November 8, 2023 • 29 mins
Step back in time and experience the warmth, nostalgia, and heartwarming tales of Thanksgiving with our curated collection of old-time radio shows. "Thanksgiving Tales from the Airwaves" brings together a delightful assortment of classic radio episodes that capture the essence of this cherished holiday. Whether you're reminiscing about the good old days or discovering the magic of vintage radio for the first time, this collection is a delightful journey through Thanksgiving traditions, family gatherings, and heartwarming stories.
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Bird's Eye Frosted Foods Present Bird's EyeOpen House starring Dinah Shore, but their
special guests grout Joe Mark, No, he has done. I didn't wanna
see you again, but I did. I didn't wanna phone you again,
but I did. I had acertain feeling for you that bothered me.
(00:34):
I had to find out what ahidden time to see. I didn't wanna
hug you again, but I didn'twanna kiss you again, but I did.
(00:56):
I must have been who's that ametal doing what I did. I
didn't wanna fall in line, butI did. I must have been to
(01:27):
fair meal what I did. Ididn't wanna fall in line, but I
did. Good even ladies and gentlemen, Hi you fellows. Oh, I'm
(01:53):
fine and I'm happy Thanksgiving to allof you. That means you Robin m.
Jordan and are uncacod hand in ourforest and all your nice people who
are visiting our Bird's Eye Open Housethis evening. Oh, I didn't mean
to exclude you, Harry. Howare you? Oh? Finding a very
thank you hanksgiving to you? Larry? Well? Anyhow, thank you,
(02:15):
Harry. You know this is myfavorite holiday? Oh mine too? See
every Thanksgiving day. I'm bursting withsentiment, brotherly love, convisuality and stuffing.
But Diana, who else are youhaving over for Thanksgiving dinner? Well,
my aunt Sarah Lukopepa is visiting mefrom Alabama, and I thought maybe
Groucher Marks might be a good dinnercompagnon for it. Oh, sure,
(02:38):
Groucho is coming over to say whereis it? I don't know, but
I wish he'd hurried. See Grouchertold me not to buy a turkey cook
he's bringing one over ground, coolbrownch always bringing the turkey. Yeah,
I wonder where are you? WellI didn't win at that time. I'll
(03:02):
have another chance on the turkey.Mister Mark's only five cent, you though,
by all means. But what getsme yet is that they're actually our
suckers. We'll go into a storeand pay ten and twelve dollars for a
takey when you can step up toa cigar count. And we went on
a punch board for a nickel.All right, Ed, I'll take another
chance. Hear you're let's see,I think I'll punch this one. Mister
(03:23):
Mark's congratulations you won the thirty.Oh, I'm always lucky. How much
try owe you one hundred and fiftythree dollars and forty two You wait right
here, mister Marks, I'll bringyou your proud I still can't understand how
a guy in his right mind we'llgo into a store and punk down ten
and twelve dollars for a takey agratia Mark. You're a shrewd little rasc
(03:45):
of you. Now you just sayright where you are, Sarah Lou.
You must be tired from your tips. Just relax while Harry and I said,
he said the table, thank you, Johnah, Honey, I hope
the trip was pleasant. Well,it would have been pleasant enough if it
wasn't for those nicety old customed manWhy would you believe it? They went
(04:10):
through all my loss, and theyeven in sitted on seeing my little ole
tatport. Well, but you only, but if you only came up from
little old Birmingham. Where did theygo through your luggy to examine your passport?
Have to Mason Dixon line? Ohno, dozens, the table looks
(04:31):
nice. Let's see, Harry,you'll sit over here, and I'll sit
over here. Grassol fiddles there,and aunt Cyrlu you'll sit over here.
Yeah. Well gee, I'm hungry. I wish Graucho Marx would get here
so we could put that turkey inthe oven too. Oh I hope that's
him. Well, Groucho, howdo you do? It's about time.
Sorry to keep you waiting, butall of you I say now now I
(04:57):
mean happy Thanksgiving In French, well, Bessa may move show to you come
outside and say that bad enough tosay it in here, you know?
In Spanish strout show that means whereis the turkey? Von zeal? Keep
your shird on? Keep your shipnever mind that's looking at that shad you
(05:20):
better take it off. Dinah,I want to present you with the most
beautiful take you've ever seen. Whereis it right here? Hymn? Come
on in wait to try putting thatin the ice box? What turkey?
