May 15, 2025 • 21 mins
In this empowering solo episode of Talk Wealthy to Me, host Michelle Taylor tackles one of the most emotionally and financially challenging life events: divorce. Whether you're navigating this season yourself or supporting someone who is, Michelle offers a compassionate yet strategic roadmap to reclaiming your financial power.
From building a trusted team of advisors to understanding your cash flow, investments, and future retirement needs, this episode breaks down what it takes to rebuild and thrive financially after a separation. Michelle also shares insights on how to protect your children’s stability, understand your entitlements, and approach your money story with confidence and clarity.
Divorce may feel like an ending, but it’s also a chance to rewrite your financial future—on your terms.
Topics covered:
The First 90 Days: A Financial Roadmap for Women Rebuilding After Divorce: A step-by-step guide to help you stabilize, organize, and start building real momentum.
✅ Practical checklists
✅ Confidence-boosting prompts
✅ Designed for women starting fresh
You can download it for free here: https://www.talkwealthy.com/vip
You don’t have to do this alone.
💬 Have questions or need support? DM Michelle directly for free tools and guidance.
Connect with Michelle: https://www.instagram.com/women_in_wealth
Ready to Redefine Wealth on Your Terms?
✨ It's Here: Join the Women in Wealth community, a robust network of ambitious women, access expert-led workshops, and gain resources to take control of your financial journey.
Join today: https://womeninwealth.co/
👉 Don’t forget to like, follow, and share with someone who needs this encouragement. Let’s change the way women think and feel about money—together.
From building a trusted team of advisors to understanding your cash flow, investments, and future retirement needs, this episode breaks down what it takes to rebuild and thrive financially after a separation. Michelle also shares insights on how to protect your children’s stability, understand your entitlements, and approach your money story with confidence and clarity.
Divorce may feel like an ending, but it’s also a chance to rewrite your financial future—on your terms.
Topics covered:
- How to choose the right financial advisor post-divorce
- Understanding retirement accounts, QDROs, and your entitlements
- Budgeting as a single-income household
- The “And” mentality: saving, investing, and paying down debt
- Insurance, benefits, and long-term financial planning
The First 90 Days: A Financial Roadmap for Women Rebuilding After Divorce: A step-by-step guide to help you stabilize, organize, and start building real momentum.
✅ Practical checklists
✅ Confidence-boosting prompts
✅ Designed for women starting fresh
You can download it for free here: https://www.talkwealthy.com/vip
You don’t have to do this alone.
💬 Have questions or need support? DM Michelle directly for free tools and guidance.
Connect with Michelle: https://www.instagram.com/women_in_wealth
Ready to Redefine Wealth on Your Terms?
✨ It's Here: Join the Women in Wealth community, a robust network of ambitious women, access expert-led workshops, and gain resources to take control of your financial journey.
Join today: https://womeninwealth.co/
👉 Don’t forget to like, follow, and share with someone who needs this encouragement. Let’s change the way women think and feel about money—together.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let's know them. Welcome talk We Welcome we Talk Wealthy
to Me. I'm Michelle Taylor, founder of Women and well
and Wealth. From breaking money myths to building wealth and
achieving financial freedom. We're here to empower you to create
your own patha talk wealth. Now join the conversation and
let's change the way women think and feel about money.
