October 21, 2023 • 56 mins
Episode 10: "New Co-Host, Old Friends, and Workplace Woes"
In this week's episode, we're introducing a fresh voice to the mix! With Thea away, meet our new co-host, Lil' Momo, a former Twitch streamer from Tennessee. Ever wondered what led him to step away from the streaming world? He's ready to spill the tea on the drama that unfolded behind the scenes.
But wait, there's more! Lil' Momo is also fired up about workplace toxicity. You know, those jobs where you give it your all and get nothing but a "k, thanks" in return? We're diving deep into that relatable struggle, and you won't want to miss it.
And for our regular listeners, Charlie's back with another wild ER tale that you have to hear to believe. From mysterious patients to unexpected encounters, it's a story that will leave you on the edge of your seat.
So, if you're up for a rollercoaster of emotions, insights, and revelations, this episode is for you. Tune in now!
In this week's episode, we're introducing a fresh voice to the mix! With Thea away, meet our new co-host, Lil' Momo, a former Twitch streamer from Tennessee. Ever wondered what led him to step away from the streaming world? He's ready to spill the tea on the drama that unfolded behind the scenes.
But wait, there's more! Lil' Momo is also fired up about workplace toxicity. You know, those jobs where you give it your all and get nothing but a "k, thanks" in return? We're diving deep into that relatable struggle, and you won't want to miss it.
And for our regular listeners, Charlie's back with another wild ER tale that you have to hear to believe. From mysterious patients to unexpected encounters, it's a story that will leave you on the edge of your seat.
So, if you're up for a rollercoaster of emotions, insights, and revelations, this episode is for you. Tune in now!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, everybody, it is the chat podcast.
(00:16):
Thea is out, but it is me, Charlie.
I've also got a special co-host here today, and hopefully from here on out, I think he's
one of the sweetest most gentle homos I've ever met in my life again.
Lil Momo, I'm lying.
I'm doing buddy.
What's the fairy face?
I'm Lil Momo.
And you see there you go.
That's it.
(00:36):
You're, you were such a little twinkle toes.
It's so sweet.
I love it.
You make it just when you talk.
It just sprinkle pixie dust everywhere.
It's great.
Anyway, let's do some toxic.
Well, that's, yeah, I can say that.
So yeah, he's here.
We're going to talk about that.
And then also Scott now was going to say this.
(00:56):
So it's going to be cliche and I told him this earlier, but since he said it, I feel okay
saying it's got to too hot.
Everybody's giving him a round of applause.
Y'all did not.
Yeah.
Hey, it works.
It works.
He's a good looking dude.
I wouldn't know.
You thought, bro, it's time to Google.
Need to go check him out.
(01:16):
I just, I hope, am not in Google.
Yeah, no, no.
Yeah, well, I mean, have you ever Googled yourself?
Yes.
Did you?
Yeah, that's true.
That's, yeah, I tried to stay away from Google.
Google's dangerous.
But yeah, you know, so there you go.
Well, I love it.
So how you been doing little mo?
Mo?
Yeah, yeah, with the two.
(01:38):
Yeah, I mean, I'm good.
I'm good.
We're doing a lot of stuff on the sides over here.
We're changing jobs.
We're looking for a new one because we got some drama there.
And we're streaming over on Twitch.
Joining this little podcast here with a co-host.
Hey, two.
Yeah, or two or three.
You know, I don't know how many there is.
Well, so Theo was supposed to be here, but she's out doing like job-bley things, you know,
(02:04):
okay, responsible stuff.
Exactly.
And then, and then you're over there trying your hardest to do the same thing it sounds
like, but how's it working?
I made five dollars on my last stream.
What do you mean?
Oh, okay, look at you.
Five holds all hairs on that stream.
That's amazing.
That's not only fans, but it'll do.
(02:26):
Yeah.
Oh, we're going to get into that.
We're going to get into that.
So, job-bley things, job-bley things.
So hold on.
That, you know what?
Scottie's already making a name for himself on this show because he just perfectly sailed
us right into that next topic.
And it just is so beautiful.
I'm, tell me about your only fans.
(02:46):
It could, is there one?
I've heard rumblings, mumblings, little birds.
Yes, Scottie.
Let's hear about it.
No, little momma.
Let's hear about it.
I mean, yeah, wait.
I don't say, I don't have one.
Oh, damn.
Oh, okay.
Shit, I guess I'll minimize the screen.
That's about to go sign up.
So, so, so, what's up?
What are you doing this now?
(03:07):
I am in the process of starting one.
I've been collabing with my boyfriend for a while.
And the collapse do pretty damn well.
I don't have anything on my page, but I have like 20 follows for no reason.
Well, not hold on, but is it yours or is it his?
We've been doing collabs on his, but I was like, you know what, if we're already doing collabs
(03:29):
on yours, I might as well go ahead and start my own.
So now you have your own separate only fans?
Yep.
I'm thinking of mine.
Uh, I mean, I think he got up to the top five and a half person or something.
What?
Yeah, he does very well.
(03:49):
I've very proud of him.
And a half percent, the top 5.5 percent.
That was it.
Yes.
Okay.
And where is my free membership?
Cause you know, actually, he has a free subscription model.
Uh, uh, no, listen, that's supposed to get you hooked in and that doesn't do anything for
(04:11):
me.
If I don't see it on Twitter, I don't go to it because if you're not going to see some
stuff on Twitter, well, bitch, send me the link.
That's like a preview to get you hooked over into the only thing.
I'm okay with that because people tend to post more on Twitter than they do on their free
only fans.
(04:31):
That's fair.
Okay.
So what's the send me right now?
So I want to look at this.
I want to give you my honest real reaction.
I will show you next time.
No, bitch.
We play that game.
Sydney, Sydney, the name, the screen name or whatever.
I can't do that.
Oh, you fucking cunt.
(04:53):
Listen, there are certain things that I would allow you to have a pass on.
This is not one of them.
I need to give you my honest reaction.
I can send you his.
Are you on it?
I am on there for the collapse.
Oh, okay.
So the next is the same thing.
What's the difference between yours and his?
(05:14):
Uh, he actually posts.
Okay.
So you weren't going to send me a link to something that has nothing on it, but you'll
send.
Okay.
Well, whatever.
So what did I just said?
I was in the process of starting mine.
Okay.
Well, send me in the text, his Twitter.
I'm leaning.
Oh, the bitch.
Come on.
Chop, chop.
Bitch, I'm trying.
(05:34):
Because I want it because here's the thing.
Hold on.
Now, let me ask Scotty.
Before you were married and only fans was a thing, would you have done it?
Uh, I thought about that before.
I don't know.
Like, money wise, depending on if I needed it, I guess.
(05:56):
I don't know.
Well, like you could still technically do it now.
I mean, where you and you and your.
You were mysterious.
So I'm like, you know, wow, and out there, I was like, well, something different and more
money.
So, okay.
Okay.
Look, now we're getting somewhere.
I have like six numbers for you.
For me?
Yes.
Because I live a life of people.
(06:18):
Send it to every single fucking one.
No, don't.
That could be.
That's promotion.
You want some new followers?
No.
Well, I don't know if you'd want some of them, but that would, did you send it to me on snap?
I, because I can't find your number on here.
Oh my God.
Go to the last text message.
Yeah, that's so much work.
(06:40):
All right, all right.
All right.
So I'm pulling it up right now.
You ain't got to.
That's a, but I am.
Hold on.
Can I read some of what he puts in his?
No, no, no.
Why, why not?
Because I am a sweet and innocent boy.
God the lies.
(07:00):
Well, he called my little mama.
Yeah, exactly.
So he called hold on.
So your boyfriend calls himself the scorpion God on Twitter.
Yes.
God.
God, I have to hit me with the stinger.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh, wait.
Everyone is like, is that him with the white hair?
(07:24):
Yeah, he, do you know who Scott Steiner is or was?
Yeah.
That, that type of thing.
Okay, wait, new video on only that's signer.
What do you wrestler?
Yeah, yeah.
Big old wrestler.
Yeah, I, yeah.
Wow.
(07:45):
Okay.
So there's one of you two.
That's not, that's not, that's not, that's nothing there.
There's nothing.
There's nothing.
Oh, there's his member.
But there's a, there's nothing here.
Why don't you do this to me?
Because you want to leave it alone.
God, oh, there's that one.
(08:06):
Oh, that's cute.
It's kind of brief you.
Yeah.
Well, I need to listen.
If I don't get to see any of the goods, then I'm just, I'm not going to pay for it.
You know what I mean?
It's like Costco checking your card when you come in like, what if you don't have a card
and you just want to see what's there before you get a card and you can't?
Or see, that's when you find a nice lady to be like, hey, can I use your card?
(08:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying like for someone new, like they just want to check it out.
Why are you checking for cards if someone locks them without?
Do they even do that anymore?
Yeah, they stopped.
Yeah.
No, at least in my experience, they, they at least expect you to flash it, but you could
literally flash them, you know, anything.
(08:49):
Your blood type card.
They would be okay with it, I think.
Okay.
So I have a question.
So I'm looking.
I may answer.
I'm looking at this and I'm seeing that his, his, his, his dick.
It has a gin.
I don't want to.
Well, it has a curve here.
(09:10):
Does that, that's the, that's the senior enough.
That's the, yeah, is that the, yeah, that's the stinger.
I like that.
So it does it, does that hurt?
No.
Bitch, it's me.
Yeah, that's true.
That's like hot dog down the hallway.
How do you?
- You've seen the shape of the toys today, like come on.
(09:30):
- Well I didn't ask if he had one of those,
what do those... - Sir, I am innocent,
I would never hold on.
I would say this to Scotty,
but I don't know,
he probably wouldn't want to see it.
But it, this looks like he would hurt.
- It's fine.
(laughing)
- God Jesus, no, it said there's a little...
- I think the part that hurts more
(09:51):
is that he's almost 300 pounds.
- Well, he's a, yeah, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, biggin'.
- He, he a biggin'.
- But that's how I like him.
- Yeah, that is how you like him.
- Same, same, same.
- Same, same, same, same.
- Yes.
- Where's that shame, uh, sound effect
from, uh, what is that, the color purple?
- Yeah, fuck it.
- I can't remember the movie that it's from, anyway.
(10:14):
Tell him to, if he's gonna post pictures of his dick,
to at least post pictures that are different,
because he's got the same one on here.
I feel like I'm doing a flip through.
- That's fair.
- I don't know.
It, it looks painful to me, honestly.
That's why I had to ask.
Like, it just, it looks like just that angle,
(10:36):
because it's not up and not down.
It's just, it's, it's, to the left.
Like a sharp left.
Clearly someone is very inexperienced.
- With that, yes.
- Do you ever get mistaken for a chaser?
- Or not a chaser, but a twink instead of a chaser?
- What's the difference?
(10:56):
- Okay, really?
A twink is a skinny fit, like, Gadood, that's, you know,
all, you know, they're not even fit.
- Yeah, but just skinny.
- Well, yeah, but they're like super, super mega skinny,
not fit at all, like no muscles, you know, whatever.
But they're into those same type of dudes.
That's a twink.
A chaser is obviously, you got to have that,
it's like, four muscular, that is into other bigger dudes.
(11:19):
- Oh, okay.
- See, that's your own one.
But I see every chaser as a twink, like in my head,
like maybe that's just because of what I've seen.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, no, no.
- No.
- Sounds like I've got to press the button.
- Yeah, you get to see other, we'll tell you that's wrong.
(laughing)
(11:40):
- I gotta say, a lot of twinks are total fucking bitches
about the bit, sorry, you're too bagged.
It's like, okay, but I can throw you through a wall
and I'm like, whoo, what?
- Someone said the other day, yeah, he started to get a bone
around it and he was like, whoo, what am I doing?
- Well, somebody said the other day,
I forget where I saw it, but they were like,
(12:01):
where are all the chasers these days?
Like, is it harder?
Did you see them?
Do you see any of your fellow chasers out there?
Or do you find it slowly dwindling?
- I'm in fucking North Dakota, so of course,
I don't see many of them at all, but it's like,
we went to an event, I'm not even gonna name the event
because, yeah.
(12:22):
- Stole.
- If I'm just drama, but anyway,
it was in Florida last fall.
- Where was this event?
- Florida's in, Florida last fall.
- Okay.
- But yeah, I don't think of any credit to the organizers
'cause it was a complete shit show.
But anyway, it was like our first event
and like, I met a fellow chaser there
that became really different with,
we actually met like seven guys
(12:42):
that we like are super different with now
like we try and we're together and stuff.
But after that one experience,
I probably wouldn't go back to that one again, but.
- Yeah, that's a pretty little magical.
- Yeah, that's a pretty little magical.
- That was a first one I'd seen another chaser there
and like, shit, I don't know how many years.
- Well now I bet at Holden, it wasn't a,
it wasn't the bigger city one, wasn't?
(13:05):
- No.
- Okay.
- No.
- That's bigger Vegas.
- Oh, do they always do it in Vegas?
I thought they moved it around.
