September 3, 2025 • 31 mins
An overweight friend thinks she looks sexy in a bikini, onlookers say otherwise forcing her friends to make her feel better at the end of the day. A husband decides he wants to end his marriage...until he lost his job. Suddenly he calls it off. Can you guess the wife's response? A family member gets upset because another won't change her life to babysit their kid. Would you when a $25 childcare is available?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to that's based Happy Wednesday. It's unsolicited advice. I'm
your host as always, Caleb Savator, reporting from Somewhere Underground
and brought to you by Outlast Streamers and our friends
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(00:29):
a little party this weekend, but I don't, well, maybe
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at the checkout. All right, well, we're laughing our way
(01:11):
through the end of days over here, Stock called me
o the white red Face of white Supremacy has found
some stories online for us that we're going to react to.
There's some folks that need a little bit of help,
but they don't want it from an asshole like me.
Thus the unsolicited segment of the show. What do you
have to say? Any any previews for these stories you
(01:33):
got here?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Um, you've got very entitled parents with their kids, So
that's an interesting one.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That one really pissed me off.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Love, that's what I want to do is get angry.
There we go, all right, Well, happy Wednesday. Remember we
are temporarily shifting to two shows a week during the
NFL season because I have a paid spot on there
and books show which should be airing tomorrow or yeah
to winn say yeah so tomorrow Thursday, if you check
that out Friday at the latest. Can't pass up the
Monday this time a year and I don't have time
(02:10):
to go on the air any more than that at
the time or at the current moment. So let's go
to this first one. Here. Am I the asshole from
a deleted account, which is always a good sign. Am
I the asshole for asking my friend to wear a
more flattering bikini throwaway probvious reasons. My friends are really
split about this, so I'd like some input. My friends
and I rented a yacht for a bachelorette party. One
(02:32):
of my friends. Oh, yeah, you're getting cheated on. If
your wife has a bacheloret has a bachelorette party on
a yacht, you're getting If your girl goes on a
yacht or any boat for that matter, that you are
not on, you are getting cheated on. That's the important
thing you need to remember from this. If you take
nothing else from this, women plus boat equals adultery every time,
(02:54):
one hundred percent of the time. There's no denying it.
Because my friends and I rented a yacht for a
bachelorette party. One of my friends is getting married. There
are seven of us, but a lot of people are
coming to the party. One of my friends, let's call
her Toy, is a larger woman, around three hundred pounds. Okay,
So I was watching the Nebraska football game last Thursday.
(03:16):
It made me very upset. Cincinnati had a defensive tackle
named Dante Corleone, black guy named Corleone. Go figure that out.
But he was three hundred pounds. So this woman's the
size of a Power five noseguard. I want to put
that into perspective. Something tells me she doesn't move as
(03:37):
well as this guy, though not quite as majestic. Shall
we say she loves how she looks, She is happy
with her weight? She shouldn't be. She shouldn't Why do
we Why do we let the fatties get away with this?
And when I say fatties, I don't mean ninety percent
of us that could afford to drop fifteen twenty pounds.
(03:58):
I'm talking people that are built like NFL noseguards. Why
do we let them get away with this? We tell
she loves the way she looks. We're all so happy
for that. She's so secure. You shouldn't be. If your
friend was shooting heroin, would you treat them the same way?
Because I'm I tell you right now, heart disease kills
way more people in this country than heroin overdoses do,
(04:20):
So you better straighten your priorities out, says, all of
us love her. We have been friends for years. Last
year we went to a couple of pool parties the
beach or the beach together. Each time Tory wore this
really unflattering, barely their string bikini. So here's my question.
Was it a string bikini or was it just a
normal sized bikini that her folds swallowed. I think we
(04:46):
need content. I don't want to see it because I
just ate and I don't want to lose my lunch
for breakfast. But I need I need to know what
this was. I mean because the way you make it sound,
you could throw you ever see that movie grown Ups,
Remember David Spade's ugly daughter that he puts in the
(05:07):
one piece? You could sounds like you could throw Tory
in something like that and she'd still swallow it up
like a string bikini. Tory might be able to swallow
a bunny from what's that show? Mary of Kingstown's PARKA
like a string bikini, by the way you make it sound, says.
Each time, she got a lot of rude stares and
(05:30):
negative comments. We always ended the how fat is this girl?
I mean, like, look, you guys know I'm an asshole.
I have seen some repulsive people who are committing the
cardinal sin, in my opinion, which is dressing for the
body they want, not the body they have. And I've
been heavily intoxicated and kept my comments to myself. How
(05:50):
disgusting must this woman be that they're just receiving multiple
negative comments wherever they go, like do when you walk by?
