February 22, 2025 • 49 mins
Host Dr. Teresa A. Smith, Dr. TAS welcomes Melanie D. Phillips to discuss the importance of strengthening the mother-daughter and parent-child bond to connect and heal.
Contact Melanie D. Phillips
Connect with Dr. TAS at Linktree Bio
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Contact Melanie D. Phillips
Connect with Dr. TAS at Linktree Bio
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/talk-with-tas-show--6128538/support
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, I'm doctor Teresa Smith, doctor Tarz, and welcome to
this edition of Talk with Tars. Today I will have
Mellie deep Phillips with me, and Melanie is a two
times best selling author. Let me see if I can
get her in.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Okay, all right, you'm here.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Trying to be temperamental.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hmm okay h.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
H yeah, Oh there you are, Melanie. It was being temperamental. Yes,
it is so good to see you.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Good to be here. Thank you. I am honored to
be here with you, Doctor Teresa.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Well, thank you so much. Let me introduce you to
the audience again. Guys, welcome to this edition of Talk
with Tars. I'm your host, doctor Teresa Smith, doctor Tarz,
and today I have with me Melanie D.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Phillips.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
She's a two time best selling author, a publisher, an
accomplished ghost writer, and assault out after speaker. She's the
founder of Strengthening the Bund, an organization that creates safe
spaces for mothers and daughters to connect, hell and celebrate
each other.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
She's known as the Lift excuse me. She's known as
the Life Shift Coach Life Shift Coach.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
She specializes in guiding people through complexities of divorce, life's
transitions and using her transformative eight FS framework, which is faith, forgiveness, Fear, finance.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Fitness, family, friends.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
And the future, storytelling and her leadership, Melanie has empowered
countless individuals to rebuild their lives with clarity, purpose and strength.
So if you've been looking for practical tools, inspiration, a
ways to heal and grow, this conversation is going to
(02:34):
be packed with value for you. So you're in the
right place at the right time. Melanie, Thank you so
much again for joining me today.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Thank you for having me, doctor Teresa, it is such
a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yes, well, I.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Wanted to kind of give a little backstory for folks.
Can you tell us a little bit about the inspiration
for your organization?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
The inspiration for strengthened the Bond. Actually, I was in
the midst of going through a divorce and one particular day,
my daughter came over to pray for myself and my son,
and at that particular time I heard the Holy Spirit
said that you and your daughter's bond was being strengthened.
(03:22):
Now I didn't know what that meant.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I didn't know.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
I was like, Okay, Lord, I don't know what this means.
So during the process of the divorce, the Holy Spirit
came back to me again and was said that it's
time for you to form this organization. And the organization
is to bring mothers and daughters together. And what I
will call it is strengthen the bond. So that's how
(03:47):
that name came about. So it's an organization where I
bring mothers and daughters together to connect to I used certain.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Tools, I'll say, I use tools.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
And outlets so that they can connect, so that they
can heal, so that they can celebrate each other, christ
streng thing their bond and communicate as well.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So yes, well, you know, I think that that is
a wonderful platform because I think about you just happen
to be going through a divorce, but there are so
many reasons that keep mothers and daughters from connecting as
(04:30):
far their bond being solid. So to have an organization
that's focused on strengthening those bonds and celebrating the connection,
I think it's so needed at this point. And you know,
I have a mother and I'm very grateful that my
mom is still with me, but sometimes relationships can be
(04:51):
challenging when you talk about mother and daughter relationships, So
what types of challenges. Have you encountered helping mothers and
daughters to strengthen their bonds.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
I haven't countered all kinds of different relationships where mothers
and daughters are estranged from each other. Where mothers and
daughters they may have a relationship, but it may not
be a healthy relationship. Some mothers and daughters, the mother
(05:24):
may have been, you know, and in some kind of
substance abuse program or something like that, or either the daughter.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
And it's not just with the mother, because the daughter.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Can have these things going on as well, so you know,
it just depends. It's several different issues that they may
go through. Some of them are especially with teens. Now
I was talking about with you know, more mature mothers
and everything, but with teens, you may be dealing with
a rebellious teen. You may be dealing with a daughter
(05:57):
that has dealt with generational things. That's like the mother
may have gone through something, and you know, we talked
about rape, up, molestation or drug abuse. Then that mother's mother,
the grandmother may have gone through something and.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Then it trickles.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's a trickle down effect where the daughter may have
maybe going through the same thing.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I had one mother where the mother.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Was an affair and had this child out of the affair,
and that was a huge issue because the child did
not spend any The only time the child got a
chance to spend time with her father was on holidays,
and it's it's so many different issues. So trying to
(06:50):
bring them back together so that they can have a relationship,
some type of relationship, using.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
The tools that I have put in place, so.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
That they can have a relationship, because they're not always
gonna have a great relationship, but we want them to
have a relationship where they can respect each other at least.
I always say my motto is we are not each other,
but we are each other's keeper.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So yes, you know, I like that we are not
each other, but we are each other's keeper. Now, you've
mentioned several potential challenges from substance abuse. You know, I
talked very publicly about the facts that I was sexual
abused as a child. Yes, I'm an incest survival. You
(07:41):
talked about rebellious teeth, So I want you to select
one of those and then help the audience to see
how you would use your tools to then.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Help the mother and that daughter.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
All right, I want to start with the mother dealing
with a.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Was in an adulterous affair, in an affair, and the
daughter not having the capability to see her father anytime
that she got ready. Well, what we did was had
the coach the mother and the daughter because at one
time the daughter did not want to have anything to
do with the mother at all. She was mad at
(08:25):
the mom and she was mad at the so we
at least was able to bring them together to start
the conversation the mother. The daughter asked the mother, you know,
why did you do this?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
And the mother.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Responded, of course the mother responded, But the mother went
to say, she felt like that person was the only
person that saw her, and she didn't know that it
was going to last that long, and she.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Didn't know that it was she was going to end
up getting pregnant.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
So certain such equations, you know, get we got certain
different circumstances.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
You know, the daughter was then still.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Upset because the wife of the father did not know
that he had a daughter. So it was just a
huge mess. But what happened. What happened was the mother
did reach out to the father and the father eventually
(09:30):
had to tell his wife.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
What now.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
At that point, you know, we talked and we was
able to at least get the mother and the daughter.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Together.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
We was you know, they had several different coaching sessions.
They were able to talk about the situation with the dad.
The dad was able to. He did not want to,
but he eventually because if he didn't do it, then
the daughter was going to do it.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So the father eventually reached out took to his wife.
What happened.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
The wife was surely upset, you know, as she had
all right to be. And now I don't know their relationship,
the daughter with his wife.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
I don't know their relationship.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
But what I do know that the relationship with the
mother and the daughter is being mended. They are having
healthy conversations about what and because of that, well, I
did tell you this part that mother, her mother was
an adulterous affair as well, so it was something that
(10:40):
she saw something that did she mimicked. So that daughter
was like, I can't if I have any children, I
would not be in a situation like this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
So yes, you know, thank you Geneva Mzdva for joining us,
and thank you Zayne Russell for joining us. Also, I
think that example is so telling on so many levels.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I need us to look a little bit of clarity.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So the daughter at the time that you were working
with her and her mother, what age was she?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
She was grown? She was about twenty five years old.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Okay, yeah, so she had come to in the next
this question to make sure I'm still on the right path,
was my question.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yea, her mother was married? Was her mother married when
she was not married her? So the gentleman was married.
Let me ask this question.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
When the grandmother had an adultero's affair, was she married
at that time? So the pattern is these single women,
the grandmother the mother are having have had affairs with married,
(12:06):
married men, and children have been born out of these affairs.
