September 17, 2023 • 57 mins
Episode 8: High Speeds and Heartaches - A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Adventures!
Hey there, beautiful listeners! Brace yourselves as we venture into another exhilarating episode of "The Chat: A Podcast", where emotions run high and adventures know no bounds. Your favorite hosts, Thea and Charlie, are back with stories that will tug at your heartstrings and keep you at the edge of your seat.
In this episode, we kick things off with Thea recounting her recent emergency room visit, a stark reminder of the daily battles she faces with fibromyalgia. It's a raw and honest segment that sheds light on the realities of living with chronic pain, offering support and advice to those who need it.
But the emotional rollercoaster doesn't stop there. Charlie opens up about a recent disappointment involving Nuggie Boy, Thea's playful acquaintance, and a picture that crossed the line. It's a candid discussion on boundaries and respect, with insights that many will find relatable.
And speaking of boundaries, we delve deep into Charlie's current state of heart - a place where love seems elusive, and the journey to find it feels more and more like a distant dream. It's a heartfelt segment that many will resonate with, as we navigate the complex world of modern love.
But it's not all heartaches and disappointments! We spice things up with a nostalgic trip down memory lane as Thea shares the latest chapter in the Coke Vendor Guy Chronicles. It's a story filled with old connections, flirtations, and the excitement of what might be on the horizon.
And hold onto your seats because Charlie is taking us on a high-speed adventure that is both thrilling and terrifying. A Memorial Day weekend story that serves as a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of safety.
So, gear up for an episode that promises a whirlwind of emotions, from laughter to tears, from heartaches to thrills. Join us on this rollercoaster ride, where life's highs and lows are discussed with both humor and depth. Tune in to "The Chat: A Podcast" for an episode that promises not only entertainment but also heartfelt conversations and life lessons.
Don't miss out on this emotional rollercoaster of an episode. Subscribe now and join us for a chat that promises to be both heartwarming and electrifying!
Hey there, beautiful listeners! Brace yourselves as we venture into another exhilarating episode of "The Chat: A Podcast", where emotions run high and adventures know no bounds. Your favorite hosts, Thea and Charlie, are back with stories that will tug at your heartstrings and keep you at the edge of your seat.
In this episode, we kick things off with Thea recounting her recent emergency room visit, a stark reminder of the daily battles she faces with fibromyalgia. It's a raw and honest segment that sheds light on the realities of living with chronic pain, offering support and advice to those who need it.
But the emotional rollercoaster doesn't stop there. Charlie opens up about a recent disappointment involving Nuggie Boy, Thea's playful acquaintance, and a picture that crossed the line. It's a candid discussion on boundaries and respect, with insights that many will find relatable.
And speaking of boundaries, we delve deep into Charlie's current state of heart - a place where love seems elusive, and the journey to find it feels more and more like a distant dream. It's a heartfelt segment that many will resonate with, as we navigate the complex world of modern love.
But it's not all heartaches and disappointments! We spice things up with a nostalgic trip down memory lane as Thea shares the latest chapter in the Coke Vendor Guy Chronicles. It's a story filled with old connections, flirtations, and the excitement of what might be on the horizon.
And hold onto your seats because Charlie is taking us on a high-speed adventure that is both thrilling and terrifying. A Memorial Day weekend story that serves as a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of safety.
So, gear up for an episode that promises a whirlwind of emotions, from laughter to tears, from heartaches to thrills. Join us on this rollercoaster ride, where life's highs and lows are discussed with both humor and depth. Tune in to "The Chat: A Podcast" for an episode that promises not only entertainment but also heartfelt conversations and life lessons.
Don't miss out on this emotional rollercoaster of an episode. Subscribe now and join us for a chat that promises to be both heartwarming and electrifying!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Music]
(00:10):
Hello, welcome to the podcast and he's the chat. It is me.
Charlie.
I'm here.
How are you?
[Laughter]
I knew asking that was probably going to open up a whole, a can of worms, but...
Oh, yeah.
You know what? Hey, it's all good. You are here.
I am queer.
(00:31):
And we're back, baby. And we're going to talk about how...
Well, I guess the first thing we need to talk about is your health because it seems like
if you're not breaking your nose, then you're going all out with something else. So you
went to the ER. What is going on?
Everybody knows. She's kind of feeling, you know, you got the fibromyalgia.
(00:52):
Yeah.
Explain what that is for someone who doesn't know.
Very, very basic overview is chronic pain, chronic fatigue. There's a lot more with it.
It can go all throughout your entire system to play on different aspects. Like it can
make my hearing a little bit worse one day.
(01:12):
Fibromyalgia again?
Yes. It plays on every system.
That's so strange. What causes it?
They don't know. And it is a diagnosis of elimination. So it could honestly be something
that we just haven't really weeded down yet.
So...
(01:32):
It sounds like it's kind of something that they just... because they feel like they have to
give it a name. They just say, "All right, well, we went through eight things. It's not
that. You got to have fibromyalgia."
Yeah. A lot of times it is a catch-all. But yeah.
It's so weird. And they don't know what... Well, I guess they don't really know what it is.
(01:53):
They can't really say they know what causes it.
Yeah. And it's what's known as number one, an invisible illness, which we pretty much
now know what that is. If you don't, it's basically an illness you can't see. And ironically,
the...
What do they call the high blood pressure, the silent killer?
No, I don't think fibromyalgia is really that.
(02:15):
Right. Actually, that's why I went to the hospital was because my blood pressure is always steady.
But I was in so much pain that it sent my... It said I was in stage two hypertension.
What?
Yeah. That's why I went to the hospital.
Did you...
Do you have like a little blood pressure monitor cuff or...
No.
(02:35):
I remember I work in stores. So I...
Oh, you put your arm in the little thingy?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I'm not in handy, but here you go.
Dude, I felt terrible and I'm like, "What can I do? What can I do?"
So I'm drinking all the water that I can. I'm trying to do anything I know that can mitigate
(02:56):
this, but I still have to work. We're fabulous.
So I'm in store and I look at my friend who I met through the job. So I've known him
for a couple of months now and she just looks at me and then I look at the other one and
(03:16):
they go, "You good?"
And I'm like...
They just look at you like you're crazy.
Yeah.
And on the way to the ER I stopped at my sister's house. I'm like, "I know she has a different
kind of cuff. She has the one for her wrist or for your wrist."
Yeah.
So it's going to be less pain while I'm testing so it potentially could come back with
(03:40):
a lower blood pressure because of the pain.
Yeah.
And...
So you're saying that even if you were to do like the regular blood pressure cuff, just doing
the pressure alone would cause you pain?
I...yes. I have had times where I've frantically had to hit the stop button. I have actually had
one time where they actually had to pop the cuff.
(04:00):
Oh my God. See, I would have never have realized that it could get that bad.
My...
I am very sensitive to touch but I am very much a love bug and the pain that I get whenever
I hug somebody is outweighed by the affection.
(04:21):
So I make these decisions and if I ever turn a hug down, you know it's a bad day.
Gosh, that's crazy. I would have...
Isn't that what Lady Gaga has?
Yes.
Fiber of my Alja?
Yes.
Yeah, because I remember there was something going on where she was just like... people were
(04:42):
thinking, "Oh my God, did she just have surgery?"
Because she was walking real stiff and strange and...
And keep him...
Yeah, that's...
She has a massage therapist always with her 24/7.
Because of that issue?
So...then you have me.
We need to get you a massage therapist.
I mean, that's really it.
(05:02):
You know...
I think you need to let all your cats out at once and let them make biscuits on your...
If you could see my thighs.
It's like they're perforated.
They are just...
Oh.
Look like a little ping cushion.
Yes.
Jellybeam Baby has nothing in his head.
He has no understanding of, "Oh, this hurts you?"
(05:23):
And I'm like, "Yes, that's why I'm shouting."
Aww, poor kitty.
He's so sweet though.
I bet someone else who I'd like to make him a pin cushion.
Your old nuggy boy.
I'm so frustrated at him still.
So here's the thing, right?
So we were talking about him showing me...
I thought he was going to be on board with it the first time.
(05:45):
I wanted him to show me a picture of what he was working with.
Because obviously he's proud, right?
I mean, to some degrees, making you happy visually and...
I mean...
Well, remote, stimuli is the kind of the name of the game.
And so I was thinking that, "Okay, awesome.
He's going to go ahead.
He's going to show me this massive banana hammock meat chime thing."
(06:10):
Meat chimes.
Oh my God.
I think there's more for like a female who's been beaten up down there.
Meat chimes.
Oh, that's disgusting.
Wiz Finns?
Anybody.
I'm just coming up with these.
I'll top my head.
You're thinking of not chimes.
What is it?
Curtains.
(06:31):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Arby's roast beef, baby.
Still reminds me of that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I want Arby's right now.
Okay.
Number one, me too.
Number two.
You talking about the movement or you also want to sandwich?
I'm just asking.
Hey.
I want Arby's 24/7 bitch.
(06:52):
I actually have Arby sauce in my fridge.
I have a mini fridge.
So there's not a lot of room in there, but I have Arby sauce.
See, do they?
Like a bottle.
Yes.
Does they sell it at the store?
They don't.
Yeah, they sell it at Walmart.
Arby sauce?
Yes.
Wow.
Bet your ass.
It's amazing.
I'm going to have to get some.
Yes, you are.
And that sounds good.
(07:12):
So anyway, nugs.
So I was really pissed at him because she shows me.
And she shows me this picture that I thought was going to be his junk.
No, it was a junk meme.
It was literally a picture of a rooster.
Here's my cock, Charlie.
Look at my cock.
I was so pissed.
(07:32):
Yeah, but the aftermath and your response.
Yeah, well, I'm sure he was happy about that.
He got a reaction out of me and he didn't have to give anything up.
And what?
He fully intended on actually showing you the entire time.
Uh-huh.
Seriously?
Yeah.
(07:53):
Well, what are you waiting on?
Yeah, are you serious?
He was going to do it all time.
Yes.
Look, bitch.
I don't enjoy being played with with my emotions or my loins.
And you did.
Your points are very tender.
I have tenderloins, bitch.
I have tenderloins very much so.
(08:16):
Yeah, they may be like ham-hawks, but you know, I just, um, oh my.
May I borrow your phone for a moment?
It's a great photo, right?
It is beautiful.
Okay.
I did that.
I even like the dribble.
(08:36):
That is happening.
That's quite not.
Oh.
Did he just shoot a load?
On that towel?
Probably.
It's a perfect triangle.
Your geometry is on par, sir.
You shoot loads and teach geometry with them.
Oh, that's incredible.
(08:57):
Okay.
Props.
He made you see it now?
Yeah, see?
I give you props.
Nuggy boy.
Give you a prop.
You know what?
As a friend, I would give you a bro job.
I'm just saying I'd give him a bro job.
You know?
No kissing?
Just a little jigger jigger jigger.
You know, whatever.
I'm doing hand movement.
(09:21):
I'm glad we're doing a video.
This is too much.
Yeah.
So, but cool.
Well, thanks for.
Thank you, buddy.
Oh, pal, how old is he?
Uh, a bit older than us.
A bit.
Okay.
Hey, you know what?
I'm down with the brown.
Down with the brown.
What the fuck?
I don't know.
I was going to say down with the gray, but that didn't really rhyme well.
(09:42):
I'm assuming that he was that older, but whatever.
Well, good.
So have y'all video played?
Uh, like live like FaceTime type video.
Like we've talked to each other.
Yeah.
