June 8, 2025 • 32 mins
What and why can be disempowering and initiate and emotional roller coaster when used incorrectly.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, it's Terarah Crazy Beginner series. I'm Dorothy, and
today I'm answering the problem with what or why type queries.
I see them just failing time and time again for
a variety of reasons. Yet, having said that, there is
(00:22):
value in understanding why a situation is recycling for you.
That is a different question to why doesn't somebody like me? Course,
there's this unquantifiable and I want you to understand what
that means. If you're asking why a person is choosing
to do or not do something, especially in the area
(00:45):
of why don't they like me, they may not be
a why. And this is just a reality check for
pretty much everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
In general.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Others are not so focused on you in their own
minds game that they have a clear line between their behavior,
their lack of interest, whatever, and your awareness of them.
And I think that's a really big powerful thing to
ask and understand. If you're asking why something went wrong
(01:19):
and you're trying to look at that via another person's
thought process, it's unquantifiable.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
They're never telling you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You're never going to know unless you are looking for
a solution, in which case it becomes what can we
do to resolve this? But that can be pointless either
if there's no chance or option to resolve it, So
the word we becomes problematic. So these two questions need
to be looked at with a lot of care and
(01:45):
attention if you want answers that are accurate, informing and empowering.
I've got to say something else here too. I think
sometimes you just open yourself up to be shot down
if you're not care and it's you shooting yourself down
because you never know really what the other person is thinking,
another person's mind, don't even try to look think about
(02:08):
your own mind.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You go to a party, or.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You go to a bar, or you go to a cafe,
you meet three or four people. There are those that
are attractive, there are those that you talk to and
enjoy your conversation with, and you walk away from there
and there's nobody of interest to you on another level,
there's no chemistry, or you're just not into it that night,
whatever it might be. You don't go away thinking I
(02:32):
don't like that person, I'm not attracted to that person because.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You might look at somebody and think, oh gosh, that
but ugly, and you know you're not going to be
attracted to them, and that's the end of your thought process,
done and dusted. A week later, you don't even remember them.
So I think it's really important to get a clear
handle on the other people and what their thought process are,
what their emotions are, what their feelings are, and how
(02:58):
very rare it is for them to be completely directed
at you, especially if it's a crush, especially if it's
a coworker. Most people are focused on another person only
while they're interacting with them, and when they're not interacting
with them, they're gone unless there's an argument or a
problem in play, and then that is what you want
to explore. You want to explore the problem, not the
(03:20):
other person who cares. You don't care, and that's your
problem because you're sitting there and asking questions. Is if
they care about nothing but what you're thinking and what
you're feeling and what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And none of this is true. So if we back
all of that up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And we relax a little bit, and the young you are,
by the way, the more powerful this will be for
you to learn right now today. One of the things
to look at for why, it's only if you're looking
for a solution to a problem. So why did my
bank not give me the loan? Isn't a why? Because
(03:59):
you know if they didn't give it to one, they
would have either told you or too. You knew you
were running on the edge when it came to the
ability to repay that loan. Here are things we know
perfectly well. Why if you meet somebody and there's no chemistry,
there's no why, there's just an absence of something, and
here we go. We can't read an absence of something.
An absence of something doesn't have reasoning, thought or all
(04:20):
the rest of it. It's just not there. If you
are in a relationship at work and you've got some
problems around that, you could ask why are we having
why are we having this problem?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But really you need to ask why am I not?
Why are we? Or why are they? Those? Why are we?
And why are they?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Just don't exist? They might be just being who they are.
There may be an absence of reason, isn't that true?
Think about that just for a second. If you get
a person who's clipped, who's impatient, they may not have
any thoughts about you at all. It might be just
who they are. They might just get annoyed with you
if you ask a lot of questions, but it's not
alike dislike of you. And as soon as it comes
(05:02):
always down to do they like me, don't they like me?
What are they thinking about me? You might need to
really reframe that or you're just going to drive yourself
crazy because mostly you won't get it correctly. You won't
get it right. You could think somebody doesn't like you
when they just don't care about you. And that's more
than it's probably the majority, because we all are focused
(05:23):
on what we've focused on. I want you to think about,
you know, if it's somebody you don't really know, somebody
you've interacted with. How often do you think about coworkers
as soon as you're not interacting with them, or as
soon as you don't need something from them or need
to give them something. How often do you think about
them really when you are even doing the most mundane work,
(05:45):
when you're focused on that, or you're talking to a
customer on the phone or whatever it might be. Who
else exists for you through that period of time if
you're focused on them? These are big questions because why
does somebody do something? Real challenge? Most of the time
you can ask I've got kids, you can say why.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Did you do that? And I go, I don't know.
And you'll see adults getting really angry about that, and
the truth is that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ask yourself why you do a lot of things you
do and some of it you'll go, oh, because I
like it. It's a year, but why why do you
like it? And it gets awkward at that moment you
don't know. It's some things you can be very clear
about with that. I like my job because I like
my friend because and most of the time it comes
down to indefinables when I like my friend. Sometimes there
(06:33):
are people who can sit there and say, we have
these amazing conversations, and I can open myself completely to them,
and then I can say to them, but why, and
suddenly they're at a bit of a loss because it's
a connection. It's something deeper than language. And a lot
of cases and that's the same if there's an active
dislike for somebody. An active dislike always has a why.
(06:55):
I don't like that person because or I don't like
the way they do this, if it's a job or
something more superficial or a behavior.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But the vast majority. It's just there's just nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
We don't have that strength of feeling for or against
the majority of things in our lives on a daily basis.
So when we are going to ask why for something
you are looking for or I hope you're looking for
a foundation that brought about a circumstance, and it won't
be about another person. It can be about a dynamic,
(07:32):
and a dynamic is an interaction between two people.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
This might be a.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Real shock for you, but of all the people you meet,
probably a quarter of them are just not going to
like you. Then more than two thirds of the people
you meet, and maybe even more than that, aren't going
to care about you one way or the other. And
then there's a time little group of people that you
have commonality with, that you like each other or you
can be acquaintances with. And then there are people who
(07:59):
have no need for that, and they're not introverts. This
introvert things like blah blah. I like spending time alone.