- I think they have like smaller events,
but they're one big one is always bigger Vegas.
- Yeah, they're bigger Vegas.
- Yeah.
- Well, okay, so then I at least want to make sure
that people know that these are apps,
like bigger city is like a, it's an app similar to Grindr,
(13:28):
except less pretentious.
(laughing)
I think it's probably the best way to do it.
- I mean the Grindr's, Grindr's the one you always start with,
you have to.
Grindr's like a baby passage. - It's like a baby passage.
- Yeah.
Grindr's the baby steps and.
- Oh.
- And then getting up there.
- Speaking of Grindr, I just have to say real quick,
I have a roommate who is very questionable.
(13:52):
- Oh.
- My old co-host for the Twitch.
(clears throat)
Why did I see his best friend on Grindr?
I said, hmm, I come home.
I say, oh, yep, there he is.
- Wait a second.
So he was, you saw him on Grindr and then you came home
and then you saw him in the house.
- Uh huh, like they were sitting on the couch,
(14:14):
like touching in there, of course,
both very, very straight boys.
It's like, (buzzer)
okay. - Wait a second.
So it's not like the one that you saw on Grindr
was openly out with his face on there?
- So he did, he has really long black hair.
- Yeah.
- So he did like the whole thing where it's like blocking his eyes,
but it's like, I know that face shape.
I know that skin tone.
(14:34):
I know that beauty mark over there.
(laughing)
And it's like, you went into like investigator mode, bro.
- I, because I opened it up as I was driving
and I was like, I mean, as my friend was driving,
I would never plan my phone while I'm driving.
But I get on there and I say,
that guy looks so much like, we're gonna call him Charles.
Like that looks like Charles.
And I look, I say, oh my God,
he's right next to Brandon, Jeffrey, and oh,
(14:56):
is he at my house?
So I go in, I say, (buzzer)
hi. - Oh no.
- So I run in, I grab like some random thing
off the counter.
Like I told my boyfriend, I was like,
hey, can you please make sure that this random item
is on the kitchen counter.
So I go in, I say, hi boys, I love your new picture,
by the way, and I like, I tap on my phone.
And I'm like, okay, bye.
(15:18):
- Wow. - Oh my God.
- Did he ever, like, did you get a response
from that or a reaction?
- His mouth just dropped.
And apparently when I left, he like got on his phone
and then all of a sudden he was like,
oh, I gotta, I gotta go somewhere.
And I was like, it's funny that he had to go so quickly.
So wait a second, it's not obviously a shocker.
(15:39):
You don't keep it hidden that you're a homosexual.
- No. - So.
- And my boyfriend lives here and he's a homosexual.
- A homosexual.
- But wouldn't he know that if he's on that,
he's playing with fire?
- Well, so we were together, so we weren't on Grindr,
but we took a like a week break.
(15:59):
And so we were both on there.
And I was just like, oh my God, have you seen him on here?
And he's like, yeah, I just sent him a message, Teehee.
- Oh my God.
- It's just like, oh my God.
- So did you ever mention it?
- Drama.
- Yeah, right.
Total drive.
Did you ever mention it to your...
- The other roommate?
- Yeah, yeah.
(16:19):
- I did say to him, I was like, I was like,
you said he has a girlfriend, right?
He's like, yeah, he just got a girlfriend like two weeks ago.
I said, oh, because three days ago I found him on Grindr.
- Wow.
And I showed him the picture, I was like,
see, I screenshot it for you, here you go.
- And what did he say?
- He was like, I don't know if I can hang out with him.
(16:40):
And I'm like, just because you're scared that you're gay,
it's like, it's fine.
It's really not a big deal.
You've been living with two homos for a year.
- See, that's what I was gonna say is,
like, do you think that the girlfriend is actually him?
I don't, I don't know.
Like, I don't know, that sounds kind of stupid.
There's something up there.
I mean, I said there were some up there for months.
(17:02):
(laughing)
- Yeah, I've done that.
- 'Cause like, let's have a name for my roommate.
We're gonna call him, tell me.
- Call him Mee-ho.
- Oh, okay.
- Mee-ho.
Okay, so Mee-ho, I have thought for like a year.
I was like, I'm pretty sure he got some sugar in his tank.
But I'm like, I'm-- - If he got to win the name.
- Yeah, I see.
(17:22):
- I said, you know what, I'm a leave it alone.
I'm a leave it alone.
But he does things and I'm like, Mee-ho, like, come on.
Like, you wonder why people ask you these questions?
Like, I came downstairs, he's sitting on his knees on the couch.
Leand, all the way over his little friend.
What did I call him before, Charles?
- Yeah, too close to my name, but yeah.
- Leand all the way over.
(17:43):
And Charles is like, legs totally spread.
I said, that is not how two straight people sit on the couch.
Y'all are on top of each other.
- You know, in their defense, one of my best friends is straight.
And he would always come over and want to cuddle.
- Oh yeah, so he's curious.
- I did give him a blowjob at the end of the night.
(18:03):
But the point is, is that very obvious.
- There is the option.
Like, he's not locked into it, right?
I mean-- - Look, all I can say is,
if I could physically show you how they were sitting,
there ain't no way.
- I wish you could.
- I honestly wish I could too.
- Hey, you know what?
- You should--
- And you and Mr. Beefe should go reenact to that in semi-ticture,
(18:26):
'cause I am kind of curious how it was.
Because the thing is, is like with him,
and I always thought this was weird,
because anytime I would flirt with him
when y'all were doing the Twitch stream or whatever,
he would always get overly defensive.
And I've always felt that if you do get overly defensive,
you're hiding something, or at least you, you know,
has some curiosity. - And see my thing is,
(18:46):
is Adam told him from Jeff,
I was like, I don't fucking care.
If you're gay, straight, trans, bi, asexual,
demisexual, pansexual, whatever, I was like,
I don't fucking care, I was like, just be yourself, be happy.
That's all.
So why you feel they need to sneak around
and do this then the other--
- I will never understand.
(laughing)
(19:06):
- Don't hide it.
- Now is this the same guy that's kind of causing you
some workplace drama?
- No, no, he works at a different store.
- Now the work drama is purely from my boss into things
that he has lied to his employees about.
- Okay, now let's recap that a little bit
because I was telling Scottie this,
(19:27):
is that you, at least, I don't know how it's changed now
that you're back there part time are doing that,
but is it still your boss, still your ex?
- Okay, technically yes, my ex from like six years ago,
you yes. - All right, all right.
But there's still that weird dynamic though, yeah.
- Not really because when he gets on my nerves,
I literally shut him down in front of anyone and everyone
(19:48):
and I'm like, now get out of my way,
I have things to do.
- Ooh.
- See, that's why I wish you would just record.
Like just stop before you assault him and just hit record
and then go at it.
- Look, the worst I ever did is I tried to walk away
from a situation that he was escalating.
He followed me and I said, bitch, I said,
(20:09):
I'm done with this situation.
He follows me some more and then he said something,
I cut him down low, slapped him across the face metaphorically.
I don't get physical.
(laughing)
- And he started getting all teary eyed
and he walked away in which I'll be honest.
I'm white, black, Latino and gay.
I'm a bitch.
(20:30):
So like he got teary eyed and started walking away.
I chased him, I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I was like, you want to follow me
and start this down the other thing.
So let's fucking finish it.
Like don't walk away from me, bitch.
He tried shutting the door, I kicked the door open.
I said, we ain't done.
(laughing)
So I kept going until I kept going.
Did you go in so feminine like where you just-
(20:50):
- I probably did, I probably fucking did.
My hand was going and everything.
- Oh yeah.
- But I got him until he sat down in his chair
in the office at work.
And I kept going, kept going, I said,
now do you have anything you want to fucking say?
(laughing)
- That's like a lot.
- That's like a lot to me no matter grabbing the footflop.
- Yeah, he got to see was.
- I know, he took off the chocolate and he's walking in.
(21:12):
He's like, no, me, you come here.
- Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, that was my thing.
(laughing)
Like I had this latino girl at work, Maria.
- Oh, it's always a Maria.
- I don't fuck, but that's her name, but.
(laughing)
- I ended up leaving.
- I believe in.
- I'm a profiler, I apologize Maria.
- I'm dare you, I know.
(21:34):
- But like I end up leaving and I was like,
she was like, oh my god, like are you okay?
And I was like, oh I'm fine.
He might need a few minutes though.
So we're gonna leave him alone in the office.
She's like, oh I just, I never heard you get so mad.
And I was like, girl, it's all good, I promise.
- I need a little work.
- Let's get back to work.
(laughing)
- Man, Mijo, if you're so good,
I have to bring you some more like,
(21:55):
the Tomales or something, would you?
You need a dessert, does he be cool?
- Yeah, that's funny though.
Well, I mean, did you at least get the porn across?
- Oh, absolutely.
And then when he finally came out,
I said, now you can go apologize to all the fucking employees.
And I walked him to each employee.
And I said, no, you can apologize to her.
You can apologize to him because you escalated situation
(22:16):
that had no business being where it did.
- Did you at least hold him by the collar?
- I didn't need to, he knew better.
- Okay, well.
- I mean, if he's fine, he's fine, you're like a little lost puppy.
- Yeah, like a lost puppy.
- Right, you got it.
- I've known him for like seven years.
He knows how it goes now.
- I don't know.
I was really hoping that I was gonna have something
just to visualize if you like, maybe pulling him
(22:36):
by the apron or something, you know?
Now, the most that happened physically between us
is he tried to throw his apron
'cause I work at a food job.
He threw his apron at me and I caught it
and I threw it back in his face.
(laughing)
And then I literally walked up and like,
chest checked him.
I know I was like, you can go back here.
- Well, but you didn't do a chest check?
- Yes, I did.
(22:58):
'Cause I said, I'm not gonna put my fucking hands on you.
What?
What?
(laughing)
- This is like a game of gay badminton.
- Sounds like what I would see if I was sitting
at Waffle House.
(laughing)
- This is a, this is, yeah, definitely a,
- This is a Waffle House story.
- Yeah.
- Like, can I just see my Waffle please?
(23:19):
(laughing)
- Look, that's the thing.
- I was so glad we didn't have any customers.
- When you go to Waffle House,
it's dinner with the Waffle House.
- Dinner in a show all the time.
And now when you go to the sandwich shop over
and you know, the weirdest part of Tennessee,
you get the same thing, it sounds like.
(laughing)
- God, man.
- At least when he said they didn't have any customers,
(23:39):
I'm like, oh, that was a Waffle House.
(laughing)
- That was a good one.
- Even at three in the morning.
- Good all awful Waffle.
There you go, you got all of that.
- I came up to my mom's Waffle House.
- What?
- Oh no, talk about a show.
What happened?
- How the hell was it?
- I was in middle school.
- Oh, okay.
So you've been knowing, okay.
(24:01):
- See, so Scotty has a very interesting family dynamic
that I don't know if he wants to get into,
but I've always found it really interesting.
And I don't, I think it's just how accepting it is
because with your dad and his situae,
I'll let you mention that if you want,
but that side of it and then your mom's side,
(24:21):
but they're still close, aren't they?
They're still friends?
- Yeah, I mean, they're fine.
I'd say they get along better now than
when they were very years ago.
- Okay.
So, well, and that's good.
But your dad, can we say he's gay?
- He's, yeah, I don't know.
- Or by or even.
- Or by or even.
(24:41):
- Even so.
- Even till this day, I'm still like, what the fuck?
But, okay, so when they were younger
in high school or wherever,
my dad had been with like men and women.
And then all of a sudden, like they randomly like,
got together and my mom was in foster care at that time.
(25:04):
So then she was living with my dad.
She was out of like, she had gotten out of the foster home
or something like that.
And then they had called her one day.
This is what I remember from when I was younger.
And basically told her like, you're gonna be going back
into the foster care system soon,
unless you're pregnant or married.
So then my dad was like, what were you getting married?
(25:25):
And we're gonna have a baby.
So they were, I mean, they were in love, like, you know,
whatever, but he didn't want her to go back into the care.
So they got married, like courthouse marriage, you know,
whatever.
- A green card baby.
(laughing)
- Well, then they had my brother and he was born,
my mom was like teen.
And then I was your aftertome.
(25:47):
But anyway, but when they got divorced,
it was mainly because there was some like,
I don't know, there was obviously tension.
Like he was not being faithful.
And then so she set fuck it on my kidney fifth believe there.
But he was like seeing men.
And that had happened a few times during their marriage,
while they had us boys when we were little.
(26:09):
So yeah, there's always been this history of like fluidity
and like, you know, he's, he's something.
I don't know.
(laughing)
He's not, he's not with anyone right now.
But now he, oh, like he was with a guy for a while, wouldn't he?
- Oh yeah, when they first got divorced,
I think they were together for like five years.
And then what was crazy though is like every year,
(26:31):
it seemed like at the end of every year,
like last day of school, my dad would like,
and this was like, and I think it started on like late
elementary school.
He would just try to connect with me and be like,
hey, are you feeling anything different about like boys
or girls or do you want to talk to anything?
