April 2, 2025 • 30 mins
Host Dr. Teresa A. Smith, Dr. TAS welcomes William McCreary discusses raising a child on the autism spectrum.
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Follow William McCreary
Connect with Dr. TAS at Linktree Bio
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/talk-with-tas-show--6128538/support
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I am doctor teres Say Sniff. Welcome to this edition
of Talk with Taz. I am the host, and today
I have with me William McCurry. He's a professional truck
driver who was born and raised in southern Alabama, and
I'm a Southern girl, so are trying to sound real Southern?
As a slave bud. After high school, he served three
(00:23):
years in the United States Army. Thank you so much
for your service. And William later attended Heartland Community College
in Normal, Illinois and in his free time, he enjoys
playing golf, reading, and of course spending time with his family.
But today we're not gonna talk about, you know, the
(00:44):
fact that he's a drug driver. We're not gonna talk
about the fact that he served his country and he
likes to play god. Today we're gonna talk about something
that's really dear to his heart, his journey as a father.
He's also the author of A Little Boy and a Dragon.
It's a story that inspired that was inspired by his
(01:04):
own son, who was diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis changed
William's life and became the spark for a beautiful project.
So William, welcome to the top of tas well.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Thank you I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, I'm so glad to finally get you on the show.
Bull disclaimer normal, I don't do these bull disclaimers, but
William and I have been if we were playing phone tag,
I would say it that way, but we have been
playing tag. Probably it was last year we started this
journey of getting him on the show, and so I'm
(01:41):
so glad that he's now here. And I believe William
that timing is everything. I know that we're going to
talk about your first book, but I know you've had
several projects. Well we're gonna talk about a Little Boy
on a Dragon, but I know that you've had several
projects along the way, and I'm sure that we get
to the end, you're going to tell the audience about
(02:03):
your new project and also with how they can get
all of the books. So, as we died in as
a parent, and I'm not a parent, hearing a diagnos
this like autism for your child is such a pivotal moment.
Can you walk us through what that moment was like
(02:25):
for you?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It really wasn't that bad. It wasn't tough for me.
I've been in the special needs community. I have a
grandmother that was a director at a special needs community.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So it really didn't hit me that hard.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It just made me feel like I got a lot
of work to do, work to do.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
And you know, in my and another career, I used
to be vocation with Abilitation counsel and I don't know
if you're familiar with that term DR, but what I
did was I was a school r counselor, and so
I worked with students who had disabilities and my job
was to help them transition from K twelve into employment.
(03:17):
So when you talk about you weren't really thrown because
you had a grandmother that had been in that industry,
you knew that there was a lot of work to
be done. And knowing that and having that background, what
were some of the challenges that you had to overcome
as a parent to help your son.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I really wouldn't say there was a lot of challenges.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
It just was Actually, it didn't hit me by surprise.
I just knew that, like, I just had a lot
of work to do. I wasn't heartbroken. I just was
aware of the steps needed to take going forward.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Now, he said, didn't hit you by surprise, So tell me,
did you think that there was something that was a
little different about your son before the diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
No, because he started to talk and then he kind
of regressed.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
So I did take that and be kind of peculiar.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I just wanted to get him tested to make sure
that he was healthy and that, you know, we can
get him put into the right programs to make sure
that he was able to.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Basically be successful and be a happy baby.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Now I'm in North Carolina, and North Carolina we have
what's called the Teach Program, and I've worked with Teach
through my prior profession, and they work with the individuals
who have autism, and they helped to diagnose individuals who
may have autism. I know you're from Alabama. What resources
(05:06):
were available to you as a family, as parents to
be able to determine what was actually going on with
your son and whether they have been the slight regression.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Well, they have a speech therapy.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
They have a community here that's called Beacon of Hope
that are awesome.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
They're amazing. They do behavior development.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So you know, we were kind of like already thrown
into it and had a system and a program to
be a so we just kind.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Of like dove straight into it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Now how old is your son? Now?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
He will be seven on twenty.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
This mindy h Oh, he's got a birthday coming up
in a couple of days. Oh, his ears are burning, uh,
so that he knows it's gonna be some fun things happening.
So he's still a young man. And I say young man.
He's a young boy, but he's still quite young and
has a lot more development ahead of him. I I've
(06:13):
worked with individuals who have autism or asperger or who've
been on the spectrum. Have you guys been able to
see what his special gift is? Yet?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
He likes to have a repetitive count. He can also
read already, so I don't know necessarily if that's a
special talent. It's just I'm like, I'm taking back because,
like I said, my expectations.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
They weren't low, but he's expectations already.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And I just got a little kill when you when
you were saying that, And I do understand what you
mean when you say they weren't low, but he's exceeded
your expectations. And I think, yeah, sometimes as individuals I'm
not even gonna say as parents, but as individui, is
this our young man that we're talking about. Oh, he's
making his debut.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
To day too.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Hi, he's not going to probably participate too much, but
he is here.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Oh yeah, he is gorgeous. He's making his date you today.