No, I'm talking about like, you know, in jerk and you, you know, pounding away at the
whistfin.
Or the, the beans names.
These names, we want to vomit.
(10:03):
Like, I have very little control over.
See now I'm curious what other people will use for their names of certain body parts,
you know?
I do not know, but I do have one that's funny.
Cause okay.
So you know a lot of gamers are like, T bag.
Oh, yeah.
Clamslam.
(10:24):
Oh, that's incredible.
Where'd you hear that?
Me.
Oh my god, the clam slam.
That's impressive.
I'm going to use that one by Nicki Minaj's Call of Duty character.
I'm going to clam slam somebody.
I, okay, when we used to have a lamb parties for Halo.
Yeah.
(10:44):
That's.
Oh, that's old school.
Yeah, buddy.
That's how long you've been using this.
Yes.
Man, now it's not original to me to somebody else probably.
So it's probably gotten around.
No, no, no, no, I did lamb parties.
So it's like only a couple of nerds that know.
Well, but they might have used it and then they, they who heard it might have used it.
Why would they use it?
I don't know.
(11:05):
Maybe their character was like Nicki Minaj.
Or, you know, I love my Nicki Minaj character.
Don't judge me.
I'm super proud about that.
Oh my god.
That's great.
Clam slam.
It makes me giggle every time.
Man, there's, there's my 15 year old cousin's going to shit a brick when he hears that.
(11:25):
Or another name that I like.
Oh god.
I don't use it personally.
What?
Cockpocket.
That's what you know, the notes you hit were so perfect.
Like it was just incredible.
(11:47):
That's why.
Cockpocket.
Oh my god.
That's great.
I love it.
The good old cockpockets.
Hell yeah.
Who needs, you know what?
You see my, my pocket pussy at the end of the show.
Is that where you came up with the cock pocket?
No.
I'm going to call it.
I'm going to get it by label maker and I'm going to put cock pocket on it.
(12:08):
Oh my god.
I almost bought a label maker today.
Almost huh?
Yeah, but when I went back forward, it was gone.
Oh someone else got it.
That's sad.
See, I absolutely love my label maker.
I was, I got it with the intention of being organized.
Now I find myself being less organized, but everything that I lose, I find has label.
(12:30):
It's always a plus sign, you know.
So once you find it, you know what's up.
Once I find it, I know what it is.
Absolutely.
But I was going to say I could put that on there.
But now my fear is, what if I die in a freak accident or something and my mom is going through
my shit and she just goes through.
I want to eat cat.
I don't know.
My mom doesn't sound like she's 90, but I will do my best to attain all of you.
(12:55):
Yeah, I need you to come over here and just clean up for me.
I will do my best.
And then, yeah, let her deal with all everything.
We're going to have to talk about where things are.
Hey, I will actually, as depressing as this sounds, I've got all my papers and stuff
ready to go.
Yeah.
In my file right here.
I'm not worried about that.
Okay.
(13:15):
We know where that is.
I need to know where the stuff I need to get out is.
Okay.
This hard drive.
This hard drive.
My phone.
I'm going to get it.
No, mainly my sex toys.
This is oddly enough the ones I don't use, but you know, I have them just in case for those
(13:38):
one off.
You have one of your bathroom sink.
Yeah, I do.
It was drying out.
Look, I didn't, and you know what?
The funny thing is what it's on.
Do you know what that is?
I didn't even look.
It's, it's, so with my little hot pot that I bought.
I came with an egg steamer.
(13:58):
I don't like eggs that are steamed.
So I'm using it as the drying rack.
Yeah.
I do remember seeing that.
I saw that last time and I was like, is it me?
Yeah.
Look, multipurpose items, you know.
It worked out pretty well.
It has like a little handle in the middle and I just put the little cox leave on it.
And just it drains.
It's like a little drain pan.
(14:20):
You just said that.
You said cox leave and oh, I talked to the ex and he was talking about it.
He's going to be talking about the chick.
He's banging.
Oh, does he have another one?
Oh, yeah.
What about the dude?
No, he's still.
Oh, he's banging both.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, he's banging three different ones.
(14:43):
That's just what I know about.
Does it bother you still at this point?
Somewhat, but not really because I know this is a he, him thing.
It's not anything to do with me.
Did you still hook up with him right now?
Fluck no.
Because of all the playing around.
Yeah.
Okay.
(15:04):
I don't trust him.
I don't trust that he has use protection.
Right.
He probably hasn't.
No, he probably hasn't.
But this fucking idiot, he's like, uh, I'm making sure to have sex with this girl because
she's like super fertile.
That's what you get when you're with the fucking baby.
So is he trying to get them pregnant?
(15:25):
He's like, I'm trying to have sex with her as far away from her period as possible.
And I go, you fucking idiot.
That's when she's ovulating.
Yeah.
Like that.
You want to do it closer to the period because.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
He is, uh, he needs to go back to that part that we learned in school.
He obviously skipped the course.
(15:47):
Yeah.
Well, all right.
So you would hook up with him.
Would you use protection if you did?
Well, no, I don't know if I would.
I honestly don't know hook up with him.
Period.
Yeah.
Would it be a mental thing like you're still kind of upset about everything going on or have
(16:08):
you kind of moved on from that in your in an area in your head where you're like, okay,
maybe I could hook up with you, but I need to find a way to separate.
I would need to heal first.
Number one.
And you haven't done that.
It's been short period of time.
And also I would need.
I would need protection.
I would not.
(16:30):
This man doesn't even know what size condom he wears.
I think there's only one size in its horse, right?
I mean, from what I've heard, I don't know.
Well, okay.
But you got to understand that magnums, they get the reputation for being the largest,
but they're actually not really.
Oh, yeah.
(16:51):
The directs double XL is both wider and longer.
And so is he a widen the longer?
Is he more of a long or more of a wide?
He needs a little bit of both.
He needs.
Oh, okay.
So he's the whole damn you hall.
I dig it.
Yeah.
Well, I'm still sad.
He's still got to deal with him.
(17:12):
I'm still sad that I haven't seen it.
Oh, he'll probably show you.
That's just kind of...
Yeah, but I wouldn't want to do that to you because if that would make you uncomfortable,
I wouldn't want my friend to be.
If you're more time to heal me.
Okay, I'll put it on my canode.
I'll put it on my calendar.
Yeah, I'm putting it on my calendar.
I'll hit you up around January.
(17:33):
Hey, listen.
You're over him yet because I can't wait to see that cat.
Man.
As long as it's not the seventh or the 20th.
This of January?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We got to keep it around birthday and then.
My birthday and then our anniversary.
Oh my God.
Let's roll back January then.
Let's try something.
Let's do a November.
(17:54):
Well, that's our dating anniversary.
That's what we're doing.
When did you get married?
August.
Oh God.
That just happened.
So he left right before our ninth anniversary.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Talk about a stab and twist.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
What a dick.
What a dick.
Hey, but this will be your opportunity to move on to maybe somebody who...
(18:15):
I don't know, deliver sodas for listening.
I'm just saying there is that guy, Mr. Koch Vinder guy.
We talked.
Okay.
So that was the thing last time is when we were doing the show, you were messaging him.
He was messaging back.
But did you go back and forth and actually talk?
Yeah.
And we even talked in person the other day.
(18:36):
Oh, so y'all talked in person since we recorded last time.
Since last show.
What's going on?
He actually has someone he is pursuing.
But were you one of them before?
Uh huh.
I told you.
Oh my God.
But I'm okay with that.
I'm really okay with that because number one, I still have a stigma about being with someone
(19:00):
who knew me before because I am not that same person.
And there has been so much trauma in between these two people that it's hard for me to reconcile.
But in all fairness.
He was never really in your circle in his school.
So he didn't really know you before.
(19:21):
It's not even about him knowing me.
That's the thing.
It's for me to reconcile.
It's not anything to do with him.
That's part of the reason I have stayed away from dating down here.
Okay.
That number related to half the fucking town.
I mean, I'm right there with you.
I just would rather go up somewhere else.
(19:43):
But I don't have the luxury of doing that anymore.
Oh, honey.
I know.
You and I need to make a Dallas trip.
I will.
I will be your Uber.
You want to be my Uber?
My sex Uber?
My super.
So are you all going to hang out like in person?
Like just be friends outside of work and coming across that way or?
Yeah.
(20:03):
And that was the thing.
He was like, look, I'm going to be blunt.
And I'm like, dude, blunt works best.
And I was like, I don't take any offense.
I want everybody to get laid.
And I was like, God, I love it.
And to be completely honest, I hope she is everything you want.
And I hope that I never get a chance because of it.
I hope that this is the perfect person for you.
(20:25):
And I mean that sincerely.
He said that?
I told him.
Oh, you said that to him.
I told him that in person.
Let me ask you this.
Yes.
Would you be cool if we could bring him on?
Really?
Why?
Why?
He is too innocent for our, our person.
(20:46):
No, no, no, no.
We wouldn't make it anything like that.
It would just be simple conversation.
I still wouldn't be comfortable with it just because I don't know him as well as I would
like to know him to do something like that.
Like if it were--
Well, I need you to get to know him and then get back to me because I have questions.
I am the most awkward person.
(21:07):
Oh, I know.
But it's okay because it sounds like he kind of is as well.
In fact, I think he kind of was in school.
Yeah.
And he does--
But he does not like texting.
He doesn't like messaging back and forth.
Oh, boy.
Same.
Fucking--
The same.
So it's like weird for me.
So I'm like, OK, I'll see you in person.
Peace.
(21:27):
You know what's crazy is that I kind of just don't like communication.
Period.
Like I just don't.
But yet, this is what you do.
But this is, yeah.
So this is-- here we are.
But this is OK.
It's really weird because I have to be in the mood in the moment.
Like does that make sense?
Like I want to be able to just get in, dive into whatever it is we're talking about, and then,
(21:48):
you know?
It's your anxiety.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it really is, actually.
Yeah, same.
Oh, god, anxiety.
So you're going to continue talking to him, hopefully build up on a friendship or build
more up on it.
Before me, it's better because I would prefer to be with the person I've been pursuing.
(22:09):
So.
So with your ex, how long were you two friends before, I guess, you've made it official?
Official.
Met him in August.
And then January 20th.
(22:29):
I didn't-- he didn't ask me out or anything. He introduced me as his girlfriend.
Really?
Yeah.
I was down with it, but--
What?
I hope so.
He came along with my sins.
Right.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's kind of cool, though, in a way.
Like for somebody to take that initiative, especially if you're feeling it, you know?
(22:51):
Oh, yeah.
And we were.
We were both feeling it.
But he just-- he was scared of taking that step.
I think just for me knowing him, the amount of time that I have and being around in my
sea where there's a lot of reservations in being forward.
(23:12):
That comes with communication, which is obviously an issue amongst other things.
But he can communicate with any fucking body else.
See?
That's the thing.
I'm getting information about what's wrong with our marriage from a chick overseas.
Oh, well, that's not Boy No.
No, not at all.
(23:33):
Oh my God.
What a--
And it wasn't even shit I was doing.
Some of it was, but I mean, like some of this was stuff that had nothing to do with me.
And he couldn't even talk to me.
And I'm like, well, hopefully you can--
Well, look, you're moving on from him.
(23:53):
Yeah.
So that's a good thing.
I do notice he comes over on occasion, but it's not like he stays forever, you know, y'all
are--
No.
He stays for a couple of hours and then--
Are you fine with being friends still or is that even still tough?
It's difficult, but this is something that I really want.
(24:15):
I want this.
