May 11, 2022 • 17 mins
Diabetes is something that has hit the African-American community hard but even harder with our toddlers. We are finding that more and more toddlers are being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, faster than we can find additional diabetic knowledge and supplies to support them. In this weeks episode, I will be taking you back to a day we will never forget, the day my 3 year old toddler was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. We will be discussing my true feelings and reaction to this day and how it affected not just her life or mines but our entire family and household. Since then we have been trying to cope with this diagnosis and adjust to our new normal.
To learn more about Ce’Onna Meilani Johnson, you can follow her here
https://www.instagram.com/ceonnameilani/?hl=en
If you like to learn more about Dr. Dionna, you can follow her here
https://drdionna.com
https://www.instagram.com/drdionnalifecoach
https://www.youtube.com/drdionnalifecoach
You can also purchase her two best selling books titled
Be Your Own Life Coach: How to Life Coach Yourself Into What You Want here https://drdionna.com/product/be-your-own-life-coach/
Where Did My Half Brother Come From here https://drdionna.com/product/be-your-own-life-coach/
To learn more about Ce’Onna Meilani Johnson, you can follow her here
https://www.instagram.com/ceonnameilani/?hl=en
If you like to learn more about Dr. Dionna, you can follow her here
https://drdionna.com
https://www.instagram.com/drdionnalifecoach
https://www.youtube.com/drdionnalifecoach
You can also purchase her two best selling books titled
Be Your Own Life Coach: How to Life Coach Yourself Into What You Want here https://drdionna.com/product/be-your-own-life-coach/
Where Did My Half Brother Come From here https://drdionna.com/product/be-your-own-life-coach/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is the FCB Radio Network,Come of the best personalities, and we're
a real tide. Legs online atFCB radio dot Com. FCB Welcome back,
(00:22):
guys. This is doctor Deanna HandcockJohnson, your host of Talking Tars
with Type one Diabetes. This isepisode three, part two of my reaction
to the day my daughter was diagnosedwith type one diabetes. At that moment,
(00:47):
I began to cry. Tear startedjust streaming down my face. I
looked at my husband. It wasthe same thing for him. Sianna didn't
know what was going on, andshe just started to cry because as we
were crying, and I remember lookingat him and asking him can she outgrow
this? And I just remember himjust looking at me and saying no.
(01:11):
And for me, I felt likethat was just the hardest thing to hear
along with the diagnosis. At thatmoment, it was so painful, guys,
Oh so painful. It almost bringsback to years just thinking about it
right now. And we really didn'tknow how to get through that moment.
And I just asked them could hebe sure? Was he sure? How
(01:34):
sure was he? And he waspretty sure. He didn't have any doubts,
just like her pediatrics didn't have anydoubts. I had dolls, a
husband had doubts, but they didn'thave doubts. So I said, can
I please get like another doctor tocome in here with you and confirm the
diagnosis based on what you see.So what they were seeing was the sugar
(01:55):
again in her blood dream and herurine and things like that. They just
knew she was that candidate as typeone, and they've seen other kids like
this. They do this all thetime, they, you know, see
kids like this every day. Soit was just like I was just want
to add it to the bunch,and we were just want to add it
to the lunch, and they justwas more sure than ever, and the
(02:19):
second doctor was too. So fromthere, eventually they checked us in and
we had to go upstairs to thechildren's department where they keep you for I
guess days. We didn't know howlong we were going to be there.
We ended up being in between fourand five days. I believe like we
were leaving, and it was afterthe fourth day, but still at the
beginning of the first fifth day.And we ended up leaving. And every
(02:42):
day while I was there, myhusband came back and forth to check on
our son, get them ready forschool, stuff like that, and we
had a puppy at the time.There was just one puppy, so my
baby stayed home with him with thepuppy, and he felt he was a
little older, so he felt alittle bit more secure. He wasn't a
young young kid, but he hadnever stayed home by so at all at
(03:04):
that point, let alone four orfive days. And every day we're telling
him what's going on and what's what. And I don't remember if we brought
him to the hospital or not,because I can't remember what the rules are.
