May 29, 2025 • 32 mins
In this powerful solo episode, host Michelle Taylor tackles one of the most overlooked financial challenges women face: the invisible cost of caregiving. Whether you're raising young children, supporting aging parents, or navigating unexpected health events, this episode sheds light on the emotional and financial toll caregiving takes and what you can do to prepare and protect your future.
Michelle shares personal stories, staggering statistics, and practical strategies to help you navigate caregiving without sacrificing your long-term financial goals. From retirement contributions and insurance planning to caregiving budgets and burnout, she covers it all. You’ll also learn how to advocate for shared responsibilities, create financial safety nets, and start the hard conversations early.
If you're part of the “sandwich generation,” considering staying home with your kids, or already deep in the caregiver journey, this episode is for you. Because wealth isn’t just about money, it’s about freedom, peace of mind, and options, even in the seasons of sacrifice.
Key Takeaways:
Ready to Redefine Wealth on Your Terms?
✨ It's Here: Join the Women in Wealth community, a robust network of ambitious women, access expert-led workshops, and gain resources to take control of your financial journey.
Join today: https://womeninwealth.co/
Michelle shares personal stories, staggering statistics, and practical strategies to help you navigate caregiving without sacrificing your long-term financial goals. From retirement contributions and insurance planning to caregiving budgets and burnout, she covers it all. You’ll also learn how to advocate for shared responsibilities, create financial safety nets, and start the hard conversations early.
If you're part of the “sandwich generation,” considering staying home with your kids, or already deep in the caregiver journey, this episode is for you. Because wealth isn’t just about money, it’s about freedom, peace of mind, and options, even in the seasons of sacrifice.
Key Takeaways:
- The true financial toll of caregiving
- Planning tools to safeguard your future
- Why women must start the money conversation early
- Insurance types you shouldn't ignore
- How to reclaim your value and avoid invisible labor burnout
Ready to Redefine Wealth on Your Terms?
✨ It's Here: Join the Women in Wealth community, a robust network of ambitious women, access expert-led workshops, and gain resources to take control of your financial journey.
Join today: https://womeninwealth.co/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let's welcome talk Welcome we Talk Wealthy to Me. I'm
Michelle Taylor, founder of Women and Well and Wealth. From
breaking money myths to building wealth and achieving financial freedom.
We're here to empower you to create your own path
path Talk Wealth. Now, join the conversation and let's change
the way women think and feel about money. Are you ready? Hi, friends,
(00:28):
welcome back to Talk Wealthy to Me. I am your host,
Michelle Taylor, and today we are talking about something that
I think so many people can either relate to or
know somebody who has been through this, and that is
the invisible crisis that so many women face around being
a caregiver. Oftentimes we hear this referred to as the
(00:49):
Sandwich generation, where women are taking care of both young
kids and aging parents, and it has a massive impact
on your own overall financial wellness. There is a Columbia
University study that says that women lose half of their
income once they decide to stay at home or become
(01:10):
a caregiver. That's staggering, that's really hard to overcome, and
statistically it is more likely to impact women. So just
a couple of things to consider. One, we never know
when taking care of someone is going to be asked
or required of us. Obviously, having kids, that's a decision,
(01:32):
but oftentimes people have not planned or thought about who
will take care of them if something goes wrong, especially
our parents. So seventy five percent of all caregivers lose
an average of three hundred and twenty four thousand dollars
in lifetime earnings. That's insane. And not only are they
(01:54):
losing that income potential, but when they go back into
the workforce oftentimes five steps behind with technology or have
lost the credibility of being an industry leader that they
may have been able to claim before they left. This
is critical. I know in my life, my grandmother was
(02:17):
tasked with taking care of my grandfather when he was
diagnosed with MS, and she had a special needs daughter,
my aunt, the middle child, is blind and mentally handicapped,
and they had to quickly pivot and plan around how
to make life work with these new and I hate
(02:41):
to say burdens, but new financial burden of education for
my aunt who needed a little bit more, and medical expenses.
So today, what I would love to do is spend
some time diving in and figuring out how to plan
for this, how to to try and at least chip
(03:02):
away at some of the financial implications of it, because
at the end of the day, you can't build wealth
in a system that doesn't account for your invisible labor costs.