(00:21):
Are you ready? Hi, everybody, Welcome to the Talk Wealthy
to Me podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Taylor, and I
am so excited that you're here and also really encouraged
to go over this topic with you guys. Quite a
few people have mentioned that this is either something that
(00:44):
they're faced with or a woman and their family is
faced with, and that is navigating what financial freedom and
wellness and planning looks like after a divorce. Now, I
thankfully have never been through this myself, but I know
a lot of people who have, and I've had first
(01:06):
hand experiences with clients that are really discouraging when it
comes to this topic. I've had clients tell me that
they didn't know how to pay their electric bill because
their husband left them. And it wasn't a lack of finances,
but it was just genuinely not knowing how to navigate
(01:27):
that situation. So, as always, my hope in this is
that anybody going through it or knows somebody that is,
will be able to take something tangible and turn what
can be scary into something that they feel empowered and
encouraged around and change the impact that something heavy will
(01:48):
have on the rest of their life. So one of
the important things to know about all of this is, obviously,
this is a big deal. It's a big life changing event,
and I think it's so important to acknowledge that and
find the support that you need from the people that
you care about in your life. And my goal in
(02:10):
this is to really just focus on the financials, but
I think that it would be really important for anybody
listening that has this experience to really identify the areas
they need help and the professionals that they need to
seek out to make sure that you come to the
other side of this feeling like yourself or a better
version of yourself. I think that the grief, the sadness
(02:35):
of this is actually something you're having to deal with,
is something that's going to be a hard pill to swallow.
But again, taking the emotion out of this which is
going to be really tricky, but taking the emotion out
of planning financially after divorce is going to be really important.
So one of the things that I would suggest is
(02:58):
building out that same board of advisors that we've talked
about in other episodes, finding the people that you need
to count on to understand what's in your best interest,
what you are entitled to, and figuring out how to
navigate this path moving forward. So what does that mean. Obviously,
I would probably advise none of you to go through
(03:20):
this without an attorney. Certainly I am not an attorney.
This is just my opinion, but I feel like there
are a lot of pieces to this that you may
not even realize you're dealing with. So find an attorney
that's good, that makes you feel comfortable, makes you feel
seen heard, and that they're an advocate of yours. The
(03:43):
next piece is finding somebody to probably navigate the family
emotional journey of this if you've got kiddos, but also
really recognizing and understand that once you get over this
hump and once you figure this out, you're getting a
fresh start, you're going to be able to plan for
(04:05):
yourself financially. And although it's something that's really sad. There
is something that is I think exciting if you think
about a fresh start and focusing on the financial goals
and plan that you have for yourself and not having
to consider anybody else and what they want. So hopefully
(04:26):
putting a positive spin on that and really focusing on
a fresh start and building something for yourself with the
right relationships in place to ensure that the next chapter
is one of your best chapters? How do we do that?
First things First, if you've ever worked with a financial
advisor and had a relationship with one that your spouse
(04:49):
had brought into your situation, I would say to really
dive into that and see if that's a relationship that
you want to keep. Now, obviously this is my world.
I know little bit about this. I've had several clients
divorce and some of them don't care if both parties
work with me. Other people think, you know what, the
(05:12):
relationship with Michelle was yours, I'm going to find somebody
else and that's okay too. So I think what really
matters is the connection that you feel with that professional.
So if you feel like you want to keep that
person in your life, I would have very clear expectations
around confidentiality, which of course is part of our role
(05:36):
is fiduciaries, but also just making sure that you have
somebody that can advocate and plan in a totally different
way with you without it being in direct conflict with
the other ex spouse. If you feel a little bit
uncertain about that, I would say, first, if you like
the firm, you can find another advisor within that firm
(05:59):
usual and that's a really easy transition and probably less
clunky for you going through enough as it is. Or
if you really felt like this was never your relationship,
that you were present in the meetings but didn't say much,
now is your chance to really figure out what this
(06:20):
relationship will look like for you. If you want to
know the questions to ask, I am happy to send
you a copy of that, drop me a DM. But
ultimately you want to go into this with a clear
mind and figuring out what's most important. How do you
want to work with that professional and source that person
and interview a few of them. Don't feel like there's
(06:43):
any fire to put out. We all have the same
tools in our toolbox. Truly, it's about finding the relationship
that's going to work for you. And your future as
you navigate this next chapter. The second piece of that
is really understanding your money landscape. And again I'm going
to assume that half of you have maybe led the
(07:04):
charge with financials and the other half didn't. So if
the ladder is the case and you were really leading
the charge, more than likely you're going to have a
good handle on what your monthly budget and what your
monthly spending plan is going to look like. It's really
important to understand the money that's coming in and going
(07:24):
out and what your expenses are going to be moving forward. Obviously,
assuming there's child support or any alimony, any of those
payments are something to consider, but you really just want
to identify the non negotiables, the things that have to
get paid, and make sure as a single income household,
you have the most important things covered so that your
(07:47):
kids and yourself aren't having to navigate a change in
life but also now a change in circumstance where things
are feeling tighter and more insecure for you or your kids.