Gotcha.
It's not for him.
It is for me.
And--
Is he okay with that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's totally on board because he's like, look, I still love you.
I'm going to punch you if he keeps saying that, you know that, right?
See, that to me would bother me if he kept saying that because it's almost like he's trying
to convince himself.
(24:36):
Yeah.
But like, why would you find the need to keep telling me that?
He still loves me.
He's just not in love with me.
And he doesn't know how to reconcile the fact that his marriage is ending in divorce.
He wanted to be the perfect husband, but just because you want something doesn't mean you
(24:57):
get it.
Yeah.
You have to work for it.
That's true.
Yeah.
It's not going to be-- look, relationships are not easy.
Especially with--
For truth.
Yeah, especially when, you know, there's other things involved in everybody's trying to work
cohesively.
And yeah, it--
It was even harder because he was my caretaker.
(25:17):
Yeah.
It's tough.
It's tough.
But look, I mean, at this point, you're finding a way to rekindle connections, especially if
it's with-- with homeboy here who delivers soda.
I'd like that.
Hey, oh, ask him for a 12 pack.
If he hoops you up with a 12 pack, you're going to end up with a ring on that finger.
(25:39):
I'm just saying, if he gives you a 12 pack of soda and you give it to me, you'll end up
with a ring on that finger.
Might be from you.
Yeah.
I didn't say from who.
I just said, you'll end up with a ring on that finger.
I have done enough damage.
I have done enough damage with rings on my finger.
(26:01):
Thank you.
Well, but you're doing better than me because I've gotten to the point where I'm just going
to give up on finding anything here.
And that's part of the problem.
What do you mean?
I'm dumb.
Do I keep looking for something that makes me happy?
Me too, but that's not working out in my favor.
(26:21):
Bitch.
When was the last time you went out?
I can't go out anywhere.
I will take you.
I walked outside.
I will take you.
I checked the mail.
Let's go.
So, when do you want to get in the car?
Huh?
So, when do you want to get in the car?
Let's go.
When I want Chinese food?
Bitch, you haven't even done that in a minute.
I know.
(26:42):
I'm actually going to get my COVID and flu shot on Monday.
And yeah, oh my god, you want to take me?
You'll get Chinese afterwards.
Sure.
Unless you're working.
I don't like to work on Monday.
Perfect.
Because it's just chaotic.
(27:03):
Well, because my shots at the CVS at noon.
Okay.
And of course, ride diagonal from that is a Chinese plush.
Oh, god.
That sounds so good.
I don't know if I can hold out the whole weekend though.
That's my problem.
It's been forever, but you don't know if you can hold out for the weekend.
Oh, god, I know.
I know.
Just remember.
(27:24):
Just remember.
Because I think about it and it's getting me hyped up.
I only have a little bit of money.
So, we got to be strategic about this.
Why the buffet is the best?
Because you just pay one price and chomp it up.
Yeah.
So, I'm going to see you up before four.
I've only been eating like one mill a day.
So, it doesn't really help me all that much.
I bet it helps the toilet.
(27:45):
Less flushes.
You would think.
Yeah, you and I kind of have a sense of where.
You know, a lot of Jesus.
But yeah, so I was thinking about, oh, homeboy that I hooked up with.
Uh-huh.
How's he?
He hadn't talked.
We have.
Okay.
But not, it's partially my fault because he'll send like the first snap and stuff
(28:08):
like that.
Most of that I think is because he wants to keep his streaks up, whatever.
But I don't really indulge that.
Like I'm not kind of taking it in and playing into it and being like, oh, hey, you're such
cutie.
Like I was before we met.
And maybe that's my fault.
(28:29):
In fact, that probably is.
Do you think he's cute?
He's cute.
Do you think the pictures that he sends you are cute?
Yes.
They're misleading.
Oh.
I'm saying people are very good sometimes with the right camera angle.
See, yeah, I'm not.
(28:50):
I'm not if you.
I just have to take a million pictures and I'll find like three I like.
See, and I can't even do that.
I have to resort to AI.
I do.
I take every picture I take.
I upload it to an AI thing and I just have it redo me.
Like, just as long as you're getting done.
(29:10):
Exactly.
You throw me back in the womb, patch me up, move an ear around, you know, flex and eyebrow.
And then we're golden, you know, put me on a hot bod.
You know, that actually honestly, scarily, it's the new fishing.
I think that fishing, you know, because people can throw their stuff.
In fact, I think I put it on my LinkedIn profile.
(29:34):
I think I put one of me in a suit that's still, you know, representative of me, but not
just like, you know, perfect, you know, 30 inch waist slim, whatever.
You know, I put that on there and it does kind of look like me.
We'll see what people think, but I want to I want anybody in the previous industry I was
(29:58):
in that may come across that to be like, wow, after all that, he's thriving.
Oh, damn right, I am motherfucker.
But yeah, so I've kind of resorted to AI, eat my ass.
Now I have not, I have not put it, I don't like that being done to me.
I like doing it.
I don't like it being done to me.
See, I'm in the opposite.
(30:20):
You like it being done to you, but you don't like doing it.
You horror.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
Do you like second dick?
Do you like getting eaten out?
Yeah, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
And to be fair, I actually have a bit of a normal fixation.
Okay.
(30:41):
I want to talk about that real quick.
So you were saying that you, um, the way your eyes lit up scares me.
Yeah, this scares me too, because I'm trying to think of how to word it without sounding gross.
You said that you are kind of like a sprinkler system.
Oh, what you don't want to say it?
A rainbird.
Squirtle.
(31:03):
Have you ever been in the process of being eaten out and then you really?
Yes.
Tell me.
What did he do?
Well, it depends on which one.
Oh, I don't know.
What was the first time like, did you shoot in their eye?
What happened?
I just did it like, did you warn me?
(31:26):
Like, you know?
Okay.
So the first time number one, he already knew that I was a squirtle.
Oh, okay.
But, uh, it wasn't what he was doing.
It's what I had in my mind.
In your head.
Okay.
Hold on.
See, I still feel like I just totally choked you up on the take, take a squig there of your
(31:50):
aqua, your aqua, Fina.
Is that aqua Fina?
No, it's not.
It's great value.
Nope.
Is it great value?
Oh, damn it is.
See?
Is that mine?
Oh, as I say, yeah, it's great.
I'll get great value.
I often get the one from Brookshers.
Oh, okay.
So what did they say?
Okay.
(32:10):
The first one was like, did you leave with an eye patch?
Yeah.
You shot me.
I am.
The first one was just like, holy shit.
That's real.
Agreed, bro.
Same.
That's my thought.
The second one, that was his goal.
(32:32):
He won.
Okay.
High score.
How long did it take from start to, well, finish, I guess.
He was a metal guitarist, so not long.
Oh, I don't know if that has to do with it.
Because he was also fingering me.
Oh, okay.
So he had his mouth down there and he had the shocker going on.
No, no, no, no.
(32:53):
Two in the pink, one in the stain.
No.
Okay.
I don't know how you just follow in my hands.
I'm just thinking anyway.
Thinking of something.
No, no.
He was hitting my juice spot at the same time.
Okay.
So.
Yeah.
So as tongue was on your bean, he was in the same.
What did this do?
I just say it.
(33:16):
You know, okay.
So what I guess, okay.
Here's what I'm really getting at is.
What is the taste factor?
Just for me, it's just a light taste of what?
I don't really know how to tell salmon, albacore, what?
I don't know.
(33:37):
I don't know.
I'm asking.
No, it's like.
I don't know how to really describe it.
A hint of.
Okay.
Stay puse.
I like.
Why?
Why?
What is this?
Don't you have a good bonnet perfume?
(33:58):
What?
Mine's kind of sweet.
Okay.
Like pineapple sweet.
Really?
Yes, because I eat a lot of pineapple.
Okay.
So that affects females.
Just as guys with their stuff does as well.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
So mine.
Mine tends to be a bit sweet, but.
(34:20):
It's a very, very light flavor.
It's not really a flavor to itself, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.
They're.
Hmm.
I don't know how to describe it to someone who has never tried it.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
I'll work on this.
I will work on this.
I am waiting to hear, like, just just the overall.
(34:45):
Description.
The overall group of adjectives you're going to come up with.
Like, yeah.
I'm not going to try to sell it like a perfume.
No.
Oh, shucks.
I was hoping to walk in and get spritz.
I mean, actually, I honestly not in our really.
I'll put it in a little bottle and.
Like, yeah, no.
(35:06):
Oh, my God.
I bet there's people who do that.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
There.
There's got to be.
Oh.
Oh, this is awful.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I love when we gross each other out so much that we get excited and then we get grossed out.
I know.
(35:27):
Like, I'm grossing myself out just thinking about it.
Like, there's somebody out there who puts vaginal fluid inside of a bottle that they then
spritz on themselves.
Or are they?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
There was a trend a couple of years ago.
Oh, God.
And the women would dip into themselves and put it on their perfume, like where you put
(35:49):
perfume.
No.
I swear to God, you can find it on the tiki talks.
No.
Yes.
Are you serious?
Why would you do that?
I would not bullshit you over there.
Is it like, here's my brand.
Yes.
I'm like, bitch, you nasty.
Oh.
If you get to experience the grand prize, it's going to be all new for you, baby.
(36:13):
Yeah.
What if it's like a bottom feeder smell like you?
Oh, God.
Like crab or...
Oh, I have a video tape.
Her station.
No, I don't want to.
No, no, no, it's not bad.
But I'm already thinking of crawfish boil and that's what I'm smelling right now.
What the fuck?
I know.
Like, that's all I'm thinking.
(36:34):
Like, that's what...
You can smell it.
I've never...
Okay, number one.
I've never been to one.
Number two.
I'm terrified of crustaceans, though.
I'm like, and shrimp.
You don't eat shrimp?
No.
Really?
Fuck no.
I love shrimp.
No, I don't do crawfish, though.
Crawfish are gross.
It's all the same they're disgusting.
(36:56):
Well.
Terrify me.
Tomato tomato.
But I think that shrimp are fantastic.
If you devane those motherfuckers, speaking of crustaceans, there are a bunch in a baggie in
our fridge.
I'll be sure to let them say hi to you on the way out.
I will punch you.
I swear to God.
I am not a person of violence, but I will make an exception.
Oh, well, I just think that it was...
(37:18):
I was actually kind of shocked because when I opened up the fridge, they were staring at
me.
I know that's what I did.
And people were like, in the back, they were like, "Are you okay?"
It's like, "Yeah, I was just talking to Henry."
And seriously, Henry and his buddies were just staring right there through the baggie.
Yeah.
Well, that's disgusting.
(37:39):
I hope that that is not true about women taking their brand.
Oh, it's true.
Oh, God.
See, now that makes me question, every time I've smelled just this god-awful smell, were they
doing that?
That smell like dead fish.
Most people should not smell like dead fish.
(37:59):
Actually none of them should.
We live on the lake.
I know I've said this before, and we can easily smell dead fish.
It happens often.
Yes, all the time.
And I now am not sure if I'm smelling a woman or a dead fish.
Up.
I am a homosexual.
I'm just throwing that out.
I promise you.
Staying that way.
(38:20):
After those slums, I had dead fish.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
I'd rather keep it that way.
Anyway, moving on.
I don't know much more I could talk about that.
One thing that you brought up, and I don't know how we got onto this subject, but we were
talking about what happened on Memorial Day weekend.
And my brother came down.
(38:40):
My brother is, he's in the military.
So he's got this big man attitude.