And we talked about generational curses and this, well curses
a trauma depends upon what language you want to use.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But we see how.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
The sins sins, because we're talking acting generational things are
visited on the next generation. And then our applaud this
young girl, young lady who was advocating for herself and
then seeing then through all this process was able to
see how this has been passed on from generation to generation.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
And as she said, she does not want to carry
that on.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And I think that is so important on Melanie because
when I think about where we are as far as generation,
she's twenty five, it's a totally different generation, and she
understands the pain and she's living in a different time
where she's going to advocate for her pain to be
addressive and.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Pain was. Yes, her pain was being addressed. But here's
the thing.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Just think if she had a had a child and
her child wanted to get to know her grandfather, or
the child wanted to get to know, you know, her
great grandfather.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Tell your your child.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
That you were born out of an affair, you don't
have a relationship with your father. What do you tell
your child about your mother, your grandmother that your mother
you know your grandmother had. So it's just it's a
cycle that's currently just constantly repeating itself. So for her
(13:51):
to say this would no longer go, it will stop
right here with me. I applauded her for that because
it had to fib because she was got in peace
with that at all, and she needed to She needed
for myself to help her bring her mom to so
that her and her mom could have the conversation because
(14:14):
they really needed to reconcile, and I don't the twenty
five year old and her mom, and I don't know
if her mom and her grandmother ever reconcile, what happened
with them. But then when you say that the young
lady's mom said she why she felt seen, and I
think that it's such an interesting statement. Hi, Pops, Laura,
(14:37):
thank you for joining us. Hi Jesus black when twenty three,
Thanks for joining me, Hi Evert eleven seventy three, Thanks.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
For joining me.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I think that is such a telling thing that she
said that she felt.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Seen, and it's you know, and I remember.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
When when we were probably children, because we probably found
the same year.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
You know, I don't want to say that. Let me
see it a different way.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I've always said that people will do things because of
the desire for they're trying to feel a need, yes,
a negative need feeling. I'm gonna use the word I
would normally should say negative attention is still attention. So
if I've got a need that needs to be built built,
(15:27):
it doesn't matter that it's not positive. And in this time,
I'm defining positive as I'm in a relationship with someone
who is in a committed marital relationship he felt sing not.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
Understand and then she's mom felt needed. She thought that.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
And you know, I don't know why she wasn't with
anyone single. I don't know that situation. Maybe she had
been with someone single, maybe that person didn't treat her
the best I did.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
But with the married man, oh, he was.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Treating her just wonderful, treating her great because he could
go home to his wife at night while she was there,
you know, actually by herself. But he was still giving
her everything that she needed, giving her what she wanted,
giving her the money to take care of herself. And
(16:24):
some people minds, you know, you got that mentality that
I always say. You know, people are physically in prison,
but some people are mentally in prisoned as well. So
you're dealing with mentally imprisoned people that just because that
you're someone is taking care of your every need, whether
(16:46):
they're with you on a full time basis or not,
it's okay. This is for some people they think it's okay, Well,
at least he's with me, he's doing this for me,
and he's doing that.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
He's taking care of me.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
And you had and what you don't I realize when
you bring a child into the situation. You know, because
you are a hurt individual, hurt the next person, you
will hurt your child as well.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Absolutely, Hi Donna, thank you for joining us. And Hi Eugene, right,
thank you for joining us. And you're so right with that, Moldy,
because I think about situations of abuse, Yes, and people
are going to leave the environment, are they contemplate leaving?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
But the person and it can be male or female,
or the.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Person is taking care of all of the needs, so
they ought to stay in that relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
That toxic environment. Well, it's one thing when you make
that decision for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It's another thing when you make a decision like that
that then impacts the children who are being raised in
that environment, because what are we teaching the children? They're
always watching and they're always listening. What are we modeling
for them because they're basically that's what was happening with
this this family.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
And then for some the parents or the child, depends
on who it is, have their audacity say you do
as I say, not as I do. How can you
tell someone to do as I say, am not as
I do when the child is constantly watching the parents
and they tell you know, yeah, this is all the
(18:36):
child sees, So this is all the child knows, So
you have no you have no concern for that child.
That child eventually is going to grow up. That child
gonna want to know why my dad only comes around
on holidays, who is he going home to, where is
he gone every day when he leaves me? Or whatever,
(18:58):
you know, and people just don't think about that. And
then you get up set because you have a ton
of questions that's being asked.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Of you, and I don't know how to respond. Well,
I could repond with the truth, you know, but I'm
not going to respond with the truth, because then that
means I've got to be accountable for making a decision
that's now hurting someone else, whether I thought it would
or whether it was going to be intentional hurt or not.
(19:29):
The bottom line is because of what I did, now
my child is being hurt. And then the thing about
you know, he had to tell his wife after all
this time, because this young lady was going to let
her know that this is her father that I don't
(19:50):
even think the mother was going to even have that
conversation or even talk to the father at all until
the daughter said that.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
If you don't do it. I'm going to do it.
I'm going to reach out to him. I'm going to
and see with these with good old mister in the
internet and all of that. Can't find anybody. An address
is nothing to you can find a dress out of seconds.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
She already know where he lived, so she was Her.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Next step was to pay him a visit. So he
had to respond when that mother reached out to him.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
He had to respond to her.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Well, Melanie, because I know we're talking about mother daughter relationships,
but this, you know, when we can heal one relationship,
particularly this type of relationship that we're talking about, then
there's gonna be a trickle effect for the father. So
did the mother because I don't know her backstory.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Did the mother of the twenty five year old.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Sick that her daughter was never ever going to want
to actually see her father as an adult because I'm
no longer for a child, you know what I mean
When I say, oh, he only comes in. He might
pop over, and he might pop over at Christmas for
a minute. He might pop over before my birthday. He
(21:16):
might pop over and bring something when school is getting
ready to start, you know, So I'm using him popping
in and popping out. Did she not think that as
the child got older, that she would want to see
her father and was going to question why she did
not see her father?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Or it just never crossed her mind.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Now could have crossed her mind, But did she say
something about it? No, and it may not have crossed
her mind. But I'm sure the mother had to have
thought about what her actions would be, how it would
affect her daughters. I'm sure she had to have thought
(21:55):
about that, because she should have thought about the way
what her mother, her mother as her Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But you know this is so interesting Melney though, because
that's what I would think with my same mind.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Okay, but but if I have say, common sense is
not so common anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And I also remember if my mind, if I'm in
my same mind at that moment, and my mind's not cloudy,
and I'm able to be in touch with my own feelings,
then I'm going and remember them that I should realize
my daughter is going to want to know who her
father is, and as she gets older, she's going to
(22:38):
demand to know who her father is. But you know,
we I always call it that brainwashing. We do it
for many reasons. We do it in many different situations,
and this would be another situation where I have just
brainwashed myself.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I'm living my.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Life for God, how it felt for me. Now I
have done the same thing that happened to me. I've
done it to my daughter. But I'm a good mama.
I'm da da da da da. But I'm forgetting that
emotional component of what is happening.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
See, my daughter is headstrong. That's how I'm gonna describe
this young lady. He headstrong strong.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, I should know, this headstrong young lady is not
gonna let that go.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
And it's so interesting to me that only when she.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Was threatening to reach out to his family head me.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
That mama was like, let me call this man. Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
But then that makes me think maybe she never had
There was no reconciliation between her and her father, so
therefore she thought everything would just keep going in that
same way. And before we're gonna get off this. But
I also want to say this, Melanie, this is so sad.
It's so sad to me that we get into such
(24:02):
a state emotionally that we don't want to take a
accountability for what we've done, and then we hear other people.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
It's the lies we tell ourselves that the lies that
we hide behind. You know, as my mom used to say,
you can tell a life for so long until you,
as you said, you can start to believe it yourself.
