October 7, 2023 • 57 mins
🎙️ **Episode 9: The Medical Maze and Matters of the Heart** 🎙️
In this rollercoaster of an episode, Charlie and Thea dive deep into the labyrinth of medical diagnoses and the chaos that is modern dating.
👨⚕️ **Charlie's Medical Journey**: Confused by conflicting medical opinions? So is Charlie. Tune in to hear about his quest for a proper diagnosis. From Chron's to...something else? The doctors can't seem to agree, and one of them seriously needs a lesson in bedside manners.
💔 **Thea's Love Life**: Thea gives us an update on her complicated relationship status. Who holds the key to her heart from around the world? And what's the latest with her ex-husband?
🎮 **Special Guest - Banshee Dragon AKA Ethan Moore**: One of Charlie's Xbox buddies joins the show to talk about love, life, and his unique job. Ever wondered what it's like to work with adults who are mentally and physically disabled? Or those who are just, well, lazy? Ethan spills the tea.
Don't miss this episode packed with emotion, humor, and real talk. Subscribe now and join us for a conversation you won't forget!
In this rollercoaster of an episode, Charlie and Thea dive deep into the labyrinth of medical diagnoses and the chaos that is modern dating.
👨⚕️ **Charlie's Medical Journey**: Confused by conflicting medical opinions? So is Charlie. Tune in to hear about his quest for a proper diagnosis. From Chron's to...something else? The doctors can't seem to agree, and one of them seriously needs a lesson in bedside manners.
💔 **Thea's Love Life**: Thea gives us an update on her complicated relationship status. Who holds the key to her heart from around the world? And what's the latest with her ex-husband?
🎮 **Special Guest - Banshee Dragon AKA Ethan Moore**: One of Charlie's Xbox buddies joins the show to talk about love, life, and his unique job. Ever wondered what it's like to work with adults who are mentally and physically disabled? Or those who are just, well, lazy? Ethan spills the tea.
Don't miss this episode packed with emotion, humor, and real talk. Subscribe now and join us for a conversation you won't forget!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Music]
(00:07):
Hey everybody, it is the Chad. Welcome back. We're here.
And we took a little, I'll call it a content break.
Because, you know, why not have a content break? I'm Charlie, by the way.
I'm Theo.
And a content break is something where we take a break and hope...
Shit happens that we can talk about to have content.
Oh, there was a lot of shit that happened. I just...
(00:29):
Really?
Yes.
Oh, well, let's get in to it. Hello everybody. So, yeah, it's been kind of a crazy...
It's been a week, two weeks, something like that.
I think it's been two.
This would be, yeah, so second week, yeah. So, yeah, it's been kind of crazy, but not too bad.
(00:49):
So...
Bite me. I put a thousand miles on my car.
Holy crap, a thousand?
A thousand.
Seriously?
And some change, yes.
Where are you going?
I'm going to...
It was nowhere fun.
Are you going to meet all these dudes? No.
Then you keep braving about?
Braving?
No, braving. I was...
I was like... Whoa. Okay, no. I had a friend that was without a car and was going through
(01:19):
a lot of stuff. So...
Talk about me.
Oh, no, my other person.
Oh, okay.
So...
Maybe you have many friends who are in the same situation as...
Oh, well.
Yeah.
You were taken.
The person I left, they're placed.
Oh.
Yeah. They were without a car for the week, but thankfully it was covered under the warranty.
(01:42):
Oh, okay.
So...
That's good.
Yeah.
But...
Talk about the X, right?
My X? No.
Oh.
Someone else.
No, that guy can fucking...
Okay.
Well, I kind of figured that's where that would go.
So that's why I was kind of shocked a little bit.
I was just like, wow.
Love how you're there for everybody. It's amazing.
Truly.
Well, you know...
(02:03):
Yeah, except for him.
So...
I was there for him for 13 years.
For better, for worse, and then he dumped me. Fuck that, dude.
It's okay. You can move on.
Oh, yeah.
You got...
He gave you permission.
I've probably longed before.
I don't need his permission.
Well, that's good.
I never did.
You didn't get his permission then.
You just...
Yeah, fuck that guy.
(02:24):
He just sort of reveled without a cause.
That was the thing.
So, you know, we were talking about my Crohn's issues and my stomach still kind of been hurting
but not as bad.
The problem is that I wanted a second opinion because a doctor that I went and saw, a
pedallist, was kind of a cock.
You know, he just wasn't...
No, I don't know.
(02:45):
I just...
I wasn't...
I want somebody with a good bedside manner.
Yeah.
I didn't feel that he provided that.
So the next doctor I get down in the city closest to us, down south.
I go see him and he's a cock.
Well...
I get...
You deal with people's stomach issues but don't be a dick about it.
(03:08):
Don't cause them.
Don't cause them absolutely.
So he is contradicting the other doctor and saying, "No, you don't have Crohn's.
You have something else."
Okay.
Okay.
What is that?
I don't understand.
So...
Now, is it bad to want to get a third opinion?
No.
No, it is not.
(03:28):
Because I think I'm going to do that.
I think you should.
But this time I want...
See, this is why...
It's a tie breaker.
You need a tie breaker.
Yeah, exactly.
This is my Supreme Court.
Sort of sorts.
But I need...
This is why I have...
For the most part, I have always had and preferred female doctors just because I...
(03:49):
It's just me being a gay man.
I just prefer that talk, that sense of care, that...
Typically more compassionate.
Yeah, definitely.
So...
I...
Or at least in my experience, they happen.
Yeah.
Look, I mean, I know that there are some doctors out there, female and male who are complete
(04:10):
assholes.
I did it.
Yeah.
You know, they're out there.
But in my experience, if I can find one that is closer to my age, ideally about my
age, because that means that they went straight into medical school right when we got out of school
or went to college for it.
So, yeah, that'd be dope.
Yeah, but there's something to be said for years of experience.
(04:34):
Not when your doctor has a photo of mash hanging on the wall.
Hey, that is a damn good show.
Maybe.
I'd never watched it, but it scared the shit out of me.
I was...
I was...
It was a comedy.
Yeah, that's cool.
But the guy scared me is what I'm saying.
Like he...
He was the doctor because he was very brash and just...
He didn't...
(04:55):
Yeah.
You know, the army type.
Yeah.
That's what he was used to.
He's like, "Get out there soldier, you know, hair."
Yeah.
I don't know if he's got a pig leg or anything, but...
Yeah, I just...
I...
Man, I don't know.
So, I'm gonna have to find a doctor that can talk to me like a person and not a object.
Yeah.
(05:15):
That's how I feel about my...
Dermatologist.
He's a good guy.
He was great.
He was laughing and everything.
He was jovial.
But he didn't give me information.
He's like, "Oh, just don't mess with it."
No, I don't want that.
I want to know why I'm not supposed to mess with.
Like what is...
Exactly.
(05:36):
It's like this thing on my hand.
Do you like a dry spot?
No, no, no, no.
I have plenty of those.
He actually said, "I don't think you have X-men."
I'm just sitting here like, "That's because it's controlled right now."
See, I wonder if that's what this is.
Oh, I have...
Mine was so bad.
Flakes were coming off of my wrist.
(05:57):
It was bad.
Is it there all the time?
But sometimes it just...
Oh, okay.
Well, then maybe this is just a bad transplant.
Mine was not there all the time.
Mine flares up occasionally.
But when it really flares up, it gets so bad.
Like cracks and bleeds.
It's fun.
That just sounds painful.
(06:18):
Well, yeah, definitely that.
Just testing.
See, because sometimes when I...
It's funny you mentioned dermatologists because I got to visit with...
So my dermatologist is in Dallas because there's not one down here in these boom docs where
we're at.
At least that I've been able to find with my insurance.
Yeah.
That's the biggest problem.
But...
(06:38):
Yeah, so I had to go...
I had to go all the way up to Dallas.
Fortunately, they do video visits and so I don't have to go so long as the treatment is
working and everything is kosher.
Gotcha.
But if I have a problem, then I need to go up there.
But going up there, giving my current circumstance, is kind of difficult.
(07:00):
Yeah.
However, that could be changing soon.
Because of the car?
Yeah.
I was about to say, anytime you need it, just give me a heads up.
Bro, we go.
Yeah, I just...
I hate putting you in that position because I just hate putting people in that position.
I hate asking my mom.
Look.
Here's how bad it was, by the way, with my mom.
So when I had to go to the doctor on...
(07:22):
I don't know.
I think it was Wednesday or whenever I had to go down to the city south of us.
My grandmother, whom my mom also takes care of, was all the way up here.
My mom did not pay attention to the invites on her phone and saw what city I had to go to
the doctor in.
(07:42):
She thought it was just up here down the road.
And I said, no, it isn't.
Because what she was going to do was drop me off, go to the Chinese buffet, get food for
my grandma, take it over to her, and then come back to me.
Well, when I told her, no, by the way, we're running 15 minutes late.
I don't know if they're going to see me.
Fortunately, they did.
(08:04):
But my mom took me all the way down there.
Then as soon as I get there, my doctor is on call at the hospital and had to go to the
ER to go see whatever that problem was.
So I'm waiting in the waiting room for him to come back.
My mom leaves, comes all the way back up here, goes to get Chinese food, takes it to my
grandmother, drives all the way back down south.
(08:25):
That is a real mom.
So I had to, yeah, I had to treat her out to some dinner and a Dutch brother.
Because by the first time I'm ever having Dutch bros, she said, I've never been there.
Okay, well, we can take a trip in that Dutch bros.
If you like drinks, I mean, that's all it is.
But it's, oh my God, I love Dutch bros.
(08:45):
It's just amazing.
It's a beautiful place.
But my gastroenterologist would probably say, that's the reason why you're stuck.
It's so screwed up.
So what kind of drinks are we talking about?
So they're known for their coffee.
It's a, I don't drink coffee.
Well, they have a lot more than that.
They got smoothies.
They got sodas.
They got waters.
They got teas.
They got icy slushies.
(09:07):
It's okay.
You had me at teas.
Yeah.
I mean, they got it all.
So my mom got, it's called the OG gummy bear.
And she thought she was going to like it.
But I guess she doesn't like the tangy taste of pomegranate.
She thought she would.
It's, I love pomegranate.
And so I've gotten that one before.
(09:28):
So I told her, it's like, here's what's in it.
Blue raspberry, whatever.
And she was just like, oh, that sounds good.
Yeah, I'll take that.
So they take it as like a sparkling water, right?
And then they put all these different flavors in.
And then you get to choose, you know, do you want cream like, you know, you'd put in coffee,
you want cream in that or do you want whipped cream?
(09:51):
She chose cream.
That's where she fucked up.
Yeah, probably.
Well, but it tamed down a little bit.
The tanginess.
Yeah.
And whipped cream would have done the same and kept the sweetness to it.
But anyway, so she was just like she didn't like it, which was disappointing.
But I told her, and she was so close to getting, and it's not called a frappe there.
(10:13):
It's their version of one.
But I said, you man, you should have just got that.
Like that's what she was dead set on the first place.
So, but she didn't, you know, whatever.
Mom's will be mom's.
I know, I know.
And I told her, I told her, don't second guess yourself.
You're going to be like, oh, this is, this is, I'm looking forward to it.
And then she's going to hate it.
