Jingle All The Way | Not That Bad - That Bad Media

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So we can agree that of all the reindeer, Vixen
must be the slutty one.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Right, certainly the oddest about.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Sanda thought, so he's like, oh, give me that one.
I think I'll call you Vixen.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
What what are we talking about today, mister mister gave you.
We've alluded to it a few times. I have a
little bit of background for our audience here, but why
don't you introduce him to our topic today?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
We're talking about a Christmas film that Connor nominated for
the show. I believe I believe you've mentioned this as
a as a possible subject for an episode since the
beginning of the podcast. I think this has been floated.
And you know, the Holidays season is upon us, and

(01:02):
we have talked about the remake, the first remake of
Black Christmas, and now we want to talk about something
a little bit more appropriate, but something that's also a
little more disturbing to me personally. Nineteen ninety six is
Jingle all the way. No, when I say disturbing, I
mean I mean the let's say, the kind of moral

(01:25):
implications of the characters here. I mean our main hero,
mister good guy breaks into his neighbor's house and nearly
burns it down in his quest to get you know,
a toy for a son, because I guess that's the

(01:46):
only way he can think of to earn his son's
affection because he's he's no good father. Obviously, I'm playing
playing that up a little bit. But no, we're talking
about Jingle all the Way, a movie I had not
seen before, very familiar with it because I am a
big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger. We are a very we're

(02:06):
a pro Arnold channel.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, we very much.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, yeah, very much. So that said, my blind spot
with Arnold is, or rather my blind spot with Arnold
would be his comedies, his comedic body of work. I'm
talking about his his all out comedies, not his you know,
action comedies or things that you know, really play with

(02:33):
comedy like Kindergarten Cop or No. This is even though
there's a little bit of action hero tropes that they
that they give to Old Arnold to play with. This
is a family comedy and the first the first of
his of his you know, the first time he did that, right.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, because see, I mean he did he went the
comedy route with like Twin and such. But that was
that was before this. To my knowledge, this was ninety six,
and so this was, I believe the first time. I mean,
you could call Kindergarten Cops sort of a family comedy
movie if you. I mean, I grew up watching it.
I don't know if it was necessarily appropriate. I don't

(03:17):
remember anything too overtly inappropriate. Necessarily not too much for
a kid, especially like me. But yeah, I mean, look,
you've broched a topic here. Jingle All the Way released
in ninety six, directed by Flintstones movie director Brian Levant
and produced by Chris Columbus. This is a fourteen ninety
two picture. It was actually partially the script was rewritten

(03:41):
by Chris Columbus just before starting, though he did not
credit himself as such. This movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, along
with Sindbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, and of course Jake Lloyd,
one of the most divisive child actors of all time.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Again, You're not the word I would use here, Okay,
Jake did nothing to know, he.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Did nothing wrong. In fact, I am going to say
a lot of things, a lot of things about Jake
Lloyd throughout the run time of this episode. I got
a lot to say there, but he's Those are far
from the only people in the movie. We get appearances
from Martin Mole who recently passed away Rest in peace
to a very talented actor in Martin Mole, Harvey Horman,

(04:22):
Chris Parnell, Jim Belushi, Paul The Big Show White, Vern Schroyer,
Curtis Armstrong, and Lisa Simpson actress Yardley Smith. So we
have a lot of people making appearances throughout the runtime
of this movie. Let's see if it helps it all. Now,
you had familiarity with this movie, but you had not

(04:42):
seen it before. So what are kind of the things
that you heard? Because my perspective on this movie is
way different. So what have you heard about this ahead
of time that prepared you for this viewing?

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Now I heard that this was one of Arnold's low points.
You know, this is one of his more moments. This
is at a very interesting time in his career where
he had peaked as an action hero. I would argue
he peaked with Terminator two, both in terms of you know,
box office just pure star power. And I don't want

(05:17):
to say he's coasting, but he's making these a lotteral
moves to see if he can take his appeal to
let's say, other spaces, primarily the family friendly PG not
necessarily action oriented comedy space. And this was one of

(05:38):
the most successful, I believe at the box office, but
in turn one of the most damaging to his reputation. Now,
not as damaging as the movie that would come a
year after this, Batman and Robin, but.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Which we've talked about on the channel, by the way.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Which we've talked about. And I don't have many kind
words to say about Arnold's foremant as mister Freeze, And
I think I just avoided Jingle all the Way because
it is emblematic of this era of his career that
I have no use for, right, And you know, just
the word of mouth was you know, uh, nobody had

(06:19):
ever recommend the movie to me until until we started
this show and you came along and nominated this. Now
I didn't know if you nominated it because you actually
thought it was it was, you know, a worthy movie
of defense or for shits and giggles, because sometimes we

(06:39):
sometimes we do that, We do sometimes do that. Yeah,
So what's your what's your history with Jingle all the Way?

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, Jingle all the Way was along with Kindergarten Cop.
That was what I knew Arnold Schwarzenegger as growing up.
Batman and Robin in there too. Those were the three
movies I grew up watching from Arnold. Obviously, later on
i'd see you know, Terminator two, you know, probably when
I was about nine or ten, but like early on

(07:08):
in my life, this came out two years before I
was born. Batman and Robin came out the year before
I was born. Kindergarten Cop was obviously earlier on. So
those were sort of my references on my gateway to
Arnold Schwarzenegger. This Believe it or Not Jingle All the
Way was a yearly watch for me and my family
growing up. This was a beloved film. I don't know

(07:32):
if by everybody in my household, but certainly from us kids,
Me and my brother. Growing up, we watched this movie
a lot, and it's a movie that I've actually continued
to watch as I've gotten into my adulthood as a
part of the you know, yearly holiday tradition. And it
was an easy selection. I mean, when we first started
talking about the concept of this show, we both were like,

(07:55):
let's come up with a list of movies and I
came up with a list of twenty films that I
thought would be fun to cover, some of which we've covered,
some of which we haven't. But this was one of
those original ten. Actually this was This was one of
the first ten movies that I picked for this show,
and I just wanted a chance to revisit a childhood

(08:16):
institution with my with my good buddy here, my co host.
I actually didn't know until I believe. We had a
couple of conversations about what we could do on the show.
The first Christmas special we did, which was Santa Sleigh.
We released that this year off of Patreon. Around that time,
we talked about doing Jingle All the Way. And that's

(08:39):
when I found out that you had never seen it before.
And I just remembered right now. So I think a
lot of interesting conversation.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
I watched it for the first time last night. No,
I was very familiar with Jingle all the Way. There
are a couple of moments and exchanges that I would
say have become memes. Oh, it's something akin to memes.
And I watched the Nostalgia Critic review of Jingle all
the Way.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Oh, okay, So I was.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
Very familiar with this movie's story, not just in broad strokes,
but beat for beat. So and unfortunately we have to
have an uncomfortable conversation about how that whole era of
online reviews actually did kind of ruin movies for the viewers,
even though people like the Nostalgia Critic said that what

(09:29):
they were doing was protected by fair use. I don't know,
that's pretty dicey to me, because if you, if you
trump kate the entirety of Jingle all the Way for
me that I know it beat for beat after a
twenty minute video and kind of Rob, you know, Rob,

(09:50):
I willingly watched the video, but you take that away,
whereas a you know, Roger Ebers review of Jingle all
the Way will not will not kind of spoiled the
actual experience of watching it, even though he's giving me
his opinion.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
So, I'm coming at Jingle all the Way from a
place of a fresh watch, but strong familiarity, and it
defined a lot of expectations. And the expectation that I
had is that this was going to be a toy

(10:27):
commercial for a toy that does not exist, a star
vehicle for a man who you can make the case
that he was pretty overexposed by nineteen ninety six, and
you could definitely make the case that he has no
business being cast in this kind of film where where

(10:49):
he has to say more words than I'll be back
or some something monoslabic like that. But what I found,
and this is the headline to me, is that this
really is an actual targeted satire at the boom of

(11:10):
consumerism that really took hold of families in the eighties
and nineties, and it was also a really interesting time
capsule for the nineties. Specifically, there are a couple of
references here that have aged in fascinating ways. This is
a family film in which Rodney Kings.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Evoked yeah yeah, and Jesse Jackson.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
They bring up Jesse Jackson, the Judabamber.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yeah oh yeah. I mean, look, there's gonna be a
lot of things to touch on. I think, honestly, there's
no better way to discuss this movie than to kind
of take the audience through it, sort of beat by beat,
like you described there. Hopefully you've seen this movie. If
you haven't and you want a totally fresh experience without
any exposure, I don't First of all, I don't know

(12:01):
how you've made it this far without having that, but
feel free to pause the episode, go watch the movie,
and then listen to what we have to say. If
you're on the fence about it, listen to what we
have to say anyway, and then give it a watch.
However you want to do this, you can do it.
We just encourage that you do. Check out the movies
for yourselves inform your own opinions about them. So, without

(12:21):
further ado, I think we get into the movie and
jump in right where the movie jumps in with shots
of Turboman, so we get introduced to this Turboman character.
Very Power Rangers ask, I'd say, you know.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
It's Rangers reject. Basically, it's clear I would not have
fucked with Turboman As a kid, I didn't have very
high standards, but I think that would have been a
little too good for Turbo Man. But I feel like
I grew up, you know, post Power Rangers, where the
standard had been had been raised for there.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Was some there was some you know, it's kind of
funny because we we sort of reached we were born
at almost like the best and worst time for stuff
like this, you know, where like if you had family
members that were really into it, you were exposed to it.
I don't really remember a lot of Power Rangers as
a kid. Like, it's just not something that was really
on much in my household when I was growing up.

(13:19):
I probably would have eaten this up though, to be honest,
because it's like it's like Power Rangers meets a Marvel character,
and we do get some allusions to Marvel characters later
on in Jamie's bedroom and such, but it's basically that, like,
imagine if like Captain America and Iron Man were existed
to get as one character in the Power Rangers universe.

(13:40):
That's what Turbo Man is. He's saving the son of
the President played by Harvey Korman. Really weird cameo from
Harvey Korman here, one of my favorite actors truthfully makes
an appearance early on, and it's just this cheesy mid
nineties like action kid show.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
What aout this opening? Well, the opening was was funny.
It was more in on the joke than I was expecting.
I think that's when I started to perk up and
thought that maybe maybe this movie, you know, had some
something up as sleeve, because you know, you see this

(14:24):
commercial and one of my favorite jokes is established here
that kids love Turboman and fucking hate his sidekick.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
He hate Boosters so much.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
And then and then who else is watching the commercial
but a very young Jake Lloyd. I don't know how
old he was. He looks five or six.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
He was pretty young around this time. This was This
would have been the year before they began like principal
photography on Phantom Menace, So it's not far off it.
This rip has been in development. It's gone from Star
Wars the beginning to the Phantom Menace. Qui Gon is
now obi Wan instead of obi Wan being Qui Gon.
For Star Wars fans, you'll understand what that means. Uh,

(15:11):
But we see this kid, he's very excited to be
watching Turboman. Clearly a cultural icon of this universe that
we enter into.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
He has an iron grip on the Oh yeah, hearts
and minds of children. This is.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
This isn't totally out of the question, though, I mean
that this was They said that this movie was kind
of based off the wave, very specifically of the Cabbage
Patch kids and how absolutely they had a grip on
the world and how parents were reacting to these things. So,
h yeah, this isn't totally out of the norm yet

(15:52):
we haven't yet in the movie Gone out of the Norm,
nothing that happened in real life.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yes, yeah, so so Jake Lloyd is this kid. Rita
Wilson is his mother, and his father is Arnold Schwarzenegger,
who is a businessman of some business that we do
not learn anything about.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
It's like a fabric sales company or something. He's talking
about the fabric being the wrong color. I'm guessing furniture
sales maybe something along those lines.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, they spent two seconds trying to come up with
what I do.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
I do like that. He's just a businessman, you know,
he's just a business guy.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, he's a business guy with a thick Austrian accent.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
That's gonna come into play later. He's the only man
in Minnesota with a thick Austrian accent.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
And immediately we know that he is. His personal life
is dominated by his work. He talks to his wife
the same way he talks to his customers. And Arnold
is about to miss Jake Lloyd's karate class and he

(17:05):
he leaves at the last minute, gets caught in traffic,
has the first of many run ins with this grumpy
old police officer, a very all cops are bad. Tone
is set right away.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah, it's it's set in a very I like. I
kind of like it though, because it's set in a
way where it's like it's it's funny, like sort of
like the Way Home Alone did it? You know when
when he shows up at the house and knocks on
the door and he's like there's nobody home, telling him
to count their kids again, and it's like, oh, what
a dick, Like like you think that about this guy,
but like he is technically just doing like Arnold broke

(17:38):
the law. He's doing his job, broke the.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Law the first time of many times, throughout.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
The first of many Yes, Arnold is.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
A danger to society and he should not be a
free man.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Dudey and sindbad should both be in I don't care
what he does at the end of the movie. We'll
get into that. But yes, he gets this cop pulls
him over. He tells the copies late to his son's
karate class. Uh, and the cop, you know, basically thinking
that Arnold's trying to get off easy just because he's
late for his kids thing, which makes him go through
a field sobriety test, which I'll be honest, I could

(18:13):
not do the alphabet backwards stone cold sober, so you
know I'd be in guaring.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
To Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot. No, he was the governor of
the largest economy in the country, but he could not
precide the alphabet backwards or maybe frontwards.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
You know, he started frontwards, but I'm not sure he
could have finished.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
No.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I think he was struggling to get up to see.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah, but yeah, we move on very quickly from that
after he asked him to recite backwards. He gets to
the gym where this was happening, but it's it's empty,
they're cleaning it out. He gets home to a very
disappointed wife and son. You know this, it's it becomes
clear and I kind of like this. I like when
movies set this up in a way where it's like

(18:56):
you can see that the dad clearly cares, right, he
clearly wants to be there, his his life is just
dominated by his work. It's a pretty common trope of
the time, but I kind of like how this one
sets it up because the wife's not being unfair yet,
you know, like she's reasonably upset. She hasn't stopped talking
to him or been like, this is why I've been
staying at my parents house. You know, nothing feels for it.