And what it just reminds me and then we can
get off. You know, it reminds me of when I
(24:36):
was working in the medical field and it was two
of the tech I was the registered cardio baschelor technologist
and one of the techs used to where this sweater
all the time. So the other tech asks her, can
I borrow your sweater? So she said yes. So the one,
the one that borrowed the sweater, wore that sweater for
about a year or so.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
So when the other tech asked her, Hey, can I
get my sweater back? She said, what sweater? Girl? This
is my sweater.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
So you in your mind, you in your warped mind,
you know you you're thinking something that belongs to you
that is never yours.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
So you totally forgot that what you have done?
Speaker 5 (25:15):
What did you had borrow something of someone else's and
have not earned it. So you're just living this this
I'm trying to dress it up as best as I can.
You know, where you're just living this and thinking, oh,
this is mine, or either I don't even have to
deal with this, you know, because if I wear it
(25:37):
for so long, if I keep it for so long,
she don't forget about it, forget about it.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And the thing is, we don't forget when people have
been injured, they don't forget. Now, there may be times
that it's very but it will weird ast ugly head
at the oddest times because I haven't forgotten it. I
(26:05):
used to this when I was much younger, much much
much younger. I used to talk about the trauma. I
put it in a box and have nice and it's
on the shelf, and it's still in a box on
the ship.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
But that doesn't mean that Sometimes that box.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Don't tumble off the shell, and the least it comes
open and I have to pick it up, put what's
in that box back in there, and.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Put it back up, because it does visit me.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And I never know when the box is gonna tumble
off the shelf. So to think, and I love that
example to think that you go, I'm gonna let you
wear my sweater and you're just gonna keep it for
a whole year, and I'm just oblivious to the fact
that you got my sweater. Like, I'm oblivious to the
pain that I'm causing someone else. I'm oblivious to the
(26:53):
pain that I felt when I was in that situation.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Hum Like, like I said, sometimes, yeah, yeah, And this
is when I bring in the components of my as Yes,
deal with forgiveness, and we have to deal with family,
and we got to deal with how can we go
on with our future together?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
And we have to deal with the point of the finance.
Because when I say finance, it comes to mother daughter situations.
They may need counseling, the many counseling.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
It can even go beyond that.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
You know, when you're talking about finance and you're talking
about someone that's dealing with.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Trauma, where can trauma get you?
Speaker 5 (27:42):
Trauma can have you out here eating constantly or shopping constantly,
you know, buying stuff that you.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Really don't have money to purchase.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
You're using your credit cards, continuing to purchase and purchase
and purchase every.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Time you feel a need. You just buying on impulse.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
So I need to talk about these things how it
not only affects you, but it affects the way you
live as well.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
H Absolutely, because I was gonna ask you about the
the your af's framework and use it for this particular situation,
since this is the one that it seems to have
picked out everybody's interests in. Geneva said, be speaking truth here,
you know, and we and we talk about, oh, I
need retail therapy.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Now I've never said the retail therapy, but I've always
thought it was interesting, you know, And I'm like retail therapy.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
But you're right, we're still trying to fill a need there.
And it could be true. It could be alcohol, it
could be drugs.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
It could be prescription drugs, uh, illegal drugs, It doesn't
it could be sex.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yes, people, that's that's that's a that's a real need
I see to uh have those sexual desires.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
That's a need that people you know run to. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And you know, I think though when we talk about
the framework, you know, the faith, the forgiveness, the fear,
the finances, and that fitness and fitness is I'm looking
at that from a holistic, emotional, psychological, physical, intellectual. Uh,
you know, it's everything, and then you know that family, friends,
(29:31):
and then knowing that there is a future beyond where
we started. For using this example or another help me
to understand how you would apply the eight f's to
help the mother and mother and.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Daughter work through whatever their specific issue is.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Oh, Michelle, I don't hear you.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yep, because I can hear you now.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
I'm so sorry my phone was ringing. First we have
to deal with I should have put my do not
disturbed sign on.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
I'm so sorry. You have to deal with forgiveness. And
when I say forgiveness, you have to learn how to
forgive yourself. First, you have to have peace that were
surpassed all of your understanding, unique strength you know. For
you to be able to move forward, you have to
learn how to forgive yourself and then you can forgive you.
(30:40):
You can start with working on forgiving.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
Up.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
You sid on again, Michell, you must have had another
phone call come through.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Okay, can you hear me?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I can hear you now.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Okay. Uh.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
You you have to start forgiving. You have to forgive
yourself because of you're mad at yourself. You're mad at
yourself wondering why does my dad not come over to
visit me like he should?
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Is it me? You know that?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Do you not care about me that much? You only
want to see me on the holidays. You know, is
it that you just don't care? You care more about
your other family than you do me. So it's a
lot of things that's playing in her mind. And then
you're talking about you're talking about forgiving yourself like it's
not your fault, it's not your fault. This is something
(31:31):
that is bigger and larger than you. So therefore you
have to go to the source. So now you have
to learn how to forgive your mother, and then the
matter has you have to have that conversation to even
go back as far as forgiving your grandmother, because this
is learned behavior learn So it's a lot of things
(31:55):
that you know where forgiveness plays a huge part in
everything that you do.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
So we once you.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Start working on that chipping, chipping away with forgiving yourself,
chipping away with forgiving your mother, your father, your grandmother,
then you can start working on other things. Because I
know when I was in the midst of going through
my divorce, God told the Holy Spirit told me, if
(32:23):
you do not forgive others of their trespasses, then I
want to forgive you of your trespasses. Yeah, that's another
whole component right there. That's a whole that that's that's biblical.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah, but you are at an upset where you're not
and I now here's the thing. I get it.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
How can we move forward? You may not even know
how to forgive. That's that's another thing. How do we
start the processing the process to learn how to forgive?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
So forgiveness then this is this is when.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
You go to This is when you have that conversation
and also couple your coaching and you're with the Bible
with God. Going to God because forgiving can be for me.
Forgiving was I had to be able to pray for
my ex husband, and so God told me this is
(33:24):
how you're going to start the forgiving process.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I need for you to start praying for him.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
And then you know, if something happened, I was like,
oh God, I can't do that. I'm done with uh uh.
But then I and then but I thought about it.
So if I don't forgive him, then you're not gonna
forgive me. Because I need grace eaching every day every
I need grace. I may do some things I may
(33:51):
not I may not have said anything or send any
send or something, but I may have thought of some
things that I may need forgiveness for so we have
to be careful with you know, let it holding on
with certain things, being angry and bitter for a long
(34:13):
period of time, you know, because you can eat away
that you eat away at yourself and again it goes
back to those finances again because if you're bitter for
a long period of time, if that is eating away
with you, your forgiveness, what does that big giant thing.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
What does it?
Speaker 5 (34:32):
It's it's like the parent to sickness because once you
do you don't forgive, then you start to be stressed out.
Not only do you need to see somebody for retail therapy,
as you say, you need to see someone for high
blood pressure, someone you know, because you you know, you're
(34:55):
you're dealing with all kinds of situations, my grains that
can come from this.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
You need to. I mean, when you are stressed, it
can break.
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Your body down. Oh absolutely, So it's it's a lot.
It's a lot. So we have I I have to
deal with each and neighbor.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Now.
Speaker 5 (35:17):
I love what I do when I seed a mother
and a daughter come together.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
When I see that the communication can start. Man, I'm
just like.
Speaker 5 (35:31):
Thank you Jesus, because it is not me. Thank you
for using me as the vessel.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
So these are I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nannie.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Oh no, I'm.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Uh ro Raqui went on, now, thank you for doing
us And I was just gonna say that these are
some tough situations that you'll have the people to work through.
And when you share the story of the young lady
and the three three generations, the two generations, the three
generations as in it's been visited on that third generation,
(36:12):
the power of their story, Yes, how do you help?
Speaker 4 (36:20):
You know?
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It's the story is so powerful for healing and empowerment.