He thinks he's the shit, whatever.
He's no longer active.
Yeah, he's not active.
He did retire.
(39:01):
Which is cool.
He put in a service.
We appreciate you, bro.
Thanks for everything you did.
But he's kind of gotten on this train of, well, I'm going to die soon.
I'm not going to be around much longer.
I don't really care how my life is going.
(39:21):
So I'm going to live it to the fullest.
Okay.
Scary.
Okay.
Um, he might want to see a therapist.
Yeah, no, he's not one of those guys.
He would, yeah, he's not one of those.
He will see the corner.
He will see the corner.
He's totally down to seeing the corner.
And so would that be instead, he was down from Memorial Day weekend, and he wanted to hang
(39:47):
out with me.
We don't see each other very often, let alone talk often because our beliefs politically
and probably mostly politically are just on total obscenes of the spectrum.
But for him, it's everyday life.
Everyday.
In fact, he, if he knew that I would engage in the conversation with him, he would call
me daily just to talk about what's going on in politics.
(40:09):
And I can't, I mentally cannot do that.
Yeah.
I am emotionally exhausted from that alone.
Yeah.
And so, you know, that's just how he is.
Okay, well, cool, whatever, you know, love you, bro, but I'm not going to do that because
it just creates a fight.
But with him being down, I wanted to put all that to the side.
(40:31):
And I told him, I was like, yeah, let's hang out.
I just don't want to do anything.
Like, I don't want to have any conversation like that.
So when he was down, apparently he had just been, and apparently, supposedly this has
been going on for a long time.
He's always been a drinker, but it was really bad that weekend.
(40:52):
I guess because he was also not taking his meds and he probably should have been taking
his meds.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And those aren't interchangeable.
No, well, especially when you just stop taking a med that messes with your brain and then
you start drinking instead.
And alcohol is a bit present, folks.
(41:14):
Alcohol is a depressant.
Yeah.
And just it's like, you're hitting the stop sign, baby.
It is no bueno.
And so anyway, this is what we did.
He wanted, he has this badass $100,000 hellcat.
Fuck.
Okay.
Dope.
He doesn't let anybody drive it.
(41:35):
He said I could drive it.
I about shit down both legs.
Because I knew this is where he was in this process.
Like in his head, he was already gone.
He was like mentally, he was checked out.
He was just like, well, you know, okay, let's go, let's go, let's go drive it.
Won't you drive it?
Won't you just go as fast as you can?
(41:57):
And I'm already freaking out because I'm very, you know, when it comes to driving, yeah,
I may go like five, 10 mile per hour over the speed limit, whatever.
Yeah, but you're not a led foot.
I don't speed on purpose to the point that a hellcat goes, especially.
But especially on a holiday weekend on a highway where there are, I'm sure state troopers
(42:21):
all around that they probably saw the car and we're just like, fuck you, we're not even
going to drive, you know.
So he was just like, hey, let's, let's go.
Won't you test it out?
He put suicide doors on this fucking car.
Okay.
Number one, that's awesome.
It does look cool.
Number two, I need to see this.
(42:42):
Yeah, he, yeah, he puts suicide doors on this damn car.
But you know, whatever, you know, it's his thing.
It's his car.
I was just shocked.
He let me drive it.
So fills it up with gas.
Of course, hellcat again, takes premium.
It was over a hundred bucks to fill it up.
Yeah.
So we fill it up.
(43:03):
We get it on the highway and he tells me to floor it.
And at this point, I'm looking around.
I'm still hesitant like I'm just barely gasping in.
You hear it rev up and then back off and rev because I'm just, I'm not, I can't convince
myself to do it because in my head after working for 911 and all the calls that I've received,
(43:27):
also those images.
Also when mom was on the donor or not donor list, when she was on the transplant list,
we waited for holidays.
It's weird.
Oh yeah.
But that's when it happens.
That's when you get an influx.
I see.
And that's something too that kind of puts a different light on it because you don't think about
(43:49):
those things out other than that.
And so, so yeah, I mean, yeah, it was, it was crazy.
So I was just still trying to convince myself to do it.
So I put the gas all the way down.
I just nail it.
The tires are spinning.
They're out here on the main highway that goes from Athens up north and I'm just breathed
(44:18):
like we're going.
And I'm seeing we get up to 60 to 70 to 80 to 120, 150, 160.
And at that point, we're going so fast.
I'm not even sure if the tires are on the pavement.
(44:39):
I because worse, it's so smooth like we're just, it's just, it's just, if you hit a, a
pothole, your dead, pothole dead, a pebble.
We're probably fucking dead and we're, we're going so fast and he is still over there.
Come on, Bob, faster, faster.
He is begging me to just hit the pedal and keep going faster, faster.
(45:01):
And in my head, it's, it's, it's so surreal because I'm seeing everything just like flying
by, you know, and it's, it's hard for me to kind of take in because I'm still trying to
convince myself.
It gets to a point to where I think we could have probably gone back in time because I'm
pretty sure we, the flux capacitor was in this thing and dog brown would have been very
(45:27):
proud wherever he is.
And probably should have brick himself because we were going so fast.
It didn't feel real.
But I remember when we were going that fast and I got it faster and he's ever gone in that
car and that tells you something.
I think the fast, he's one is like 150 or so, but I, and he's got a death wish and he's,
(45:50):
yeah, he's got a death wish and a death card, you know, a death ride, you know, to do it
in, but a figure day for going to go out and go out and the hell cat.
We're out here by the cemetery.
We come on.
What are we waiting for?
We're going to make some beautiful glitter.
Something like that's going to be sparks and everything flying.
So, so yeah, we do that and we get up there and then at that point, I'm just backing off.
(46:14):
I'm just letting it go.
We're slowing down finally and I'm just like, oh my god.
My hair, I feel was like just pushed back like my eyebrows are stuck to the top of my
head.
Um, yeah, it was, it was kind of surreal.
So after that moment, he was then like, well, and he's still drinking and shit.
(46:35):
That's the other thing too.
Fucking, he bought a case of beer that's in the fucking car.
Opened up.
Okay.
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
So he's just standing drinking.
He's like, oh yeah.
Next one.
Hit it, Bob.
Absolutely.
And I should have known it was going to turn out this way because he got into a fight with
the guy in the fucking store because he walked in without a t-shirt on here and he was just
(47:00):
like, you know how many fucking red necks there are and I'm like, oh my god.
Bubba shut the hell up.
Let's just come on.
Let's just go.
Let's just go.
There's plenty other.
So anyway, he finally got his fucking shit.
Obviously, but he's drinking it in the fucking car.
Fucking 24 pound.
Hell, I don't know.
Big old case of beers opened up, open coolers, all that shit, whatever.
(47:25):
So we go out to the cemetery to see our grandfather's grave.
So we get out there.
What does he do?
He opens one up, cracks one up and he pours it out on the grave.
Yeah.
Pours one out for us, huh?
Yeah.
This for you, Bubba.
This for you.
And I'm like, I don't mind you.
(47:45):
This is really happening right now.
So we're out there.
It's completely dark.
It's like shit.
Damn near midnight, I think.
It probably is midnight.
And then he looks up in the sky and he starts pointing out he's like, Bubba, you think that's
a UFO?
I'm like, oh, god.
No, it's a plane.
(48:06):
He's like, how do you know that?
How do you know that?
And I'm like, he's borderline QAnon nut.
Okay.
Borderline there.
Now when it comes to UFOs, I totally believe in that shit.
Yeah.
It's definitely, I don't think as it's not like, you know, 90% of the cases are UFOs of strange
(48:30):
things in the air.
I think it's probably more like 5% ish if anything, but, you know, not to where we could
be out in the middle of the night and just look up and then say that one's one.
That's all yes, you have.
But he's also seen being in the military.
He has heard things, seen things.
(48:51):
He's worked in places that have been very interesting.
There's no doubt in my mind.
He's definitely heard and seen so stuff.
Probably told me stuff.
He probably shouldn't have said, you know, but, um, point is, I don't think going out to
the cemetery.
I'm a more of a weekend, especially you're going to look up and just see, you know, not
some redneck shooting up fireworks or flying a drone or something.
(49:13):
But obviously it was a, it was a plane because you saw the blanket red and green lights on
each side.
What you obviously couldn't do, which you should have laced it, whatever.
Um, but yeah, so we did that anyway.
After all that, we lost the car.
We lost the car in the cemetery.
I had to go walking around for that.
Yeah.
(49:33):
Totally dark.
It was kind of weird.
We, he then all of a sudden we went on a ghost hunting trip and he's like trying to
find ghost out there.
And I'm like, no, Baba, that's, that's just the, the, see, there's line stone and it reflects
from the cars driving down.
And so because in my head, I'm trying to make sense of everything.
Yeah.
And, you know, he, whatever.
(49:54):
So anyway, we found the car.
And so we get in that.
We finally come back home.
But that was the, um, yeah, that, that was my memorial day, weekend.
That almost led to death, but it was, it was something.
It was something.
God.
I, I would have paid to see the look on your face when you were doing like 150, 160.
(50:17):
I, that was the fastest I've ever gone in my life.
I would, I would have paid.
Like I did 130 in my van.
Yeah, buddy.
What?
No, Benzy.
Yes.
Wow.
130.
One of my customers, like when I was bartending, he was like, he called me sunshine.
(50:42):
I called him princess.
And he's like, Hey, I'm in town.
Where are you at?
And I sent back, I'll be there soon.
And I had a picture of my speedometer with like 125 on it.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's dangerous for one that you took a picture going that fast.
Oh, yeah.
It was dumb.
(51:02):
Very dumb.
Oh my God.
But it was funny.
I just, that was, that was the moment of me.
Like, you know, people talk about your life flashing before your eyes.
That's what, that was probably that moment for me.
That's why I buy five-in-chills.
I was a very cute baby.
That's why you buy five-in-chills.
Yeah.
(51:23):
I didn't have any on, thankfully.
That probably would have led to my demise.
Do you, do you want to borrow some?
No, I'm Gucci.
Gucci.
I mean, think of what I did just barefoot trying to go to the restroom.
Yeah.
Well, that's why you're a pro, you know?
And you know how to work your nose.
I don't know how to work the steering wheel on a cargo in 160.
(51:44):
Especially, and I think what was more scary to me was if I got a scratch on it, what was
going to happen rather than me going too fast.
Yeah.
He already thought, like he was, he found a scratch on his rim and he thought I did it.
And I'm like, no, I was super, super fucking careful.
In fact, you probably did it your damn self.
No one will blame me.
(52:06):
And then after he sober's up, he has the balls to say to me, bobo, I can't believe I let
you drive my car.
I'm like, what?
Are you kidding me?
Shut up.
We alone.
Oh, fuck.
I just love the fact that like you were going so fast.
If someone steps out in front of you, they're gone.
Oh, they're obliterated.
(52:27):
Blown up.
But he's like, did you scratch this?
Yeah.
That was his biggest concern with that whole situation, not the fact that he had beer in
the car, an open container that he was getting into arguments with redneck clerks.
It was the fact that he got a scratch on his rim.
(52:47):
Oh, this rim.
So there you go.
All right.
Well, that was a wrap of my moral day weekend.
We're several months late on that, but thanks for bringing that up.
Okay.
So I didn't have a fancy, dancing memorial day weekend, but everybody I've talked to has had
a shitty story from this memorial day.
(53:07):
So I was like, hey, you know what?
Then I'm glad that I can have company because I was, I was, man, it was something else.
It was something else.
I don't have a forget about it.