Like he was just like being really supportive,
like case I was feeling that way,
because he knew he had already been through all that
(26:51):
and still was going through it.
But I was just happy to go like he kid,
like, oh no, dad, I'm cool.
I love girls.
I'm gonna have a white picket fence and a golden retriever
and like, Bob will be like,
- Wait, your parents talked to you about that stuff?
- Yeah.
Which I mean, you know, it's amazing to look back on that
and realize that now, but at the time I was just like,
I used my dad like asking you this stuff,
(27:12):
like I don't like it, I don't like guys.
But at that same time, of course, you know,
you know when you're, you know, you know, when you know.
- Yeah, and I had no idea.
- Oh really?
(laughing)
- I did not know until I gave it the college try.
- Oh, okay, well, I mean, it was different.
Usually, usually as like a young kid though,
(27:32):
you just like know something's off or different.
'Cause like I had girlfriends here and there,
but we always broke up on my shopping,
so that should have told me something.
(laughing)
Yeah, I think it was like the last day of,
I think it was the last day of the three if he had asked me that
and I was like,
yeah, I think I don't know, I kinda like guys,
(27:55):
but I haven't done anything and I don't know how I'm feeling
and then he kinda like, it's kinda like he was relieved
'cause he already had seen that I guess or, you know,
knew, so then he kinda opened up to me and was like,
well, you know, if that is how you feel
or if you wanna talk about it or whatever, so.
But then years after that, I came out to my mom in Waffa House.
(28:18):
(laughing)
- Wow.
- See, at least you had that, right?
I mean, and then my youngest brother is gay, so.
I mean, there's-- - Oh yeah, there's, yeah.
And now we can't say props to him in the sense
that we have another chaser on board.
It sounds like he is a twin, too, also likes the twinks.
(28:38):
- Oh, a little twin.
(laughing)
- Yeah, so how did, when did he come out?
- When he came out of my mom's vagina.
(laughing)
I don't, when I met him, I don't remember him being
very flamboyant, and in fact, he was pissed at me
'cause I wouldn't play a video game with him.
- I was gonna say, are you treating that up?
Because he had to fucking like, oh my God,
(29:00):
he had just to be where Oliver's walls in the bedroom.
He had like, he, every sign possible is there.
I was a holy shit.
(laughing)
Yeah, he's, as free flight is fine.
- Now, hope to see now. - That's me.
- I love 21.
- Oh God.
- Oh, he's a baby.
- Yeah.
- A twink baby, and he's at the 21 year old age.
(29:22):
- He's not gonna go like,
- He's super-twinked.
- Yeah.
- He's in his prime right now.
- He's apparently, he's apparently got a mechanic.
- Boyfriend, so that's where he's going to be.
- Oh, that, I don't know.
- That is a cliche.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Does the mechanic know that he's gay?
- Oh yeah, I think he's like his gay.
- Well, I know, but like, does the mechanic know
that himself is?
(29:42):
- Oh.
- But he's like a manly gay?
- Yeah, like he, see out there working on Toyotas
or Fords.
(laughing)
Like that's the big question.
- If he's working on Prius then, yeah.
- I'm gay.
- Who, who is it that does that, Joe?
- Joe, do you know?
- Yeah, Jeff Thump.
- Yeah, Jeff Thump.
- I just saw him like,
- A couple weeks ago.
(30:02):
- See, still a thing.
- I mean, he did really good.
Like, I really enjoyed a show.
I was like, I've never seen him like years and years later,
but it was good.
- At least it's not that, that one comedian
who, Dane Cook,
I'd, - Oh yeah, no.
- He's watched.
- Yeah, definitely.
(laughing)
Yeah, we'll skip that.
Yeah, he's a guy, he's washed up.
(30:23):
He's, he's washed up.
- He's a, he's a, he's a used come rag.
- Ooh.
(laughing)
- God, not the sock.
That's disgusting.
Somebody asked me the other day,
why would you use a sock?
And I had to, it was kind of odd to explain how a sock
is a perfect fit.
- And I mean, is that an ankle sock?
(30:44):
(laughing)
Is it a toddler sock, you know, well, it isn't.
What kind of sock is it?
- It just depends on the, not the length.
God, I, listen, I really wish I had socks the other day.
I was in the ER and the floor is so slippery in the ER.
And they, they make you take off your shoes and everything.
(31:08):
And the socks that I had on,
I did the ultimate gay no-no,
which is I had on socks and crocs.
But I did, listen, I did that.
- Are you sure you're gay?
(laughing)
- I know, I did that.
- Give me your gay card now.
- I was, what?
- Listen, no, I needed to, I knew what was gonna happen,
so I wanted to go prepared.
And so that's, I also wore my,
(31:29):
- And you can slip something else on?
Like what?
- Crocs and socks.
- Like ballet shoes?
- Yes.
- No.
I had on my crocs and socks and then I had on joggers.
(laughing)
- Oh my God.
- I know, I was definitely like dressing like a college dude.
- You need to talk to the council.
- You need to talk to the council.
- Yeah, yeah, the council, really.
(31:50):
It was embarrassing.
- I think you went to the ER just because
you were wearing an atrocity.
- Oh, look, that was too shay, too shay.
I can't be mad about that.
Yeah, I guess they should have admitted me for that honestly,
but listen.
- They were like, that's why it was 18,000 dollars.
- Like are you like,
looking for a mental health institute?
- This is the wrong place.
(32:11):
- Yeah, I know, but if we don't have one of those
in this small town, so yeah,
you have to kind of go to the ER, but no,
I went because I was stupid and I fell off the ladder
and I fell off the ladder on the day that it was the
the solar eclipse.
And have you tried not falling off the ladder?
Have you tried to shut the fat gap?
(32:32):
- Listen, I was working really hard on focusing.
- Can you still do a Sui's voice from Family Guy?
Oh my God, I haven't done that in a minute.
- I used to go out.
- It was the hell.
- It was the hell that bad.
- Oh, yeah, almost.
Kind of, it's a little f--
It's fading.
- It's fading around.
(32:53):
- It's fading in my old age.
But I was looking because you know with the solar eclipse,
you look in the shadows, they're more of a crescent.
They're not a regular shadow like you would see normally.
And I remember looking and I just kind of got lost
in the ambiance.
And I just fell backwards and I hit a tree that was behind me
(33:13):
and I folded up like a lawn chair.
(laughing)
And this would straight down to the ground.
And it was, you know, that's the one thing about falling
is it is in slow motion.
Everything.
- Usually, yeah.
- Yeah, usually it's always in slow motion.
And that's kind of how I imagine like everybody talks about
(33:37):
like when you die, your lifelike should before you're,
like that's kind of how I would imagine that
going very slow motion.
Not that I felt like I was dying,
but I didn't realize that because I have neuropathy,
which means I cannot feel anything in my feet.
And I didn't realize that I was standing
in a puddle of my own blood.
(33:58):
And--
- Oh, no.
- And it was pointed out to me from Thia
who was right there with me because she goes,
oh my God, are you okay?
I'm like, I think I'm okay.
And then I start moving.
I feel like 18 cracks in my back and everything.
And so I'm getting up, I'm walking around for a little bit
and she goes, your foot is in a puddle of blood.
(34:21):
And I'm like, no, it's not.
I'm in my crocs.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
It was no bueno.
- Well, at least she threw the crocs away.
- No, I just put them in the shower and cleaned them.
- Oh, that's the best thing about crocs.
- Why would I throw them away?
- Crocs are beautiful.
Why doctors wear them?
Come on now.
- No, no, sweetie.
(34:41):
They wear those out of necessity.
- I needed them.
It was my necessity.
And they're really not.
- If you fell, it came.
- Well, they did come back to Haunt me, that's for sure.
So what I found out had happened was when I was trying
to catch myself, my monkey instincts kicked in, I suppose.
And I guess my toes attempted to grab the edge of the ladder
(35:04):
and it pushed the skin if you take your pinky
and you just keep pushing, keep pushing,
keep until you can't push it no more.
Just keep pushing some more.
And that ripped right there at the seam.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah.
And so when I went in, I didn't know,
because again, the whole I can't feel things,
(35:26):
I didn't know what actually did tear, what broke,
whatever.
I didn't know if I might need stitches
because the bleeding didn't stop.
Like I remember waking up the next morning
and my sheets in my bed were kind of bloody.
- It was not good.
Thankfully I have my huge white sheets
and one of those mattress protectors.
(35:47):
So I just popped all that with some bleach.
But I went down to the ER and they were like,
yeah, looks like you're gonna need some stitches
and some toglue.
So they,
- Some toes.
- Yeah, some $18,000 toglue.
It was, it was some expensive gorilla glue.
That is no lie.
So they took that down there and they put it up
and then he got a little black light out and cured it.
(36:10):
And I'm like, God, I feel like a deck or something.
Like what do you do?
It's like some wood glue.
What's happening here?
- I'm gonna say that whole Jeep.
- Yeah, I know, right?
This is, I feel like loads is chopping me up right now.
And so he did that and then they took me for scans, X-rays, MRI, CT.
It was just everything.
(36:31):
It was $18,774 worth of shit.
That they ended up coming back and said, yeah,
so it looks like you ripped your toe.
Your lower back is,
well, it's crunched.
I already have degenerative disc disease.
So basically all it did was make that hole
(36:53):
where the nerves exit out through my lower spine.
A lot smaller.
So now the pain that I have shooting down my right leg
is shooting all the way down my right leg.
And it's, anyway, I gotta go to a spine doctor
and get injections now.
So, you know, I figured if I didn't go to the ER,
I wouldn't have content.
So that's the only reason.
- The only reason everybody that happened
(37:14):
is 'cause you were in Crocs.
- Guarantee you $6,000 of that hospital bill
was from the Crocs.
- Ah, you know what?
- Insurance ain't gonna cover this.
He was wearing Crocs.
- I would, I would be lying if I didn't agree.
- Because it, I really think so, honestly,
because the Crocs, because my foot,
I didn't have on the little back band of it.
(37:36):
So my foot slid out.
And I think I tried to catch myself.
So I stepped up again.
And that's when my toe was pushed all the way back.
And it was my pinky toe to make things worse.
And so yeah, it was.
- No, what, thank you.
- It was no point out.
- Sir, sir, I don't have a foot finish
(37:56):
could talk to me at your feet.
I hate feet, that's the thing.
Like I felt, and then the doctor,
God, this made me so mad.
So I'm standing there or sitting there,
laying there, whatever.
And he comes up, he doesn't put on gloves.
He doesn't do any that.
He just grabs a hold of my foot and he just lifts it up.
And he's like, "Oh, we got her."
No, no, Doc, please put my foot on gloves.
(38:18):
(crickets chirping)
Exactly.
I'm blessed.
- What is that?
- I have said this a doctor.
He's mad because he can't touch my foot.
(laughing)
What was that?
- That was so installing.
(laughing)
- Jesus.
- I didn't know if the spirits were coming or what?
(laughing)
(38:38):
I felt like I was playing Call of Duty again,
getting the shit scared out of me.
That's what it sounded like.
- We have some friends with a little less.
And the husband is a travel healthcare worker.
So it's their little dog.
- Ooh.
- Well, like the screaming.
(laughing)
- Yeah, it sounds like something.
That was kind of shook me a little bit.
(39:00):
But yeah, I literally started looking around.
(laughing)
- I did too.
I took off one earphone and I'm like,
"What's yelling?"
It was like, "Look, mom, oh, don't you?"
- Well, things like, I'm in my office right now.
And all the doors are closed.
So I'm just like,
"What happened?
What is that?"
- You were like, "I thought I was alone.
Is that the neighbor?
What is that?"
(39:21):
- Yeah.
- You're not wondering if we were in it too.
- Well, so that actually is a good segue into
what happened with the lady that was next to me at the ER
because that's what we heard when they were bringing her in.
She, I don't, I think she was like in her,
say, late 60s is what it sounded like.
And they were doing chest compressions on her
(39:42):
when they were bringing her in.
And so when the air is forced out through your vocal cords
with each in and out, it kind of had to,
- Yeah. (laughs)
- Yeah, it was a little Michael Jackson how to go.
- Yeah, that's what it was.
- I'm with that on a sound bite.
But that's what it's kind of what it was.
(40:03):
And so every time it would go in,
they would go in and it would sound like,
(laughs)
- No, just one he.
So. - Atchit?
- Yeah.
And then they would.
(laughs)
And then they would go out and it would sound like,
(laughs)
- Like, (laughs)
- It was so high pitched.
It wasn't that high pitched before, but anyway.
(40:24):
- Yeah.
- So it was kind of. - It was so high pitched.
- Yeah, so well, so yeah.
Then they brought this lady in and they did chest
compressions on her and then I was like,
oh my God, I think she's, I think she made it
'cause we heard like, are you okay?
(laughs)
And then we were like, what is that?
(laughs)
Who is that?
'Cause we were surrounded by a curtain.
(40:44):
We couldn't see anything.