But you can plan ahead, you can protect your future
and still show up for the people that you love,
and that is the most important thing, because this is
(03:23):
a crisis that no one is really talking about. It's
one that creeps in quietly through love, obligation, and responsibility,
things that women are often faced with and have no
solution to. Hopefully we can change a little bit of
that today. So what does caregiving include? That can be children, aging, parents,
(03:45):
six spouses, special needs family members, anybody that requires your
time and potentially financial contributions to be shifted. And obviously
there's so much in life that we can't play for
and for a lot of these instances, we are faced
with these things totally unexpectedly and need to be prepared
(04:08):
for the unexpected at all times. The financial toll that
shows up with these instances is significant. Lost income from
reduced work hours is obviously one aspect, but totally stepping
out of the workforces another. Now I know a lot
of you listening may know somebody that has chosen to
(04:30):
be a stay at home mom, and I think that
that's amazing. It's not because they are forced to, but
because so many of the women that we know and
respect and love that are choosing that path for their
family are doing just that. They are choosing to be
at home and that is getting even more and more
(04:51):
popular as time goes on, which I think is an
amazing thing to try and do. However, there are things
that you can do to prepare for that. If you
are thinking about potentially having a family, or if you
are in the workforce and realizing that you don't want
(05:12):
to drop off your kiddo at daycare, not only are
you missing time in the workforce so lost income that
you can never recoup, but also, ladies, we're missing out
and contributing to retirement accounts. And that's something that oftentimes
people aren't thinking about. When they're considering can our family
run on its own with one income, They're often not
(05:37):
considering that an employer is matching their contributions to a
retirement account, and certainly that's nothing that we can make
up for. So there are a lot of things to
think through. Also, the out of cost spending that comes
with staying at home, either to take care of kids
or a loved one, and that can show up ways
(06:00):
of transportation, medication, supplies, traveling, different insurances that need to
be considered. So there's a lot and starting to have
the conversations and normalizing conversations around money and unexpected not
fun aspects of planning is even lower on the totem
(06:24):
pole than sitting down with someone that you care about
and talking about like what you're spending every month, and
that is where we need to do better. Right, So
there's a huge emotional toll that cloud's decision making, whether
it's guilt, obligation, lack of boundaries. A lot of us
(06:44):
are asked to take care of someone that took care
of us, and it's really hard to say no to
an aging or sick parent or spouse that needs the
extra attention or care. And there there is no right
or wrong answer here. It truly comes down to who
(07:04):
should be staying home with this loved one and what
can we do to make sure that you're planning for
time outside of the workforce. And I think that it
needs to be said also that we've kind of normalized
caregiving as being a female duty, but the financial consequence
(07:30):
isn't gender neutral. It lands squarely on women's futures. I
can't tell you how many times I've encountered a woman
that was married and chose to stay home raise her
kids and then gets divorced. There's a lot of cost
that is hard to actually calculate when she's the one
(07:54):
that stayed home for so many years while the partner
or husband was out earning money for the family, but
also contributing to a retirement that now is only his.
So we don't want to look at this as a
woman's job. It truly should be a conversation in all
(08:18):
situations where there are multiple people sitting down and determining
what is best. Maybe you're in a situation where a
sibling or another spouse is in a better suited role
to step back and work from home and help take
some of these responsibilities on, But the money conversation needs
(08:39):
to happen when you're determining who is going to be
stepping into this caregiving role. Don't automatically assume because you're
the daughter or the mom, that it should fall on you.
Let's really try and not let emotion cloud the decision
making process when it comes to the implications of what
(09:01):
this will look like. So where do we start? It
all starts with awareness, conversation, and planning. Even if it's
an informal arrangement that you're in where you're just driving
a little bit out of your way to go help
somebody or a neighbor, or you're working a half day
maybe as a parent, you want to think through, even
(09:24):
in those instances, the financial adjustments that need to be
made to account for the time that you are taking
away from income generating activities. You want to make sure
that you're building that care plan, have the conversation add
the cost of caregiving to your budget, and even if
(09:45):
it's as low as just tolls and gas, you want
to think through what you can do to get in
front of those things. You also want to set up
a care giving emergency fund so oftentime with anybody that
is requiring the assistance of someone else, there are going
to be unexpected things that happen that you need to
(10:07):
be prepared for. I would say that one of the
easiest ways to consider this is for if you're staying
home with your kids, and let's say that over time
you realize that there are some extra resources that are needed,
or even if it's just having somebody come in to
help because you have other children that are in activities
(10:29):
and then need to plan for going out to participate
in those activities, and you have a little or one
at home, think through what that will look like. Worst
case scenario, you are over prepared and have a little
bit extra money every single month to do something with.
But that is not a bad thing, ladies. We want
(10:50):
to make sure we're thinking through all of the things
that can happen and planning for them in advance. The
next piece is something that is not a time of fun, boring,
and nobody likes to talk about insurances, but we need
to in this case. So I'm not talking about life
insurance because quite frankly, that worst case scenario is that
(11:13):
person is no longer here. But what we do need
to spend some time thinking about is encouraging the people
in your life that may need you, the parents, the
aunts and uncles, grandparents, spouses. Make sure that when you're
making those elections with your employer or you are faced
(11:35):
with the option of doing it on your own, you're
looking at things like short and long term disability. Now,
I know this is a cost that is an additional
line item in your financial plan, but the reward of
it will be exponential if it's ever needed. So I
(11:56):
would say that during those real income produce years where
you are at the height of your career, we want
to protect that. So looking into both short and long
term disability is really important. Obviously, a lot of you
ladies out there are probably familiar with short term disability
because of being pregnant, and that is a helpful thing
(12:18):
to have. But just like in the title, short term
is really only going to cover you for a couple
of months, and we need to be prepared for something
a little bit bigger. Long term disability can cover anything
from terrible migraines that keep you at home for several
hours and things that will impact your ability to work.
(12:40):
You want to think through those and I know that
it's adding an additional cost, but I can assure you
it'll be the best dollar you ever spent if something
happens that's not in your control. I've had clients that
have gone on disability claim for vertigo. I mean, it
doesn't have to be something tragic, and I think that
that's what we need to remember would be suffering from that.