I was with my ex.
So does that count?
Looking back on it now, yeah.
Okay.
You just got to take it and stride.
Maybe taking it stride.
All right.
Cool.
We definitely appreciate you listening to the show.
(53:29):
Don't forget, head on over to, uh, well, wherever you get your podcast and leave us a five-star
review.
I love a little comment.
A little, I don't know anything.
Anything at all.
Leave a comment.
Tell us how you're doing.
What your favorite color is.
What your favorite food is is more important.
Here we go.
There you go.
(53:50):
I was like, yeah, fuck the color.
What's the food?
What's the food?
I want to know about the color.
He wants to know about the food.
So if you tell us what your favorite color of your food is.
Yes.
Don't say do do green.
Or none of mine.
Did you ever do the green eggs and ham thing in school where they put food coloring on the
eggs and the ham?
No.
That screwed me up.
(54:10):
I, mm-hmm.
I am very particular.
You remember when they had that different colored catch up that purpline green?
Yes.
I couldn't do it.
My brain would not wrap around it.
Or like the pink and blue butter.
I could do easier than the other colored catch up.
I don't think I know that.
It was about the same time.
It was like parquet style.
(54:32):
Like the squeezy butter.
Look.
I used to make awesome grilled cheeses with it.
See, I just like, I don't know.
They say it's just food coloring.
There's no flavor to it, bullshit.
Yes, there is.
It'll screw me up, baby.
Screwed me up.
All right.
That'll do it for us.
We're going to check on out of here.
(54:53):
I was going to say, I was going to actually borrow what a Das Black says, like love Karesar
channel.
I can't do that.
He's too sweet.
So just like us love us, leave us a comment.
We appreciate you for that.
I'm Charlie.
I'm Thia.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(55:13):
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Bye.
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(55:34):
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(55:55):
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(56:16):
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(56:37):
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(56:58):
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[BLANK_AUDIO]
[Music]
(00:10):
Hello, welcome to the podcast and he's the chat. It is me.
Charlie.
I'm here.
How are you?
[Laughter]
I knew asking that was probably going to open up a whole, a can of worms, but...
Oh, yeah.
You know what? Hey, it's all good. You are here.
I am queer.
(00:31):
And we're back, baby. And we're going to talk about how...
Well, I guess the first thing we need to talk about is your health because it seems like
if you're not breaking your nose, then you're going all out with something else. So you
went to the ER. What is going on?
Everybody knows. She's kind of feeling, you know, you got the fibromyalgia.
(00:52):
Yeah.
Explain what that is for someone who doesn't know.
Very, very basic overview is chronic pain, chronic fatigue. There's a lot more with it.
It can go all throughout your entire system to play on different aspects. Like it can
make my hearing a little bit worse one day.
(01:12):
Fibromyalgia again?
Yes. It plays on every system.
That's so strange. What causes it?
They don't know. And it is a diagnosis of elimination. So it could honestly be something
that we just haven't really weeded down yet.
So...
(01:32):
It sounds like it's kind of something that they just... because they feel like they have to
give it a name. They just say, "All right, well, we went through eight things. It's not
that. You got to have fibromyalgia."
Yeah. A lot of times it is a catch-all. But yeah.
It's so weird. And they don't know what... Well, I guess they don't really know what it is.
(01:53):
They can't really say they know what causes it.
Yeah. And it's what's known as number one, an invisible illness, which we pretty much
now know what that is. If you don't, it's basically an illness you can't see. And ironically,
the...
What do they call the high blood pressure, the silent killer?
No, I don't think fibromyalgia is really that.
(02:15):
Right. Actually, that's why I went to the hospital was because my blood pressure is always steady.
But I was in so much pain that it sent my... It said I was in stage two hypertension.
What?
Yeah. That's why I went to the hospital.
Did you...
Do you have like a little blood pressure monitor cuff or...
No.
(02:35):
I remember I work in stores. So I...
Oh, you put your arm in the little thingy?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I'm not in handy, but here you go.
Dude, I felt terrible and I'm like, "What can I do? What can I do?"
So I'm drinking all the water that I can. I'm trying to do anything I know that can mitigate
(02:56):
this, but I still have to work. We're fabulous.
So I'm in store and I look at my friend who I met through the job. So I've known him
for a couple of months now and she just looks at me and then I look at the other one and
(03:16):
they go, "You good?"
And I'm like...
They just look at you like you're crazy.
Yeah.
And on the way to the ER I stopped at my sister's house. I'm like, "I know she has a different
kind of cuff. She has the one for her wrist or for your wrist."
Yeah.
So it's going to be less pain while I'm testing so it potentially could come back with
(03:40):
a lower blood pressure because of the pain.
Yeah.
And...
So you're saying that even if you were to do like the regular blood pressure cuff, just doing
the pressure alone would cause you pain?
I...yes. I have had times where I've frantically had to hit the stop button. I have actually had
one time where they actually had to pop the cuff.
(04:00):
Oh my God. See, I would have never have realized that it could get that bad.
My...
I am very sensitive to touch but I am very much a love bug and the pain that I get whenever
I hug somebody is outweighed by the affection.
(04:21):
So I make these decisions and if I ever turn a hug down, you know it's a bad day.
Gosh, that's crazy. I would have...
Isn't that what Lady Gaga has?
Yes.
Fiber of my Alja?
Yes.
Yeah, because I remember there was something going on where she was just like... people were
(04:42):
thinking, "Oh my God, did she just have surgery?"
Because she was walking real stiff and strange and...
And keep him...
Yeah, that's...
She has a massage therapist always with her 24/7.
Because of that issue?
So...then you have me.
We need to get you a massage therapist.
I mean, that's really it.
(05:02):
You know...
I think you need to let all your cats out at once and let them make biscuits on your...
If you could see my thighs.
It's like they're perforated.
They are just...
Oh.
Look like a little ping cushion.
Yes.
Jellybeam Baby has nothing in his head.
He has no understanding of, "Oh, this hurts you?"
(05:23):
And I'm like, "Yes, that's why I'm shouting."
Aww, poor kitty.
He's so sweet though.
I bet someone else who I'd like to make him a pin cushion.
Your old nuggy boy.
I'm so frustrated at him still.
So here's the thing, right?
So we were talking about him showing me...
I thought he was going to be on board with it the first time.
(05:45):
I wanted him to show me a picture of what he was working with.
Because obviously he's proud, right?
I mean, to some degrees, making you happy visually and...
I mean...
Well, remote, stimuli is the kind of the name of the game.
And so I was thinking that, "Okay, awesome.
He's going to go ahead.
He's going to show me this massive banana hammock meat chime thing."
(06:10):
Meat chimes.
Oh my God.
I think there's more for like a female who's been beaten up down there.
Meat chimes.
Oh, that's disgusting.
Wiz Finns?
Anybody.
I'm just coming up with these.
I'll top my head.
You're thinking of not chimes.
What is it?
Curtains.
(06:31):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Arby's roast beef, baby.
Still reminds me of that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I want Arby's right now.
Okay.
Number one, me too.
Number two.
You talking about the movement or you also want to sandwich?
I'm just asking.
Hey.
I want Arby's 24/7 bitch.
(06:52):
I actually have Arby sauce in my fridge.
I have a mini fridge.
So there's not a lot of room in there, but I have Arby sauce.
See, do they?
Like a bottle.
Yes.
Does they sell it at the store?
They don't.
Yeah, they sell it at Walmart.
Arby sauce?
Yes.
Wow.
Bet your ass.
It's amazing.
I'm going to have to get some.
Yes, you are.
And that sounds good.
(07:12):
So anyway, nugs.
So I was really pissed at him because she shows me.
And she shows me this picture that I thought was going to be his junk.
No, it was a junk meme.
It was literally a picture of a rooster.
Here's my cock, Charlie.
Look at my cock.
I was so pissed.
(07:32):
Yeah, but the aftermath and your response.
Yeah, well, I'm sure he was happy about that.
He got a reaction out of me and he didn't have to give anything up.
And what?
He fully intended on actually showing you the entire time.
Uh-huh.
Seriously?
Yeah.
(07:53):
Well, what are you waiting on?
Yeah, are you serious?
He was going to do it all time.
Yes.
Look, bitch.
I don't enjoy being played with with my emotions or my loins.
And you did.
Your points are very tender.
I have tenderloins, bitch.
I have tenderloins very much so.
(08:16):
Yeah, they may be like ham-hawks, but you know, I just, um, oh my.
May I borrow your phone for a moment?
It's a great photo, right?
It is beautiful.
Okay.
I did that.
I even like the dribble.
(08:36):
That is happening.
That's quite not.
Oh.
Did he just shoot a load?
On that towel?
Probably.
It's a perfect triangle.
Your geometry is on par, sir.
You shoot loads and teach geometry with them.
Oh, that's incredible.
(08:57):
Okay.
Props.
He made you see it now?
Yeah, see?
I give you props.
Nuggy boy.
Give you a prop.
You know what?
As a friend, I would give you a bro job.
I'm just saying I'd give him a bro job.
You know?
No kissing?
Just a little jigger jigger jigger.
You know, whatever.
I'm doing hand movement.
(09:21):
I'm glad we're doing a video.
This is too much.
Yeah.
So, but cool.
Well, thanks for.
Thank you, buddy.
Oh, pal, how old is he?
Uh, a bit older than us.
A bit.
Okay.
Hey, you know what?
I'm down with the brown.
Down with the brown.
What the fuck?
I don't know.
I was going to say down with the gray, but that didn't really rhyme well.
(09:42):
I'm assuming that he was that older, but whatever.
Well, good.
So have y'all video played?
Uh, like live like FaceTime type video.
Like we've talked to each other.
Yeah.
No, I'm talking about like, you know, in jerk and you, you know, pounding away at the
whistfin.
Or the, the beans names.
These names, we want to vomit.
(10:03):
Like, I have very little control over.
See now I'm curious what other people will use for their names of certain body parts,
you know?
I do not know, but I do have one that's funny.
Cause okay.
So you know a lot of gamers are like, T bag.
Oh, yeah.
Clamslam.
(10:24):
Oh, that's incredible.
Where'd you hear that?
Me.
Oh my god, the clam slam.
That's impressive.
I'm going to use that one by Nicki Minaj's Call of Duty character.
I'm going to clam slam somebody.
I, okay, when we used to have a lamb parties for Halo.
Yeah.
(10:44):
That's.
Oh, that's old school.
Yeah, buddy.
That's how long you've been using this.
Yes.
Man, now it's not original to me to somebody else probably.
So it's probably gotten around.
No, no, no, no, I did lamb parties.
So it's like only a couple of nerds that know.
Well, but they might have used it and then they, they who heard it might have used it.
Why would they use it?
I don't know.
(11:05):
Maybe their character was like Nicki Minaj.
Or, you know, I love my Nicki Minaj character.
Don't judge me.
I'm super proud about that.
Oh my god.
That's great.
Clam slam.
It makes me giggle every time.
Man, there's, there's my 15 year old cousin's going to shit a brick when he hears that.
(11:25):
Or another name that I like.
Oh god.
I don't use it personally.
What?
Cockpocket.
That's what you know, the notes you hit were so perfect.
Like it was just incredible.
(11:47):
That's why.
Cockpocket.
Oh my god.
That's great.
I love it.
The good old cockpockets.
Hell yeah.
Who needs, you know what?
You see my, my pocket pussy at the end of the show.
Is that where you came up with the cock pocket?
No.
I'm going to call it.