But what I was going to say is, I'm going
to say something totally different. Years ago, when I worked
at the Department of Public Instruction, I was working on
a project and there was a study that had come
(07:33):
out from the US Department of Education, and it talked
about expectations. There was the parents expectation for a child,
the teachers are, the school's expectation, and then the child's expectation.
And what the study had found was that the teacher's
expectation was here, the parents expectation was here, but the
(07:57):
child's expectation was that the top. And the fact that
there was such a wide divide there. And I share
that with you and with other parents, because, as you said,
you wasn't that your expectations were low, but he had
far exceeded already what your expectations were. And so I
give that to you as again, because as he continues
(08:19):
to grow up and mature, he will continue to exceed
your expectation and maybe eventually even exceed his own expectations.
But hopefully when those years come, he'll be like, oh,
I knew I could do it all the time, you know.
And so that's just a wonderful way that children, regardless
of where they are as far as their learning, they
(08:43):
believe that they can do more than even what their
parents believe and even what the school believed. And I
think that's just a wonderful thing. Jesus black Man said,
keep being strong, black Man. He said that to you,
Geek solution to you black Man in the video. Great
(09:04):
dads make the world go around. Absolutely, they make the
world go around, and we need to celebrate and recognize
our fathers sometimes. So thank you for saying that, Jesus,
because sometimes folks like to give black fathers a bad
rep that they're not a part of their children's lives.
And they are part of their children's lives. There's many
(09:24):
ways to be a part of a child's life. And
even if you're not a father, I know a lot
of black men who are mentors and they're helping young
males as mentors. So again, they play such an important
role in the parenting process. Now, what was it that
(09:45):
made you say, Okay, I want to share my son's journey,
or share or to write a book about that you
called a little Boy and a Dragon.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I just basically want to bring awareness to the special
needs community, just be a voice for them, somewhat of
an advocate, to let them know that they're not alone, they.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Aren't not seen, they aren't not heard. I just want them.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
To be able to be treated with some type of
respect and dignity in the world.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I guess I think that is so important. And I'm
a little diff different because I've worked with especial needs
children and young adults, and so I see things so
totally different. And I get the fact that you wanted
to bring that awareness, because sometimes it appears that folks
(10:50):
with perhaps don't want to see them or don't want
to hear them. And I still believe, having worked in
medicine too, that the person is the best expert on
when it comes to them, be it something physical, something emotional,
be it something psychological intellectual. They are the person that
(11:11):
we should be tuned into. For lots of times, those
of us who may not have any disabilities, we still
sometimes folks don't want to tie into the person that
actually has the information. So I like the fact that
you want to be that voice, be that advocate to
(11:32):
make sure that folks understood that these individuals should be
seen and should be heard. And I'm going to throw
the word respected on their also, because they are a
part of our society and they are contributing parts of
our society, and we need to make sure that folks
understand that. So I applaud you for utilizing the book
(11:54):
in that manner. So you've written the book, How has
the book been received by those that perhaps we're a
part of I'm going to say your network, given that
your grandmother was in that community. How has the book
been received?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Been received greatly? Hopefully.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
A lot of people have gave me, giving me great feedback.
So I'm just kind of like banking off of that
and moving forward. I would like to get it into
the school district. I know a couple of people that
know the superintendent down here, so I'm hoping soon sooner
than later, to kind of get a meeting with him
and have him look for it and maybe having it
(12:35):
be a part of the curriculum.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Oh, that would be wonderful. That would absolutely be wonderful,
Because you correct me, are you hoping that the readers
see them. I don't know what use that word m
let mean want. Are there specific things or messages that
(12:57):
you have in the book that you want the reader
to to focus.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
On the message of, you know, kindness, compassion, love, love.
You know, they just want to be loved and treated
just like any other person, any other human being, any
other citizens. They want to be able to get a degree,
have a girlfriend, you have a regular life or normal life.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
You kind of go through this maze of life.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Uh. And that's and that's why, you know, when I
think back on my work with both rehab, it was
so important. I was a lot younger than not that
much younger, and what we did was to level the
playing field so that those individuals could have a regular life,
have a job, be contributing, have a girlfriend, go get
(13:48):
additional education. And that is so important to be viewed
as a contributing component of our society. What do you
envision the future looking like? Now that you have a
child who's on the spectrum and you're working through that,
he's exceeding your expectations at this point, what do you
(14:11):
envision the future looking like?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Well, since my son is coherent, he's very intelligent, we
have people who have come out of it through digestive
specialists boxing their system that way. You know, if it's
not necessarily autism, it could be a delayed in speech.
(14:37):
So I'm hoping and very and have very high hopes
that his is a delay in development. So because like
I said, he can read and we talk, he just
has he just hasn't got full sentences out yet. So,
like I said, my expectations for him, I hope to
see him be successful in middle school, be successful going
(15:02):
on to high school, and even hopefully making it to college.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Now, and I'm gonna touch and agree with you on that.