(05:40):
This is ridiculous. I don't believeit. You will if you started plucking
your tail feathers. Well, howin the world you know this turkey looks
like a fellow I used to playpool with him, Paul Tucky? Well,
how in the world did you everget this turkey over here in the
street car? Well, job anytrouble, don't old lady got off and
gave him a seat. He usedto be a turkey. To Rachel Rattle,
(06:08):
everything else has cooked. Who's goingto kill the turkey? Stop?
Don't make my wife kill hi?And takey. Stop bad living with him.
You're not kidding. It frightens him. Look at look at this.
(06:30):
This is the first time I eversaw goose pimples on a turkey. Take
it easy, him, and takeit easy. Take I am in,
don't know the do it. Getoff your knees. I'm gonna eat them
later. Shine of charge, Lady, the chow I'm in. I haven't
(07:02):
stop bowing. She means me,O gras, I'm really sorry. I
want you to meet my aunt,sarahlu Culpepper. She's from Alabama. How
do you do? It's a pleasure, man. I'm always proud to meet
a daughter the Old South. Afterall, I'm a son of the Old
South. I come from Florida.Oh thanks, but I wouldn't mind to
(07:24):
drink a sad enough excuse me,excuse me, Aunt Carl Lute, but
I've got the settlers now, GRAUSO, how are we going to k?
I L L the K T UR K E Y. It doesn't spell
very well. It's very simple we'rejust cut his ah E A d O
(07:44):
F F. All right, allright, you don't have to spell things
out in front of me. Idon't want any of your old candy,
anywood binzel. If you are thirtyeight more points, you could get out
of kindergarten now, So I please, we get to do something. The
(08:07):
rest of the food is all cooked. Yeah, and if the cranberry sauce
stands much longer, the taste willbe killed. Just a curry purry.
There's no holding that. Take ittonight. Say the word killing from well,
(08:31):
that's the last time I get totake it. I went to college.
(08:54):
It's adful, oh you and myh it's good to have you fall
again. God, I used toworry when you didn't ride wait said for
(09:33):
the moment every day in my jeez, it's good to kick you close to
(09:58):
man the news how long? Souh pay let's put the gould me hug
me, kiss me, hold mayhug me, kiss me like you said,
(10:22):
dafl. It's adful. Oh inmy own again, it's you close
(10:48):
to me. Name never knew howlong a pay study go for me?
(11:09):
Kiss me once more? Oh me, help me, kiss me like a
dear deep. It's good offul ohin my own Oh thanks, gotcha?
(11:56):
Way, Harry, he's putting hymenin the kitchen, taking in another room.
We might be able to think thisthing out, Oh, Harry,
Harry. I hope he determined didn'tmake any too much trouble about being a
lot in the kitchen. Oh no, not a bit. As a matter
of fact, that bird is mostcooperative. You know that test not dressing
you made. He just sucked himselfwith it. Well, which one of
(12:18):
you is going to prepare the turkeysfor cooking? Well? Well, well,
don't look at me. I amso tender hearted. I feel faint
when I cut the pages of abook. And what about you, mister
Mark? Why I couldn't I I'veleaned a love hyman. He's like a
brother to me. As a matterof fact, he does look like Chikov.
(12:41):
That there's more white meat on checkout. Well, it's up to you,
Brasco. When I invited you toa Thanksgiving dinner, you promised to
supply the turkey. Now, wellI did, But I can't help it
if I'm not a killer hate Dina. I've got an idea, you know,
I've got connection? What about it. I get a mobster from town
to pump him off. Oh,don't be silly when you Yankees call yourself
(13:05):
man. Why that trooky's neck wouldhave been wrung long ago in Alabama.
I'll be right back were going.I just want to warn Hyman I to
fly side for the winter. Oh, I'm losing patient. Something's got to
be done about that turkey. Now, Groucho, I'm gonna give you and
Harry thirty seconds to think of something. I love it, Dinah, but
I can't think of a thing tohold it. Hold it old. Wait
(13:26):
a minute, everybody, I'm thinkingof something. What are you thinking about?
Green bean? Green bee bee birdtie click, frozen green bean breaks?
Walking around in the kitchen down,honey, I'll settle the whole problem.
