopes built into like say a Twitter
or a Facebook, do you think.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
That would make a difference in the way people interact
with it.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah, I do believe that for sure. But I also
believe this too, is that it'll never happen. Of course
it won't, you know, because the misinformation is it's a
hell of a weapon. It's a hell of a weapon,
and it's being used to pass along misinformation. So if
I so, based off this conversation, if I can pass

(38:50):
you along bad information, you know, via social media, everybody
believe the same thing, because this is what this is
group think, correct, you see what this is, you know,
So if I can give everybody the same information, it'd
be easy for you to pass along.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
So here's my thing with that. I think you and
I talked about this already.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
There were more than.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Sixty percent of people who voted who got all of
their political information from social media.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
That's troubling, it is. That's quite bothersome to me. So
let me let me ask you this. Then, Do you
think that bad habits and negative behaviors have a detrimental
effect on generations of people?

Speaker 4 (39:36):
Yeah, yeah, I do. I do think bad habits.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I mean it's easy to pass them down because it
was an old it was an old study that I
that I read.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
But it's proven that kids are more likely to smoke
if their parents smoke, if they witness their parents' moke.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, we talked about that. I remember that, you know,
So whatever happens, whatever's being witnessed, it's easy to pass on.
That's just through just being a part of it. So yeah,
I do believe that, hands down. But I also believe
that you can pass down good things too well. Yeah, absolutely, yeah,
you know, like this right here now, I was in

(40:13):
one of the jobs. I was working at. It as
a print company, but that but it was ran by
a family. That print company was running by family was
a commercial a commercial printing business, and it was a
grandson that was there and he worked literally every job,
and it was before I got there, but he had

(40:35):
worked every job, you know, from like, what was it
what was it that I did? I did ka pre
press there you go. I was like, yeah, it was
pre press a lot there, So yeah, I did pre press,
graphic design there, That's what I did. But he had
worked that area. He worked sales, he worked the press

(40:58):
day and nights at one point. But the reason he
did this is because he always wanted to run the business,
and his grandfather said, you can never do it and
live unless you know everything here.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
And eventually, you know, he passed away. He was a
good guy.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I liked him. But to this day his grandson is
running that business. So he passed down something great to
his grandson. He was saying that, hey, if you want it,
you gotta work your ass off to get You got
to earn your way, But everybody in that family did.
Because his brother owned a pent shop, they merged. It

(41:35):
was two brothers, all the daughters, some of the sons,
and a grandson all in one business. So they passed
down good shit. Good things can be passed down, not
just bad habits, not just witnessing bad, but also witnessing
and experiencing what it means to be good too. Absolutely,
And when I looked at that, when I saw that family,

(41:56):
that definitely changed my outlook on how family could and
or should operate.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Oh definitely, definitely.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
I think about them all the time because I still
love the business, and when I get a change, sometimes
I go up there just to see how everybody's doing,
because they changed my life. They told me what hard
work was. Even on my end. We're talking about fourteen
sixteen hour days sometimes or longer. Yeah, yeah, it happened.
So it's one of those things where you know, what, hey,
we we We can witness bad things, you know, or

(42:28):
things that that does not determine a good outcome of
our life, but there's also good things that can be
passed down to and we need to be paid and
we need to pay attention to it, and we need
to put in the work so we can actually pass
those things on, because if we can't, if we don't
pass those things along, then we're going to continue to
repeat what has already happened.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
And that's what this whole conversation is about.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
Anyway. This conversation is about why we are the way
we are because of things what has happened. The reason
why we are what we what what we are is
because of the things that happened outside of our control.
Not too much different from the conversation we had before,
which was about fate and predestination, and this has predestination

(43:10):
written all over it.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Well, so you know what, I agree with you, right,
And I love a good hope story, you know, I
love a good positive story.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
But you know, I think it's also.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Very important to highlight the negative parenting behaviors that people
have that have been passed down that we may not know, right,
that we may.