(13:01):
For example, a spouse would need assistance, and it would
impact potentially your ability to work a full time role
outside of the home. So think through those things. Make
sure that you've got the coverage that you need, that
at least you've got a financial cushion if something unexpected
happens with that. And this is something that for all
(13:23):
of you that have parents out there, and quite frankly,
when you're sitting down to do your own planning, long
term care is a hot topic for me and for
so many going back to my grandmother. You know, my
grandfather had just sold his business and got this MS
diagnosis after retirement, and think goodness that both of them
(13:48):
had planned really well for their retirement years because my
grandfather did have long term care insurance. Now, this is
nothing that would help with my aunt, who was handicapped
getting help financially, but it did allow for my grandmother
to have in home care without having to take it
out of their retirement fund. And this is what I
(14:11):
always tell people to think about. It's not just the
cost of care, but think about if somebody in this example,
my grandfather had a mess, he was home for a
decade before he passed away. And if my grandmother had
been required to spend down all of the money that
they had built their entire life saving when he passed
(14:31):
away she was still retired, how was she going to
pay for the rest of her life? And she lived
for another god I think twenty five years after my
grandfather passed. So long term care again is not anything fun,
but it is the insurance that covers you in case
you need in home care or if you need to
(14:52):
go into a facility. For any of you listening that
have aging parents, the more you age, the more expensive gets.
So I would encourage you to ask the people that
may rely on you one day if they've ever considered it.
Obviously it's a cost, and with people that are no
longer working, those costs are even more costly, right, so
(15:16):
think through what it would look like. Encourage them to
look into it, because again, it may offset some of
the responsibility financially from a child, a spouse, and it
would allow you to continue to work because you could
have in home care come in. So just to recap,
(15:36):
the biggest things on the insurance side you want to
look at are short term, long term and long term care.
And one more thing about long term care. As people
are living longer and medicine and care are getting more advanced,
long term care is not as prevalent as it used
(15:56):
to be. In you know, the last twenty there used
to be I think thirty carriers that would provide it.
Now it's down to like three or four. It's wild
and that's just because it's no longer profitable. So it's
something that you should pay attention to. Me as a
in the height of you know, what I would consider
(16:18):
my earning life. My husband and I are you know,
not spring chickens, but have a long way to go
before we retire. We want to protect those years. We
already have long term care, and every time that premium
is pulled, it stinks because it's extra money that hopefully,
knock on wood we'll never have to use. But because
(16:40):
we locked it in at such a young age, now
it is locked in forever until we cancel it, and
much less expensive. So pay attention to those three insurances
above all of the other ones that you've probably been
inundated with, you know, accidental death and dismemberment, all of
those things, the most important are the things that are
(17:01):
going to help you while you're still here, not only you,
but your children so that the burden doesn't fall on them,
and then also for your parents, so that you are
protected from both sides of the sandwich, if you will.
The other thing is, we want to talk about this early.
Talk about it with your siblings. I know in my case,
(17:22):
my cousins and I have talked about God forbid, when
something happens to my mom, who is now the primary
you know, responsible party for my aunt, her sister, that
will fall onto us. So we need to be prepared
for that and just understand where everything is. So whoever
you would share responsibility with, talk to them, talk about
(17:45):
it early. So siblings, your parents, spouses, you know, and
even from like in a marriage. You want to make
sure that you're talking about it about your in laws.
Do not count on your spouse to think through these
things with their sibiling. Take ownership of the potential that
(18:05):
this could happen and help make sure that the conversations
are happening while everybody is calm, cool and collected and
not faced with a life changing decision. Right. The other
thing you want to think about is all of the
legal documents that come with this power of attorneys, living wills,
health care directives, and that goes into a whole other topic,
(18:29):
but just make sure that you understand what those things say.
Make sure that the people that maybe are a little
bit older have had the conversations with you. You know
who's making the health decisions and what that will mean
for you and your family. And then obviously plan for
your future too. Don't pause on retirement contributions if something
(18:54):
happens and you have to step away from the workforce,
or if you've chosen to stay home and focus on
raising your kids, make sure you're still contributing to an ira.
You do not need it to be a four toh
one k. As I've mentioned in the past, those two
things are taxed the exact same way, at least a
(19:15):
traditional ira, So make sure that if you aren't able
to contribute to a four toh one k, you're looking
at individual retirement accounts that you have access to, which
is either a rath ira or a traditional And remember
a roth ira is tax free upon distribution. That's always
the first place to start if you haven't out earned
(19:36):
the ability to do so, because it is based on
your income. And remember you can only put as of
today's airings seven thousand dollars in an IRA either one,
and that number does shift every year because of inflation.
So find out how to contribute. If you need help,
as always, let me know, send me a message. I
(19:59):
will be glad to walk you through that. But don't
pause on retirement contributions. It is money that we can
never get back and time that we can never get back.
And then also think through what side income could look like.
What does that hustle look like that you maybe can
do at home if you need the extra income, What
(20:21):
can you do while your kids are sleeping or at
a playdate that may bring in a little bit extra
money to make you feel like you're not falling behind.
And obviously again to reiterate, the choice to stay home
and raise your kids is an awesome, beautiful, amazing choice
that so many women don't have the ability to make.
(20:42):
So for those who have made that choice, just consider
what you should be doing to not lose the power
of compounding dollars. And even if that means bringing in
a few hundred dollars every single week that you can
then put into a retire iron men or investment account,
you are still on top of your financial future, and
(21:05):
that is a win. The last thing is learned to
say no or not right now without shame. If you're
in a position where you simply cannot take on the
responsibility of staying home or taking care of somebody or helping,
there is no shame in admitting that. And I think
(21:27):
so many women make the mistake of saying yes when
they really want or need to say no. I am
guilty of that, and I'm sure most of you listening are.
We tend to do things out of the obligation or
of just feeling it's the right thing to do, and
we need to get better at considering ourselves in these
situations and making the decision that is best for us personally, professionally,
(21:53):
and financially. So don't be afraid to say no or
not right now, and be willing to explore different options together.