Did people shield their children's eyes? That's what I want
to know. We always ended the evening consoling her, yet
she wore it several times. Okay, well, she loved her
body so much, then why does she need consoling? Obviously
she knows something was wrong. If I got a tattoo
(06:13):
that I truly just loved, just loved this tattoo, but
all these everyone hated it. Everyone hated it but me
and I walked around and I'd go out in public
and people be like, look at that hideous tattoo. I
wouldn't need consoling. If I truly loved the tattoo, If
I truly love this shirt that I was wearing that
I was so proud of, I wouldn't need consoling. She
(06:34):
needs consoling because she knows she's wrong. The same way
the trans will have a mental breakdown when someone calls
them he when someone says, no, you were born a man,
You're going to die a man. It may aggravate or
irritate a biological woman, but it won't cause them an
existential crisis. The same way, if you talk shit about
my tattoo that I'm so proud of, it might irritate me,
(06:55):
but it won't cause me an existential crisis, because at
the bottom of my heart, I truly do enjoy it.
She doesn't actually like her way right. She wants She
wants all the plus sides, not plus size, the plus
side of eating like a slob and treating her body
like a landfill with none of the negative side effects,
which is people staring at you like you're the swamp creature.
(07:18):
That's okay, so it goes me. The bride and another
friend want to have like an intervention about the bikini,
then we can all go shopping for new ones together.
Our other three friends think that this makes us assholes
and that we're body shaming her, which is good. We
need to bring body shaming back. We are in an
obesity crisis in this country, and the best way we
(07:41):
can do it is just shame people, shame people into
losing weight. Do you know what I would do, miya,
if I were a governor or a mayor. You know
they do like a syntax on cigarettes and gambling or
if you're gonna go or buy or alcohol or whatever
you're gonna go, do it, you gotta pay a little
bit extra. I would do a sindtax on plus sized clothing.
(08:04):
I would literally, if you're obese, I would make you
pay the government for the privilege of being obese, because
that's what it is. I would actually charge you a
fee to the government to make you lose weight, so
you have to pay the shame tax every time you
swipe your credit card at the clothing store, says me.
And I'd make you step on a scale before you
(08:25):
bought sugary food. And I'm kidding about that part, says me.
The brider says, we're body shaming her, so we shouldn't
do it. They say we should. She should wear whatever
she wants. I personally think that this is the bride's party.
People should be focused on her instead of Tory. And
it would not be a big deal if Torri got
a swimsuit. Help us settle that. If we told her
to wear a more flattering swimsuit, would we be the assholes? No,
(08:46):
you wouldn't be the assholes. If you told her, hey,
can you cover up a little bit? Can you dress
for the body you have, not the body you want?
Work for the body you want, but don't dress for
the body you want? Could you cover up? You would
be the assholes. If you threw her off the boat
and told her to imitate a beluga whale when you
got on the yacht, that would be the assholes. That
(09:08):
would make you the asshole. If you did a reenactment
of Moby Dick in your bachelorette pictures, that would make
you the asshole. Not that they're like fat people oceans.
The whale jokes are gonna get made. There's no avoiding it.
And I want to be clear when I make these
(09:28):
fat jokes. I don't hate obese people. I genuinely don't.
Some of my good friends are well overweight and they
need to lose weight, and I remind them of that
all the time, because I was about forty pounds heavier
when we started this show, and you guys harassed me
about it in the comments, over and over and over
and over again, and I dropped a bunch of weight,
and then I put a little bit of weight back on,
(09:49):
but that weight was muscle, and then I started dropping
weight again. So, you guys, the bullying and the fat
shaming actually worked on me. I think it's very effective.
That's why I do it. Work out just so I
can fat shame people at this point. But no, I
think it's very effective. I think we need to bring
it back. I do it from a point of love
because I want you to live a longer and healthier life. Truly,
(10:12):
I'm not doing it because I get joy out of
bullying fat people. Maybe a little bit, but like ninety
seven percent, eighty nine percent of it, seventy six percent
of it I do, But sixty four percent of it
I do because I want you to live a longer,
healthier life. Be there with your wives and kids or
whatever for as long as you possibly can, right when
(10:34):
you're sitting there. Because here's the thing is logic and
reason doesn't work on these people. That's obvious. If logic
and reason worked, all they'd have to do is look
at the calories and the sugar content and the trans
fats and go, hmm, I shouldn't eat these. This is
bad for me. I should I shouldn't say you shouldn't
ever eat them, but you should limit them. I should
(10:55):
eat more protein. I should walk six thousand steps a day.