(19:17):
It's just like, Okay, you did it again. Fix this
with your son, because you don't have to apologize to me.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
But you know who is there for little Jamie Lloyd
is is scumbag neighbor filmed a department.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
We need to talk about ted.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
I wrote that Phil Hartman sad face. I can't find
the words to capture how how much I lament the
passing of Phil Hartman. I believe this is one of
definitely one of his biggest movies. Don't know how many

(19:56):
films that he started in. Most people, of course, will
know him from Saturday Night Live. People who are in
the know know that he was a co creator on
the Pee Wee Herman character.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Oh my God. He was everywhere and his importance cannot
be understated to a comedy in the eighties and nineties,
like he co wrote Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Obviously one
of the most popular Saturday Night Live cast members of
all time. And he's He's been in a lot of movies.
He's just not had as big of a role in
most movies. He's a very good supporting character, a great

(20:29):
voice actor, simp.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, he's the ultimate character actor, and that's why he
was considered the glue. He's an incredibly generous performer, which
is insane for somebody with his talent, but that he
uses his talent to support people around him. He manages
to make Arnold Schwarzenegger better by Oh yeah, acting opposite

(20:53):
of him.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Well, he's like an evil Ned Flanders. Like that's what
he is in this movie.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
He's an evil, horny Ned Flanders.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah. I wouldn't say he's evil, he's he's just a dick.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
You know, he's pretty scummy. His yea, his his come
on to readA Wilson at the end. It's it's oh,
it's stty creepy.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
It does prett weird turn there.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, creepy in a way that's so palatable for for
a movie that's aimed at this kind of audience. Yeah,
because that's how much control Phil Hartman has over his performance.
So uh yeah, it's just uh, two two things that

(21:36):
I can say. Phil Hartman was a legend, and uh
it's just awful that he was. He was. He was
taken from us only years. A few years after his
performance here in a set of circumstances that I don't
want to get into because they are really too bleak.
But if you're if you weren't familiar with the the

(21:59):
work Phil Hartman before, do yourself favor. Go check out
News Radio. Even though you'll have to suffer through Joe Rogan,
a young Joe Rogan.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Got through a lot of things on that show. There's
a lot of things you got to suffer through.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, Andy Dick, but that Phil Hartman is worth it.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, And I mean and and just just do yourself
a favor in google them and just see some of
the characters he played on SNL. Go back and watch
some of the sketches. There's a ton of them available
on YouTube, so you don't have to sit through, you know,
ten plus years of the show. He played several characters
on Pee Wee's Playhouse, so if anybody grew up on that,
then they know he was involved in that. Yeah, just

(22:41):
just like an absolute gem, I think, an an unsung
hero of like comedy honestly of any era. His stuff
holds up still today. And this is this character is
to me a perfect encapsulation of why he's so underrated,
because he he does there is a genuineness to him

(23:02):
that like you can see that some of the things
he's saying makes sense right, Like later on he'll make
a dig about how you know, Arnold seems to be
very particular about certain things, but he's not very particular
about being there for his family. And he's it's slow
blows and stuff, but he's not off base.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And yeah, that's what makes him a grad villain, the
perfect foil for Arnold. They really are the opposites in
so many ways. And you know, he is the person
with the most serious comedy credentials in the cast, and
he's a Sinbad.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Sinbad's up there too, I said the most, the most
Skid's not far, but but phil Harmon is obviously far
and above everybody else. I think that's what you mean.
But yeah, the Sinbad's also Sinbad's no slouch. I'll say that.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
I'm not saying he's a slouch. Look, I remember seeing
the first kid uh in second grade when when we
had a substitute teacher, and instead of bothering to teach
us anything, they just put on the first kid. So
me and sin Beg mean sinn Bed, we go back
and I bet that his version of Kazam would have

(24:12):
been better than the actual Shaquille O'Neill Shazam. You know
you probably live in the in the worst timeline.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah. Yeah, But we're introduced to Ted by Phil played
by Phil Hartman. He is on the roof putting up
Christmas lights and he goes he turns to Arnold. Arnold says,
what are you doing on my roof? And Phil Hartman goes, Oh, well,
you didn't bother to put up any lights, so I
thought i'd spread some holiday cheer for you. And Arnold

(24:42):
is not happy with this. He he is antagonized by
this man. It's it clearly sets up that this is
a regular occurrence, that this has been happening. This is
not the first time that these guys are having a
run in, and it it comes across really well. I
have to give Arnold credit there too, because his side
of that works perfectly with Phil's side of it.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah. Do we want to really break down the meaty
subject of Arnold's performance now or do we want to
wait till the end? Because I have a lot to
say as we deconstruct Arnold Schwarzenegger's performance in this movie.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
I think we should get to it just before we
talk about to the parade, because I think that's the
moment where it kind of goes a little more off
the rails, and I think most much of his performance
will a little more, yeah, just a bit more. But
most of his performance that you could draw from this
movie happens before that sequence. So we'll sort of have

(25:45):
a pause there to talk about Arnold's performance as a whole.
But in this moment afterwards, he gets inside. He's trying
to make it up to his son, and his son
says the only thing he wants that'll make up for
all of this is a Tobo mendal. He wants a
Tobo mendal. He recites the whole commer like I'm sure
you and I did to our parents when we were kids.
For whatever toy. For me, it was definitely like a

(26:06):
wrestling ring play set for you, did you have one
as a kid.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, there there were these spider Man webshooters that yeah,
oh my god, Yeah, I was was pretty rabbit about those. Yeah.
And speaking of of acting and performances, I just want
to take another moment to defend Jake Lloyd. I know
I already said my piece about this poor kid.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Let's talk about him.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
We talked about the Phantom Menace.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
But I was.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Really surprised because he was a little kid. I wasn't
expecting anything. And I'm not going to say he was
doing something like award worthy, but he was good. His
chemistry with Arnold was like, actually really funny, and he's
another person who kind of makes Arnold better when Arnold

(26:52):
is doing that cringy karate routine. I didn't laugh until
they cut to jake Lloyd and face he made, so
we literally bullied jake Lloyd into having schizophrenia. Like the
the amount of grief that I have for this kid
is really overwhelming. It definitely overwhelms anything I have to

(27:16):
say about is about his acting. So having him and
Phil Harmon in the same movie, you know, there's some
dark energy that circulates.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
For sure, and and you know it's a it's a
holiday when I when I watched this, I like to
try to only think of the things that I enjoy
from everybody in this because there's I mean, I mean,
there's there's a lot you could dig into with this.
Uh if you really, if you really wanted to. With
Jake Lloyd, you know, I just want to build off
of what you said there, I think it's it's more
than a good performance. I think this is this is

(27:49):
a great child actor performance. He shows There are times
in this movie where he shows intense sadness in emotion
and he does it really well. There are times where
he shows anger and he does it really well. I think, honestly,
like if you were to watch this and Star Wars,
if you've already seen The Phantom Menace. Okay, if you've
already seen it, you might notice some of the things

(28:12):
that bothered you in the Phantom Menace. But if you
haven't seen it yet, when you see the Phantom Menace,
you're gonna be like, well, this kid was so good
and jingle all the way? Why is why didn't he
say that? But I think you look George Lucas's writing.
We've talked about it. If you want to see our
full thoughts on that, go watch the two times we
talked about The Phantom Menace or the one time we
talked about the Attack of the Clones. Uh. But I

(28:37):
will say this, I think this movie and it's script
do Jake Lloyd a lot of justice, and he does
his fair share to make that character as good as
it can be, and he does a really good job.
He's a believable kid.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
And the movie establishes of things in a very economical,
in a very efficient way. Yeah, because I was watching
another infamous Christmas movie the other day, which I might
encourage us to do, and it's that bad on oh,
and I couldn't believe how much time they were wasting.
I mean, when you're a screenwriter, one of the first

(29:14):
things you're taught is that Act one needs to be
done by page twenty six, you know, minute twenty six. Yea,
So we need we need to establish all of these dynamics.
We need to establish the want, we need to establish
the obstacle, and we need to plant seeds for the
character arcs. And this movie, you know, it does it
in this perfectly gift wrapped fashion. I'm not going to

(29:37):
call it brilliant, but it is very professional, and you know,
it gives a really great framework for what I'm going
to describe as a family friendly Christmas themed After Hours.
Have you seen After Hours?

Speaker 2 (29:55):
By Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Yeah, you know it. It's this twenty four hour period
through hell. It's like Hoofka esque and manic and crazy
and constantly escalating it into more and more bizarre scenarios.
That's how That's how I would describe this movie. And
I'm sure to critics it seems like a little much
or just seemed like this movie was off the rails

(30:20):
and bananas and probably a low brow way, But I
don't know, it's for me, like watching him go through
these kind of episodes in his honesty, it really worked,
you know, in terms of like adhering to the basic

(30:40):
rules of comedy, and one of those rules is escalation.
So he goes to this toy store. That's where he
runs into Sindbad, this disgruntled postal worker. Yes, and they
have a fight for a turboman inside inside the kmart,
and then what do they do after that? Do they

(31:03):
have to go to the Mall of America?

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Well, so, okay, so here's how it progresses. In this part.
We don't have to spend a lot of time on
so we'll just blow past. So basically he did, Jamie
tells him what he wants. He talks to the wife
about how they had this good time in the room,
and then the wife is like, hey, remember when I
told you to buy that toy? Did you do it
and he didn't, but he lies. So the next day
he's like, oh, I'm gonna go out and get it.

(31:26):
I'm going to get it from the office that's where
I left it. But he doesn't have it, so he
goes to a store obviously meets Sindbad. We get some
hilarious stuff from Sinbad talking about the toy cartels, and
it's really really good. I can't do it justice. It's
a rant of epic proportions.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
And let's talk about Sindbad here for a second. One
of the big things I'd heard is that this was
just an embarrassing performance from Sinbad. And I don't know
about you. I've never encountered anyone who's particularly fond for Sindbad,
and they will often cite his performance in this because
I think this might be his the most exposure he's

(32:04):
gotten on this movie.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
I think across across like a more broad demographic, I'd say, so,
I'd say this is like the thing that more people
from all walks of life will know him for.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah, okay, all walks of life. Yeah, here's what I'll
say about Sindbad in this movie. There's a really funny
performance in here. Now, what we do get in the
final cut is still funny. I think they could have
cut some of his longer bits out, which is a problem,
to be fair, that a lot of comedy movies had

(32:41):
back then and they still have today. They just let
these actors improve, because hey, they're really talented comedians, So
why would you, the screenwriter now want them to you know,
not want to use their talent, so outsource the jokes
to them, and then you know, they just have I'm
sure hours of footage of him just riffing with Arnold.

(33:04):
Oh yeah, And and it's hard to cut out a
lot of stuff that you in the editing room thinks
his gold, but to us the audience, it starts to
wear on meal a little too much. I can tell
you some some jokes of his that I loved.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
There are a one of them.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
There's a ton of them. There's a ton of them.
I mean, we'll talk about probably the best, the best
gag in the whole movie later on, when he when
he friends people with with a bomb.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah and it certainly yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
So and he and Sindbad are rivals. I thought they
were gonna be a buddy duo, but they're actually rivals
throughout the whole movie, which I thought was interesting. That's
not that's something I didn't expect.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
It's like a love hate rivalry because like they're they're
in the same situation, so there's this level of like
relatability between them even though they're very different types of people,
which I do kind of like how like Sinbad's sort
of like, you know, as far as like economic goes,
he's like a lower middle class you know, uh, government
worker who's frustrated. I mean, look, I mean that's still

(34:09):
a topic of today about how postal workers are treated
and how they feel and how the postal system works.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, just yesterday the President elect said that he wants
to privatize the post office.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah, I mean, it's still a very topic of conversation.
And uh. And in this you know, they have their
they have their spat they they there's this pretty uh
exciting fun sequence in this store where they have a
fight for the for the toy and then eventually Chris
Parnell and another actor tell us that that in a

(34:42):
really good scene. Like I really I laugh every time
I see it. Just Chris Parnell, another actor that I
think doesn't get a lot of credit as much.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
He shows so much though you see him in so
many things.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Oh yeah, I mean he's I mean he's great in
everything that he's ever done in my mind.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
For anybody who doesn't know who Chris Parnell is, just
look up Lazy Sunday from Saturday Night Live and have
a great time with it. But he's in this, and
he's for the.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Record, my favorite, yeah, my favorite. My favorite performance of
his is as Liz Lemon's doctor from thirty Rock.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's a great one. I also he's in my favorite
is hot Rod. I really like his role in hot Rod.
I think that's another underrated movie. Uh. But nevertheless, he's
in this. Very shortly talks about how you know this
is the most popular toy. Of course it's sold out,
but you can get Booster if you want Booster, and
they're all laughing at Arnold and.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Because everybody hates Booster.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Everybody hates Booster. Uh and that's I love the continuation
and the crowd is laughing at Booster. Will get a
funnier moment a little later, but for now, you know,
Arnold kind of threatens them, goes out, and it decides
he's going to call home. Uh. He's he wants to
check in with his wife, Uh, you know, let her

(35:59):
know that he's going to be late because he's still
looking for the too late.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
To the parade. But that's the parade thing that Yes,
there's a there's a turboman headlined parade.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
At Minnesota Christmas Parade.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
That he needs to attend. By the way, I love
that this is set in Minneapolis. I love movies aren't
set in la or New York, and I'm sure they did.
You know, a huge chunk of principal photography not in Minneapolis,
but they got a lot of really fun exterior shots
that if you just like cities, if you like seeing

(36:33):
real places in your movies, Yeah, I was really fond
of that.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Choice, and actually filming on location in Bloomington at the
Mall of America, which we'll get to in a moment.
It's Mall of America is incredible. I can't wait to
go back there one day. I went very very young,
so I don't have a ton of memories of it,
but very amazing. Mo. If you've never heard of it,
please seek it out. It's a tourist location around the world.
People come from everywhere to see the Mall of America.