Be part of the solution, even if it means that
you aren't taking a step back, and being part of
that solution actively. It's easy to figure out if we
(22:17):
are communicating, which is always the conversation that needs to
be had, open honest conversations about what's best. Okay, So
what do we do if you're in the thick of it.
You have already had the conversations or the been forced
into this with an unexpected event, and you are a
(22:40):
caregiver that has already taken a step back from a
career to focus on something else. The best thing that
I can tell you, number one is look for support.
And I know as a mama to two young kiddos,
when they say it takes a village, it really does.
Make sure that you've got a good group around you.
(23:04):
If it's community groups, playdate groups, even you know, if
you're a caregiver for an elderly or sick family member,
find a group out there that is filled with people
that are going through the same thing you're going through.
You know, everyone always says that entrepreneurship is really lonely,
(23:24):
but really anything that you're doing without a group around
you is going to be lonely. And I know from
experience with different family members and friends that have chosen
to stay home with their kids. Sometimes you haven't spoken
to an adult in twenty four hours, and that can
be tricky. Or if you're taking care of somebody that
(23:45):
needs you, you know, you're in that mode of caregiver.
Sometimes twenty four hours a day. Finding a way to
step out of that world and recharge your batteries is
going to be so important to protecting your mental health.
The next thing, obviously is just track your time and expenses,
(24:06):
reclaim the awareness. And I know you never want to
get into that conversation with spouses or siblings, but I
think it is important to just say, oh, my gosh,
so I spent X amount of time doing this activity
this week or today and the expenses that come with it.
If anything, it is just validating that the work that
(24:29):
people that are taking care of others are doing is
incredibly valuable. And sometimes that's enough, is just to be
validated in the work that you're doing when you're not
somewhere getting accolades and recognized by coworkers and employees. In
this situation like that, it feels really good to just
(24:49):
be able to say a job well done. So track
what you're doing and ask for the feedback or at
least the colle colaborative conversation to feel seen and heard
and valued. And then, obviously, if financially you're in a
situation where things are a little bit tight because of
(25:11):
this position that you're in, there are so many different
grants and ways to take compensation. You know, whether it's
state benefits, and depending on what state you're in, there
are different resources for you that would help financially. There
are stipends. Just make sure that you're exploring if there's
(25:32):
any of those financial resources that are available to you,
because if there's a helping hand out there, let's find
it and take advantage of it. The other thing is
to consider therapy or coaching. Addressing burnout and identity loss
is a real thing, and this goes back obviously the village.
(25:55):
I know for myself, sitting around with friends sometimes and
having a glass of wine is is the best therapy
you could ever ask for. But in other situations you
may need a little bit more professional handholding to just
talk through what it feels like to be maybe a
top performer in a career. In stepping back, I know
(26:18):
my cousin that I've mentioned in a lot of different episodes.
She was a brand manager in New York City and
made the decision to stay at home with her three kids.
And that was a big adjustment to go from being
an executive that was running around a bustling city to
now being at home raising kids. She wouldn't change anything
in the world, but certainly there comes a little bit
(26:40):
of an identity crisis of your world shifts and the
things you're talking about shift, and some people will go
through that with less hiccups than others. So if if
you feel like you need some tools or resources to
deal with this adjustment, find them. There are resources out
there for everybody. And lastly, I would say consider financial journaling.
(27:05):
Think through the ways that For example, if you are
staying home with young children, we're looking at the costs
that is coming with that to your family, but it
also helps to think about the money that you're saving
by doing that. And certainly you know private school or
daycares are very expensive, uniforms and school lunches, all of
(27:28):
those things. So I would always, like anything in life,
by looking at one side, you want to look at
the other side of the coin and make sure that
both sides are getting attention so that you really can
celebrate the wins while also acknowledging the sacrifices that come
with making the decision to step out of the workforce.
(27:49):
And I will say, really, what you're carrying that no
one sees, and how you financially plan start honoring that
in visible work, because I know most days it feels
invisible and oftentimes will be find ways to honor that
for yourselves and celebrate the wins by just bringing awareness
(28:13):
to all of the good that you're doing, even on
the days that it feels hard to celebrate. So I
know this topic is not necessarily a fun one. It's heavy,
but so many of these decisions and situations are the
only way to unload some of that burden is to
(28:34):
have the conversations. Wealth isn't just about money. It's about freedom, options,
peace of mind, and women deserve all three of those things,
even in the seasons when we're pouring ourselves out for others,
and it happens to almost all of us at some point.
So I guess my biggest asks for all of you
(28:58):
is to revisit your budget, caregiving being a part of that.
Think through what that looks like if you're staying at
home or if you're taking care of someone else, Make
the adjustments that are necessary so that you are feeling
as in control of your financials as humanly possible, while
(29:20):
in a situation that may not have been one of
your making. Talk with your partner or a parent or
a sibling, make sure that you understand what support needs
to look like, what it will look like in the future,
and revisit those insurances. Obviously, we want to make sure
(29:40):
that you are as financially bulletproof as humanly possible, and
the only way to do that is to hedge your bets,
spend a little bit of money to protect yourself in
worst case situations, and make sure that everybody is on
board with doing so. And then share this episode with
(30:01):
a caregiver that's in your life. There are so many
women at home that may just really appreciate the validation
of a friend or wife or sibling listening to this
and saying, I listened to this podcast and realize that
you're giving up a lot and I appreciate it. Sometimes
(30:21):
that will be the best gift that you can give
somebody that's at home, pouring into somebody else. And lastly, guys,
just keep having the conversations. So many things that we
talk about surrounding wealth and success and money don't have
necessarily a direct tide to investments or budgeting or planning.