(10:34):
But what was driving her nuts and this kills me about old boomers, fucking boomers.
Why is this place that only sells drinks so popular?
Mom, it's 2023.
It's 2023.
You don't have to have food every place you go these days.
(10:54):
Like they got special.
And like, they, that's how it used to be anyways.
Something used to be separated.
Like shops and we're not talking about segregation.
Yeah, I know.
And leave it to you.
You're like, the black people were over there.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would please explain my history with men.
(11:16):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
You dated quite the colorful rainbow.
Yes, I have.
But yeah, so she was trying to collect the mall.
She spoke a month.
I wish they would poke me.
It sounds like they have in their own way.
We'll get to that in a second.
But I just, yeah, I don't know.
(11:36):
She had just really irritated the shit out of me.
Because I just wanted her to try something new without being judging the fucking place.
But she did anyway.
Anywhere.
I still want to take her back down there.
Plus it worked out.
It was kind of a freebie for me anyway, because I paid for it because I have the app and
I had like 20 bucks on there.
(11:58):
And it's been on there for like two and a half years.
I'm like, I'm never going to use this again.
And then they put one in a pair and I'm like, yes.
Finally, I got to use my $20.
It was great.
It was beautiful.
So anyway, that's just kind of my thing.
How are things, by the way, with you and your ex?
Do I see still?
We talked.
(12:18):
It's a blast, a plus.
And like we get along.
But I am very screwed.
Yeah, I did this.
I am very scared.
Why?
I got to figure out how to make rent and everything.
I don't have that much money coming in.
(12:40):
So I got to figure it out.
And my friend is me.
We're paying rent too.
I'm paying electric.
Oh, the electric, yeah.
But I got to come up with that and I got to come up with money for my storage building.
I got to come up with it.
Is he helping?
He's done.
(13:00):
Is that what you said?
Like he's cut off?
Yeah.
I don't know how I'm going to do any of this.
I have no clue.
I'm making $80 a week right now.
I am so excited.
You need a lotion at those feet, baby.
Fucking for real.
Put them up on that feet finder and be like, look at my toe.
Oh, I have an idea.
(13:23):
Uh-oh.
Googly eyes in your feet.
We're going to make.
Remember stick stickly on Nickelodeon?
No?
Well, he's coming back and he's going to be your big toe.
Oh, my God.
I think that would be hilarious.
He is, fuck.
Having like two little googly eyes on your little big toe.
My little big toe.
Yeah, God, that would be so cute.
We could make him dance.
You could make him jiggle and stuff.
(13:45):
Those moves using my fingers.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
I mean, there's so many options.
This little piggy's buying the bacon.
Listen, if you, we could make like a little commercial.
Oh, my God.
I put it up on YouTube.
Get it everywhere.
Oh, man, that'd be great.
My mind's going wild.
I love your pyrems.
I love your pyrems.
(14:06):
I listen.
Listen, sometimes you got to have a pie in the sky and I'm ready to take a chunk out of
it.
But which, by the way, speaking of chunk, the lottery 1.4 billion.
Jesus.
1.4 billion for Powerball tonight, by the way.
Oh, I thought someone won already.
No, not.
He did the last one, but it seems like every couple of months it just did does this all
(14:28):
over again.
Geez.
So, I mean, if you want to get out of debt, here's a way to try.
Or do you want to get into it?
God.
Depending on what kind of self-control you have, that could be the eight, that could be your
demise, I guess.
You've seen my sex campaigns.
I'm just saying.
And speaking of, I want to get into that a little bit.
(14:50):
So, so do I.
Can we talk?
Can we talk to nugs?
No.
He doesn't want us to call?
No.
Did he just say that again?
He wouldn't.
He wouldn't.
Ask him again right now.
Just say, look, this is going to be anonymous.
The idea, his idea was for us to record and for him to be sending me some of the most fucked
(15:13):
up Smuddy shit.
Well?
That's always an option.
But I want him to, yeah, just Texas say, hey, can we call you?
This will be anonymous.
No one's going to know.
I'm good at protecting you in whatever way he wants.
(15:34):
But this, oh my God, there's so many questions.
So here's the thing, while she's texting him, she came in with him resting on her boobs.
And by that, I mean, he was on speaker phone and a phone were on her tits.
He'll like that.
And I didn't know at first I thought it was someone else and I thought she was having this
conversation with him, but he was actually reaching out to me to say hello as our first
(15:58):
time speaking, by the way.
He said, I about be.
Is, yes, yeah, no idea.
It was talking to me at that time.
I'm not poppy.
It kept, well, listen, it kind of gave me a little wood.
Just saying, little stubby happening down there, but I'm just, you know, I was, I was,
I was a little, little excited, a little turned on.
But he sounds like a fun person who I think would be able to answer a lot of the questions
(16:23):
that I have.
He says his answer is no.
Damn it.
I told you.
He's always ruined in my day.
He fucking did it to me earlier.
He made me cry.
What?
Yeah.
How?
Why?
I don't like him anymore.
What happened?
(16:44):
He was trying to figure out what was actually bothering me, but what was actually bothering
me was the fact that my mom's birthday just passed.
Oh.
Yeah.
That is sad.
Yeah.
So I was, I needed to cry.
He made, I needed to get past that and I just sometimes, well, and sometimes a good, a
(17:04):
good cry is all you need.
And I really honestly, I needed to get past it because I arrogantly thought I was going
to be okay this year.
I don't know why, but I felt it.
Every year do you feel it?
Like, is it getting worse or do you think it's just, it depends.
Does it ever get better?
(17:26):
Probably not.
It depends on the year really.
And this year I'm having an exceptionally shitty year.
And so I just kind of, I was like, I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
And then I went to the hospital that day and then I'm sitting out there and I'm like,
I can't pay for this.
I don't care.
And I'm feeling my heart beating more than it should.
(17:49):
I'm feeling it, or I'm feeling it more than I should.
Yeah.
It's a weighing on you more.
Yeah.
And I was, I was debating going to the ER because of that and a couple of other things going
on.
And then finally I was like, I'm just sitting there and I'm like, fuck it, I'm going home.
I don't want to pay this bill.
Did you tell them before you pieced out?
(18:11):
Who?
It was in the hospital.
I'm gone.
Oh, and I haven't gone anywhere.
Oh, okay.
So you're sitting in the car and I was like, do I really want to pay this?
I do.
I really want to pay this.
I'm already getting calls and collections from the ones I just went to earlier this year.
Hold on.
Are you not on his insurance anymore?
(18:31):
We didn't have insurance at a certain point because he was switching jobs.
Well, yeah, but you went since he got the new job.
Yeah.
And they covered their part and now they're asking for more money and I don't have it.
Oh, so like the deductible type part of his.
I already paid my deductible.
And then they paid their part and now they're still left over.
(18:57):
See that's the insurance company's man.
They are so fucked up.
They'll do anything to drain you.
And I, I just don't have it.
Yeah.
I love getting collection calls.
I'm like, dude, I'm not going to bullshit you.
And let me tell you, RoboKiller saved my life.
Oh shit.
It's not even that.
I'm straightforward and honest with them.
(19:18):
I'm like, yeah, this is all my information.
I have nothing to give you.
I cannot promise you that I will pay anything because I have nothing.
Yeah.
I think their job is to assume that all you're doing is lying to them.
Well, a lot of times you can tell.
And the woman that I was talking to, like I broke down crying.
I was like, look, I don't know when I'll have money.
(19:42):
And I told her a little bit about my situation.
I was like, I'm not in a good place.
I'm like, it's just not doable.
And she's like, I understand.
I'm going to put this in your file.
And I hope you have a better day, honey.
Like she was, it felt genuine.
Yeah.
Well, it'll be, you know, I don't know.
(20:03):
I don't know.
I guess every one of those places is different.
I know a lot of them, they do kind of come back and say, OK, well, if you get, you know,
thea to pay, you know, X amount of dollars, it'll be commission for you on, you know.
Well, they asked, she asked if I could do $20 a month.
And I'm like, I'm not be asking you when I say I cannot promise that.
(20:28):
Is there any lower payment?
Because I could do like $5 a month.
And I might be able to pull that off.
And regardless of anything else, I'll make that happen.
Yeah.
But where are they working with you on that one or she was like, that's the lowest I can offer
you.
And that's the lowest I can approve is $20.
And she's like, I understand.
(20:49):
I appreciate you talking to me.
And I wasn't hostile.
I wasn't anything like that.
I was very honest.
I was very calm.
And I was like, look, this is just where I am.
And she's like, OK, well, I'll put in here to reach out to you at a different time.
And like, yeah.
Yeah, see, I just, I don't know.
(21:10):
Those people just always kind of, it's a little shady to me or can be.
And I already have a very low cost of living.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Man, well, you know, hopefully, you know, things will get better.
Maybe it'll stick in.
I'm going to lottery, man.
Maybe.
If you don't play, you don't know.
(21:32):
Well, like, we have a good idea that we know.
We have a good idea that we know what to know.
We might need to go get tickets then because the jack pocket app.
But does it have?
I don't understand.
Yeah, the jack pocket.
I thought I sent you the link.
(21:54):
Anyway, so I, it's super cool because you get.
You can do it all from the app and they actually go out and get the physical tickets.
They put your name on it, tie it to you.
You take a picture of your IDs and it uploaded to the app and your profile.
But yeah, it's super nice.
I mean, what happens if someone wins that?
(22:16):
They get it to you securely.
Do they get a cut?
No.
The only part that they get is whenever you buy a ticket, they get like, like, I don't
think it's like 50 cents, 45 cents per ticket or something or per.
So like, I think if you buy $10 worth of tickets, you'd pay for the app $12.32.
(22:41):
So yeah, that's all they get from it.
They don't get a cut of any of your money.
Yeah, it's pretty nice and scary because it's gotten me hooked on it a little too much.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Speaking of getting hooked on it, what about those men that are hooked on your G spot?
(23:01):
God, I wish they were.
Are you still passing out that key?
Passing out that key.
Yeah, the key to your, you know, key.
Oh, but the visuals.
Yeah, sorry.
I'm just.
The screwdriver.
Listen, I did this all I have.
(23:22):
It's in my hands of just, you know.
Give me a little head.
Is it like a, yeah, like a tea spot?
Oh my God.
Number one, you don't hook it like it's a fish.
There are some penises at her hook though.
What?
Someone like just hooking into my G spot makes me want to vomit.
(23:42):
I don't know why.
That's.
Yeah.
If they, you don't hook.
Oh my God.
I don't, oh my God.
That is such a visual.
Have you ever been with a guy that's been hooked like that?
It's like you haven't.
No, no, I haven't.
Who would, okay, hold on here.
I've been with someone who does brush up against it every time they stroke in and out.
That's great.
(24:03):
But it's not like a hook.
It's so I'm confused.
Is it like a hook, but not as defined?
They were large.
Oh, so it was just.
Curthy.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, what about someone who just punched that button every time?
Have you ever had that?
Yes.
They make toys like that.
Yes.
(24:24):
Yes and yes.
But you don't have to go that far up in there to do that though, right?
Like seriously, like two knuckles, roughly.
Okay.
So then why is it that, that chicks seemingly are into guys that just want these big
dogs?
Like what's the point?
Some people like the cervix, the cervix crusher.
(24:46):
It is what it is.