I'm going to get it by label maker and I'm going to put cock pocket on it.
(12:08):
Oh my god.
I almost bought a label maker today.
Almost huh?
Yeah, but when I went back forward, it was gone.
Oh someone else got it.
That's sad.
See, I absolutely love my label maker.
I was, I got it with the intention of being organized.
Now I find myself being less organized, but everything that I lose, I find has label.
(12:30):
It's always a plus sign, you know.
So once you find it, you know what's up.
Once I find it, I know what it is.
Absolutely.
But I was going to say I could put that on there.
But now my fear is, what if I die in a freak accident or something and my mom is going through
my shit and she just goes through.
I want to eat cat.
I don't know.
My mom doesn't sound like she's 90, but I will do my best to attain all of you.
(12:55):
Yeah, I need you to come over here and just clean up for me.
I will do my best.
And then, yeah, let her deal with all everything.
We're going to have to talk about where things are.
Hey, I will actually, as depressing as this sounds, I've got all my papers and stuff
ready to go.
Yeah.
In my file right here.
I'm not worried about that.
Okay.
(13:15):
We know where that is.
I need to know where the stuff I need to get out is.
Okay.
This hard drive.
This hard drive.
My phone.
I'm going to get it.
No, mainly my sex toys.
This is oddly enough the ones I don't use, but you know, I have them just in case for those
(13:38):
one off.
You have one of your bathroom sink.
Yeah, I do.
It was drying out.
Look, I didn't, and you know what?
The funny thing is what it's on.
Do you know what that is?
I didn't even look.
It's, it's, so with my little hot pot that I bought.
I came with an egg steamer.
(13:58):
I don't like eggs that are steamed.
So I'm using it as the drying rack.
Yeah.
I do remember seeing that.
I saw that last time and I was like, is it me?
Yeah.
Look, multipurpose items, you know.
It worked out pretty well.
It has like a little handle in the middle and I just put the little cox leave on it.
And just it drains.
It's like a little drain pan.
(14:20):
You just said that.
You said cox leave and oh, I talked to the ex and he was talking about it.
He's going to be talking about the chick.
He's banging.
Oh, does he have another one?
Oh, yeah.
What about the dude?
No, he's still.
Oh, he's banging both.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, he's banging three different ones.
(14:43):
That's just what I know about.
Does it bother you still at this point?
Somewhat, but not really because I know this is a he, him thing.
It's not anything to do with me.
Did you still hook up with him right now?
Fluck no.
Because of all the playing around.
Yeah.
Okay.
(15:04):
I don't trust him.
I don't trust that he has use protection.
Right.
He probably hasn't.
No, he probably hasn't.
But this fucking idiot, he's like, uh, I'm making sure to have sex with this girl because
she's like super fertile.
That's what you get when you're with the fucking baby.
So is he trying to get them pregnant?
(15:25):
He's like, I'm trying to have sex with her as far away from her period as possible.
And I go, you fucking idiot.
That's when she's ovulating.
Yeah.
Like that.
You want to do it closer to the period because.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
He is, uh, he needs to go back to that part that we learned in school.
He obviously skipped the course.
(15:47):
Yeah.
Well, all right.
So you would hook up with him.
Would you use protection if you did?
Well, no, I don't know if I would.
I honestly don't know hook up with him.
Period.
Yeah.
Would it be a mental thing like you're still kind of upset about everything going on or have
(16:08):
you kind of moved on from that in your in an area in your head where you're like, okay,
maybe I could hook up with you, but I need to find a way to separate.
I would need to heal first.
Number one.
And you haven't done that.
It's been short period of time.
And also I would need.
I would need protection.
I would not.
(16:30):
This man doesn't even know what size condom he wears.
I think there's only one size in its horse, right?
I mean, from what I've heard, I don't know.
Well, okay.
But you got to understand that magnums, they get the reputation for being the largest,
but they're actually not really.
Oh, yeah.
(16:51):
The directs double XL is both wider and longer.
And so is he a widen the longer?
Is he more of a long or more of a wide?
He needs a little bit of both.
He needs.
Oh, okay.
So he's the whole damn you hall.
I dig it.
Yeah.
Well, I'm still sad.
He's still got to deal with him.
(17:12):
I'm still sad that I haven't seen it.
Oh, he'll probably show you.
That's just kind of...
Yeah, but I wouldn't want to do that to you because if that would make you uncomfortable,
I wouldn't want my friend to be.
If you're more time to heal me.
Okay, I'll put it on my canode.
I'll put it on my calendar.
Yeah, I'm putting it on my calendar.
I'll hit you up around January.
(17:33):
Hey, listen.
You're over him yet because I can't wait to see that cat.
Man.
As long as it's not the seventh or the 20th.
This of January?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We got to keep it around birthday and then.
My birthday and then our anniversary.
Oh my God.
Let's roll back January then.
Let's try something.
Let's do a November.
(17:54):
Well, that's our dating anniversary.
That's what we're doing.
When did you get married?
August.
Oh God.
That just happened.
So he left right before our ninth anniversary.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Talk about a stab and twist.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
What a dick.
What a dick.
Hey, but this will be your opportunity to move on to maybe somebody who...
(18:15):
I don't know, deliver sodas for listening.
I'm just saying there is that guy, Mr. Koch Vinder guy.
We talked.
Okay.
So that was the thing last time is when we were doing the show, you were messaging him.
He was messaging back.
But did you go back and forth and actually talk?
Yeah.
And we even talked in person the other day.
(18:36):
Oh, so y'all talked in person since we recorded last time.
Since last show.
What's going on?
He actually has someone he is pursuing.
But were you one of them before?
Uh huh.
I told you.
Oh my God.
But I'm okay with that.
I'm really okay with that because number one, I still have a stigma about being with someone
(19:00):
who knew me before because I am not that same person.
And there has been so much trauma in between these two people that it's hard for me to reconcile.
But in all fairness.
He was never really in your circle in his school.
So he didn't really know you before.
(19:21):
It's not even about him knowing me.
That's the thing.
It's for me to reconcile.
It's not anything to do with him.
That's part of the reason I have stayed away from dating down here.
Okay.
That number related to half the fucking town.
I mean, I'm right there with you.
I just would rather go up somewhere else.
(19:43):
But I don't have the luxury of doing that anymore.
Oh, honey.
I know.
You and I need to make a Dallas trip.
I will.
I will be your Uber.
You want to be my Uber?
My sex Uber?
My super.
So are you all going to hang out like in person?
Like just be friends outside of work and coming across that way or?
Yeah.
(20:03):
And that was the thing.
He was like, look, I'm going to be blunt.
And I'm like, dude, blunt works best.
And I was like, I don't take any offense.
I want everybody to get laid.
And I was like, God, I love it.
And to be completely honest, I hope she is everything you want.
And I hope that I never get a chance because of it.
I hope that this is the perfect person for you.
(20:25):
And I mean that sincerely.
He said that?
I told him.
Oh, you said that to him.
I told him that in person.
Let me ask you this.
Yes.
Would you be cool if we could bring him on?
Really?
Why?
Why?
He is too innocent for our, our person.
(20:46):
No, no, no, no.
We wouldn't make it anything like that.
It would just be simple conversation.
I still wouldn't be comfortable with it just because I don't know him as well as I would
like to know him to do something like that.
Like if it were--
Well, I need you to get to know him and then get back to me because I have questions.
I am the most awkward person.
(21:07):
Oh, I know.
But it's okay because it sounds like he kind of is as well.
In fact, I think he kind of was in school.
Yeah.
And he does--
But he does not like texting.
He doesn't like messaging back and forth.
Oh, boy.
Same.
Fucking--
The same.
So it's like weird for me.
So I'm like, OK, I'll see you in person.
Peace.
(21:27):
You know what's crazy is that I kind of just don't like communication.
Period.
Like I just don't.
But yet, this is what you do.
But this is, yeah.
So this is-- here we are.
But this is OK.
It's really weird because I have to be in the mood in the moment.
Like does that make sense?
Like I want to be able to just get in, dive into whatever it is we're talking about, and then,
(21:48):
you know?
It's your anxiety.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it really is, actually.
Yeah, same.
Oh, god, anxiety.
So you're going to continue talking to him, hopefully build up on a friendship or build
more up on it.
Before me, it's better because I would prefer to be with the person I've been pursuing.
(22:09):
So.
So with your ex, how long were you two friends before, I guess, you've made it official?
Official.
Met him in August.
And then January 20th.
(22:29):
I didn't-- he didn't ask me out or anything. He introduced me as his girlfriend.
Really?
Yeah.
I was down with it, but--
What?
I hope so.
He came along with my sins.
Right.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's kind of cool, though, in a way.
Like for somebody to take that initiative, especially if you're feeling it, you know?
(22:51):
Oh, yeah.
And we were.
We were both feeling it.
But he just-- he was scared of taking that step.
I think just for me knowing him, the amount of time that I have and being around in my
sea where there's a lot of reservations in being forward.
(23:12):
That comes with communication, which is obviously an issue amongst other things.
But he can communicate with any fucking body else.
See?
That's the thing.
I'm getting information about what's wrong with our marriage from a chick overseas.
Oh, well, that's not Boy No.
No, not at all.
(23:33):
Oh my God.
What a--
And it wasn't even shit I was doing.
Some of it was, but I mean, like some of this was stuff that had nothing to do with me.
And he couldn't even talk to me.
And I'm like, well, hopefully you can--
Well, look, you're moving on from him.
(23:53):
Yeah.
So that's a good thing.
I do notice he comes over on occasion, but it's not like he stays forever, you know, y'all
are--
No.
He stays for a couple of hours and then--
Are you fine with being friends still or is that even still tough?
It's difficult, but this is something that I really want.
(24:15):
I want this.
Gotcha.
It's not for him.
It is for me.
And--
Is he okay with that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's totally on board because he's like, look, I still love you.
I'm going to punch you if he keeps saying that, you know that, right?
See, that to me would bother me if he kept saying that because it's almost like he's trying
to convince himself.
(24:36):
Yeah.
But like, why would you find the need to keep telling me that?
He still loves me.
He's just not in love with me.
And he doesn't know how to reconcile the fact that his marriage is ending in divorce.
He wanted to be the perfect husband, but just because you want something doesn't mean you
(24:57):
get it.
Yeah.
You have to work for it.
That's true.
Yeah.
It's not going to be-- look, relationships are not easy.
Especially with--
For truth.
Yeah, especially when, you know, there's other things involved in everybody's trying to work
cohesively.
And yeah, it--
It was even harder because he was my caretaker.
(25:17):
Yeah.
It's tough.
It's tough.
But look, I mean, at this point, you're finding a way to rekindle connections, especially if
it's with-- with homeboy here who delivers soda.
I'd like that.
Hey, oh, ask him for a 12 pack.
If he hoops you up with a 12 pack, you're going to end up with a ring on that finger.
(25:39):
I'm just saying, if he gives you a 12 pack of soda and you give it to me, you'll end up
with a ring on that finger.
Might be from you.
Yeah.
I didn't say from who.
I just said, you'll end up with a ring on that finger.
I have done enough damage.
I have done enough damage with rings on my finger.
(26:01):
Thank you.
Well, but you're doing better than me because I've gotten to the point where I'm just going
to give up on finding anything here.
And that's part of the problem.
What do you mean?
I'm dumb.
Do I keep looking for something that makes me happy?
Me too, but that's not working out in my favor.
(26:21):
Bitch.
When was the last time you went out?
I can't go out anywhere.
I will take you.