(37:00):
But before we get to the Mall of America, he
calls home, and this is a line that still exists
in my life today. He calls home and Ted has
sent his wife off to take a shower to get
ready for the parade, and he is finishing her cookies
that she's making. When Arnold calls uh. He answers the phone,

(37:22):
and we get a few funny gags from this. Arnold
is like, where's where's Liz And He's like, oh, she's
in the I think she's still in the shower. You
want me to go check for you? And no, he
starts getting terrified, but then he's like centrally eating cookies
into the phone and he's like, oh, oh god, these

(37:44):
cookies are so good. And eventually we get I think
the most famous line from this movie. Right, it's gotta
be right.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Easily easy. This is the one that everything I want
to hear you do it.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Nobody knows any other line from this movie except for
put that cookie down.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
It's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
It's pretty good, perfectly by Arnold Swarzenegger. And another moment
of them bouncing off each other.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
All right, and look, here's here's I think actually where
we do need to talk about Arnold's performance, because the
first note I wrote down as I started watching the
movie is why Arnold? I asked myself that question, Why
cast Arnold Schwarzenegger in an every man role like this
doesn't make sense, doesn't make sense. I can't think of

(38:32):
an actor too, Yeah, that I can relate to less
than Arnold Swartzene.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
Maybe Jean Claude.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Maybe Jean Claude maybe, you know, you know, between the
accent and his physique and just the fact that by
nineteen ninety six he was one of the most iconic
movie stars in action heroes that had ever lived. You know,
I was really puzzled by that at first, and then
I realized that one of the best jokes about this
movie is just a fact that Arnold is playing this character,

(39:03):
you know what I mean? Like that, Yeah, that in
and of itself is the joke. And it's, as it
turns out, are really funny joke.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Very funny joke, because there's no.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Other reason why put that cookie down should stand the
test of time, you know. Oh, but because it's Arnold. Yeah,
and here's another thing. You know, his character is going
to take a lot of abuse through this movie. I'm
talking prat balls, people being dicks to him. Yeah, you know,

(39:38):
much of it is deserved to his character. His character
makes a lot of mistakes. But another thing is that
you can't actually feel bad for Arnold. You don't hurt
for Arnold.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
It's it's not it's very much done in a home
alone type way, you know, where like the the you know,
the Wet Bandits of this key Bandits. I'm gonna say
the first home alone because I put the second one
on such a high pedestal. It's it's very much done
in that similar.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Home alone two to home alone one.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Oh easily, it ClearSK easily. Yeah, yeah, maybe we'll have
a conversation about that at some point.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
But is it because you did you vote for the
most famous cameo?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Oh we're not going to talk about that, but but no,
you know, it's very much done it in a similar
kind of way, just it doesn't go as far into
making you hate this guy Arnold like you, there's a
relatability that there's not with the Wet Bandits, But it's
the same style where it's like, Okay, we don't want
you to feel too bad for this guy, because then
our funny moments where he's getting hit by purses and

(40:45):
being called a pervert are sad. We don't want it
to be sad, we exactly, And they balance it well.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
When I say that that you don't feel bad for him,
I'm not saying that Arnold's unlikable in this. He's likable
right as all hell.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
You feel just bad enough not to be said.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
You know what I think as I watched this, I think, oh,
Arnold is such a good sport. He takes this role
where you know, people beat up on him and and
people you know are mean to him, and he makes
a lot of self deprecating jokes. And that's what I think.
Arnold is such a good sport. It's it's so fun

(41:21):
that he would do something like this.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Oh yeah, I mean you'd never see Like Stallone, we
talked about this somewhere. I'm not gonna we won't bring
it up too much. Rocky five we have discussed at
some point We'll say personally, we've discussed it personally. And
that's a movie that we sort of talked about, where
like Sylvester Stallone had this period where it was like

(41:46):
he was almost like unbeatable, right like every movie he
was in like he would be knocked down, but it
was just for the purposes. He never looked weak.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
He was unbeatable in a really smug way.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
That's what I mean. There there was this like arrogance
of like, well, I'm sevest saloon. I shouldn't have to
do that. And he's talked about that. He's talked about
that period of his career and how he regrets a
lot of the decisions. You know, we talked about Judge
Dread on the Channel. That's another movie that's an example
of this of his arrogance sort of shining through during
that time. And Arnold not to say he's not an
arrogant guy. I'm not making that, Yeah, especially when you

(42:21):
start talking to him about you know, his his his
run in politics and his you know, his his role
in the overall action movie, you know, Zeitgeist or whatever.
But he he knows his strengths, and I do believe
that he does have a strength in this sort of
slapstick self deprecating style. And I don't know if he

(42:42):
knew that or if this was just like, hey, you're
paying me a lot of money, but I'm.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Kind of dolly the way as I say, Oh, he's
such a good sport as if.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
He's people have been paid more and done less, you know,
so we do have to highlight.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
That that's fair when you usually when you hire Arnold,
you get your money's worth. I kind of reserve that
statement for Batman and Robin. I just frankly don't see
much effort from him in that performance.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
There was a lot of issues surrounding Batman and Robin two.
I mean far from it was far from a flawless production.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, so it's not like no shape to Arnold. I
don't expect him to pour his heart out here for
mister Freeze. But here I see I see that. You know,
he came on board to a project that he you know,
he's on record saying that he had a good time
on He liked working with Bill Hartman. It was fun
for him to play a family man and not you know,
a cyborg or a commando or something like that, and

(43:39):
he was having fun with it. So while I can't,
you know, there's not there's not a lot of finesse
to his approach, especially when you contrast him with a
Phil Hartman. The joke is that it's Arnold, and that
it's Arnold doing all of these gags. And you know,
I compared this to After Hours, but After Hours. I
actually have a really hard time watching After Hours, despite

(44:02):
what a masterpiece it is. My wife kind of gives
me grief about it because she loves that movie and
she thinks it's funny. I watched all these like horror movies,
really nasty ones, but I have a hard time with
After Hours. And you know, Griffin Dunn is just I
feel so bad for him. I don't want to see
him go through all that, Like he's you know, he's
this harmless, defenseless, helpless, you know, urban nights, and I

(44:29):
just have a hard time I feel his pain to directly. Yeah,
and that's just not something that I have a problem
with here. So if they hadn't cast a regular Joe
Schmoe in this role, I'm not sure how some of
these gags would have landed. Like would it have been
as funny if it was you know, a true everyman

(44:50):
actor fighting off that that crew of con men Santa Clauss.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
So Okay, there is a version of this with some
of the action tropes written out that could have worked
within Everyman, But like, it's so impossible to picture like
you know, because before I would have said, like, oh, oh,
you know, maybe like a Matthew Broderick would have been
so cool for something like this, But then I've seen
Deck the Halls and I know, I don't. I some

(45:18):
roles just don't work for him and Inspector Gadget, and
so you know, like this is this is the kind
of movie that's like it was written for Arnold. It
wouldn't have worked with another action star, especially another action star,
and I don't I don't think it would have worked
within Everyman. And but but something that you said there,
and I'm gonna sort of transition this to talk about
the next sequence we get the next battle for the Turboman,

(45:40):
dol By saying that like it sort of layers how
bad you feel for him with what's happening, because he's
he's he's less and less deserving of what's happenings as
it goes along, but he's also getting less and less
screwed over, and you're supposed to feel bad for him
at certain points. So like this first sequence, he's I mean,

(46:03):
he's he's a dick. He didn't get the toy in time.
You know, he's got to go get one and he
gets screwed over and everybody's laughing at him right calls home,
has the thing with Ted, and then he overhears a
guy saying that they got a shipment at this store
that's in the Mall of America. So he drive. He
tries to drive the Mall of America and backs into
a police motorcycle of none other than the police officer

(46:26):
that pulled him over at the beginning of the film.
So he's delayed again. He gets to the Mall of America,
they do a ball lottery to pay double the price
for a very few selection of Turboman dolls, which, by
the way, another thing taken directly from real life. This
is something that was actually happening at places and before

(46:47):
people think that, like, I know things aren't like this now,
but look at news headlines ten years ago for Black Friday.
I know now it's different. You know, most people will
shop online. Different, I think is crazy.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
We're stampeding over each other for you know, for iPhones
or well so Martie.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
You just see it less right like most like there
are stores that have come out after Black Friday events
and talked about like this was the most disappointing Black
Friday we've ever had. Our sales were half of what
they used to be. I mean, more people are shopping
online than ever. That Like, if you look at news
headlines ten years ago, you will see full grown adults

(47:28):
ripping toys out of the hands of children, and ripping
headphones out of the hands of children, and fighting each
other for products and just stacking their carts with items.
And it's like the worst of consumerism. And I'm a
I'm a defender of consumerism. I I eat that shit up.
But there is this.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Movie, Like, was this movie maybe partly responsible for your
affection for consumerism?

Speaker 2 (47:52):
You know what I think it was was I really
do think Star Wars was the thing for me that
did it as a kid, because it was so cool
for me to like watch a movie where they were
doing where they had like lightsabers, right, and then I
could go to the store and see a poster with
Darth Maul's face on it and right underneath it was
a lightsaber, and I can say, that's a cool poster.

(48:13):
I want that. I want that lightsaber too, and so
but this movie did have it had that sort of
opposite effect on me as a kid. That it does
as an adult. As a kid, I'm like, of course
I would go. I would fight everybody for a Turboman
doll what like you can, like if if they released
like a rock Action figure back in the day and
I really wanted it, I would bite somebody's hand off

(48:34):
to get that fucking thing. You kidd me. But as
an adult, I'm like, oh my god, this is horrific,
But it's done funny, don't get me wrong, but like
thinking of the real life implications of stuff like that,
like stuff like this was happening places, but you know,
I guess nonetheless, if we don't want to get too serious.

(48:56):
Here Arnold gets a ball, gets pepper sprayed by sindbad
and the ball falls into the hands of a child
going through the playground of them all of America.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
And Arnold chases this kid, this.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Child, Yes, who is a girl? Who is a girl? Yes?
Who is a girl?

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Did not think it was a girl at first, but.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Did not either, but hey, not here to judge, that's
not what we do. And it's the kid eventually in
a ball pit.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
And then gets and and here's where we get some
dashes of adult humor. So Arnold, everybody thinks that Arnold is,
you know, a diddler is a diddler.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Which underrated line I think, because he so he offers
the ball right and he's like, I have this nice
shiny ball. We do want to trade, and then you know,
the kid puts it in it in her mouth. He
tries to get it out, which don't grab a kid's face.
I just I feel like I have to say that
people still don't grab a kid's face, especially when you
don't know the child. And he rightfully gets beaten with

(50:07):
purses and they call him a pervert and he gets
out of the pump hit and standing in front of
Jim Belushi Santa Claus, he goes, I'm not the provote
and it's just delivered.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Again though it's because it's Arnold. If a wrong actor
said that.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
That with.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Career, you know, like not not every actor can get away.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
With that, but Arnold absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
It's just too harmless. It's it's so funny. He he
made a career out of being a professional killer on screen. Yeah,
but he's still so harmless. And so yeah, it's like
exactly where you want to be as as a movie star.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yes, uh, and and he he does it perfectly here,
and after saying I'm not the povote he talks, he says,
I just want the Toba man doll, And he happened
to be directly in front of mister James Belushi, another
underrated comedic force. A great show growing up. According to Jim,
I don't know if you got any a chance to

(51:12):
watch that at all as a kid. But according to Jim,
oh that's the show.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Yeah, that's the name of the show. No, look, I
I'll get my thoughts of Jim Blushy out of the way. Oh,
if you had asked me to name the lamest actors
in comedy, Oh, Jim Belushi would have been in my
top five before before I saw him in Twin Peaks.

(51:39):
The Return. That is one of That's one of the
few times an actor has completely redeemed themselves in my eyes,
you know, because before and it's just so it's just
so easy to dismiss him. Like the reason the guy
is famous, it seems, is because he has the last
name Belushi, and he has a passing resemblance to his

(52:02):
dearly beloved Gone too soon brother.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
You know, not the worst of a famous person's siblings.
I mean from the Loan still exists, are from it?

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Yeah, And that's why I I just that's why. The
word I would have used is lame, like if he
wants to pretend to be one of the Blues brothers, Okay,
let let him knock himself out. It's it's not something
I want to say. But he has since redeemed himself
in my eyes, and he's actually not bad here. I yeah,
I even before the Redemption arc, I would have said

(52:35):
that heat you know, is it's pretty all right as
this sleazy mall Stanza.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
I like him as a support I will say that, like,
aside from his sitcom, which you know, as a kid,
I enjoyed it. I don't know how to hold up today,
you know. I don't know if it would hold up
as much as like the Drew Carey Show does for me,
But I don't know, maybe it would. But in this
he's like the perfect supporting role. Here he shows up
as this, as this black market Santa Claus with this

(53:05):
and and one of my favorite bits of the movie
it comes right here where you know, he's whispering, He's like,
don't you want to get a turboman doll for you?