I was thinking as you were talking, so I want
to go back a little bit. Your son, it was
a speech delay, if I'm understanding it, it was a
speech delay that he met Steve might have been kidd
of chatty you younger, but then there was a speech delay.
(15:29):
Are you saying that's what was the thing that you
guys really noticed that was a little different.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yeah. Like I said, you know, he spoke to me
early on in life, so he's now coming back, coming
around full circle. And like I said, he's talking more now,
he's expressing himself more. Now, he's very independent. So he's
allowed to basically roam freely throughout the house, saying, you know,
(16:01):
just have a way, have his way with the place.
Go to the cabinet, and he wants certain things out,
and he'll tell me what he wants, like he'll tell
me his favorite snacks, slim gym, he'll say.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Gushers uh, he'll tell me juice.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
So we're just working on getting full sentences out. Even
before he left, out of he was trying to tell me, Daddy,
I'm ready for a bad So he was saying bad, bad,
and I'm not just yet, but I'm gonna get you
a bad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And you were saying because autism, you know, it's just
like with other illnesses. And I can talk about this
because I never text book. But then when I'm textbook,
the doctors don't seem to see that I'm textbook. But
most times I'm never text What what something's going on
with me? But autism and not just autism because you
(16:56):
said something. Don't want to go back to this to
delays autism and other forms of air quote quote, I'm
gonna say symptoms. I'm not even gonna say diseases or diagnosed.
I'm gonna say symptoms they present so differently in children.
(17:20):
Because you said that it's a possibility because you're gonna
you talked about digestives specialists. You said something about actionism,
auctionization and primary spinosa, and that you're doing other things,
and it's a possibility that he may, you used to
work terms, grow out of whatever. But depending upon what's
(17:44):
really going on, he may excel tremendously and things level out.
Because did I did I understand what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I was speaking to someone today and they're talking about
just leveling out digested drops to get those toxic chemicals
out of the stomach, whether it's sugar, whether it's lead
or et cetera. It's it's kind of like like I said,
just to balance out the emotions and get better sleep.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Mm hmm. I'm telling you. Sleep will do something for you.
They need to bottle it, I'm telling you. And and
it'll do something for you if you're not resting, because
you can get sleep. As my watch will tell me.
Sometimes you slap, but you didn't read, you didn't rest,
So being able to sleep then rest. And we're talking
(18:44):
about young kids whose bodies are still developing. Oh, it
would be interesting to see how he continues to develop.
I'm gonna touch and agree again that he had throw
it because of the fact that he can read. That
is so, you know, that's very encouraging to me. He
(19:05):
can read. We just got to get the sentences. We
just got to get them to go from words to sentences.
But the mind is a very interesting instrument because you
aren't understand if he can read now, because reading is here,
(19:27):
and the and and the and the continuum words are here,
so he can do this, but there's a gameyap in between.
So if he can do this, we just got to
develop this part and then they come together and then
we spring forward. That that makes any sense because the
(19:48):
fact that he can read, we just got to work
on the speech component and and I'm gonna say the connections,
the connections in the brain. So William, I want you
to keep me informed on how he's doing because I
have another interest because that's fascinating to me. And I
know that that's interesting. That's where we have to talk
(20:13):
out live. I know that that's very interesting that he
can read at this very interesting for anybody listen. That's
very interesting when a person can read, but they they
don't form play sentences. Very interesting y'all read between the lines.
But let me ask this, what clued you in on
(20:35):
digestives specialists seeking a systems through them.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Well, he has issues sometimes with battle movements, but that's
and then we're working with different medicines now that we're
trying on him, and it's kind of throwing his energy
off and throwing his you're off. So I'm kind of
like a testing that digestive in that. So once we
(21:04):
get you know, a specialist to kind of look at
him and give us a little bit better understanding and diagnosis,
I think we're gonna explore, like like I said, detoxing
him and seeing that if that helps with the behavior
issues and even issues as well.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
You know, I'm gonna invite some folks on my platform.
What I've told them, I'm going to bring them on.
I had I'm doing something. I'm doing some alternative medicine
I'll just use I'll just leave it at that. And
one of the things that I'm using is helped me
with my biol littlements. I had an issue with bios
and was out of work for four months as in
the hospital. And what I found is that I'm better.
(21:48):
He's in the alternative medicin and I've been off the
prescription medicine for several months now. My doctor doesn't know that,
but she'll know it when I see her in a
couple of months. But I took myself off of the
prescription that so it will it. I think you're on
the right path. I think you're on the right path.
And sometimes our bodies are filled with toxins. Uh so
(22:12):
I think you guys on the right path with bats. Now,
are there any specific lessons that you've learned that you
think would help a parent who may be just receiving
a diagnosis that their child may have autism? Any let.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's not a death census disupatient, work with your child,
and you know, hope for the best. I think things
will turn out well if you just stay consistent and
stay consistent and just you.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Know, move forward.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And he said best. Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
He said it best too. And I'm gonna agree with him.