Speaker 4 (43:28):
Not see bad communication.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Oh that's a number one.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, or just how about just the inability to communicate period? Right,
we have that one, and then you know, you go
a step further to where, like you mentioned earlier, you know,
mothers protecting their sons but fighting their daughters. Yes, let's
talk about that one. You know, we've seen it firsthand.
We've seen it through friends. I'm sure when you were
in school you saw it with like girls and their mothers.

(43:52):
They didn't get along, couldn't stand each other. Mothers were
often quick to put their daughters out the house fourteen
fifteen sixteen. I know I had more couple friends who
slept at our house when I was in high school because,
you know me, mom didn't play that shit. The kid's
not safe. Now you're going to stay here until you
are safe. That she's you know, that's how my folks were.
Like on the flip side of that, you know, you
have these mothers who go out of their way to

(44:16):
protect one child while simultaneously shitting on another one.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
And I don't think people.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Realize that that is how you break families.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
That's how you create siblings who don't like each other.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, and you know they don't know why they don't
like each other, or you know, you always wonder why
the eldest daughter just stopped fucking with the family. What
kind of hell did you put her through? You know, like,
what what did you do that drove her way? Because
no one just outright chooses to not deal with their family.
There's always something there underlying, there.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
Is always something under line.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
But I don't believe we know what it means to
have a good relationship. But this goes into what you're saying,
I don't believe we know what a good relationlationship overall
looks like what are the components? Well, I was aship.
I was getting to that, you know, and we don't.
And we don't because unfortunately a lot of us have
never seen it. And that goes back to the beginning

(45:13):
of our conversation. Yes, the behavioral part.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Of epigenetics, and you know, the trauma that sticks with us,
Like for most people it's oh, well my mama was
the same way or my dad was the same way.
That doesn't make it okay, right at some point these
things can be changed, and that that's the whole purpose
of this conversation today. You know, it's to know that
maybe your mama put you out when you were seventeen

(45:37):
and you weren't ready to be put out. You don't
have to treat your daughter like shit. You don't have
to fight your daughter. You don't have to talk to
her like shit and call her bitches and holes and
say she ain't gonna be shit and things like that,
just because it happened to you. At some point, you
have to break that. I've said it before. You got
to break that curse, bro.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
You do. But you know what I've literally sene you know,
like generations of folotlessness, you know, like you know, like
it was passed down like one. You know, the first
one in the generation didn't have one, and it passed
on even down to this one right here because he
didn't know how. He didn't They don't know how. I've

(46:19):
seen generations of women who cannot hold on to a man.
I'm not saying like that in like a negative way,
but they always have like some negative relationship going on
there where they where it can't be maintained or held onto.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Right you know, and but that goes into why I've
said a million times and so have you?

Speaker 3 (46:38):
Two parent households are important.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
It is, but this goes into again I mentioned earlier, psychological, psychological,
and social patterns. So when we go back to the beginning,
when we talk about like family curses, like legit curses,
like legit curses, it's hard for me just look at
it as a legit curse. Do I understand it? Yes?
But I can't hold it there because I have to say,

(47:03):
you know what, this has to be corrected in some way.
It's something that we can be able to do, like
patterns or things like books, we can pick up help
that we can go and get to begin to shift
this balance, just a tad bit, because otherwise I don't
see how it can be changed if we don't actually
put forth effort. Otherwise we're going to only repeat what happened.