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Kid?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
And he has his his thug elf.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
From Seinfeld.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Yeah, Mickey from Seinfeld. He he comes walking out, he's
looking around and he shows this picture of him holding
the Turboman doll in that day's newspaper, which is my
It's one of my favorite bits in any Christmas movie.
I think it's so funny. It's done so perfectly as
this like Mafia Santa Claus, and it's paid off even

(53:39):
better when Arnold agrees to go get this turboman doll
and they take him to this like warehouse that's guarded
by German shepherds and it's just full of Santa Claus
and elves. We get a good sequence coming up here
that we'll talk about sequence coming perfect.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Yeah, look, Arnold needed scenes like this. I think it
would have felt something would have felt missing if he
didn't get any any nods to his resume as as
an action star.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
It was a script was written for him. I mean, like,
this is a perfect sequence for a movie like this.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Yeah. So yeah, he does this under the table deal
with three hundred dollars, which that was in the nineties.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
I don't know that I'm gonna look up right now
how much that would cost. As you go through this
how much that would be today?

Speaker 1 (54:36):
So he, against his better judgment, buys the Turboman doll
and stupidly gives them the money before verifying this purchase,
verifying the actual item he's receiving because it's it's wrapped up.
It's skipt wrapped, yes, and then he starts opening it,
and Jim Belushi, in his funniest line, just just goes, wait, wait,

(54:57):
don't open it now up and then presses a little
turbo man. It's like, oh lah uh, you know, also
don't go man, And Jim Blueshy hasn't funny.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
It's a multilingual model. You you play with it and
you learn something.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
And then and then Arnold, you know, he can't get
his money back, so he calls them all a bunch
of criminals. And then these Santas gang up and they're
ready to throw down. Arnold is surrounded. And what does
Arnold do. He picks up one big ass candy cane
and he starts throwing down.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Well first, at first, before I mentioned this, three hundred
dollars December of nineteen ninety six. As of November of
twenty twenty four, which is as far as I can
go in this that would be five hundred and ninety
six dollars and seventy seven cents by the inflation.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Am I right?

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Insane? But so first he grabs so Jim Belushi does
a very arrested development esque Chicken impersonation as he tells
Arnold to hit him, and he's like, what are you
gonna hit me? And he's like, jap, cheep, cheep. And
then finally Arnold grabs his beard snaps him in the
face with it in a perfect slapstick sequence. He stands

(56:12):
straight up on his head and bounces back up to
hit his head on a pole. And then we get
this Santa showdown. First we get nunchuck Santa who screams
like jar jar binks, jumping into the waters of Naboo,
and then he uses this candy cane to dispatch of
him and like ten other Santa clauses. But then we

(56:33):
get Big Show Santa Claus, where it's a big show.
He shows up, actually the Big Show. Everybody who's a
wrestling fan. This is at the time it was WCW's
the Giant. Many know him now as the Big Show
or Paul White. Gigantic. Santa Claus shows up and if
you notice his hands are like twice it's the size

(56:56):
of Arnold schwartz Natives, which is Arnold's a big dude,
and they have a very funny showdown. One of the
other famous moments of this movie is in this sequence,
so Big Show Santa knocks down Arnold, which is when
Vern Troyer Mini me jumps on his shoulders and begins

(57:19):
attacking his head. Arnold and as the Big Show is
about to put an end to Arnold Swartzenegger, Arnold ducks
down and Vern Troyer gets launched fifty feet from a
Big Show punch. A Big Show very sadly, says little
buddy before getting his ass kicked, and then a police

(57:41):
raid happens.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
And then Arnold most immediately after gets out of this.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
By impersonating a fucking police officer.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
Because there was a badge. I wasn't clear about this.
There was just a badge lying among it was.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
It was a bin of badges, so like fake toy,
and he just grabbed one of them.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Oh it was a toy badge. Yeah, okay, got it. Yeah.
So he gets out out of that situation and nobody's like, oh,
I didn't know we were working with you know, fucking
Austrian police department and he escapes and his car breaks down.

(58:23):
I mean, there's this really sad shot of Arnold having
to push Hish his car across the bridge.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
But see this is where that moment starts to turn
where like he has at this point like, yeah, he
impersonated a police officer, but like a very minor crime
as far as like you're gonna hate the guy. You know,
You're not just gonna hate somebody simply for impersonating a
police officer. It's what they do while doing that. Uh,
And you start to feel bad for him at this
point in my mind, because the slapstick nature for him

(58:56):
doesn't start up again until you're not supposed to feel
bad for him anymore, because we get another slapstick sequence
coming up at this point, Like he's dejected, he hasn't
found a Turboman dol. He's been to every store, he's
been everywhere. Uh, and now he's just trying to get
to the parade in time. He just wants to keep
his promise.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
But but this is when he calls home and he.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Gets and he's trying to to once again uh, trying
to save face and say he'll be late. He wants
to talk to his mom. What do you think of
this sequence? With this, with this phone call.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
It's it's doing a lot of heavy lifting right now.
Like we've just come from a truly off the rails sequence.
And I mean that as a compliment, but yeah, yeah,
we're gonna have to switch modes from you know, farce
slapstick to it's very the sad conversation with his son

(59:59):
where or he blows up and his kid, his kid
blows up, that blows up back in the in the
way that little kids do. Just says, you know, you
never do anything that you say that you're going to do.
And uh, the only thing that's hard is that these

(01:00:21):
actors aren't in the in the scene together, you know.
It's it's a phone call. And I think the you know,
this would have been very difficult logistically. I just think
the scene would have benefited from from them, from them
actually interacting with each other. Uh. But phone call it
accomplishes what what it's set out to do. The stakes

(01:00:42):
are raised because not only is Arnold not going to
get his kid skiffed, he's he's probably gonna be late
for the parade. He might miss it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Can I inject one disagreement with you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
There, do it, buddy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
I think the phone I think the phone call actually
works better, and I'll explain why. I feel like it
eases into the moment with one last joke that both
works as a funny moment and as a breaking point
because the phone allows for the miscommunication that I think

(01:01:21):
that I'm gonna highlight here where when he first gets
on the phone, you know, Jamie answers right after. So
they're all out petting the reindeer, which.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Yeah, Ted has a reindeer.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Ted bought a reindeer for his son. His son has
named the reindeer Ted after his dad. Very important, and says, hey,
maybe your folks should get divorced because my dad started
getting me stuff when they got divorced. And that makes
Jamie sad because he just wants his mom and dad
to be happy and he wants his dad to come
through and be a good father. Walks into the house

(01:01:53):
as the phone is ringing and answers the phone talk
to his dad. So he says, hey, Jamie, can you
put your mother on the phone, And he goes, can't.
She's next door pet and Ted, and he goes, she's
what and it's it's funny, but it also acts as
it's a miscommunication, and it acts as a final moment
of like I can't do this anymore, like this day

(01:02:16):
has been too much. My wife is now he thinks
he's he's being cheated on, or that Ted's moving in
on his wife, which he's right, he is moving in
on his wife. And it acts as a perfect like
final moment so that when Jamie says, you know, Turboman
says you should keep your promises and does the quote,
which I like that he does it in the voice

(01:02:39):
like that's such a kid thing, you know, to always
keep your promises if you want to keep your friends.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
But finally, up to here with here with man, I'm
not even gonna try doing an impersonation because he always.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
And he did it really well, I think, like he
he it's a believable like father blowing up at his
kid like it's not too far, but it's it's far enough.
That's like this kid didn't deserve that. And you're I
know you've had a bad day, but you don't take
that out on your kid, and.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
And the bad day is his fault.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Oh yeah, I mean, it's it's all his fault. None
of this would have happened if you would have just,
if you would have just And I know, you know,
as somebody who worked a job that was very demanding
for a long time, Like I know both how you
could speak to someone that you love in your phone voice.
I've done it a few times where I'm like, I
answer my phone when my wife is calling me and
thank you for calling hello. You know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
No, something I really did start to appreciate I appreciate
about this movie is that it is about how, you know,
the you know, the commercialization of Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
It's not just.

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
We don't just dislike it because well it's just overt
commercialization over you know, which should be you know, a
sacred day for people, but because it distracts us from
what it's really about, which is, you know, spending time
with our loved ones and appreciating our loved ones for
each other and not for for the things that we

(01:04:12):
buy each other. Right, So he has that phone call.
It like it works, Like I'm with the movie, nothing
so far has just fallen flat.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
And it lets them, It lets the mom have a
reason to be more upset now too, without forcing it,
because she doesn't even speak with him, but she sees
how upset Jamie. She hears that, you know what, Jamie
says back, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
She's getting increasingly more disappointed in Arnold Schwartzenegger. She has
good reason, not very as good of a reason as
Maria Shriver did, but but a very understandable rational reason.
And I like that she is not the bitchy wife, Like,

(01:04:58):
at no point did I did she annoy me? And look,
that's a problem that a lot of guys have when
we're watching films, is that we, you know, we relate
to the husband even though we we can no interrational
sense that what they've done is wrong, but we still,

(01:05:19):
you know, a lot of us have this instinct of
getting defensive on their behalf when the wife starts criticizing them.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
And that can be forced a lot too. I mean,
there's so many movies that just like, he does one
thing wrong and it's like, Okay, I'm sure we saw
stuff before this, but like you didn't explain it. She
just like all of a sudden hates them, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
But I think there's there's a critical component to this
that like Breaking Bad is probably the most famous example, and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
You're the only person who has ever done what I
was ever we're talking about jingle all the way. You
just brought up Breaking Bad, I.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
Love you, Let me go somewhere with this let me Go,
I love it. That's another series about a man who
prioritized is his career over his family. By the way,
so you know, famously people hate Skyler and a lot
of people think that's pure misogyny. You know, she's just
a woman who realizes that her husband is is a monster,

(01:06:17):
a criminal, a terrible person. Yeah, and she reacts accordingly
like how any of us would. But there is this
factor here where I just don't think that Skylar the
performance of Skyler White is intrinsically empathetic. I don't think

(01:06:39):
that's how the actress was directed. I don't think that's
how the character was written, because she just has her
own motivations and there's a disconnect between me and Skyler White.
But that really can't he said for for Rita Wilson's

(01:07:02):
performance here, I think she it gives a very uh
a very real and relatable performance here, and I I
I felt for her as much as I felt for.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
Arnold, honestly more so and more so. Yeah, what's better?
What helped me here is that there's still that relatability
from us guys, because like we've all, you know, we've
all you know, there's there's still a societal pressure, which
I do think is somewhat deserved. It just depends on
the situation. You know, Sometimes I think it's overdone, sometimes not.

(01:07:39):
But you know, to be a responsible provider, you know,
that's what you're supposed to be in a lot of
people's eyes, and it's something Arnold is still trying to do.
He's he's not balancing it well. So there's this there
is this feeling bad for him. There's things that he
does that you're like, all right, like dude, just be real,
like just quit being a fucking you're fucking lying now.

(01:08:02):
So there is that extra bit that makes it, you know,
work for the slapstick stuff. But what works for me
with her is that the movie Never, you know, sort
of bates itself into her buying into anything Ted is saying.
You know, that's where I think it would have taken.
That moment where like if they there's gonna be a
moment that we'll talk about in a few minutes here

(01:08:22):
about them sitting in a car together where Ted really
starts laying it on thick and she rejects it. She
rejects his advances, and if she would have like started
to buy into it at all, or like for a
split second was like, oh, you know, but there's a
moment in a second that we'll talk about here where
she does it again, and she never for once questions

(01:08:43):
the relationship she's in. She's just disappointed in her husband.
And that's something a lot of movies would have taken
their own bait on that and would have been like,
there's just a split second where the wife is like, oh,
well maybe, but they didn't do that here, and she
had good reason to h oh, I think we're about
to talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
But she acts as an audience surrogate, which is not
really the function that the wives usually play in movies,
you know, with male leads. Honestly, it's pretty hard to
tell what the screenwriters have in mind for those characters
other than usually their obstacles. And that's the thing. Skylet

(01:09:22):
White is framed as an obstacle. She's one of many
obstacles that Walter White faces. She's not our surrogate. We
don't see the story through her eyes, or we don't
we don't. We just don't feel the emotional weight of

(01:09:42):
it through her character. Yes, But when Rita Wilson realizes
how much Arnold has uh has has hurt little Jamie
Lloyd on the phone and she says, damn you, Howard,
that really punctuates the scene that you know, she voices

(01:10:05):
our disappointment at Howard, but she hasn't given up on
him by that point. He really starts to push it later,
but it's, uh, it's good. It's it's very quietly not misogynistic,
which I appreciate, you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Know, yeah, uh yeah, completely agree there. And so our
next slapstick sequence is involving a radio station. So after
getting off the phone blowing up on his kid, Arnold,
it takes a little bit of time to uh, well, well,

(01:10:45):
he goes for coffee originally in this little diner, but
then Sinbad shows up. You know, peace is the season
to be jolly, which I really like that, And we
get this really cool sequence that's like both a comedy
moment and a moment where like the lessons of the
movie really start to like show through, where it's like

(01:11:06):
Arnold's motivations are now going away from the whole commercialization thing.
It's it's not about you know the toy, and it's
it's just about the principle of you made a promise
to your kid and you need to keep it and
if you don't, you could really let your kid down
and and send that kid on a path that you
don't want the kid to be on. And it's told
in a very funny way through through Arnold seeing his

(01:11:30):
son as and I'm having a hard time not saying
Jamie Lloyd because it's Jake Lloyd and the character's name
is Jamie.