You said, hope for the best, be patient and work
with your child. And he said best. He can say
it any word, but he said best. Yeah, I I
he said best. I get little kills here. Now you
got a new project. Now, tell the audience about your
(23:21):
new project.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
My new project is called a Hidden Surprise in the
fourth We just released it here recently.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
It's like I said, it's one of my things I've
been working on. I'm very proud of it, and I'm
just hoping to see Barry because views and result from
it as well.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Now you said that, well, I said that you like
to God in your free time and then re reading
and spending time with your family. How do these hobbies,
along with your son's presence, help keep you ground and
balance as you navigate his journey. At this point, he
(24:05):
can be a handful.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
So it does help me relax and kind of online
so that when I spend time with him, I can
give him my full attention.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And thank you for saying that, William, because sometimes we
think we're superman and superwomen. And if someone said to
me today, looks like you're not taking care of you,
because you know I cry the heartbeat these days, And
I said, you're right, because I've got some other folks
(24:35):
except that I'm caring. That's very very hard to carry.
But knowing that by you doing your hobbies. It then
allows ows you to give him your full attention. And
I can assure you I don't know the young man,
but just a little bit that I seen, he would
know if you're not giving him your full attention.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, you get distracted.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
You know, your emotion it wound up with the hustle
bustle living life.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
You get stressed out.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
You don't need to be stressed out when you're dealing
with your children, because then you take your emotions out
on them.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
And that's not what I wanted. Like all our good
energy and just stay positive.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Absolutely. And a friend of mine, she's helping with her
nephew and he has uh, he's in I think it's
the ninth grader this year. He has sensory sensory things
and uh, he does respond to energy. And she's always
(25:38):
been very careful, like if something was going on, yeah,
it didn't have to be that she was upset at
someone angry, It could just be something going on physically.
She's always been very intentional about making sure that when
she was around him, her energy, her vibe was was
calm because he would feed off of that. And so
(25:59):
I think that the point that you're making is well,
needed for our parents. You've written? Is it three books?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Swing?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
You've written three books? Now? Okay, now this is a
question for my authors and for.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
All your books children books they are currently yes they are.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
But now yeah, now, now I'm gonna pay I'm gonna
paint a stereotypical picture to ask this question.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
You are.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
A professional truck driver, and I know that I used
to date one. I know that takes a lot, uh
of a lot of discipline, though too you X are
for me? Then you swing to the golf? Would you
let me? You know you're analytical? How is it that
(26:56):
you're writing children books?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
You made time for what's important to you. He's very important.
That's why he's here with me right now.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
So but my point is, what how is it that
you zeroed in on children's book and so other types
of books that genre.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I don't know. I had been working on other things
as well. It's just the n'sok, children's books.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Since I have a child, and I have an older
daughter as well, it kind of stuck out with me
more and I feel like just reaching their community because
they are our future, was.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
My big thank you. That's the perfect answer, because what
I say to those who are inspired aspiring authors and
sometimes spoke so like where do I begin, As my
mentor would tell me about something else, I'm gonna apply
it here. Write what you know? That's right, right, what
(27:55):
you know? Now, you know, you've got a young man
that you're raising, you got an older daughter. Write what
you know. And because because I guess I was trying
to make it very stereotypical, here you are this strong
black man, but you're writing children's books and you're making
an impact, and I just think that's such a wonderful
way of a woman of faith. It's just such a
(28:16):
wonderful way that God is using you because you basically
are changing not only parenting, but changing how people view
black men because you're writing childredren's books. And that is
a wonderful gift to your son, to your daughter, to
your future grandchildren that hopefully you know, I don't think
(28:38):
your grandfather yet, but your future grandchildren that's coming in
great grandchildren. What a wonderful legacy that you were able
to take your gift and funnel it into children's books
and impact the world and education too. So that's just
a wonderful thing. William tell folks how they can stay
(29:00):
contact with you.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
You can read push me on all platforms William D
mcquarie on Facebook, on Instagram, mister dap and on TikTok
and I'm also as well.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So and what was the last one that you said, William? Three?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Three platform?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
That's but you can also google my name and the
books will pop up as well.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Alrighty then well, William, thank you so much for being
on top of times, and thank you for sharing our
young man with us, and thank you so much for
letting your passion for reading and writing focus on children's books,
because I think that is so important. As I said,
that's different, and I think we need to see your
(29:48):
young man. Your son needs to see it, and I
think other people need to see that we can do
and be anything, and that we don't have to be
in a mold because you are suing that here. You
are intelligent black man and you're writing, you're an author,
but you're writing children's books and that is so important.
And so I also say to my audience, if you
(30:09):
have a message that you want to get out, I
have a global audience that watches my show, Please consider
coming on Talk with Tars if you've got some content
that you're trying to get refined. I am an editor also,
and I'd be honored to help you get your project
to the general public. Again, this has been taught with Tarz.
