Underwater Week in Glimmerdeep: A Comedy of Currents

A dip in the ocean turns into a crazy adventure

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My underwater week in Glimmer Deep A comedy of currants.
You know, when my Aunt Peggy warned me about scuba
diving alone, she didn't say, don't get swept into a
secret underwater city. She said, you'll probably lose a flipper
or get nibbled on by a shark. Turns out, Aunt
Peggy underestimated my ability to turn a relaxing solo dive

(00:23):
into the weirdest week of my life. It started innocently enough.
I was exploring this reef off the coast of nowhere
when a particularly nosy eel spooked me into a crevice.
Next thing I know, I'm being sucked into a whirlpool
that spat me out like soggy toast. And there it
was Glimmer Deep. Picture Las Vegas, but make it underwater

(00:46):
and bioluminescent, with fewer slot machines and more glowing fish
giving you side eye. Day one. You're not from around here,
are you. I barely had time to gape at the
place before a jellyfish. Yes, a jellyfish floated over and
started quizzing me like I was trying to sneak into

(01:06):
a fancy club. You're very opaque. It said, thanks, I moisturize,
I offered. Turns out this jellyfish was a glint, a
local historian who apparently documents everything he she It was
already weaving glowing ribbons of my arrival into some kind
of underwater tapestry. Surface dwellers don't just wander into glimmer deep,

(01:31):
it said ominously. I thought i'd explain, but instead I blurted,
You've got great tentacles, very symmetrical, smooth, real smooth. Day two,
kelp traffic is the worst. The next morning, I tried
to blend in. Turns out blending in is hard when
you're the only creature not glowing like a ravestick. I

(01:54):
ended up on what I can only describe as a
kelp highway, except the kelp wasn't stationary. It's swayed with attitude.
You've got to move with the kelp, said a tide caller,
a humanoid fish person with translucent skin that shimmered like
oil on water. Easy for them to say. Every time
I tried to move with the kelp, I either tripped

(02:16):
or got tangled in seaweed. A crowd gathered some glophins,
giant glowing manta rays hovered nearby, chuckling. Yes, chuckling, I'm
pretty sure I heard one mutter rookie. Day three learning
the rules. By day three I figured I should learn
the local customs. For example, one, don't touch the glowing coral.

(02:39):
It's apparently like licking a battery. Two. Avoid the glitter shrimp.
They're pranksters who think it's hilarious to tickle your nose
and steal your goggles. Three. Never insult a gloafin. They
take things personally and will passive aggressively dim their light
whenever you're around. Despite my best efforts, I managed to
offend a glophin named Zalo by asking if their glow

(03:02):
was natural or enhanced. Zilo spent the rest of the
day floating just above me, blocking my view of everything cool.
Day four glowstorm drama. Of course, just when I started
feeling at home, disaster struck a glowstorm was coming and
the city was in full panic mode. Glowstorms are apparently

(03:24):
swarms of bioluminescent creatures that eat anything bright. Since glimmer
deep is basically the underwater equivalent of times square, you
can imagine the problem. The tide callers debated dimming the
entire city. But someone pointed out, what about the surface dweller.
She's like a giant glowing snack lovely. That's when I

(03:47):
had my genius, red, reckless idea. What if I distract them?
I said, I've got a flashlight and a strong survival instinct.
They looked at me like I just suggested making friends
with a shark. Day five the glow Storm stand off.
So there I was in my dinky dive suit, holding
my flashlight like a medieval night with a sword. The

(04:10):
plan was simple, lead the glow storm away from the city,
then dive into the lightless chasm, a pitch black abyss
where the glow hungry creatures would lose interest. What wasn't
simple was the actual execution. The glow storm was a writhing,
swirling mass of light, like a disco ball with teeth.

(04:31):
I flipped my flashlight on and swam like my life
depended on it, because spoiler, it did. Behind me, the
glofins sang this eerie wail like song to keep the
current steady, while Zelo grumbled, I still don't like her,
but she's got guts. Day six a Heroes send off
by some miracle, the plan worked, The glowstorm plunged into

(04:54):
the chasm. The city was saved, and I only cried
a little, okay, a lot. When I got back, the
Glints were already weaving my legend into their glowing tapestries.
She faced the glow storm with nothing but a flashlight
and poor judgment. One of them narrated accurate. As a

(05:14):
thank you, the tide callers gifted me a bioluminescent pearl
and promised to tell my story for generations. Selo even
grudgingly admitted, you're not the worst surface dweller. We've had
high praise. Epilogue Back on land, when I finally surfaced,
the coastguard found me babbling about glowing shrimp and kelp

(05:36):
highways dehydration. They said, poor thing's gone loopy, But I
know the truth. Somewhere deep below Glimmer Deep still glows,
and my ridiculous chaote