I think my husband did bring himonce. And during this time,
you know, my kids are inthe industry, the agents were texting us
and emailing us and saying there's jobsshe gotta do and he got to do
this, And I'm like, okay, lord, what are you trying to
(03:25):
say? Do you want her tostill continue to be you know, in
the industry, you want her tostill be normal and work? And I
didn't respond for days to them,and I just told him we were at
the hospital to cancel everything. Butafter a while I started thinking, Okay,
God is telling me that she's gonnabe okay. She's gonna be normal,
(03:46):
not as normal as in a senseto where she doesn't have a diagnosis,
but she'll be pretty normal close toand that. Why would I stop
her from being successful and working becauseshe already was doing her thing and had
a name in the industry. Soand if God is sending jobs while we
(04:08):
are in the hospital dealing with this, it must be meant for her to
carry on. And so I willcontinue to carry on unless I see fit
otherwise or she can't do it physically, and things like that. And sometimes
she is sick to where she can'tmake a job or so, but sick
in a way like really just likea cold she had recently, but nothing's
sick in terms of her body.Like we've only had to rush her to
(04:30):
the hospital since then three years agomaybe once, and that was last fourth
of July weekend because she had anupset stomach that turned into possible keytones and
what she had keytones in her urine, which we would talk about in another
episode. That could have turned intoketo asidosis, and we'll also get into
(04:50):
that in future episodes. But shedidn't have keto asidosis. So after three
days of trying to bring her twodays of bringing it, trying to bring
her a fever down and getting everythingright, I had to rush her in
two children. But that was onceout of the three ye issues been diagnosed,
and so basically we were there forfour to five days and we had
(05:12):
to get every training you can thinkof, guys, And I'm thinking for
the first two of your days,me and my husband, I like news
in it. I'm sending him acrossthe street to get every sugar free snack
you can get, bring it back. He's struggling at the store. He's
calling and coming back and saying,I just can't even stop crying at the
store. I'm looking at the stuffand I'm thinking about it and I just
can't figure it out. I don'tknow where I'm going. And you got
you know, guys, we've allhad moments like that when we get this
(05:34):
news and we just stuck, stuckin time. I remember getting the news
about my dad passing, and Iremember coming home to an airport in DC
that I grew up in. Iknew everything about the area, and I
just remember being stuck in a cornerand not being able to say anything,
guys, anything like I couldn't evenmake my way to him to the runtal
(05:59):
car place I had frequent all thetime, so that moment that my husband
was having was very similar to that. So eventually, after the second or
third the third day, I wouldsay, I started just tapping out of
my feelings and all that pain andanguish that I felt, and I decided,
I'm going to get it together.What do you need? Okay?
I knew. I knew that theyweren't. They were not going to let
(06:21):
us out of the hospital unless theyactually got it together. And I actually
took in what they were trying totell us, and they wanted to train
us on everything we needed to know. So they gave us handbooks and you
know, for the first couple ofdays, so many people were coming in
as they were all cheerful, hobbyand you know, welcome, We're so
(06:44):
happy you're here. And you know, I know you didn't choose this lifestyle,
but the lifestyle chose you. Andthat right there was something for me
that clicked. You didn't choose thelifestyle, but it chose you, and
that helped me to get through.I don't know who told me that,
but they were just saying, you'repart of the family now, the community,
the diabetic community, all these thingsthat I didn't feel I was a
(07:08):
part of or wanted to be apart of, or I'm still in denial,
and I'm like, Okay, oncewe get out here, I'm gonna
do more research. I'm gonna dowhat I gotta do. I'm gonna make
sure I figure out it is thisreally real? Things like that, And
so for now, what I rememberdoing is just tapping out of everything I
was feeling and getting my head inthe game of what does my baby need
(07:29):
to survive to live? And ifyou think about things like this in that
sense, guys, you can getthrough any mom who just going through it,
headed to the hospital, not sure, just got diagnosed, know that
I'm on the other side of it, me and my daughter, and you
(07:51):
can get through it. Okay.I'm here to answer people questions. I'm
here to bring people on for theirown comments and things like that. You
can also follow us on our YouTube. You can also just continue to stay
in tune with us in terms ofwhat we bring to the table. Every
week, we're trying to have anew episode that is in lightening, enlightening
(08:13):
and informative to you guys. Sothat you can understand that this journey does
not have to be alone. Andso back into this episode, we actually
started getting all the training. Wehad everybody come in and talk to us,
sociologists, psychologists, everybody they needit. And they spent days taking
(08:35):
the baby, like taking Siana around. She was out to draw pictures.