I should start lifting weights once or twice. That's not working. Science,
common sense, and logic doesn't work. The only other way
we can save people is if we start bullying them
viciously into losing weight. We need to make them feel
shame about the way they look. It is the only
(11:18):
way to fix the obesity crisis in this country. Facts, logic,
and reason not cutting it for us. So we gotta
go with my plan, which is a national fat shaming movement.
Do you have anything you would like to add to this?
The friend is not the asshole here, by the way. No,
I agree.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
She like, it's just gonna be a on the party
if and she's just gonna make it about herself.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh yeah, especially when the boat capsized it. Yeah. No.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Someone in the comments suggests it a good way to
like go about it, harpoon, Yeah, is to just do
like like all go get like matching some suits instead.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
No, I don't like that. I don't like that. She
needs to feel shame. That's the takeaway here, they're being
too nice. I think they're the assholes because they're not
being mean enough to her. She needs to feel shame,
She needs to feel as if she is being othered
by the group because she is. She does not need
(12:26):
to love her body. You are a bad friend because
you have lied to her, would be my guest, and
told her that her body is beautiful up until this point.
So that's why. It's the same reason that when the
trans get to quote unquote misgendered out in public, that
they have mental breakdowns because they've got all these delusional friends,
not even delusional fake friends around them that are lying
(12:47):
to them and affirming their delusions in their nonsense when
they should be giving them a healthy dose of reality.
That's why she gets so upset when other people are
so repulsed by her, because, at the bottom of her heart,
the same way the trans woman knows that she's actually
a man, this woman knows that she is not attractive
in hers nothing beautiful about her body other than the
(13:08):
fact that if you get stranded at sea, you could
probably else kill her and survive off eating her. For weeks,
between the entire bachelorette party and the crew of the ship.
That's the thing she's got to realize. Hey, we get
stranded at sea, we're eating you. I want to make
that clearer. We're eating you. Guess what. Like I said,
(13:30):
I have obese friends. If I went out on a
boat with them at sea, I would let them know
we're going to eat you. If we get stranded. You
are the first to go. Can you will be able
to provide nourishment for the boat for the longest out
of all of us. So we're going to eat you first.
(13:50):
And the fat would actually make great cooking oil as well,
so we could. It be a good deal, all right?
Next one, my husband wanted a divorce until he lost
his job. Am I the asshole to follow through with
the filing? My has been thirty four male and I
thirty eight female. Why do you, guys marry women that
(14:11):
are significantly older than you, anything more than like a
year older than you? From a woman? I question her motives? Why?
Why is she marrying down? I'm not saying all of them.
I'm just I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm
genuinely curious. This isn't me being a dick. I want
to know why women very rarely. What do you think
it is? Why do women very rarely marry below their age?
(14:35):
Is there a reason?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I don't know. I don't think that's that far.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Okay, maybe four years, isn't it. Oh, they've only been
together for six years? Okay? I was like, maybe, like
if he was like like they met like when he
was eighteen and she was twenty two, that'd be a
red flag. But now now they've they've been together for yeah,
twenty nine and twenty five is not bad. Never mind,
I don't know what I was thinking. Disregard that my
husband thirty four and I thirty eight female, have been
married for six years, together for nine. We have had
(15:03):
our ups and downs, but the biggest down is how
he speaks to me. I just had our son one
year ago. When I was ten months postpartum, he was
telling me, I'm fat and lazy and all I do
is take care of the baby and work. That's I mean,
you piece of shit, selfish. All you do is take
care of the baby and pay the bills. When I
(15:26):
was ten months postpart it says, as I still had baby,
wait on navigating new routines, work and caring for our
baby and four children, four other children while working forty
hours a week. On my birthday, he demanded I not
leave the house or he would divorce me. Okay, but
to be fair, do we how impossible was she while
she was pregnant. We're only getting one side of the
(15:47):
story here. On my birthday, he demanded I'd not leave
the house or he would divorce me. Just so happened.
My daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth
the morning of my birthday, so I took her. Needless
to say, he didn't even say hello to me and
slept in his game room. He's a grown man with
five children in a game room. Might this be a
(16:10):
red flag? I listened to Dave Ramsey the other day
and there was a guy who was a highlight. But
some woman called in upset that her husband was going
forty thousand dollars into credit card debt to build a
Dungeons and Dragons man cave and they had kids and
(16:32):
they weren't out of debt, like and Ramsey's like, can
he press pause on the man cave? Like you can
build the Dungeons and Dragons man cave? But can you
wait until the kids have a college account? And the
debts paid off. And when I say the debt, I
mean all of the debt, the house, the student loans,
(16:53):
all of the debt before you spend forty Do you
know how pissed off I would be if I because
the kids were young in this situation. If I'm like
going into my teens and I realized how much money
my dad spent on a Dungeons and Dragons man cave.