Speaker 1 (01:11:37):
Calling him Jamie Lloyd this whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
I think, no, I think you've been saying Jake Lloyd.
I I don't know if you have. No. I think
I have over my head. Jamie Lloyd another great character,
but not this one. But yeah, he sees he sees
his son as Sindbad having a drink. Yeah, and he is.
He is snapped out of it when they hear on
the radio that there is a contest to win a

(01:12:01):
Turboman doll and you have to name all of Santsor's
reindeer be the first caller to do it. Which there's
no way in hell in Minneapolis, Minnesota that not one
person called in before they got to that radio station.
But first he tries to call Sinbad, rips the phone
off the wall, and the guy behind the counter says, well,
the radio stations right down the road.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Like thank you. Yes, that's how that works. They want
you to show up there.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
Which I like that they didn't just like accept it,
you know, like there's a really funny sequence they build
off of that. But they start running and we get
this really funny moment where like Sindbad's running quite slowly
behind Arnold, who's co hosting, saying the name of the
reindeer on repeat, and Sindbad realizes he's running too slow,
so he starts shedding weight by throwing mail out of

(01:12:48):
his mail bag, which I thought was really funny. And
finally they get to the radio station and Arnold literally
breaks into radio DJ Martin Mole arrested. Help and fans
will know him as Gene Parmesan, my favorite character from
that entire series. But he's one of those guys who

(01:13:08):
just kind of pops up everywhere. He did for a
long time. Just passed away this year, which which sucks.
Another guy who was was very talented taken too soon.
But as he frantically relays the name of these reindeer.

(01:13:30):
Sinbad shows up and says he can't win. I have
a bomb.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
And because this was in the era of the unibomber,
so that's yeah, that's a risky joke in your family
Christmas movie.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
Some people would argue too soon. I think maybe.

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
I mean, imagine if like this movie comes out in
two thousand and three and Sindbad says he can't win
or else I'm going to fly this plane into the
twin hours, or.

Speaker 2 (01:14:01):
Like, you know, like if somebody would have made a
joke about like the like one from our like where
we were able to watch it happen and comprehend everything,
the Boston bombings, you know, or like Columbine, if somebody
right after Columbine was like, I'm gonna bring I you know,
I shouldn't even talk about this at the time. We're
recording an actual tragedy happened literally yesterday. Yes, but but

(01:14:24):
this is what I'm talking about, like it it could
have easily been distasteful. I do think they ultimately did
it in a funny and tasteful way, because it's not
I might.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
Have to contest that with one choice they make I
would have agreed with you all the way up until
the actual until this gag climb axis, until the actual bomb,
and more specifically this this movie takes the tragedy of
the unibomber bombings and translates it into a Tom and

(01:14:55):
Jerry cartoon with with smut all over his face.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
And I kind of appreciated that it took a more.
It took a very like John Hughes approach to it.
And what I mean by that is like in John
Hughes movies that he both wrote and directed, there's this nature,
there's this this cartoon nature to them. I mean like
Home Alone. There are moments in that where like, those

(01:15:22):
guys should have easily been dead, but they're not Home Alone. Two,
there is literally a moment where Marv is being electrocuted
and turns into a skeleton. Yes, and automobiles, the devil sequence, you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:32):
Know, legendary. Everything you just said is legendary, but none
of it is a direct reference to a tragedy that occurred,
you know, that affected the whole country.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
To say that's fair, maybe it's a little easier to
see nowadays than it would have been in ninety six.

Speaker 1 (01:15:48):
Yeah, I'll definitely say it in twenty twenty four. I
mean I wasn't. I wasn't offended by it, And if
I didn't know about the ring bomber, I wouldn't have
thought twice about it, although then it would have been
a really random joke.

Speaker 2 (01:15:59):
Yeah yeah, I think so. But so he threatens the bomb,
he drops it, and it's a it's a music box.
Police show up though, because Martin Mule called the police
before Arnold broke in. And when the police show up,
he pulls the bomb thing again with a different package,
and he delivers this really funny line. He says, I
work for the postal service, so you know I'm crazy

(01:16:22):
or no, so you know I'm unstable, is what he says,
and they ask Arnold. Then he says, you know, believe him.
He has a bomb.

Speaker 1 (01:16:30):
One of Arnold's best line deliveries of the whole movie.
This man is totally unstable.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
Oh yeah, this man is totally unstable. And then they
both escape as a benefit to this, but as soon
as they make it outside, the bomb actually explodes and
blows up the police officer from earlier, who does have
this nice little moment with Arnold very short in the
in the hallway going to the stairs. You just can't

(01:16:56):
stay out of trouble, can you? Bomb blows him up
very Tom and Jerry, very Looney tunes with like when
he'd stick his finger in the gun and it would
blow him back up in the inn Elmer Fudd's face,
very much like that. And then we get an an
unforgivable sequence in Arnold's characters. Uh what what would have

(01:17:21):
been unforgiven? So he goes back to find his car.
It's it's really bad.

Speaker 1 (01:17:28):
And in this movie it is. It is almost the
point of no return. And I like, I like just
how I know a lot of people really don't like
it when movie heroes get to a really low place,
Like I remember we talked about that about Iron Man two.
I think that's one one of people's chief complaints about

(01:17:50):
that movie. And I like that choice. And I like
it here, Okay, I.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
Love it here. I love it here. He gets his
he gets his car towed back right and and he
gets back to his house, gets dropped off by the
tow truck and uh. And he sees Phil Hartman putting
the star on the top of his tree.

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
Which Arnold always does.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
You don't do that about it? And I'll relate to
him in this moment. You don't do that, like that's
my job in my house. If somebody did, if another
if another dude did that, I would I would threaten
physical violence, if not pull physical violence. That's that's you
don't do that to somebody. But you also don't do
what Arnold's about to do in a second here.

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
Also, Rita Wilson comes across very well. I'm gonna refer
to everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:18:35):
By the oh, she did it really really well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:18:37):
Yeah, Because a lesser movie might have tried to heighten
the stakes by by letting Rita Wilson start to actually
treat Phil Hartman like her husband, because she's so disappointed
in her actual husband. And that's where you would see
a lot of people calling her a bitch, calling her
us you know, all of that stuff, and not that

(01:19:00):
I would agree with that, but right, But this movie
it proceeds very wisely because she is very offended when
Phil Hartman does it, and she gives him the benefit
of the doubt, but she she does not let it slide.

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
No, she makes him take it down. So Arnold sees
him putting it up there. But as soon as she
sees it. By then Arnold is already off to do
what we're about to discuss, Yeah, but she makes him
take it down because so he's so mad and blinded
with rage that he begins to hear Phil Hartman's voice
from earlier in the movie saying that the turboman dol

(01:19:36):
for Johnny is nestled safely under the tree. So he's
going to break into his house and steal his son's turbomandal,
And he does exactly that. He breaks into the house
and as he breaks into the house, some carollers show
up and they go outside to watch the carollers. Now

(01:19:57):
this is another moment where Rita Wilson's carric could have
gone the wrong way. Phil Hartman puts his arm around
her and she shakes it off. Very He's getting thicker
and thicker as we go. The plot is thickening as
we're watching. But she she she You know that that's

(01:20:18):
a moment where, like an audience, you could almost think like, oh,
they'd let it slide right, like you know, she's you
could just make her make an uncomfortable face and that's it.
But she like quite literally like dances him off, which
is really good. I like how they did it. But
as this is happening, Arnold gets the toy and he's like, Okay,
I can't go out the front because that's where the

(01:20:39):
krollers are. They'll see me. I've to go out the
back door. So he goes out the back door and
as soon as he steps out, he realizes what he's doing.
He's stealing a toy from a kid, and he I
like it that he has. He says it out loud
to himself, because that's that is very realistic, Like I've
done that myself, Like am I really doing this Arnold?

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
Because he's not gonna convey it through pretty good? Here
were good, But I think you needed you needed him
to say it you did.

Speaker 2 (01:21:12):
There needed to be a little extra Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Yeah. Uh, that's where maybe another actor could have, you know,
their strength could have been in moments like this. Yeah,
because it almost feels like sometimes Arnold seems like one
of those guys who doesn't have an inner monologue. So
whatever thought occurs in his head, he's he's compelled to
say it out loud. That's how That's how that moment

(01:21:37):
read to me. But still it's okay, good he didn't
actually go through with this with this robbery. But he
realizes his lesson too late because theer Ted the reindeer
is back, heads back and let's loose and goes on

(01:21:59):
a ramp hades chasing Arnold through the house. And this
is where I think the art of this kind of
comedy has been a little diluted. There was something about
watching Arnold actually being chased throughout this house and creating
all this havoc on a real set.

Speaker 2 (01:22:19):
Yes, a practical reindeer, and so a real reindeer. Well,
you know it was it was like it was it
was clearly like you know, a puppet in some sequences. Yeah,
but you know you have to you can't really train
a deer to do everything they needed. But it looked
great on camera.

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
Yeah, And Arnold accidentally starts he catches the rug on fire.

Speaker 2 (01:22:43):
Well, he burns a wise man, he burns out.

Speaker 1 (01:22:46):
I forgot, he burns a wise man. And the best
gag of this something that actually made me laugh out loud,
kicking the head out, the kicking the head out and
scaring the shit out of the carrowers.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
Yeah, and Ted, like Ted gets scared shitless. And then
he starts trying to put the fire out and then
he's like, you know, shoveling snow on it and you know,
patting it out, and they look inside and he's standing
in the broken window with the turboman doll and they go,
it's that is Johnny's turbo man.

Speaker 1 (01:23:19):
You can't I bench press your way out of this one.

Speaker 2 (01:23:21):
I love that line and because it's it's the first
time where we see him like genuinely. Everything leading up
to it is just like, Okay, he's he's an asshole,
but like, how much of this is just him being
naturally an asshole and how much of this is him
just hating his neighbor and wanting to get with his wife.
This is the moment where it's like I know what

(01:23:43):
I'm doing. I know I'm moving in on your wife,
and I know that now there's nothing you can do
about it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
Uh. And that was just like Phil Hartman did it
perfect his face just it's the first time you see
Phil Hartman like genuinely angry in the movie, and it's perfect.
He does it perfectly, and that's an interest. But he
starts drinking with the reindeer after well, first he punches
the reindeer once Phil Hartman and Rita. Wilson's like, hey,

(01:24:12):
can you take us to the parade head, and he
said absolutely, you know, so absolutely. The reindeer breaks out
of the room he's constrained in and is punched by
fed up Arnold. Then they drink together. Like with actual fights,

(01:24:33):
at least those that I've experienced. You, there's a mutual
respect after you fight somebody, uh and you know sometimes
you you you're closer because of it. And they start
drinking alcohol in the back of Ted's house.

Speaker 1 (01:24:48):
And then Arnold realizes that even though he didn't get
this doll, what he should really have been doing is
spending time with his son.

Speaker 2 (01:24:59):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:25:00):
And he now the thing he needs to do is
make it to this parade.

Speaker 2 (01:25:05):
You know, it's another promise he made.

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
It's another and it's it's the only one he can
keep at this point, or so he thinks. And it's
the more important one because it's about the actual spirit
of Christmas. Gosh darn it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:17):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:25:18):
So he rushes over there to the to the Minnesota
Christmas Parade, which again has this Turboman floater.

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
Yeah, Turbo man, there is going to be a Turboman
float there. That's why Jamie so excited to go is
is Turboman is going to be there, and he wants
his dad to be there with him when Turboman shows up,
Jamie and so so Arnold does make it to the parade.
So we get to sequence basically where the and and
this is very realistic for big city parades. You know,

(01:25:52):
cars will line up at trying to get to parking
and other people. Passengers in the car will usually get
out and find a spot save for the driver. So
that's what the kids do. The kids go out to stand,
which would not happen today. Literally a couple weeks ago
lady was arrested for letting her kid walk a mile
to a store for child endangerment, so that would not

(01:26:15):
happen today, But it happens here, and Ted sees this
as an opportunity to really go for the kill. He
goes for the jugular here and starts making advances on
Rita Wilson's character and even calling her Lizzie and I
love her Lizzie, like she can't believe this is happening.
Before she can fend him off, though, Arnold sees her

(01:26:42):
in the car with him and he's like twirling her
hair and he's about to go fuck him up. If
he hadn't, if he hadn't ever run directly into the officer,
who now has his hands all wrapped up from the
box explosion.

Speaker 1 (01:27:00):
Is still on duty and spills Still he's still working.

Speaker 2 (01:27:04):
This cop has my utmost respect. Now.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
I know he's there to watch the parade.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
Maybe, but he's still in uniform. He's still he's he's
got this like a pack of four coffees, presumably for
his fellow officers working the parade. And he gets he
spills the coffee all over him, and so Arnold runs away.
The cop ends up trying to chase him down and
running into a school bus, and he's incapacitated. It lets

(01:27:30):
Arnold escape into this dark and dingy building. And in
the dark and dingy building, this is what y'all are
waiting for, right he is mistaken for the backup actor.
Right now, this is the turning point. This is where
the movie goes so far into the slapstick comedy that

(01:27:54):
there it's almost a point of no return. I'll say almost,
because I really want to discuss something about the ending. Now.
Up until this point, I think Arnold has showed us
something here. I think he's I think he's really shown
us something with this performance that he's he's a little
he's got a little more depth than people wanted to
give him credit for. But it also he benefits from
the movie being written as him in mind for the

(01:28:16):
joke where are you sitting with him at this point
before we get to the sequence overall get I mean,
it's say, give him a grade, A.