It's the cervix crusher.
I love it.
There are several names that someone in particular came up with that just fucking made me
die laughing.
So in theory.
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
(25:06):
Oh, shit.
Oh, everybody.
I was trying to find the, the, the, the, what?
Are you looking for a toy?
No, what's the look you're rebounding at my toys?
No, I wasn't.
No, I was looking for a thing.
I got to be my tool bag.
I was looking for the measuring tape.
That's accurate.
Yeah.
To have it in your tool bag.
(25:27):
Well, because I was thinking like if, if it's just that far in, then really a guy like,
four and up is all you need.
Yeah.
To get there.
Yeah, but that's what people don't fucking understand is yeah, it does not matter about
size.
It matters about how you get it.
And also your willingness.
(25:48):
That's a good one too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could, yeah.
Well, but then also the same thing goes for guys.
The for, for, for gay guys like when it comes to like anal sex, right?
Because the, the, the prostate is not far in there.
It's about where the G spot is in terms of the other end.
It's just, wait, where is it at?
(26:08):
Hold on.
I'm facing this way.
Is it that way?
I'm picturing how all this looks right now.
Nobody can see anything, but I'm just saying that I'm thinking.
It looks like you're giving finger puppet.
I know.
I'm just, I'm a shadow.
Is that, is this it?
(26:29):
Yeah.
No, I don't know, but it's anyway point is it's not that far in.
It's, it's just, it's just, you know, just, just, you know, just skipping a jump just around
the river band.
You know, but the honest son of a best.
Jesus.
All right.
So we need to call somebody on.
Banshee dragon is his name.
I don't know if he's going to want us to, to call him that and it doesn't really matter
(26:51):
because I'm going to call him that anyway, but let's just go ahead and give him a ringy
being.
Oh, oh.
Oh.
(Banshee singing)
Now watch him not answer.
He's supposed to be driving.
Hello?
(27:11):
Hello, Banshee.
Hello?
What's up?
Are you driving?
No, I'm home.
Oh.
Oh, hi.
Yeah.
These, these here.
So, okay.
Well, cool.
So you're free then.
I love it.
So hold on.
What are you doing?
The, the phone's cutting in and out.
(27:31):
Um, that is just my apartment.
That's how she needs a service.
Jesus.
H. Mary mother and Joseph.
Same though.
I know.
I know.
So, hold on.
You were at a, did you go to a gender reveal today?
Is that what you were doing?
Yes.
How did they reveal it?
What was the method?
Uh, a pumpkin.
(27:51):
Uh, they pumpkin with a little pumpkin inside, painted blue.
Aww.
That's good.
(Banshee laughing)
James Facebook.
Say, give me a coke on it.
Oh my god.
That's hilarious.
So, okay.
Well, that's cute.
I've never thought about that.
That's just kind of, kind of sweet.
That is really cute.
Who, who was this in relation to you though?
(28:14):
My brother and his wife.
Oh.
(Banshee laughing)
I, we're not laughing at that.
We're laughing because she actually conveniently handed me a coke, which I did need a
refill, so that kind of worked out perfect.
Um, so, very nice.
Very nice.
Very nice.
So, so here's, here's something.
First off, we, we definitely need to catch up on.
Is, uh, what is the status of your dating life and, and all the, the different apps and
(28:40):
stuff that you're on?
What's going on with that?
Right now I'm talking to nobody.
What about, what?
Oh, I thought you were talking to some Virginia chick.
Yes, we were talking a few weeks.
Oh, well, she doesn't respond, but.
Saturday.
I mean, she hasn't responded.
(29:01):
What?
She didn't respond to you?
No.
I mean, she did.
Tommy Happy Birthday.
Tommy Birthday.
Oh, that's a happy birthday.
That's a happy birthday.
Thanks.
So, you're not talking to anybody.
You're in, and, okay, well, you know, that's sweet.
How many different apps are you on?
(29:22):
Uh, Facebook dating, meet me and POS.
Oh, I just got him on plenty of fish.
He wasn't on that before.
I thought that, is this, this people still use that, don't they?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to cost like 10 bucks a month.
No, they have a free version.
Yeah, they do have a free version.
So, you're automatically on that.
Have you found anybody or started talking to anybody or used it?
(29:45):
No.
Well, I've used it, but I haven't started talking to anybody.
No, bansch.
Why not?
Nobody responds.
We need to, you just need to get me your login and, and, and let, be a go through your
stuff.
Oh, no.
I'm not going through anybody's stuff.
(30:05):
Oh, okay.
It'll be helpful.
Two tacos first.
Two tacos.
Wow.
This bitch is really trying to get two tacos in order to help with profile on your dating
profile.
I just want two tacos, man.
I love tacos.
Oh, my God.
I was born on Taco Tuesday.
(30:26):
All right.
Well, we'll just, okay.
No, seriously, I, not without consent.
That's all I'm going to say.
I mean, I would, I, I've been helping with it.
I think it might need a little tweaking.
I will also, I can tell you which apps I'm on.
(30:48):
Oh, you know what, bansch.
You should send me like five photos of like your face and like, maybe like some body shots.
And I'm going to upload those to the AI app and see what kind of cool AI images it'll
come up with and you can post those on your profile.
(31:09):
That's not entirely cat fishing.
Like it's still you.
Right.
I mean, I'm just saying, you know, so hold on.
So something else that I wanted to get into and I know that you were, you were dying to.
So bansch is a guy who works and helps other people who have disabilities physically, mentally
(31:34):
disabled adults.
And that's why he's friends with us exactly.
Fuck.
Exactly.
So I knew it was there somewhere.
I would.
Yeah.
My question is, would you be able to tell us some of the things that have happened?
(31:59):
I know that you had one story that you had been dying to tell me.
With a violating hip up.
Yeah, without violating hip up.
Oh, this.
I can't tell these stories.
You were going to tell me the other day and I told you no wait for the podcast.
That was a few weeks ago.
(32:21):
Yeah.
Well, here's the thing.
As long as you're not violating hip up, it should be fine.
Which in theory is just leaving out names, places and identifiers.
Yeah.
Any identifiers?
I thought I was going to get a data one client.
I was just walking in.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
(32:41):
That's that.
Yeah.
Tell me about that one.
What happened?
Oh, I sent you the picture of the toilet.
Oh.
Fucker.
Let me tell you.
We're playing a game.
And which by the way, this is where I know, Ben, just where I know in front we played video
games together.
This motherfucker always has stories about shit that goes down.
(33:03):
No pun intended with what's stuff that he does.
Sounds like shit did not go down that day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, but however, there was some really gross things that he had.
Because on top of taking care of him, he has to clean up after him.
This asshole sent me a picture of this guy's toilet in the bathroom that I swear.
(33:28):
He doesn't, whoever the guy is that he's taking care of doesn't aim before he goes and sits
down on the toilet.
He just goes as he's sitting down on the toilet.
Like it was, it was, hey, by the way, if you're eating, I apologize to definitely skip this
part.
So, yeah, that happened to end.
And what else?
(33:48):
How else was the house?
Oh my gosh.
The side of his bed is covered in shit.
Oh my God.
The side of the bed.
How was that?
Yes.
How was, what?
Oh, and a few zoom in after, and look at the base of the toilet, you'll be able to see
a turd sitting there.
Oh my God.
That's just, how is that considered safe for him to live in?
(34:13):
It's not.
Yeah, like you have to, you have to report that though, don't you?
Yeah, but nothing ever gets done so there's really no point in reporting it or making it
a notice to the company because they don't do anything.
Wow.
Yeah, but still see why I make the report.
Cover your ass.
(34:34):
Yeah.
So, what else other than, other than that, like what else has been going on with that guy?
Oh, that's it.
He's just a nasty, nasty person.
So the thing I always ask him is, has he ever had a guy ask him if, would you finish me
(34:58):
off or would you give me a, yeah, would you give me a little reach around?
Oh my God.
Didn't you say that you had one guy who asked you if you watched porn?
Yeah, that was the other day.
That's with people.
I know.
And the funny part is that they're asking Ethan here who, by far, doesn't do, he doesn't
(35:20):
watch porn.
He's still a virgin.
He's, you know, he's a relative.
He's a sweet, well, well, well, ish.
Yeah, he's a sweet little angle.
That's a big, yeah, that's a big ish.
I don't know if I'd go with angel, but yeah, he's definitely an angel.
(35:41):
Um, the other thing that people were asking you was if, or asked you often, if people,
you know, on top of, has anyone ever asked you to finish them off, was you had a guy ask
you about watching porn?
You've had a guy ask you about, did you say that they asked you about finishing you off
(36:02):
or what?
No.
Oh, okay.
Maybe I was just hoping that somebody asked him that.
Just, I, dude, the other day I was doing laundry and someone asked about my, um, considerable
top heaviness.
Your, your large breast disease.
Yes.
Yes.
(36:22):
Uh, and I'm like, I need to cover up now.
Wow.
What did they say to you?
We were just having a normal conversation and all of a sudden he's, he's like, I could
just suck on those titties all day long.
And I'm like, oh my god.
Are you serious?
Where to God?
(36:42):
I am not going back to that laundromat.
Oh my god.
Oh god.
Ethan, would you ever ask a girl like that if you were at the laundromat?
Maybe on all of the, in 180, probably.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, when you got to lose at that point, this dude was in his 60s.
He's like, and he straight up told me that.
(37:03):
He's like, I'm 58 about to be 60.
And he's like, I'm still going.
I would love to be, and I'm like, oh my god.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's, see, that's stupid young because my dad is 70.
Dude, this guy.
That's creepy.
That's, I don't even know.
What did you say?
17 kids.
(37:24):
I'm sure he does.
I'm, he probably doesn't even know half of him.
What, what, yeah, he's probably registered too.
Uh, probably.
That's probably why he didn't care.
He makes $10 a day cleaning up that laundromat, though.
$10 a day.
A day.
Wow.
Exploitation much.
He must be, he's in there for one hour in the Jets.
Oh, he's in there for about four hours a day.
(37:45):
Staring, I guess.
Gawking, yes.
Oh, god, it was so, oh my god.
That's just, that's good.
He's like, how big are they?
And I'm like, and I'm answering questions just because I'm like, I don't know what else
to do right now.
See, this is what I wish you would have just had the wherewithal to just hit record on
your phone.
Oh, god, you wouldn't have been able to hear much because it's so loud in there.
(38:08):
But next time I'll try to man next time next time next time I'm getting assaulted.
Yeah, next time.
Burmally.
I will pause.
Yeah, here.
Hold on one second, sir.
Yeah, she's excited about that.
She's looking for hold on one second.
I need to record this assault.
Where do I find my memo app?
(38:31):
Voice.
Can you say that again into the microphone right here?
Hi, Google.
Open up.
Voice, my mouse.
Oh my gosh.
So, either what else has been going on in your world?
Do you have any questions for Thia?
Because I know you mentioned before that you might have a couple of questions or at least
(38:52):
things you wanted to ask her.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I remember those now.
Damn it, Ethan.
We get you here.
We get you on the spot and you can't even produce.
He's just blinded by my beauty.
Yeah, that's what it is.
He's blinded by your beauty.
Yeah, I think he's, I think he saw a picture of you when I said him one of me, it was you
(39:15):
in the background when we were at Lowe's, I think.