(47:25):
We're only going to repeat the fact that I didn't
have a fallow. So I don't know how to be
a follow so I'm not gonna do it either. I'm
not saying that that's exactly how it happens, but it happens, well,
I mean it happens sometimes.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
But then again on the flip side of that, right,
you have men who we know a couple of them, right,
who didn't have a daddy and who turned out.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
To be really great damn daddies because.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
They didn't have one and they didn't want their children.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
To fit the way they felt. So they go above
and beyond. You know, they don't miss nothing, They're there
for everything. Yeah, so you know it's I think it's
one of those two fold things, right. It depends on
how it affects you and how it makes you want
to change. Example, I know I over mother Jade, I
know I do. I didn't have that right, and that

(48:07):
is a hole that my child will never feel in
that regard. She will know how Mama's always gonna be there,
will always show up when from the time she wakes
up to the time she goes back to bed, unless
I'm traveling for work, her Mama's gonna be her face.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
So I'll ask if you don't, if you don't want
to respond, don't you know, we just push it, push
it on. Are there anythings like generational that affected you?

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:32):
Okay, yeah, there was.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
So my I don't know about my big Mama, which
was my great grandmother's mother.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
So my great gat grandmother, I don't know about her.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
I mean, I was alive at the same time she was,
but I don't know about like her, her parenting style
or whatever. But I do know that my Nanna didn't
have a good relationship with my grandmother.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
She treated her like shit.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
And then you had my grandmother, who had my mother
and my two aunts, right, and my grandmother was a
she was a really damn good mama, right, But along
the way, somehow my mother decided that she wasn't a
mama that she wanted. Right, So my mother treated my

(49:17):
grandmother like shit, and then in turn said that my
grandmother never loved her and that she tells her two
sisters over her, while ignoring the behaviors that pushed my
grandmother to be like, girl, what the fuck won't you right?
And so in turn, my mother, throughout her trauma, herself
inflicted trauma and bullshit, she was a shitty MoMA to me, right,

(49:41):
So you get to me and then I have Jade.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
You know, I was terrified to have the kid. I
cried probably the first my whole first trial, Master.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
I think I cried like if it were not for you,
and honestly, probably Ashley, because the first time I said,
I was like, Okay, I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
I was scared.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
I was like, I don't want to be a parent
because I know I'm fucked up. I know I am,
and I'm a fuck this kid up. This kid is innocent.
Don't deserve this right. So I had a choice to
make from the time she was born. I told you, like,
I don't ever want her to feel anything I felt anyway,
so I go above and beyond to make sure she doesn't.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
And that's not always a positive thing.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Yeah, but you know, you live and you learn right,
and in doing so, you learn how to be a
better person. And if you're an intelligent person, you do
the work right. You go to therapy or you do
you know, you do shadow work on your own. You
guide yourself through your your transition of being fixed. You
find what grounds you. So I don't know what I

(50:46):
would have been had I never had that kid, but
I'm thankful that she's here because she did make me
a better person, right. You know, she taught me that
I had to own my bullshit and I couldn't. I
couldn't hold on to it. Now the damn such as
that is learning how to own my bullshit and going
through it. I unlocked so much I didn't even know.

(51:06):
I had no idea that every day was a day
that I thrived in chaos. And that's not a good thing, right,
That's not a positive at all. There's one thing to
be able to function in chaos, like chaotic work environment.
Maybe you're moving, you know, and your house is a mess,
it's a wreck. That kind of chaos is okay. It's
not okay to live every day your life and turmoil
in some way and not know it, because when you

(51:28):
do that, you bleed on other people that don't desert,
whether it be friends, you know, family, significant others, your children.
There are a lot of women out here me and
too well. There are a lot of women out here
who are thriving in chaos and have no idea and
have no idea how to fix it. But you need
to because mothers are important. Like a father is there

(51:50):
you know, to be the strong, to be the strong type,
to teach their children how to be strong and how
to move forward and how to get things done to
protect their children. But a mother, your job is to
nurture these babies. That's where they learn it. That's where
it comes from. They learn how to love and how
to be kind and how to be gracious from their mother.
But that mother needs an environment to be able to

(52:13):
do that. That environment starts with you. A man doesn't
give you that. That's what you do on your own.
And unfortunately the women in my family before me have
never done that. That's why a lot of them now
don't talk to me. I'll tell them in a minute. No,
I'm not a strong independent woman.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
You have for what? Why? Like, honestly, why look at
what happened to y'all. All?