I like spending time and nature. In fact, I'm doing
that right now. I'm looking at this beautiful sea and
the beautiful beach, and I'm perfectly comfortable by myself.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And then maybe in an hour or two.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Time to time, I'll think, no, you know what, I'm
going to pop over and see my friend. I feel
like doing that, Or I'll invite somebody down to dinner
because I feel like doing that. So, when you are
looking for foundational reasons, if you, for example, stay at home,
sit on social media, watch hours and hours and hours
(08:35):
of TikTok and read note and whatever else you might
be doing, and then you go draw your cards and think,
you know, the next day or in an hour or two,
I'm pretty lonely, why can't I meet somebody? Well, you
know why, So it becomes a pointless question. You know
exactly why you're sitting at home and you're on TikTok
or you're on read note because I wouldn't be anywhere else,
(08:57):
to be honest me, we maybe and on a social
media app. Or you're playing games, what is it, sugar Crush,
candy crush, whatever, war games, any games, if you're role
playing games RPGs, this is why you're not getting on
in life. This is why you're not achieving goals. This
is why you're not doing things in your evening. If
(09:18):
you're patrolling dating sites, this is why you're not meeting
people and so on and so on and so on.
So you know why. So that's another step away. If
you know why something is happening, then you need to
shift that to a solution. Right, what can I do
about it? What's my best next move? And if it's
something you're uncomfortable with but you know it's right, you
(09:40):
do it. You know you're not going to get a
partnership with them dropping through your roof and into your
couch right beside you and saying, hey there, honey, you're
looking pretty hard. I think we could be good together.
It's just not going to happen. And so it doesn't
happen like that with dating apps either. People will spend
months chitter chattering to some person who's chitter chattering to
(10:02):
twenty other people and going out and going to the
pub and enjoying their life because their dating app is
what they do at the end of the day, where
it's what they do for an hour a day. And
so if you're spending a lot of time on that
looking looking put a timer on it. It's not that
you shouldn't do any of these things. So I don't
want to give the wrong impression. Although real life isn't
(10:22):
happening in a box called your phone. You need to
set a time limit and think, right, what is it
I want to achieve today or this week? If you
want to get a painting, going, write an article, go
out and spend time with friends, then you need to
limit the time that you're spending in an artificial relationship.
And even if it's worth friends, trust me, it's artificial.
(10:43):
When I left Facebook and some three or four thousand friends,
and I knew out of those there is a tiny
amount that we're friends. Most of them were professionally interested
in what I do.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And then of course.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
When I did that, of course I had family on
their and I've had all these people going, oh, but
I've got friends, and I've got family on Facebook, and
that's where we connect.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
And all there is.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
My answers are no not I would like or comment
on my sister's posts, and I've got plenty of those
sisters they would like or comment on mine. My brother
might come in once now and again, my son would
come in, my daughter might click on something. It's not
a relationship, it's not a communication. But what I did
find is we weren't talking, We weren't actually physically talking
(11:26):
to each other, not even a live chat very often.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So I took out.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Facebook, and about a month or so went by, and
next thing, boop, I get a message on my phone
from my sister saying, hey, how's it going. And then
I answer, that didn't happen on Facebook ever, it just
didn't happen, and we would I have conversations with loads
of people by a messenger, which was the first thing
(11:51):
I got rid of. Loads of people still do. They're
not my friends, they're not my family. I don't live
my life every day with them. If I want to
go down to the beach or go fishing, I'm not
going to ring them up say hey, can I come
and grab you?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Let's go for a coffee? Can't happen.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So that means I have an artificial relationship with those people.
So if we draw all of that back with the
what or the why, why needs to have a foundational
structure to it. Say you're having an argument with somebody,
or you've got in particular why is the most why
will ever be is if you are looking at cyclic behaviors,
(12:26):
why do I blah blah blah, Because you may genuinely
not know or not have an awareness or consciousness of
it or an understanding of it, and that's powerful why
and then if you're going to do that, I recommend
having a look at not a card or an underlying
card or a past or a present. That's a retrospective reading.
(12:49):
So it means you're looking back into the past, but
it's going to be as a series of a past
is going to be perhaps an experiential aspect.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I e my gadly me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So I suffer a little bit of anxiety around romance
and relationships or relationships in general. My dad leave me,
my mum left me. I've had friends leave me, and
now I just sort of think everybody's going to leave me.
So I'm insecure. Please note that's all that is. I'm insecure.
It's not trauma. You're insecure. What can I do about it?
Becomes a second question, But you draw the cards on that.
(13:22):
So here's the experience I've had. These experience are yeah,
that makes sense, and it should make sense, and then
it becomes what would be the next best thing to practice?
Because you practice overcoming these things, you don't draw a
card and go, oh, that's my soul talking. Those are
all kind of rubbishy spreads. To be honest, people do
(13:44):
them all the time and do nothing with them. So
what's the next best thing that I can practice? And
it might be socializing yourself, It might be seeing a therapist,
by the way, it might be anything but getting a reading,
because a reading doesn't change your life. How often have
you been told something or thought you interpreted something and
(14:04):
you're reading and then followed it through.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Because I'll tell.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You something, If you think you interpreted something and you're reading,
you look back and went, oh, yeah, that was really
bang on. It changed nothing. All you're doing is retrospectively
looking at a layout and fitting it into what happened.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
In your day or your month or your week.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
If you go to a reader and they read something
for you and they say, hey, this is about six
seven months down the track and you live that new
experience that that's a completely different thing to a self
fulfilling prophecy where you've looked at something and they generated
it or looked at something and then fitted it into
how your day went. Because it's easy to do that,
it's what we can do. It's mental gymnastics. It's pretty
(14:44):
simple for humans. So your why is foundational it's going
to start with something experiential that bought that about, and
then you may want to look at what's my habit here,
what's my attitude? I would look at attitude, and if
you're using the terror of asterisms, go to the archetype.
Some of them are pretty in your face. I'm not
gonna pull any punches about that. But when you go
(15:05):
to the archetype, it's in that query, it's not who
you are as a person. And we need to perhaps
move past this all or nothing mental attitude. If you're
going to use Tarry, there's no such thing as all
or nothing. There's no such thing as good or bad.
There's no such thing as you shall know. And so
we're looking at complexities. So that why part.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Of the why.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Here's my experiential why. What attitude did I develop? And
that's the archetypal why. So you've got an experiential why,
an archetypal why. And then over the years you will
have practiced and practiced and practiced that. I don't want
to get hurt, so I'll just stay a little bit distant.
So I don't want to get hurt, So I'll fight
with this person to we break down that's not a
(15:45):
real thing. That's just a social media construct. Most people
that are really scared of being rejected or abandoned through
life experiences and developing an attitude, maintain their distance to
start with, so they can have fractious, toxic relationships the
upper side of that where they could become clinging or
(16:07):
super controlling. So that's what the third card might be.