Well, I just got my hair here.
Oh, I have to, oh well, okay.
Yeah, he has no clue what you look like.
He is blinded by my beauty then.
Yeah, see exactly.
Well, you know, I think it would be fun to kind of, we have to just play like a dating round
or something with all Ethan and see if we can't find him somebody.
(39:38):
So, hold on, let me ask you this.
What type of girl is it that you look for?
Like what are the must-haves?
What are the traits?
Can't pull me on the spot like that, man.
(40:02):
Take your time.
Take your time.
It's not like we're recording a podcast or anything.
How about I tell you some of my must-haves?
How about you just describe yourself, we'll see if he matches.
Oh my God.
I got big tips, is that enough?
Bingo.
That's the, that's the right in the middle of that bingo car.
That's the free space.
(40:23):
That's it.
That's it.
No, seriously, like what?
He really depends on the personality.
Really personality?
Like you're, you're going to go over the personality.
Like you got to have physical attraction though, yeah?
No, you're not necessarily.
You're talking about personality.
Yeah.
Sam.
I'd rather have personality than luck.
(40:47):
For me, yes, very much the same.
Have you seen my exes?
Well, your most recent one's hot.
Yeah, and if you ask him, he'll tell you that too.
That's kind of a problem.
Oh, so you're saying that we should just be with ugly people?
I mean.
So, for with ugly people then.
I mean a chance, sir.
(41:07):
Man, see, but that's how you know like in the gay community, it just is no bueno.
Is that sadly?
That's kind of how it is.
It's just all about looks and they're very gay guys, man.
They're very vain.
That's how I can tell Ethan is straight as a doornale because he just straight to personality.
(41:28):
Honestly, I can I can deal with a lot, but if you are an asshole to me, if you treat me
like shit, I'm not going to want to be anywhere near you.
What?
And that makes sense.
And I've blocked people because of it and one of them was hot.
Like stupid hot.
See, but we don't need any of these Andrew Tater tots who think that they are God's gift
(41:53):
to women, you know, roaming the streets.
Like I just think people like that are just so disgusting and just shit face.
Like, you know, like why?
For me, another thing that really sets me off is like if they can make intelligent conversation
because I'm not the smartest.
(42:13):
No, but I am pretty smart.
And if oh my God, one of them made a fucking joke.
Oh my God, I can't even remember what it was.
Oh, boron.
Boron was the punchline and I'm like, you know, boron, periodic table, element.
(42:35):
I was so wet.
Wow, man, that's all it took.
I like a periodic table and then I love nerds.
Man, look at you.
Geeks are better.
Do I?
Geeks are better.
Nerds not the most.
I like nerds.
I like geeks.
I like dorks.
I like dweebs.
What motherfucker?
(42:56):
You want to what?
What?
You worked on that one, didn't you?
What?
What's the difference between a geek and a nerd?
Nerds are smart.
Geeks have hobbies like magic, video games that.
D and D.
I like both.
Oh, so you're a, you're a gird.
That's actually why the ex was over here last time because we were so different.
(43:19):
Yes, Gerard.
No, I do.
So does Ethan.
We're like old people here.
This is awesome.
Well, now we were splitting up the magic cards and I gave him a couple of my decks because
he literally came in with like two decks and I came in with two boxes.
I've never played magic so I don't know.
(43:41):
It's good.
It's fun about any of this.
I'm just not getting into d and d so I'm, I'm channeling my inner nerd.
I geek.
My bad.
I've played d and d once but my d and m.
Torment of magic, do you play?
Hmm.
Torment of magic, do you play?
I've just been doing like original like OG.
I have not gotten into commander.
(44:02):
That's all I play.
So hold on.
So for somebody who's never ever touched it, pretend that's me.
What, how would you describe this game?
All the only thing I know about it is that cards are involved.
Okay.
It is.
But the lot like you're here and folks that doesn't have it.
I'm still over.
(44:22):
I'm still have no clue.
Okay.
How about this?
You are going against a magical army that you have, you have your own magical army but
you have to get out the proper cards to summon them.
So for like say, some of the red and blacks are a really small man of cost to pull out.
(44:48):
Okay.
You would need like two.
I'll show you later too.
But you would need like the amount of lands to pay for them to come out into play to
defend you.
The good thing is while you're building your little baby army, so are they.
(45:08):
So you build up your army over time and then you attack relentlessly.
And there are magic cards to protect you.
There are traps.
There are spells.
There are artifacts.
There are like all kinds of stuff that are just fun with a little kushamam.
It's a lot of fun.
(45:28):
I will show you later so you will have a visual representation as well.
All right.
So Ethan.
What else?
Did you get any of them?
No.
No.
I'm just.
You glazed.
You glazed.
I moved on.
I'm missing so many things but I'm so excited about it because I haven't been able to play
(45:49):
with anyone in it so long.
So I'm like.
Well, is it something that like you and Ethan could like form like kind of like a D&D
like a campaign you could do like over zoom or something?
Yeah.
Can you just throw it down cards to.
But he plays commander.
I don't.
What's the difference?
So commander you have 99 cards that's including land.
(46:10):
Well, you have 100 cards but 99 and library your 100th card which is your commander sits
off and that's own little part of the table.
And you can summon your commander when you have the right amount on a manna or what not.
I have played it a couple of times but I think it's not my thing.
(46:31):
And you can only have one copy of each spell.
Yeah, that's why it's not my thing.
Or in virtual land.
That's why it's not my thing because I like to screw people over repeatedly with the same
card.
God.
I don't know what ruthless that.
I am not ruthless.
I am a sweetheart.
(46:52):
Oh, I'm ruthless and magic.
Oh, God.
He's also.
He's also ruthless.
He's also ruthless.
I have a one turn before my commander.
My first commander deck that I put a couple hundred and two and I was 5 silver as it was
like 30 grand is what I could get from the deck.
(47:14):
I was able to just in one turn upkeep.
I was dealing 60,000 damage just in upkeep.
Fuck.
Holy shit.
Yeah, dragon.
So what I was running.
God bless.
So did you sell it?
No, when I was in Florida, somebody stole it out of the magic shop that I was playing at.
(47:42):
Oh, I've heard so many stories like that that is so sad.
See, but that's where someone like me who has no idea.
If I were to see some of that shit, I would just, I wouldn't know.
I'd just be like, it's a card.
Yeah, I probably throw it away.
Well, just by the pre-con commander that I had is $600 just to buy it again.
(48:04):
Well, look at this way.
Charlie, if someone were to go into your studio and steal a mic, yeah.
We don't understand.
They mean that what it would be the same.
I would be like, just a mic.
What's the big deal?
Yeah.
So that's your just a card.
So to you, it holds significant value to us.
(48:26):
We're like, oh, it's a microphone.
Okay.
So get me wrong.
I do love mics.
To play into this geek dumb thing is this kind of like the whole Pokemon thing that just
for some, I don't know why, but is now popular again?
This was before it, but yes.
Okay.
(48:47):
So why is Pokemon card so popular again?
I want to be the fair.
Have you seen them?
They're fucking adorable.
But also every year, like every year or two, new games are getting released.
So play other games.
So, yes, so do I.
But not as much as I've seen.
See, if you could tell me that there was a Pokemon game where I could just go around,
(49:12):
not follow a storyline and just like catch the Pokemon.
There are.
Yeah, Pokemon, let's go Eevee and Pikachu.
Yep.
You just run around capturing Pokemon without having to battle and gyms or anything.
And the new Pokemon Legends of Archaeus, there is a story to it, but you just run around,
(49:34):
do different tasks and stuff.
There's no like right way to play them.
So even the new, even the new Scarlet and Violet, but some open world now you can go to any gym first.
Okay.
Any reason you don't have to do a little side quest.
(49:56):
So hold on.
So are these phones, like phone apps or are they like Nintendo?
What Nintendo switch?
Okay.
So what are the ones that you were saying that I could do?
Legends of Archaeus.
Let's go Eevee, let's go Pikachu, Violet and Scarlet.
The new Violet and Scarlet.
Oh, okay.
(50:17):
Well then I'll try that.
Yeah.
So look at that.
So look at that.
You, you, you, you, man, my room is getting out of it.
Be key to you by the moment.
I'm too a Pokemon go.
I fucking love that game.
I told you the only time that I played Pokemon go was when I was sitting on the toilet and I was catching my first Pokemon.
And that was because he was right where I was and I haven't played it since.
(50:39):
I have, I have a Pikachu named after you.
Remember I caught it with you several years ago.
No, I don't remember that.
Sorry.
When you went to Dallas and you picked me up when we were going around and I was like, hold on, hold on.
I'm going to talk to him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the good old days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(51:00):
No, I kind of, I'm kind of treating him.
I'm pulling to my end to the moment.
What are you playing?
No, he's literally cheating.
I have a link that connects to the app so I can spoof my location to anywhere.
So right now I'm over in New York even though I live in Michigan.
You bitch.
(51:21):
Wow.
I was going to Charlie.
I was going to Charlie if you want.
We'll see.
Listen.
Are you on iPhone or Android?
I want iPhone.
Oh, then I won't work.
Yeah.
But also I don't want to get my account banned.
I, the fear.
You only get banned if you get, if you move, uh,
(51:43):
it's a location too many times.
Well, if you get caught, yeah.
How long have you been in New York?
Almost a year now.
Yeah.
Time to move.
See, I want to go to like all the different countries and get the regional Pokemon.
Like that's what I wanted to do when they first had them out.
(52:05):
But I don't know.
I'm just my Gary every two months.
I just want to have a shiny shuckle and a shiny ditto.
I have a shiny ditto.
He's my favorite.
All right.
We're getting way too off topic here.
All right.
Cool.
Great, great Pokemon talk.
(52:26):
It's been fantastic.
Not sure where else I'm going to go with the Pokemon stuff.
I'll probably, I'll tell you what, I'll get it for switch.
I'll try it out.
It paint me to pay for something that I don't know if I'm going to like or not.
Maybe they have a trial.
Do they ever try to do this?
No.
Yes, I do.
Wait, now, the years telling me yes, you're telling me no.
(52:47):
Yes, they do.
They have the most.
We'll see.
I'll check it out.
And if it is, then, you know, hey, I guess I'll join you.
Why are you so cynical?
Because I didn't want to get this nerdy, but here I am.
Oh, babe, I'm going to blame, I'm blaming Ethan for all this.
(53:08):
For all this, I'm going to start with D&D because he was like, oh, I want to start doing D&D.
And I'm just like, what am I doing?
I want to start, I want to learn.
And then now, and then now I got two books.
I got a third that stuck at the post office that I can't get to.
Ah, stupid.
And I got another book that just delivered today.
(53:30):
You know I can go get the one.
I don't want to make you do all that.
I literally go by the post office to get to one of my stores.
Oh, well, we'll discuss later.
All right, well, there we go.
Ethan, do you have any other questions for Thia or I that maybe we can work on?
This got completely derailed.
I know it did.
(53:51):
It did.
It absolutely did.
Okay, all right, Ethan, we'll we'll we'll we'll chat so we'll follow up.
We'll see how it's going.
We'll work on your, um, on your, your, your profile or whatever.
You're okay.
I think you two pictures already.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
You're almost there.
I need three more.
(54:12):
So get out there and start taking, I start taking some sexy photos or something.