Understanding the difference between needs and wants is really important,
and then just having a plan for every dollar coming in.
(08:08):
Once you understand the money that you're working with I
encourage everybody to figure out how to live in an
and mentality. So more than likely there's been a lot
of financial fallout from this, right, So we want to
make sure that you are doing all of the same
things you are doing with a partner, but now as
(08:32):
an individual. So what does that mean. I want to
make sure that you guys are paying off any debt
that you have, and saving and making sure you have
enough liquid and investing. Make sure that you're not neglecting
any of those things. It's really important once you sit down,
you know what this household now looks like based on
(08:55):
just your income. We now have an opportunity to reverse
engineer what the future looks like and what we need
to do to get you there. It's going to be
really important that you sit down and have all of
the pieces of your puzzle in front of you and
understand were you counting on retirement coming from your spouse.
(09:16):
If that's the case, we need to focus on how
do we fill that retirement bucket. Maybe you need to
start your own IRA on the side, or start contributing
to a four toh one K if you have the opportunity.
But we want to make sure that we've got those
long term dollars planned for midterm dollars. Is really just
understanding those goals, vacations for your family, education expenses, things
(09:42):
that you can anticipate but are still six months to
two years down the road. Maybe there's a project at
the house that are renovation, and we need to put
that money aside and make sure that you're planning for
that effectively, so that you're not going into debt to
do something that you've already committed to doing. And then
obviously we want to make sure short term that may
(10:04):
look a lot different now as well, if during the
divorce the assets split there's more or less debt. We
want to just make sure that what you have is
covered by an emergency account. You don't want to have
too much in cash, and that's an exercise that unfortunately
I can't personalize in this episode for you, but I
(10:27):
would always challenge you if you work in a W
two setting, you want to have three months at least
if of your expenses, and that isn't food and fun,
That is truly keeping your lights on and making sure
that you are paying your obligations. If you're a self
(10:48):
employed individual or somebody that works in a highly commissioned role,
you probably want to have closer to six months just
to make sure that there's the ebbs and flows of
what that can feel like impact you, especially if you
had another income to fall back on, and ultimately understanding
where those dollars are going. So of those monies, we
(11:10):
want to make sure that we're doing remember the and mentality,
So make sure that you are putting money into a
retirement account for long term dollars or planning for what
it looks like if you are selling a business ten
years down the road. Want to make sure that you're
paying down your debt, and we want to make sure
you're investing now. For anybody that is not familiar with
(11:32):
how to invest, that's where we need to really break
this down and understand what the priority is. If the
priority is to just put money to work for you
so that you have it working for you while you sleep,
the easiest way to do that is to work with
that trusted advisor that you either have identified or already
(11:53):
have a relationship with, or just start something on your own.
You can go to any of the big broker dealers
like a Charles Schwab, Edward Jones, anything like that really
robinhood even and just start an account and start investing,
even if it's twenty five dollars, one hundred dollars, whatever
it is that you can afford to make sure that
(12:14):
the retirement you once thought was covered with two incomes.