So we've got an experiential why, we've got an attitude
and or why, and then we have got a behavioral why,
a what. Sorry, the behavior becomes the what? And so
what behavior do I engage in that makes this worse?
(16:27):
And that's what you're looking at. Because we're built up
of parts. I've just finished the training, if is, we're
built up of parts, and all of these parts are
who you are. None of them are good or bad,
but some will overwhelm the others because you allow them
to do that, or they are suppressed most of the
time so that when they do come out, they come
(16:47):
out in unholy ways. And I mean unholy is my
shortened form for unwholesome, which probably originated that way. So
when we are looking at those three cards, there's a
genuine area that you can empower yourself. Like I'm a hypnotherapist,
so when I do programs like DNA restructuring, that's essentially
(17:10):
going to not discuss why. It's just this has happened.
We're going from a body change and the what's going
to kick in over the next three to five months.
Your behavior is going to change and something, if not
a number of things are going to change in a
huge way, but you're not choosing what those are. When
you are looking at things like pathwork or self realization,
(17:32):
you are focusing on the why. Yes, I do that.
That's huge if you want to change anything in your life,
if you want to be empowered in your life, you
can use your tarot cards to create that. But first
you need to be able to interpret them appropriately, honestly
and without confirmation bias. So when you understand the why
(17:54):
of something that doesn't that's not where it stays. Oh
I'm like this because of that. It's not that at all.
It's just an eye recognition, sorry, a recognition between that
and the behavioral aspect, the realization. You can have a
realization without a why. In fact, I would startle and
save time for most people. But this focus on the
(18:17):
past is a third person focus. You're focusing on something
that no longer really exists, so it's easier. Sometimes it's
harder to say, actually, i'm doing this now today, I'm
this person, I'm this manipulative person.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I've got this toxic trait that self realization.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I have behaved this way and it has not served
me because I did not get what I wanted from it.
My first experience of this might have been when I
was a baby, but I am no longer a baby.
My first experience of this might have continued right up
until I was ten, twelve, thirteen, fifteen, but I am
no longer that age. Therefore, I am willingly engaging this
(18:52):
behavior based on a child's experience. And it's not an
inner child thing because you're doing it now. So we've
got our two wives what And then, of course the
next thing is your solution. It's not an outcome. There's
no such thing as an outcome in life. There's a solution.
The solution to a problem relationship is ending it. The
(19:13):
solution to loving somebody wanting to be with them all
the time is moving in with them.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
This solution.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Everything's got a solution. The solution may not be palatable
or enjoyable. But it's a solution to a problem, or
it's a solution to a process. The solution to the problem,
and well, actually it is a problem if you want
to be with somebody all the time and you can't
be if you're in different cities, towns, or whatever. The
solution to the problem of wanting to be around somebody
and deep in a relationship is to move to be
(19:40):
with them. Right, So the solution, what is the solution,
and the solution is going to be behavioral. So we've
got two whys and two what's essentially a behavioral solution.
You might need to practice something repeatedly to get past
the original why and the original what to create a
new why in a new what. I'm going to do
(20:01):
this because I want is why. So here I have
now my next what is just say, for example, I'm
going to embrace change. That means nothing. It's not a process.
Why are you going to suddenly embrace change. I'm going
to practice change. It's how you go about that, and
we do it with little things. First, I'm going to
clean out my house and get rid of things that
(20:23):
have been sitting around for too long or things that
I don't truly use all things I don't really love.
Great way to start a process of change, changes of mind,
it changed body. You do a little bit every day.
There's a very old saying which is quite apt, but
it's also really under utilized, where if you want to change,
(20:44):
you can think on something or practice something actually for
thirty days and the new habit will engage. The problem
is most people do here and there for a month,
or they do a week of that, and then they're
over it, and then they look back a couple of
months and they go, well, that didn't work. Well, actually
you didn't work. You didn't make it work. It's not
(21:04):
to do with anything external. So you're using your terror cards.
You've got your experiential why, you've got your attitude.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Sorry, your.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
You'll have to go back and listen to that. We're
up to I've moved past, sorry my bed. So now
we're into the what for practicing and the experience. Now
you're creating another experiential what and so your experiential what
now will be every.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Day I will do blah.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
It could be say I want to meet someone, Well,
every day I will find a way to interact with
other people. That is friendly and nice. That means I
will say hello to the checkout operator, or I will
take two seconds longer to ask somebody how they feel,
even if I don't really want to do that. I
will move out of a habit that I do every day,
(21:52):
or I will start a habit that I can do
every day, and so on. So you do something different
every day, and that brings change as a gentle, nice
way to not fear change to such an extent you
keep everything exactly rigidly the same.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
This, of course, is just an example.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You can go through a pile of different examples of that,
but it's a really good way to use your cards
for why and what constructively. The other side of that,
of course, is you end up with an empowering thing.
And I want to talk about empowerment. And again, the
younger you are, sorry, the better you learn this when
you're younger, the more it will serve you well from
(22:30):
the earlier stages for the rest of your life. To
be empowered is not a thought. You can look in
the mirror all you like and say I am divine,
I'm a divine goddess, and it means absolutely nothing. If
you go out to work and you get treated like crap,
or you feel like you're depressed, or you feel like
you're anxious all the time, or you feel like the
world's controlling you, all of these things.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And so.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Every development to be empowering has to be experiential. That is,
I am doing something that makes this true. Affirmations are
not truth. I've taught this for years. If you look
in a mirror or if you make an affirmation that
you don't believe in, you are undermining yourself. Your self
(23:12):
esteem will plummet over time because you know, on your insight,
I'm just lying to myself. If you look in a
mirror and you go, I'm a beautiful person, but you
know you're a manipulator, not going to work, not going
to work at all, Repetition doesn't make it. So if
you continue the behaviors and we don't change from a
(23:34):
negative perspective. So you've drawn a card, You've drawn a
practice guide. This is what I'm going to practice for now.
The second thing you might want to do in there
is go for your next your attitudinal why or what
I want to do this because, and so draw a
card for that if you like. But I would be
(23:54):
inclined once I've got the what to practice from the card,
I would then be determining, well, I want to do this,
because so if you chew your fingernails and then you decide,
you know, every day, I'm going to do something because
my hands that prevents me from chewing my fingernails, because
it tends to be something to do when hands are free.