I don't even have pictures like that on my profile.
What sexy photos?
Yeah.
I have a, because you already are.
She doesn't need to do it.
Yeah, what was that?
That was terrible.
There's a net in the room.
It's floating around your head.
Listen to a waffle.
(54:33):
Hey, rude.
All right, Ethan.
We'll hallorat you later.
All right, bye, buddy.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, poor little O'Eath.
And we need to get him a girl or somebody that he can just play Dungeons and Waffles.
Or something.
Can we get me a girl?
I mean, we're on the way there.
(54:54):
We're on the way there.
I want a girl who lives with me.
That's a, I got a girl.
Okay, sorry.
I was thinking you were turning the Pokemon theme into that.
Okay.
All right, cool.
Well, that'll do it for us today.
We'll be back again.
Hopefully next week, maybe some more content.
Maybe we'll need to talk to the break.
(55:15):
I don't know.
We'll see what happens.
Well, cool.
Well, I'm Charlie.
I'm Pia.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
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[Music]
(00:07):
Hey everybody, it is the Chad. Welcome back. We're here.
And we took a little, I'll call it a content break.
Because, you know, why not have a content break? I'm Charlie, by the way.
I'm Theo.
And a content break is something where we take a break and hope...
Shit happens that we can talk about to have content.
Oh, there was a lot of shit that happened. I just...
(00:29):
Really?
Yes.
Oh, well, let's get in to it. Hello everybody. So, yeah, it's been kind of a crazy...
It's been a week, two weeks, something like that.
I think it's been two.
This would be, yeah, so second week, yeah. So, yeah, it's been kind of crazy, but not too bad.
(00:49):
So...
Bite me. I put a thousand miles on my car.
Holy crap, a thousand?
A thousand.
Seriously?
And some change, yes.
Where are you going?
I'm going to...
It was nowhere fun.
Are you going to meet all these dudes? No.
Then you keep braving about?
Braving?
No, braving. I was...
I was like... Whoa. Okay, no. I had a friend that was without a car and was going through
(01:19):
a lot of stuff. So...
Talk about me.
Oh, no, my other person.
Oh, okay.
So...
Maybe you have many friends who are in the same situation as...
Oh, well.
Yeah.
You were taken.
The person I left, they're placed.
Oh.
Yeah. They were without a car for the week, but thankfully it was covered under the warranty.
(01:42):
Oh, okay.
So...
That's good.
Yeah.
But...
Talk about the X, right?
My X? No.
Oh.
Someone else.
No, that guy can fucking...
Okay.
Well, I kind of figured that's where that would go.
So that's why I was kind of shocked a little bit.
I was just like, wow.
Love how you're there for everybody. It's amazing.
Truly.
Well, you know...
(02:03):
Yeah, except for him.
So...
I was there for him for 13 years.
For better, for worse, and then he dumped me. Fuck that, dude.
It's okay. You can move on.
Oh, yeah.
You got...
He gave you permission.
I've probably longed before.
I don't need his permission.
Well, that's good.
I never did.
You didn't get his permission then.
You just...
Yeah, fuck that guy.
(02:24):
He just sort of reveled without a cause.
That was the thing.
So, you know, we were talking about my Crohn's issues and my stomach still kind of been hurting
but not as bad.
The problem is that I wanted a second opinion because a doctor that I went and saw, a
pedallist, was kind of a cock.
You know, he just wasn't...
No, I don't know.
(02:45):
I just...
I wasn't...
I want somebody with a good bedside manner.
Yeah.
I didn't feel that he provided that.
So the next doctor I get down in the city closest to us, down south.
I go see him and he's a cock.
Well...
I get...
You deal with people's stomach issues but don't be a dick about it.
(03:08):
Don't cause them.
Don't cause them absolutely.
So he is contradicting the other doctor and saying, "No, you don't have Crohn's.
You have something else."
Okay.
Okay.
What is that?
I don't understand.
So...
Now, is it bad to want to get a third opinion?
No.
No, it is not.
(03:28):
Because I think I'm going to do that.
I think you should.
But this time I want...
See, this is why...
It's a tie breaker.
You need a tie breaker.
Yeah, exactly.
This is my Supreme Court.
Sort of sorts.
But I need...
This is why I have...
For the most part, I have always had and preferred female doctors just because I...
(03:49):
It's just me being a gay man.
I just prefer that talk, that sense of care, that...
Typically more compassionate.
Yeah, definitely.
So...
I...
Or at least in my experience, they happen.
Yeah.
Look, I mean, I know that there are some doctors out there, female and male who are complete
(04:10):
assholes.
I did it.
Yeah.
You know, they're out there.
But in my experience, if I can find one that is closer to my age, ideally about my
age, because that means that they went straight into medical school right when we got out of school
or went to college for it.
So, yeah, that'd be dope.
Yeah, but there's something to be said for years of experience.
(04:34):
Not when your doctor has a photo of mash hanging on the wall.
Hey, that is a damn good show.
Maybe.
I'd never watched it, but it scared the shit out of me.
I was...
I was...
It was a comedy.
Yeah, that's cool.
But the guy scared me is what I'm saying.
Like he...
He was the doctor because he was very brash and just...
He didn't...
(04:55):
Yeah.
You know, the army type.
Yeah.
That's what he was used to.
He's like, "Get out there soldier, you know, hair."
Yeah.
I don't know if he's got a pig leg or anything, but...
Yeah, I just...
I...
Man, I don't know.
So, I'm gonna have to find a doctor that can talk to me like a person and not a object.
Yeah.
(05:15):
That's how I feel about my...
Dermatologist.
He's a good guy.
He was great.
He was laughing and everything.
He was jovial.
But he didn't give me information.
He's like, "Oh, just don't mess with it."
No, I don't want that.
I want to know why I'm not supposed to mess with.
Like what is...
Exactly.
(05:36):
It's like this thing on my hand.
Do you like a dry spot?
No, no, no, no.
I have plenty of those.
He actually said, "I don't think you have X-men."
I'm just sitting here like, "That's because it's controlled right now."
See, I wonder if that's what this is.
Oh, I have...
Mine was so bad.
Flakes were coming off of my wrist.
(05:57):
It was bad.
Is it there all the time?
But sometimes it just...
Oh, okay.
Well, then maybe this is just a bad transplant.
Mine was not there all the time.
Mine flares up occasionally.
But when it really flares up, it gets so bad.
Like cracks and bleeds.
It's fun.
That just sounds painful.
(06:18):
Well, yeah, definitely that.
Just testing.
See, because sometimes when I...
It's funny you mentioned dermatologists because I got to visit with...
So my dermatologist is in Dallas because there's not one down here in these boom docs where
we're at.
At least that I've been able to find with my insurance.
Yeah.
That's the biggest problem.
But...
(06:38):
Yeah, so I had to go...
I had to go all the way up to Dallas.
Fortunately, they do video visits and so I don't have to go so long as the treatment is
working and everything is kosher.
Gotcha.
But if I have a problem, then I need to go up there.
But going up there, giving my current circumstance, is kind of difficult.
(07:00):
Yeah.
However, that could be changing soon.
Because of the car?
Yeah.
I was about to say, anytime you need it, just give me a heads up.
Bro, we go.
Yeah, I just...
I hate putting you in that position because I just hate putting people in that position.
I hate asking my mom.
Look.
Here's how bad it was, by the way, with my mom.
So when I had to go to the doctor on...
(07:22):
I don't know.
I think it was Wednesday or whenever I had to go down to the city south of us.
My grandmother, whom my mom also takes care of, was all the way up here.
My mom did not pay attention to the invites on her phone and saw what city I had to go to
the doctor in.
(07:42):
She thought it was just up here down the road.
And I said, no, it isn't.
Because what she was going to do was drop me off, go to the Chinese buffet, get food for
my grandma, take it over to her, and then come back to me.
Well, when I told her, no, by the way, we're running 15 minutes late.
I don't know if they're going to see me.
Fortunately, they did.
(08:04):
But my mom took me all the way down there.
Then as soon as I get there, my doctor is on call at the hospital and had to go to the
ER to go see whatever that problem was.
So I'm waiting in the waiting room for him to come back.
My mom leaves, comes all the way back up here, goes to get Chinese food, takes it to my
grandmother, drives all the way back down south.
(08:25):
That is a real mom.
So I had to, yeah, I had to treat her out to some dinner and a Dutch brother.
Because by the first time I'm ever having Dutch bros, she said, I've never been there.
Okay, well, we can take a trip in that Dutch bros.
If you like drinks, I mean, that's all it is.
But it's, oh my God, I love Dutch bros.
(08:45):
It's just amazing.
It's a beautiful place.
But my gastroenterologist would probably say, that's the reason why you're stuck.
It's so screwed up.
So what kind of drinks are we talking about?
So they're known for their coffee.
It's a, I don't drink coffee.
Well, they have a lot more than that.
They got smoothies.
They got sodas.
They got waters.
They got teas.
They got icy slushies.
(09:07):
It's okay.
You had me at teas.
Yeah.
I mean, they got it all.
So my mom got, it's called the OG gummy bear.
And she thought she was going to like it.
But I guess she doesn't like the tangy taste of pomegranate.
She thought she would.
It's, I love pomegranate.
And so I've gotten that one before.
(09:28):
So I told her, it's like, here's what's in it.
Blue raspberry, whatever.
And she was just like, oh, that sounds good.
Yeah, I'll take that.
So they take it as like a sparkling water, right?
And then they put all these different flavors in.
And then you get to choose, you know, do you want cream like, you know, you'd put in coffee,
you want cream in that or do you want whipped cream?
(09:51):
She chose cream.
That's where she fucked up.
Yeah, probably.
Well, but it tamed down a little bit.
The tanginess.
Yeah.
And whipped cream would have done the same and kept the sweetness to it.
But anyway, so she was just like she didn't like it, which was disappointing.
But I told her, and she was so close to getting, and it's not called a frappe there.
(10:13):
It's their version of one.
But I said, you man, you should have just got that.
Like that's what she was dead set on the first place.
So, but she didn't, you know, whatever.
Mom's will be mom's.
I know, I know.
And I told her, I told her, don't second guess yourself.
You're going to be like, oh, this is, this is, I'm looking forward to it.
And then she's going to hate it.
(10:34):
But what was driving her nuts and this kills me about old boomers, fucking boomers.
Why is this place that only sells drinks so popular?
Mom, it's 2023.
It's 2023.
You don't have to have food every place you go these days.
(10:54):
Like they got special.
And like, they, that's how it used to be anyways.
Something used to be separated.
Like shops and we're not talking about segregation.
Yeah, I know.
And leave it to you.
You're like, the black people were over there.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would please explain my history with men.
(11:16):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
You dated quite the colorful rainbow.
Yes, I have.
But yeah, so she was trying to collect the mall.
She spoke a month.
I wish they would poke me.
It sounds like they have in their own way.
We'll get to that in a second.
But I just, yeah, I don't know.
(11:36):
She had just really irritated the shit out of me.
Because I just wanted her to try something new without being judging the fucking place.
But she did anyway.
Anywhere.
I still want to take her back down there.
Plus it worked out.
It was kind of a freebie for me anyway, because I paid for it because I have the app and
I had like 20 bucks on there.