That that comes directly out of your inheritance. That's called
(17:14):
a middle finger to your offspring, is what that is. Anyway,
I got sidetracked there. Uh it's been He's left in
his game room. He's been sleeping there since. It's been
just imagining this guy like one of those like movie
theater recliner chairs, just crashed out with a popcorn on
(17:34):
your Xbox controller on his lap. That's all I picture
right here. Uh, it's been two months. He told me
was divorcing me, spoke to an attorney and everything. Before
even telling me he wanted a divorce, he told me
I was not the prize. I'm almost forty of four kids,
three who are minors. He said, he is the prize.
He's in his prime and makes good money and any
(17:55):
women would love to be in my shoes and take
care of his kids. I will bet me, I will
bet you one thousand dollars this guy's listening to Andrew
Tait right now. I will bet you one thousand dollars
from our joint account that this guy's listening to Andrew Tait,
and it'll just stay in the account either way, that
this guy's listening to Andrew Tait right now. He even
(18:17):
went as far as inviting his baby mother into the
house to visit while I was out. Oh, he's that's like,
that's not cheating. But that's like when the mafia like
sends people to your mom's work when you owe him money,
just drops by and pays a visit to him, or
like they're outside your kid's school, playing with them, talking
(18:38):
to him, just like letting them know I can touch you,
I can get you. It would be so easy for
me to get you and you wouldn't even know it,
and before I had done it. That's what he's doing
right here, says uh. Fast forward. He loses his job
and tells me to wait to move. He then starts
talking nicer to me, acting different before Oh, the high
(18:58):
value Sigma man ain't feeling so hot, is what you're
telling me. I told him I was still moving out
and going forward with separating because his actions did not
align someone who wanted to be with me. It feels
more like I'm his only option at the moment. Now
he's going around saying I'm a gold digger and leave
as soon as he loses his job. He's saying he
wanted to try to make it work, but I am
(19:20):
the only I am the one choosing to leave to
all his family and friends. So am I the asshole
for following through with what he initiated even after he
lost his job? Oh? Of course not. No, this guy
sounds insufferable. I'm surprised you haven't killed him in his
sleep in his game room yet. Yeah. No, absolutely no.
(19:40):
He's one hundred percent in the wrong here. I know.
This is one of the most black and white stories
you ever had. This guy sounds like a holy terror.
That's uh. Do you think he's gonna who's gonna get
the kids? Do you think he'll have a place for
him in his game room or how's it gonna work.
Maybe he can just keep the game room and they'll
(20:00):
just like quarantine him off in that section of the house.
There's nothing wrong with like having like a game room
for your kids and stuff. I totally get that, But
the way she worded it, his game room tells me
this is a manchild that's up till four o'clock in
the morning playing. I don't know what the games are
that are popular. I have. I played the football game
(20:21):
and that's it. But that's what that tells me. He's
updoing the shooting call of Duty battle whatever it's called. Okay,
we got this last one coming up here, and it's
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lovely product. All right? Last one? Is this the entitled
pairrot one? Yes? All right? Am I the asshole for
(21:24):
telling my sister that I won't be after schoolcare for
her five year old I won't be after schoolcare for
her five year old daughter. I Female forty, work for
my father's company as an accountant NEPO baby. My sister,
Female thirty eight, works for the city we live in.
My brother in law, Mail thirty five, also works for
my dad, but in a different capacity and position in
(21:46):
the field. For context, my dad's a licensed electrician and
he's built and maintained a successful business for over thirty years.
School started in our county two weeks ago. Last week,
my brother in law shows up in my office drops
off my niece. He asked if I could watch her
for the afternoon. I said, of course. Then he proceeded
to drop her off every day after that. At the
same time on Friday, I was asked if it was
okay if I watched her for the rest of the
(22:07):
school year. I'm traldless by choice and sufferable. I don't
particularly want to watch my niece every single weekday. I
don't like it that it was assumed I would do so.
I don't mind helping, but I am at work during
this time, and I don't like that I am juggling
two things at once. My dad's okay with me keeping
her and is pretty much staying out of this arrangement.
After smart Man, smart Man, this sounds like the dad
(22:29):
from last week's story that childre in the hot tub
while chaos was going on. After school care is offered
in our district for twenty five dollars per week. What
and they're not taking that twenty five dollars a week
and they're not Oh my god, you When I said, now,
(22:53):
are they Jewish? I'm just gonna ask or Indian said
when I said no, I don't want to be the
primary care for her after school. My brother in law
reacted strongly told my dad that he need afternoons off
because I said I would not watch your part of
me feels like I just need to suck it up
and watch her because you know, how about you shill
out the twenty five dollars a week, you cheap fucking bastard.