Oh, we were just hearing all this and had to make up
our own images or whatever.
And next thing you know, they were like,
oh no, she's dead.
(laughs)
Oh, it was actually the daughter of the woman
who apparently was a very heavy Marboro fan.
(41:05):
- Oh, yeah.
- See, that's when you like throw the curtain
be like, look, if you don't get that dead broad out of here,
I will give you the most scathing, yelp review.
- Yeah, on the ER, I'm gonna leave it in yelp review.
- Yeah. - No, I don't, I could never.
- Yes, I could, that is something.
- Oh, but you have.
- Sure, I probably should actually.
(41:25):
I've done it for worse things, you know?
I've gotten free stuff out of it too.
Most of the time that's why I do it.
- Oh.
- And yeah, the ER in a small town, it's absolutely lovely.
- I know what it is now. - You should definitely
check it out.
Gotta love a good ER, ER visit.
- Yeah, I was gonna tell you about mine, right?
(41:46):
- You went to the ER, when was this?
- Yeah, this was last year.
- What happened?
- I had this septoplasty surgery
because of the like, deviated septum.
- Yep.
- And everything went great.
Surgery was fine.
- No hold on, leading up to that,
did you always have a deviated septum
or did something happen to cause that?
- No, I think I've always had it.
I wanna say it was a gradatory
(42:08):
'cause like it can be, most cases it is.
Pretty sure my mom and dad have it both.
No, actually, a lot of people have other shabbos.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's like a fucking thing.
We were just like, maybe lean born with it, you know?
(laughing)
So I just wanted to like, finally get it taken care of
'cause like I was getting like a sore on the left side
(42:30):
where it was deviated,
'cause of the way the airflow was just always
like constantly hitting right there.
- Yeah.
- I was like, I'm pretty sure it's fucking deviated,
whatever, so.
- Kinda like a Momo scorpion daddy over there.
- I'm just talking about. - Hitting and down.
- Hitting and down.
(laughing)
- Yeah, kinda like that.
(laughing)
So I went in, got it checked out and everything,
(42:50):
and then I like, yeah, obviously it's deviated
like this is the surgery, blah, blah.
So I got on the information and then
had surgery like literally.
I had the surgery a month from the restart of my insurance
or the month after it.
So I had to pay it all out of pocket.
- Oh my God.
How much was that?
(43:11):
- It was poor timing,
'cause it was up in the fucking year.
I think total IP was like eight or 9,000.
- Oh, whatever. - And Crocs were you.
(laughing)
Listen, if he were, he would've got a discount though.
- No, he would not.
- Trying to stay positive, Damien.
(43:32):
- So what caused, like, use the ER visit?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- It's so fucking stupid.
(laughing)
- It's embarrassing.
Okay, well, never.
That makes the best of ones.
Nothing, nothing compares to Crocs.
So, but let's see.
- Really fucking dumb.
I don't even know why I did it.
So you get the packing and all that
(43:53):
and it was actually in both nostrils,
the packing and everything.
- Yeah.
- It's like a two week healing journey, whatever.
So that was going great.
I wasn't touching anything.
I wasn't messing with anything.
I'm like, "No, I'm healing, healing great."
So I go in for my appointment after like a week
and half or two week work and then they pull everything out.
Everything's good and like, yeah, looks great.
(44:15):
You'll still heal for a few days after all the packing
as you move, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, "Okay, cool."
So I go home, I'm able to like breathe out
of my fucking nose finally.
I can like, because when the packing is in there,
you literally are mouth breathing for like two fucking weeks
and it is the most miserable.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, it is miserable.
- That's reminding me of like some,
(44:36):
some hay Arnold.
What is that guy that was always behind him?
- Oh, yes.
(laughing)
- Brace guy, whatever his name was.
- Yeah, the brace dude.
- Oh my God.
- Yes.
- Oh, that's funny.
But your ears are constantly popping
because every time you swallow or, well, anything.
(laughing)
- But every time you eat or drink that pressure.
(44:57):
- Yeah.
- Yep.
So they were constantly popping.
So all that was done, I was like, you know,
thriving and vibing, getting ready to go back to work.
Bubble bath.
Well, I was a fucking dumbass and I have this little
device where you can like look in your ears
and it's got a camera on it and you get to get to get to
get these.
(laughing)
(45:18):
It's got little attachments and all the fancy shit.
- Did you get this off the table?
- For wish.
- No, no, no, no, it was, I don't know where,
it was online somewhere.
- And seeing.
- I had had this, I had this for like two years
or something even before the surgery.
So I was like, I'm gonna go and look at the filling progress.
So my dumbass, which was fine
(45:42):
because I went in barely a little bit,
just to look on the camera.
I was like, yeah, looks good.
And then I was like, oh shit.
And then there's this really dark spot in the very back,
which dumbass knee, hello, that's a dry blood clot.
Don't fucking touch it.
- Well, I noticed it.
- Oh yeah.
I noticed that it was loose and kind of wiggling.
- Oh.
- Oh, I bet that's just like a piece of dry blood.
(46:03):
I need, like I totally get that out.
So I stick this fucking camera thing,
with the little scoop attachment on it.
- Oh.
- Yeah, I go on it even fast.
- Oh.
- 'Cause they had shaved on some turbulence or wherever.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- So they shaved some of those down too in the process,
which I did not know that.
(46:23):
So that was just dry blood on the end of the turbulent.
And I was like wiggling it.
And it was like, it was super loose
up to where I thought it was just like dry blood,
blood, blood, blood, or whatever.
- Stop it.
- So no, but listen though.
So I kept fucking with it.
And then I finally got it loose enough
to where it was coming out.
And I was like, oh, sweet.
(46:44):
And it felt so relieving.
It felt like I could breathe even more even so.
And like,
- I was like, oh, cool.
- It was awesome.
- Literally, like it started bleeding so bad.
And then I was like, going down your throat
or did you have to lean forward?
- Oh, at first I had to lean forward.
I like at first it was just like a normal nose bleed.
(47:05):
And I was like, okay, this, you know, oh shit.
Like I was picking my nose with that thing.
Of course I didn't know that.
So my, it was like 10 fucking 30 years something at night.
And my husband's like,
long sleep on the couch and moving around.
And I'm like, hey, don't fall asleep.
My nose isn't stopping bleeding,
but usually I can get it stopped in like five minutes.
'Cause usually it's, I can manage it pretty quickly.
(47:26):
Well, 30 minutes goes by and it was not stopping.
So I had to wake him up.
And I'm like, we probably need to go to the yard
because it's like going down my throat now.
And like, I don't wanna swallow it.
So I kept, I was constantly just like,
kept spitting it out as it was trying to go down my throat.
But it was like constant to where like,
that's all I was doing.
I couldn't, I could barely talk
(47:47):
'cause I was just constantly trying to like get it out
to where it wasn't going in my stomach.
But of course, there was residual like, you know,
going down like, seriously.
I've never had a nose bleed like that before.
So we get to the yard.
- Were you experiencing any pain while this was happening?
- No, not at all.
- Which, yeah.
(48:08):
So we get to the yard.
They try to like, she's like, oh,
I'm gonna try a few things.
And so she tries to pack it.
She leaves it there for like 10 minutes
with some solution on the end of it
to where we'll kind of like claw up or whatever.
She comes back and as that is like,
doing its things supposed to be anyway,
I'm like sitting there waiting for her to come back in
and I'm still constantly just swallowing blood
(48:30):
and trying to spitting it out.
So then she comes back in like 10 minutes later.
She's like, all right, how's that working?
Like, let's check it.
So she checks it and it is just,
nope, didn't do a damn fucking thing.
So then she's like, well, we're gonna try this like,
other stuff and it was like this really fine fucking powder
and she like kind of like,
haven't even told back and stuff that in my nose
(48:50):
and vixed it with some other stuff.
I don't know, nothing fucking works though.
And about 30 minutes into that visit,
I had like the biggest fucking like,
like, come up.
When I tell you a softball size, not baseball,
it came up in like a fucking ball.
(49:13):
And it was this scariest fucking thing ever.
But so that passed and then still can't go to the stop.
She's like, well, we may have to admit you did it.
You know, I like it for you know, last but not least,
put Rhino rockets in both of your nostrils
if we can get this to stop, which is like a nits pressure
because they inflate to like double the size of your fucking nostrils.
(49:33):
- Oh my God.
But it didn't come to that.
It did so a teeny bit.
I went home and it bled for the whole next day
and I was still like, it was still going down my throat.
So I literally was like,
- Was it as much as it was that night?
- It wasn't as much, but it was still enough
to like be concerning of like,
how much fucking blood am I losing?
But I was able to get into my ENT doctor
(49:56):
like the next day, he had to repack everything.
And then it was still kind of bleeding,
but it was definitely getting better.
But anyway, all that to say it was a worse thing
than I thought I was going to die a couple of times.
And I'm like, I think I'm just going to die.
And like, and Jordan, my husband, he was like trying to just
console me and be like, trying to keep us cool.
But then after everything was said and done and like better,
(50:18):
he was like, honestly, he's like,
I was getting really worried for a while,
but I just didn't want to like,
I didn't want you to see that.
So I didn't say anything.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I see.
He was like, so I'm what's going to ask
where the life insurance policy was,
but I didn't want to, you know.
(laughing)
- If you get a septal class,
you don't fucking mess with it after rights.
- So how did you feel telling them what started it?
(50:38):
- I honestly never did.
- Don't, I don't want if you ever give me shit
about my crocs again.
You hear me?
At least I was honest.
- What, no, I didn't do nothing like that.
(laughing)
I turned you into my ballet shoes.
- Nessie, here's my thing.
I used to get nosebleeds constantly.
The worst one was I was sitting there.
(50:59):
It was like two in the morning.
I was living at home.
I couldn't fucking bring myself to go back to bed
because of all the blood clots
coming out and none of them were softball size.
(laughing)
But like, I hacked one up and I felt like
a fucking anime character like,
(groaning)
that all you got.
(laughing)
But I was so fucking tired and I was like,
I kind of woozy.
(51:20):
So I laid down in the bathroom.
My brother came to like get ready for school in the morning.
He started screaming.
I said, it's fine.
He's like, it looks like a murder scene in here.
I was like, I'll clean it up later.
I just like, I got tired and fell asleep in the floor.
- Oh my God, yeah.
This wasn't the bleach crossover we wanted.
(laughing)
- No.
- God, that's horrible.
Well, at least you're better now.
(51:41):
Right, how long did it take you to
for it to all heal after that?
Without you picking at it.
- That's the weaker so.
I don't know, it's so good to try in there
but I don't want to like, that's what it of course but.
- So yeah, no more camera scapples up there.
(laughing)
- Oh my gosh, stupidest fucking thing I've ever done.
But no, I never told them what I did.
I just said they, I just said the clock came out
(52:02):
or whatever and they were like, okay, you know what happens.
And I'm like, well, I didn't see any camera.
- Wow.
See, I had a bilateral terminate reduction as well.
Well, not that you had that but they did shave down.
Obviously, both of mine.
I tell you though, after the healing,
the breathing is so much better.
It's quite amazing what that does.
(52:25):
So yeah, and it's never gonna be 100%
but I mean, some people have better outcomes
than others just 'cause they can only do so much
in there they can't do, you know.
- Why don't some people who have had a deviated septal
and they've had to have a CPAP machine
because it was so bad?
Were you ever to that point?
- Yeah, no.
- Yeah, see that's good.
At least you didn't have to worry about that.
(52:47):
So.
- No, at least I didn't die.
- Well, at least you didn't die
and at least you didn't have to your crocs to blame on it.
Or someone like Momo to bring you down
when you're already down.
- You know.
- Off the ladder.
- Once you go all the way down,
the only place left to go was up.
- Well, there you go, Tony Robbins.
What a beautiful ending to this today's episode.
(53:07):
Well, hey, I appreciate you, Scotty, for being on.
Momo, hopefully you're back.
I don't know if you want to be
but that would definitely be appreciated.
And Scotty, you too, I would love for you to come back.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I think so too.
We talk about more blood stories.
- Oh my, by the way, was your clot, was it very jelly?
Was it like a giant jelly ball?
(53:28):
- Oh, like, yes.
- Yes.
- Like right when that happened though,
I was like, I don't know,
everything just ran through my head like,
is this the end plug?
I don't know, like, there's,
this is the end.
- This is the scariest fucking thing.
- Scotty, your brain.
- Oh, that's amazing.
I threw it up.
I threw it up until like,
(53:48):
bottle cup thing that I had brought.
It was like a water bottle with like, you know, fancy lid.
Like,
- You were like, well, well, well, well,
you're in the hospital and you threw it up
and something you brought?
- Yeah.
- Did you take it home?
- Yeah.
- Is it still in a jar?
- I threw the whole fucking thing.
Like, I don't need that bottle.
I don't need this,
but it's okay.
(54:09):
- What, what was it, a Stanley?
- No, it was before that trend.
- Oh, okay, all right.
Gotcha.
So it was a,
what was that visco girl thing?
What did they have?