(11:58):
And it's been on there for like two and a half years.
I'm like, I'm never going to use this again.
And then they put one in a pair and I'm like, yes.
Finally, I got to use my $20.
It was great.
It was beautiful.
So anyway, that's just kind of my thing.
How are things, by the way, with you and your ex?
Do I see still?
We talked.
(12:18):
It's a blast, a plus.
And like we get along.
But I am very screwed.
Yeah, I did this.
I am very scared.
Why?
I got to figure out how to make rent and everything.
I don't have that much money coming in.
(12:40):
So I got to figure it out.
And my friend is me.
We're paying rent too.
I'm paying electric.
Oh, the electric, yeah.
But I got to come up with that and I got to come up with money for my storage building.
I got to come up with it.
Is he helping?
He's done.
(13:00):
Is that what you said?
Like he's cut off?
Yeah.
I don't know how I'm going to do any of this.
I have no clue.
I'm making $80 a week right now.
I am so excited.
You need a lotion at those feet, baby.
Fucking for real.
Put them up on that feet finder and be like, look at my toe.
Oh, I have an idea.
(13:23):
Uh-oh.
Googly eyes in your feet.
We're going to make.
Remember stick stickly on Nickelodeon?
No?
Well, he's coming back and he's going to be your big toe.
Oh, my God.
I think that would be hilarious.
He is, fuck.
Having like two little googly eyes on your little big toe.
My little big toe.
Yeah, God, that would be so cute.
We could make him dance.
You could make him jiggle and stuff.
(13:45):
Those moves using my fingers.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
I mean, there's so many options.
This little piggy's buying the bacon.
Listen, if you, we could make like a little commercial.
Oh, my God.
I put it up on YouTube.
Get it everywhere.
Oh, man, that'd be great.
My mind's going wild.
I love your pyrems.
I love your pyrems.
(14:06):
I listen.
Listen, sometimes you got to have a pie in the sky and I'm ready to take a chunk out of
it.
But which, by the way, speaking of chunk, the lottery 1.4 billion.
Jesus.
1.4 billion for Powerball tonight, by the way.
Oh, I thought someone won already.
No, not.
He did the last one, but it seems like every couple of months it just did does this all
(14:28):
over again.
Geez.
So, I mean, if you want to get out of debt, here's a way to try.
Or do you want to get into it?
God.
Depending on what kind of self-control you have, that could be the eight, that could be your
demise, I guess.
You've seen my sex campaigns.
I'm just saying.
And speaking of, I want to get into that a little bit.
(14:50):
So, so do I.
Can we talk?
Can we talk to nugs?
No.
He doesn't want us to call?
No.
Did he just say that again?
He wouldn't.
He wouldn't.
Ask him again right now.
Just say, look, this is going to be anonymous.
The idea, his idea was for us to record and for him to be sending me some of the most fucked
(15:13):
up Smuddy shit.
Well?
That's always an option.
But I want him to, yeah, just Texas say, hey, can we call you?
This will be anonymous.
No one's going to know.
I'm good at protecting you in whatever way he wants.
(15:34):
But this, oh my God, there's so many questions.
So here's the thing, while she's texting him, she came in with him resting on her boobs.
And by that, I mean, he was on speaker phone and a phone were on her tits.
He'll like that.
And I didn't know at first I thought it was someone else and I thought she was having this
conversation with him, but he was actually reaching out to me to say hello as our first
(15:58):
time speaking, by the way.
He said, I about be.
Is, yes, yeah, no idea.
It was talking to me at that time.
I'm not poppy.
It kept, well, listen, it kind of gave me a little wood.
Just saying, little stubby happening down there, but I'm just, you know, I was, I was,
I was a little, little excited, a little turned on.
But he sounds like a fun person who I think would be able to answer a lot of the questions
(16:23):
that I have.
He says his answer is no.
Damn it.
I told you.
He's always ruined in my day.
He fucking did it to me earlier.
He made me cry.
What?
Yeah.
How?
Why?
I don't like him anymore.
What happened?
(16:44):
He was trying to figure out what was actually bothering me, but what was actually bothering
me was the fact that my mom's birthday just passed.
Oh.
Yeah.
That is sad.
Yeah.
So I was, I needed to cry.
He made, I needed to get past that and I just sometimes, well, and sometimes a good, a
(17:04):
good cry is all you need.
And I really honestly, I needed to get past it because I arrogantly thought I was going
to be okay this year.
I don't know why, but I felt it.
Every year do you feel it?
Like, is it getting worse or do you think it's just, it depends.
Does it ever get better?
(17:26):
Probably not.
It depends on the year really.
And this year I'm having an exceptionally shitty year.
And so I just kind of, I was like, I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
And then I went to the hospital that day and then I'm sitting out there and I'm like,
I can't pay for this.
I don't care.
And I'm feeling my heart beating more than it should.
(17:49):
I'm feeling it, or I'm feeling it more than I should.
Yeah.
It's a weighing on you more.
Yeah.
And I was, I was debating going to the ER because of that and a couple of other things going
on.
And then finally I was like, I'm just sitting there and I'm like, fuck it, I'm going home.
I don't want to pay this bill.
Did you tell them before you pieced out?
(18:11):
Who?
It was in the hospital.
I'm gone.
Oh, and I haven't gone anywhere.
Oh, okay.
So you're sitting in the car and I was like, do I really want to pay this?
I do.
I really want to pay this.
I'm already getting calls and collections from the ones I just went to earlier this year.
Hold on.
Are you not on his insurance anymore?
(18:31):
We didn't have insurance at a certain point because he was switching jobs.
Well, yeah, but you went since he got the new job.
Yeah.
And they covered their part and now they're asking for more money and I don't have it.
Oh, so like the deductible type part of his.
I already paid my deductible.
And then they paid their part and now they're still left over.
(18:57):
See that's the insurance company's man.
They are so fucked up.
They'll do anything to drain you.
And I, I just don't have it.
Yeah.
I love getting collection calls.
I'm like, dude, I'm not going to bullshit you.
And let me tell you, RoboKiller saved my life.
Oh shit.
It's not even that.
I'm straightforward and honest with them.
(19:18):
I'm like, yeah, this is all my information.
I have nothing to give you.
I cannot promise you that I will pay anything because I have nothing.
Yeah.
I think their job is to assume that all you're doing is lying to them.
Well, a lot of times you can tell.
And the woman that I was talking to, like I broke down crying.
I was like, look, I don't know when I'll have money.
(19:42):
And I told her a little bit about my situation.
I was like, I'm not in a good place.
I'm like, it's just not doable.
And she's like, I understand.
I'm going to put this in your file.
And I hope you have a better day, honey.
Like she was, it felt genuine.
Yeah.
Well, it'll be, you know, I don't know.
(20:03):
I don't know.
I guess every one of those places is different.
I know a lot of them, they do kind of come back and say, OK, well, if you get, you know,
thea to pay, you know, X amount of dollars, it'll be commission for you on, you know.
Well, they asked, she asked if I could do $20 a month.
And I'm like, I'm not be asking you when I say I cannot promise that.
(20:28):
Is there any lower payment?
Because I could do like $5 a month.
And I might be able to pull that off.
And regardless of anything else, I'll make that happen.
Yeah.
But where are they working with you on that one or she was like, that's the lowest I can offer
you.
And that's the lowest I can approve is $20.
And she's like, I understand.
(20:49):
I appreciate you talking to me.
And I wasn't hostile.
I wasn't anything like that.
I was very honest.
I was very calm.
And I was like, look, this is just where I am.
And she's like, OK, well, I'll put in here to reach out to you at a different time.
And like, yeah.
Yeah, see, I just, I don't know.
(21:10):
Those people just always kind of, it's a little shady to me or can be.
And I already have a very low cost of living.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Man, well, you know, hopefully, you know, things will get better.
Maybe it'll stick in.
I'm going to lottery, man.
Maybe.
If you don't play, you don't know.
(21:32):
Well, like, we have a good idea that we know.
We have a good idea that we know what to know.
We might need to go get tickets then because the jack pocket app.
But does it have?
I don't understand.
Yeah, the jack pocket.
I thought I sent you the link.
(21:54):
Anyway, so I, it's super cool because you get.
You can do it all from the app and they actually go out and get the physical tickets.
They put your name on it, tie it to you.
You take a picture of your IDs and it uploaded to the app and your profile.
But yeah, it's super nice.
I mean, what happens if someone wins that?
(22:16):
They get it to you securely.
Do they get a cut?
No.
The only part that they get is whenever you buy a ticket, they get like, like, I don't
think it's like 50 cents, 45 cents per ticket or something or per.
So like, I think if you buy $10 worth of tickets, you'd pay for the app $12.32.
(22:41):
So yeah, that's all they get from it.
They don't get a cut of any of your money.
Yeah, it's pretty nice and scary because it's gotten me hooked on it a little too much.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Speaking of getting hooked on it, what about those men that are hooked on your G spot?
(23:01):
God, I wish they were.
Are you still passing out that key?
Passing out that key.
Yeah, the key to your, you know, key.
Oh, but the visuals.
Yeah, sorry.
I'm just.
The screwdriver.
Listen, I did this all I have.
(23:22):
It's in my hands of just, you know.
Give me a little head.
Is it like a, yeah, like a tea spot?
Oh my God.
Number one, you don't hook it like it's a fish.
There are some penises at her hook though.
What?
Someone like just hooking into my G spot makes me want to vomit.
(23:42):
I don't know why.
That's.
Yeah.
If they, you don't hook.
Oh my God.
I don't, oh my God.
That is such a visual.
Have you ever been with a guy that's been hooked like that?
It's like you haven't.
No, no, I haven't.
Who would, okay, hold on here.
I've been with someone who does brush up against it every time they stroke in and out.
That's great.
(24:03):
But it's not like a hook.
It's so I'm confused.
Is it like a hook, but not as defined?
They were large.
Oh, so it was just.
Curthy.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, what about someone who just punched that button every time?
Have you ever had that?
Yes.
They make toys like that.
Yes.
(24:24):
Yes and yes.
But you don't have to go that far up in there to do that though, right?
Like seriously, like two knuckles, roughly.
Okay.
So then why is it that, that chicks seemingly are into guys that just want these big
dogs?
Like what's the point?
Some people like the cervix, the cervix crusher.
(24:46):
It is what it is.
It's the cervix crusher.
I love it.
There are several names that someone in particular came up with that just fucking made me
die laughing.
So in theory.
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
(25:06):
Oh, shit.
Oh, everybody.
I was trying to find the, the, the, the, what?
Are you looking for a toy?
No, what's the look you're rebounding at my toys?
No, I wasn't.
No, I was looking for a thing.
I got to be my tool bag.
I was looking for the measuring tape.
That's accurate.
Yeah.
To have it in your tool bag.
(25:27):
Well, because I was thinking like if, if it's just that far in, then really a guy like,
four and up is all you need.
Yeah.
To get there.
Yeah, but that's what people don't fucking understand is yeah, it does not matter about
size.
It matters about how you get it.
And also your willingness.
(25:48):
That's a good one too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could, yeah.
Well, but then also the same thing goes for guys.
The for, for, for gay guys like when it comes to like anal sex, right?
Because the, the, the prostate is not far in there.
It's about where the G spot is in terms of the other end.
It's just, wait, where is it at?