They was taking her out of theroom while we got the important stuff.
We were tested with the needles ourselves. They actually the fingerprickers, showing us
the routine or what it looks likefor a type one diabetic, what she
needed on a day in the dayout. And that one of the things
I want to make sure I tellyou guys is that as a type one
diabetic, you can eat what youwant to eat as long as you have
(08:58):
insolent for it. You should notbe eating things that it's not as healthy,
that's one thing, but you shouldbe able to eat, for the
most part, what you want aslong as it is healthy. As a
toadler. They told me that Sianacan eat anything she wanted, and they
didn't want her to choose because shealready had only a few things that she
(09:20):
like on just one hand. Sothey said, if she wants chicken nuggets.
We'll get her some chicken nuggets.But I didn't like the idea that
they were giving her chicken nuggets andthey were giving her so much insulin.
They started, Oh when we gotup stairs, guys, that night,
they started just pumping her with insulinand needles in her. She went from
not being too afraid of needles tobeing scared. And I'm thinking in that
one day, twenty four hours,she had to have six to ten different
(09:46):
needles. Those is just of insulininside pump inside her. And remember we
didn't have the insulin pump back then, because you have to wait a few
days after you've been diagmos to getan insulin pump. Okay, And so
we'll talk about that as well infuture episodes, Like you have to go
through the stages of getting your fingerpricked every two hours, and needles anytime
(10:09):
you want food in your leg areaswhere we did it. One of the
things that they told us they dois to let Siana be a part of
the experience and choose what she wantedto do, like where she wanted her
finger pricked the next time, whichfingers she wanted pricked, where she wanted
to insulin in her legs. Theycan give it in the arms, but
she was just really open to thethighs. And I just saw my baby
(10:33):
go through so much, guys thatI was so scared. I just wanted
to hold her. And after somany needles was given to her, I
ended up. I remember having amoment and I just stopped everything, and
I stopped everybody. I said,listen, I know she needs this.
I'm still getting used to the idea, but you guys have pricked her so
many times. And if she can'teat a certain thing, don't give her
(10:56):
that type of food. If yougotta give her insolent, because in my
head, I'm thinking y'all letting hereat whatever she want. Just kept giving
her insuluences insulin, and I'm notunderstanding the process as I do now.
And so I got to a pointwhere I was just like, y'all can't
prick my baby no more. Somebodygot to bring some numb and cream in
here. And I remember just gettingup and I said, I don't care.
(11:18):
She's in pain and it's nothing Ican do. Please get me some
numb and cream. Well, mom, you want to get her used to
it, because you want her tohave the experience and not have the fake
ideal of what it looks like toget insulin and this and that, and
I said, I don't care atthis moment. This is what my baby
needs. Will do all of thatstuff you're saying as time go on.
This is new to all of us. And it was like, well,
(11:39):
we gotta wait for the numbing creamto numb and then we'll come back.
It is what it is, that'swhat I need, and I'm gonna need
you to get it done for mybaby. Otherwise you're not putting any more
insulin into her. And to allmy parents that's listening. Sometimes you just
have to really do what you haveto do. Guys. You really have
to go full length and shut godown that are hurting your baby, even
(12:01):
though you know they have her bestinterests and they have the best intentions to
make her healthy and better. Itstill didn't look like that, It didn't
feel like that. It was new. You know, everybody else was aware
of where we were going and whathas happened, what was happening, all
the doctors, the team, thepeople, the nurses, but we didn't.