The next thing needs to be a positive indicator, which
(24:16):
is I want to stop chewing my fingernails because I
really like that pink nail polish and I want to
be able to put that on my fingers. I'm going
to go and get my nails hardened and have some
false nails put on to prevent me chewing on my
fingernails because that takes about a month to get past,
and in the meantime, so then I don't go straight
back to it afterwards. I'm going to spend that month
(24:38):
doing this and this and this and this and this.
I can take photos of my fingernails and how good
they look. Whatever it might be, but something every day,
every day for thirty days. And that's how you use
cards to empower yourself. Why and what can be disempowering?
Emotional roller coaster and I've got another thing that I've
been saying for a lot of time to students.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
In fact, you refers to class that I do or take.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I say this, Never ask a question unless you're sure
you want to know the answer to it. This is
so important. If you're saying, why doesn't somebody like me?
And you draw a card and or somebody, even if
you speak to a psychic or whatever, and they turn
around and say, oh, because they think you're a mousy
person and they don't like that about you and they
(25:24):
don't like you're here, do you want or need to
know that if they really do think that, if they're
not a nice person, they may have not nice thoughts.
So how would that help you? And if you're reading
for yourself, it cannot be true. You can't know that's true.
You can only know that that's what you think about yourself,
and therefore you're projecting it onto what they may be thinking.
When they may be thinking up there. There's with the what.
(25:50):
When it's a what without advancement, it can become.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Fanciful. I guess, like, what should I do? Is just
no no no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
What should I do? What's the problem? Here. No no, no, no,
no no. If you've got a problem, you know what
it is. If you are in a job and you're
not happy with that job and it's been like a
year and you're thinking of moving on, your problem is
being in that job. Isn't that right? So we know
what the problem is. The experiential why could be why
(26:26):
don't I like this job? But you may already know
that too. I don't like being ordered about it. I
don't like the pressure. I don't like whatever it is.
Most of us know exactly what we don't like about things,
and so it's not an absence at that moment, but
it could be an absence on board, there's an absence
of challenge, isn't it. I'm board, is an absence of challenge.
(26:46):
I'm feeling lonely in this job. Maybe you've got to
sit in a cubicle by yourself all day long. You know,
here are things.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
That you still know.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And then it's the question of why becomes so why
am I not feeling the intent to leave? Instead of
asking what should I do? Or what should I stay
or should I go? As a what question, it's a
very uninformative what question should I stay or should I go. Honestly,
you're the one in charge of your own mind. You
are the master of your mind. Yeah, you are the
(27:17):
cause of your life. You are the purpose of your experiences.
So it becomes what is it in me? Why is
it that I haven't found the intention to leave? Because
thinking about leaving looking at job adds and just not
falling through as a lack of intention. And then the
next question would be what would be the best thing
(27:38):
for me to practice? What can I practice so that
I can move on to get another job. You might
find you need to upskill to freshen up your idea
of knowing when you go into an interview that you
go in there with something nice and fresh and crisp
that you didn't have when you went for the last interview.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
You've upskilled.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So that could be why you might not like the
idea of competition out there, knowing that you've been sitting
in this job all this time and that there are
people that are going into that job that might have
better skills than you, or more skills, or a wider.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Range of skills.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
If those are thought consideration, you're what becomes upskill. That's
what you practice practice upskilling. It might take six months,
it might take a month, it might take three months.
But you might also find that you get your nerve back,
that you feel empowered by that. You might think, I
want to get another job, but I don't like interviews. Well,
(28:29):
you've already had an interview to get the job you've gotten.
If it's not your first job, you've done it a
few times. But you may need to look at how
to deal with competition is really what that's about and
being judged. Everybody that goes for a job is being judged,
but only for what they're putting in front of a person.
Your person isn't being judged. Your personality isn't being judged.
(28:50):
If you walk in there and you're not what they want,
it doesn't matter if you're bright and bubbly and talk
to if you don't have the skills they want. And
if they don't want somebody bright, bubbly and talkative, if
that makes them feel a bit unnerved it's not right
for the role, then that's not going to be helpful.
So people can be turned down for jobs for so
many reasons. It's ridiculous. So we can't look at not
(29:12):
being it's more of an absence this isn't what I want,
this isn't what I'm looking for, or there's somebody better.
It's more of an absence of reason again than a reason.
I'm not hiring you because there's somebody more qualified. It's
going to be there's somebody more qualified, and that's it.
It's not a rejection. So you may need to look
at the watts as to what can I do about this?
(29:34):
After you know the why, what do I need to practice?
And it's going to be that word practice. If you
start popping that in instead of looking for a miracle solution,
you might find that you become more proactive, that you
become more assertive, and at the end of all of that,
by practicing what it is you need to do to
get to somewhere you want to get is empowering and
using your cards to empower yourself. It's one of the
(29:56):
first things I wrote and learned Terry, which was the
first Terry book I wrote, I think in twenty thirteen,
and it was exactly that that you can use your
cards to empower you. When I wrote my last deck
and book, The Terror of Asterism, for most reasons only
available in the app, I've got to still sort of
finish completing the book. But it's a very expensive set,
(30:17):
so I'm not too fussed about it. We've got everybody
wanting decks for fifteen dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
This is not that.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It's got eighty eight beautiful big cards and it's got
a one hundred and ninety two page book with it,
but it's in the deckable app if you wanted it.
The decable app, card card guides, the guide books are
definitely not as in depth as the print book version,
(30:42):
but yeah, we'll get there.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Maybe I'll see.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
And so one of the interesting things around that is
you get the opportunity to look at your empowerment through
using energy that's already available and easy to understand. And
so this and this archetypal reference in the terror asterisms.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
There's also a message.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You can go for the message, but there's also a
little myth, and there's keywords, and the whole point of
all of that is to pull together ideas that you
can use and the moment that you're looking for them,
that allow you to think about what it is that's
best for you when you're looking for a problem. That's
what you will see in any interpretation or any message
(31:26):
when you're looking for a solution, then you can puzzle
that out. How is this a solution? How can this
help me? How can I help myself to be achieving
the thing that I want to achieve? Those are the
questions of the what and the why that serve you
the best. And if you use the what and why
in those ways, I could almost guarantee you And do
(31:49):
drop into this episode on spreaker and do leave a
comment if you like, if you've tried this for a
while and let me know how you got on, or
if you're struggling with it, then pop in there. And
I've also got to read it a group called Terror
Divination Aura. You can pop in there and you can
ask a question about this show, this episode, and we
(32:10):
can see how we go from there.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Show for now,
Hey everyone, it's Terarah Crazy Beginner series. I'm Dorothy, and
today I'm answering the problem with what or why type queries.