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
Grade, Well, I'm going to grade him on a curve
because it's Arnold, and of course, yeah, I feel like
I've come to know Arnold's strengths and his weaknesses and
can balance all of that with his performance. I'm going
to give him a solid B. Right, I think, Okay,

(01:28:46):
if if the emotional beats, if I felt like he
could really nail those, it could have been an A.
Because I'm really enjoying all of the slapstick. I'm really
enjoying all of his all of the comedy. Really really,
nothing's fallen flat with me in that department. But even
the dramatic beats become comedy because A it's Arnold and

(01:29:12):
we're never going to get used to hearing how he talks. Uh,
you know, decades and decades and decades later. I think
the the only time I can, I can really put
that aside is when he delivers those very those very
kind of emotional please on on Twitter, you know the

(01:29:33):
ones I'm talking about. Right, every time you know, a
national tragedy happens and he actually you know, talks about
his upbringing and you know, post Nazi Austria, it's it's
very emotional, it's very moving. But that's Arnold the man,
you know, Arnold, Arnold the actor has always had to

(01:29:57):
deal with that accent, and not just his accent, but
just you know, the cadence it sticks him to. He
just doesn't say things the way s Yankees would, So
things that you write for another actor is not going
to register the same way when those lines are given
to Arnold Swarzenegger. This is a really long, roundabout way

(01:30:19):
of saying that Arnold is really funny in this movie,
intentionally and unintentionally. So all right, that's where I'm That's
where I'm at.

Speaker 2 (01:30:30):
Very fair. Yeah, Yeah, I'm I'm I feel like I'm
somewhere between a B plus and as honestly, because I
know that the script like works really well for him,
and I want to give the writer some of that
credit because, like you said, most of these lines don't
work if it's not Arnold. They just don't. So so you.

Speaker 1 (01:30:54):
Need like a James Cameron. I'm just real quick, like
a James Cameron like knows Arnold and his work finds,
so he can really tailor to Arnold's strength. And that's
why Terminator two never has this problem, even though I
would argue it it's Arnold's most complex performance.

Speaker 2 (01:31:12):
Uh, yeah, I think that's I think that's very fair.
But yeah, I don't know. I want to give him
an A minus. I think a B plus is where
I'll settle, because I do think that there are every
he does. He doesn't do anything wrong per se, but
he there are also moments where I do think that
like it played against his strength slightly because it was
a little bit more on the emotional side. And I

(01:31:34):
just don't think he's ever been that particularly great in
that he's done it in other movies. He's just he
doesn't shine there. He's not bad like he especially I
praised his you know, facials during that sequence where he
realizes what he's doing with Johnny's toy. But yeah, i'd
say B plus is where i'd probably give him, and
then and then we're here, We're at the parade. He

(01:31:57):
is being stripped to get into a turboman suit, and
they're saying these really funny things about how, like rehearsal,
the original actor was in some sort of accident and
the doctor said he started showing brain activity, which is
really good.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
Shout out to that guy, whoever that actor was.

Speaker 2 (01:32:18):
Yeah, he was perfect for that role. He really shined
in his short moment.

Speaker 1 (01:32:23):
Yeah, there are a lot of like characters with very
limited screen time who have these standout moments, which I
think is the mark of a really good comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:32:37):
Yeah, and you know what, like, there's not a performance
that I came away from this any viewing, especially this
one though, because I'm watching it critically disliking or that
I feel like doesn't work towards the movie, which like
when everybody's hitting, like you have to appreciate that. And
so he still doesn't really know what's going on. We're
getting the sense obviously as the audience, but he is discombobulated.

(01:32:58):
He was just running of a police officer again and
and now he's he's being stripped and suddenly he's in
the costume and he sees Booster played by Curtis Armstrong here,
who is amazing. I anybody who knows me knows my
favorite comedy of all time is Better Off Dead. I

(01:33:19):
fucking love that movie. He is a shining example of
why he is another in this movie. I think he's
an example of what you just said of somebody who
has a very small role but who absolutely shines. I
mean he's he is chainsmoking in this suit. You know
it reeks of cigarettes.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
And the perfect payoff to this running gag that yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (01:33:43):
My kids at Booster. We're gonna get to what happens
to him.

Speaker 1 (01:33:47):
Yeah, sure, I'll save it. But Arnold has not taken
the time to say, hey, I'm not the actor. I'm
not who you think I am. He doesn't know what's
going on. Yeah, but he's been put in a Turboman suit,
he's been paired with Curtis Armstrong who's playing Booster, and
then he's risen through this platform and oh shit, he's

(01:34:10):
on the Turboman float and he's Turboman.

Speaker 2 (01:34:15):
And I love that moment where you hear the parade
commentary team, one.

Speaker 1 (01:34:21):
Of whom is Donna from the Office, really yes.

Speaker 2 (01:34:25):
Goes it's Turbo Man. And then you see this moment
of realization where he's like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:30):
What and then as that Arnold's good at.

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
Yep, and then he starts to he starts to know
what's going on, and you know, Curtis armstrong throughout it
sort of like guiding him and like, you know, start
the polls, wave the people. So he starts to and
he's like, I really like this. Actually people are cheering
for me. So then he starts really hamming it up
and he's you know, doing the poses and he's you know,
and then he sees his kid out in the out

(01:34:56):
in the crowd doing the Turboman way or the Turboman salutes. Uh,
and he does it back and uh, you know, then
they announce why this float is so special? Uh, and
from the float, just like he did, rises a special
edition out of the box, which is crazy as a collector.

(01:35:17):
Why is it not in a b It's it's a
collector's edition.

Speaker 1 (01:35:21):
What's a special edition Turbo Man that that he can
give to any kid, any kid in the crowd?

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
YEP. And uh, this is the moment, the one moment
turning point where the movie goes a little too far
for suspension of disbelief for me because he's picking a kid.
He he spots Jamie again because the floats moved a
little bit. He spots Jamie Guinny's pointing, and Johnny's like,
me a little ship and he didn't do anything wrong.

(01:35:51):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:35:53):
Johnny is one of the nicer fat kids in nineties.
Usually fat kids.

Speaker 2 (01:35:57):
Were percent but or they're like, you know, the victim, right,
like they're the victim of it, or.

Speaker 1 (01:36:04):
They were little bitches. Yeah, yeah, little bitches.

Speaker 2 (01:36:08):
But so he points to Johnny's like, no, he's pointing
at me. He's pointing at me. And then finally they
turned his microphone on and he goes.

Speaker 4 (01:36:15):
Jamie and it's like, okay, he has to be the
only man in Minnesota with that voice, and nobody, not
even his son and wife, are like, ah, that kind
of sounded like that kind of sounded like the person
we know very well.

Speaker 1 (01:36:34):
Oh, that's the moment it breaks suspension of disbelief. Not
when he turns on his jet pack later.

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
Well, this is the first moment the bomb thing. See
the bomb thing does but like like it does it
as much as like a home alone. And this movie
has sort of established itself to be very much like slapstick,
like Zero Consequences sort of home alone.

Speaker 1 (01:36:54):
Here's the thing. You have to suspend your disbelief in
every Arnold movie because nobody ever acknowledges that he talks
like that, and like.

Speaker 2 (01:37:04):
It's kind of like Street Fighter, where like Jean Claude
van dam is this like all American boy and he's like,
we have to defend the guy. Yeah, or in they
forced up em?

Speaker 1 (01:37:16):
Oh what what what was that one he did with
Dolph Wondern.

Speaker 2 (01:37:21):
Oh, Universal Soldier? That is a great movie.

Speaker 1 (01:37:23):
Yeah, it's a great movie. And John Claude kicks a
lot of ass. But yeah, when you meet him as
a as you know, an American troop in the Vietnamese War.

Speaker 2 (01:37:33):
Now, luckily that one's a little better because at least
he has a French name in the movie. He is
Luke Devreux, so he was a French American soldier. So
at least they they at least they created something Arnold.
They usually don't. They just they just throw him in
like like you know, I mean, his name is Howard here.
But yeah, he he calls out the Jamie and and

(01:37:54):
uh and Jake Lloyd comes walking on the float and
he gets the toy and he goes.

Speaker 1 (01:37:58):
No, I believe that know my name. Canonically, I don't
think Arnold ever has an Oustriman accent in these movies.
I believe he's used to be treated as if.

Speaker 2 (01:38:08):
He says hearing the accent, not the people.

Speaker 1 (01:38:11):
I'm not even kidding. I think we are to treat
Arnold in these movies as if he sounds like a
regular person, like an American.

Speaker 2 (01:38:21):
The filmmakers are like, you what accent?

Speaker 1 (01:38:23):
I don't know. I don't hear anything, because in okay,
real talk. In most cases, if Arnold Schwarzenegger were to
say something to you, if he were to say I'll
be back, he would say I'm sorry, what now? Like what,
I'm sorry? You know what?

Speaker 2 (01:38:41):
Also like he's he's got the most recognizable voice in America.
Like I think if if if my mother came up
behind me in the store and said my name, I
would I would have a I would have a harder
time thinking that it's her behind my back than I
would if Arnold Schwarzenegger came up behind me and said, hey, buddy,
watch out, I'd be like, oh, Arnold Swarzenegger is behind me,

(01:39:01):
What the fuck? It's he is the most recognizable voice ears.

Speaker 1 (01:39:06):
But I I think his entire filmography we like, imagine
in True Lies, imagine that the CIA actually were to
hire a man who looked and sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger
as a secret agent.

Speaker 2 (01:39:24):
You're right, Oh my god, have I been watching every
Arnold Schwarzenegger movie wrong? The voice is in our heads.
It makes sense in the story because it's not there.

Speaker 1 (01:39:34):
If Arnold Schwarzenegger were to say anything to you in
real life, your reaction would not be, oh my god,
it's Arnold Swarzenegger would be like, I'm sorry what I
have no idea what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:39:46):
What did you I'm sorry, sorry, I can't understand what
you're saying. Sir. Oh my god. No, I am going
to watch every movie differently now, so thank you for that.
But uh yeah, so he calls he calls U. Jake
Lloyd up. Jake Lloyd comes walking out of the float
and this is after he's He's like, he knows my

(01:40:07):
name and he goes.

Speaker 1 (01:40:09):
Not Jake Lloyd's best line reading in the movie, No,
but it was.

Speaker 2 (01:40:13):
It was very, very similar to the type of shit
he would say in episode one, so like, you know
his strengths at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:40:20):
Yeah, we know his strengths and his weaknesses.

Speaker 2 (01:40:22):
But he does have a good delivery when he actually
gets up there and he's like, but how did you
know my name? Like that was that was very kid like.
He was very inquisitive, kid like. He did he did
good there.

Speaker 1 (01:40:33):
And then Arnold is about to say I'm which it
was prophetic.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
Well, Jamie, I know because I'm your fat Well, okay,
we we didn't introduce that. There are these small moments
leading up to this where the actor playing the bad guy,
I don't even remember what his name was, Sinistro or
something not Sinistro. That's a kart DC carrot.

Speaker 1 (01:40:59):
You mean turbo villain.

Speaker 2 (01:41:01):
Yes, I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (01:41:02):
I'm gonna call him Megamind.

Speaker 2 (01:41:05):
So so, so the actor playing Mega Mind gets attacked
and tied up on the roof and uh and down
comes our mailman who's been there throughout the movie. Myron
shows up and uh he is trying to get the
doll from the kid. Uh, so he he attempts to

(01:41:27):
he goes after the kid and then uh, you know,
Jake Lloyd's like, hey, use your use your uh use
your little fancy weapons and.

Speaker 1 (01:41:34):
At this point is a terrorist.

Speaker 2 (01:41:38):
Oh yeah, I mean he has he has blown up
police officers. Uh, he has, he has, Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:41:45):
He is, he attacked a parade, He's attacked a parade.

Speaker 2 (01:41:48):
He he's he's going after a child here, and not
only terroristic threats, but legitimate terrorism. So of course, in
the universe of this movie, the suit is fully functional. Yeah,
it works exactly like it does in the television show.

Speaker 1 (01:42:06):
I think this is where like the vitriol against this
movie really comes from. Is this last twenty minutes. I
feel like there because there's this disgusted tone that I
read in reviews of this movie. Yeah, oh yeah, And
I didn't understand where that came from until that last
twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
Yeah, and I want to I'll discuss a little bit
further in my final verdict of that.

Speaker 1 (01:42:30):
And I'm not saying I agree with yeah, discuss I'm
just saying to stand yes and watching this movie. Roger
Ebert's reviewing Art Schwarzenegger's Family Christmas Movie's writing down his
nose and he looks up and he's like, what the shit?

Speaker 2 (01:42:43):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:42:45):
Like Arnold starts flying like the rock teer and he somehow,
doesn't you know, flatten his head as he flies into
skyscraper after skyscraper.

Speaker 2 (01:42:55):
Yeah, yeah, this goes a little off the rails here,
so this fully functional. He shoots these metal discs into Megama,
into Sinbad's head. Sinbad falls down and it seems like
he saved the day. But the other people in the
float don't know what's going on, so they continue and
they go after Arnold, these little like very power Rangers

(01:43:16):
esque Minion characters. Now we do have to we did
forget one thing. When Sindbad first shows up, Curtis Armstrong
as Booster says this is not in the script, and
and Sindbad goes, shut up, Booster, nobody likes you. And
he punches Booster off of the float, which is bad enough.

(01:43:38):
And then children swarm and begin beating Booster on the
fun fucking ground. They beat the shit out of the sky.
They're cheering on this deranged male man who just attacked
this man.

Speaker 1 (01:43:54):
It's you know.

Speaker 2 (01:43:58):
Yes, he's tried to abduct it. Nobody likes you, Booster,
and he punches him off the float. It's amazing, and
the kids attacking him is just so much better because
it is the perfect crescendo to the everybody hates Booster
joke where kids are literally dogpiling on him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:44:17):
That's another hallmark of really well thought out comedies I
mentioned having these these characters, these day players who still
make a really strong impression have time to shine. That's
one hallmark, and the other is actual payoff to these
running gags, because I mean, it's funny enough everybody hates Booster.