Why do you think that it's important for individuals to
get to a place where they can share there their
stories and then be able to help other people.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Well, you know and that and that that is the
key helping those that's in need as well.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
Your story becomes your testimony where your testimony can help
start the healing for other people as well. If I'm
in this situation and I'm listening to you talk, it
made spark something. I might say, you know what, this
is my story. This is my story, and I need
(37:07):
to have this conversation with my mom. I need to
bring my men and my mother need to come back
and listen to this podcast, to this, to this, so
that we can have this hard conversation. Man, my grandmother
need to have this conversation. Let me and if we
can't have the conversation, let me write her a letter.
Let me to write her a letter or something so
(37:30):
we can start talking. Because since you won't hear me,
and maybe you will read what I have to say,
you will see me, you know, someone will you because
we need to have the conversation.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
So it is something that needs to happen because.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
You like for me, I tell you, when I was
going through my divorce, I didn't know anybody else was
going through a divorce until I was going through one.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I said, what all these people are going through the borus?
I didn't. I didn't see any of that. Now I
knew people went through divorce, but it was.
Speaker 5 (38:05):
Not until it hits your you at your back door,
knocked on your back door, until you said to I said,
oh wow. And then for me, I was in barrassed.
I'm like, I'm not telling nobody about anything. But then
God said, yes you will mh.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
And he used you and instill using you, Melanie to
have other individuals.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Yes, Melanie, you know.
Speaker 5 (38:36):
So I said that I was again to birth all
these babies, all these different things that I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yes, absolutely, Because you also provide coaching services, Yes, yes.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
I do. I can find and for my coaching. You know,
I coach mothers and daughters.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
I coached individuals mothers or daughters, uh, and I coached
them on a group level as where I also coach
people that's making the transition through divorce. How I got
through using the afs, using the a s. This is
how I was able.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
To bring them into the fold when it came to
helping others because this is these are the things that
I use.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
So yes, and then also going talking to different organizations
in regards you know, those afs may be different, but
some of them are o the same, you know. You know,
you're talking about strategies. We're talking about the we're talking
about focus, We're talking about finance, the company's finance. Also
talking about what affects the affects you at your organization,
(39:43):
how it affects your family back at home, because if
you are downsized, if you if something happens there on
the job or you know, then it can affect your
home life as well. If something happens at home, it
can affect you at work absolutely, mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
And that's the reason why I like that. I'm gonna
call your a f's like a wrap around.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I like that because it does, Hi, Eddie, thank you
for joining us.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
It does.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Look at the whole person, that whole.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Relationship, uh, in order to make sure that they have
that solid food and given whatever is transpiring. And you know, sometimes,
as you said, we're going through things and we don't
realize other people are going through the exact same thing thing. So, Melanie,
(40:45):
how can the audience stay in touch with you? How
can they reach out to you if they want to
learn more about your services?
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Listen, it's real simple. You can go to.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
My website, Hey, the bonk dot com, or to make
it really simple, Melanie d Phillips dot com.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
And under Melanie d Phillips dot com. Then you would
see the different tabs.
Speaker 5 (41:12):
Where you can click on strengthen the bond, you would
you would see.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
My ghosts running.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
I goes right for plethora of people I have done CEOs,
you know, and everyone else I goes right for and
that that.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I love.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
So any aspiring writings that just don't have the time
we've got to go try to hear now.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Okay, absolutely, And here's the thing.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
I can talk about one one book that I've written
because she wants people to know that I wrote it
for her. And actually it will be coming out February
of twenty second. And if you are linked to me
on Instagram, strengthen the bond on Instagram or Facebook Melanie
Richardson Phillips. And here's the thing with Facebook, because my
(42:00):
my Facebook page was hat.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
A year ago.
Speaker 5 (42:05):
I in order for people to continue to reach me,
I took the hyphen out between my maiden name and
my last name, and so that people can still be
able to reach me, some of them still have not
reached me. I lost so many followers. But it's okay
because God got whatever. God has so much more so
I can't even worry about the past.
Speaker 4 (42:25):
But I said this.
Speaker 5 (42:27):
This young lady that I just written her book and
it will come by February to twenty second. It's called
My sixt Tier My sixteen year Crack Cocaine Addiction. And
this is these are the things that she's been going through.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
She's she's dealt.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
With so many things when it came to her being
a crack user, you know, her mother mother daughter situations.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
One of those.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
She was dealing with her being having low self esteem,
low self worth, not respecting herself actually, and allowing others
not to respect her as well. So these are some
of the things that we talked about in her book.
And it's a really good book and the I don't
(43:20):
even want to give everything away, but the sad thing
is which ended up being a great thing. One of
the sad things is because of the drug use and
all of this, she's in a terrible accident.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
But within that she is able to get clean. Speak
to people.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
She's been clean now for eleven years. Oh oh, I thought, Okay,
she's been clean for eleven years and she's doing great.
So now I'm saying I told her, I said, now
I got to get you to where you are out
talking and speaking and helping other women, helping other you know,
(44:05):
helping mothers, helping men because men go through things as well,
so they are important to you know, just helping those
who need the help.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
M Yes, Well, you know, since we've been talking about
Welcome Leandre sixty six twenty four, since we've been talking
about mothers, I have to do my own plug and
say that my new book will be released on February
(44:38):
the ninth, and excuse me, February the eleventh. And it's
called Transformation, My Mama's Wisdom, Unlocked Secrets to Success, and
I share real well, I share real mama sayings, and
I call the book Mama said. I share real Mama says.
But I've used stories that I have developed to illustrate
(45:01):
the lessons that I believe my grandmother was trying to convey.
And I will say this to you, Melanie, because I
think I've said this to my mother. I don't know
if I've said it like you talk about generations. My
mother's mother died about I'm gonna say about a month
or three weeks before my mother graduated.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
From high school.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
When I was a little girl, I thought something was
gonna happen around that time for me, and so I
told my mother because I've always been a dreaming so
I'm like, yes.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Something's gonna happen, Something's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, one thing that happened was I broke my mother's
stand mixture because I dropped it. But my mother was
pregnant in my high school graduation with my sister but
the fear, that's the point that I wanted to make
that connection because my mother lost her mother before.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
She graduated from high school.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I just knew something was going to happen to my
mom and that I would lose my mom. And that's
back to what we're talking about, how generational things continue
to happen. I was glad I still have my mother
with me, but I still remember that fear that something
(46:15):
bad was going to happen and I wasn't gonna have
my mama.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
You know. So again, my book is coming out.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
I refer to the book as Mama said, because my
mother says her Mama said, So we call the book
Mama Said.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
And it will be.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Released on February the eleven, so guys pick it up.
It's I call it a mixture between Real Housewives or
somewhere and little Southern like with it because I wanted
(46:54):
to make it very real to people. And I didn't
give all the sayings this time, so that'll be another book.
But I tried to clean it up some. But I
think you'll find some of the stories very interesting that
I crafted for Mama said.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
So it's available on February the ninth, so make sure
you pick it up now. I have enjoyed time together.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
Since Geneva is on the line, I just thought about
my it's not a new book.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
This book is about two oh.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Daughters.
Speaker 5 (47:28):
It's called and Your God Shall Be My God, where
mothers and there's a book about a collection of poems
and prayers of different situations that mothers and daughters have
gone through.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
The daughter may have written about her drug abuse.
Speaker 5 (47:46):
The mom may have and it may be in poetic style,
or it may be in a prayer, and then the
mother came back and responded, maybe a prayer or in
poetic form. So it's a book of prayers and poems.
But I'm the visionary of this anthology. So if I
brought mothers and daughters together, and we have the one
to call the prayer prayer Closet where I also wrote
(48:11):
that where I thought the different things that mothers may
have gone through. You know as well, we have some
that's anonymous in there that talked about certain things. But yeah,
so it's and Your God Shall Be My God by
Melanie D.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Phillips.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
And that's actually on my website as on Amazon as well.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yes, and so they can pick up these books on
your website and on Amazon, Melanie, Yes, all right then,
well Melanie again, thank you so much for joining me,
and thank everyone else for joining us.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
It has been a very enlightening.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Session and I do appreciate you sharing your wisdom and guys.