(23:19):
That seems like a reasonable middle ground. What makes more sense?
Are you paid by the hour or is this one
of those fuck off jobs where you can just leave whenever?
Because let's see, well, okay, let's say you make good
even number thirty dollars an hour. Let's say you make
thirty dollars an hour, the kid gets out of school
at three and you work till five, So that's two hours. Okay,
(23:41):
two and a half hours. Fuck, we're just gonna say
two to round it off really nice and easy. So
in a single day, in an hour, you leaving work
an hour early is costing you more in the first
hour than it would to just pay the child the
child care. This is the power play. This isn't about money,
(24:06):
about time. This is a power play. This is about
bullying her into doing what they wanted. They thought she
was gonna break, They thought they were gonna save a
little bit of money. Now he's taking a gamble. This
is a bluff they're trying to remember I told you
about when when members of family do things and they
have ulterior motives and you just need to trust me
(24:28):
about it because they're setting themselves up for the long game.
Even though it seems like a small issue in the moment,
it's really not. This is what I'm talking about right here.
This is a power play trying to force her hand
into doing this. This is the asshole for trying it, says.
Part of me feels like I just need to suck
it up and watch her because you do for family.
The other part of me wants to stick to my
guns and keep saying no. So am I the asshole
(24:48):
for trying to draw this line in the sand with
my sister and brother in law? Do I need to
read this update? This is important?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Not really? So the update basically says she corrects herself
and says it's actually forty dollars.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Still twenty five, still cheaper.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
But so they compromised. So she's gonna watch the kid
two days a week. And then the rest of the
time the dad is gonna take off work.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So they're retards, they're dumb. Everyone in the story is
an idiot. You're all the you're not even assholes, you're
stupid your first off, A compromise involves you getting something.
You started with the kid zero days a week. Now
you have the kid two days a week. That's not
a compromise, that's you being spineless. The father is an
(25:39):
idiot because he doesn't want to pay forty dollars a week.
He's gonna take time off work, which is probably gonna
cost him hundreds of dollars a week, rather than paying
forty dollars a week. How do these people get dressed
in the morning?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Is not gonna So the dad's gonna dock the pay
from the brother, but not from the daughter.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Well yeah, I mean, because she's watching the kid at work,
gonna give her over.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
He's gonna pay her extra if she has to come
back into work.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
So he's gonna lose money rather than paying forty dollars
a week. Forty dollars. Don't eat out one time if
you're that strapped for cash, I mean no, But they're
obviously not strapped that strapped for cash because no one
could afford to take like a thirty percent pay doc
that didn't have forty dollars a week. No one on
(26:38):
the planet could. It makes no sense from a mathematical standpoint.
This irritates me. They need to go on. Dave Ramsey
Caleb Hammer would chew them a new one. Do we
have anything else that's going on here?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
No, I just wanted to make sure I was getting
the thing correct. Yeah, she said she's gonna watch her
needs a couple of days a week, and then her
brother in law is going to take the remaining days.
He'll have to leave two and a half hours early
on those days.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Oh my god. Okay, So, dude, even if you're making
ten dollars an hour, which I guarantee you he's not.
As an electrician, you're making ten, say worst case scenario,
making ten bucks an hour. By day two, you're at
a loss. You're losing money on this deal. Oh my god.
They need to go on Caleb Hammer. Do you ever
(27:31):
watch Caleb Hammer. It's become like my soap opera because
it makes me feel better about us. But these people
are basket cases. He just like picks people's finances apart.
I think I'm going to start doing that for my
family members off camera, off camera, I think that's what.
(27:53):
I think we're going to start doing that. We can't
air it because it would just get horrific and chairs
would be thrown and it would be a disaster. But
I think I'm gonna start auditing my family members and
friends' finances. Not that I'm rich, but I know how
to manage my money. That's the difference. I'm far from rich.
(28:16):
If I showed you, guys how much we actually bring in,
you'd be like, that's it. I just know how to
manage her. I'm fucking adhd ocd with how we manage
our money. I just know how to do it, and uh,
that's it. I certainly could could find forty dollars a week.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I used to be terrible at managing my money.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
But you got me in check.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I put my foot up or ass figuratively before the
dumb asses that like to leave little nasty apple reviews
try to come after us. I used to. You know,
I got good advantage of my money because I was
terrible at it too, and I was tired of being
broke all the time. No like it was uh we
I took a brief personal finance class in high school.