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Y'all are broken and fucked up? Why do I want
to be that? I'm not teaching my dad to be that.
You got a daddy, Call your daddy. You don't feel good,
you want to wine and cry, Call your daddy some
of your room. You don't want to pick up. It's
a bug. You can't hang that thing back up. Call
your daddy. That's what it's for. That's what dads are for.

(52:55):
That's what parents are for.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
You said that's what it is for. Yeah, you literally
just said that it was good. He was doing good.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
I'm still good, and you just stopped me and that
was so rude.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
And you just said, that's what it is for, that's
what it's for. Well, damn America.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
That's but that but that that's my man appreciation teams,
you know what I mean. It's like like but seriously though,
like in our honesty, if I could go back and
redo anything, I don't know that I would because the
ship that I went through mayde who I am today,
and it's teaching. It's it's allowed me to be able
to teach Jay to be the kind of woman that
she needs to be. And that is how you break

(53:34):
bad habits and behaviors.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
It is but excuse me. But also some things that
I talked about either as far as breaking a bad
habit or behavior, and we're talking about the end, like
the very end death, death, no more, right, bad habits
in passing down, not knowing how to properly do with

(54:00):
shit like that, that is a problem, you know, you know,
people dying and having to do T shirts and fish plates.
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
Like when I was running the insurance, I came across
a guy and was getting and I was trying to
sell a guy insurance. You know, I was going through
my pitch. I did everything that was supposed to do,

(54:21):
and the guy said, he said, well, why do I
need insurance? You know I'll be dead. It won't bother me.
You know, it won't be my problem. That's what he said.
He said, I'll be dead, it won't bother me, it
won't be my problem. I've always wondered, like, how much
did that guy really give a damn about those people
in his life because that was going to be their problem,

(54:42):
not his.

Speaker 4 (54:43):
So everybody, I don't want you to understand. You need
to get.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Those things in order. Make sure that it's okay. Make
sure that people can grieve you.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Properly and not hate your ass a way and not
hate your ass after they gone.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Yeah, make sure that your shit is together. Okay, you
have to do that because when people are gone, you know,
you want them to be able to miss you and
not miss the ship that you left behind for them
to deal with. Make sure that it's altogether, because that
is a habit that needs to be broken, and it's
definitely needs to be broken inside of certain cultures, families.

Speaker 3 (55:17):
You know.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
So, But I'm glad you brought that point of about
life insurance. Though, because life insurance is one of the
easiest ways today, right, if you use it right, it's
called life insurance because it's for the living. Right, it
pays out when you're dead, but if you do it right,
it pays your dividends while you're alive. If you do
it right, maybe you don't benefit financially from that, but

(55:39):
if you purchase the right amount at the right age,
your children will never be broke again.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
It's one of the top ways that wealth has passed. Now, yes,
you know, I think lawsuits is number one as far
as making money. It is in America, somebody for anything,
but life insurance is the number one way to create wealth,
generational wealth. So please get those things in order, ladies

(56:09):
and gentlemen, Okay, be able to pass down wealth. And
the easiest way it is to pass down wealth we're
talking about. You can get policies for damn twenty twenty
five dollars a month. Some of us buy more marijuana
than that.

Speaker 4 (56:26):
In a month, okay, a day.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
You know what I'm saying. We buy more liquid than that,
we know, we you know, we buy more definitely cigarettes.
Oh man, oh my god, they're so expensive.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
I don't know why people smoke. Oh I don't know
why people.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
So what you can get, you know, in life insurance
in like one month, I mean in a you know,
you know, in one month, you end up paying double
that more than double that in cigarettes. So with that
being said, unresolve issues. Don't in with with just us.