And that was so painful for usto see. So as day three,
get on, we start to getinto all this training day before we
(12:24):
go through it. They want tomake sure her numbers come down. They
want to make sure we understand thatwe have to prick her. They want
to make sure we know how toput an insulin in her leg. It
was just so many things that wasgoing Guys, it was just so much,
so much so to all my newlydiagnosed families and moms, I know
what you're going through. No,you can get through it. Know that
there's people listening, there's people hereto support you. Know that it's going
(12:48):
to be okay. And you havebabies nowadays that are diagnosed at five months,
guys, five months. Can youimagine having to put insulin in your
five months old baby. This isone of the reasons I was afraid of
having more kids, because I knewI wanted Sianna to have a sibling,
but I was afraid. Guys.I was like, I can't do this,
I can't do this. It's justso much with her, and I
(13:11):
felt I was going to put everythingin me to make sure she stayed alive
and that she was able to continueto be the happy girl she was,
especially knowing that I had lost mydad to that part, like some years
before, and that had still lingeredon, and I wish that I could
have done anything more than what Idid to save his life, and that
(13:31):
didn't happen. So I knew Iwas gonna give my baby everything that she
needed, whether that was my education. I bought books, family bought books,
they sent books, they came out, they helped me, they helped
us, and we just went throughit for a while, and I remember
being just devastated and depressed almost ayear. I felt like I was normal
(13:56):
at any other area in my life, but I knew something was still off
and wrong, and I had beenfeeling that was the case the situation with
her, like knowing that my babycouldn't nothing could change, and so I
just remember dealing with it, andevery time somebody would ask a question,
I would cry. And I thinkwe talked about this in one of the
episodes with Sean. It's like whenshe got her pump and people would ask
(14:16):
about it. I would be intears and she would tell him whatever I
told her to tell him, becausefor a while we wasn't going to talk
about it in public because I didn'tknow how to express myself and talk about
it without crying or people not knowingwhat it. You know, what we
were talking about, because I rememberwe had went to the grocery store the
week before she was diagnosed, andthen a couple of weeks afterwards because that
(14:37):
grocer store is near her daycare,and I remember her as saying, MoMA,
can I get this? And canI get that? And I'm like,
yeah, girl, get what youwant, you know kind of thing.
And then once she was diagnosed,I remember having this moment and was
like, no, you cannot getthis. You can't get this, and
she was like, Mom, butyou know, you gotta just stick my
finger, you know, how togive me a needle. And so saying
(14:58):
these things in public was just reallylike kind of embarrassing at the time because
of the fact that they probably thoughtI was abusing my baby and I wasn't.
So parents, I understand what you'regoing through with that. The terminology,
they taught us all that stuff,talk us what to say, how
to say things, and then Istarted like learning more as we went.
But eventually, on day five wewas let go. We was out of
(15:18):
there, okay, and I'm small, it was day five, but it
was actually later or something like that, like they really had to make sure.
And I might be confusing that whenwe went to the hospital last year,
because we went to the hospital onfourth uh, like I said,
and we were putting the same roomthat she was diagnosed. Guys, it
(15:39):
was just like a moment and Iwas just like, I can't believe this.
And we started reminiscing about when shewas there and what things looked like
and whatever. And we were onlythere for twenty four hours at this last
appointment, and I remember them lettingus go late at night, So I
think that's not the case. Ithink we were leaving, like I said
earlier, first thing on the fifthday that morning, and we couldn't wait
to get home. But guys,I was so out of it that I
(16:03):
couldn't even get out of bed thenext day. I just felt really,
really depressed. And my baby cameand woke me up the next morning.
She said, Mommy, you knowyou gotta check my finger. You know
you gotta get up, And Ijust just like, God, if anyone
else can be diagnosed with this,this strong little girl's just brave and she's
taking it. And here I amstuck in the bed in my own head
(16:26):
and feelings, and I need toget up and be there for my baby.