(30:31):
My guess has been William mcquery and his bugly son.
And remember, before you go taking care of someone else,
please make sure you take care of yourself first. I
now
I am doctor teres Say Sniff. Welcome to this edition
of Talk with Taz. I am the host, and today
I have with me William McCurry. He's a professional truck
driver who was born and raised in southern Alabama, and
I'm a Southern girl, so are trying to sound real Southern?
As a slave bud. After high school, he served three
(00:23):
years in the United States Army. Thank you so much
for your service. And William later attended Heartland Community College
in Normal, Illinois and in his free time, he enjoys
playing golf, reading, and of course spending time with his family.
But today we're not gonna talk about, you know, the
(00:44):
fact that he's a drug driver. We're not gonna talk
about the fact that he served his country and he
likes to play god. Today we're gonna talk about something
that's really dear to his heart, his journey as a father.
He's also the author of A Little Boy and a Dragon.
It's a story that inspired that was inspired by his
(01:04):
own son, who was diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis changed
William's life and became the spark for a beautiful project.
So William, welcome to the top of tas well.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Thank you I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, I'm so glad to finally get you on the show.
Bull disclaimer normal, I don't do these bull disclaimers, but
William and I have been if we were playing phone tag,
I would say it that way, but we have been
playing tag. Probably it was last year we started this
journey of getting him on the show, and so I'm
(01:41):
so glad that he's now here. And I believe William
that timing is everything. I know that we're going to
talk about your first book, but I know you've had
several projects. Well we're gonna talk about a Little Boy
on a Dragon, but I know that you've had several
projects along the way, and I'm sure that we get
to the end, you're going to tell the audience about
(02:03):
your new project and also with how they can get
all of the books. So, as we died in as
a parent, and I'm not a parent, hearing a diagnos
this like autism for your child is such a pivotal moment.
Can you walk us through what that moment was like
(02:25):
for you?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It really wasn't that bad. It wasn't tough for me.
I've been in the special needs community. I have a
grandmother that was a director at a special needs community.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So it really didn't hit me that hard.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It just made me feel like I got a lot
of work to do, work to do.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
And you know, in my and another career, I used
to be vocation with Abilitation counsel and I don't know
if you're familiar with that term DR, but what I
did was I was a school r counselor, and so
I worked with students who had disabilities and my job
was to help them transition from K twelve into employment.
(03:17):
So when you talk about you weren't really thrown because
you had a grandmother that had been in that industry,
you knew that there was a lot of work to
be done. And knowing that and having that background, what
were some of the challenges that you had to overcome
as a parent to help your son.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I really wouldn't say there was a lot of challenges.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
It just was Actually, it didn't hit me by surprise.
I just knew that, like, I just had a lot
of work to do. I wasn't heartbroken. I just was
aware of the steps needed to take going forward.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Now, he said, didn't hit you by surprise, So tell me,
did you think that there was something that was a
little different about your son before the diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
No, because he started to talk and then he kind
of regressed.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
So I did take that and be kind of peculiar.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I just wanted to get him tested to make sure
that he was healthy and that, you know, we can
get him put into the right programs to make sure
that he was able to.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Basically be successful and be a happy baby.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Now I'm in North Carolina, and North Carolina we have
what's called the Teach Program, and I've worked with Teach
through my prior profession, and they work with the individuals
who have autism, and they helped to diagnose individuals who
may have autism. I know you're from Alabama. What resources
(05:06):
were available to you as a family, as parents to
be able to determine what was actually going on with
your son and whether they have been the slight regression.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Well, they have a speech therapy.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
They have a community here that's called Beacon of Hope
that are awesome.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
They're amazing. They do behavior development.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So you know, we were kind of like already thrown
into it and had a system and a program to
be a so we just kind.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Of like dove straight into it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Now how old is your son? Now?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
He will be seven on twenty.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
This mindy h Oh, he's got a birthday coming up
in a couple of days. Oh, his ears are burning, uh,
so that he knows it's gonna be some fun things happening.
So he's still a young man. And I say young man.
He's a young boy, but he's still quite young and
has a lot more development ahead of him. I I've
(06:13):
worked with individuals who have autism or asperger or who've
been on the spectrum. Have you guys been able to
see what his special gift is? Yet?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
He likes to have a repetitive count. He can also
read already, so I don't know necessarily if that's a
special talent. It's just I'm like, I'm taking back because,
like I said, my expectations.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
They weren't low, but he's expectations already.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And I just got a little kill when you when
you were saying that, And I do understand what you
mean when you say they weren't low, but he's exceeded
your expectations. And I think, yeah, sometimes as individuals I'm
not even gonna say as parents, but as individui, is
this our young man that we're talking about. Oh, he's
making his debut.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
To day too.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Hi, he's not going to probably participate too much, but
he is here.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Oh yeah, he is gorgeous. He's making his date you today.