(30:46):
These things all impact the money coming into your family,
and like I said a few minutes ago, wealth is
truly about understanding all components of how money comes in,
what it does, and how it goes out. Right, So
have the conversations with each other about money. It doesn't
matter in what capacity, just start talking about it. You
(31:10):
never know who's listening. You never know when you're going
to be impacting somebody else by sharing information, and you
never know when you're going to be faced with something uncertain. So,
as always, thank you so much for spending a little
bit of time with me and listening to the Talk
Wealthy to Me podcast. Please like, share, subscribe, review, and
(31:33):
if there's anybody that you'd like to hear, let me know.
And if you need any resources on a checklist of
how do I even start when it comes to planning
to be a caregiver? Drop a note in the show
notes and my team will make sure to get something
over to you to give you a little bit of
a foundation to start with. Until next time, let's change
(31:55):
the way women think and feel about money together,
Let's welcome talk Welcome we Talk Wealthy to Me. I'm
Michelle Taylor, founder of Women and Well and Wealth. From
breaking money myths to building wealth and achieving financial freedom.
We're here to empower you to create your own path
path Talk Wealth. Now, join the conversation and let's change
the way women think and feel about money. Are you ready? Hi, friends,
(00:28):
welcome back to Talk Wealthy to Me. I am your host,
Michelle Taylor, and today we are talking about something that
I think so many people can either relate to or
know somebody who has been through this, and that is
the invisible crisis that so many women face around being
a caregiver. Oftentimes we hear this referred to as the
(00:49):
Sandwich generation, where women are taking care of both young
kids and aging parents, and it has a massive impact
on your own overall financial wellness. There is a Columbia
University study that says that women lose half of their
income once they decide to stay at home or become
(01:10):
a caregiver. That's staggering, that's really hard to overcome, and
statistically it is more likely to impact women. So just
a couple of things to consider. One, we never know
when taking care of someone is going to be asked
or required of us. Obviously, having kids, that's a decision,
(01:32):
but oftentimes people have not planned or thought about who
will take care of them if something goes wrong, especially
our parents. So seventy five percent of all caregivers lose
an average of three hundred and twenty four thousand dollars
in lifetime earnings. That's insane. And not only are they
(01:54):
losing that income potential, but when they go back into
the workforce oftentimes five steps behind with technology or have
lost the credibility of being an industry leader that they
may have been able to claim before they left. This
is critical. I know in my life, my grandmother was
(02:17):
tasked with taking care of my grandfather when he was
diagnosed with MS, and she had a special needs daughter,
my aunt, the middle child, is blind and mentally handicapped,
and they had to quickly pivot and plan around how
to make life work with these new and I hate
(02:41):
to say burdens, but new financial burden of education for
my aunt who needed a little bit more, and medical expenses.
So today, what I would love to do is spend
some time diving in and figuring out how to plan
for this, how to to try and at least chip
(03:02):
away at some of the financial implications of it, because
at the end of the day, you can't build wealth
in a system that doesn't account for your invisible labor costs.
But you can plan ahead, you can protect your future
and still show up for the people that you love,
and that is the most important thing, because this is
(03:23):
a crisis that no one is really talking about. It's
one that creeps in quietly through love, obligation, and responsibility,
things that women are often faced with and have no
solution to. Hopefully we can change a little bit of
that today. So what does caregiving include? That can be children, aging, parents,
(03:45):
six spouses, special needs family members, anybody that requires your
time and potentially financial contributions to be shifted. And obviously
there's so much in life that we can't play for
and for a lot of these instances, we are faced
with these things totally unexpectedly and need to be prepared
(04:08):
for the unexpected at all times. The financial toll that
shows up with these instances is significant. Lost income from
reduced work hours is obviously one aspect, but totally stepping
out of the workforces another. Now I know a lot
of you listening may know somebody that has chosen to
(04:30):
be a stay at home mom, and I think that
that's amazing. It's not because they are forced to, but
because so many of the women that we know and
respect and love that are choosing that path for their
family are doing just that. They are choosing to be
at home and that is getting even more and more
(04:51):
popular as time goes on, which I think is an
amazing thing to try and do. However, there are things
that you can do to prepare for that. If you
are thinking about potentially having a family, or if you
are in the workforce and realizing that you don't want
(05:12):
to drop off your kiddo at daycare, not only are
you missing time in the workforce so lost income that
you can never recoup, but also, ladies, we're missing out
and contributing to retirement accounts. And that's something that oftentimes
people aren't thinking about. When they're considering can our family
run on its own with one income, They're often not
(05:37):
considering that an employer is matching their contributions to a
retirement account, and certainly that's nothing that we can make
up for. So there are a lot of things to
think through. Also, the out of cost spending that comes
with staying at home, either to take care of kids
or a loved one, and that can show up ways
(06:00):
of transportation, medication, supplies, traveling, different insurances that need to
be considered. So there's a lot and starting to have
the conversations and normalizing conversations around money and unexpected not
fun aspects of planning is even lower on the totem
(06:24):
pole than sitting down with someone that you care about
and talking about like what you're spending every month, and
that is where we need to do better. Right, So
there's a huge emotional toll that cloud's decision making, whether
it's guilt, obligation, lack of boundaries. A lot of us
(06:44):
are asked to take care of someone that took care
of us, and it's really hard to say no to
an aging or sick parent or spouse that needs the
extra attention or care. And there there is no right
or wrong answer here. It truly comes down to who
(07:04):
should be staying home with this loved one and what
can we do to make sure that you're planning for
time outside of the workforce. And I think that it
needs to be said also that we've kind of normalized
caregiving as being a female duty, but the financial consequence
(07:30):
isn't gender neutral. It lands squarely on women's futures. I
can't tell you how many times I've encountered a woman
that was married and chose to stay home raise her
kids and then gets divorced. There's a lot of cost
that is hard to actually calculate when she's the one
(07:54):
that stayed home for so many years while the partner
or husband was out earning money for the family, but
also contributing to a retirement that now is only his.