She got up. I can't too. And I felt like that was
just the start of something new forus, and how we went from there
into just working together as a familyand learning to change food habits and things
like that. And we'll have alot more of all of this on this
(16:48):
podcast, guys, as you cansee my voices going out a little bit,
sucher a little water. I havebeen talking too long at this point,
guys, but I'm so glad youhear guys. Please download, say,
follow, share, come back.We want to talk to you,
guys, want to hear from you. We want to make sure you're listening
to everything we have to share.I thank you for everything. I think
(17:14):
we're gonna end here with that,and thanks again for listening to talking tallers
with Type one diabetes. You willsee you, guys in our next episode.
Thank you. The FCB Radium Network, first class broadcasting worldwide,
This is the FCB Radio Network,Come of the best personalities, and we're
a real tide. Legs online atFCB radio dot Com. FCB Welcome back,
(00:22):
guys. This is doctor Deanna HandcockJohnson, your host of Talking Tars
with Type one Diabetes. This isepisode three, part two of my reaction
to the day my daughter was diagnosedwith type one diabetes. At that moment,
(00:47):
I began to cry. Tear startedjust streaming down my face. I
looked at my husband. It wasthe same thing for him. Sianna didn't
know what was going on, andshe just started to cry because as we
were crying, and I remember lookingat him and asking him can she outgrow
this? And I just remember himjust looking at me and saying no.
(01:11):
And for me, I felt likethat was just the hardest thing to hear
along with the diagnosis. At thatmoment, it was so painful, guys,
Oh so painful. It almost bringsback to years just thinking about it
right now. And we really didn'tknow how to get through that moment.
And I just asked them could hebe sure? Was he sure? How
(01:34):
sure was he? And he waspretty sure. He didn't have any doubts,
just like her pediatrics didn't have anydoubts. I had dolls, a
husband had doubts, but they didn'thave doubts. So I said, can
I please get like another doctor tocome in here with you and confirm the
diagnosis based on what you see.So what they were seeing was the sugar
(01:55):
again in her blood dream and herurine and things like that. They just
knew she was that candidate as typeone, and they've seen other kids like
this. They do this all thetime, they, you know, see
kids like this every day. Soit was just like I was just want
to add it to the bunch,and we were just want to add it
to the lunch, and they justwas more sure than ever, and the
(02:19):
second doctor was too. So fromthere, eventually they checked us in and
we had to go upstairs to thechildren's department where they keep you for I
guess days. We didn't know howlong we were going to be there.
We ended up being in between fourand five days. I believe like we
were leaving, and it was afterthe fourth day, but still at the
beginning of the first fifth day.And we ended up leaving. And every
(02:42):
day while I was there, myhusband came back and forth to check on
our son, get them ready forschool, stuff like that, and we
had a puppy at the time.There was just one puppy, so my
baby stayed home with him with thepuppy, and he felt he was a
little older, so he felt alittle bit more secure. He wasn't a
young young kid, but he hadnever stayed home by so at all at
(03:04):
that point, let alone four orfive days. And every day we're telling
him what's going on and what's what. And I don't remember if we brought
him to the hospital or not,because I can't remember what the rules are.