Until next time, remember before you go trying to take
care of somebody else, make sure you take care of
yourself first.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
By now, bye bye bye m
Hello, I'm doctor Teresa Smith, doctor Tarz, and welcome to
this edition of Talk with Tars. Today I will have
Mellie deep Phillips with me, and Melanie is a two
times best selling author. Let me see if I can
get her in.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Okay, all right, you'm here.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Trying to be temperamental.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hmm okay h.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
H yeah, Oh there you are, Melanie. It was being temperamental. Yes,
it is so good to see you.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Good to be here. Thank you. I am honored to
be here with you, Doctor Teresa.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Well, thank you so much. Let me introduce you to
the audience again. Guys, welcome to this edition of Talk
with Tars. I'm your host, doctor Teresa Smith, doctor Tarz,
and today I have with me Melanie D.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Phillips.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
She's a two time best selling author, a publisher, an
accomplished ghost writer, and assault out after speaker. She's the
founder of Strengthening the Bund, an organization that creates safe
spaces for mothers and daughters to connect, hell and celebrate
each other.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
She's known as the Lift excuse me. She's known as
the Life Shift Coach Life Shift Coach.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
She specializes in guiding people through complexities of divorce, life's
transitions and using her transformative eight FS framework, which is faith, forgiveness, Fear, finance.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Fitness, family, friends.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
And the future, storytelling and her leadership, Melanie has empowered
countless individuals to rebuild their lives with clarity, purpose and strength.
So if you've been looking for practical tools, inspiration, a
ways to heal and grow, this conversation is going to
(02:34):
be packed with value for you. So you're in the
right place at the right time. Melanie, Thank you so
much again for joining me today.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Thank you for having me, doctor Teresa, it is such
a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yes, well, I.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Wanted to kind of give a little backstory for folks.
Can you tell us a little bit about the inspiration
for your organization?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
The inspiration for strengthened the Bond. Actually, I was in
the midst of going through a divorce and one particular day,
my daughter came over to pray for myself and my son,
and at that particular time I heard the Holy Spirit
said that you and your daughter's bond was being strengthened.
(03:22):
Now I didn't know what that meant.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I didn't know.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
I was like, Okay, Lord, I don't know what this means.
So during the process of the divorce, the Holy Spirit
came back to me again and was said that it's
time for you to form this organization. And the organization
is to bring mothers and daughters together. And what I
will call it is strengthen the bond. So that's how
(03:47):
that name came about. So it's an organization where I
bring mothers and daughters together to connect to I used certain.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Tools, I'll say, I use tools.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
And outlets so that they can connect, so that they
can heal, so that they can celebrate each other, christ
streng thing their bond and communicate as well.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So yes, well, you know, I think that that is
a wonderful platform because I think about you just happen
to be going through a divorce, but there are so
many reasons that keep mothers and daughters from connecting as
(04:30):
far their bond being solid. So to have an organization
that's focused on strengthening those bonds and celebrating the connection,
I think it's so needed at this point. And you know,
I have a mother and I'm very grateful that my
mom is still with me, but sometimes relationships can be
(04:51):
challenging when you talk about mother and daughter relationships, So
what types of challenges. Have you encountered helping mothers and
daughters to strengthen their bonds.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
I haven't countered all kinds of different relationships where mothers
and daughters are estranged from each other. Where mothers and
daughters they may have a relationship, but it may not
be a healthy relationship. Some mothers and daughters, the mother
(05:24):
may have been, you know, and in some kind of
substance abuse program or something like that, or either the daughter.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
And it's not just with the mother, because the daughter.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Can have these things going on as well, so you know,
it just depends. It's several different issues that they may
go through. Some of them are especially with teens. Now
I was talking about with you know, more mature mothers
and everything, but with teens, you may be dealing with
a rebellious teen. You may be dealing with a daughter
(05:57):
that has dealt with generational things. That's like the mother
may have gone through something, and you know, we talked
about rape, up, molestation or drug abuse. Then that mother's mother,
the grandmother may have gone through something and.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Then it trickles.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's a trickle down effect where the daughter may have
maybe going through the same thing.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I had one mother where the mother.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Was an affair and had this child out of the affair,
and that was a huge issue because the child did
not spend any The only time the child got a
chance to spend time with her father was on holidays,
and it's it's so many different issues. So trying to
(06:50):
bring them back together so that they can have a relationship,
some type of relationship, using.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
The tools that I have put in place, so.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
That they can have a relationship, because they're not always
gonna have a great relationship, but we want them to
have a relationship where they can respect each other at least.
I always say my motto is we are not each other,
but we are each other's keeper.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So yes, you know, I like that we are not
each other, but we are each other's keeper. Now, you've
mentioned several potential challenges from substance abuse. You know, I
talked very publicly about the facts that I was sexual
abused as a child. Yes, I'm an incest survival. You
(07:41):
talked about rebellious teeth, So I want you to select
one of those and then help the audience to see
how you would use your tools to then.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Help the mother and that daughter.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
All right, I want to start with the mother dealing
with a.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Was in an adulterous affair, in an affair, and the
daughter not having the capability to see her father anytime
that she got ready. Well, what we did was had
the coach the mother and the daughter because at one
time the daughter did not want to have anything to
do with the mother at all. She was mad at
(08:25):
the mom and she was mad at the so we
at least was able to bring them together to start
the conversation the mother. The daughter asked the mother, you know,
why did you do this?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
And the mother.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Responded, of course the mother responded, But the mother went
to say, she felt like that person was the only
person that saw her, and she didn't know that it
was going to last that long, and she.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Didn't know that it was she was going to end
up getting pregnant.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
So certain such equations, you know, get we got certain
different circumstances.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
You know, the daughter was then still.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Upset because the wife of the father did not know
that he had a daughter. So it was just a
huge mess. But what happened. What happened was the mother
did reach out to the father and the father eventually
(09:30):
had to tell his wife.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
What now.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
At that point, you know, we talked and we was
able to at least get the mother and the daughter.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Together.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
We was you know, they had several different coaching sessions.
They were able to talk about the situation with the dad.
The dad was able to. He did not want to,
but he eventually because if he didn't do it, then
the daughter was going to do it.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So the father eventually reached out took to his wife.
What happened.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
The wife was surely upset, you know, as she had
all right to be. And now I don't know their relationship,
the daughter with his wife.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
I don't know their relationship.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
But what I do know that the relationship with the
mother and the daughter is being mended. They are having
healthy conversations about what and because of that, well, I
did tell you this part that mother, her mother was
an adulterous affair as well, so it was something that
(10:40):
she saw something that did she mimicked. So that daughter
was like, I can't if I have any children, I
would not be in a situation like this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
So yes, you know, thank you Geneva Mzdva for joining us,
and thank you Zayne Russell for joining us. Also, I
think that example is so telling on so many levels.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I need us to look a little bit of clarity.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So the daughter at the time that you were working
with her and her mother, what age was she?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
She was grown? She was about twenty five years old.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Okay, yeah, so she had come to in the next
this question to make sure I'm still on the right path,
was my question.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yea, her mother was married? Was her mother married when
she was not married her? So the gentleman was married.
Let me ask this question.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
When the grandmother had an adultero's affair, was she married
at that time? So the pattern is these single women,
the grandmother the mother are having have had affairs with married,
(12:06):
married men, and children have been born out of these affairs.