So we don't want to look at this as a
woman's job. It truly should be a conversation in all
(08:18):
situations where there are multiple people sitting down and determining
what is best. Maybe you're in a situation where a
sibling or another spouse is in a better suited role
to step back and work from home and help take
some of these responsibilities on, But the money conversation needs
(08:39):
to happen when you're determining who is going to be
stepping into this caregiving role. Don't automatically assume because you're
the daughter or the mom, that it should fall on you.
Let's really try and not let emotion cloud the decision
making process when it comes to the implications of what
(09:01):
this will look like. So where do we start? It
all starts with awareness, conversation, and planning. Even if it's
an informal arrangement that you're in where you're just driving
a little bit out of your way to go help
somebody or a neighbor, or you're working a half day
maybe as a parent, you want to think through, even
(09:24):
in those instances, the financial adjustments that need to be
made to account for the time that you are taking
away from income generating activities. You want to make sure
that you're building that care plan, have the conversation add
the cost of caregiving to your budget, and even if
(09:45):
it's as low as just tolls and gas, you want
to think through what you can do to get in
front of those things. You also want to set up
a care giving emergency fund so oftentime with anybody that
is requiring the assistance of someone else, there are going
to be unexpected things that happen that you need to
(10:07):
be prepared for. I would say that one of the
easiest ways to consider this is for if you're staying
home with your kids, and let's say that over time
you realize that there are some extra resources that are needed,
or even if it's just having somebody come in to
help because you have other children that are in activities
(10:29):
and then need to plan for going out to participate
in those activities, and you have a little or one
at home, think through what that will look like. Worst
case scenario, you are over prepared and have a little
bit extra money every single month to do something with.
But that is not a bad thing, ladies. We want
(10:50):
to make sure we're thinking through all of the things
that can happen and planning for them in advance. The
next piece is something that is not a time of fun, boring,
and nobody likes to talk about insurances, but we need
to in this case. So I'm not talking about life
insurance because quite frankly, that worst case scenario is that
(11:13):
person is no longer here. But what we do need
to spend some time thinking about is encouraging the people
in your life that may need you, the parents, the
aunts and uncles, grandparents, spouses. Make sure that when you're
making those elections with your employer or you are faced
(11:35):
with the option of doing it on your own, you're
looking at things like short and long term disability. Now,
I know this is a cost that is an additional
line item in your financial plan, but the reward of
it will be exponential if it's ever needed. So I
(11:56):
would say that during those real income produce years where
you are at the height of your career, we want
to protect that. So looking into both short and long
term disability is really important. Obviously, a lot of you
ladies out there are probably familiar with short term disability
because of being pregnant, and that is a helpful thing
(12:18):
to have. But just like in the title, short term
is really only going to cover you for a couple
of months, and we need to be prepared for something
a little bit bigger. Long term disability can cover anything
from terrible migraines that keep you at home for several
hours and things that will impact your ability to work.
(12:40):
You want to think through those and I know that
it's adding an additional cost, but I can assure you
it'll be the best dollar you ever spent if something
happens that's not in your control. I've had clients that
have gone on disability claim for vertigo. I mean, it
doesn't have to be something tragic, and I think that
that's what we need to remember would be suffering from that.
(13:01):
For example, a spouse would need assistance, and it would
impact potentially your ability to work a full time role
outside of the home. So think through those things. Make
sure that you've got the coverage that you need, that
at least you've got a financial cushion if something unexpected
happens with that. And this is something that for all
(13:23):
of you that have parents out there, and quite frankly,
when you're sitting down to do your own planning, long
term care is a hot topic for me and for
so many going back to my grandmother. You know, my
grandfather had just sold his business and got this MS
diagnosis after retirement, and think goodness that both of them
(13:48):
had planned really well for their retirement years because my
grandfather did have long term care insurance. Now, this is
nothing that would help with my aunt, who was handicapped
getting help financially, but it did allow for my grandmother
to have in home care without having to take it
out of their retirement fund. And this is what I
(14:11):
always tell people to think about. It's not just the
cost of care, but think about if somebody in this example,
my grandfather had a mess, he was home for a
decade before he passed away. And if my grandmother had
been required to spend down all of the money that
they had built their entire life saving when he passed
(14:31):
away she was still retired, how was she going to
pay for the rest of her life? And she lived
for another god I think twenty five years after my
grandfather passed. So long term care again is not anything fun,
but it is the insurance that covers you in case
you need in home care or if you need to
(14:52):
go into a facility. For any of you listening that
have aging parents, the more you age, the more expensive gets.
So I would encourage you to ask the people that
may rely on you one day if they've ever considered it.
Obviously it's a cost, and with people that are no
longer working, those costs are even more costly, right, so
(15:16):
think through what it would look like. Encourage them to
look into it, because again, it may offset some of
the responsibility financially from a child, a spouse, and it
would allow you to continue to work because you could
have in home care come in. So just to recap,
(15:36):
the biggest things on the insurance side you want to
look at are short term, long term and long term care.