I think my husband did bring himonce. And during this time,
you know, my kids are inthe industry, the agents were texting us
and emailing us and saying there's jobsshe gotta do and he got to do
this, And I'm like, okay, lord, what are you trying to
(03:25):
say? Do you want her tostill continue to be you know, in
the industry, you want her tostill be normal and work? And I
didn't respond for days to them,and I just told him we were at
the hospital to cancel everything. Butafter a while I started thinking, Okay,
God is telling me that she's gonnabe okay. She's gonna be normal,
(03:46):
not as normal as in a senseto where she doesn't have a diagnosis,
but she'll be pretty normal close toand that. Why would I stop
her from being successful and working becauseshe already was doing her thing and had
a name in the industry. Soand if God is sending jobs while we
(04:08):
are in the hospital dealing with this, it must be meant for her to
carry on. And so I willcontinue to carry on unless I see fit
otherwise or she can't do it physically, and things like that. And sometimes
she is sick to where she can'tmake a job or so, but sick
in a way like really just likea cold she had recently, but nothing's
sick in terms of her body.Like we've only had to rush her to
(04:30):
the hospital since then three years agomaybe once, and that was last fourth
of July weekend because she had anupset stomach that turned into possible keytones and
what she had keytones in her urine, which we would talk about in another
episode. That could have turned intoketo asidosis, and we'll also get into
(04:50):
that in future episodes. But shedidn't have keto asidosis. So after three
days of trying to bring her twodays of bringing it, trying to bring
her a fever down and getting everythingright, I had to rush her in
two children. But that was onceout of the three ye issues been diagnosed,
and so basically we were there forfour to five days and we had
(05:12):
to get every training you can thinkof, guys, And I'm thinking for
the first two of your days,me and my husband, I like news
in it. I'm sending him acrossthe street to get every sugar free snack
you can get, bring it back. He's struggling at the store. He's
calling and coming back and saying,I just can't even stop crying at the
store. I'm looking at the stuffand I'm thinking about it and I just
can't figure it out. I don'tknow where I'm going. And you got
you know, guys, we've allhad moments like that when we get this
(05:34):
news and we just stuck, stuckin time. I remember getting the news
about my dad passing, and Iremember coming home to an airport in DC
that I grew up in. Iknew everything about the area, and I
just remember being stuck in a cornerand not being able to say anything,
guys, anything like I couldn't evenmake my way to him to the runtal
(05:59):
car place I had frequent all thetime, so that moment that my husband
was having was very similar to that. So eventually, after the second or
third the third day, I wouldsay, I started just tapping out of
my feelings and all that pain andanguish that I felt, and I decided,
I'm going to get it together.What do you need? Okay?
I knew. I knew that theyweren't. They were not going to let
(06:21):
us out of the hospital unless theyactually got it together. And I actually
took in what they were trying totell us, and they wanted to train
us on everything we needed to know. So they gave us handbooks and you
know, for the first couple ofdays, so many people were coming in
as they were all cheerful, hobbyand you know, welcome, We're so
(06:44):
happy you're here. And you know, I know you didn't choose this lifestyle,
but the lifestyle chose you. Andthat right there was something for me
that clicked. You didn't choose thelifestyle, but it chose you, and
that helped me to get through.I don't know who told me that,
but they were just saying, you'repart of the family now, the community,
the diabetic community, all these thingsthat I didn't feel I was a
(07:08):
part of or wanted to be apart of, or I'm still in denial,
and I'm like, Okay, oncewe get out here, I'm gonna
do more research. I'm gonna dowhat I gotta do. I'm gonna make
sure I figure out it is thisreally real? Things like that, And
so for now, what I rememberdoing is just tapping out of everything I
was feeling and getting my head inthe game of what does my baby need
(07:29):
to survive to live? And ifyou think about things like this in that
sense, guys, you can getthrough any mom who just going through it,
headed to the hospital, not sure, just got diagnosed, know that
I'm on the other side of it, me and my daughter, and you
(07:51):
can get through it. Okay.I'm here to answer people questions. I'm
here to bring people on for theirown comments and things like that. You
can also follow us on our YouTube. You can also just continue to stay
in tune with us in terms ofwhat we bring to the table. Every
week, we're trying to have anew episode that is in lightening, enlightening
(08:13):
and informative to you guys. Sothat you can understand that this journey does
not have to be alone. Andso back into this episode, we actually
started getting all the training. Wehad everybody come in and talk to us,
sociologists, psychologists, everybody they needit. And they spent days taking
(08:35):
the baby, like taking Siana around. She was out to draw pictures.
They was taking her out of theroom while we got the important stuff.