I walked outside.
I will take you.
I checked the mail.
Let's go.
So, when do you want to get in the car?
Huh?
So, when do you want to get in the car?
Let's go.
When I want Chinese food?
Bitch, you haven't even done that in a minute.
I know.
(26:42):
I'm actually going to get my COVID and flu shot on Monday.
And yeah, oh my god, you want to take me?
You'll get Chinese afterwards.
Sure.
Unless you're working.
I don't like to work on Monday.
Perfect.
Because it's just chaotic.
(27:03):
Well, because my shots at the CVS at noon.
Okay.
And of course, ride diagonal from that is a Chinese plush.
Oh, god.
That sounds so good.
I don't know if I can hold out the whole weekend though.
That's my problem.
It's been forever, but you don't know if you can hold out for the weekend.
Oh, god, I know.
I know.
Just remember.
(27:24):
Just remember.
Because I think about it and it's getting me hyped up.
I only have a little bit of money.
So, we got to be strategic about this.
Why the buffet is the best?
Because you just pay one price and chomp it up.
Yeah.
So, I'm going to see you up before four.
I've only been eating like one mill a day.
So, it doesn't really help me all that much.
I bet it helps the toilet.
(27:45):
Less flushes.
You would think.
Yeah, you and I kind of have a sense of where.
You know, a lot of Jesus.
But yeah, so I was thinking about, oh, homeboy that I hooked up with.
Uh-huh.
How's he?
He hadn't talked.
We have.
Okay.
But not, it's partially my fault because he'll send like the first snap and stuff
(28:08):
like that.
Most of that I think is because he wants to keep his streaks up, whatever.
But I don't really indulge that.
Like I'm not kind of taking it in and playing into it and being like, oh, hey, you're such
cutie.
Like I was before we met.
And maybe that's my fault.
(28:29):
In fact, that probably is.
Do you think he's cute?
He's cute.
Do you think the pictures that he sends you are cute?
Yes.
They're misleading.
Oh.
I'm saying people are very good sometimes with the right camera angle.
See, yeah, I'm not.
(28:50):
I'm not if you.
I just have to take a million pictures and I'll find like three I like.
See, and I can't even do that.
I have to resort to AI.
I do.
I take every picture I take.
I upload it to an AI thing and I just have it redo me.
Like, just as long as you're getting done.
(29:10):
Exactly.
You throw me back in the womb, patch me up, move an ear around, you know, flex and eyebrow.
And then we're golden, you know, put me on a hot bod.
You know, that actually honestly, scarily, it's the new fishing.
I think that fishing, you know, because people can throw their stuff.
In fact, I think I put it on my LinkedIn profile.
(29:34):
I think I put one of me in a suit that's still, you know, representative of me, but not
just like, you know, perfect, you know, 30 inch waist slim, whatever.
You know, I put that on there and it does kind of look like me.
We'll see what people think, but I want to I want anybody in the previous industry I was
(29:58):
in that may come across that to be like, wow, after all that, he's thriving.
Oh, damn right, I am motherfucker.
But yeah, so I've kind of resorted to AI, eat my ass.
Now I have not, I have not put it, I don't like that being done to me.
I like doing it.
I don't like it being done to me.
See, I'm in the opposite.
(30:20):
You like it being done to you, but you don't like doing it.
You horror.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
Do you like second dick?
Do you like getting eaten out?
Yeah, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
And to be fair, I actually have a bit of a normal fixation.
Okay.
(30:41):
I want to talk about that real quick.
So you were saying that you, um, the way your eyes lit up scares me.
Yeah, this scares me too, because I'm trying to think of how to word it without sounding gross.
You said that you are kind of like a sprinkler system.
Oh, what you don't want to say it?
A rainbird.
Squirtle.
(31:03):
Have you ever been in the process of being eaten out and then you really?
Yes.
Tell me.
What did he do?
Well, it depends on which one.
Oh, I don't know.
What was the first time like, did you shoot in their eye?
What happened?
I just did it like, did you warn me?
(31:26):
Like, you know?
Okay.
So the first time number one, he already knew that I was a squirtle.
Oh, okay.
But, uh, it wasn't what he was doing.
It's what I had in my mind.
In your head.
Okay.
Hold on.
See, I still feel like I just totally choked you up on the take, take a squig there of your
(31:50):
aqua, your aqua, Fina.
Is that aqua Fina?
No, it's not.
It's great value.
Nope.
Is it great value?
Oh, damn it is.
See?
Is that mine?
Oh, as I say, yeah, it's great.
I'll get great value.
I often get the one from Brookshers.
Oh, okay.
So what did they say?
Okay.
(32:10):
The first one was like, did you leave with an eye patch?
Yeah.
You shot me.
I am.
The first one was just like, holy shit.
That's real.
Agreed, bro.
Same.
That's my thought.
The second one, that was his goal.
(32:32):
He won.
Okay.
High score.
How long did it take from start to, well, finish, I guess.
He was a metal guitarist, so not long.
Oh, I don't know if that has to do with it.
Because he was also fingering me.
Oh, okay.
So he had his mouth down there and he had the shocker going on.
No, no, no, no.
(32:53):
Two in the pink, one in the stain.
No.
Okay.
I don't know how you just follow in my hands.
I'm just thinking anyway.
Thinking of something.
No, no.
He was hitting my juice spot at the same time.
Okay.
So.
Yeah.
So as tongue was on your bean, he was in the same.
What did this do?
I just say it.
(33:16):
You know, okay.
So what I guess, okay.
Here's what I'm really getting at is.
What is the taste factor?
Just for me, it's just a light taste of what?
I don't really know how to tell salmon, albacore, what?
I don't know.
(33:37):
I don't know.
I'm asking.
No, it's like.
I don't know how to really describe it.
A hint of.
Okay.
Stay puse.
I like.
Why?
Why?
What is this?
Don't you have a good bonnet perfume?
(33:58):
What?
Mine's kind of sweet.
Okay.
Like pineapple sweet.
Really?
Yes, because I eat a lot of pineapple.
Okay.
So that affects females.
Just as guys with their stuff does as well.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
So mine.
Mine tends to be a bit sweet, but.
(34:20):
It's a very, very light flavor.
It's not really a flavor to itself, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.
They're.
Hmm.
I don't know how to describe it to someone who has never tried it.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
I'll work on this.
I will work on this.
I am waiting to hear, like, just just the overall.
(34:45):
Description.
The overall group of adjectives you're going to come up with.
Like, yeah.
I'm not going to try to sell it like a perfume.
No.
Oh, shucks.
I was hoping to walk in and get spritz.
I mean, actually, I honestly not in our really.
I'll put it in a little bottle and.
Like, yeah, no.
(35:06):
Oh, my God.
I bet there's people who do that.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
There.
There's got to be.
Oh.
Oh, this is awful.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I love when we gross each other out so much that we get excited and then we get grossed out.
I know.
(35:27):
Like, I'm grossing myself out just thinking about it.
Like, there's somebody out there who puts vaginal fluid inside of a bottle that they then
spritz on themselves.
Or are they?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
There was a trend a couple of years ago.
Oh, God.
And the women would dip into themselves and put it on their perfume, like where you put
(35:49):
perfume.
No.
I swear to God, you can find it on the tiki talks.
No.
Yes.
Are you serious?
Why would you do that?
I would not bullshit you over there.
Is it like, here's my brand.
Yes.
I'm like, bitch, you nasty.
Oh.
If you get to experience the grand prize, it's going to be all new for you, baby.
(36:13):
Yeah.
What if it's like a bottom feeder smell like you?
Oh, God.
Like crab or...
Oh, I have a video tape.
Her station.
No, I don't want to.
No, no, no, it's not bad.
But I'm already thinking of crawfish boil and that's what I'm smelling right now.
What the fuck?
I know.
Like, that's all I'm thinking.
(36:34):
Like, that's what...
You can smell it.
I've never...
Okay, number one.
I've never been to one.
Number two.
I'm terrified of crustaceans, though.
I'm like, and shrimp.
You don't eat shrimp?
No.
Really?
Fuck no.
I love shrimp.
No, I don't do crawfish, though.
Crawfish are gross.
It's all the same they're disgusting.
(36:56):
Well.
Terrify me.
Tomato tomato.
But I think that shrimp are fantastic.
If you devane those motherfuckers, speaking of crustaceans, there are a bunch in a baggie in
our fridge.
I'll be sure to let them say hi to you on the way out.
I will punch you.
I swear to God.
I am not a person of violence, but I will make an exception.
Oh, well, I just think that it was...
(37:18):
I was actually kind of shocked because when I opened up the fridge, they were staring at
me.
I know that's what I did.
And people were like, in the back, they were like, "Are you okay?"
It's like, "Yeah, I was just talking to Henry."
And seriously, Henry and his buddies were just staring right there through the baggie.
Yeah.
Well, that's disgusting.
(37:39):
I hope that that is not true about women taking their brand.
Oh, it's true.
Oh, God.
See, now that makes me question, every time I've smelled just this god-awful smell, were they
doing that?
That smell like dead fish.
Most people should not smell like dead fish.
(37:59):
Actually none of them should.
We live on the lake.
I know I've said this before, and we can easily smell dead fish.
It happens often.
Yes, all the time.
And I now am not sure if I'm smelling a woman or a dead fish.
Up.
I am a homosexual.
I'm just throwing that out.
I promise you.
Staying that way.
(38:20):
After those slums, I had dead fish.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
I'd rather keep it that way.
Anyway, moving on.
I don't know much more I could talk about that.
One thing that you brought up, and I don't know how we got onto this subject, but we were
talking about what happened on Memorial Day weekend.
And my brother came down.
(38:40):
My brother is, he's in the military.
So he's got this big man attitude.
He thinks he's the shit, whatever.
He's no longer active.
Yeah, he's not active.
He did retire.
(39:01):
Which is cool.
He put in a service.
We appreciate you, bro.
Thanks for everything you did.
But he's kind of gotten on this train of, well, I'm going to die soon.
I'm not going to be around much longer.
I don't really care how my life is going.
(39:21):
So I'm going to live it to the fullest.
Okay.
Scary.
Okay.
Um, he might want to see a therapist.
Yeah, no, he's not one of those guys.
He would, yeah, he's not one of those.
He will see the corner.
He will see the corner.
He's totally down to seeing the corner.
And so would that be instead, he was down from Memorial Day weekend, and he wanted to hang
(39:47):
out with me.
We don't see each other very often, let alone talk often because our beliefs politically
and probably mostly politically are just on total obscenes of the spectrum.
But for him, it's everyday life.
Everyday.
In fact, he, if he knew that I would engage in the conversation with him, he would call
me daily just to talk about what's going on in politics.
(40:09):
And I can't, I mentally cannot do that.
Yeah.
I am emotionally exhausted from that alone.
Yeah.
And so, you know, that's just how he is.
Okay, well, cool, whatever, you know, love you, bro, but I'm not going to do that because
it just creates a fight.
But with him being down, I wanted to put all that to the side.
(40:31):
And I told him, I was like, yeah, let's hang out.
I just don't want to do anything.
Like, I don't want to have any conversation like that.
So when he was down, apparently he had just been, and apparently, supposedly this has
been going on for a long time.
He's always been a drinker, but it was really bad that weekend.
(40:52):
I guess because he was also not taking his meds and he probably should have been taking
his meds.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And those aren't interchangeable.
No, well, especially when you just stop taking a med that messes with your brain and then
you start drinking instead.
And alcohol is a bit present, folks.