Now we're identifying how do we get there with only
one income. The good news is you only have to
pay for yourself in this retirement and don't have to
worry about providing for two, so it should be relatively
easy to make the adjustment. But again, you don't want
to forget that any of these pieces are on the
(12:35):
table and need to be addressed. Speaking of investing, it's
really important and this is why you, guys, I brought
up the point about having the trusted relationship that you
can fight for your best interest at the table. So
a lot of people will think that they're negotiating something
that's going to be really good for them and their
family and keeping attorneys out of the picture. But there's
(12:57):
a lot of things to consider. For example, if you
are a stay at home spouse and you have been
focusing on the family while the other spouse is out
earning the income and contributing to a retirement account. You've
missed a lot of time to contribute to your own
(13:18):
retirement because you thought you had a partner doing that
for you. So there's something called a quadro and that
is basically where anything that a spouse is put into
a retirement account while you all were married, you're entitled
to half of that. Now, when you typically take money
out of a retirement account prematurely or before your retirement age,
(13:39):
there's a penalty. What's really lovely about this is in
a divorce, if it's navigated with professionals, you are able
to take half of that account and you will not
pay a penalty for moving it over to you and
being able to utilize that money for your own own
(14:00):
retirement planning. So that's really important. We want to make
sure that you have all of the access to the
accounts that you need to plan for your future and
aren't missing anything. I will hopefully put your mind at
ease if this is a situation where the it's not
(14:22):
warm and fuzzy. There are very few ways that somebody
can really hide money and not give you what you're
entitled for. But that requires having the relationship there that's
going to walk you through this and make sure that
you're asking the right questions. I once had a client
that her husband just said, oh, I cleared everything out
of my retirement account because I'm doing this other thing. Well,
(14:45):
then she's surprised that she's getting divorced. And thankfully, because
of forensic accounting, we were able not we I didn't
do that, but she was able with those relationships to
under stand this is where the money went, and she
was still entitled to half of it. And hopefully that's
not going to be a situation that any of you
(15:07):
find yourselves in. But I just cannot emphasize enough it's
really important to not leave what you are rightfully entitled
to on the table, because you've got to be your
number one advocate. So understand the retirement accounts, the assets
(15:27):
that you have, the debt you have. Don't leave any
of that up to chance. We want to make sure
that all of your bases are covered and in that
your risk tolerance, the time horizon, all of the pieces
that will kind of navigate what the rest of your
life look like. May have changed. Maybe you were married
(15:47):
to somebody that didn't like risk at all, or maybe
on the other side they were much more aggressive than you.
Felt comfortable being all of these things you're going to
have to navigate in order to understand how to move forward.
If you want to be more conservative, make sure that
the advisor that you're using or the advisor that you
(16:09):
were using with your spouse understands that there's been a shift,
and really make sure that you're putting your money into
investments that are in alignment with what your risk tolerance
is and time horizon. Depending on your age, it will
impact when you can access these things. Retirement ages fifty
nine and a half, so you want to make sure
(16:31):
that when you're putting money away, and if retirement accounts
are something new for you that you're cognizant of that
you can't touch these accounts without a penalty before that age.
So make sure that we've got those midterm and short
term buckets addressed before you put money into a retirement account. Also,
as far as timeline goes, if you've got big projects
(16:54):
that are going on, or just you feel a little
bit more comfortable having access to that money, we want
to make sure that you're putting the dollars into just
your typical individual account or a brokerage account. This is
going to give you access to money, growing and not
being out of the market, putting your money to work
(17:14):
for you, but without those same restrictions. The other thing
you want to look at is benefits. If your spouse
was providing health benefits, there's some navigating there, but also insurances.
A lot of times when there's a divorce, and if
there's life insurance and there's children involved or alimony, those
(17:35):
are things that you want to address. You want to
make sure that God forbid, if something were happening to
a spouse and they are paying you alimony and child support,
that there's a death benefit there that would still get
you to the point that you need to be at
and taking care of your kids, that the child support
and all of that is protected and addressed with the
(17:56):
life insurance, and most divorce attorneys will navigate through all
of these pieces with you, but again, make sure that
you're understanding what you're entitled to and not leaving anything
up to chance. As we wrap this up, guys, one
of the most important things and reasons that I'm doing
this not only women in wealth, but talk wealthy to
(18:18):
me is because I want you, guys, to be empowered
around money. I want you to understand the decisions that
you have to make that you're entitled to make, and
I want you to feel like you're in charge of
your money story. Going through this is going to be
a huge emotional toll, but the reality is one out
of every two marriages is going to end in divorce.