We were tested with the needles ourselves. They actually the fingerprickers, showing us
the routine or what it looks likefor a type one diabetic, what she
needed on a day in the dayout. And that one of the things
I want to make sure I tellyou guys is that as a type one
diabetic, you can eat what youwant to eat as long as you have
(08:58):
insolent for it. You should notbe eating things that it's not as healthy,
that's one thing, but you shouldbe able to eat, for the
most part, what you want aslong as it is healthy. As a
toadler. They told me that Sianacan eat anything she wanted, and they
didn't want her to choose because shealready had only a few things that she
(09:20):
like on just one hand. Sothey said, if she wants chicken nuggets.
We'll get her some chicken nuggets.But I didn't like the idea that
they were giving her chicken nuggets andthey were giving her so much insulin.
They started, Oh when we gotup stairs, guys, that night,
they started just pumping her with insulinand needles in her. She went from
not being too afraid of needles tobeing scared. And I'm thinking in that
one day, twenty four hours,she had to have six to ten different
(09:46):
needles. Those is just of insulininside pump inside her. And remember we
didn't have the insulin pump back then, because you have to wait a few
days after you've been diagmos to getan insulin pump. Okay, And so
we'll talk about that as well infuture episodes, Like you have to go
through the stages of getting your fingerpricked every two hours, and needles anytime
(10:09):
you want food in your leg areaswhere we did it. One of the
things that they told us they dois to let Siana be a part of
the experience and choose what she wantedto do, like where she wanted her
finger pricked the next time, whichfingers she wanted pricked, where she wanted
to insulin in her legs. Theycan give it in the arms, but
she was just really open to thethighs. And I just saw my baby
(10:33):
go through so much, guys thatI was so scared. I just wanted
to hold her. And after somany needles was given to her, I
ended up. I remember having amoment and I just stopped everything, and
I stopped everybody. I said,listen, I know she needs this.
I'm still getting used to the idea, but you guys have pricked her so
many times. And if she can'teat a certain thing, don't give her
(10:56):
that type of food. If yougotta give her insolent, because in my
head, I'm thinking y'all letting hereat whatever she want. Just kept giving
her insuluences insulin, and I'm notunderstanding the process as I do now.
And so I got to a pointwhere I was just like, y'all can't
prick my baby no more. Somebodygot to bring some numb and cream in
here. And I remember just gettingup and I said, I don't care.
(11:18):
She's in pain and it's nothing Ican do. Please get me some
numb and cream. Well, mom, you want to get her used to
it, because you want her tohave the experience and not have the fake
ideal of what it looks like toget insulin and this and that, and
I said, I don't care atthis moment. This is what my baby
needs. Will do all of thatstuff you're saying as time go on.
This is new to all of us. And it was like, well,
(11:39):
we gotta wait for the numbing creamto numb and then we'll come back.
It is what it is, that'swhat I need, and I'm gonna need
you to get it done for mybaby. Otherwise you're not putting any more
insulin into her. And to allmy parents that's listening. Sometimes you just
have to really do what you haveto do. Guys. You really have
to go full length and shut godown that are hurting your baby, even
(12:01):
though you know they have her bestinterests and they have the best intentions to
make her healthy and better. Itstill didn't look like that, It didn't
feel like that. It was new. You know, everybody else was aware
of where we were going and whathas happened, what was happening, all
the doctors, the team, thepeople, the nurses, but we didn't.