(41:14):
Alcohol is a depressant.
Yeah.
And just it's like, you're hitting the stop sign, baby.
It is no bueno.
And so anyway, this is what we did.
He wanted, he has this badass $100,000 hellcat.
Fuck.
Okay.
Dope.
He doesn't let anybody drive it.
(41:35):
He said I could drive it.
I about shit down both legs.
Because I knew this is where he was in this process.
Like in his head, he was already gone.
He was like mentally, he was checked out.
He was just like, well, you know, okay, let's go, let's go, let's go drive it.
Won't you drive it?
Won't you just go as fast as you can?
(41:57):
And I'm already freaking out because I'm very, you know, when it comes to driving, yeah,
I may go like five, 10 mile per hour over the speed limit, whatever.
Yeah, but you're not a led foot.
I don't speed on purpose to the point that a hellcat goes, especially.
But especially on a holiday weekend on a highway where there are, I'm sure state troopers
(42:21):
all around that they probably saw the car and we're just like, fuck you, we're not even
going to drive, you know.
So he was just like, hey, let's, let's go.
Won't you test it out?
He put suicide doors on this fucking car.
Okay.
Number one, that's awesome.
It does look cool.
Number two, I need to see this.
(42:42):
Yeah, he, yeah, he puts suicide doors on this damn car.
But you know, whatever, you know, it's his thing.
It's his car.
I was just shocked.
He let me drive it.
So fills it up with gas.
Of course, hellcat again, takes premium.
It was over a hundred bucks to fill it up.
Yeah.
So we fill it up.
(43:03):
We get it on the highway and he tells me to floor it.
And at this point, I'm looking around.
I'm still hesitant like I'm just barely gasping in.
You hear it rev up and then back off and rev because I'm just, I'm not, I can't convince
myself to do it because in my head after working for 911 and all the calls that I've received,
(43:27):
also those images.
Also when mom was on the donor or not donor list, when she was on the transplant list,
we waited for holidays.
It's weird.
Oh yeah.
But that's when it happens.
That's when you get an influx.
I see.
And that's something too that kind of puts a different light on it because you don't think about
(43:49):
those things out other than that.
And so, so yeah, I mean, yeah, it was, it was crazy.
So I was just still trying to convince myself to do it.
So I put the gas all the way down.
I just nail it.
The tires are spinning.
They're out here on the main highway that goes from Athens up north and I'm just breathed
(44:18):
like we're going.
And I'm seeing we get up to 60 to 70 to 80 to 120, 150, 160.
And at that point, we're going so fast.
I'm not even sure if the tires are on the pavement.
(44:39):
I because worse, it's so smooth like we're just, it's just, it's just, if you hit a, a
pothole, your dead, pothole dead, a pebble.
We're probably fucking dead and we're, we're going so fast and he is still over there.
Come on, Bob, faster, faster.
He is begging me to just hit the pedal and keep going faster, faster.
(45:01):
And in my head, it's, it's, it's so surreal because I'm seeing everything just like flying
by, you know, and it's, it's hard for me to kind of take in because I'm still trying to
convince myself.
It gets to a point to where I think we could have probably gone back in time because I'm
pretty sure we, the flux capacitor was in this thing and dog brown would have been very
(45:27):
proud wherever he is.
And probably should have brick himself because we were going so fast.
It didn't feel real.
But I remember when we were going that fast and I got it faster and he's ever gone in that
car and that tells you something.
I think the fast, he's one is like 150 or so, but I, and he's got a death wish and he's,
(45:50):
yeah, he's got a death wish and a death card, you know, a death ride, you know, to do it
in, but a figure day for going to go out and go out and the hell cat.
We're out here by the cemetery.
We come on.
What are we waiting for?
We're going to make some beautiful glitter.
Something like that's going to be sparks and everything flying.
So, so yeah, we do that and we get up there and then at that point, I'm just backing off.
(46:14):
I'm just letting it go.
We're slowing down finally and I'm just like, oh my god.
My hair, I feel was like just pushed back like my eyebrows are stuck to the top of my
head.
Um, yeah, it was, it was kind of surreal.
So after that moment, he was then like, well, and he's still drinking and shit.
(46:35):
That's the other thing too.
Fucking, he bought a case of beer that's in the fucking car.
Opened up.
Okay.
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
So he's just standing drinking.
He's like, oh yeah.
Next one.
Hit it, Bob.
Absolutely.
And I should have known it was going to turn out this way because he got into a fight with
the guy in the fucking store because he walked in without a t-shirt on here and he was just
(47:00):
like, you know how many fucking red necks there are and I'm like, oh my god.
Bubba shut the hell up.
Let's just come on.
Let's just go.
Let's just go.
There's plenty other.
So anyway, he finally got his fucking shit.
Obviously, but he's drinking it in the fucking car.
Fucking 24 pound.
Hell, I don't know.
Big old case of beers opened up, open coolers, all that shit, whatever.
(47:25):
So we go out to the cemetery to see our grandfather's grave.
So we get out there.
What does he do?
He opens one up, cracks one up and he pours it out on the grave.
Yeah.
Pours one out for us, huh?
Yeah.
This for you, Bubba.
This for you.
And I'm like, I don't mind you.
(47:45):
This is really happening right now.
So we're out there.
It's completely dark.
It's like shit.
Damn near midnight, I think.
It probably is midnight.
And then he looks up in the sky and he starts pointing out he's like, Bubba, you think that's
a UFO?
I'm like, oh, god.
No, it's a plane.
(48:06):
He's like, how do you know that?
How do you know that?
And I'm like, he's borderline QAnon nut.
Okay.
Borderline there.
Now when it comes to UFOs, I totally believe in that shit.
Yeah.
It's definitely, I don't think as it's not like, you know, 90% of the cases are UFOs of strange
(48:30):
things in the air.
I think it's probably more like 5% ish if anything, but, you know, not to where we could
be out in the middle of the night and just look up and then say that one's one.
That's all yes, you have.
But he's also seen being in the military.
He has heard things, seen things.
(48:51):
He's worked in places that have been very interesting.
There's no doubt in my mind.
He's definitely heard and seen so stuff.
Probably told me stuff.
He probably shouldn't have said, you know, but, um, point is, I don't think going out to
the cemetery.
I'm a more of a weekend, especially you're going to look up and just see, you know, not
some redneck shooting up fireworks or flying a drone or something.
(49:13):
But obviously it was a, it was a plane because you saw the blanket red and green lights on
each side.
What you obviously couldn't do, which you should have laced it, whatever.
Um, but yeah, so we did that anyway.
After all that, we lost the car.
We lost the car in the cemetery.
I had to go walking around for that.
Yeah.
(49:33):
Totally dark.
It was kind of weird.
We, he then all of a sudden we went on a ghost hunting trip and he's like trying to
find ghost out there.
And I'm like, no, Baba, that's, that's just the, the, see, there's line stone and it reflects
from the cars driving down.
And so because in my head, I'm trying to make sense of everything.
Yeah.
And, you know, he, whatever.
(49:54):
So anyway, we found the car.
And so we get in that.
We finally come back home.
But that was the, um, yeah, that, that was my memorial day, weekend.
That almost led to death, but it was, it was something.
It was something.
God.
I, I would have paid to see the look on your face when you were doing like 150, 160.
(50:17):
I, that was the fastest I've ever gone in my life.
I would, I would have paid.
Like I did 130 in my van.
Yeah, buddy.
What?
No, Benzy.
Yes.
Wow.
130.
One of my customers, like when I was bartending, he was like, he called me sunshine.
(50:42):
I called him princess.
And he's like, Hey, I'm in town.
Where are you at?
And I sent back, I'll be there soon.
And I had a picture of my speedometer with like 125 on it.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's dangerous for one that you took a picture going that fast.
Oh, yeah.
It was dumb.
(51:02):
Very dumb.
Oh my God.
But it was funny.
I just, that was, that was the moment of me.
Like, you know, people talk about your life flashing before your eyes.
That's what, that was probably that moment for me.
That's why I buy five-in-chills.
I was a very cute baby.
That's why you buy five-in-chills.
Yeah.
(51:23):
I didn't have any on, thankfully.
That probably would have led to my demise.
Do you, do you want to borrow some?
No, I'm Gucci.
Gucci.
I mean, think of what I did just barefoot trying to go to the restroom.
Yeah.
Well, that's why you're a pro, you know?
And you know how to work your nose.
I don't know how to work the steering wheel on a cargo in 160.
(51:44):
Especially, and I think what was more scary to me was if I got a scratch on it, what was
going to happen rather than me going too fast.
Yeah.
He already thought, like he was, he found a scratch on his rim and he thought I did it.
And I'm like, no, I was super, super fucking careful.
In fact, you probably did it your damn self.
No one will blame me.
(52:06):
And then after he sober's up, he has the balls to say to me, bobo, I can't believe I let
you drive my car.
I'm like, what?
Are you kidding me?
Shut up.
We alone.
Oh, fuck.
I just love the fact that like you were going so fast.
If someone steps out in front of you, they're gone.
Oh, they're obliterated.
(52:27):
Blown up.
But he's like, did you scratch this?
Yeah.
That was his biggest concern with that whole situation, not the fact that he had beer in
the car, an open container that he was getting into arguments with redneck clerks.
It was the fact that he got a scratch on his rim.
(52:47):
Oh, this rim.
So there you go.
All right.
Well, that was a wrap of my moral day weekend.
We're several months late on that, but thanks for bringing that up.
Okay.
So I didn't have a fancy, dancing memorial day weekend, but everybody I've talked to has had
a shitty story from this memorial day.
(53:07):
So I was like, hey, you know what?
Then I'm glad that I can have company because I was, I was, man, it was something else.
It was something else.
I don't have a forget about it.
I was with my ex.
So does that count?
Looking back on it now, yeah.
Okay.
You just got to take it and stride.
Maybe taking it stride.
All right.
Cool.
We definitely appreciate you listening to the show.
(53:29):
Don't forget, head on over to, uh, well, wherever you get your podcast and leave us a five-star
review.
I love a little comment.
A little, I don't know anything.
Anything at all.
Leave a comment.
Tell us how you're doing.
What your favorite color is.
What your favorite food is is more important.
Here we go.
There you go.
(53:50):
I was like, yeah, fuck the color.
What's the food?
What's the food?
I want to know about the color.
He wants to know about the food.
So if you tell us what your favorite color of your food is.
Yes.
Don't say do do green.
Or none of mine.
Did you ever do the green eggs and ham thing in school where they put food coloring on the
eggs and the ham?
No.
That screwed me up.
(54:10):
I, mm-hmm.
I am very particular.
You remember when they had that different colored catch up that purpline green?
Yes.
I couldn't do it.
My brain would not wrap around it.
Or like the pink and blue butter.
I could do easier than the other colored catch up.
I don't think I know that.
It was about the same time.
It was like parquet style.
(54:32):
Like the squeezy butter.
Look.
I used to make awesome grilled cheeses with it.
See, I just like, I don't know.
They say it's just food coloring.
There's no flavor to it, bullshit.
Yes, there is.
It'll screw me up, baby.
Screwed me up.
All right.
That'll do it for us.
We're going to check on out of here.
(54:53):
I was going to say, I was going to actually borrow what a Das Black says, like love Karesar
channel.
I can't do that.
He's too sweet.
So just like us love us, leave us a comment.
We appreciate you for that.
I'm Charlie.
I'm Thia.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(55:13):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(55:34):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(55:55):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(56:16):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(56:37):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
(56:58):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
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