Give them to the foot man whokills that turkey. I will give
(13:50):
a great bee hit to the ficeman who kills that turkey. You will
give a great big kitchen. Yes, popes, in that kitchen stands a
turkey named Hyman, who will bethe face takey on record to live long
enough to collect source of security.I realize you're a yanous, but even
(14:13):
Frue, I've never seen anything foodfruit, Oh right, just waiting to
try those bird's eye stringless Oh shewalked into that one, It certainly did,
or any other bird's eye vegetable arefruits. They're the precious, tasting,
most perfect food you ever ate.That's because the bird's eye folks really
know how to grow and prepare goodfood. That's most careful, you know,
so pussy that you can always besure of getting perfectly delicious, clean
(14:35):
and uniform food all the time.Believe me, any one of those birds
eye fruits are vegetables would win thefirst prize of the beauty concept. I
can just see it the senest Atlanticcity as the cameras are clicking test.
That's miss Stringbean of nineteen forty five. Our shapely legs and eyes are cross
and she's wearing a quick cross andbaiting stuff. Yes, And as I
(14:56):
wink at her, she gives methe eyes, the bird's eye. I
want to get it on that racket. He bless your little fat heart and
my little fat viza. Yes,really, folks, if you'll give your
food stores frosted food case the bird'seye, you're gonna get some mighty good
(15:16):
food. Because you know, ifyou want a better buy and frosted food.
Better buy bird's eye. Look,look, fellas, I've just gone
through the cookos again and it saysnothing on how to cook a live pat.
You know, what are you gonnado about it? Oh, my
dear dear husband, Colonel Blanchet,were only here. Here's a lot to
handle that turkey, your husband,Colonel Blanchet. Yes, you were married
(15:37):
for twenty years. Oh what abeautiful union. He died a short time
ago. That guy didn't die,He's succeeded from the union. This is
the Jerome current spot tonight, assunedfrom one score of the innumerable scores he
(16:03):
wrote. Lots of couples call ittheir own song, but it belongs to
anybody who's ever been in love.The crom the spring time that may so
(16:26):
long, while long, all thebreathless curl, the evening that trembles on
(16:48):
the brain of a loveless song.You are that, my sat The seriest
thing I know are what you boughtmy not being arm for the bold and
(17:29):
so know that moment divide when allthe things you are are the day happy
(18:15):
arm will hold you. And sothat moment when all the things you no
(19:06):
Oh aunt Sarah, I'm so embarrassedafter you came all the way up for
a Thanksgiving Jonner, this had tohappen. My day is ruy. Yes,
Johnna Cho, I mustn't, butI'm terribly disappointed. This day means
a lot to me. Well,I can still remember when I was a
little girl, the first Thanksgiving JinnI ate with the grown ups. Father
had the drumstick, mother had thewings, and I got the turkey.
(19:29):
Neg I got a turkey neck hicolor, and nobody I notice it,
Groucho, that's no way to talkto my aunt. I can't help it,
Dinah, I keep thinking she's heruncle. Oh fuckenough of this spot.
Where does it say that in here? Right now? F op pop?
(19:51):
That's a funny word. Well,you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm going in there and finish offthat turkey. Somebody's got to scrout you
if you gotta hatch it in yourpocket now, but take this egg the
Takey'll hatch it. I'm not responsiblefor that. The turkey wrote that joke
himself. Oh, Harry, I'mvery proud of you. I'm glad there's
(20:15):
one man here who had some curry. Well, thank you, Dinah.
Now, I'm going into that therekitchen, and when I get finisheda that
there turkey, he'll be ready forthe roasted I'll be right back home.
We'll all be eating food Hymen's sake. I hope the end comes fast,
(20:37):
well, Hymen and turkey heaven.How may he rest in pieces? And
I wish I had wanted a pizza? Well? Thanks, Oh boy,
Harry, are you finished finis?I'll say I'm finissa. Darn turkey.
Throw me two falls out of three. You should have gotten a half Nelson
on his jebilet. I still betterI have gibbled on his melton. That's
(21:03):
a two way joke. You canhave it either way you want it.
Geez, you ensure everything around here. Nobody too had at last turkey,
and I think that only yesterday,mister Krossmeyer, the pot you wanted to
sell me a turkey, and Iturned him down. I know we'll leaf
(21:25):
take it, yet, give methat phone. She dies like a dog.
Hello, oh no, hello,hello, mister Krossmeyer. This is
(21:48):
Rachel Mars. Have you got totake he left in the shop that you
could sell me. You will haveone weighs one hundred and sixty five pounds
Crossmeyer. Take your wife off thescale, thank you your children, and
take them off the scale. Girl, I just want to take it.
All you've got is a live one. Oh never mind, but just out
(22:11):
of curiosity, is it a maletachy or a female? A female?