And that was so painful for usto see. So as day three,
get on, we start to getinto all this training day before we
(12:24):
go through it. They want tomake sure her numbers come down. They
want to make sure we understand thatwe have to prick her. They want
to make sure we know how toput an insulin in her leg. It
was just so many things that wasgoing Guys, it was just so much,
so much so to all my newlydiagnosed families and moms, I know
what you're going through. No,you can get through it. Know that
there's people listening, there's people hereto support you. Know that it's going
(12:48):
to be okay. And you havebabies nowadays that are diagnosed at five months,
guys, five months. Can youimagine having to put insulin in your
five months old baby. This isone of the reasons I was afraid of
having more kids, because I knewI wanted Sianna to have a sibling,
but I was afraid. Guys.I was like, I can't do this,
I can't do this. It's justso much with her, and I
(13:11):
felt I was going to put everythingin me to make sure she stayed alive
and that she was able to continueto be the happy girl she was,
especially knowing that I had lost mydad to that part, like some years
before, and that had still lingeredon, and I wish that I could
have done anything more than what Idid to save his life, and that
(13:31):
didn't happen. So I knew Iwas gonna give my baby everything that she
needed, whether that was my education. I bought books, family bought books,
they sent books, they came out, they helped me, they helped
us, and we just went throughit for a while, and I remember
being just devastated and depressed almost ayear. I felt like I was normal
(13:56):
at any other area in my life, but I knew something was still off
and wrong, and I had beenfeeling that was the case the situation with
her, like knowing that my babycouldn't nothing could change, and so I
just remember dealing with it, andevery time somebody would ask a question,
I would cry. And I thinkwe talked about this in one of the
episodes with Sean. It's like whenshe got her pump and people would ask
(14:16):
about it. I would be intears and she would tell him whatever I
told her to tell him, becausefor a while we wasn't going to talk
about it in public because I didn'tknow how to express myself and talk about
it without crying or people not knowingwhat it. You know, what we
were talking about, because I rememberwe had went to the grocery store the
week before she was diagnosed, andthen a couple of weeks afterwards because that
(14:37):
grocer store is near her daycare,and I remember her as saying, MoMA,
can I get this? And canI get that? And I'm like,
yeah, girl, get what youwant, you know kind of thing.
And then once she was diagnosed,I remember having this moment and was
like, no, you cannot getthis. You can't get this, and
she was like, Mom, butyou know, you gotta just stick my
finger, you know, how togive me a needle. And so saying
(14:58):
these things in public was just reallylike kind of embarrassing at the time because
of the fact that they probably thoughtI was abusing my baby and I wasn't.
So parents, I understand what you'regoing through with that. The terminology,
they taught us all that stuff,talk us what to say, how
to say things, and then Istarted like learning more as we went.
But eventually, on day five wewas let go. We was out of
(15:18):
there, okay, and I'm small, it was day five, but it
was actually later or something like that, like they really had to make sure.
And I might be confusing that whenwe went to the hospital last year,
because we went to the hospital onfourth uh, like I said,
and we were putting the same roomthat she was diagnosed. Guys, it
(15:39):
was just like a moment and Iwas just like, I can't believe this.
And we started reminiscing about when shewas there and what things looked like
and whatever. And we were onlythere for twenty four hours at this last
appointment, and I remember them lettingus go late at night, So I
think that's not the case. Ithink we were leaving, like I said
earlier, first thing on the fifthday that morning, and we couldn't wait
to get home. But guys,I was so out of it that I
(16:03):
couldn't even get out of bed thenext day. I just felt really,
really depressed. And my baby cameand woke me up the next morning.
She said, Mommy, you knowyou gotta check my finger. You know
you gotta get up, And Ijust just like, God, if anyone
else can be diagnosed with this,this strong little girl's just brave and she's
taking it. And here I amstuck in the bed in my own head
(16:26):
and feelings, and I need toget up and be there for my baby.
She got up. I can't too. And I felt like that was
just the start of something new forus, and how we went from there
into just working together as a familyand learning to change food habits and things
like that. And we'll have alot more of all of this on this
(16:48):
podcast, guys, as you cansee my voices going out a little bit,
sucher a little water. I havebeen talking too long at this point,
guys, but I'm so glad youhear guys. Please download, say,
follow, share, come back.We want to talk to you,
guys, want to hear from you. We want to make sure you're listening
to everything we have to share.I thank you for everything. I think
(17:14):
we're gonna end here with that,and thanks again for listening to talking tallers
with Type one diabetes. You willsee you, guys in our next episode.
Thank you. The FCB Radium Network, first class broadcasting worldwide,
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