(57:02):
It can actually continue on even after we're going. So
don't treat your family like that. Ladies and gentlemen. Your
problem becomes your family's problems if you don't resolve them
today in the most proper manner possible. That alleviates the
burden of your loss, you know, when you're not here anymore.

(57:23):
So don't be like that gentleman that that that's said, Hey,
what do I need it? Like insurance for I'll be dead,
it won't be my problem. Don't be like him. Okay,
And also I don't think that I sold insurance to
him either, So.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
But the probably didn't I'm sure he didn't want it.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
No, No, he definitely. I think that was proven that
he didn't want the insurance.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Yeah, he didn't really care about himself or him family. Yeah,
he didn't really give it.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
I should do a do a follow up, remember I remember.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Well, he probably did, and they had to see a
fish placing T shirts.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
Yeah, that's what I want to see you so I
can prove it, like, yeah, I knew it.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
That's not very studious of life of you.

Speaker 4 (58:09):
If it's not.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
But I wouldn't do that though, So you know what.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
I do have a question though.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
You know, we've been talking about all the different parts
of this as like individuals or as like single family units. Right, okay,
so what about the part of of I guess, genealogy, epigenetics,
whatever you want to say, behaviors, right, group think? Because

(58:36):
group think causes a lot of problems, right, you know,
Like one of the greatest examples I can think of,
the recent example is the storming of the Capitol when
you wear the sixth right, I guarantee you most of
those people who were there would not have done that
alone or.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
With just two or three people.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
It was the entire group of hundreds of people that
got together like, yeah, we're going to do this. So
it in my opinion, I think most of the time
group think tends to be a negative thing. I'm pretty
sure it could have positive, you know, connotations to it

(59:17):
if we reframe what the group think is. But overall,
How do you think that group think plays into the
behavioral part of epigenetics.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
No, I could say that at one point, you know,
it's process is in this on the spot right now,
is there might be some epigenetic characteristics to group think. Not.
You know, I probably didn't think that at one point,
but it got some characteristics only because.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
As humans we need to be with other people.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
We need to be with other people. So I believe
that it's just something that's inherently passed down, not just
from a cultural thing, but people in general, because we
need to be with other people, and we love to
be with other people. But it's also one of our
weaknesses because it's used against us.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Okay, so do you think we've been speaking about the
past a lot during this episode, right? Do you think
that is a form of like do you I want
to phrase this question right so that you're not like,
what the hell you're trying to say?

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Erica?

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
So do you think that possibly like the village mindset
right that we have? Do you think that the village
mindset of like our ancestors or people from back in
the day, right, Because you know, growing up, you used
to ride your bike to the neighborhood and everyone would
know you because they knew your parents, right, So that
kind of village we once had. Do you think that
that village has somewhat died? And because of that now

(01:00:45):
we have group thinking. We just latch onto people or
things that we feel like we can relate to in
some way, even if it's not in the positive.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Yeah, to a degree, I would. I would say yeah,
without only because you know, when we had that that
village mind state, the mentality, it's because we all cared
about one another. That's how we grew up. But I
don't know at what point we grew apart, because even
when I grew up, that's how it was, when you

(01:01:14):
grew up, that's how it was. But today it's not
like that safe and so like even within families, people
don't anymore. People don't come together like that no more
in families. But I don't know exactly why it happened,
but I know that it did. But I do believe
that is an epigenetic situation because now once kids or

(01:01:38):
we saw growing up without our families, you know what
ends up happening. You know, we passed it on and
we only just deal with certain a certain group of
people within our family, you know, and so we don't
have the village mind state. Like when it was okay
for the neighbor to to put his or her foot
up your say, hey, I'm gonna tell your mom on you.
It was okay. But it now it's not like that.