(26:08):
Hold on.
I'm facing this way.
Is it that way?
I'm picturing how all this looks right now.
Nobody can see anything, but I'm just saying that I'm thinking.
It looks like you're giving finger puppet.
I know.
I'm just, I'm a shadow.
Is that, is this it?
(26:29):
Yeah.
No, I don't know, but it's anyway point is it's not that far in.
It's, it's just, it's just, you know, just, just, you know, just skipping a jump just around
the river band.
You know, but the honest son of a best.
Jesus.
All right.
So we need to call somebody on.
Banshee dragon is his name.
I don't know if he's going to want us to, to call him that and it doesn't really matter
(26:51):
because I'm going to call him that anyway, but let's just go ahead and give him a ringy
being.
Oh, oh.
Oh.
(Banshee singing)
Now watch him not answer.
He's supposed to be driving.
Hello?
(27:11):
Hello, Banshee.
Hello?
What's up?
Are you driving?
No, I'm home.
Oh.
Oh, hi.
Yeah.
These, these here.
So, okay.
Well, cool.
So you're free then.
I love it.
So hold on.
What are you doing?
The, the phone's cutting in and out.
(27:31):
Um, that is just my apartment.
That's how she needs a service.
Jesus.
H. Mary mother and Joseph.
Same though.
I know.
I know.
So, hold on.
You were at a, did you go to a gender reveal today?
Is that what you were doing?
Yes.
How did they reveal it?
What was the method?
Uh, a pumpkin.
(27:51):
Uh, they pumpkin with a little pumpkin inside, painted blue.
Aww.
That's good.
(Banshee laughing)
James Facebook.
Say, give me a coke on it.
Oh my god.
That's hilarious.
So, okay.
Well, that's cute.
I've never thought about that.
That's just kind of, kind of sweet.
That is really cute.
Who, who was this in relation to you though?
(28:14):
My brother and his wife.
Oh.
(Banshee laughing)
I, we're not laughing at that.
We're laughing because she actually conveniently handed me a coke, which I did need a
refill, so that kind of worked out perfect.
Um, so, very nice.
Very nice.
Very nice.
So, so here's, here's something.
First off, we, we definitely need to catch up on.
Is, uh, what is the status of your dating life and, and all the, the different apps and
(28:40):
stuff that you're on?
What's going on with that?
Right now I'm talking to nobody.
What about, what?
Oh, I thought you were talking to some Virginia chick.
Yes, we were talking a few weeks.
Oh, well, she doesn't respond, but.
Saturday.
I mean, she hasn't responded.
(29:01):
What?
She didn't respond to you?
No.
I mean, she did.
Tommy Happy Birthday.
Tommy Birthday.
Oh, that's a happy birthday.
That's a happy birthday.
Thanks.
So, you're not talking to anybody.
You're in, and, okay, well, you know, that's sweet.
How many different apps are you on?
(29:22):
Uh, Facebook dating, meet me and POS.
Oh, I just got him on plenty of fish.
He wasn't on that before.
I thought that, is this, this people still use that, don't they?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to cost like 10 bucks a month.
No, they have a free version.
Yeah, they do have a free version.
So, you're automatically on that.
Have you found anybody or started talking to anybody or used it?
(29:45):
No.
Well, I've used it, but I haven't started talking to anybody.
No, bansch.
Why not?
Nobody responds.
We need to, you just need to get me your login and, and, and let, be a go through your
stuff.
Oh, no.
I'm not going through anybody's stuff.
(30:05):
Oh, okay.
It'll be helpful.
Two tacos first.
Two tacos.
Wow.
This bitch is really trying to get two tacos in order to help with profile on your dating
profile.
I just want two tacos, man.
I love tacos.
Oh, my God.
I was born on Taco Tuesday.
(30:26):
All right.
Well, we'll just, okay.
No, seriously, I, not without consent.
That's all I'm going to say.
I mean, I would, I, I've been helping with it.
I think it might need a little tweaking.
I will also, I can tell you which apps I'm on.
(30:48):
Oh, you know what, bansch.
You should send me like five photos of like your face and like, maybe like some body shots.
And I'm going to upload those to the AI app and see what kind of cool AI images it'll
come up with and you can post those on your profile.
(31:09):
That's not entirely cat fishing.
Like it's still you.
Right.
I mean, I'm just saying, you know, so hold on.
So something else that I wanted to get into and I know that you were, you were dying to.
So bansch is a guy who works and helps other people who have disabilities physically, mentally
(31:34):
disabled adults.
And that's why he's friends with us exactly.
Fuck.
Exactly.
So I knew it was there somewhere.
I would.
Yeah.
My question is, would you be able to tell us some of the things that have happened?
(31:59):
I know that you had one story that you had been dying to tell me.
With a violating hip up.
Yeah, without violating hip up.
Oh, this.
I can't tell these stories.
You were going to tell me the other day and I told you no wait for the podcast.
That was a few weeks ago.
(32:21):
Yeah.
Well, here's the thing.
As long as you're not violating hip up, it should be fine.
Which in theory is just leaving out names, places and identifiers.
Yeah.
Any identifiers?
I thought I was going to get a data one client.
I was just walking in.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
(32:41):
That's that.
Yeah.
Tell me about that one.
What happened?
Oh, I sent you the picture of the toilet.
Oh.
Fucker.
Let me tell you.
We're playing a game.
And which by the way, this is where I know, Ben, just where I know in front we played video
games together.
This motherfucker always has stories about shit that goes down.
(33:03):
No pun intended with what's stuff that he does.
Sounds like shit did not go down that day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, but however, there was some really gross things that he had.
Because on top of taking care of him, he has to clean up after him.
This asshole sent me a picture of this guy's toilet in the bathroom that I swear.
(33:28):
He doesn't, whoever the guy is that he's taking care of doesn't aim before he goes and sits
down on the toilet.
He just goes as he's sitting down on the toilet.
Like it was, it was, hey, by the way, if you're eating, I apologize to definitely skip this
part.
So, yeah, that happened to end.
And what else?
(33:48):
How else was the house?
Oh my gosh.
The side of his bed is covered in shit.
Oh my God.
The side of the bed.
How was that?
Yes.
How was, what?
Oh, and a few zoom in after, and look at the base of the toilet, you'll be able to see
a turd sitting there.
Oh my God.
That's just, how is that considered safe for him to live in?
(34:13):
It's not.
Yeah, like you have to, you have to report that though, don't you?
Yeah, but nothing ever gets done so there's really no point in reporting it or making it
a notice to the company because they don't do anything.
Wow.
Yeah, but still see why I make the report.
Cover your ass.
(34:34):
Yeah.
So, what else other than, other than that, like what else has been going on with that guy?
Oh, that's it.
He's just a nasty, nasty person.
So the thing I always ask him is, has he ever had a guy ask him if, would you finish me
(34:58):
off or would you give me a, yeah, would you give me a little reach around?
Oh my God.
Didn't you say that you had one guy who asked you if you watched porn?
Yeah, that was the other day.
That's with people.
I know.
And the funny part is that they're asking Ethan here who, by far, doesn't do, he doesn't
(35:20):
watch porn.
He's still a virgin.
He's, you know, he's a relative.
He's a sweet, well, well, well, ish.
Yeah, he's a sweet little angle.
That's a big, yeah, that's a big ish.
I don't know if I'd go with angel, but yeah, he's definitely an angel.
(35:41):
Um, the other thing that people were asking you was if, or asked you often, if people,
you know, on top of, has anyone ever asked you to finish them off, was you had a guy ask
you about watching porn?
You've had a guy ask you about, did you say that they asked you about finishing you off
(36:02):
or what?
No.
Oh, okay.
Maybe I was just hoping that somebody asked him that.
Just, I, dude, the other day I was doing laundry and someone asked about my, um, considerable
top heaviness.
Your, your large breast disease.
Yes.
Yes.
(36:22):
Uh, and I'm like, I need to cover up now.
Wow.
What did they say to you?
We were just having a normal conversation and all of a sudden he's, he's like, I could
just suck on those titties all day long.
And I'm like, oh my god.
Are you serious?
Where to God?
(36:42):
I am not going back to that laundromat.
Oh my god.
Oh god.
Ethan, would you ever ask a girl like that if you were at the laundromat?
Maybe on all of the, in 180, probably.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, when you got to lose at that point, this dude was in his 60s.
He's like, and he straight up told me that.
(37:03):
He's like, I'm 58 about to be 60.
And he's like, I'm still going.
I would love to be, and I'm like, oh my god.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's, see, that's stupid young because my dad is 70.
Dude, this guy.
That's creepy.
That's, I don't even know.
What did you say?
17 kids.
(37:24):
I'm sure he does.
I'm, he probably doesn't even know half of him.
What, what, yeah, he's probably registered too.
Uh, probably.
That's probably why he didn't care.
He makes $10 a day cleaning up that laundromat, though.
$10 a day.
A day.
Wow.
Exploitation much.
He must be, he's in there for one hour in the Jets.
Oh, he's in there for about four hours a day.
(37:45):
Staring, I guess.
Gawking, yes.
Oh, god, it was so, oh my god.
That's just, that's good.
He's like, how big are they?
And I'm like, and I'm answering questions just because I'm like, I don't know what else
to do right now.
See, this is what I wish you would have just had the wherewithal to just hit record on
your phone.
Oh, god, you wouldn't have been able to hear much because it's so loud in there.
(38:08):
But next time I'll try to man next time next time next time I'm getting assaulted.
Yeah, next time.
Burmally.
I will pause.
Yeah, here.
Hold on one second, sir.
Yeah, she's excited about that.
She's looking for hold on one second.
I need to record this assault.
Where do I find my memo app?
(38:31):
Voice.
Can you say that again into the microphone right here?
Hi, Google.
Open up.
Voice, my mouse.
Oh my gosh.
So, either what else has been going on in your world?
Do you have any questions for Thia?
Because I know you mentioned before that you might have a couple of questions or at least
(38:52):
things you wanted to ask her.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I remember those now.
Damn it, Ethan.
We get you here.
We get you on the spot and you can't even produce.
He's just blinded by my beauty.
Yeah, that's what it is.
He's blinded by your beauty.
Yeah, I think he's, I think he saw a picture of you when I said him one of me, it was you
(39:15):
in the background when we were at Lowe's, I think.
Well, I just got my hair here.
Oh, I have to, oh well, okay.
Yeah, he has no clue what you look like.
He is blinded by my beauty then.
Yeah, see exactly.
Well, you know, I think it would be fun to kind of, we have to just play like a dating round
or something with all Ethan and see if we can't find him somebody.
(39:38):
So, hold on, let me ask you this.
What type of girl is it that you look for?
Like what are the must-haves?
What are the traits?
Can't pull me on the spot like that, man.
(40:02):
Take your time.
Take your time.
It's not like we're recording a podcast or anything.
How about I tell you some of my must-haves?
How about you just describe yourself, we'll see if he matches.
Oh my God.
I got big tips, is that enough?
Bingo.
That's the, that's the right in the middle of that bingo car.
That's the free space.
(40:23):
That's it.
That's it.
No, seriously, like what?
He really depends on the personality.
Really personality?
Like you're, you're going to go over the personality.
Like you got to have physical attraction though, yeah?
No, you're not necessarily.