Those, over those balls.
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.
- Damn it.
- Hydroflask.
- Hydroflask.
Yeah, it was an hydroflask.
(54:29):
- Oh god.
- I would have just grabbed a damn red solo cup
and called it a day.
- Okay, unlike your kitchen,
not all ERs have those line around everywhere
with bottles of vodka.
- He said he brought it from home
and I drink tequila, mister.
- Oh, my man.
My man.
My apologies.
All right, well, that'll do it for us.
He needs the chat,
(54:49):
by the way, go over to harsh.media or harshmediaink.com
and you can check all this out there.
And maybe, maybe we'll put a picture of Captain Hooker
up on there too, people.
(cow mooing)
Yeah, you're a stinger.
You make me,
all right, we'll check it out later.
Bye.
(55:10):
- Bye.
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(56:33):
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[Music]
Hey, everybody, it is the chat podcast.
(00:16):
Thea is out, but it is me, Charlie.
I've also got a special co-host here today, and hopefully from here on out, I think he's
one of the sweetest most gentle homos I've ever met in my life again.
Lil Momo, I'm lying.
I'm doing buddy.
What's the fairy face?
I'm Lil Momo.
And you see there you go.
That's it.
(00:36):
You're, you were such a little twinkle toes.
It's so sweet.
I love it.
You make it just when you talk.
It just sprinkle pixie dust everywhere.
It's great.
Anyway, let's do some toxic.
Well, that's, yeah, I can say that.
So yeah, he's here.
We're going to talk about that.
And then also Scott now was going to say this.
(00:56):
So it's going to be cliche and I told him this earlier, but since he said it, I feel okay
saying it's got to too hot.
Everybody's giving him a round of applause.
Y'all did not.
Yeah.
Hey, it works.
It works.
He's a good looking dude.
I wouldn't know.
You thought, bro, it's time to Google.
Need to go check him out.
(01:16):
I just, I hope, am not in Google.
Yeah, no, no.
Yeah, well, I mean, have you ever Googled yourself?
Yes.
Did you?
Yeah, that's true.
That's, yeah, I tried to stay away from Google.
Google's dangerous.
But yeah, you know, so there you go.
Well, I love it.
So how you been doing little mo?
Mo?
Yeah, yeah, with the two.
(01:38):
Yeah, I mean, I'm good.
I'm good.
We're doing a lot of stuff on the sides over here.
We're changing jobs.
We're looking for a new one because we got some drama there.
And we're streaming over on Twitch.
Joining this little podcast here with a co-host.
Hey, two.
Yeah, or two or three.
You know, I don't know how many there is.
Well, so Theo was supposed to be here, but she's out doing like job-bley things, you know,
(02:04):
okay, responsible stuff.
Exactly.
And then, and then you're over there trying your hardest to do the same thing it sounds
like, but how's it working?
I made five dollars on my last stream.
What do you mean?
Oh, okay, look at you.
Five holds all hairs on that stream.
That's amazing.
That's not only fans, but it'll do.
(02:26):
Yeah.
Oh, we're going to get into that.
We're going to get into that.
So, job-bley things, job-bley things.
So hold on.
That, you know what?
Scottie's already making a name for himself on this show because he just perfectly sailed
us right into that next topic.
And it just is so beautiful.
I'm, tell me about your only fans.
(02:46):
It could, is there one?
I've heard rumblings, mumblings, little birds.
Yes, Scottie.
Let's hear about it.
No, little momma.
Let's hear about it.
I mean, yeah, wait.
I don't say, I don't have one.
Oh, damn.
Oh, okay.
Shit, I guess I'll minimize the screen.
That's about to go sign up.
So, so, so, what's up?
What are you doing this now?
(03:07):
I am in the process of starting one.
I've been collabing with my boyfriend for a while.
And the collapse do pretty damn well.
I don't have anything on my page, but I have like 20 follows for no reason.
Well, not hold on, but is it yours or is it his?
We've been doing collabs on his, but I was like, you know what, if we're already doing collabs
(03:29):
on yours, I might as well go ahead and start my own.
So now you have your own separate only fans?
Yep.
I'm thinking of mine.
Uh, I mean, I think he got up to the top five and a half person or something.
What?
Yeah, he does very well.
(03:49):
I've very proud of him.
And a half percent, the top 5.5 percent.
That was it.
Yes.
Okay.
And where is my free membership?
Cause you know, actually, he has a free subscription model.
Uh, uh, no, listen, that's supposed to get you hooked in and that doesn't do anything for
(04:11):
me.
If I don't see it on Twitter, I don't go to it because if you're not going to see some
stuff on Twitter, well, bitch, send me the link.
That's like a preview to get you hooked over into the only thing.
I'm okay with that because people tend to post more on Twitter than they do on their free
only fans.
(04:31):
That's fair.
Okay.
So what's the send me right now?
So I want to look at this.
I want to give you my honest real reaction.
I will show you next time.
No, bitch.
We play that game.
Sydney, Sydney, the name, the screen name or whatever.
I can't do that.
Oh, you fucking cunt.
(04:53):
Listen, there are certain things that I would allow you to have a pass on.
This is not one of them.
I need to give you my honest reaction.
I can send you his.
Are you on it?
I am on there for the collapse.
Oh, okay.
So the next is the same thing.
What's the difference between yours and his?
(05:14):
Uh, he actually posts.
Okay.
So you weren't going to send me a link to something that has nothing on it, but you'll
send.
Okay.
Well, whatever.
So what did I just said?
I was in the process of starting mine.
Okay.
Well, send me in the text, his Twitter.
I'm leaning.
Oh, the bitch.
Come on.
Chop, chop.
Bitch, I'm trying.
(05:34):
Because I want it because here's the thing.
Hold on.
Now, let me ask Scotty.
Before you were married and only fans was a thing, would you have done it?
Uh, I thought about that before.
I don't know.
Like, money wise, depending on if I needed it, I guess.
(05:56):
I don't know.
Well, like you could still technically do it now.
I mean, where you and you and your.
You were mysterious.
So I'm like, you know, wow, and out there, I was like, well, something different and more
money.
So, okay.
Okay.
Look, now we're getting somewhere.
I have like six numbers for you.
For me?
Yes.
Because I live a life of people.
(06:18):
Send it to every single fucking one.
No, don't.
That could be.
That's promotion.
You want some new followers?
No.
Well, I don't know if you'd want some of them, but that would, did you send it to me on snap?
I, because I can't find your number on here.
Oh my God.
Go to the last text message.
Yeah, that's so much work.
(06:40):
All right, all right.
All right.
So I'm pulling it up right now.
You ain't got to.
That's a, but I am.
Hold on.
Can I read some of what he puts in his?
No, no, no.
Why, why not?
Because I am a sweet and innocent boy.
God the lies.
(07:00):
Well, he called my little mama.
Yeah, exactly.
So he called hold on.
So your boyfriend calls himself the scorpion God on Twitter.
Yes.
God.
God, I have to hit me with the stinger.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh, wait.
Everyone is like, is that him with the white hair?
(07:24):
Yeah, he, do you know who Scott Steiner is or was?
Yeah.
That, that type of thing.
Okay, wait, new video on only that's signer.
What do you wrestler?
Yeah, yeah.
Big old wrestler.
Yeah, I, yeah.
Wow.
(07:45):
Okay.
So there's one of you two.
That's not, that's not, that's not, that's nothing there.
There's nothing.
There's nothing.
Oh, there's his member.
But there's a, there's nothing here.
Why don't you do this to me?
Because you want to leave it alone.
God, oh, there's that one.
(08:06):
Oh, that's cute.
It's kind of brief you.
Yeah.
Well, I need to listen.
If I don't get to see any of the goods, then I'm just, I'm not going to pay for it.
You know what I mean?
It's like Costco checking your card when you come in like, what if you don't have a card
and you just want to see what's there before you get a card and you can't?
Or see, that's when you find a nice lady to be like, hey, can I use your card?
(08:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying like for someone new, like they just want to check it out.
Why are you checking for cards if someone locks them without?
Do they even do that anymore?
Yeah, they stopped.
Yeah.
No, at least in my experience, they, they at least expect you to flash it, but you could
literally flash them, you know, anything.
(08:49):
Your blood type card.
They would be okay with it, I think.
Okay.
So I have a question.
So I'm looking.
I may answer.
I'm looking at this and I'm seeing that his, his, his, his dick.
It has a gin.
I don't want to.
Well, it has a curve here.
(09:10):
Does that, that's the, that's the senior enough.
That's the, yeah, is that the, yeah, that's the stinger.
I like that.
So it does it, does that hurt?
No.
Bitch, it's me.
Yeah, that's true.
That's like hot dog down the hallway.
How do you?
- You've seen the shape of the toys today, like come on.
(09:30):
- Well I didn't ask if he had one of those,
what do those... - Sir, I am innocent,
I would never hold on.
I would say this to Scotty,
but I don't know,
he probably wouldn't want to see it.
But it, this looks like he would hurt.
- It's fine.
(laughing)
- God Jesus, no, it said there's a little...
- I think the part that hurts more
(09:51):
is that he's almost 300 pounds.
- Well, he's a, yeah, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, biggin'.
- He, he a biggin'.
- But that's how I like him.
- Yeah, that is how you like him.
- Same, same, same.
- Same, same, same, same.
- Yes.
- Where's that shame, uh, sound effect
from, uh, what is that, the color purple?
- Yeah, fuck it.
- I can't remember the movie that it's from, anyway.
(10:14):
Tell him to, if he's gonna post pictures of his dick,
to at least post pictures that are different,
because he's got the same one on here.
I feel like I'm doing a flip through.
- That's fair.
- I don't know.
It, it looks painful to me, honestly.
That's why I had to ask.
Like, it just, it looks like just that angle,
(10:36):
because it's not up and not down.
It's just, it's, it's, to the left.
Like a sharp left.
Clearly someone is very inexperienced.
- With that, yes.
- Do you ever get mistaken for a chaser?
- Or not a chaser, but a twink instead of a chaser?
- What's the difference?
(10:56):
- Okay, really?
A twink is a skinny fit, like, Gadood, that's, you know,
all, you know, they're not even fit.
- Yeah, but just skinny.
- Well, yeah, but they're like super, super mega skinny,
not fit at all, like no muscles, you know, whatever.
But they're into those same type of dudes.
That's a twink.
A chaser is obviously, you got to have that,
it's like, four muscular, that is into other bigger dudes.
(11:19):
- Oh, okay.
- See, that's your own one.
But I see every chaser as a twink, like in my head,
like maybe that's just because of what I've seen.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, no, no.
- No.
- Sounds like I've got to press the button.
- Yeah, you get to see other, we'll tell you that's wrong.
(laughing)
(11:40):
- I gotta say, a lot of twinks are total fucking bitches
about the bit, sorry, you're too bagged.
It's like, okay, but I can throw you through a wall
and I'm like, whoo, what?
- Someone said the other day, yeah, he started to get a bone
around it and he was like, whoo, what am I doing?
- Well, somebody said the other day,
I forget where I saw it, but they were like,
(12:01):
where are all the chasers these days?
Like, is it harder?
Did you see them?
Do you see any of your fellow chasers out there?
Or do you find it slowly dwindling?
- I'm in fucking North Dakota, so of course,
I don't see many of them at all, but it's like,
we went to an event, I'm not even gonna name the event
because, yeah.
(12:22):
- Stole.
- If I'm just drama, but anyway,
it was in Florida last fall.
- Where was this event?
- Florida's in, Florida last fall.
- Okay.
- But yeah, I don't think of any credit to the organizers
'cause it was a complete shit show.
But anyway, it was like our first event
and like, I met a fellow chaser there
that became really different with,
we actually met like seven guys
(12:42):
that we like are super different with now
like we try and we're together and stuff.
But after that one experience,
I probably wouldn't go back to that one again, but.
- Yeah, that's a pretty little magical.
- Yeah, that's a pretty little magical.
- That was a first one I'd seen another chaser there
and like, shit, I don't know how many years.
- Well now I bet at Holden, it wasn't a,
it wasn't the bigger city one, wasn't?
(13:05):
- No.
- Okay.
- No.
- That's bigger Vegas.
- Oh, do they always do it in Vegas?
I thought they moved it around.
- I think they have like smaller events,
but they're one big one is always bigger Vegas.
- Yeah, they're bigger Vegas.
- Yeah.
- Well, okay, so then I at least want to make sure
that people know that these are apps,
like bigger city is like a, it's an app similar to Grindr,
(13:28):
except less pretentious.
(laughing)
I think it's probably the best way to do it.
- I mean the Grindr's, Grindr's the one you always start with,
you have to.
Grindr's like a baby passage. - It's like a baby passage.
- Yeah.
Grindr's the baby steps and.
- Oh.
- And then getting up there.
- Speaking of Grindr, I just have to say real quick,
I have a roommate who is very questionable.
(13:52):
- Oh.
- My old co-host for the Twitch.
(clears throat)
Why did I see his best friend on Grindr?
I said, hmm, I come home.