And we talked about generational curses and this, well curses
a trauma depends upon what language you want to use.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But we see how.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
The sins sins, because we're talking acting generational things are
visited on the next generation. And then our applaud this
young girl, young lady who was advocating for herself and
then seeing then through all this process was able to
see how this has been passed on from generation to generation.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
And as she said, she does not want to carry
that on.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And I think that is so important on Melanie because
when I think about where we are as far as generation,
she's twenty five, it's a totally different generation, and she
understands the pain and she's living in a different time
where she's going to advocate for her pain to be
addressive and.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Pain was. Yes, her pain was being addressed. But here's
the thing.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Just think if she had a had a child and
her child wanted to get to know her grandfather, or
the child wanted to get to know, you know, her
great grandfather.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Tell your your child.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
That you were born out of an affair, you don't
have a relationship with your father. What do you tell
your child about your mother, your grandmother that your mother
you know your grandmother had. So it's just it's a
cycle that's currently just constantly repeating itself. So for her
(13:51):
to say this would no longer go, it will stop
right here with me. I applauded her for that because
it had to fib because she was got in peace
with that at all, and she needed to She needed
for myself to help her bring her mom to so
that her and her mom could have the conversation because
(14:14):
they really needed to reconcile, and I don't the twenty
five year old and her mom, and I don't know
if her mom and her grandmother ever reconcile, what happened
with them. But then when you say that the young
lady's mom said she why she felt seen, and I
think that it's such an interesting statement. Hi, Pops, Laura,
(14:37):
thank you for joining us. Hi Jesus black when twenty three,
Thanks for joining me, Hi Evert eleven seventy three, Thanks.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
For joining me.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I think that is such a telling thing that she
said that she felt.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Seen, and it's you know, and I remember.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
When when we were probably children, because we probably found
the same year.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
You know, I don't want to say that. Let me
see it a different way.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I've always said that people will do things because of
the desire for they're trying to feel a need, yes,
a negative need feeling. I'm gonna use the word I
would normally should say negative attention is still attention. So
if I've got a need that needs to be built built,
(15:27):
it doesn't matter that it's not positive. And in this time,
I'm defining positive as I'm in a relationship with someone
who is in a committed marital relationship he felt sing not.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
Understand and then she's mom felt needed. She thought that.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
And you know, I don't know why she wasn't with
anyone single. I don't know that situation. Maybe she had
been with someone single, maybe that person didn't treat her
the best I did.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
But with the married man, oh, he was.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Treating her just wonderful, treating her great because he could
go home to his wife at night while she was there,
you know, actually by herself. But he was still giving
her everything that she needed, giving her what she wanted,
giving her the money to take care of herself. And
(16:24):
some people minds, you know, you got that mentality that
I always say. You know, people are physically in prison,
but some people are mentally in prisoned as well. So
you're dealing with mentally imprisoned people that just because that
you're someone is taking care of your every need, whether
(16:46):
they're with you on a full time basis or not,
it's okay. This is for some people they think it's okay, Well,
at least he's with me, he's doing this for me,
and he's doing that.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
He's taking care of me.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
And you had and what you don't I realize when
you bring a child into the situation. You know, because
you are a hurt individual, hurt the next person, you
will hurt your child as well.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Absolutely, Hi Donna, thank you for joining us. And Hi Eugene, right,
thank you for joining us. And you're so right with that, Moldy,
because I think about situations of abuse, Yes, and people
are going to leave the environment, are they contemplate leaving?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
But the person and it can be male or female,
or the.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Person is taking care of all of the needs, so
they ought to stay in that relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
That toxic environment. Well, it's one thing when you make
that decision for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It's another thing when you make a decision like that
that then impacts the children who are being raised in
that environment, because what are we teaching the children? They're
always watching and they're always listening. What are we modeling
for them because they're basically that's what was happening with
this this family.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
And then for some the parents or the child, depends
on who it is, have their audacity say you do
as I say, not as I do. How can you
tell someone to do as I say, am not as
I do when the child is constantly watching the parents
and they tell you know, yeah, this is all the
(18:36):
child sees, So this is all the child knows, So
you have no you have no concern for that child.
That child eventually is going to grow up. That child
gonna want to know why my dad only comes around
on holidays, who is he going home to, where is
he gone every day when he leaves me? Or whatever,
(18:58):
you know, and people just don't think about that. And
then you get up set because you have a ton
of questions that's being asked.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Of you, and I don't know how to respond. Well,
I could repond with the truth, you know, but I'm
not going to respond with the truth, because then that
means I've got to be accountable for making a decision
that's now hurting someone else, whether I thought it would
or whether it was going to be intentional hurt or not.
(19:29):
The bottom line is because of what I did, now
my child is being hurt. And then the thing about
you know, he had to tell his wife after all
this time, because this young lady was going to let
her know that this is her father that I don't
(19:50):
even think the mother was going to even have that
conversation or even talk to the father at all until
the daughter said that.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
If you don't do it. I'm going to do it.
I'm going to reach out to him. I'm going to
and see with these with good old mister in the
internet and all of that. Can't find anybody. An address
is nothing to you can find a dress out of seconds.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
She already know where he lived, so she was Her.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Next step was to pay him a visit. So he
had to respond when that mother reached out to him.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
He had to respond to her.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Well, Melanie, because I know we're talking about mother daughter relationships,
but this, you know, when we can heal one relationship,
particularly this type of relationship that we're talking about, then
there's gonna be a trickle effect for the father. So
did the mother because I don't know her backstory.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Did the mother of the twenty five year old.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Sick that her daughter was never ever going to want
to actually see her father as an adult because I'm
no longer for a child, you know what I mean
When I say, oh, he only comes in. He might
pop over, and he might pop over at Christmas for
a minute. He might pop over before my birthday. He
(21:16):
might pop over and bring something when school is getting
ready to start, you know, So I'm using him popping
in and popping out. Did she not think that as
the child got older, that she would want to see
her father and was going to question why she did
not see her father?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Or it just never crossed her mind.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Now could have crossed her mind, But did she say
something about it? No, and it may not have crossed
her mind. But I'm sure the mother had to have
thought about what her actions would be, how it would
affect her daughters. I'm sure she had to have thought
(21:55):
about that, because she should have thought about the way
what her mother, her mother as her Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But you know this is so interesting Melney though, because
that's what I would think with my same mind.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Okay, but but if I have say, common sense is
not so common anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And I also remember if my mind, if I'm in
my same mind at that moment, and my mind's not cloudy,
and I'm able to be in touch with my own feelings,
then I'm going and remember them that I should realize
my daughter is going to want to know who her
father is, and as she gets older, she's going to
(22:38):
demand to know who her father is. But you know,
we I always call it that brainwashing. We do it
for many reasons. We do it in many different situations,
and this would be another situation where I have just
brainwashed myself.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I'm living my.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Life for God, how it felt for me. Now I
have done the same thing that happened to me. I've
done it to my daughter. But I'm a good mama.
I'm da da da da da. But I'm forgetting that
emotional component of what is happening.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
See, my daughter is headstrong. That's how I'm gonna describe
this young lady. He headstrong strong.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, I should know, this headstrong young lady is not
gonna let that go.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
And it's so interesting to me that only when she.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Was threatening to reach out to his family head me.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
That mama was like, let me call this man. Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
But then that makes me think maybe she never had
There was no reconciliation between her and her father, so
therefore she thought everything would just keep going in that
same way. And before we're gonna get off this. But
I also want to say this, Melanie, this is so sad.
It's so sad to me that we get into such
(24:02):
a state emotionally that we don't want to take a
accountability for what we've done, and then we hear other people.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
It's the lies we tell ourselves that the lies that
we hide behind. You know, as my mom used to say,
you can tell a life for so long until you,
as you said, you can start to believe it yourself.
And what it just reminds me and then we can
get off. You know, it reminds me of when I
(24:36):
was working in the medical field and it was two
of the tech I was the registered cardio baschelor technologist
and one of the techs used to where this sweater
all the time. So the other tech asks her, can
I borrow your sweater? So she said yes. So the one,
the one that borrowed the sweater, wore that sweater for
about a year or so.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
So when the other tech asked her, Hey, can I
get my sweater back? She said, what sweater? Girl? This
is my sweater.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
So you in your mind, you in your warped mind,
you know you you're thinking something that belongs to you
that is never yours.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
So you totally forgot that what you have done?