You're talking about personality.
Yeah.
Sam.
I'd rather have personality than luck.
(40:47):
For me, yes, very much the same.
Have you seen my exes?
Well, your most recent one's hot.
Yeah, and if you ask him, he'll tell you that too.
That's kind of a problem.
Oh, so you're saying that we should just be with ugly people?
I mean.
So, for with ugly people then.
I mean a chance, sir.
(41:07):
Man, see, but that's how you know like in the gay community, it just is no bueno.
Is that sadly?
That's kind of how it is.
It's just all about looks and they're very gay guys, man.
They're very vain.
That's how I can tell Ethan is straight as a doornale because he just straight to personality.
(41:28):
Honestly, I can I can deal with a lot, but if you are an asshole to me, if you treat me
like shit, I'm not going to want to be anywhere near you.
What?
And that makes sense.
And I've blocked people because of it and one of them was hot.
Like stupid hot.
See, but we don't need any of these Andrew Tater tots who think that they are God's gift
(41:53):
to women, you know, roaming the streets.
Like I just think people like that are just so disgusting and just shit face.
Like, you know, like why?
For me, another thing that really sets me off is like if they can make intelligent conversation
because I'm not the smartest.
(42:13):
No, but I am pretty smart.
And if oh my God, one of them made a fucking joke.
Oh my God, I can't even remember what it was.
Oh, boron.
Boron was the punchline and I'm like, you know, boron, periodic table, element.
(42:35):
I was so wet.
Wow, man, that's all it took.
I like a periodic table and then I love nerds.
Man, look at you.
Geeks are better.
Do I?
Geeks are better.
Nerds not the most.
I like nerds.
I like geeks.
I like dorks.
I like dweebs.
What motherfucker?
(42:56):
You want to what?
What?
You worked on that one, didn't you?
What?
What's the difference between a geek and a nerd?
Nerds are smart.
Geeks have hobbies like magic, video games that.
D and D.
I like both.
Oh, so you're a, you're a gird.
That's actually why the ex was over here last time because we were so different.
(43:19):
Yes, Gerard.
No, I do.
So does Ethan.
We're like old people here.
This is awesome.
Well, now we were splitting up the magic cards and I gave him a couple of my decks because
he literally came in with like two decks and I came in with two boxes.
I've never played magic so I don't know.
(43:41):
It's good.
It's fun about any of this.
I'm just not getting into d and d so I'm, I'm channeling my inner nerd.
I geek.
My bad.
I've played d and d once but my d and m.
Torment of magic, do you play?
Hmm.
Torment of magic, do you play?
I've just been doing like original like OG.
I have not gotten into commander.
(44:02):
That's all I play.
So hold on.
So for somebody who's never ever touched it, pretend that's me.
What, how would you describe this game?
All the only thing I know about it is that cards are involved.
Okay.
It is.
But the lot like you're here and folks that doesn't have it.
I'm still over.
(44:22):
I'm still have no clue.
Okay.
How about this?
You are going against a magical army that you have, you have your own magical army but
you have to get out the proper cards to summon them.
So for like say, some of the red and blacks are a really small man of cost to pull out.
(44:48):
Okay.
You would need like two.
I'll show you later too.
But you would need like the amount of lands to pay for them to come out into play to
defend you.
The good thing is while you're building your little baby army, so are they.
(45:08):
So you build up your army over time and then you attack relentlessly.
And there are magic cards to protect you.
There are traps.
There are spells.
There are artifacts.
There are like all kinds of stuff that are just fun with a little kushamam.
It's a lot of fun.
(45:28):
I will show you later so you will have a visual representation as well.
All right.
So Ethan.
What else?
Did you get any of them?
No.
No.
I'm just.
You glazed.
You glazed.
I moved on.
I'm missing so many things but I'm so excited about it because I haven't been able to play
(45:49):
with anyone in it so long.
So I'm like.
Well, is it something that like you and Ethan could like form like kind of like a D&D
like a campaign you could do like over zoom or something?
Yeah.
Can you just throw it down cards to.
But he plays commander.
I don't.
What's the difference?
So commander you have 99 cards that's including land.
(46:10):
Well, you have 100 cards but 99 and library your 100th card which is your commander sits
off and that's own little part of the table.
And you can summon your commander when you have the right amount on a manna or what not.
I have played it a couple of times but I think it's not my thing.
(46:31):
And you can only have one copy of each spell.
Yeah, that's why it's not my thing.
Or in virtual land.
That's why it's not my thing because I like to screw people over repeatedly with the same
card.
God.
I don't know what ruthless that.
I am not ruthless.
I am a sweetheart.
(46:52):
Oh, I'm ruthless and magic.
Oh, God.
He's also.
He's also ruthless.
He's also ruthless.
I have a one turn before my commander.
My first commander deck that I put a couple hundred and two and I was 5 silver as it was
like 30 grand is what I could get from the deck.
(47:14):
I was able to just in one turn upkeep.
I was dealing 60,000 damage just in upkeep.
Fuck.
Holy shit.
Yeah, dragon.
So what I was running.
God bless.
So did you sell it?
No, when I was in Florida, somebody stole it out of the magic shop that I was playing at.
(47:42):
Oh, I've heard so many stories like that that is so sad.
See, but that's where someone like me who has no idea.
If I were to see some of that shit, I would just, I wouldn't know.
I'd just be like, it's a card.
Yeah, I probably throw it away.
Well, just by the pre-con commander that I had is $600 just to buy it again.
(48:04):
Well, look at this way.
Charlie, if someone were to go into your studio and steal a mic, yeah.
We don't understand.
They mean that what it would be the same.
I would be like, just a mic.
What's the big deal?
Yeah.
So that's your just a card.
So to you, it holds significant value to us.
(48:26):
We're like, oh, it's a microphone.
Okay.
So get me wrong.
I do love mics.
To play into this geek dumb thing is this kind of like the whole Pokemon thing that just
for some, I don't know why, but is now popular again?
This was before it, but yes.
Okay.
(48:47):
So why is Pokemon card so popular again?
I want to be the fair.
Have you seen them?
They're fucking adorable.
But also every year, like every year or two, new games are getting released.
So play other games.
So, yes, so do I.
But not as much as I've seen.
See, if you could tell me that there was a Pokemon game where I could just go around,
(49:12):
not follow a storyline and just like catch the Pokemon.
There are.
Yeah, Pokemon, let's go Eevee and Pikachu.
Yep.
You just run around capturing Pokemon without having to battle and gyms or anything.
And the new Pokemon Legends of Archaeus, there is a story to it, but you just run around,
(49:34):
do different tasks and stuff.
There's no like right way to play them.
So even the new, even the new Scarlet and Violet, but some open world now you can go to any gym first.
Okay.
Any reason you don't have to do a little side quest.
(49:56):
So hold on.
So are these phones, like phone apps or are they like Nintendo?
What Nintendo switch?
Okay.
So what are the ones that you were saying that I could do?
Legends of Archaeus.
Let's go Eevee, let's go Pikachu, Violet and Scarlet.
The new Violet and Scarlet.
Oh, okay.
(50:17):
Well then I'll try that.
Yeah.
So look at that.
So look at that.
You, you, you, you, man, my room is getting out of it.
Be key to you by the moment.
I'm too a Pokemon go.
I fucking love that game.
I told you the only time that I played Pokemon go was when I was sitting on the toilet and I was catching my first Pokemon.
And that was because he was right where I was and I haven't played it since.
(50:39):
I have, I have a Pikachu named after you.
Remember I caught it with you several years ago.
No, I don't remember that.
Sorry.
When you went to Dallas and you picked me up when we were going around and I was like, hold on, hold on.
I'm going to talk to him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the good old days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(51:00):
No, I kind of, I'm kind of treating him.
I'm pulling to my end to the moment.
What are you playing?
No, he's literally cheating.
I have a link that connects to the app so I can spoof my location to anywhere.
So right now I'm over in New York even though I live in Michigan.
You bitch.
(51:21):
Wow.
I was going to Charlie.
I was going to Charlie if you want.
We'll see.
Listen.
Are you on iPhone or Android?
I want iPhone.
Oh, then I won't work.
Yeah.
But also I don't want to get my account banned.
I, the fear.
You only get banned if you get, if you move, uh,
(51:43):
it's a location too many times.
Well, if you get caught, yeah.
How long have you been in New York?
Almost a year now.
Yeah.
Time to move.
See, I want to go to like all the different countries and get the regional Pokemon.
Like that's what I wanted to do when they first had them out.
(52:05):
But I don't know.
I'm just my Gary every two months.
I just want to have a shiny shuckle and a shiny ditto.
I have a shiny ditto.
He's my favorite.
All right.
We're getting way too off topic here.
All right.
Cool.
Great, great Pokemon talk.
(52:26):
It's been fantastic.
Not sure where else I'm going to go with the Pokemon stuff.
I'll probably, I'll tell you what, I'll get it for switch.
I'll try it out.
It paint me to pay for something that I don't know if I'm going to like or not.
Maybe they have a trial.
Do they ever try to do this?
No.
Yes, I do.
Wait, now, the years telling me yes, you're telling me no.
(52:47):
Yes, they do.
They have the most.
We'll see.
I'll check it out.
And if it is, then, you know, hey, I guess I'll join you.
Why are you so cynical?
Because I didn't want to get this nerdy, but here I am.
Oh, babe, I'm going to blame, I'm blaming Ethan for all this.
(53:08):
For all this, I'm going to start with D&D because he was like, oh, I want to start doing D&D.
And I'm just like, what am I doing?
I want to start, I want to learn.
And then now, and then now I got two books.
I got a third that stuck at the post office that I can't get to.
Ah, stupid.
And I got another book that just delivered today.
(53:30):
You know I can go get the one.
I don't want to make you do all that.
I literally go by the post office to get to one of my stores.
Oh, well, we'll discuss later.
All right, well, there we go.
Ethan, do you have any other questions for Thia or I that maybe we can work on?
This got completely derailed.
I know it did.
(53:51):
It did.
It absolutely did.
Okay, all right, Ethan, we'll we'll we'll we'll chat so we'll follow up.
We'll see how it's going.
We'll work on your, um, on your, your, your profile or whatever.
You're okay.
I think you two pictures already.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
You're almost there.
I need three more.
(54:12):
So get out there and start taking, I start taking some sexy photos or something.
I don't even have pictures like that on my profile.
What sexy photos?
Yeah.
I have a, because you already are.
She doesn't need to do it.
Yeah, what was that?
That was terrible.
There's a net in the room.
It's floating around your head.
Listen to a waffle.
(54:33):
Hey, rude.
All right, Ethan.
We'll hallorat you later.
All right, bye, buddy.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, poor little O'Eath.
And we need to get him a girl or somebody that he can just play Dungeons and Waffles.
Or something.
Can we get me a girl?
I mean, we're on the way there.
(54:54):
We're on the way there.
I want a girl who lives with me.
That's a, I got a girl.
Okay, sorry.
I was thinking you were turning the Pokemon theme into that.
Okay.
All right, cool.
Well, that'll do it for us today.
We'll be back again.
Hopefully next week, maybe some more content.
Maybe we'll need to talk to the break.
(55:15):
I don't know.
We'll see what happens.
Well, cool.
Well, I'm Charlie.
I'm Pia.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
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