I see them just failing time and time again for
a variety of reasons. Yet, having said that, there is
(00:22):
value in understanding why a situation is recycling for you.
That is a different question to why doesn't somebody like me? Course,
there's this unquantifiable and I want you to understand what
that means. If you're asking why a person is choosing
to do or not do something, especially in the area
(00:45):
of why don't they like me, they may not be
a why. And this is just a reality check for
pretty much everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
In general.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Others are not so focused on you in their own
minds game that they have a clear line between their behavior,
their lack of interest, whatever, and your awareness of them.
And I think that's a really big powerful thing to
ask and understand. If you're asking why something went wrong
(01:19):
and you're trying to look at that via another person's
thought process, it's unquantifiable.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
They're never telling you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You're never going to know unless you are looking for
a solution, in which case it becomes what can we
do to resolve this? But that can be pointless either
if there's no chance or option to resolve it, So
the word we becomes problematic. So these two questions need
to be looked at with a lot of care and
(01:45):
attention if you want answers that are accurate, informing and empowering.
I've got to say something else here too. I think
sometimes you just open yourself up to be shot down
if you're not care and it's you shooting yourself down
because you never know really what the other person is thinking,
another person's mind, don't even try to look think about
(02:08):
your own mind.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You go to a party, or.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You go to a bar, or you go to a cafe,
you meet three or four people. There are those that
are attractive, there are those that you talk to and
enjoy your conversation with, and you walk away from there
and there's nobody of interest to you on another level,
there's no chemistry, or you're just not into it that night,
whatever it might be. You don't go away thinking I
(02:32):
don't like that person, I'm not attracted to that person because.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You might look at somebody and think, oh gosh, that
but ugly, and you know you're not going to be
attracted to them, and that's the end of your thought process,
done and dusted. A week later, you don't even remember them.
So I think it's really important to get a clear
handle on the other people and what their thought process are,
what their emotions are, what their feelings are, and how
(02:58):
very rare it is for them to be completely directed
at you, especially if it's a crush, especially if it's
a coworker. Most people are focused on another person only
while they're interacting with them, and when they're not interacting
with them, they're gone unless there's an argument or a
problem in play, and then that is what you want
to explore. You want to explore the problem, not the
(03:20):
other person who cares. You don't care, and that's your
problem because you're sitting there and asking questions. Is if
they care about nothing but what you're thinking and what
you're feeling and what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And none of this is true. So if we back
all of that up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And we relax a little bit, and the young you are,
by the way, the more powerful this will be for
you to learn right now today. One of the things
to look at for why, it's only if you're looking
for a solution to a problem. So why did my
bank not give me the loan? Isn't a why? Because
(03:59):
you know if they didn't give it to one, they
would have either told you or too. You knew you
were running on the edge when it came to the
ability to repay that loan. Here are things we know
perfectly well. Why if you meet somebody and there's no chemistry,
there's no why, there's just an absence of something, and
here we go. We can't read an absence of something.
An absence of something doesn't have reasoning, thought or all
(04:20):
the rest of it. It's just not there. If you
are in a relationship at work and you've got some
problems around that, you could ask why are we having
why are we having this problem?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But really you need to ask why am I not?
Why are we? Or why are they? Those? Why are we?
And why are they?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Just don't exist? They might be just being who they are.
There may be an absence of reason, isn't that true?
Think about that just for a second. If you get
a person who's clipped, who's impatient, they may not have
any thoughts about you at all. It might be just
who they are. They might just get annoyed with you
if you ask a lot of questions, but it's not
alike dislike of you. And as soon as it comes
(05:02):
always down to do they like me, don't they like me?
What are they thinking about me? You might need to
really reframe that or you're just going to drive yourself
crazy because mostly you won't get it correctly. You won't
get it right. You could think somebody doesn't like you
when they just don't care about you. And that's more
than it's probably the majority, because we all are focused
(05:23):
on what we've focused on. I want you to think about,
you know, if it's somebody you don't really know, somebody
you've interacted with. How often do you think about coworkers
as soon as you're not interacting with them, or as
soon as you don't need something from them or need
to give them something. How often do you think about
them really when you are even doing the most mundane work,
(05:45):
when you're focused on that, or you're talking to a
customer on the phone or whatever it might be. Who
else exists for you through that period of time if
you're focused on them? These are big questions because why
does somebody do something? Real challenge? Most of the time
you can ask I've got kids, you can say why.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Did you do that? And I go, I don't know.
And you'll see adults getting really angry about that, and
the truth is that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ask yourself why you do a lot of things you
do and some of it you'll go, oh, because I
like it. It's a year, but why why do you
like it? And it gets awkward at that moment you
don't know. It's some things you can be very clear
about with that. I like my job because I like
my friend because and most of the time it comes
down to indefinables when I like my friend. Sometimes there
(06:33):
are people who can sit there and say, we have
these amazing conversations, and I can open myself completely to them,
and then I can say to them, but why, and
suddenly they're at a bit of a loss because it's
a connection. It's something deeper than language. And a lot
of cases and that's the same if there's an active
dislike for somebody. An active dislike always has a why.
(06:55):
I don't like that person because or I don't like
the way they do this, if it's a job or
something more superficial or a behavior.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But the vast majority. It's just there's just nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
We don't have that strength of feeling for or against
the majority of things in our lives on a daily basis.
So when we are going to ask why for something
you are looking for or I hope you're looking for
a foundation that brought about a circumstance, and it won't
be about another person. It can be about a dynamic,
(07:32):
and a dynamic is an interaction between two people.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
This might be a.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Real shock for you, but of all the people you meet,
probably a quarter of them are just not going to
like you. Then more than two thirds of the people
you meet, and maybe even more than that, aren't going
to care about you one way or the other. And
then there's a time little group of people that you
have commonality with, that you like each other or you
can be acquaintances with. And then there are people who
(07:59):
have no need for that, and they're not introverts. This
introvert things like blah blah. I like spending time alone.