Nobody teaches you about it. You have to learn it. Seriously,
(29:06):
I took like sixteen different classes about English and all
this crap. Listen, grammar don't mean shit when you're eighteen
grand in credit card debt. Bro I still have poor grammar,
but I don't have eighteen thousand dollars in credit card
debt anymore. Had they taught me how to do that,
I might have had time to learn English because I
wouldn't have been busting my ass trying to get out
(29:27):
of credit card debt. Yeah, here we are, that's correct. No,
I know how to get a I didn't come from
a financially literate upbringing, we'll put it that way, and
I had to figure most of it out on my own.
So I should that's what we should do. We should
just turn this show into that we just tell people
how to save their money, you know, from a middle
(29:50):
class perspective, because I feel like it's easy. Like sometimes
I listen to like Dave Ramsey and this guy calls
in and he's like the foundation of my house is
about to cave in, and I have to come up
with a hunt thousand dollars, what do I do? And
Dave Ramsey's like, you cannot go into debt, you need
to pay this in cash. And it's like, all right, bro,
how disconnected are you right now? Like I like Dave Ramsey,
(30:12):
who the fuck has one hundred grands sitting around out there? Now?
Like some things are worth going into debt for, you know,
like like serious home and car repairs, medical bills, Xbox
games OnlyFans, premium subscriptions, nights at the bar, vacations, things
like that are worth going into debt for, you know.
(30:35):
So anyway, that's been our show. We will see a Saturday.
I'm sure we'll be talking about whatever fucking Trump is
doing next and with his health or whatever. I don't know.
I don't even know. I have the list put away
for what we're talking about Saturday, and we'll get to
it when we get to it. Cheat on your taxes,
not your spouse, and stay based
Welcome to that's based Happy Wednesday. It's unsolicited advice. I'm
your host as always, Caleb Savator, reporting from Somewhere Underground
and brought to you by Outlast Streamers and our friends
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(00:29):
a little party this weekend, but I don't, well, maybe
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at the checkout. All right, well, we're laughing our way
(01:11):
through the end of days over here, Stock called me
o the white red Face of white Supremacy has found
some stories online for us that we're going to react to.
There's some folks that need a little bit of help,
but they don't want it from an asshole like me.
Thus the unsolicited segment of the show. What do you
have to say? Any any previews for these stories you
(01:33):
got here?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Um, you've got very entitled parents with their kids, So
that's an interesting one.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That one really pissed me off.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Love, that's what I want to do is get angry.
There we go, all right, Well, happy Wednesday. Remember we
are temporarily shifting to two shows a week during the
NFL season because I have a paid spot on there
and books show which should be airing tomorrow or yeah
to winn say yeah so tomorrow Thursday, if you check
that out Friday at the latest. Can't pass up the
Monday this time a year and I don't have time
(02:10):
to go on the air any more than that at
the time or at the current moment. So let's go
to this first one. Here. Am I the asshole from
a deleted account, which is always a good sign. Am
I the asshole for asking my friend to wear a
more flattering bikini throwaway probvious reasons. My friends are really
split about this, so I'd like some input. My friends
and I rented a yacht for a bachelorette party. One
(02:32):
of my friends. Oh, yeah, you're getting cheated on. If
your wife has a bacheloret has a bachelorette party on
a yacht, you're getting If your girl goes on a
yacht or any boat for that matter, that you are
not on, you are getting cheated on. That's the important
thing you need to remember from this. If you take
nothing else from this, women plus boat equals adultery every time,
(02:54):
one hundred percent of the time. There's no denying it.
Because my friends and I rented a yacht for a
bachelorette party. One of my friends is getting married. There
are seven of us, but a lot of people are
coming to the party. One of my friends, let's call
her Toy, is a larger woman, around three hundred pounds. Okay,
So I was watching the Nebraska football game last Thursday.
(03:16):
It made me very upset. Cincinnati had a defensive tackle
named Dante Corleone, black guy named Corleone. Go figure that out.
But he was three hundred pounds. So this woman's the
size of a Power five noseguard. I want to put
that into perspective. Something tells me she doesn't move as
(03:37):
well as this guy, though not quite as majestic. Shall
we say she loves how she looks, She is happy
with her weight? She shouldn't be. She shouldn't Why do
we Why do we let the fatties get away with this?
And when I say fatties, I don't mean ninety percent
of us that could afford to drop fifteen twenty pounds.
(03:58):
I'm talking people that are built like NFL noseguards. Why
do we let them get away with this? We tell
she loves the way she looks. We're all so happy
for that. She's so secure. You shouldn't be. If your
friend was shooting heroin, would you treat them the same way?