Speaker 5 (25:15):
What did you had borrow something of someone else's and
have not earned it. So you're just living this this
I'm trying to dress it up as best as I can.
You know, where you're just living this and thinking, oh,
this is mine, or either I don't even have to
deal with this, you know, because if I wear it
(25:37):
for so long, if I keep it for so long,
she don't forget about it, forget about it.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And the thing is, we don't forget when people have
been injured, they don't forget. Now, there may be times
that it's very but it will weird ast ugly head
at the oddest times because I haven't forgotten it. I
(26:05):
used to this when I was much younger, much much
much younger. I used to talk about the trauma. I
put it in a box and have nice and it's
on the shelf, and it's still in a box on
the ship.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
But that doesn't mean that Sometimes that box.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Don't tumble off the shell, and the least it comes
open and I have to pick it up, put what's
in that box back in there, and.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Put it back up, because it does visit me.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And I never know when the box is gonna tumble
off the shelf. So to think, and I love that
example to think that you go, I'm gonna let you
wear my sweater and you're just gonna keep it for
a whole year, and I'm just oblivious to the fact
that you got my sweater. Like, I'm oblivious to the
pain that I'm causing someone else. I'm oblivious to the
(26:53):
pain that I felt when I was in that situation.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Hum Like, like I said, sometimes, yeah, yeah, And this
is when I bring in the components of my as Yes,
deal with forgiveness, and we have to deal with family,
and we got to deal with how can we go
on with our future together?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
And we have to deal with the point of the finance.
Because when I say finance, it comes to mother daughter situations.
They may need counseling, the many counseling.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
It can even go beyond that.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
You know, when you're talking about finance and you're talking
about someone that's dealing with.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Trauma, where can trauma get you?
Speaker 5 (27:42):
Trauma can have you out here eating constantly or shopping constantly,
you know, buying stuff that you.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Really don't have money to purchase.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
You're using your credit cards, continuing to purchase and purchase
and purchase every.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Time you feel a need. You just buying on impulse.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
So I need to talk about these things how it
not only affects you, but it affects the way you
live as well.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
H Absolutely, because I was gonna ask you about the
the your af's framework and use it for this particular situation,
since this is the one that it seems to have
picked out everybody's interests in. Geneva said, be speaking truth here,
you know, and we and we talk about, oh, I
need retail therapy.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Now I've never said the retail therapy, but I've always
thought it was interesting, you know, And I'm like retail therapy.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
But you're right, we're still trying to fill a need there.
And it could be true. It could be alcohol, it
could be drugs.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
It could be prescription drugs, uh, illegal drugs, It doesn't
it could be sex.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yes, people, that's that's that's a that's a real need
I see to uh have those sexual desires.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
That's a need that people you know run to. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And you know, I think though when we talk about
the framework, you know, the faith, the forgiveness, the fear,
the finances, and that fitness and fitness is I'm looking
at that from a holistic, emotional, psychological, physical, intellectual. Uh,
you know, it's everything, and then you know that family, friends,
(29:31):
and then knowing that there is a future beyond where
we started. For using this example or another help me
to understand how you would apply the eight f's to
help the mother and mother and.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Daughter work through whatever their specific issue is.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Oh, Michelle, I don't hear you.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yep, because I can hear you now.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
I'm so sorry my phone was ringing. First we have
to deal with I should have put my do not
disturbed sign on.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
I'm so sorry. You have to deal with forgiveness. And
when I say forgiveness, you have to learn how to
forgive yourself. First, you have to have peace that were
surpassed all of your understanding, unique strength you know. For
you to be able to move forward, you have to
learn how to forgive yourself and then you can forgive you.
(30:40):
You can start with working on forgiving.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
Up.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
You sid on again, Michell, you must have had another
phone call come through.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Okay, can you hear me?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I can hear you now.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Okay. Uh.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
You you have to start forgiving. You have to forgive
yourself because of you're mad at yourself. You're mad at
yourself wondering why does my dad not come over to
visit me like he should?
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Is it me? You know that?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Do you not care about me that much? You only
want to see me on the holidays. You know, is
it that you just don't care? You care more about
your other family than you do me. So it's a
lot of things that's playing in her mind. And then
you're talking about you're talking about forgiving yourself like it's
not your fault, it's not your fault. This is something
(31:31):
that is bigger and larger than you. So therefore you
have to go to the source. So now you have
to learn how to forgive your mother, and then the
matter has you have to have that conversation to even
go back as far as forgiving your grandmother, because this
is learned behavior learn So it's a lot of things
(31:55):
that you know where forgiveness plays a huge part in
everything that you do.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
So we once you.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Start working on that chipping, chipping away with forgiving yourself,
chipping away with forgiving your mother, your father, your grandmother,
then you can start working on other things. Because I
know when I was in the midst of going through
my divorce, God told the Holy Spirit told me, if
(32:23):
you do not forgive others of their trespasses, then I
want to forgive you of your trespasses. Yeah, that's another
whole component right there. That's a whole that that's that's biblical.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah, but you are at an upset where you're not
and I now here's the thing. I get it.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
How can we move forward? You may not even know
how to forgive. That's that's another thing. How do we
start the processing the process to learn how to forgive?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
So forgiveness then this is this is when.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
You go to This is when you have that conversation
and also couple your coaching and you're with the Bible
with God. Going to God because forgiving can be for me.
Forgiving was I had to be able to pray for
my ex husband, and so God told me this is
(33:24):
how you're going to start the forgiving process.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I need for you to start praying for him.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
And then you know, if something happened, I was like,
oh God, I can't do that. I'm done with uh uh.
But then I and then but I thought about it.
So if I don't forgive him, then you're not gonna
forgive me. Because I need grace eaching every day every
I need grace. I may do some things I may
(33:51):
not I may not have said anything or send any
send or something, but I may have thought of some
things that I may need forgiveness for so we have
to be careful with you know, let it holding on
with certain things, being angry and bitter for a long
(34:13):
period of time, you know, because you can eat away
that you eat away at yourself and again it goes
back to those finances again because if you're bitter for
a long period of time, if that is eating away
with you, your forgiveness, what does that big giant thing.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
What does it?
Speaker 5 (34:32):
It's it's like the parent to sickness because once you
do you don't forgive, then you start to be stressed out.
Not only do you need to see somebody for retail therapy,
as you say, you need to see someone for high
blood pressure, someone you know, because you you know, you're
(34:55):
you're dealing with all kinds of situations, my grains that
can come from this.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
You need to. I mean, when you are stressed, it
can break.
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Your body down. Oh absolutely, So it's it's a lot.
It's a lot. So we have I I have to
deal with each and neighbor.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Now.
Speaker 5 (35:17):
I love what I do when I seed a mother
and a daughter come together.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
When I see that the communication can start. Man, I'm
just like.
Speaker 5 (35:31):
Thank you Jesus, because it is not me. Thank you
for using me as the vessel.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
So these are I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nannie.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Oh no, I'm.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Uh ro Raqui went on, now, thank you for doing
us And I was just gonna say that these are
some tough situations that you'll have the people to work through.
And when you share the story of the young lady
and the three three generations, the two generations, the three
generations as in it's been visited on that third generation,
(36:12):
the power of their story, Yes, how do you help?
Speaker 4 (36:20):
You know?
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It's the story is so powerful for healing and empowerment.
Why do you think that it's important for individuals to
get to a place where they can share there their
stories and then be able to help other people.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Well, you know and that and that that is the
key helping those that's in need as well.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
Your story becomes your testimony where your testimony can help
start the healing for other people as well. If I'm
in this situation and I'm listening to you talk, it
made spark something. I might say, you know what, this
is my story. This is my story, and I need
(37:07):
to have this conversation with my mom. I need to
bring my men and my mother need to come back
and listen to this podcast, to this, to this, so
that we can have this hard conversation. Man, my grandmother
need to have this conversation. Let me and if we
can't have the conversation, let me write her a letter.