I like spending time and nature. In fact, I'm doing
that right now. I'm looking at this beautiful sea and
the beautiful beach, and I'm perfectly comfortable by myself.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And then maybe in an hour or two.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Time to time, I'll think, no, you know what, I'm
going to pop over and see my friend. I feel
like doing that, Or I'll invite somebody down to dinner
because I feel like doing that. So, when you are
looking for foundational reasons, if you, for example, stay at home,
sit on social media, watch hours and hours and hours
(08:35):
of TikTok and read note and whatever else you might
be doing, and then you go draw your cards and think,
you know, the next day or in an hour or two,
I'm pretty lonely, why can't I meet somebody? Well, you
know why, So it becomes a pointless question. You know
exactly why you're sitting at home and you're on TikTok
or you're on read note because I wouldn't be anywhere else,
(08:57):
to be honest me, we maybe and on a social
media app. Or you're playing games, what is it, sugar Crush,
candy crush, whatever, war games, any games, if you're role
playing games RPGs, this is why you're not getting on
in life. This is why you're not achieving goals. This
is why you're not doing things in your evening. If
(09:18):
you're patrolling dating sites, this is why you're not meeting
people and so on and so on and so on.
So you know why. So that's another step away. If
you know why something is happening, then you need to
shift that to a solution. Right, what can I do
about it? What's my best next move? And if it's
something you're uncomfortable with but you know it's right, you
(09:40):
do it. You know you're not going to get a
partnership with them dropping through your roof and into your
couch right beside you and saying, hey there, honey, you're
looking pretty hard. I think we could be good together.
It's just not going to happen. And so it doesn't
happen like that with dating apps either. People will spend
months chitter chattering to some person who's chitter chattering to
(10:02):
twenty other people and going out and going to the
pub and enjoying their life because their dating app is
what they do at the end of the day, where
it's what they do for an hour a day. And
so if you're spending a lot of time on that
looking looking put a timer on it. It's not that
you shouldn't do any of these things. So I don't
want to give the wrong impression. Although real life isn't
(10:22):
happening in a box called your phone. You need to
set a time limit and think, right, what is it
I want to achieve today or this week? If you
want to get a painting, going, write an article, go
out and spend time with friends, then you need to
limit the time that you're spending in an artificial relationship.
And even if it's worth friends, trust me, it's artificial.
(10:43):
When I left Facebook and some three or four thousand friends,
and I knew out of those there is a tiny
amount that we're friends. Most of them were professionally interested
in what I do.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And then of course.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
When I did that, of course I had family on
their and I've had all these people going, oh, but
I've got friends, and I've got family on Facebook, and
that's where we connect.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
And all there is.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
My answers are no not I would like or comment
on my sister's posts, and I've got plenty of those
sisters they would like or comment on mine. My brother
might come in once now and again, my son would
come in, my daughter might click on something. It's not
a relationship, it's not a communication. But what I did
find is we weren't talking, We weren't actually physically talking
(11:26):
to each other, not even a live chat very often.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So I took out.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Facebook, and about a month or so went by, and
next thing, boop, I get a message on my phone
from my sister saying, hey, how's it going. And then
I answer, that didn't happen on Facebook ever, it just
didn't happen, and we would I have conversations with loads
of people by a messenger, which was the first thing
(11:51):
I got rid of. Loads of people still do. They're
not my friends, they're not my family. I don't live
my life every day with them. If I want to
go down to the beach or go fishing, I'm not
going to ring them up say hey, can I come
and grab you?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Let's go for a coffee? Can't happen.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So that means I have an artificial relationship with those people.
So if we draw all of that back with the
what or the why, why needs to have a foundational
structure to it. Say you're having an argument with somebody,
or you've got in particular why is the most why
will ever be is if you are looking at cyclic behaviors,
(12:26):
why do I blah blah blah, Because you may genuinely
not know or not have an awareness or consciousness of
it or an understanding of it, and that's powerful why
and then if you're going to do that, I recommend
having a look at not a card or an underlying
card or a past or a present. That's a retrospective reading.
(12:49):
So it means you're looking back into the past, but
it's going to be as a series of a past
is going to be perhaps an experiential aspect.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I e my gadly me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So I suffer a little bit of anxiety around romance
and relationships or relationships in general. My dad leave me,
my mum left me. I've had friends leave me, and
now I just sort of think everybody's going to leave me.
So I'm insecure. Please note that's all that is. I'm insecure.
It's not trauma. You're insecure. What can I do about it?
Becomes a second question, But you draw the cards on that.
(13:22):
So here's the experience I've had. These experience are yeah,
that makes sense, and it should make sense, and then
it becomes what would be the next best thing to practice?
Because you practice overcoming these things, you don't draw a
card and go, oh, that's my soul talking. Those are
all kind of rubbishy spreads. To be honest, people do
(13:44):
them all the time and do nothing with them. So
what's the next best thing that I can practice? And
it might be socializing yourself, It might be seeing a therapist,
by the way, it might be anything but getting a reading,
because a reading doesn't change your life. How often have
you been told something or thought you interpreted something and
(14:04):
you're reading and then followed it through.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Because I'll tell.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You something, If you think you interpreted something and you're reading,
you look back and went, oh, yeah, that was really
bang on. It changed nothing. All you're doing is retrospectively
looking at a layout and fitting it into what happened.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
In your day or your month or your week.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
If you go to a reader and they read something
for you and they say, hey, this is about six
seven months down the track and you live that new
experience that that's a completely different thing to a self
fulfilling prophecy where you've looked at something and they generated
it or looked at something and then fitted it into
how your day went. Because it's easy to do that,
it's what we can do. It's mental gymnastics. It's pretty
(14:44):
simple for humans. So your why is foundational it's going
to start with something experiential that bought that about, and
then you may want to look at what's my habit here,
what's my attitude? I would look at attitude, and if
you're using the terror of asterisms, go to the archetype.
Some of them are pretty in your face. I'm not
gonna pull any punches about that. But when you go
(15:05):
to the archetype, it's in that query, it's not who
you are as a person. And we need to perhaps
move past this all or nothing mental attitude. If you're
going to use Tarry, there's no such thing as all
or nothing. There's no such thing as good or bad.
There's no such thing as you shall know. And so
we're looking at complexities. So that why part.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Of the why.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Here's my experiential why. What attitude did I develop? And
that's the archetypal why. So you've got an experiential why,
an archetypal why. And then over the years you will
have practiced and practiced and practiced that. I don't want
to get hurt, so I'll just stay a little bit distant.
So I don't want to get hurt, So I'll fight
with this person to we break down that's not a
(15:45):
real thing. That's just a social media construct. Most people
that are really scared of being rejected or abandoned through
life experiences and developing an attitude, maintain their distance to
start with, so they can have fractious, toxic relationships the
upper side of that where they could become clinging or
(16:07):
super controlling. So that's what the third card might be.