I say, oh, yep, there he is.
- Wait a second.
So he was, you saw him on Grindr and then you came home
and then you saw him in the house.
- Uh huh, like they were sitting on the couch,
(14:14):
like touching in there, of course,
both very, very straight boys.
It's like, (buzzer)
okay. - Wait a second.
So it's not like the one that you saw on Grindr
was openly out with his face on there?
- So he did, he has really long black hair.
- Yeah.
- So he did like the whole thing where it's like blocking his eyes,
but it's like, I know that face shape.
I know that skin tone.
(14:34):
I know that beauty mark over there.
(laughing)
And it's like, you went into like investigator mode, bro.
- I, because I opened it up as I was driving
and I was like, I mean, as my friend was driving,
I would never plan my phone while I'm driving.
But I get on there and I say,
that guy looks so much like, we're gonna call him Charles.
Like that looks like Charles.
And I look, I say, oh my God,
he's right next to Brandon, Jeffrey, and oh,
(14:56):
is he at my house?
So I go in, I say, (buzzer)
hi. - Oh no.
- So I run in, I grab like some random thing
off the counter.
Like I told my boyfriend, I was like,
hey, can you please make sure that this random item
is on the kitchen counter.
So I go in, I say, hi boys, I love your new picture,
by the way, and I like, I tap on my phone.
And I'm like, okay, bye.
(15:18):
- Wow. - Oh my God.
- Did he ever, like, did you get a response
from that or a reaction?
- His mouth just dropped.
And apparently when I left, he like got on his phone
and then all of a sudden he was like,
oh, I gotta, I gotta go somewhere.
And I was like, it's funny that he had to go so quickly.
So wait a second, it's not obviously a shocker.
(15:39):
You don't keep it hidden that you're a homosexual.
- No. - So.
- And my boyfriend lives here and he's a homosexual.
- A homosexual.
- But wouldn't he know that if he's on that,
he's playing with fire?
- Well, so we were together, so we weren't on Grindr,
but we took a like a week break.
(15:59):
And so we were both on there.
And I was just like, oh my God, have you seen him on here?
And he's like, yeah, I just sent him a message, Teehee.
- Oh my God.
- It's just like, oh my God.
- So did you ever mention it?
- Drama.
- Yeah, right.
Total drive.
Did you ever mention it to your...
- The other roommate?
- Yeah, yeah.
(16:19):
- I did say to him, I was like, I was like,
you said he has a girlfriend, right?
He's like, yeah, he just got a girlfriend like two weeks ago.
I said, oh, because three days ago I found him on Grindr.
- Wow.
And I showed him the picture, I was like,
see, I screenshot it for you, here you go.
- And what did he say?
- He was like, I don't know if I can hang out with him.
(16:40):
And I'm like, just because you're scared that you're gay,
it's like, it's fine.
It's really not a big deal.
You've been living with two homos for a year.
- See, that's what I was gonna say is,
like, do you think that the girlfriend is actually him?
I don't, I don't know.
Like, I don't know, that sounds kind of stupid.
There's something up there.
I mean, I said there were some up there for months.
(17:02):
(laughing)
- Yeah, I've done that.
- 'Cause like, let's have a name for my roommate.
We're gonna call him, tell me.
- Call him Mee-ho.
- Oh, okay.
- Mee-ho.
Okay, so Mee-ho, I have thought for like a year.
I was like, I'm pretty sure he got some sugar in his tank.
But I'm like, I'm-- - If he got to win the name.
- Yeah, I see.
(17:22):
- I said, you know what, I'm a leave it alone.
I'm a leave it alone.
But he does things and I'm like, Mee-ho, like, come on.
Like, you wonder why people ask you these questions?
Like, I came downstairs, he's sitting on his knees on the couch.
Leand, all the way over his little friend.
What did I call him before, Charles?
- Yeah, too close to my name, but yeah.
- Leand all the way over.
(17:43):
And Charles is like, legs totally spread.
I said, that is not how two straight people sit on the couch.
Y'all are on top of each other.
- You know, in their defense, one of my best friends is straight.
And he would always come over and want to cuddle.
- Oh yeah, so he's curious.
- I did give him a blowjob at the end of the night.
(18:03):
But the point is, is that very obvious.
- There is the option.
Like, he's not locked into it, right?
I mean-- - Look, all I can say is,
if I could physically show you how they were sitting,
there ain't no way.
- I wish you could.
- I honestly wish I could too.
- Hey, you know what?
- You should--
- And you and Mr. Beefe should go reenact to that in semi-ticture,
(18:26):
'cause I am kind of curious how it was.
Because the thing is, is like with him,
and I always thought this was weird,
because anytime I would flirt with him
when y'all were doing the Twitch stream or whatever,
he would always get overly defensive.
And I've always felt that if you do get overly defensive,
you're hiding something, or at least you, you know,
has some curiosity. - And see my thing is,
(18:46):
is Adam told him from Jeff,
I was like, I don't fucking care.
If you're gay, straight, trans, bi, asexual,
demisexual, pansexual, whatever, I was like,
I don't fucking care, I was like, just be yourself, be happy.
That's all.
So why you feel they need to sneak around
and do this then the other--
- I will never understand.
(laughing)
(19:06):
- Don't hide it.
- Now is this the same guy that's kind of causing you
some workplace drama?
- No, no, he works at a different store.
- Now the work drama is purely from my boss into things
that he has lied to his employees about.
- Okay, now let's recap that a little bit
because I was telling Scottie this,
(19:27):
is that you, at least, I don't know how it's changed now
that you're back there part time are doing that,
but is it still your boss, still your ex?
- Okay, technically yes, my ex from like six years ago,
you yes. - All right, all right.
But there's still that weird dynamic though, yeah.
- Not really because when he gets on my nerves,
I literally shut him down in front of anyone and everyone
(19:48):
and I'm like, now get out of my way,
I have things to do.
- Ooh.
- See, that's why I wish you would just record.
Like just stop before you assault him and just hit record
and then go at it.
- Look, the worst I ever did is I tried to walk away
from a situation that he was escalating.
He followed me and I said, bitch, I said,
(20:09):
I'm done with this situation.
He follows me some more and then he said something,
I cut him down low, slapped him across the face metaphorically.
I don't get physical.
(laughing)
- And he started getting all teary eyed
and he walked away in which I'll be honest.
I'm white, black, Latino and gay.
I'm a bitch.
(20:30):
So like he got teary eyed and started walking away.
I chased him, I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I was like, you want to follow me
and start this down the other thing.
So let's fucking finish it.
Like don't walk away from me, bitch.
He tried shutting the door, I kicked the door open.
I said, we ain't done.
(laughing)
So I kept going until I kept going.
Did you go in so feminine like where you just-
(20:50):
- I probably did, I probably fucking did.
My hand was going and everything.
- Oh yeah.
- But I got him until he sat down in his chair
in the office at work.
And I kept going, kept going, I said,
now do you have anything you want to fucking say?
(laughing)
- That's like a lot.
- That's like a lot to me no matter grabbing the footflop.
- Yeah, he got to see was.
- I know, he took off the chocolate and he's walking in.
(21:12):
He's like, no, me, you come here.
- Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, that was my thing.
(laughing)
Like I had this latino girl at work, Maria.
- Oh, it's always a Maria.
- I don't fuck, but that's her name, but.
(laughing)
- I ended up leaving.
- I believe in.
- I'm a profiler, I apologize Maria.
- I'm dare you, I know.
(21:34):
- But like I end up leaving and I was like,
she was like, oh my god, like are you okay?
And I was like, oh I'm fine.
He might need a few minutes though.
So we're gonna leave him alone in the office.
She's like, oh I just, I never heard you get so mad.
And I was like, girl, it's all good, I promise.
- I need a little work.
- Let's get back to work.
(laughing)
- Man, Mijo, if you're so good,
I have to bring you some more like,
(21:55):
the Tomales or something, would you?
You need a dessert, does he be cool?
- Yeah, that's funny though.
Well, I mean, did you at least get the porn across?
- Oh, absolutely.
And then when he finally came out,
I said, now you can go apologize to all the fucking employees.
And I walked him to each employee.
And I said, no, you can apologize to her.
You can apologize to him because you escalated situation
(22:16):
that had no business being where it did.
- Did you at least hold him by the collar?
- I didn't need to, he knew better.
- Okay, well.
- I mean, if he's fine, he's fine, you're like a little lost puppy.
- Yeah, like a lost puppy.
- Right, you got it.
- I've known him for like seven years.
He knows how it goes now.
- I don't know.
I was really hoping that I was gonna have something
just to visualize if you like, maybe pulling him
(22:36):
by the apron or something, you know?
Now, the most that happened physically between us
is he tried to throw his apron
'cause I work at a food job.
He threw his apron at me and I caught it
and I threw it back in his face.
(laughing)
And then I literally walked up and like,
chest checked him.
I know I was like, you can go back here.
- Well, but you didn't do a chest check?
- Yes, I did.
(22:58):
'Cause I said, I'm not gonna put my fucking hands on you.
What?
What?
(laughing)
- This is like a game of gay badminton.
- Sounds like what I would see if I was sitting
at Waffle House.
(laughing)
- This is a, this is, yeah, definitely a,
- This is a Waffle House story.
- Yeah.
- Like, can I just see my Waffle please?
(23:19):
(laughing)
- Look, that's the thing.
- I was so glad we didn't have any customers.
- When you go to Waffle House,
it's dinner with the Waffle House.
- Dinner in a show all the time.
And now when you go to the sandwich shop over
and you know, the weirdest part of Tennessee,
you get the same thing, it sounds like.
(laughing)
- God, man.
- At least when he said they didn't have any customers,
(23:39):
I'm like, oh, that was a Waffle House.
(laughing)
- That was a good one.
- Even at three in the morning.
- Good all awful Waffle.
There you go, you got all of that.
- I came up to my mom's Waffle House.
- What?
- Oh no, talk about a show.
What happened?
- How the hell was it?
- I was in middle school.
- Oh, okay.
So you've been knowing, okay.
(24:01):
- See, so Scotty has a very interesting family dynamic
that I don't know if he wants to get into,
but I've always found it really interesting.
And I don't, I think it's just how accepting it is
because with your dad and his situae,
I'll let you mention that if you want,
but that side of it and then your mom's side,
(24:21):
but they're still close, aren't they?
They're still friends?
- Yeah, I mean, they're fine.
I'd say they get along better now than
when they were very years ago.
- Okay.
So, well, and that's good.
But your dad, can we say he's gay?
- He's, yeah, I don't know.
- Or by or even.
- Or by or even.
(24:41):
- Even so.
- Even till this day, I'm still like, what the fuck?
But, okay, so when they were younger
in high school or wherever,
my dad had been with like men and women.
And then all of a sudden, like they randomly like,
got together and my mom was in foster care at that time.
(25:04):
So then she was living with my dad.
She was out of like, she had gotten out of the foster home
or something like that.
And then they had called her one day.
This is what I remember from when I was younger.
And basically told her like, you're gonna be going back
into the foster care system soon,
unless you're pregnant or married.
So then my dad was like, what were you getting married?
(25:25):
And we're gonna have a baby.
So they were, I mean, they were in love, like, you know,
whatever, but he didn't want her to go back into the care.
So they got married, like courthouse marriage, you know,
whatever.
- A green card baby.
(laughing)
- Well, then they had my brother and he was born,
my mom was like teen.
And then I was your aftertome.
(25:47):
But anyway, but when they got divorced,
it was mainly because there was some like,
I don't know, there was obviously tension.
Like he was not being faithful.
And then so she set fuck it on my kidney fifth believe there.
But he was like seeing men.
And that had happened a few times during their marriage,
while they had us boys when we were little.
(26:09):
So yeah, there's always been this history of like fluidity
and like, you know, he's, he's something.
I don't know.
(laughing)
He's not, he's not with anyone right now.
But now he, oh, like he was with a guy for a while, wouldn't he?
- Oh yeah, when they first got divorced,
I think they were together for like five years.
And then what was crazy though is like every year,
(26:31):
it seemed like at the end of every year,
like last day of school, my dad would like,
and this was like, and I think it started on like late
elementary school.
He would just try to connect with me and be like,
hey, are you feeling anything different about like boys
or girls or do you want to talk to anything?
Like he was just like being really supportive,
like case I was feeling that way,
because he knew he had already been through all that
(26:51):
and still was going through it.
But I was just happy to go like he kid,
like, oh no, dad, I'm cool.
I love girls.
I'm gonna have a white picket fence and a golden retriever
and like, Bob will be like,
- Wait, your parents talked to you about that stuff?
- Yeah.
Which I mean, you know, it's amazing to look back on that
and realize that now, but at the time I was just like,
I used my dad like asking you this stuff,
(27:12):
like I don't like it, I don't like guys.
But at that same time, of course, you know,
you know when you're, you know, you know, when you know.
- Yeah, and I had no idea.
- Oh really?
(laughing)
- I did not know until I gave it the college try.
- Oh, okay, well, I mean, it was different.