(18:41):
So I want to make sure that you all take
away from this that one you're allowed to be upset
and grieve this transition in your life. But then I
want you as quickly as you can to pivot and
really focus on writing your own money story. Try not
to bring the baggage that comes with a failed marriage
and maybe differing approaches and beliefs around money with you.
(19:05):
Look at this as a fresh start, a way to
make sure that you are doing everything that you can
to set yourself up for success and a retirement that
feels really good to you, or a next chapter that
feels good to you, building something out with your goals
in mind, with your risk tolerance in mind, and making
(19:26):
as few waves as possible within your home so that
if there are kiddos, they don't feel a change in lifestyle.
And I know all of this is easier said than done,
but that's where I'm here to be a resource in
any way that I can. If there's anything that you
need to make this transition easier, please send me a
message or a DM and the team will get you
(19:51):
anything that you need. Ask the right questions of any
advisor or other professional that you're bringing to the table,
and make sure that you know what you are allowed
to fight for. Make sure that you are living in
an and universe, that you are reevaluating how much cash
you need to have on hand and making sure that
(20:13):
you do, and that you're investing, even if it's a
small amount, and that you're paying down any debt that
you have, whether it's yours or part of the marriage,
but ultimately doing all three of those things to move
forward and put the best version of yourself in your
(20:33):
future in your windshield instead of your rear view mirror.
As always, please continue to like, share, subscribe, and if
there's anybody going through this that you think would benefit
from hearing the episode, please share. And again, let's change
the way women think and feel about money together,
Let's know them. Welcome talk We Welcome we Talk Wealthy
to Me. I'm Michelle Taylor, founder of Women and well
and Wealth. From breaking money myths to building wealth and
achieving financial freedom. We're here to empower you to create
your own patha talk wealth. Now join the conversation and
let's change the way women think and feel about money.
(00:21):
Are you ready? Hi, everybody, Welcome to the Talk Wealthy
to Me podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Taylor, and I
am so excited that you're here and also really encouraged
to go over this topic with you guys. Quite a
few people have mentioned that this is either something that
(00:44):
they're faced with or a woman and their family is
faced with, and that is navigating what financial freedom and
wellness and planning looks like after a divorce. Now, I
thankfully have never been through this myself, but I know
a lot of people who have, and I've had first
(01:06):
hand experiences with clients that are really discouraging when it
comes to this topic. I've had clients tell me that
they didn't know how to pay their electric bill because
their husband left them. And it wasn't a lack of finances,
but it was just genuinely not knowing how to navigate
(01:27):
that situation. So, as always, my hope in this is
that anybody going through it or knows somebody that is,
will be able to take something tangible and turn what
can be scary into something that they feel empowered and
encouraged around and change the impact that something heavy will
(01:48):
have on the rest of their life. So one of
the important things to know about all of this is, obviously,
this is a big deal. It's a big life changing event,
and I think it's so important to acknowledge that and
find the support that you need from the people that
you care about in your life. And my goal in
(02:10):
this is to really just focus on the financials, but
I think that it would be really important for anybody
listening that has this experience to really identify the areas
they need help and the professionals that they need to
seek out to make sure that you come to the
other side of this feeling like yourself or a better
version of yourself. I think that the grief, the sadness
(02:35):
of this is actually something you're having to deal with,
is something that's going to be a hard pill to swallow.
But again, taking the emotion out of this which is
going to be really tricky, but taking the emotion out
of planning financially after divorce is going to be really important.
So one of the things that I would suggest is
(02:58):
building out that same board of advisors that we've talked
about in other episodes, finding the people that you need
to count on to understand what's in your best interest,
what you are entitled to, and figuring out how to
navigate this path moving forward. So what does that mean. Obviously,
I would probably advise none of you to go through
(03:20):
this without an attorney. Certainly I am not an attorney.