(01:44:40):
It just you know, it never failed to amuse me. Yeah,
and it could have been left at that. And then
they actually did pay it off in a fashion that
was proportional to the amount of times they referenced it,
which very rarely happens.

Speaker 2 (01:44:55):
Which is literally children beating the shit out of this
this injured actor, the.

Speaker 1 (01:45:01):
Fact that it's Curtis Armstrong, Oh yeah, the cherry on top.

Speaker 2 (01:45:04):
Oh yeah, it's it's so good, it's so good. And
then uh so, so the sequence continues, these millions attack him,
and uh and Myron chases jake Lloyd off the float,
and jake Lloyd, the hero that he is also equally
a troublemaker in this movie as he is in Episode one,
climbs a building to get away from this guy, and

(01:45:26):
we get some really funny Sinbad moments.

Speaker 1 (01:45:28):
Here, we get some funny sin Bad moments, and then
Jake Lloyd all of a sudden says, now, this is
pod racing. I didn't understand. Do you know why he
said that?

Speaker 2 (01:45:36):
That I miss Yeah, you know, I didn't. I don't
remember pod racing in the movie up until that point,
but he did. Dude.

Speaker 1 (01:45:43):
It made more sense when he said it in The
Phantom Menace because it.

Speaker 2 (01:45:45):
Didn't know he had been I just never realized that
The Phantom Menace was calling back to Jingle All the Way.

Speaker 1 (01:45:50):
Do you think that George Lucas got the idea for
pod racing from Jingle All the Way?

Speaker 2 (01:45:55):
I think thee Yeah, I think he's a fucking thief.
That's what I think now ironically, yes, no, okay, all right,
But anyways, he gets he gets on top of the
roof and as Symbat's climbing up there, he's like, very calmly, like,
come on, cad, I'm afraid of hight. Have you seen Vertigo?

Speaker 1 (01:46:15):
Does that mean anything?

Speaker 2 (01:46:16):
Does that mean anything to you? And then Jake Lloyd's
on the roof and he's like, you know, he has
his villain moment and of the line, kid, you know,
give me the doll, and jake Lloyd says never and
begins climbing a Christmas tree scaffolding structure on top of
this build.

Speaker 1 (01:46:34):
It's a sign, right, It's.

Speaker 2 (01:46:36):
Like a signa it's like a metal sign. It's it's. Uh.
You used to see these a lot more frequently than
you do now, Like when we were kids. You could
see these still, and it's it's basically just a metal sign.

Speaker 1 (01:46:46):
It's you know, it's the building's sign. They climb to
the top of it.

Speaker 2 (01:46:50):
They raptinsel Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:46:53):
Then it tips over and they're hanging on. Simbat and
jake Lloyd are hanging on and Arnold cannot figure out
how this jet pas works to save his life, his
son's life.

Speaker 2 (01:47:03):
Well, he tries to save his life first when they
get when they first get to the roof, and he
he flies up into the air, flies around Minneapolis, goes
through a family's Christmas dinner, which is actually really I
really like how they did that sequence where he flies through.
You just see him just kind of like float over
and the whole room is just engulfed in this wind

(01:47:24):
that lifts everybody and everything up. Then he flies full
speed into a building and sticks like you know, like
they wouldn't cartoons. They even do the sound effect you
know that like Wooden, Like, yeah, everybody knows what I'm
talking about if they see it's almost like a diving
board sound. And then he goes full speed into the ground.

(01:47:47):
Now he's got to figure out this jetpack thing very
quickly because his son at this point, like you said,
they are now dangling off of this thing. So first
as they're dangling, Myron's trying to get the toy out
of Jake Loyd's backpack and and he uses a boomerang
and it flies past him, and not knowing what a

(01:48:09):
boomerang is, sindbad goes get missed me and pulls it
out of the kid's bag. Then it comes back and
hits him and he falls seemingly. At first You're like,
oh my god, he's gonna die, But it's a Christmas movie.
So he lands on a big present.

Speaker 1 (01:48:26):
And he gets arrested, and will gets arrested go to
jail for the rest of his life, certainly.

Speaker 2 (01:48:34):
Although his punishment will be less because I do believe
that that Arnold and his kid will not press charges
for for the atrocities. Committed against you.

Speaker 1 (01:48:42):
Do you think the city of Minneapolis might press charges
for those bomb threats?

Speaker 2 (01:48:47):
You know what? Like, I want to talk about the
implications of the actions of this movie afterwards, because I
think it's really important because there's a lot to take
in here. But the police surround him with guns as
he has the toy, and now jake Lloyd his glip,
his grip slips off of this sign and he begins
to plummet, and just like the beginning of the movie,

(01:49:08):
when a turboman in the episode Jamie was watching it
gets saved. He is turboman saves the President's kid who's
falling off a cliff. Arnold gets to save his son
as he plummets to his death, and he does save him,
much to the chagrin of Evil Internet Episode one fans.

(01:49:29):
Jake Lloyd survives this movie and is carried to the
ground and there's this really there's this this moment right
here where we go to this like really sweet sentimentality
where he returns him to his mother and he gives
this really funny there you go, ma'am, And jake Lloyd

(01:49:52):
has this really nice moment and it's a good acting
moment from him too, where he talks about how he
wishes his dad could have been there, and even in
this moment where like all of his dreams just came true, right,
he was saved by Turbo Man, he got to go
through this big action chase and he's okay and he's
back to his mom. All he can think about is
that he wishes his dad, his real hero, was there
with him.

Speaker 1 (01:50:12):
Can I make something that's very hard for me to confess?

Speaker 2 (01:50:17):
Oh, I got.

Speaker 1 (01:50:18):
I got a little teary eyed at that.

Speaker 2 (01:50:22):
Let me don't. Don't be embarrassed because I'm about to
say something too. As we go through this, but he's
talking about how he wishes his dad could have been there,
and then on top of it, they go then extra mile.
It's not just that he wishes his dad was there.
He now doesn't care about the promise. All he cares
about is that he yelled at his dad on the phone.
And he feels so sad that he yelled at his dad.

Speaker 1 (01:50:44):
He thinks he is the reason his dad didn't show
up because he yelled at his dad, which is a
total kid thing.

Speaker 2 (01:50:49):
Yes, and it's so well done too, and like the
words he said, like it's it's everything you would actually
hear a kid say in a situation like that. And
he's talking about how sad he is and he's like,
and now Dad's a at me and it's all my
fault and he and he hates me, and Arnold, he
doesn't hate you. He loves you more than anything in
the world.

Speaker 3 (01:51:07):
And and and uh and Rita Wilson at this moment
is like, that's that kind of sounds like the only
Austrian man in the entire state of Minnesota.

Speaker 2 (01:51:18):
That sounds like the guy I'm married. And she's confused
and uh, Jake Floyd's like, how do you know? And
uh he goes, well, who would know better than and
he takes the helmet off and he goes me and uh, Dad,
and I love the Rita Wilson, she's Howard. She's surprised.
And then Howard because he's in the big muscle suit
and he looks good in the muscle suit.

Speaker 1 (01:51:39):
That love the first time that she noticed that what
a rocking bod.

Speaker 2 (01:51:45):
And he did just save the day. So there is
part of that there too. But then we get the
moment that made me tey eyed. Uh and and and
over the years has made me increasingly teary eyed because
after that sequence, which already got me in my feels, uh,
you know, I'm not quite teary eyed yet. The kid
hears Myron going by, and you know, let's let's be
real about something. This is a moment where we have

(01:52:05):
to be real about this character. Unhinged, absolutely terrorist, one
hundred percent, but all of it was in pursuit of
not being the disappointment that his father was. And you
have to commend him for that, because you know, everybody's
got a little unstable side to them. I know I've
had moments.

Speaker 1 (01:52:23):
He has a solid motivation.

Speaker 2 (01:52:25):
Yes, and and and he's and at this moment he
goes from this slapstick character like to this sort of
sympathetic where it's like kind of still funny. But Jake
Lloyd stops everything and runs up to him as he's
being you know, swept away, and gives him the toy.
And I think what works perfectly here is Sinbad's delivery,
like he almost can't believe that this kid did it,
and he's just kind of like wow, like thank you.

(01:52:48):
You know, my my son's gonna be real happy. And
there's this moment where you feel like that character knows
he's going to jail, he knows he's in trouble, right,
but he still gets to give that his kid that
toy he really wanted. He still gets to be a
little bit of a good day. And it's like, dude,
I watched it this time and I was like, all right, okay,
jingle all the way he's doing it, I guess this

(01:53:08):
is happening, and I it was. It was really really
well done in a really a really sweet, surprisingly sweet
ending to now of course the post credit sequence is coming,
so it's not quite the end, but uh, really sweet
way to cap off this story. It was really everybody's
learned their lesson.

Speaker 1 (01:53:28):
It was really interesting that the I guess the main
critique or the reputation of this movie is that it's
a toy commercial for a toy that doesn't exist. That
it is really emblematic of, you know, the consumer greed
of the time. But the ending totally contradicts that. And

(01:53:53):
I mean it's is it schmoltzy Maybe on the face
of it, but yeah, but when you look at the
structure of the film and you know the arts of
all these characters, and you know what they want versus
what they need, Like there's some real screencraft, there's some screenwriting. Yeah,

(01:54:13):
there's a real understanding of all of these themes and
elements that you need for a solid screenplay. And I
don't know, it was really interesting to see a movie
that was built as one thing, you know, and on
a completely different note, like a note that contradicts. That

(01:54:36):
makes me think that people checked out after a certain
point and stopped giving the movie a chance, probably after
you know, the turbo main sequence really started jumping the shark,
which it does. I wouldn't have it any other way,
but I'm objectively speaking, it does.

Speaker 2 (01:54:57):
Yeah, I believe I love that whole sequence. I'm honest.

Speaker 1 (01:55:00):
I wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest.

Speaker 2 (01:55:02):
But I read a review that sort of like it
sort of acknowledges what you just said there, but then
it is like and then the movie gives it all
away when the kid says, I have the real Turboman
at home, because at the end of the day, he's
not idolizing his father, he's idolizing this. But like, that's
not that's yes, that's what I'm saying. It's not it's
it like that review bothered me so much I was

(01:55:24):
gonna leave a comment, but I was like, well, maybe
I'll just bring it up on the show. And uh,
I want to talk about it here because he's he's
saying it not in a way of saying like, oh, well,
my dad's Turboman. So that's why he's cool, you know,
like his dad is cool because he not only did
he keep his promise, he saved his life and he

(01:55:48):
literally dressed as this kid's favorite character. Like you know,
I know he's got Captain America on his wall, but
like Turboman's the dude for this guy. His dad gave
him everything he have wanted without buying him a single present.
And that's the whole point of this. His dad is
his hero. I just I don't know, man, I that

(01:56:08):
that review made me. It's like you didn't even watch
the movie.

Speaker 1 (01:56:11):
Or you wanted to to shoot on the movie and
uh retooled things to meet that.

Speaker 2 (01:56:22):
Yeah. So either he didn't understand it or you're malicious.
There's no.

Speaker 1 (01:56:26):
Yeah, And you know that's a I didn't see the
post credit scene, so for me, that's where the movie ends.
Oh and and Phil Hartman chows back up briefly. He
has egg knog all over his face.

Speaker 2 (01:56:38):
And his kids like he's smelling bar.

Speaker 1 (01:56:41):
But but even better. He's like what's going on? And
the kids like, oh, uh, Jamie's dad is Turbo Man.
And Ted realizing that he just he just hit on
Turboman's wife, he's like, all right, we gotta go.

Speaker 2 (01:56:57):
We got let's get out of here. It's it's perfect,
and it's very very movie villain esque, you know, when
let's get out of here Batman villain almost like you know,
Animated series has a lot of that, where it's like, oh,
it's the bet, let's go. Yeah, very let's get out
of here. And he pulls Johnny away, and Johnny's like, hey, Dad,
I want to stay. It's really good, really really funny

(01:57:20):
and and yeah very sweet. Ending. There is a post
credit sequence. I choose to ignore it, but I have
to bring it up because it will ultimately be a complaint.
So they're standing there Christmas Christmas morning, and uh, you know,
Rita comes up and gives Arnold a hug and says, man,
and you went all he went through all this trouble

(01:57:41):
just to get Jamie a present. I can't wait to
see what you got me. And Arnold makes the scared
face at the camera and it zooms in at him,
just like it did earlier with Turboman bit. Uh. That
does undoes a lot of good will, But again, it's
not part of my viewing experience anymore. I know it's coming.

(01:58:03):
I don't watch it, mom, I watched it this time,
so I could fairly grade it, uh and say that
that undoes the sweetness of the ending. But ultimately, like
you know, like I don't hold that against the movie
too much because like most people, that's where their experience ends,
is the actual ending of the movie. So that's where

(01:58:25):
I'm going to choose to.

Speaker 1 (01:58:26):
Yeah, I'm kind of to the point of not acknowledging
post credit scenes, like not accepting them as cannon.

Speaker 2 (01:58:31):
They are annoying as fuck. I'm sorry they are. They
annoy the shit out of me.

Speaker 1 (01:58:37):
Like, I don't know if the original Iron Man knows
what an Adam Baumer created with with that post credit
scene being as being as much of a crowd pleaser
as it was.

Speaker 2 (01:58:50):
Now that said, I don't mind credit easter eggs like, uh, fine,
episode episode one. At the end of it, there the
Darth Vader breath is heard. I think it's cool it's.

Speaker 1 (01:59:00):
Just a totally different thing.