Usually, usually as like a young kid though,
(27:32):
you just like know something's off or different.
'Cause like I had girlfriends here and there,
but we always broke up on my shopping,
so that should have told me something.
(laughing)
Yeah, I think it was like the last day of,
I think it was the last day of the three if he had asked me that
and I was like,
yeah, I think I don't know, I kinda like guys,
(27:55):
but I haven't done anything and I don't know how I'm feeling
and then he kinda like, it's kinda like he was relieved
'cause he already had seen that I guess or, you know,
knew, so then he kinda opened up to me and was like,
well, you know, if that is how you feel
or if you wanna talk about it or whatever, so.
But then years after that, I came out to my mom in Waffa House.
(28:18):
(laughing)
- Wow.
- See, at least you had that, right?
I mean, and then my youngest brother is gay, so.
I mean, there's-- - Oh yeah, there's, yeah.
And now we can't say props to him in the sense
that we have another chaser on board.
It sounds like he is a twin, too, also likes the twinks.
(28:38):
- Oh, a little twin.
(laughing)
- Yeah, so how did, when did he come out?
- When he came out of my mom's vagina.
(laughing)
I don't, when I met him, I don't remember him being
very flamboyant, and in fact, he was pissed at me
'cause I wouldn't play a video game with him.
- I was gonna say, are you treating that up?
Because he had to fucking like, oh my God,
(29:00):
he had just to be where Oliver's walls in the bedroom.
He had like, he, every sign possible is there.
I was a holy shit.
(laughing)
Yeah, he's, as free flight is fine.
- Now, hope to see now. - That's me.
- I love 21.
- Oh God.
- Oh, he's a baby.
- Yeah.
- A twink baby, and he's at the 21 year old age.
(29:22):
- He's not gonna go like,
- He's super-twinked.
- Yeah.
- He's in his prime right now.
- He's apparently, he's apparently got a mechanic.
- Boyfriend, so that's where he's going to be.
- Oh, that, I don't know.
- That is a cliche.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Does the mechanic know that he's gay?
- Oh yeah, I think he's like his gay.
- Well, I know, but like, does the mechanic know
that himself is?
(29:42):
- Oh.
- But he's like a manly gay?
- Yeah, like he, see out there working on Toyotas
or Fords.
(laughing)
Like that's the big question.
- If he's working on Prius then, yeah.
- I'm gay.
- Who, who is it that does that, Joe?
- Joe, do you know?
- Yeah, Jeff Thump.
- Yeah, Jeff Thump.
- I just saw him like,
- A couple weeks ago.
(30:02):
- See, still a thing.
- I mean, he did really good.
Like, I really enjoyed a show.
I was like, I've never seen him like years and years later,
but it was good.
- At least it's not that, that one comedian
who, Dane Cook,
I'd, - Oh yeah, no.
- He's watched.
- Yeah, definitely.
(laughing)
Yeah, we'll skip that.
Yeah, he's a guy, he's washed up.
(30:23):
He's, he's washed up.
- He's a, he's a, he's a used come rag.
- Ooh.
(laughing)
- God, not the sock.
That's disgusting.
Somebody asked me the other day,
why would you use a sock?
And I had to, it was kind of odd to explain how a sock
is a perfect fit.
- And I mean, is that an ankle sock?
(30:44):
(laughing)
Is it a toddler sock, you know, well, it isn't.
What kind of sock is it?
- It just depends on the, not the length.
God, I, listen, I really wish I had socks the other day.
I was in the ER and the floor is so slippery in the ER.
And they, they make you take off your shoes and everything.
(31:08):
And the socks that I had on,
I did the ultimate gay no-no,
which is I had on socks and crocs.
But I did, listen, I did that.
- Are you sure you're gay?
(laughing)
- I know, I did that.
- Give me your gay card now.
- I was, what?
- Listen, no, I needed to, I knew what was gonna happen,
so I wanted to go prepared.
And so that's, I also wore my,
(31:29):
- And you can slip something else on?
Like what?
- Crocs and socks.
- Like ballet shoes?
- Yes.
- No.
I had on my crocs and socks and then I had on joggers.
(laughing)
- Oh my God.
- I know, I was definitely like dressing like a college dude.
- You need to talk to the council.
- You need to talk to the council.
- Yeah, yeah, the council, really.
(31:50):
It was embarrassing.
- I think you went to the ER just because
you were wearing an atrocity.
- Oh, look, that was too shay, too shay.
I can't be mad about that.
Yeah, I guess they should have admitted me for that honestly,
but listen.
- They were like, that's why it was 18,000 dollars.
- Like are you like,
looking for a mental health institute?
- This is the wrong place.
(32:11):
- Yeah, I know, but if we don't have one of those
in this small town, so yeah,
you have to kind of go to the ER, but no,
I went because I was stupid and I fell off the ladder
and I fell off the ladder on the day that it was the
the solar eclipse.
And have you tried not falling off the ladder?
Have you tried to shut the fat gap?
(32:32):
- Listen, I was working really hard on focusing.
- Can you still do a Sui's voice from Family Guy?
Oh my God, I haven't done that in a minute.
- I used to go out.
- It was the hell.
- It was the hell that bad.
- Oh, yeah, almost.
Kind of, it's a little f--
It's fading.
- It's fading around.
(32:53):
- It's fading in my old age.
But I was looking because you know with the solar eclipse,
you look in the shadows, they're more of a crescent.
They're not a regular shadow like you would see normally.
And I remember looking and I just kind of got lost
in the ambiance.
And I just fell backwards and I hit a tree that was behind me
(33:13):
and I folded up like a lawn chair.
(laughing)
And this would straight down to the ground.
And it was, you know, that's the one thing about falling
is it is in slow motion.
Everything.
- Usually, yeah.
- Yeah, usually it's always in slow motion.
And that's kind of how I imagine like everybody talks about
(33:37):
like when you die, your lifelike should before you're,
like that's kind of how I would imagine that
going very slow motion.
Not that I felt like I was dying,
but I didn't realize that because I have neuropathy,
which means I cannot feel anything in my feet.
And I didn't realize that I was standing
in a puddle of my own blood.
(33:58):
And--
- Oh, no.
- And it was pointed out to me from Thia
who was right there with me because she goes,
oh my God, are you okay?
I'm like, I think I'm okay.
And then I start moving.
I feel like 18 cracks in my back and everything.
And so I'm getting up, I'm walking around for a little bit
and she goes, your foot is in a puddle of blood.
(34:21):
And I'm like, no, it's not.
I'm in my crocs.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
It was no bueno.
- Well, at least she threw the crocs away.
- No, I just put them in the shower and cleaned them.
- Oh, that's the best thing about crocs.
- Why would I throw them away?
- Crocs are beautiful.
Why doctors wear them?
Come on now.
- No, no, sweetie.
(34:41):
They wear those out of necessity.
- I needed them.
It was my necessity.
And they're really not.
- If you fell, it came.
- Well, they did come back to Haunt me, that's for sure.
So what I found out had happened was when I was trying
to catch myself, my monkey instincts kicked in, I suppose.
And I guess my toes attempted to grab the edge of the ladder
(35:04):
and it pushed the skin if you take your pinky
and you just keep pushing, keep pushing,
keep until you can't push it no more.
Just keep pushing some more.
And that ripped right there at the seam.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah.
And so when I went in, I didn't know,
because again, the whole I can't feel things,
(35:26):
I didn't know what actually did tear, what broke,
whatever.
I didn't know if I might need stitches
because the bleeding didn't stop.
Like I remember waking up the next morning
and my sheets in my bed were kind of bloody.
- It was not good.
Thankfully I have my huge white sheets
and one of those mattress protectors.
(35:47):
So I just popped all that with some bleach.
But I went down to the ER and they were like,
yeah, looks like you're gonna need some stitches
and some toglue.
So they,
- Some toes.
- Yeah, some $18,000 toglue.
It was, it was some expensive gorilla glue.
That is no lie.
So they took that down there and they put it up
and then he got a little black light out and cured it.
(36:10):
And I'm like, God, I feel like a deck or something.
Like what do you do?
It's like some wood glue.
What's happening here?
- I'm gonna say that whole Jeep.
- Yeah, I know, right?
This is, I feel like loads is chopping me up right now.
And so he did that and then they took me for scans, X-rays, MRI, CT.
It was just everything.
(36:31):
It was $18,774 worth of shit.
That they ended up coming back and said, yeah,
so it looks like you ripped your toe.
Your lower back is,
well, it's crunched.
I already have degenerative disc disease.
So basically all it did was make that hole
(36:53):
where the nerves exit out through my lower spine.
A lot smaller.
So now the pain that I have shooting down my right leg
is shooting all the way down my right leg.
And it's, anyway, I gotta go to a spine doctor
and get injections now.
So, you know, I figured if I didn't go to the ER,
I wouldn't have content.
So that's the only reason.
- The only reason everybody that happened
(37:14):
is 'cause you were in Crocs.
- Guarantee you $6,000 of that hospital bill
was from the Crocs.
- Ah, you know what?
- Insurance ain't gonna cover this.
He was wearing Crocs.
- I would, I would be lying if I didn't agree.
- Because it, I really think so, honestly,
because the Crocs, because my foot,
I didn't have on the little back band of it.
(37:36):
So my foot slid out.
And I think I tried to catch myself.
So I stepped up again.
And that's when my toe was pushed all the way back.
And it was my pinky toe to make things worse.
And so yeah, it was.
- No, what, thank you.
- It was no point out.
- Sir, sir, I don't have a foot finish
(37:56):
could talk to me at your feet.
I hate feet, that's the thing.
Like I felt, and then the doctor,
God, this made me so mad.
So I'm standing there or sitting there,
laying there, whatever.
And he comes up, he doesn't put on gloves.
He doesn't do any that.
He just grabs a hold of my foot and he just lifts it up.
And he's like, "Oh, we got her."
No, no, Doc, please put my foot on gloves.
(38:18):
(crickets chirping)
Exactly.
I'm blessed.
- What is that?
- I have said this a doctor.
He's mad because he can't touch my foot.
(laughing)
What was that?
- That was so installing.
(laughing)
- Jesus.
- I didn't know if the spirits were coming or what?
(laughing)
(38:38):
I felt like I was playing Call of Duty again,
getting the shit scared out of me.
That's what it sounded like.
- We have some friends with a little less.
And the husband is a travel healthcare worker.
So it's their little dog.
- Ooh.
- Well, like the screaming.
(laughing)
- Yeah, it sounds like something.
That was kind of shook me a little bit.
(39:00):
But yeah, I literally started looking around.
(laughing)
- I did too.
I took off one earphone and I'm like,
"What's yelling?"
It was like, "Look, mom, oh, don't you?"
- Well, things like, I'm in my office right now.
And all the doors are closed.
So I'm just like,
"What happened?
What is that?"
- You were like, "I thought I was alone.
Is that the neighbor?
What is that?"
(39:21):
- Yeah.
- You're not wondering if we were in it too.
- Well, so that actually is a good segue into
what happened with the lady that was next to me at the ER
because that's what we heard when they were bringing her in.
She, I don't, I think she was like in her,
say, late 60s is what it sounded like.
And they were doing chest compressions on her
(39:42):
when they were bringing her in.
And so when the air is forced out through your vocal cords
with each in and out, it kind of had to,
- Yeah. (laughs)
- Yeah, it was a little Michael Jackson how to go.
- Yeah, that's what it was.
- I'm with that on a sound bite.
But that's what it's kind of what it was.
(40:03):
And so every time it would go in,
they would go in and it would sound like,
(laughs)
- No, just one he.
So. - Atchit?
- Yeah.
And then they would.
(laughs)
And then they would go out and it would sound like,
(laughs)
- Like, (laughs)
- It was so high pitched.
It wasn't that high pitched before, but anyway.
(40:24):
- Yeah.
- So it was kind of. - It was so high pitched.
- Yeah, so well, so yeah.
Then they brought this lady in and they did chest
compressions on her and then I was like,
oh my God, I think she's, I think she made it
'cause we heard like, are you okay?
(laughs)
And then we were like, what is that?
(laughs)
Who is that?
'Cause we were surrounded by a curtain.
(40:44):
We couldn't see anything.
Oh, we were just hearing all this and had to make up
our own images or whatever.
And next thing you know, they were like,
oh no, she's dead.
(laughs)
Oh, it was actually the daughter of the woman
who apparently was a very heavy Marboro fan.
(41:05):
- Oh, yeah.
- See, that's when you like throw the curtain
be like, look, if you don't get that dead broad out of here,
I will give you the most scathing, yelp review.
- Yeah, on the ER, I'm gonna leave it in yelp review.
- Yeah. - No, I don't, I could never.
- Yes, I could, that is something.
- Oh, but you have.
- Sure, I probably should actually.
(41:25):
I've done it for worse things, you know?
I've gotten free stuff out of it too.
Most of the time that's why I do it.
- Oh.
- And yeah, the ER in a small town, it's absolutely lovely.
- I know what it is now. - You should definitely
check it out.