Because I'm I tell you right now, heart disease kills
way more people in this country than heroin overdoses do,
(04:20):
So you better straighten your priorities out, says, all of
us love her. We have been friends for years. Last
year we went to a couple of pool parties the
beach or the beach together. Each time Tory wore this
really unflattering, barely their string bikini. So here's my question.
Was it a string bikini or was it just a
normal sized bikini that her folds swallowed. I think we
(04:46):
need content. I don't want to see it because I
just ate and I don't want to lose my lunch
for breakfast. But I need I need to know what
this was. I mean because the way you make it sound,
you could throw you ever see that movie grown Ups,
Remember David Spade's ugly daughter that he puts in the
(05:07):
one piece? You could sounds like you could throw Tory
in something like that and she'd still swallow it up
like a string bikini. Tory might be able to swallow
a bunny from what's that show? Mary of Kingstown's PARKA
like a string bikini, by the way you make it sound, says.
Each time, she got a lot of rude stares and
(05:30):
negative comments. We always ended the how fat is this girl?
I mean, like, look, you guys know I'm an asshole.
I have seen some repulsive people who are committing the
cardinal sin, in my opinion, which is dressing for the
body they want, not the body they have. And I've
been heavily intoxicated and kept my comments to myself. How
(05:50):
disgusting must this woman be that they're just receiving multiple
negative comments wherever they go, like do when you walk by?
Did people shield their children's eyes? That's what I want
to know. We always ended the evening consoling her, yet
she wore it several times. Okay, well, she loved her
body so much, then why does she need consoling? Obviously
she knows something was wrong. If I got a tattoo
(06:13):
that I truly just loved, just loved this tattoo, but
all these everyone hated it. Everyone hated it but me
and I walked around and I'd go out in public
and people be like, look at that hideous tattoo. I
wouldn't need consoling. If I truly loved the tattoo, If
I truly love this shirt that I was wearing that
I was so proud of, I wouldn't need consoling. She
(06:34):
needs consoling because she knows she's wrong. The same way
the trans will have a mental breakdown when someone calls
them he when someone says, no, you were born a man,
You're going to die a man. It may aggravate or
irritate a biological woman, but it won't cause them an
existential crisis. The same way, if you talk shit about
my tattoo that I'm so proud of, it might irritate me,
(06:55):
but it won't cause me an existential crisis, because at
the bottom of my heart, I truly do enjoy it.
She doesn't actually like her way right. She wants She
wants all the plus sides, not plus size, the plus
side of eating like a slob and treating her body
like a landfill with none of the negative side effects,
which is people staring at you like you're the swamp creature.
(07:18):
That's okay, so it goes me. The bride and another
friend want to have like an intervention about the bikini,
then we can all go shopping for new ones together.
Our other three friends think that this makes us assholes
and that we're body shaming her, which is good. We
need to bring body shaming back. We are in an
obesity crisis in this country, and the best way we
(07:41):
can do it is just shame people, shame people into
losing weight. Do you know what I would do, miya,
if I were a governor or a mayor. You know
they do like a syntax on cigarettes and gambling or
if you're gonna go or buy or alcohol or whatever
you're gonna go, do it, you gotta pay a little
bit extra. I would do a sindtax on plus sized clothing.
(08:04):
I would literally, if you're obese, I would make you
pay the government for the privilege of being obese, because
that's what it is. I would actually charge you a
fee to the government to make you lose weight, so
you have to pay the shame tax every time you
swipe your credit card at the clothing store, says me.
And I'd make you step on a scale before you
(08:25):
bought sugary food. And I'm kidding about that part, says me.
The brider says, we're body shaming her, so we shouldn't
do it. They say we should. She should wear whatever
she wants. I personally think that this is the bride's party.
People should be focused on her instead of Tory. And
it would not be a big deal if Torri got
a swimsuit. Help us settle that. If we told her
to wear a more flattering swimsuit, would we be the assholes? No,
(08:46):
you wouldn't be the assholes. If you told her, hey,
can you cover up a little bit? Can you dress
for the body you have, not the body you want?
Work for the body you want, but don't dress for
the body you want? Could you cover up? You would
be the assholes. If you threw her off the boat
and told her to imitate a beluga whale when you
got on the yacht, that would be the assholes. That
(09:08):
would make you the asshole. If you did a reenactment
of Moby Dick in your bachelorette pictures, that would make
you the asshole. Not that they're like fat people oceans.
The whale jokes are gonna get made. There's no avoiding it.
And I want to be clear when I make these
(09:28):
fat jokes. I don't hate obese people. I genuinely don't.