(01:02:01):
Maybe it's a little bit of fear too, and people
just mind their own damn business. I can see that
maybe the people just starting to mind their own damn
business now. But also but this whole group.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Think thing is not necessarily just a group think.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
But what has happened and transpired it's the same model
that was used a long time ago, and it was
with Charlatan's. Charlatan's did this, they ended up and this
is this goes to what you were asking about individual
about individuals, and you know, in group think, but it's

(01:02:35):
this right here. Charlatan's realized talking to individuals didn't work
a long time ago. They realized it because you know,
they were the snake or salesman, that's what they did.
And they realized that going door to door didn't work.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
Yeah, you needed a group to feed up on one another.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
They needed they realized that the group is what fed
off each other and they were able to make the sales.
It didn't work, but it fed off one another. But
it's also the model that modern you know, how you
know church is today. It's the same model. You know,
so say, for instance, individual on an individual basis, I

(01:03:12):
don't believe that church would work like that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Why don't either you need those pews field or at
least half field, so that the people can feed off
of you and the you know, the the yes, past
and amens that drives the drives or sermon it does,
and the amount of money that goes into that potry
pass around.

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
Yeah, you know where there's church.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
But they I think they transcend, began to transcend that
model too, you know when TV came along, because then
they started putting on television. Yeah, but I think we
hit another point when it comes to group think. When
it came along the lines of like when the pandemic hit,
people can't.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Go to church, Nope. So now it's on social media.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
And so now it's social media, they found a new
way for people to congregate. Yeah. So the whole point
of this right here is that I do to a
degree believe that there's some form of epigenetics to group
thing because we have to be around people. I do
believe that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Well, you know, as humans, we're not meant to be alone.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
No, we're not. So when it comes it comes down
to that, since we have this inkling to always have
to be in groups or tribes in some nature.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
So that's yes too to that question.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
Even though at one point I didn't believe that epigenetics
could have possibly play a part in group thing, but
I can see that it does, and if it doesn't,
somebody can come and refute that or that. Now we
can have a conversation about it. I don't mind being
proved being proved wrong on that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
So you know that this is one time where.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
I actually agree with you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Oh wow, I agree, I have I have no rebuttaled
for that. I agree with that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:47):
Well, you've married me, so you agree with everything.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
I keep my response PG for the sake of not
getting canceled. We're just getting started. Hey, Hey, you know,
don't don't mess up. Okay, don't mess up the brand
that you've developed and built for yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Yeah. So with that being said, ladies and gentlemen, we
need to also understand that, you know, our identities are
shaped by the past because This is what this episode
is about. This is about our identities being shaped from
things that were out of our control. But this also
goes into many other episodes that we have. Our innocence

(01:05:28):
is lost because of things that's out of our control. Sometimes. Yeah,
you know, this goes into the other episode fate, you know,
or say, for instance, what about your purpose? Do you
lose it? Do you gain it? Because how do you
find it? How do you find it? You know, if
what we are is identified by past events, how do
you find it? No?

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
And if that's the case, as much as I hate
to say it, unless we choose to pivot or move
in a different direction. Unfortunately, people, you're stilling your fate.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
Yeah, so who we are, it's because of our lineage.
But we talked about epigenetics and I think this was
very important about this and even talking about you know curses,
you know, you know, the legit curses, but also you know,
help people break those things sometimes even even in our
modern day from a faith baithed perspective, that's what prayer

(01:06:21):
is for. Absolutely, that's what meditation is for. Yes, So
you know, if we're talking about legit and legitimate curses,
our faith and the things that we believe in can
help assist in breaking those things. Although what our past
is it doesn't have to always be.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
Our future, No it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Our job is to actually make sure that it doesn't
repeat itself. What we have to do is use the
knowledge of the past to reshape our future. I agree
with that. That's that's what we have to do. So
it becomes, you know, the saying. You know, they always say, oh,
it's always been said, Hey, you can't live you can't
live in the past. It's true because it because it

(01:07:01):
already happened.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
You can't change it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
You can't change it. You can't live in the future
because because it hadn't happened yet. Then they say, hey,
sometimes you just got to live for today. But if
you live for the day, you know what you can't do.
You can't create a future, you know. So this is
my theory. We got to live them all at the
same time. We got to live the past, the present,
and the future. We got to make it all work

(01:07:26):
and we can do that.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
How do you do that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
I can't say that I have a formula for that one.
I just know what it means for me. And sometimes
we have to understand what that means for us on
an individual level.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
So for you, what's look like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
For me, what it looks like is like say, fensance
when it comes to the past, because I was truly
affected by it in ways, you know, because I couldn't
let go.