This is just my opinion, but I feel like there
are a lot of pieces to this that you may
not even realize you're dealing with. So find an attorney
that's good, that makes you feel comfortable, makes you feel
seen heard, and that they're an advocate of yours. The
(03:43):
next piece is finding somebody to probably navigate the family
emotional journey of this if you've got kiddos, but also
really recognizing and understand that once you get over this
hump and once you figure this out, you're getting a
fresh start, you're going to be able to plan for
(04:05):
yourself financially. And although it's something that's really sad. There
is something that is I think exciting if you think
about a fresh start and focusing on the financial goals
and plan that you have for yourself and not having
to consider anybody else and what they want. So hopefully
(04:26):
putting a positive spin on that and really focusing on
a fresh start and building something for yourself with the
right relationships in place to ensure that the next chapter
is one of your best chapters? How do we do that?
First things First, if you've ever worked with a financial
advisor and had a relationship with one that your spouse
(04:49):
had brought into your situation, I would say to really
dive into that and see if that's a relationship that
you want to keep. Now, obviously this is my world.
I know little bit about this. I've had several clients
divorce and some of them don't care if both parties
work with me. Other people think, you know what, the
(05:12):
relationship with Michelle was yours, I'm going to find somebody
else and that's okay too. So I think what really
matters is the connection that you feel with that professional.
So if you feel like you want to keep that
person in your life, I would have very clear expectations
around confidentiality, which of course is part of our role
(05:36):
is fiduciaries, but also just making sure that you have
somebody that can advocate and plan in a totally different
way with you without it being in direct conflict with
the other ex spouse. If you feel a little bit
uncertain about that, I would say, first, if you like
the firm, you can find another advisor within that firm
(05:59):
usual and that's a really easy transition and probably less
clunky for you going through enough as it is. Or
if you really felt like this was never your relationship,
that you were present in the meetings but didn't say much,
now is your chance to really figure out what this
(06:20):
relationship will look like for you. If you want to
know the questions to ask, I am happy to send
you a copy of that, drop me a DM. But
ultimately you want to go into this with a clear
mind and figuring out what's most important. How do you
want to work with that professional and source that person
and interview a few of them. Don't feel like there's
(06:43):
any fire to put out. We all have the same
tools in our toolbox. Truly, it's about finding the relationship
that's going to work for you. And your future as
you navigate this next chapter. The second piece of that
is really understanding your money landscape. And again I'm going
to assume that half of you have maybe led the
(07:04):
charge with financials and the other half didn't. So if
the ladder is the case and you were really leading
the charge, more than likely you're going to have a
good handle on what your monthly budget and what your
monthly spending plan is going to look like. It's really
important to understand the money that's coming in and going
(07:24):
out and what your expenses are going to be moving forward. Obviously,
assuming there's child support or any alimony, any of those
payments are something to consider, but you really just want
to identify the non negotiables, the things that have to
get paid, and make sure as a single income household,
you have the most important things covered so that your
(07:47):
kids and yourself aren't having to navigate a change in
life but also now a change in circumstance where things
are feeling tighter and more insecure for you or your kids.
Understanding the difference between needs and wants is really important,
and then just having a plan for every dollar coming in.
(08:08):
Once you understand the money that you're working with I
encourage everybody to figure out how to live in an
and mentality. So more than likely there's been a lot
of financial fallout from this, right, So we want to
make sure that you are doing all of the same
things you are doing with a partner, but now as
(08:32):
an individual. So what does that mean. I want to
make sure that you guys are paying off any debt
that you have, and saving and making sure you have
enough liquid and investing. Make sure that you're not neglecting
any of those things. It's really important once you sit down,
you know what this household now looks like based on
(08:55):
just your income. We now have an opportunity to reverse
engineer what the future looks like and what we need
to do to get you there. It's going to be
really important that you sit down and have all of
the pieces of your puzzle in front of you and
understand were you counting on retirement coming from your spouse.
(09:16):
If that's the case, we need to focus on how
do we fill that retirement bucket. Maybe you need to
start your own IRA on the side, or start contributing
to a four toh one K if you have the opportunity.