But what I was going to say is, I'm going
to say something totally different. Years ago, when I worked
at the Department of Public Instruction, I was working on
a project and there was a study that had come
(07:33):
out from the US Department of Education, and it talked
about expectations. There was the parents expectation for a child,
the teachers are, the school's expectation, and then the child's expectation.
And what the study had found was that the teacher's
expectation was here, the parents expectation was here, but the
(07:57):
child's expectation was that the top. And the fact that
there was such a wide divide there. And I share
that with you and with other parents, because, as you said,
you wasn't that your expectations were low, but he had
far exceeded already what your expectations were. And so I
give that to you as again, because as he continues
(08:19):
to grow up and mature, he will continue to exceed
your expectation and maybe eventually even exceed his own expectations.
But hopefully when those years come, he'll be like, oh,
I knew I could do it all the time, you know.
And so that's just a wonderful way that children, regardless
of where they are as far as their learning, they
(08:43):
believe that they can do more than even what their
parents believe and even what the school believed. And I
think that's just a wonderful thing. Jesus black Man said,
keep being strong, black Man. He said that to you,
Geek solution to you black Man in the video. Great
(09:04):
dads make the world go around. Absolutely, they make the
world go around, and we need to celebrate and recognize
our fathers sometimes. So thank you for saying that, Jesus,
because sometimes folks like to give black fathers a bad
rep that they're not a part of their children's lives.
And they are part of their children's lives. There's many
(09:24):
ways to be a part of a child's life. And
even if you're not a father, I know a lot
of black men who are mentors and they're helping young
males as mentors. So again, they play such an important
role in the parenting process. Now, what was it that
(09:45):
made you say, Okay, I want to share my son's journey,
or share or to write a book about that you
called a little Boy and a Dragon.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I just basically want to bring awareness to the special
needs community, just be a voice for them, somewhat of
an advocate, to let them know that they're not alone, they.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Aren't not seen, they aren't not heard. I just want them.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
To be able to be treated with some type of
respect and dignity in the world.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I guess I think that is so important. And I'm
a little diff different because I've worked with especial needs
children and young adults, and so I see things so
totally different. And I get the fact that you wanted
to bring that awareness, because sometimes it appears that folks
(10:50):
with perhaps don't want to see them or don't want
to hear them. And I still believe, having worked in
medicine too, that the person is the best expert on
when it comes to them, be it something physical, something emotional,
be it something psychological intellectual. They are the person that
(11:11):
we should be tuned into. For lots of times, those
of us who may not have any disabilities, we still
sometimes folks don't want to tie into the person that
actually has the information. So I like the fact that
you want to be that voice, be that advocate to
(11:32):
make sure that folks understood that these individuals should be
seen and should be heard. And I'm going to throw
the word respected on their also, because they are a
part of our society and they are contributing parts of
our society, and we need to make sure that folks
understand that. So I applaud you for utilizing the book
(11:54):
in that manner. So you've written the book, How has
the book been received by those that perhaps we're a
part of I'm going to say your network, given that
your grandmother was in that community. How has the book
been received?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Been received greatly? Hopefully.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
A lot of people have gave me, giving me great feedback.
So I'm just kind of like banking off of that
and moving forward. I would like to get it into
the school district. I know a couple of people that
know the superintendent down here, so I'm hoping soon sooner
than later, to kind of get a meeting with him
and have him look for it and maybe having it
(12:35):
be a part of the curriculum.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Oh, that would be wonderful. That would absolutely be wonderful,
Because you correct me, are you hoping that the readers
see them. I don't know what use that word m
let mean want. Are there specific things or messages that
(12:57):
you have in the book that you want the reader
to to focus.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
On the message of, you know, kindness, compassion, love, love.
You know, they just want to be loved and treated
just like any other person, any other human being, any
other citizens. They want to be able to get a degree,
have a girlfriend, you have a regular life or normal life.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
You kind of go through this maze of life.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Uh. And that's and that's why, you know, when I
think back on my work with both rehab, it was
so important. I was a lot younger than not that
much younger, and what we did was to level the
playing field so that those individuals could have a regular life,
have a job, be contributing, have a girlfriend, go get
(13:48):
additional education. And that is so important to be viewed
as a contributing component of our society. What do you
envision the future looking like? Now that you have a
child who's on the spectrum and you're working through that,
he's exceeding your expectations at this point, what do you
(14:11):
envision the future looking like?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Well, since my son is coherent, he's very intelligent, we
have people who have come out of it through digestive
specialists boxing their system that way. You know, if it's
not necessarily autism, it could be a delayed in speech.
(14:37):
So I'm hoping and very and have very high hopes
that his is a delay in development. So because like
I said, he can read and we talk, he just
has he just hasn't got full sentences out yet. So,
like I said, my expectations for him, I hope to
see him be successful in middle school, be successful going
(15:02):
on to high school, and even hopefully making it to college.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Now, and I'm gonna touch and agree with you on that.