Speaker 4 (01:07:49):
I was depressed. So living in the past, that's depression.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
It's hell, I mean depress if it's hell, And that
is what depression is to a degree, or save instance,
you know, you're always work about what's going to happen,
you know what. That's a lot of damn anxiety too,
you know. And then you know, and so what I
do now is that I combine them all together. And
how I do that is that I let go of
what was. You know, I don't necessarily worry about what

(01:08:15):
will be. I just focus on my present, you know,
to a degree, so we can get to the future.
I make my decisions, you know, in the moment, and
I make them count. And it's not because of hurt
that I'm holding on to. It's not about the worry about,
you know, the things that could happen in the future
that hadn't happened. I live in the present and I

(01:08:37):
use all those things for this moment, right here, right
now today, to make me a better man.

Speaker 4 (01:08:42):
That's what I do all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
I'm not always perfect at doing it, but that is
how I do it. By separating myself from what happened
and sometimes the things that I'm worried about in the future,
let them go wrap it all together and use that
knowledge to move you forward for today. That's what I do.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
Has that had like a has it had a real
impact on how you feel and how you move?

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
Yeah? Yeah, it has. Positive. I would say that this
one has been positive because, like I said before, I
lived in.

Speaker 4 (01:09:13):
The past a lot before.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Yeah, and it had detrimental effects. Yeah, they had detrimental effects,
and it is effected the way I move forward. But
you know we've done better. Yeah, we've done better. You know.
After that, you know, so people, you know, they can
make the change. They can make up their mind to say,

(01:09:34):
you know what, this is not how I'm going to
move forward. But you have to do that on your own,
though you have Sometimes no one has the answer for
you and your life.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Well that's where it's self reflection, you know that life.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
Yeah, it's different for everybody, you know. So there's not
a formula like for for everybody. Hey, I just want
the formula so I can do it. That's what we want.
We want some shit given to us. We don't want
the work. How I do it like it might be
a little bit different from how you do it, a
little bit different than how a friend to do it,
a sister, a brother.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
There's no formula to this shit. Sometimes, just knowing that
it needs.

Speaker 3 (01:10:09):
To be done, no right or wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Yes, no right or wrong. You just got to make
it better. That's what we have to do, and that
is possible. But we can't live in the past and
we can't live in the future. So we've got to
make it what it needs to be right now for today.
So here's my question for you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
If you could leave our listeners with one question to
ponder until we come back for our next episode, based
off of the information that we've given today, what do
you think would best benefit them?

Speaker 4 (01:10:37):
No, that's a good damn question.

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
You're welcome. That's why my name is miss Erica, I
miss Cordy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:43):
No, he was definitely according it because that was definitely
according to question. But it'll be this right here. No,
it was very.

Speaker 4 (01:10:53):
Simplistic because it's based off the episode.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
What do you think or how do you think your
family your family lineage has brought you to to this day?
Who based on who you think you are today? How
has your family lineage gotten you there? Are you what
your family lineage was? Or are you what you created
yourself to be? That's what I kind of leave with you,
and I would and I would like to know that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
One one last thing.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
If someone wants to be more, to experience more, do
you have any advice for them on how to maybe
step out a little bit further than their current environment?

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
Oh yeah, definitely. The first thing would be is just
for your self awareness.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
That yeah, yeah, that's a big and so what what
does it look like?