Well, if she's not going steady, I can get her a hot day
for Saturday night by by? Well, all right, dinah, I guess
I'll have to go in there anddo away with heyman, I feel like
a Benedict Dnald, but I'll doit that a boy, grouchy old man.
But wait a minute, I can'tface home unless I have a little
something to brace me up. Well, I just the liberty of mixing a
(22:33):
bowl of pie. Showing up.You will find it right there in the
kitchen. Show enough that, goout to brace you rock. We got
us at seven Magnolia and her bruttlepot sounds good? How's it made?
It's mighty complicated. You take abig bowl, you pour in five or
the bourbon? What else? That'sall? I'm in't here? I can't
(23:00):
Hey, where's that bowl of punch? Well? I ride right here on
the kitchen table. The bull isab but there's nothing in it. You're
right. The bowl is empty,Aunt, Sarah Lou, did you the
whole thing? Get it on?Well, don't look at me. I
didn't touch it. Well, somebodymust have drunk it. I wonder who
(23:22):
it could have been. That's alla drunken turkey. It's the last brawl
after all the plans I've made forthis Thanksgiving days in it there's nothing for
(23:44):
me to do but go in thecorner. And I don't talk that way.
I know why you would be theenemy of every hostess in America today,
and millions of homes people are havingplane takey, stuff, takey,
smoke, takey, baked takey,and roast takey. You are the only
woman in the United States who havepickout tiking. Hey, folks, I
(24:11):
bet I know what you're gonna havefor dinner tomorrow night, Turkey, And
the next night, and the nightafter that and the night after that.
Yes, sir, for the nextweek or so, you're gonna get the
bird in one way or another.But look, if you want to add
a little variety to those turkey meals, how about pepping them up with some
of those wonderful bird's eye quick frozenvegetables. They're all so good. All
so easy to prepare, really apleasure to serve. So how about getting
(24:34):
some tomorrow. Just make sure thoughthat the packages who pick say bird's Eye
clear as anything on the label,because there are many brands of frosted foods,
but only one bird's Eye. OnlyBird's Eye give you that famous bird's
Eye garden freshness, that bird's Eyeuniform top quality every time. So for
the better buy and frosted foods,better buy Bird's Eye. Hellou y'all,
(25:14):
hellolu y'ad. Come you center heatheraround, hallolu, hallou, Oh you
center a lad whether worried forever arefree? Come you sinners and show follow
(25:44):
me, but get your trouble.Just get happy, get back to chase
all your cares to wait. Hellllelujah, come on, get happy, Get
ready before the judgment, stay theson shouting. Come on, get happy.
The Lord is waiting to take yourname. Helllulah, come on,
(26:07):
get happy. Break goal into thepromise land, where cattle cross the river,
wash your sims away on the tide. It's all so peaceful on the
other side. I forget your trouble. If just get happiness, you better
chase all the cares and way telllujah, come on, get happy, get
(26:33):
ready, it's all the judgments thingsand cross the river sim time. It's
all so on the other side.I forget your trouble, just get happy.
(26:59):
That's a chase song. Cares away, Halloa, come on, that's
happy, get ready. All thejudgment day, Hellou, Hello, Lou,
get ready called the Judgment Day.Thank you, Thanks Gradcho Mark.
(27:40):
We had a lot of fun andyou're always welcome, and folks, that
makes for curtain time for now.I hope you enjoyed our Bird's open house
offering so much tonight that you'll allbe back with us at the same time
next week, when our guess willbe Alan Land Girl. In the meanwhile,
keep well, keep hatty, andkeep those war burns. Night,
(28:03):
little bus hey friends. Next Thursday, tune in a half hour earlier to
hear from our good friends George Burnsand Gracie Allen along with Meredith Wilson and
Bill Goodwin. That's a half hourbefore our birds I open House starring Dinah
Shore with our special guest Helen Ladd, along with Robert Hammadlan his orchestra Ken
(28:29):
laying the four hits, the chorusand Me Too. Groucho marxkintoone be seen
in the Marx Brothers picture Adventure inCasablanca. Bird's Eye Open House starring Dinah
Shore, is written by Hard Harrisand Sid Zelinka. Speak speak for game.
(29:00):
My's dog owner will nourish every inchof a dog with gain g A
I n ees Because gain Complete mealcontains meatmeal, vegetable cereals, everything.
Dogs turned on the need for strong, sturdy bodies and red blooded vitality.