Speaker 2 (01:59:02):
That's what I mean. Like, and like there are times
where credits will include things like a couple of there
was a Conjuring movie that like showed a flash of
Annabelle to tease that Annabelle was going to be the
next movie during their credits, like stuff like that, Like
I appreciate, but like.

Speaker 1 (01:59:16):
To me, I see that that's the same thing as
Back to the Future two playing the trailer for Back
to the Future three at the end.

Speaker 2 (01:59:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's kind of fair thing.

Speaker 1 (01:59:27):
It's not it's not a scene. It's not part of
the story. The move Back to the Future too. It
has ended effectively.

Speaker 2 (01:59:34):
It's a teaser, and in this movie, it just there's
nothing that it serves other than just that. It almost
felt like like when people show like a blooper at
the end of the credits. It's like that's what it
felt like to me. So I don't you know if
that's if if you hate this movie so much that
that's a reason that you're not gonna like it, Like
all power to you, But you know, most people are
going to check out at the ending. That's when they're

(01:59:55):
gonna end it, you know, especially now streaming services. As
soon as it hits the credits, the window is gonna
shrink to the upper two thirds of the screen and
it's gonna say, here's another movie for you to watch,
and people are gonna click it, or they're gonna back out,
whatever they do. For me, I just take the disc out.
But yeah, we've reached the end of the movie. And

(02:00:19):
that's that's that's it. That's that's jingle all the way.
So I feel like, you know, there's nothing else for
us to do but to give our final verdicts on
the movie and just kind of raise our final thoughts.
And I guess I'll start with you here as the
person who's never seen the movie before, you were familiar
with it. You had somewhat of an expectation going into

(02:00:40):
the movie, and on top of that, you had knowledge
of everybody else's feelings about it. So how did you
come out of this?

Speaker 1 (02:00:48):
I have to establish to down low my expectations were.
I was not looking forward to watching this movie.

Speaker 2 (02:00:55):
I want to give a peek behind the curtain to
everybody real quick. There have been a few times that
this movie has been brought up, and amost every time
it's been met with a sigh and that right there
in the shape.

Speaker 1 (02:01:04):
And I think, actually because my wife watched this with me,
and as I pressed play, I said the words, damn
Connor for making me watch this.

Speaker 2 (02:01:17):
No, I got another movie that you can say that
for later.

Speaker 1 (02:01:21):
So okay. So to be fair, I went in with
very low expectations, which is going to make it far
easier for the movie to impress me. It just has
has to meet a baseline level of quality, which it did,
and the things that don't quite work about it kind
of transcend the let's say, actual subpar quality on the

(02:01:48):
face of it and gels with the rest of the
elements of the movie. That's kind of the great thing
about filmmaking. There are no hard rules. So if you
have an actor that maybe is miscast by a certain definition,
you know, a clever director, a good supporting cast, and

(02:02:10):
you know just the right the right scripts can actually
like completely redefine it and make that one of the
best parts of the movie. And watching Arnold was a
delight from beginning to end. So this movie represented more

(02:02:32):
things to me than just a star vehicle for Arnold Swarzenegger.
It really surprisingly touched on topics that I think about
a lot come the Christmas season, you know, the way
that the holidays actually brings out the ugliest of people.
The way that things that I love as a child

(02:02:54):
have been real to me as you know, tools of
marketing and and consumption, and how to reconcile that with
the genuine affection I have for those very hood childhood memories.
And how Christmas isn't pure in the sense that it's
you know, the family oriented, values oriented holiday that a

(02:03:19):
lot of people wish it was. But these things kind
of rise above each other to amount to something that
I don't know is flawed, but somehow the flaws make
it more endearing, Like after the hassle and the chaos
of shopping and traveling, you know, we basically go through

(02:03:40):
Helen back just to spend time with our families, and
in the end, it's always worth it, you know, if
you're with the people you love. So in a way,
I mean, this movie is kind of better than I
could have hoped for, like that it achieved something like
that is quite remarkable. But I'm also going to temper
things because there are flaws I acknowledge with the film,

(02:04:03):
and I feel like a lot of my own personal
feelings about the holidays are are are what this review
is really about, more than you know, my critical analysis
of the film. But hey, man, I gotta give it
an actually good and I'm I'm I'm closer to give
it giving it and actually great than I am not
that bad.

Speaker 2 (02:04:24):
Wow. Okay, Yeah, so so you started this process, uh, cursing,
cursing my name and that.

Speaker 1 (02:04:34):
No, it's it's like you pull out a lump of
coal from your stocking and then you hit it with
a hammer and then there's like a you know, there's
actually a nice present underneath. I was gonna say a diamond.
It's not exactly a diamond, but it's maybe like a

(02:04:55):
uh what I'm I What am I reaching for here?
Like a really nice pair of socks or something. Oh okay,
talks are a great present now that I'm you know,
an old man.

Speaker 2 (02:05:07):
Okay, all right, well, hey, I'm happy to hear it.
Of course, this was a movie that I brought to
the fold, so you're you know, for me, I don't
know how you feel when you do this stuff, but
there's there's this almost sense of like nervousness that I
get when I bring a movie, you know, because it's
like it could go one of two ways. Okay, we've

(02:05:27):
we've we've had movies in the past that haven't done
very well on the show, and we've had movies that
have done very well. And bringing a movie like this
was especially kind of a pretty nerve inducing I'll say,
not not quite nerve wracking, but nerve reducing experience, because
this was a child that's stable for me. I mean like,

(02:05:49):
this was something I watched year after year, sometimes several times, uh,
you know, during the Christmas season, and it was always
very very special to me. And there there's it's it's
sort of not as I've gotten older, you know, sometimes
it gets harder to watch a lot of movies around
the holidays. You know, you just get busy. A lot

(02:06:10):
of things happen. I know this year especially, you know,
things have been absolutely crazy in my world, and so
getting an opportunity to watch this again was special. I said,
at least I can take that away from this. But
I took more away from this. I would have I
would have I would have said a lot different things.
But I'll say this, I cannot fathom how anybody could

(02:06:32):
hate this movie. It just it isn't in my I
don't get it. While there are sequences that certainly take
you out of some of the nice things that the
movie is trying to do, some of the good deeds
that it handles, for me, it absolutely adds to the
comedic value of the movie. Nothing in this film does
not work for me. This is not quite certified Christmas

(02:06:55):
classic at the level of like for me, the top
three are always going to be Home Alone too. That's
not my favorite. My favorite is How the Grinch Stole
Christmas with Jim Carrey, and right next to them are
Is Scrooged. Those are Those are my big three Christmas
movies that I think I'd put up there with just

(02:07:17):
great movies. This is, though, I feel a classic Christmas
movie is everything I'd want from a Christmas movie experience.
And though it's not at that top level, it's very
very close. So a couple of years ago I would

(02:07:38):
have given this an actually good, I'm gonna give this
an actually great. I love this movie. I will continue
to love this movie. And the day that I bring
a child into this world is the day I get
to pass this movie on to another generation and do
so gladly.

Speaker 1 (02:07:53):
Wow, that's a special feeling you have, you know, when
you get to be our age, old enough to be parents,
and you start thinking about the movies so that you want
to show your kids.

Speaker 2 (02:08:04):
I mean, you know, Christmas movies to me is always
a Star Wars is always coming first, but after that,
it's always Christmas movies. And you know, it's it's because
this holiday, like you said, you know, for some people,
and it's really unfortunate. It's it's a it's a tough
day and it's a tough time of year. And you know,
even though it's not necessarily not that for me, you know,

(02:08:25):
for me, my childhood, I'll say this, it wasn't a
perfect childhood, but every Christmas, my family did everything they
could to make it the most special time of year.
So I get those feelings still. But obviously, you know,
some of us also, maybe our families, maybe some of
those people aren't around anymore, and maybe those feelings are
in the past, and maybe you look back at photos
and you get teary eyed, or you remember, you know,

(02:08:48):
you're a present you got, or where you used to
spend Christmas, you know, whatever that is. But there's so
much happiness around the holiday, from the marketing of it
to the feelings that you get to even for some
people the religious aspect of it. So when you watch
a movie, you know, for me, you really want it
to be special, and when you find that movie, I

(02:09:10):
feel like that's the first thing you think of when
you when you pass movies down to the next generation.
So this is definitely on that list for me. If
i'm if, if I'm being frank so very excited that
we got to cover.

Speaker 1 (02:09:21):
This, that was a much more sentimental discussion about jingle
all the way then then I think a lot of
people would be expecting. But hey, man, uh, you know,
I love when a movie can can make you feel
something in a way that's not obvious, like yeah, for

(02:09:44):
like for it's a wonderful life to to movie. I mean,
obviously that's what it was. It was designed in a
laboratory to to move you. Basically, it's scientific proven to
do that. But for you know, a a same uh
kind of lightweight comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. For that to evoke,

(02:10:06):
you know, the deeper meaning of Christmas? To me, that
is not nothing. That's a really special sactly. Yeah, but
I really cherished that, So I guess this is the
time that we thank all of you for listening to
this very thorough especially for us very thorough discussion.

Speaker 2 (02:10:25):
Dude, we've been here, this is this and peep behind
the curtain again. This has been the longest discussion that
we've had in probably like six plus months. I mean,
maybe maybe the year.

Speaker 1 (02:10:35):
This might be a long time. You know, usually we
don't go through a movie beat by beat, but I
guess that's just how much we had to we had
to say. I wanted to make sure that we didn't
leave any stone unturned.

Speaker 2 (02:10:47):
I know we addressed everything. Yeah, I agree, I'm agreeing
with you there. I think we did a good job.

Speaker 1 (02:10:54):
I hope so, I hope we did jingle all the
way justice.

Speaker 2 (02:10:57):
Yeah, which is a weird setting.

Speaker 1 (02:10:59):
I never I would say, even me.

Speaker 2 (02:11:02):
I never expected that to come out of this, but
very pleased.

Speaker 1 (02:11:05):
Yeah, but thank you again to everybody, especially if you
made it this far. Happy holidays to you. It's just
being counter at this point, but hey, that's cool. But yeah,
if you are still here for someone goodly reason, it
probably means that you know you're crazy enough to continue
listening and watching to our rambles about these these mostly

(02:11:29):
forgotten movies. So yeah, if you if you liked what
you heard and want to check out some discussions we've
had about other movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know, we
talked about Terminator three, you know, one of our earlier episodes.
If you want to hear us talk about another Jake
Lloyd movie. We've talked about The Phantom Menace twice. Yes,

(02:11:50):
we have, and we have a whole lot of episodes
about a range of films. You know, our previous film,
our previous discussion before this again was about the remake
of Black Christmas, you know, the slasher movie.

Speaker 2 (02:12:07):
So God, is it different from this movie?

Speaker 1 (02:12:10):
No? Different? But I think we've run the whole gambit
of Christmas media. I think we've run the spectrum.

Speaker 2 (02:12:17):
Yeah yeah, And this episode is this episode is going
to be our last one before Christmas. We will be
taking time to celebrate with our families, and we hope
you do the same. But we hope if you're in
the Christmas mood that you listen to us before or
on the holiday, spend your holidays with that bad media. Obviously,
with Gabe said, liking, subscribing, commenting, all of those things

(02:12:40):
would help us tremendously however, you can also if you'd
like to, you can support us on Patreon as well
Patreon dot com slash that Bad Media. We have some
exciting tears. Any tier gives you access to exclusives on Patreon.
Sometimes we will later release those, so there are several

(02:13:01):
episodes that you can see. Most recently we released our
original Christmas special, Original Not That Bad Christmas Special, which
covered Santa Slay, another very different Christmas movie experience. So
if you want to see that stuff early or sometimes exclusively,
there are things on there that no eyes have seen
other than our patrons. It would be amazing for you

(02:13:23):
to check it out, and you'd be supporting independent, small
creators like us who are just trying to make our
way in the world. But we know you are too,
so don't feel pressured to support us in that way.
Of Liking, subscribing, and sharing is more than enough to
spread our names around and give us more reason to
have an ego. So besides that, that might be it.

Speaker 1 (02:13:44):
Right, that is it for now. We'll be back in
twenty twenty five. Who knows what we'll be talking about then.
Oh okay, beyond the lookout for other content from us,
we put out a video on the brat Pack documentary

(02:14:04):
by Andrew McCarthy, which was a really fun video to make,
and I had a lot of thoughts that I just
felt compelled to share with people. So if you're interested
in in that, you can go check that out. And
you can check out our catalog for other videos on
you know, pop culture movies, television. You know, if you've

(02:14:27):
ever thought, hey, like I remember this movie I saw
one time, or what happened to that actor? You know,
maybe we've made a video on that. So so go
check out the rest of the channel. Be on the
lookout for more content when we come back from the holidays. Yeah,
and gosh, I think it's time that we close this
out because I don't know how I'm going to cut

(02:14:48):
this down.

Speaker 2 (02:14:50):
Yeah, and I'll say it to everybody for one one
last goodbye. If you're watching this during the holiday seasons,
I wish you and anyone you love a very happy
holiday season, a mayor Christmas, a happy Kwanza, happy Honkah,
whatever it is that you celebrate out there, I hope
you celebrate it with the people you love and have
a great time. I'm very fortunate to be doing so.

(02:15:11):
On my end, I want to quick give a quick
shout out to our biggest supporter, my mom, who just
had her cancer surgery, has it removed and she's going
to be home and there for us with the holidays
this year. Can't be more grateful. So I want to
thank her for her support over these years, and I
want to thank everybody for listening.

Speaker 1 (02:15:30):
Well, you can't be that beat that as a as
a final note, so we're going to close out. Yeah,
I'm Gabe, I'm Connor, and this is not that bad
media or slash that bad media. It's a torible time, yeah,
saying put that cookie down.

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