But we want to make sure that we've got those
long term dollars planned for midterm dollars. Is really just
understanding those goals, vacations for your family, education expenses, things
(09:42):
that you can anticipate but are still six months to
two years down the road. Maybe there's a project at
the house that are renovation, and we need to put
that money aside and make sure that you're planning for
that effectively, so that you're not going into debt to
do something that you've already committed to doing. And then
obviously we want to make sure short term that may
(10:04):
look a lot different now as well, if during the
divorce the assets split there's more or less debt. We
want to just make sure that what you have is
covered by an emergency account. You don't want to have
too much in cash, and that's an exercise that unfortunately
I can't personalize in this episode for you, but I
(10:27):
would always challenge you if you work in a W
two setting, you want to have three months at least
if of your expenses, and that isn't food and fun,
That is truly keeping your lights on and making sure
that you are paying your obligations. If you're a self
(10:48):
employed individual or somebody that works in a highly commissioned role,
you probably want to have closer to six months just
to make sure that there's the ebbs and flows of
what that can feel like impact you, especially if you
had another income to fall back on, and ultimately understanding
where those dollars are going. So of those monies, we
(11:10):
want to make sure that we're doing remember the and mentality,
So make sure that you are putting money into a
retirement account for long term dollars or planning for what
it looks like if you are selling a business ten
years down the road. Want to make sure that you're
paying down your debt, and we want to make sure
you're investing now. For anybody that is not familiar with
(11:32):
how to invest, that's where we need to really break
this down and understand what the priority is. If the
priority is to just put money to work for you
so that you have it working for you while you sleep,
the easiest way to do that is to work with
that trusted advisor that you either have identified or already
(11:53):
have a relationship with, or just start something on your own.
You can go to any of the big broker dealers
like a Charles Schwab, Edward Jones, anything like that really
robinhood even and just start an account and start investing,
even if it's twenty five dollars, one hundred dollars, whatever
it is that you can afford to make sure that
(12:14):
the retirement you once thought was covered with two incomes.
Now we're identifying how do we get there with only
one income. The good news is you only have to
pay for yourself in this retirement and don't have to
worry about providing for two, so it should be relatively
easy to make the adjustment. But again, you don't want
to forget that any of these pieces are on the
(12:35):
table and need to be addressed. Speaking of investing, it's
really important and this is why you, guys, I brought
up the point about having the trusted relationship that you
can fight for your best interest at the table. So
a lot of people will think that they're negotiating something
that's going to be really good for them and their
family and keeping attorneys out of the picture. But there's
(12:57):
a lot of things to consider. For example, if you
are a stay at home spouse and you have been
focusing on the family while the other spouse is out
earning the income and contributing to a retirement account. You've
missed a lot of time to contribute to your own
(13:18):
retirement because you thought you had a partner doing that
for you. So there's something called a quadro and that
is basically where anything that a spouse is put into
a retirement account while you all were married, you're entitled
to half of that. Now, when you typically take money
out of a retirement account prematurely or before your retirement age,
(13:39):
there's a penalty. What's really lovely about this is in
a divorce, if it's navigated with professionals, you are able
to take half of that account and you will not
pay a penalty for moving it over to you and
being able to utilize that money for your own own
(14:00):
retirement planning. So that's really important. We want to make
sure that you have all of the access to the
accounts that you need to plan for your future and
aren't missing anything. I will hopefully put your mind at
ease if this is a situation where the it's not
(14:22):
warm and fuzzy. There are very few ways that somebody
can really hide money and not give you what you're
entitled for. But that requires having the relationship there that's
going to walk you through this and make sure that
you're asking the right questions. I once had a client
that her husband just said, oh, I cleared everything out
of my retirement account because I'm doing this other thing. Well,
(14:45):
then she's surprised that she's getting divorced. And thankfully, because
of forensic accounting, we were able not we I didn't
do that, but she was able with those relationships to
under stand this is where the money went, and she
was still entitled to half of it. And hopefully that's
not going to be a situation that any of you
(15:07):
find yourselves in. But I just cannot emphasize enough it's
really important to not leave what you are rightfully entitled
to on the table, because you've got to be your
number one advocate. So understand the retirement accounts, the assets
(15:27):
that you have, the debt you have. Don't leave any
of that up to chance. We want to make sure
that all of your bases are covered and in that
your risk tolerance, the time horizon, all of the pieces
that will kind of navigate what the rest of your
life look like. May have changed. Maybe you were married
(15:47):
to somebody that didn't like risk at all, or maybe
on the other side they were much more aggressive than you.