That's why Gaines Dog Male has beena favorite with veterinarians for over sixteen years.
Feed your dog games today, He'llspeak speak for game Americans. I'm
(29:25):
just selling dog pools. This isa national dog captain company.
Bird's Eye Frosted Foods Present Bird's EyeOpen House starring Dinah Shore, but their
special guests grout Joe Mark, No, he has done. I didn't wanna
see you again, but I did. I didn't wanna phone you again,
but I did. I had acertain feeling for you that bothered me.
(00:34):
I had to find out what ahidden time to see. I didn't wanna
hug you again, but I didn'twanna kiss you again, but I did.
(00:56):
I must have been who's that ametal doing what I did. I
didn't wanna fall in line, butI did. I must have been to
(01:27):
fair meal what I did. Ididn't wanna fall in line, but I
did. Good even ladies and gentlemen, Hi you fellows. Oh, I'm
(01:53):
fine and I'm happy Thanksgiving to allof you. That means you Robin m.
Jordan and are uncacod hand in ourforest and all your nice people who
are visiting our Bird's Eye Open Housethis evening. Oh, I didn't mean
to exclude you, Harry. Howare you? Oh? Finding a very
thank you hanksgiving to you? Larry? Well? Anyhow, thank you,
(02:15):
Harry. You know this is myfavorite holiday? Oh mine too? See
every Thanksgiving day. I'm bursting withsentiment, brotherly love, convisuality and stuffing.
But Diana, who else are youhaving over for Thanksgiving dinner? Well,
my aunt Sarah Lukopepa is visiting mefrom Alabama, and I thought maybe
Groucher Marks might be a good dinnercompagnon for it. Oh, sure,
(02:38):
Groucho is coming over to say whereis it? I don't know, but
I wish he'd hurried. See Grouchertold me not to buy a turkey cook
he's bringing one over ground, coolbrownch always bringing the turkey. Yeah,
I wonder where are you? WellI didn't win at that time. I'll
(03:02):
have another chance on the turkey.Mister Mark's only five cent, you though,
by all means. But what getsme yet is that they're actually our
suckers. We'll go into a storeand pay ten and twelve dollars for a
takey when you can step up toa cigar count. And we went on
a punch board for a nickel.All right, Ed, I'll take another
chance. Hear you're let's see,I think I'll punch this one. Mister
(03:23):
Mark's congratulations you won the thirty.Oh, I'm always lucky. How much
try owe you one hundred and fiftythree dollars and forty two You wait right
here, mister Marks, I'll bringyou your proud I still can't understand how
a guy in his right mind we'llgo into a store and punk down ten
and twelve dollars for a takey agratia Mark. You're a shrewd little rasc
(03:45):
of you. Now you just sayright where you are, Sarah Lou.
You must be tired from your tips. Just relax while Harry and I said,
he said the table, thank you, Johnah, Honey, I hope
the trip was pleasant. Well,it would have been pleasant enough if it
wasn't for those nicety old customed manWhy would you believe it? They went
(04:10):
through all my loss, and theyeven in sitted on seeing my little ole
tatport. Well, but you only, but if you only came up from
little old Birmingham. Where did theygo through your luggy to examine your passport?
Have to Mason Dixon line? Ohno, dozens, the table looks
(04:31):
nice. Let's see, Harry,you'll sit over here, and I'll sit
over here. Grassol fiddles there,and aunt Cyrlu you'll sit over here.
Yeah. Well gee, I'm hungry. I wish Graucho Marx would get here
so we could put that turkey inthe oven too. Oh I hope that's
him. Well, Groucho, howdo you do? It's about time.
Sorry to keep you waiting, butall of you I say now now I
(04:57):
mean happy Thanksgiving In French, well, Bessa may move show to you come
outside and say that bad enough tosay it in here, you know?
In Spanish strout show that means whereis the turkey? Von zeal? Keep
your shird on? Keep your shipnever mind that's looking at that shad you
(05:20):
better take it off. Dinah,I want to present you with the most
beautiful take you've ever seen. Whereis it right here? Hymn? Come
on in wait to try putting thatin the ice box? What turkey?
(05:40):
This is ridiculous. I don't believeit. You will if you started plucking
your tail feathers. Well, howin the world you know this turkey looks
like a fellow I used to playpool with him, Paul Tucky? Well,
how in the world did you everget this turkey over here in the
street car? Well, job anytrouble, don't old lady got off and
gave him a seat. He usedto be a turkey. To Rachel Rattle,
(06:08):
everything else has cooked. Who's goingto kill the turkey? Stop?