And one more thing about long term care. As people
are living longer and medicine and care are getting more advanced,
long term care is not as prevalent as it used
(15:56):
to be. In you know, the last twenty there used
to be I think thirty carriers that would provide it.
Now it's down to like three or four. It's wild
and that's just because it's no longer profitable. So it's
something that you should pay attention to. Me as a
in the height of you know, what I would consider
(16:18):
my earning life. My husband and I are you know,
not spring chickens, but have a long way to go
before we retire. We want to protect those years. We
already have long term care, and every time that premium
is pulled, it stinks because it's extra money that hopefully,
knock on wood we'll never have to use. But because
(16:40):
we locked it in at such a young age, now
it is locked in forever until we cancel it, and
much less expensive. So pay attention to those three insurances
above all of the other ones that you've probably been
inundated with, you know, accidental death and dismemberment, all of
those things, the most important are the things that are
(17:01):
going to help you while you're still here, not only you,
but your children so that the burden doesn't fall on them,
and then also for your parents, so that you are
protected from both sides of the sandwich, if you will.
The other thing is, we want to talk about this early.
Talk about it with your siblings. I know in my case,
(17:22):
my cousins and I have talked about God forbid, when
something happens to my mom, who is now the primary
you know, responsible party for my aunt, her sister, that
will fall onto us. So we need to be prepared
for that and just understand where everything is. So whoever
you would share responsibility with, talk to them, talk about
(17:45):
it early. So siblings, your parents, spouses, you know, and
even from like in a marriage. You want to make
sure that you're talking about it about your in laws.
Do not count on your spouse to think through these
things with their sibiling. Take ownership of the potential that
(18:05):
this could happen and help make sure that the conversations
are happening while everybody is calm, cool and collected and
not faced with a life changing decision. Right. The other
thing you want to think about is all of the
legal documents that come with this power of attorneys, living wills,
health care directives, and that goes into a whole other topic,
(18:29):
but just make sure that you understand what those things say.
Make sure that the people that maybe are a little
bit older have had the conversations with you. You know
who's making the health decisions and what that will mean
for you and your family. And then obviously plan for
your future too. Don't pause on retirement contributions if something
(18:54):
happens and you have to step away from the workforce,
or if you've chosen to stay home and focus on
raising your kids, make sure you're still contributing to an ira.
You do not need it to be a four toh
one k. As I've mentioned in the past, those two
things are taxed the exact same way, at least a
(19:15):
traditional ira, So make sure that if you aren't able
to contribute to a four toh one k, you're looking
at individual retirement accounts that you have access to, which
is either a rath ira or a traditional And remember
a roth ira is tax free upon distribution. That's always
the first place to start if you haven't out earned
(19:36):
the ability to do so, because it is based on
your income. And remember you can only put as of
today's airings seven thousand dollars in an IRA either one,
and that number does shift every year because of inflation.
So find out how to contribute. If you need help,
as always, let me know, send me a message. I
(19:59):
will be glad to walk you through that. But don't
pause on retirement contributions. It is money that we can
never get back and time that we can never get back.
And then also think through what side income could look like.
What does that hustle look like that you maybe can
do at home if you need the extra income, What
(20:21):
can you do while your kids are sleeping or at
a playdate that may bring in a little bit extra
money to make you feel like you're not falling behind.
And obviously again to reiterate, the choice to stay home
and raise your kids is an awesome, beautiful, amazing choice
that so many women don't have the ability to make.
(20:42):
So for those who have made that choice, just consider
what you should be doing to not lose the power
of compounding dollars. And even if that means bringing in
a few hundred dollars every single week that you can
then put into a retire iron men or investment account,
you are still on top of your financial future, and
(21:05):
that is a win. The last thing is learned to
say no or not right now without shame. If you're
in a position where you simply cannot take on the
responsibility of staying home or taking care of somebody or helping,
there is no shame in admitting that. And I think
(21:27):
so many women make the mistake of saying yes when
they really want or need to say no. I am
guilty of that, and I'm sure most of you listening are.
We tend to do things out of the obligation or
of just feeling it's the right thing to do, and
we need to get better at considering ourselves in these
situations and making the decision that is best for us personally, professionally,
(21:53):
and financially. So don't be afraid to say no or
not right now, and be willing to explore different options together.
Be part of the solution, even if it means that
you aren't taking a step back, and being part of
that solution actively. It's easy to figure out if we
(22:17):
are communicating, which is always the conversation that needs to
be had, open honest conversations about what's best. Okay, So
what do we do if you're in the thick of it.
You have already had the conversations or the been forced
into this with an unexpected event, and you are a
(22:40):
caregiver that has already taken a step back from a
career to focus on something else. The best thing that
I can tell you, number one is look for support.
And I know as a mama to two young kiddos,
when they say it takes a village, it really does.
Make sure that you've got a good group around you.
(23:04):
If it's community groups, playdate groups, even you know, if
you're a caregiver for an elderly or sick family member,
find a group out there that is filled with people
that are going through the same thing you're going through.
You know, everyone always says that entrepreneurship is really lonely,
(23:24):
but really anything that you're doing without a group around
you is going to be lonely. And I know from
experience with different family members and friends that have chosen
to stay home with their kids. Sometimes you haven't spoken
to an adult in twenty four hours, and that can
be tricky. Or if you're taking care of somebody that
(23:45):
needs you, you know, you're in that mode of caregiver.