Felt comfortable being all of these things you're going to
have to navigate in order to understand how to move forward.
If you want to be more conservative, make sure that
the advisor that you're using or the advisor that you
(16:09):
were using with your spouse understands that there's been a shift,
and really make sure that you're putting your money into
investments that are in alignment with what your risk tolerance
is and time horizon. Depending on your age, it will
impact when you can access these things. Retirement ages fifty
nine and a half, so you want to make sure
(16:31):
that when you're putting money away, and if retirement accounts
are something new for you that you're cognizant of that
you can't touch these accounts without a penalty before that age.
So make sure that we've got those midterm and short
term buckets addressed before you put money into a retirement account. Also,
as far as timeline goes, if you've got big projects
(16:54):
that are going on, or just you feel a little
bit more comfortable having access to that money, we want
to make sure that you're putting the dollars into just
your typical individual account or a brokerage account. This is
going to give you access to money, growing and not
being out of the market, putting your money to work
(17:14):
for you, but without those same restrictions. The other thing
you want to look at is benefits. If your spouse
was providing health benefits, there's some navigating there, but also insurances.
A lot of times when there's a divorce, and if
there's life insurance and there's children involved or alimony, those
(17:35):
are things that you want to address. You want to
make sure that God forbid, if something were happening to
a spouse and they are paying you alimony and child support,
that there's a death benefit there that would still get
you to the point that you need to be at
and taking care of your kids, that the child support
and all of that is protected and addressed with the
(17:56):
life insurance, and most divorce attorneys will navigate through all
of these pieces with you, but again, make sure that
you're understanding what you're entitled to and not leaving anything
up to chance. As we wrap this up, guys, one
of the most important things and reasons that I'm doing
this not only women in wealth, but talk wealthy to
(18:18):
me is because I want you, guys, to be empowered
around money. I want you to understand the decisions that
you have to make that you're entitled to make, and
I want you to feel like you're in charge of
your money story. Going through this is going to be
a huge emotional toll, but the reality is one out
of every two marriages is going to end in divorce.
(18:41):
So I want to make sure that you all take
away from this that one you're allowed to be upset
and grieve this transition in your life. But then I
want you as quickly as you can to pivot and
really focus on writing your own money story. Try not
to bring the baggage that comes with a failed marriage
and maybe differing approaches and beliefs around money with you.
(19:05):
Look at this as a fresh start, a way to
make sure that you are doing everything that you can
to set yourself up for success and a retirement that
feels really good to you, or a next chapter that
feels good to you, building something out with your goals
in mind, with your risk tolerance in mind, and making
(19:26):
as few waves as possible within your home so that
if there are kiddos, they don't feel a change in lifestyle.
And I know all of this is easier said than done,
but that's where I'm here to be a resource in
any way that I can. If there's anything that you
need to make this transition easier, please send me a
message or a DM and the team will get you
(19:51):
anything that you need. Ask the right questions of any
advisor or other professional that you're bringing to the table,
and make sure that you know what you are allowed
to fight for. Make sure that you are living in
an and universe, that you are reevaluating how much cash
you need to have on hand and making sure that
(20:13):
you do, and that you're investing, even if it's a
small amount, and that you're paying down any debt that
you have, whether it's yours or part of the marriage,
but ultimately doing all three of those things to move
forward and put the best version of yourself in your
(20:33):
future in your windshield instead of your rear view mirror.
As always, please continue to like, share, subscribe, and if
there's anybody going through this that you think would benefit
from hearing the episode, please share. And again, let's change
the way women think and feel about money together,
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