So we've got an experiential why, we've got an attitude
and or why, and then we have got a behavioral why,
a what. Sorry, the behavior becomes the what? And so
what behavior do I engage in that makes this worse?
(16:27):
And that's what you're looking at. Because we're built up
of parts. I've just finished the training, if is, we're
built up of parts, and all of these parts are
who you are. None of them are good or bad,
but some will overwhelm the others because you allow them
to do that, or they are suppressed most of the
time so that when they do come out, they come
(16:47):
out in unholy ways. And I mean unholy is my
shortened form for unwholesome, which probably originated that way. So
when we are looking at those three cards, there's a
genuine area that you can empower yourself. Like I'm a hypnotherapist,
so when I do programs like DNA restructuring, that's essentially
(17:10):
going to not discuss why. It's just this has happened.
We're going from a body change and the what's going
to kick in over the next three to five months.
Your behavior is going to change and something, if not
a number of things are going to change in a
huge way, but you're not choosing what those are. When
you are looking at things like pathwork or self realization,
(17:32):
you are focusing on the why. Yes, I do that.
That's huge if you want to change anything in your life,
if you want to be empowered in your life, you
can use your tarot cards to create that. But first
you need to be able to interpret them appropriately, honestly
and without confirmation bias. So when you understand the why
(17:54):
of something that doesn't that's not where it stays. Oh
I'm like this because of that. It's not that at all.
It's just an eye recognition, sorry, a recognition between that
and the behavioral aspect, the realization. You can have a
realization without a why. In fact, I would startle and
save time for most people. But this focus on the
(18:17):
past is a third person focus. You're focusing on something
that no longer really exists, so it's easier. Sometimes it's
harder to say, actually, i'm doing this now today, I'm
this person, I'm this manipulative person.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I've got this toxic trait that self realization.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I have behaved this way and it has not served
me because I did not get what I wanted from it.
My first experience of this might have been when I
was a baby, but I am no longer a baby.
My first experience of this might have continued right up
until I was ten, twelve, thirteen, fifteen, but I am
no longer that age. Therefore, I am willingly engaging this
(18:52):
behavior based on a child's experience. And it's not an
inner child thing because you're doing it now. So we've
got our two wives what And then, of course the
next thing is your solution. It's not an outcome. There's
no such thing as an outcome in life. There's a solution.
The solution to a problem relationship is ending it. The
(19:13):
solution to loving somebody wanting to be with them all
the time is moving in with them.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
This solution.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Everything's got a solution. The solution may not be palatable
or enjoyable. But it's a solution to a problem, or
it's a solution to a process. The solution to the problem,
and well, actually it is a problem if you want
to be with somebody all the time and you can't
be if you're in different cities, towns, or whatever. The
solution to the problem of wanting to be around somebody
and deep in a relationship is to move to be
(19:40):
with them. Right, So the solution, what is the solution,
and the solution is going to be behavioral. So we've
got two whys and two what's essentially a behavioral solution.
You might need to practice something repeatedly to get past
the original why and the original what to create a
new why in a new what. I'm going to do
(20:01):
this because I want is why. So here I have
now my next what is just say, for example, I'm
going to embrace change. That means nothing. It's not a process.
Why are you going to suddenly embrace change. I'm going
to practice change. It's how you go about that, and
we do it with little things. First, I'm going to
clean out my house and get rid of things that
(20:23):
have been sitting around for too long or things that
I don't truly use all things I don't really love.
Great way to start a process of change, changes of mind,
it changed body. You do a little bit every day.
There's a very old saying which is quite apt, but
it's also really under utilized, where if you want to change,
(20:44):
you can think on something or practice something actually for
thirty days and the new habit will engage. The problem
is most people do here and there for a month,
or they do a week of that, and then they're
over it, and then they look back a couple of
months and they go, well, that didn't work. Well, actually
you didn't work. You didn't make it work. It's not
(21:04):
to do with anything external. So you're using your terror cards.
You've got your experiential why, you've got your attitude.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Sorry, your.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
You'll have to go back and listen to that. We're
up to I've moved past, sorry my bed. So now
we're into the what for practicing and the experience. Now
you're creating another experiential what and so your experiential what
now will be every.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Day I will do blah.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
It could be say I want to meet someone, Well,
every day I will find a way to interact with
other people. That is friendly and nice. That means I
will say hello to the checkout operator, or I will
take two seconds longer to ask somebody how they feel,
even if I don't really want to do that. I
will move out of a habit that I do every day,
(21:52):
or I will start a habit that I can do
every day, and so on. So you do something different
every day, and that brings change as a gentle, nice
way to not fear change to such an extent you
keep everything exactly rigidly the same.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
This, of course, is just an example.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You can go through a pile of different examples of that,
but it's a really good way to use your cards
for why and what constructively. The other side of that,
of course, is you end up with an empowering thing.
And I want to talk about empowerment. And again, the
younger you are, sorry, the better you learn this when
you're younger, the more it will serve you well from
(22:30):
the earlier stages for the rest of your life. To
be empowered is not a thought. You can look in
the mirror all you like and say I am divine,
I'm a divine goddess, and it means absolutely nothing. If
you go out to work and you get treated like crap,
or you feel like you're depressed, or you feel like
you're anxious all the time, or you feel like the
world's controlling you, all of these things.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And so.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Every development to be empowering has to be experiential. That is,
I am doing something that makes this true. Affirmations are
not truth. I've taught this for years. If you look
in a mirror or if you make an affirmation that
you don't believe in, you are undermining yourself. Your self
(23:12):
esteem will plummet over time because you know, on your insight,
I'm just lying to myself. If you look in a
mirror and you go, I'm a beautiful person, but you
know you're a manipulator, not going to work, not going
to work at all, Repetition doesn't make it. So if
you continue the behaviors and we don't change from a
(23:34):
negative perspective. So you've drawn a card, You've drawn a
practice guide. This is what I'm going to practice for now.
The second thing you might want to do in there
is go for your next your attitudinal why or what
I want to do this because, and so draw a
card for that if you like. But I would be
(23:54):
inclined once I've got the what to practice from the card,
I would then be determining, well, I want to do this,
because so if you chew your fingernails and then you decide,
you know, every day, I'm going to do something because
my hands that prevents me from chewing my fingernails, because
it tends to be something to do when hands are free.