I was thinking as you were talking, so I want
to go back a little bit. Your son, it was
a speech delay, if I'm understanding it, it was a
speech delay that he met Steve might have been kidd
of chatty you younger, but then there was a speech delay.
(15:29):
Are you saying that's what was the thing that you
guys really noticed that was a little different.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yeah. Like I said, you know, he spoke to me
early on in life, so he's now coming back, coming
around full circle. And like I said, he's talking more now,
he's expressing himself more. Now, he's very independent. So he's
allowed to basically roam freely throughout the house, saying, you know,
(16:01):
just have a way, have his way with the place.
Go to the cabinet, and he wants certain things out,
and he'll tell me what he wants, like he'll tell
me his favorite snacks, slim gym, he'll say.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Gushers uh, he'll tell me juice.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
So we're just working on getting full sentences out. Even
before he left, out of he was trying to tell me, Daddy,
I'm ready for a bad So he was saying bad, bad,
and I'm not just yet, but I'm gonna get you
a bad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And you were saying because autism, you know, it's just
like with other illnesses. And I can talk about this
because I never text book. But then when I'm textbook,
the doctors don't seem to see that I'm textbook. But
most times I'm never text What what something's going on
with me? But autism and not just autism because you
(16:56):
said something. Don't want to go back to this to
delays autism and other forms of air quote quote, I'm
gonna say symptoms. I'm not even gonna say diseases or diagnosed.
I'm gonna say symptoms they present so differently in children.
(17:20):
Because you said that it's a possibility because you're gonna
you talked about digestives specialists. You said something about actionism,
auctionization and primary spinosa, and that you're doing other things,
and it's a possibility that he may, you used to
work terms, grow out of whatever. But depending upon what's
(17:44):
really going on, he may excel tremendously and things level out.
Because did I did I understand what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I was speaking to someone today and they're talking about
just leveling out digested drops to get those toxic chemicals
out of the stomach, whether it's sugar, whether it's lead
or et cetera. It's it's kind of like like I said,
just to balance out the emotions and get better sleep.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Mm hmm. I'm telling you. Sleep will do something for you.
They need to bottle it, I'm telling you. And and
it'll do something for you if you're not resting, because
you can get sleep. As my watch will tell me.
Sometimes you slap, but you didn't read, you didn't rest,
So being able to sleep then rest. And we're talking
(18:44):
about young kids whose bodies are still developing. Oh, it
would be interesting to see how he continues to develop.
I'm gonna touch and agree again that he had throw
it because of the fact that he can read. That
is so, you know, that's very encouraging to me. He
(19:05):
can read. We just got to get the sentences. We
just got to get them to go from words to sentences.
But the mind is a very interesting instrument because you
aren't understand if he can read now, because reading is here,
(19:27):
and the and and the and the continuum words are here,
so he can do this, but there's a gameyap in between.
So if he can do this, we just got to
develop this part and then they come together and then
we spring forward. That that makes any sense because the
(19:48):
fact that he can read, we just got to work
on the speech component and and I'm gonna say the connections,
the connections in the brain. So William, I want you
to keep me informed on how he's doing because I
have another interest because that's fascinating to me. And I
know that that's interesting. That's where we have to talk
(20:13):
out live. I know that that's very interesting that he
can read at this very interesting for anybody listen. That's
very interesting when a person can read, but they they
don't form play sentences. Very interesting y'all read between the lines.
But let me ask this, what clued you in on
(20:35):
digestives specialists seeking a systems through them.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Well, he has issues sometimes with battle movements, but that's
and then we're working with different medicines now that we're
trying on him, and it's kind of throwing his energy
off and throwing his you're off. So I'm kind of
like a testing that digestive in that. So once we
(21:04):
get you know, a specialist to kind of look at
him and give us a little bit better understanding and diagnosis,
I think we're gonna explore, like like I said, detoxing
him and seeing that if that helps with the behavior
issues and even issues as well.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
You know, I'm gonna invite some folks on my platform.
What I've told them, I'm going to bring them on.
I had I'm doing something. I'm doing some alternative medicine
I'll just use I'll just leave it at that. And
one of the things that I'm using is helped me
with my biol littlements. I had an issue with bios
and was out of work for four months as in
the hospital. And what I found is that I'm better.
(21:48):
He's in the alternative medicin and I've been off the
prescription medicine for several months now. My doctor doesn't know that,
but she'll know it when I see her in a
couple of months. But I took myself off of the
prescription that so it will it. I think you're on
the right path. I think you're on the right path.
And sometimes our bodies are filled with toxins. Uh so
(22:12):
I think you guys on the right path with bats. Now,
are there any specific lessons that you've learned that you
think would help a parent who may be just receiving
a diagnosis that their child may have autism? Any let.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's not a death census disupatient, work with your child,
and you know, hope for the best. I think things
will turn out well if you just stay consistent and
stay consistent and just you.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Know, move forward.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And he said best. Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
He said it best too. And I'm gonna agree with him.