Don't make my wife kill hi?And takey. Stop bad living with him.
You're not kidding. It frightens him. Look at look at this.
(06:30):
This is the first time I eversaw goose pimples on a turkey. Take
it easy, him, and takeit easy. Take I am in,
don't know the do it. Getoff your knees. I'm gonna eat them
later. Shine of charge, Lady, the chow I'm in. I haven't
(07:02):
stop bowing. She means me,O gras, I'm really sorry. I
want you to meet my aunt,sarahlu Culpepper. She's from Alabama. How
do you do? It's a pleasure, man. I'm always proud to meet
a daughter the Old South. Afterall, I'm a son of the Old
South. I come from Florida.Oh thanks, but I wouldn't mind to
(07:24):
drink a sad enough excuse me,excuse me, Aunt Carl Lute, but
I've got the settlers now, GRAUSO, how are we going to k?
I L L the K T UR K E Y. It doesn't spell
very well. It's very simple we'rejust cut his ah E A d O
(07:44):
F F. All right, allright, you don't have to spell things
out in front of me. Idon't want any of your old candy,
anywood binzel. If you are thirtyeight more points, you could get out
of kindergarten now, So I please, we get to do something. The
(08:07):
rest of the food is all cooked. Yeah, and if the cranberry sauce
stands much longer, the taste willbe killed. Just a curry purry.
There's no holding that. Take ittonight. Say the word killing from well,
(08:31):
that's the last time I get totake it. I went to college.
(08:54):
It's adful, oh you and myh it's good to have you fall
again. God, I used toworry when you didn't ride wait said for
(09:33):
the moment every day in my jeez, it's good to kick you close to
(09:58):
man the news how long? Souh pay let's put the gould me hug
me, kiss me, hold mayhug me, kiss me like you said,
(10:22):
dafl. It's adful. Oh inmy own again, it's you close
(10:48):
to me. Name never knew howlong a pay study go for me?
(11:09):
Kiss me once more? Oh me, help me, kiss me like a
dear deep. It's good offul ohin my own Oh thanks, gotcha?
(11:56):
Way, Harry, he's putting hymenin the kitchen, taking in another room.
We might be able to think thisthing out, Oh, Harry,
Harry. I hope he determined didn'tmake any too much trouble about being a
lot in the kitchen. Oh no, not a bit. As a matter
of fact, that bird is mostcooperative. You know that test not dressing
you made. He just sucked himselfwith it. Well, which one of
(12:18):
you is going to prepare the turkeysfor cooking? Well? Well, well,
don't look at me. I amso tender hearted. I feel faint
when I cut the pages of abook. And what about you, mister
Mark? Why I couldn't I I'veleaned a love hyman. He's like a
brother to me. As a matterof fact, he does look like Chikov.
(12:41):
That there's more white meat on checkout. Well, it's up to you,
Brasco. When I invited you toa Thanksgiving dinner, you promised to
supply the turkey. Now, wellI did, But I can't help it
if I'm not a killer hate Dina. I've got an idea, you know,
I've got connection? What about it. I get a mobster from town
to pump him off. Oh,don't be silly when you Yankees call yourself
(13:05):
man. Why that trooky's neck wouldhave been wrung long ago in Alabama.
I'll be right back were going.I just want to warn Hyman I to
fly side for the winter. Oh, I'm losing patient. Something's got to
be done about that turkey. Now, Groucho, I'm gonna give you and
Harry thirty seconds to think of something. I love it, Dinah, but
I can't think of a thing tohold it. Hold it old. Wait
(13:26):
a minute, everybody, I'm thinkingof something. What are you thinking about?
Green bean? Green bee bee birdtie click, frozen green bean breaks?
Walking around in the kitchen down,honey, I'll settle the whole problem.
Give them to the foot man whokills that turkey. I will give
(13:50):
a great bee hit to the ficeman who kills that turkey. You will
give a great big kitchen. Yes, popes, in that kitchen stands a
turkey named Hyman, who will bethe face takey on record to live long
enough to collect source of security.I realize you're a yanous, but even
(14:13):
Frue, I've never seen anything foodfruit, Oh right, just waiting to
try those bird's eye stringless Oh shewalked into that one, It certainly did,
or any other bird's eye vegetable arefruits. They're the precious, tasting,
most perfect food you ever ate.That's because the bird's eye folks really
know how to grow and prepare goodfood. That's most careful, you know,
so pussy that you can always besure of getting perfectly delicious, clean
(14:35):
and uniform food all the time.Believe me, any one of those birds
eye fruits are vegetables would win thefirst prize of the beauty concept. I
can just see it the senest Atlanticcity as the cameras are clicking test.