Gotta love a good ER, ER visit.
- Yeah, I was gonna tell you about mine, right?
(41:46):
- You went to the ER, when was this?
- Yeah, this was last year.
- What happened?
- I had this septoplasty surgery
because of the like, deviated septum.
- Yep.
- And everything went great.
Surgery was fine.
- No hold on, leading up to that,
did you always have a deviated septum
or did something happen to cause that?
- No, I think I've always had it.
I wanna say it was a gradatory
(42:08):
'cause like it can be, most cases it is.
Pretty sure my mom and dad have it both.
No, actually, a lot of people have other shabbos.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's like a fucking thing.
We were just like, maybe lean born with it, you know?
(laughing)
So I just wanted to like, finally get it taken care of
'cause like I was getting like a sore on the left side
(42:30):
where it was deviated,
'cause of the way the airflow was just always
like constantly hitting right there.
- Yeah.
- I was like, I'm pretty sure it's fucking deviated,
whatever, so.
- Kinda like a Momo scorpion daddy over there.
- I'm just talking about. - Hitting and down.
- Hitting and down.
(laughing)
- Yeah, kinda like that.
(laughing)
So I went in, got it checked out and everything,
(42:50):
and then I like, yeah, obviously it's deviated
like this is the surgery, blah, blah.
So I got on the information and then
had surgery like literally.
I had the surgery a month from the restart of my insurance
or the month after it.
So I had to pay it all out of pocket.
- Oh my God.
How much was that?
(43:11):
- It was poor timing,
'cause it was up in the fucking year.
I think total IP was like eight or 9,000.
- Oh, whatever. - And Crocs were you.
(laughing)
Listen, if he were, he would've got a discount though.
- No, he would not.
- Trying to stay positive, Damien.
(43:32):
- So what caused, like, use the ER visit?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- It's so fucking stupid.
(laughing)
- It's embarrassing.
Okay, well, never.
That makes the best of ones.
Nothing, nothing compares to Crocs.
So, but let's see.
- Really fucking dumb.
I don't even know why I did it.
So you get the packing and all that
(43:53):
and it was actually in both nostrils,
the packing and everything.
- Yeah.
- It's like a two week healing journey, whatever.
So that was going great.
I wasn't touching anything.
I wasn't messing with anything.
I'm like, "No, I'm healing, healing great."
So I go in for my appointment after like a week
and half or two week work and then they pull everything out.
Everything's good and like, yeah, looks great.
(44:15):
You'll still heal for a few days after all the packing
as you move, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, "Okay, cool."
So I go home, I'm able to like breathe out
of my fucking nose finally.
I can like, because when the packing is in there,
you literally are mouth breathing for like two fucking weeks
and it is the most miserable.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, it is miserable.
- That's reminding me of like some,
(44:36):
some hay Arnold.
What is that guy that was always behind him?
- Oh, yes.
(laughing)
- Brace guy, whatever his name was.
- Yeah, the brace dude.
- Oh my God.
- Yes.
- Oh, that's funny.
But your ears are constantly popping
because every time you swallow or, well, anything.
(laughing)
- But every time you eat or drink that pressure.
(44:57):
- Yeah.
- Yep.
So they were constantly popping.
So all that was done, I was like, you know,
thriving and vibing, getting ready to go back to work.
Bubble bath.
Well, I was a fucking dumbass and I have this little
device where you can like look in your ears
and it's got a camera on it and you get to get to get to
get these.
(laughing)
(45:18):
It's got little attachments and all the fancy shit.
- Did you get this off the table?
- For wish.
- No, no, no, no, it was, I don't know where,
it was online somewhere.
- And seeing.
- I had had this, I had this for like two years
or something even before the surgery.
So I was like, I'm gonna go and look at the filling progress.
So my dumbass, which was fine
(45:42):
because I went in barely a little bit,
just to look on the camera.
I was like, yeah, looks good.
And then I was like, oh shit.
And then there's this really dark spot in the very back,
which dumbass knee, hello, that's a dry blood clot.
Don't fucking touch it.
- Well, I noticed it.
- Oh yeah.
I noticed that it was loose and kind of wiggling.
- Oh.
- Oh, I bet that's just like a piece of dry blood.
(46:03):
I need, like I totally get that out.
So I stick this fucking camera thing,
with the little scoop attachment on it.
- Oh.
- Yeah, I go on it even fast.
- Oh.
- 'Cause they had shaved on some turbulence or wherever.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- So they shaved some of those down too in the process,
which I did not know that.
(46:23):
So that was just dry blood on the end of the turbulent.
And I was like wiggling it.
And it was like, it was super loose
up to where I thought it was just like dry blood,
blood, blood, blood, or whatever.
- Stop it.
- So no, but listen though.
So I kept fucking with it.
And then I finally got it loose enough
to where it was coming out.
And I was like, oh, sweet.
(46:44):
And it felt so relieving.
It felt like I could breathe even more even so.
And like,
- I was like, oh, cool.
- It was awesome.
- Literally, like it started bleeding so bad.
And then I was like, going down your throat
or did you have to lean forward?
- Oh, at first I had to lean forward.
I like at first it was just like a normal nose bleed.
(47:05):
And I was like, okay, this, you know, oh shit.
Like I was picking my nose with that thing.
Of course I didn't know that.
So my, it was like 10 fucking 30 years something at night.
And my husband's like,
long sleep on the couch and moving around.
And I'm like, hey, don't fall asleep.
My nose isn't stopping bleeding,
but usually I can get it stopped in like five minutes.
'Cause usually it's, I can manage it pretty quickly.
(47:26):
Well, 30 minutes goes by and it was not stopping.
So I had to wake him up.
And I'm like, we probably need to go to the yard
because it's like going down my throat now.
And like, I don't wanna swallow it.
So I kept, I was constantly just like,
kept spitting it out as it was trying to go down my throat.
But it was like constant to where like,
that's all I was doing.
I couldn't, I could barely talk
(47:47):
'cause I was just constantly trying to like get it out
to where it wasn't going in my stomach.
But of course, there was residual like, you know,
going down like, seriously.
I've never had a nose bleed like that before.
So we get to the yard.
- Were you experiencing any pain while this was happening?
- No, not at all.
- Which, yeah.
(48:08):
So we get to the yard.
They try to like, she's like, oh,
I'm gonna try a few things.
And so she tries to pack it.
She leaves it there for like 10 minutes
with some solution on the end of it
to where we'll kind of like claw up or whatever.
She comes back and as that is like,
doing its things supposed to be anyway,
I'm like sitting there waiting for her to come back in
and I'm still constantly just swallowing blood
(48:30):
and trying to spitting it out.
So then she comes back in like 10 minutes later.
She's like, all right, how's that working?
Like, let's check it.
So she checks it and it is just,
nope, didn't do a damn fucking thing.
So then she's like, well, we're gonna try this like,
other stuff and it was like this really fine fucking powder
and she like kind of like,
haven't even told back and stuff that in my nose
(48:50):
and vixed it with some other stuff.
I don't know, nothing fucking works though.
And about 30 minutes into that visit,
I had like the biggest fucking like,
like, come up.
When I tell you a softball size, not baseball,
it came up in like a fucking ball.
(49:13):
And it was this scariest fucking thing ever.
But so that passed and then still can't go to the stop.
She's like, well, we may have to admit you did it.
You know, I like it for you know, last but not least,
put Rhino rockets in both of your nostrils
if we can get this to stop, which is like a nits pressure
because they inflate to like double the size of your fucking nostrils.
(49:33):
- Oh my God.
But it didn't come to that.
It did so a teeny bit.
I went home and it bled for the whole next day
and I was still like, it was still going down my throat.
So I literally was like,
- Was it as much as it was that night?
- It wasn't as much, but it was still enough
to like be concerning of like,
how much fucking blood am I losing?
But I was able to get into my ENT doctor
(49:56):
like the next day, he had to repack everything.
And then it was still kind of bleeding,
but it was definitely getting better.
But anyway, all that to say it was a worse thing
than I thought I was going to die a couple of times.
And I'm like, I think I'm just going to die.
And like, and Jordan, my husband, he was like trying to just
console me and be like, trying to keep us cool.
But then after everything was said and done and like better,
(50:18):
he was like, honestly, he's like,
I was getting really worried for a while,
but I just didn't want to like,
I didn't want you to see that.
So I didn't say anything.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I see.
He was like, so I'm what's going to ask
where the life insurance policy was,
but I didn't want to, you know.
(laughing)
- If you get a septal class,
you don't fucking mess with it after rights.
- So how did you feel telling them what started it?
(50:38):
- I honestly never did.
- Don't, I don't want if you ever give me shit
about my crocs again.
You hear me?
At least I was honest.
- What, no, I didn't do nothing like that.
(laughing)
I turned you into my ballet shoes.
- Nessie, here's my thing.
I used to get nosebleeds constantly.
The worst one was I was sitting there.
(50:59):
It was like two in the morning.
I was living at home.
I couldn't fucking bring myself to go back to bed
because of all the blood clots
coming out and none of them were softball size.
(laughing)
But like, I hacked one up and I felt like
a fucking anime character like,
(groaning)
that all you got.
(laughing)
But I was so fucking tired and I was like,
I kind of woozy.
(51:20):
So I laid down in the bathroom.
My brother came to like get ready for school in the morning.
He started screaming.
I said, it's fine.
He's like, it looks like a murder scene in here.
I was like, I'll clean it up later.
I just like, I got tired and fell asleep in the floor.
- Oh my God, yeah.
This wasn't the bleach crossover we wanted.
(laughing)
- No.
- God, that's horrible.
Well, at least you're better now.
(51:41):
Right, how long did it take you to
for it to all heal after that?
Without you picking at it.
- That's the weaker so.
I don't know, it's so good to try in there
but I don't want to like, that's what it of course but.
- So yeah, no more camera scapples up there.
(laughing)
- Oh my gosh, stupidest fucking thing I've ever done.
But no, I never told them what I did.
I just said they, I just said the clock came out
(52:02):
or whatever and they were like, okay, you know what happens.
And I'm like, well, I didn't see any camera.
- Wow.
See, I had a bilateral terminate reduction as well.
Well, not that you had that but they did shave down.
Obviously, both of mine.
I tell you though, after the healing,
the breathing is so much better.
It's quite amazing what that does.
(52:25):
So yeah, and it's never gonna be 100%
but I mean, some people have better outcomes
than others just 'cause they can only do so much
in there they can't do, you know.
- Why don't some people who have had a deviated septal
and they've had to have a CPAP machine
because it was so bad?
Were you ever to that point?
- Yeah, no.
- Yeah, see that's good.
At least you didn't have to worry about that.
(52:47):
So.
- No, at least I didn't die.
- Well, at least you didn't die
and at least you didn't have to your crocs to blame on it.
Or someone like Momo to bring you down
when you're already down.
- You know.
- Off the ladder.
- Once you go all the way down,
the only place left to go was up.
- Well, there you go, Tony Robbins.
What a beautiful ending to this today's episode.
(53:07):
Well, hey, I appreciate you, Scotty, for being on.
Momo, hopefully you're back.
I don't know if you want to be
but that would definitely be appreciated.
And Scotty, you too, I would love for you to come back.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I think so too.
We talk about more blood stories.
- Oh my, by the way, was your clot, was it very jelly?
Was it like a giant jelly ball?
(53:28):
- Oh, like, yes.
- Yes.
- Like right when that happened though,
I was like, I don't know,
everything just ran through my head like,
is this the end plug?
I don't know, like, there's,
this is the end.
- This is the scariest fucking thing.
- Scotty, your brain.
- Oh, that's amazing.
I threw it up.
I threw it up until like,
(53:48):
bottle cup thing that I had brought.
It was like a water bottle with like, you know, fancy lid.
Like,
- You were like, well, well, well, well,
you're in the hospital and you threw it up
and something you brought?
- Yeah.
- Did you take it home?
- Yeah.
- Is it still in a jar?
- I threw the whole fucking thing.
Like, I don't need that bottle.
I don't need this,
but it's okay.
(54:09):
- What, what was it, a Stanley?
- No, it was before that trend.
- Oh, okay, all right.
Gotcha.
So it was a,
what was that visco girl thing?
What did they have?
Those, over those balls.
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.
- Damn it.
- Hydroflask.
- Hydroflask.
Yeah, it was an hydroflask.
(54:29):
- Oh god.
- I would have just grabbed a damn red solo cup
and called it a day.
- Okay, unlike your kitchen,
not all ERs have those line around everywhere
with bottles of vodka.
- He said he brought it from home
and I drink tequila, mister.
- Oh, my man.
My man.
My apologies.
All right, well, that'll do it for us.
He needs the chat,
(54:49):
by the way, go over to harsh.media or harshmediaink.com
and you can check all this out there.
And maybe, maybe we'll put a picture of Captain Hooker
up on there too, people.
(cow mooing)
Yeah, you're a stinger.
You make me,
all right, we'll check it out later.
Bye.
(55:10):
- Bye.
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[Music]
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