You said, hope for the best, be patient and work
with your child. And he said best. He can say
it any word, but he said best. Yeah, I I
he said best. I get little kills here. Now you
got a new project. Now, tell the audience about your
(23:21):
new project.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
My new project is called a Hidden Surprise in the
fourth We just released it here recently.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
It's like I said, it's one of my things I've
been working on. I'm very proud of it, and I'm
just hoping to see Barry because views and result from
it as well.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Now you said that, well, I said that you like
to God in your free time and then re reading
and spending time with your family. How do these hobbies,
along with your son's presence, help keep you ground and
balance as you navigate his journey. At this point, he
(24:05):
can be a handful.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
So it does help me relax and kind of online
so that when I spend time with him, I can
give him my full attention.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And thank you for saying that, William, because sometimes we
think we're superman and superwomen. And if someone said to
me today, looks like you're not taking care of you,
because you know I cry the heartbeat these days, And
I said, you're right, because I've got some other folks
(24:35):
except that I'm caring. That's very very hard to carry.
But knowing that by you doing your hobbies. It then
allows ows you to give him your full attention. And
I can assure you I don't know the young man,
but just a little bit that I seen, he would
know if you're not giving him your full attention.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, you get distracted.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
You know, your emotion it wound up with the hustle
bustle living life.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
You get stressed out.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
You don't need to be stressed out when you're dealing
with your children, because then you take your emotions out
on them.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
And that's not what I wanted. Like all our good
energy and just stay positive.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Absolutely. And a friend of mine, she's helping with her
nephew and he has uh, he's in I think it's
the ninth grader this year. He has sensory sensory things
and uh, he does respond to energy. And she's always
(25:38):
been very careful, like if something was going on, yeah,
it didn't have to be that she was upset at
someone angry, It could just be something going on physically.
She's always been very intentional about making sure that when
she was around him, her energy, her vibe was was
calm because he would feed off of that. And so
(25:59):
I think that the point that you're making is well,
needed for our parents. You've written? Is it three books?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Swing?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
You've written three books? Now? Okay, now this is a
question for my authors and for.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
All your books children books they are currently yes they are.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
But now yeah, now, now I'm gonna pay I'm gonna
paint a stereotypical picture to ask this question.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
You are.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
A professional truck driver, and I know that I used
to date one. I know that takes a lot, uh
of a lot of discipline, though too you X are
for me? Then you swing to the golf? Would you
let me? You know you're analytical? How is it that
(26:56):
you're writing children books?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
You made time for what's important to you. He's very important.
That's why he's here with me right now.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
So but my point is, what how is it that
you zeroed in on children's book and so other types
of books that genre.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I don't know. I had been working on other things
as well. It's just the n'sok, children's books.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Since I have a child, and I have an older
daughter as well, it kind of stuck out with me
more and I feel like just reaching their community because
they are our future, was.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
My big thank you. That's the perfect answer, because what
I say to those who are inspired aspiring authors and
sometimes spoke so like where do I begin, As my
mentor would tell me about something else, I'm gonna apply
it here. Write what you know? That's right, right, what
(27:55):
you know? Now, you know, you've got a young man
that you're raising, you got an older daughter. Write what
you know. And because because I guess I was trying
to make it very stereotypical, here you are this strong
black man, but you're writing children's books and you're making
an impact, and I just think that's such a wonderful
way of a woman of faith. It's just such a
(28:16):
wonderful way that God is using you because you basically
are changing not only parenting, but changing how people view
black men because you're writing childredren's books. And that is
a wonderful gift to your son, to your daughter, to
your future grandchildren that hopefully you know, I don't think
(28:38):
your grandfather yet, but your future grandchildren that's coming in
great grandchildren. What a wonderful legacy that you were able
to take your gift and funnel it into children's books
and impact the world and education too. So that's just
a wonderful thing. William tell folks how they can stay
(29:00):
contact with you.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
You can read push me on all platforms William D
mcquarie on Facebook, on Instagram, mister dap and on TikTok
and I'm also as well.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So and what was the last one that you said, William? Three?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Three platform?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
That's but you can also google my name and the
books will pop up as well.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Alrighty then well, William, thank you so much for being
on top of times, and thank you for sharing our
young man with us, and thank you so much for
letting your passion for reading and writing focus on children's books,
because I think that is so important. As I said,
that's different, and I think we need to see your
(29:48):
young man. Your son needs to see it, and I
think other people need to see that we can do
and be anything, and that we don't have to be
in a mold because you are suing that here. You
are intelligent black man and you're writing, you're an author,
but you're writing children's books and that is so important.
And so I also say to my audience, if you
(30:09):
have a message that you want to get out, I
have a global audience that watches my show, Please consider
coming on Talk with Tars if you've got some content
that you're trying to get refined. I am an editor also,
and I'd be honored to help you get your project
to the general public. Again, this has been taught with Tarz.
(30:31):
My guess has been William mcquery and his bugly son.
And remember, before you go taking care of someone else,
please make sure you take care of yourself first. I
now
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