That's miss Stringbean of nineteen forty five. Our shapely legs and eyes are cross
and she's wearing a quick cross andbaiting stuff. Yes, And as I
(14:56):
wink at her, she gives methe eyes, the bird's eye. I
want to get it on that racket. He bless your little fat heart and
my little fat viza. Yes,really, folks, if you'll give your
food stores frosted food case the bird'seye, you're gonna get some mighty good
(15:16):
food. Because you know, ifyou want a better buy and frosted food.
Better buy bird's eye. Look,look, fellas, I've just gone
through the cookos again and it saysnothing on how to cook a live pat.
You know, what are you gonnado about it? Oh, my
dear dear husband, Colonel Blanchet,were only here. Here's a lot to
handle that turkey, your husband,Colonel Blanchet. Yes, you were married
(15:37):
for twenty years. Oh what abeautiful union. He died a short time
ago. That guy didn't die,He's succeeded from the union. This is
the Jerome current spot tonight, assunedfrom one score of the innumerable scores he
(16:03):
wrote. Lots of couples call ittheir own song, but it belongs to
anybody who's ever been in love.The crom the spring time that may so
(16:26):
long, while long, all thebreathless curl, the evening that trembles on
(16:48):
the brain of a loveless song.You are that, my sat The seriest
thing I know are what you boughtmy not being arm for the bold and
(17:29):
so know that moment divide when allthe things you are are the day happy
(18:15):
arm will hold you. And sothat moment when all the things you no
(19:06):
Oh aunt Sarah, I'm so embarrassedafter you came all the way up for
a Thanksgiving Jonner, this had tohappen. My day is ruy. Yes,
Johnna Cho, I mustn't, butI'm terribly disappointed. This day means
a lot to me. Well,I can still remember when I was a
little girl, the first Thanksgiving JinnI ate with the grown ups. Father
had the drumstick, mother had thewings, and I got the turkey.
(19:29):
Neg I got a turkey neck hicolor, and nobody I notice it,
Groucho, that's no way to talkto my aunt. I can't help it,
Dinah, I keep thinking she's heruncle. Oh fuckenough of this spot.
Where does it say that in here? Right now? F op pop?
(19:51):
That's a funny word. Well,you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm going in there and finish offthat turkey. Somebody's got to scrout you
if you gotta hatch it in yourpocket now, but take this egg the
Takey'll hatch it. I'm not responsiblefor that. The turkey wrote that joke
himself. Oh, Harry, I'mvery proud of you. I'm glad there's
(20:15):
one man here who had some curry. Well, thank you, Dinah.
Now, I'm going into that therekitchen, and when I get finisheda that
there turkey, he'll be ready forthe roasted I'll be right back home.
We'll all be eating food Hymen's sake. I hope the end comes fast,
(20:37):
well, Hymen and turkey heaven.How may he rest in pieces? And
I wish I had wanted a pizza? Well? Thanks, Oh boy,
Harry, are you finished finis?I'll say I'm finissa. Darn turkey.
Throw me two falls out of three. You should have gotten a half Nelson
on his jebilet. I still betterI have gibbled on his melton. That's
(21:03):
a two way joke. You canhave it either way you want it.
Geez, you ensure everything around here. Nobody too had at last turkey,
and I think that only yesterday,mister Krossmeyer, the pot you wanted to
sell me a turkey, and Iturned him down. I know we'll leaf
(21:25):
take it, yet, give methat phone. She dies like a dog.
Hello, oh no, hello,hello, mister Krossmeyer. This is
(21:48):
Rachel Mars. Have you got totake he left in the shop that you
could sell me. You will haveone weighs one hundred and sixty five pounds
Crossmeyer. Take your wife off thescale, thank you your children, and
take them off the scale. Girl, I just want to take it.
All you've got is a live one. Oh never mind, but just out
(22:11):
of curiosity, is it a maletachy or a female? A female?
Well, if she's not going steady, I can get her a hot day
for Saturday night by by? Well, all right, dinah, I guess
I'll have to go in there anddo away with heyman, I feel like
a Benedict Dnald, but I'll doit that a boy, grouchy old man.