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
Self awareness? You know, knowing what the hell you're good
at sometimes just for one, knowing what you're good at,
knowing what you're not good at, and being okay with
those things. And if you're not good at it, you
can improve on it, but you don't have to focus
on it either, but you definitely double down on what
the hell you good at. Find out that, find out
on what you're good at and who you are, because
to me, that's part of the process right there, that's

(01:12:01):
finding out.

Speaker 4 (01:12:01):
Who the hell you are know your weaknesses, know your strengths.

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
You can come good at that, you know, make those
weaknesses a little bit better, but also double down on
those strengths into accountability.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
Oh you know that's my I love accountability.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
Yeah, yeah, that doesn't know require much explanation, because we
know to be accountable for one's actions, especially if we're
in the wrong. Yeah, if we're in the wrong and
we know we've done some things that could have damaged
or hurt someone, hold yourself accountable for it so you
can move forward. You cannot move forward properly if you

(01:12:36):
don't hold yourself accountable. It don't work. You know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
I love that you brought that fact that point up.

Speaker 1 (01:12:40):
But I also feel like in the midst of when
you said hurting someone, right in the midst of that,
if you hurt someone, you have to own that, be
accountable for it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:49):
And then you have to hold space to fix whatever
it was that you broke.

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
Yes, you have to do that because now that's your
obligation because.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
You did that. But one of our problems are that
we struggle with taking fault in our actions because we
don't like facing them. I've come across a lot of
look I've grown up where my elders, my older the
older people in my life literally never apologize or nothing
in their life.

Speaker 4 (01:13:13):
They say, well, if I had did, that's what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
Some of those people never took responsibility for the hurt
or the damage that they caused in their life. And
then the third thing would be with this right here,
it's to listen.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
To yourself others.

Speaker 2 (01:13:28):
No no, the ability to know how to listen. No
listening like safe instance, if somebody someone gives advice and
they know more than you, they know more than you,
they have the experience listen, know how to listen.

Speaker 3 (01:13:42):
Yeah, that's important.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
That is very important. So it's those three things right there.
Self awareness, accountability and know how to listen. Don't think
that your so goddamn intelligent where you know it all.
Let experience, people who are experienced in living life tell you.
Let other people's failure your be your your your guiding lights.
But this is what wisdom is very rarely talked about.

(01:14:06):
But wisdom is not having to repeat something after it's
already happened. I don't have to repeat the failure if
I've seen you go through it. Yeah, but today I
ain't gonna say yesterday, hell with that. This has been
happening forever. I've seen it too often. Everybody always says
this right here, whether it won't be me, and every
damn time, every damn time, it's you. It's you, It

(01:14:32):
is you. So be wise, okay, and be a good listener.
That's a skill in itself. Learn how to do that.
But those are the three things that I would I
would definitely give people for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:14:47):
I think that's great advice, that advice.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
And so but we got a few things we want
to run value and because we're supposed to do at
the beginning of the show, but it's that's okay, we'll
do it in the closing. But now what we have
we didn't get to share that we have four episodes
in at this point and what this is, every four

(01:15:11):
episodes will be a thing. And what we're going to
try to do is focus on doing a recap or
we get to get listeners together so we can have
an open discussion, and we're going to posts as well.

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
Also, real quick you left out. We are now on
all streaming platforms. You can find a Student of Life
on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcast. We're still on the website spreaker.
You can still find us on Facebook, so anywhere that
you can stream podcasts you can find us.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
Now, yes you can. And I'm glad you said that,
because I actually forgot about saying that. Excuse me, what
are you gonna say? I'm sorry, Go ahead, I was
going to say thanks for listening to everyone. This has
been the Students of Life podcast, Live and Learn. Life

(01:16:03):
is a Lesson.

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Episode 4 | Curses or Choices: The legacy of Generational Burdens

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 4 | Curses or Choices: The legacy of Generational Burdens