Let me to write her a letter or something so
(37:30):
we can start talking. Because since you won't hear me,
and maybe you will read what I have to say,
you will see me, you know, someone will you because
we need to have the conversation.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
So it is something that needs to happen because.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
You like for me, I tell you, when I was
going through my divorce, I didn't know anybody else was
going through a divorce until I was going through one.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I said, what all these people are going through the borus?
I didn't. I didn't see any of that. Now I
knew people went through divorce, but it was.
Speaker 5 (38:05):
Not until it hits your you at your back door,
knocked on your back door, until you said to I said,
oh wow. And then for me, I was in barrassed.
I'm like, I'm not telling nobody about anything. But then
God said, yes you will mh.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
And he used you and instill using you, Melanie to
have other individuals.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Yes, Melanie, you know.
Speaker 5 (38:36):
So I said that I was again to birth all
these babies, all these different things that I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yes, absolutely, Because you also provide coaching services, Yes, yes.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
I do. I can find and for my coaching. You know,
I coach mothers and daughters.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
I coached individuals mothers or daughters, uh, and I coached
them on a group level as where I also coach
people that's making the transition through divorce. How I got
through using the afs, using the a s. This is
how I was able.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
To bring them into the fold when it came to
helping others because this is these are the things that
I use.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
So yes, and then also going talking to different organizations
in regards you know, those afs may be different, but
some of them are o the same, you know. You know,
you're talking about strategies. We're talking about the we're talking
about focus, We're talking about finance, the company's finance. Also
talking about what affects the affects you at your organization,
(39:43):
how it affects your family back at home, because if
you are downsized, if you if something happens there on
the job or you know, then it can affect your
home life as well. If something happens at home, it
can affect you at work absolutely, mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
And that's the reason why I like that. I'm gonna
call your a f's like a wrap around.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I like that because it does, Hi, Eddie, thank you
for joining us.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
It does.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Look at the whole person, that whole.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Relationship, uh, in order to make sure that they have
that solid food and given whatever is transpiring. And you know, sometimes,
as you said, we're going through things and we don't
realize other people are going through the exact same thing thing. So, Melanie,
(40:45):
how can the audience stay in touch with you? How
can they reach out to you if they want to
learn more about your services?
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Listen, it's real simple. You can go to.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
My website, Hey, the bonk dot com, or to make
it really simple, Melanie d Phillips dot com.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
And under Melanie d Phillips dot com. Then you would
see the different tabs.
Speaker 5 (41:12):
Where you can click on strengthen the bond, you would
you would see.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
My ghosts running.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
I goes right for plethora of people I have done CEOs,
you know, and everyone else I goes right for and
that that.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I love.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
So any aspiring writings that just don't have the time
we've got to go try to hear now.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Okay, absolutely, And here's the thing.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
I can talk about one one book that I've written
because she wants people to know that I wrote it
for her. And actually it will be coming out February
of twenty second. And if you are linked to me
on Instagram, strengthen the bond on Instagram or Facebook Melanie
Richardson Phillips. And here's the thing with Facebook, because my
(42:00):
my Facebook page was hat.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
A year ago.
Speaker 5 (42:05):
I in order for people to continue to reach me,
I took the hyphen out between my maiden name and
my last name, and so that people can still be
able to reach me, some of them still have not
reached me. I lost so many followers. But it's okay
because God got whatever. God has so much more so
I can't even worry about the past.
Speaker 4 (42:25):
But I said this.
Speaker 5 (42:27):
This young lady that I just written her book and
it will come by February to twenty second. It's called
My sixt Tier My sixteen year Crack Cocaine Addiction. And
this is these are the things that she's been going through.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
She's she's dealt.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
With so many things when it came to her being
a crack user, you know, her mother mother daughter situations.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
One of those.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
She was dealing with her being having low self esteem,
low self worth, not respecting herself actually, and allowing others
not to respect her as well. So these are some
of the things that we talked about in her book.
And it's a really good book and the I don't
(43:20):
even want to give everything away, but the sad thing
is which ended up being a great thing. One of
the sad things is because of the drug use and
all of this, she's in a terrible accident.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
But within that she is able to get clean. Speak
to people.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
She's been clean now for eleven years. Oh oh, I thought, Okay,
she's been clean for eleven years and she's doing great.
So now I'm saying I told her, I said, now
I got to get you to where you are out
talking and speaking and helping other women, helping other you know,
(44:05):
helping mothers, helping men because men go through things as well,
so they are important to you know, just helping those
who need the help.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
M Yes, Well, you know, since we've been talking about
Welcome Leandre sixty six twenty four, since we've been talking
about mothers, I have to do my own plug and
say that my new book will be released on February
(44:38):
the ninth, and excuse me, February the eleventh. And it's
called Transformation, My Mama's Wisdom, Unlocked Secrets to Success, and
I share real well, I share real mama sayings, and
I call the book Mama said. I share real Mama says.
But I've used stories that I have developed to illustrate
(45:01):
the lessons that I believe my grandmother was trying to convey.
And I will say this to you, Melanie, because I
think I've said this to my mother. I don't know
if I've said it like you talk about generations. My
mother's mother died about I'm gonna say about a month
or three weeks before my mother graduated.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
From high school.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
When I was a little girl, I thought something was
gonna happen around that time for me, and so I
told my mother because I've always been a dreaming so
I'm like, yes.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Something's gonna happen, Something's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, one thing that happened was I broke my mother's
stand mixture because I dropped it. But my mother was
pregnant in my high school graduation with my sister but
the fear, that's the point that I wanted to make
that connection because my mother lost her mother before.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
She graduated from high school.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I just knew something was going to happen to my
mom and that I would lose my mom. And that's
back to what we're talking about, how generational things continue
to happen. I was glad I still have my mother
with me, but I still remember that fear that something
(46:15):
bad was going to happen and I wasn't gonna have
my mama.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
You know. So again, my book is coming out.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
I refer to the book as Mama said, because my
mother says her Mama said, So we call the book
Mama Said.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
And it will be.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Released on February the eleven, so guys pick it up.
It's I call it a mixture between Real Housewives or
somewhere and little Southern like with it because I wanted
(46:54):
to make it very real to people. And I didn't
give all the sayings this time, so that'll be another book.
But I tried to clean it up some. But I
think you'll find some of the stories very interesting that
I crafted for Mama said.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
So it's available on February the ninth, so make sure
you pick it up now. I have enjoyed time together.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
Since Geneva is on the line, I just thought about
my it's not a new book.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
This book is about two oh.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Daughters.
Speaker 5 (47:28):
It's called and Your God Shall Be My God, where
mothers and there's a book about a collection of poems
and prayers of different situations that mothers and daughters have
gone through.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
The daughter may have written about her drug abuse.
Speaker 5 (47:46):
The mom may have and it may be in poetic style,
or it may be in a prayer, and then the
mother came back and responded, maybe a prayer or in
poetic form. So it's a book of prayers and poems.
But I'm the visionary of this anthology. So if I
brought mothers and daughters together, and we have the one
to call the prayer prayer Closet where I also wrote
(48:11):
that where I thought the different things that mothers may
have gone through. You know as well, we have some
that's anonymous in there that talked about certain things. But yeah,
so it's and Your God Shall Be My God by
Melanie D.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Phillips.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
And that's actually on my website as on Amazon as well.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yes, and so they can pick up these books on
your website and on Amazon, Melanie, Yes, all right then,
well Melanie again, thank you so much for joining me,
and thank everyone else for joining us.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
It has been a very enlightening.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Session and I do appreciate you sharing your wisdom and guys.
Until next time, remember before you go trying to take
care of somebody else, make sure you take care of
yourself first.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
By now, bye bye bye m
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