Sometimes twenty four hours a day. Finding a way to
step out of that world and recharge your batteries is
going to be so important to protecting your mental health.
The next thing, obviously is just track your time and expenses,
(24:06):
reclaim the awareness. And I know you never want to
get into that conversation with spouses or siblings, but I
think it is important to just say, oh, my gosh,
so I spent X amount of time doing this activity
this week or today and the expenses that come with it.
If anything, it is just validating that the work that
(24:29):
people that are taking care of others are doing is
incredibly valuable. And sometimes that's enough, is just to be
validated in the work that you're doing when you're not
somewhere getting accolades and recognized by coworkers and employees. In
this situation like that, it feels really good to just
(24:49):
be able to say a job well done. So track
what you're doing and ask for the feedback or at
least the colle colaborative conversation to feel seen and heard
and valued. And then, obviously, if financially you're in a
situation where things are a little bit tight because of
(25:11):
this position that you're in, there are so many different
grants and ways to take compensation. You know, whether it's
state benefits, and depending on what state you're in, there
are different resources for you that would help financially. There
are stipends. Just make sure that you're exploring if there's
(25:32):
any of those financial resources that are available to you,
because if there's a helping hand out there, let's find
it and take advantage of it. The other thing is
to consider therapy or coaching. Addressing burnout and identity loss
is a real thing, and this goes back obviously the village.
(25:55):
I know for myself, sitting around with friends sometimes and
having a glass of wine is is the best therapy
you could ever ask for. But in other situations you
may need a little bit more professional handholding to just
talk through what it feels like to be maybe a
top performer in a career. In stepping back, I know
(26:18):
my cousin that I've mentioned in a lot of different episodes.
She was a brand manager in New York City and
made the decision to stay at home with her three kids.
And that was a big adjustment to go from being
an executive that was running around a bustling city to
now being at home raising kids. She wouldn't change anything
in the world, but certainly there comes a little bit
(26:40):
of an identity crisis of your world shifts and the
things you're talking about shift, and some people will go
through that with less hiccups than others. So if if
you feel like you need some tools or resources to
deal with this adjustment, find them. There are resources out
there for everybody. And lastly, I would say consider financial journaling.
(27:05):
Think through the ways that For example, if you are
staying home with young children, we're looking at the costs
that is coming with that to your family, but it
also helps to think about the money that you're saving
by doing that. And certainly you know private school or
daycares are very expensive, uniforms and school lunches, all of
(27:28):
those things. So I would always, like anything in life,
by looking at one side, you want to look at
the other side of the coin and make sure that
both sides are getting attention so that you really can
celebrate the wins while also acknowledging the sacrifices that come
with making the decision to step out of the workforce.
(27:49):
And I will say, really, what you're carrying that no
one sees, and how you financially plan start honoring that
in visible work, because I know most days it feels
invisible and oftentimes will be find ways to honor that
for yourselves and celebrate the wins by just bringing awareness
(28:13):
to all of the good that you're doing, even on
the days that it feels hard to celebrate. So I
know this topic is not necessarily a fun one. It's heavy,
but so many of these decisions and situations are the
only way to unload some of that burden is to
(28:34):
have the conversations. Wealth isn't just about money. It's about freedom, options,
peace of mind, and women deserve all three of those things,
even in the seasons when we're pouring ourselves out for others,
and it happens to almost all of us at some point.
So I guess my biggest asks for all of you
(28:58):
is to revisit your budget, caregiving being a part of that.
Think through what that looks like if you're staying at
home or if you're taking care of someone else, Make
the adjustments that are necessary so that you are feeling
as in control of your financials as humanly possible, while
(29:20):
in a situation that may not have been one of
your making. Talk with your partner or a parent or
a sibling, make sure that you understand what support needs
to look like, what it will look like in the future,
and revisit those insurances. Obviously, we want to make sure
(29:40):
that you are as financially bulletproof as humanly possible, and
the only way to do that is to hedge your bets,
spend a little bit of money to protect yourself in
worst case situations, and make sure that everybody is on
board with doing so. And then share this episode with
(30:01):
a caregiver that's in your life. There are so many
women at home that may just really appreciate the validation
of a friend or wife or sibling listening to this
and saying, I listened to this podcast and realize that
you're giving up a lot and I appreciate it. Sometimes
(30:21):
that will be the best gift that you can give
somebody that's at home, pouring into somebody else. And lastly, guys,
just keep having the conversations. So many things that we
talk about surrounding wealth and success and money don't have
necessarily a direct tide to investments or budgeting or planning.
(30:46):
These things all impact the money coming into your family,
and like I said a few minutes ago, wealth is
truly about understanding all components of how money comes in,
what it does, and how it goes out. Right, So
have the conversations with each other about money. It doesn't
matter in what capacity, just start talking about it. You
(31:10):
never know who's listening. You never know when you're going
to be impacting somebody else by sharing information, and you
never know when you're going to be faced with something uncertain. So,
as always, thank you so much for spending a little
bit of time with me and listening to the Talk
Wealthy to Me podcast. Please like, share, subscribe, review, and
(31:33):
if there's anybody that you'd like to hear, let me know.
And if you need any resources on a checklist of
how do I even start when it comes to planning
to be a caregiver? Drop a note in the show
notes and my team will make sure to get something
over to you to give you a little bit of
a foundation to start with. Until next time, let's change
(31:55):
the way women think and feel about money together,
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