But wait a minute, I can'tface home unless I have a little
something to brace me up. Well, I just the liberty of mixing a
(22:33):
bowl of pie. Showing up.You will find it right there in the
kitchen. Show enough that, goout to brace you rock. We got
us at seven Magnolia and her bruttlepot sounds good? How's it made?
It's mighty complicated. You take abig bowl, you pour in five or
the bourbon? What else? That'sall? I'm in't here? I can't
(23:00):
Hey, where's that bowl of punch? Well? I ride right here on
the kitchen table. The bull isab but there's nothing in it. You're
right. The bowl is empty,Aunt, Sarah Lou, did you the
whole thing? Get it on?Well, don't look at me. I
didn't touch it. Well, somebodymust have drunk it. I wonder who
(23:22):
it could have been. That's alla drunken turkey. It's the last brawl
after all the plans I've made forthis Thanksgiving days in it there's nothing for
(23:44):
me to do but go in thecorner. And I don't talk that way.
I know why you would be theenemy of every hostess in America today,
and millions of homes people are havingplane takey, stuff, takey,
smoke, takey, baked takey,and roast takey. You are the only
woman in the United States who havepickout tiking. Hey, folks, I
(24:11):
bet I know what you're gonna havefor dinner tomorrow night, Turkey, And
the next night, and the nightafter that and the night after that.
Yes, sir, for the nextweek or so, you're gonna get the
bird in one way or another.But look, if you want to add
a little variety to those turkey meals, how about pepping them up with some
of those wonderful bird's eye quick frozenvegetables. They're all so good. All
so easy to prepare, really apleasure to serve. So how about getting
(24:34):
some tomorrow. Just make sure thoughthat the packages who pick say bird's Eye
clear as anything on the label,because there are many brands of frosted foods,
but only one bird's Eye. OnlyBird's Eye give you that famous bird's
Eye garden freshness, that bird's Eyeuniform top quality every time. So for
the better buy and frosted foods,better buy Bird's Eye. Hellou y'all,
(25:14):
hellolu y'ad. Come you center heatheraround, hallolu, hallou, Oh you
center a lad whether worried forever arefree? Come you sinners and show follow
(25:44):
me, but get your trouble.Just get happy, get back to chase
all your cares to wait. Hellllelujah, come on, get happy, Get
ready before the judgment, stay theson shouting. Come on, get happy.
The Lord is waiting to take yourname. Helllulah, come on,
(26:07):
get happy. Break goal into thepromise land, where cattle cross the river,
wash your sims away on the tide. It's all so peaceful on the
other side. I forget your trouble. If just get happiness, you better
chase all the cares and way telllujah, come on, get happy, get
(26:33):
ready, it's all the judgments thingsand cross the river sim time. It's
all so on the other side.I forget your trouble, just get happy.
(26:59):
That's a chase song. Cares away, Halloa, come on, that's
happy, get ready. All thejudgment day, Hellou, Hello, Lou,
get ready called the Judgment Day.Thank you, Thanks Gradcho Mark.
(27:40):
We had a lot of fun andyou're always welcome, and folks, that
makes for curtain time for now.I hope you enjoyed our Bird's open house
offering so much tonight that you'll allbe back with us at the same time
next week, when our guess willbe Alan Land Girl. In the meanwhile,
keep well, keep hatty, andkeep those war burns. Night,
(28:03):
little bus hey friends. Next Thursday, tune in a half hour earlier to
hear from our good friends George Burnsand Gracie Allen along with Meredith Wilson and
Bill Goodwin. That's a half hourbefore our birds I open House starring Dinah
Shore with our special guest Helen Ladd, along with Robert Hammadlan his orchestra Ken
(28:29):
laying the four hits, the chorusand Me Too. Groucho marxkintoone be seen
in the Marx Brothers picture Adventure inCasablanca. Bird's Eye Open House starring Dinah
Shore, is written by Hard Harrisand Sid Zelinka. Speak speak for game.
(29:00):
My's dog owner will nourish every inchof a dog with gain g A
I n ees Because gain Complete mealcontains meatmeal, vegetable cereals, everything.
Dogs turned on the need for strong, sturdy bodies and red blooded vitality.
That's why Gaines Dog Male has beena favorite with veterinarians for over sixteen years.
Feed your dog games today, He'llspeak speak for game Americans. I'm
(29:25):
just selling dog pools. This isa national dog captain company.
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