The next thing needs to be a positive indicator, which
(24:16):
is I want to stop chewing my fingernails because I
really like that pink nail polish and I want to
be able to put that on my fingers. I'm going
to go and get my nails hardened and have some
false nails put on to prevent me chewing on my
fingernails because that takes about a month to get past,
and in the meantime, so then I don't go straight
back to it afterwards. I'm going to spend that month
(24:38):
doing this and this and this and this and this.
I can take photos of my fingernails and how good
they look. Whatever it might be, but something every day,
every day for thirty days. And that's how you use
cards to empower yourself. Why and what can be disempowering?
Emotional roller coaster and I've got another thing that I've
been saying for a lot of time to students.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
In fact, you refers to class that I do or take.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I say this, Never ask a question unless you're sure
you want to know the answer to it. This is
so important. If you're saying, why doesn't somebody like me?
And you draw a card and or somebody, even if
you speak to a psychic or whatever, and they turn
around and say, oh, because they think you're a mousy
person and they don't like that about you and they
(25:24):
don't like you're here, do you want or need to
know that if they really do think that, if they're
not a nice person, they may have not nice thoughts.
So how would that help you? And if you're reading
for yourself, it cannot be true. You can't know that's true.
You can only know that that's what you think about yourself,
and therefore you're projecting it onto what they may be thinking.
When they may be thinking up there. There's with the what.
(25:50):
When it's a what without advancement, it can become.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Fanciful. I guess, like, what should I do? Is just
no no no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
What should I do? What's the problem? Here. No no, no, no,
no no. If you've got a problem, you know what
it is. If you are in a job and you're
not happy with that job and it's been like a
year and you're thinking of moving on, your problem is
being in that job. Isn't that right? So we know
what the problem is. The experiential why could be why
(26:26):
don't I like this job? But you may already know
that too. I don't like being ordered about it. I
don't like the pressure. I don't like whatever it is.
Most of us know exactly what we don't like about things,
and so it's not an absence at that moment, but
it could be an absence on board, there's an absence
of challenge, isn't it. I'm board, is an absence of challenge.
(26:46):
I'm feeling lonely in this job. Maybe you've got to
sit in a cubicle by yourself all day long. You know,
here are things.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
That you still know.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And then it's the question of why becomes so why
am I not feeling the intent to leave? Instead of
asking what should I do? Or what should I stay
or should I go? As a what question, it's a
very uninformative what question should I stay or should I go. Honestly,
you're the one in charge of your own mind. You
are the master of your mind. Yeah, you are the
(27:17):
cause of your life. You are the purpose of your experiences.
So it becomes what is it in me? Why is
it that I haven't found the intention to leave? Because
thinking about leaving looking at job adds and just not
falling through as a lack of intention. And then the
next question would be what would be the best thing
(27:38):
for me to practice? What can I practice so that
I can move on to get another job. You might
find you need to upskill to freshen up your idea
of knowing when you go into an interview that you
go in there with something nice and fresh and crisp
that you didn't have when you went for the last interview.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
You've upskilled.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So that could be why you might not like the
idea of competition out there, knowing that you've been sitting
in this job all this time and that there are
people that are going into that job that might have
better skills than you, or more skills, or a wider.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Range of skills.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
If those are thought consideration, you're what becomes upskill. That's
what you practice practice upskilling. It might take six months,
it might take a month, it might take three months.
But you might also find that you get your nerve back,
that you feel empowered by that. You might think, I
want to get another job, but I don't like interviews. Well,
(28:29):
you've already had an interview to get the job you've gotten.
If it's not your first job, you've done it a
few times. But you may need to look at how
to deal with competition is really what that's about and
being judged. Everybody that goes for a job is being judged,
but only for what they're putting in front of a person.
Your person isn't being judged. Your personality isn't being judged.
(28:50):
If you walk in there and you're not what they want,
it doesn't matter if you're bright and bubbly and talk
to if you don't have the skills they want. And
if they don't want somebody bright, bubbly and talkative, if
that makes them feel a bit unnerved it's not right
for the role, then that's not going to be helpful.
So people can be turned down for jobs for so
many reasons. It's ridiculous. So we can't look at not
(29:12):
being it's more of an absence this isn't what I want,
this isn't what I'm looking for, or there's somebody better.
It's more of an absence of reason again than a reason.
I'm not hiring you because there's somebody more qualified. It's
going to be there's somebody more qualified, and that's it.
It's not a rejection. So you may need to look
at the watts as to what can I do about this?
(29:34):
After you know the why, what do I need to practice?
And it's going to be that word practice. If you
start popping that in instead of looking for a miracle solution,
you might find that you become more proactive, that you
become more assertive, and at the end of all of that,
by practicing what it is you need to do to
get to somewhere you want to get is empowering and
using your cards to empower yourself. It's one of the
(29:56):
first things I wrote and learned Terry, which was the
first Terry book I wrote, I think in twenty thirteen,
and it was exactly that that you can use your
cards to empower you. When I wrote my last deck
and book, The Terror of Asterism, for most reasons only
available in the app, I've got to still sort of
finish completing the book. But it's a very expensive set,
(30:17):
so I'm not too fussed about it. We've got everybody
wanting decks for fifteen dollars.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
This is not that.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It's got eighty eight beautiful big cards and it's got
a one hundred and ninety two page book with it,
but it's in the deckable app if you wanted it.
The decable app, card card guides, the guide books are
definitely not as in depth as the print book version,
(30:42):
but yeah, we'll get there.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Maybe I'll see.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
And so one of the interesting things around that is
you get the opportunity to look at your empowerment through
using energy that's already available and easy to understand. And
so this and this archetypal reference in the terror asterisms.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
There's also a message.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You can go for the message, but there's also a
little myth, and there's keywords, and the whole point of
all of that is to pull together ideas that you
can use and the moment that you're looking for them,
that allow you to think about what it is that's
best for you when you're looking for a problem. That's
what you will see in any interpretation or any message
(31:26):
when you're looking for a solution, then you can puzzle
that out. How is this a solution? How can this
help me? How can I help myself to be achieving
the thing that I want to achieve? Those are the
questions of the what and the why that serve you
the best. And if you use the what and why
in those ways, I could almost guarantee you And do
(31:49):
drop into this episode on spreaker and do leave a
comment if you like, if you've tried this for a
while and let me know how you got on, or
if you're struggling with it, then pop in there. And
I've also got to read it a group called Terror
Divination Aura. You can pop in there and you can
ask a question about this show, this episode, and we
(32:10):
can see how we go from there.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Show for now,
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