Some of my good friends are well overweight and they
need to lose weight, and I remind them of that
all the time, because I was about forty pounds heavier
when we started this show, and you guys harassed me
about it in the comments, over and over and over
and over again, and I dropped a bunch of weight,
and then I put a little bit of weight back on,
(09:49):
but that weight was muscle, and then I started dropping
weight again. So, you guys, the bullying and the fat
shaming actually worked on me. I think it's very effective.
That's why I do it. Work out just so I
can fat shame people at this point. But no, I
think it's very effective. I think we need to bring
it back. I do it from a point of love
because I want you to live a longer and healthier life. Truly,
(10:12):
I'm not doing it because I get joy out of
bullying fat people. Maybe a little bit, but like ninety
seven percent, eighty nine percent of it, seventy six percent
of it I do, But sixty four percent of it
I do because I want you to live a longer,
healthier life. Be there with your wives and kids or
whatever for as long as you possibly can, right when
(10:34):
you're sitting there. Because here's the thing is logic and
reason doesn't work on these people. That's obvious. If logic
and reason worked, all they'd have to do is look
at the calories and the sugar content and the trans
fats and go, hmm, I shouldn't eat these. This is
bad for me. I should I shouldn't say you shouldn't
ever eat them, but you should limit them. I should
(10:55):
eat more protein. I should walk six thousand steps a day.
I should start lifting weights once or twice. That's not working. Science,
common sense, and logic doesn't work. The only other way
we can save people is if we start bullying them
viciously into losing weight. We need to make them feel
shame about the way they look. It is the only
(11:18):
way to fix the obesity crisis in this country. Facts, logic,
and reason not cutting it for us. So we gotta
go with my plan, which is a national fat shaming movement.
Do you have anything you would like to add to this?
The friend is not the asshole here, by the way. No,
I agree.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
She like, it's just gonna be a on the party
if and she's just gonna make it about herself.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh yeah, especially when the boat capsized it. Yeah. No.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Someone in the comments suggests it a good way to
like go about it, harpoon, Yeah, is to just do
like like all go get like matching some suits instead.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
No, I don't like that. I don't like that. She
needs to feel shame. That's the takeaway here, they're being
too nice. I think they're the assholes because they're not
being mean enough to her. She needs to feel shame,
She needs to feel as if she is being othered
by the group because she is. She does not need
(12:26):
to love her body. You are a bad friend because
you have lied to her, would be my guest, and
told her that her body is beautiful up until this point.
So that's why. It's the same reason that when the
trans get to quote unquote misgendered out in public, that
they have mental breakdowns because they've got all these delusional friends,
not even delusional fake friends around them that are lying
(12:47):
to them and affirming their delusions in their nonsense when
they should be giving them a healthy dose of reality.
That's why she gets so upset when other people are
so repulsed by her, because, at the bottom of her heart,
the same way the trans woman knows that she's actually
a man, this woman knows that she is not attractive
in hers nothing beautiful about her body other than the
(13:08):
fact that if you get stranded at sea, you could
probably else kill her and survive off eating her. For weeks,
between the entire bachelorette party and the crew of the ship.
That's the thing she's got to realize. Hey, we get
stranded at sea, we're eating you. I want to make
that clearer. We're eating you. Guess what. Like I said,
(13:30):
I have obese friends. If I went out on a
boat with them at sea, I would let them know
we're going to eat you. If we get stranded. You
are the first to go. Can you will be able
to provide nourishment for the boat for the longest out
of all of us. So we're going to eat you first.
(13:50):
And the fat would actually make great cooking oil as well,
so we could. It be a good deal, all right?
Next one, my husband wanted a divorce until he lost
his job. Am I the asshole to follow through with
the filing? My has been thirty four male and I
thirty eight female. Why do you, guys marry women that
(14:11):
are significantly older than you, anything more than like a
year older than you? From a woman? I question her motives? Why?
Why is she marrying down? I'm not saying all of them.
I'm just I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm
genuinely curious. This isn't me being a dick. I want
to know why women very rarely. What do you think
it is? Why do women very rarely marry below their age?
(14:35):
Is there a reason?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I don't know. I don't think that's that far.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Okay, maybe four years, isn't it. Oh, they've only been
together for six years? Okay? I was like, maybe, like
if he was like like they met like when he
was eighteen and she was twenty two, that'd be a
red flag. But now now they've they've been together for yeah,
twenty nine and twenty five is not bad. Never mind,
I don't know what I was thinking. Disregard that my
husband thirty four and I thirty eight female, have been
married for six years, together for nine. We have had
(15:03):
our ups and downs, but the biggest down is how
he speaks to me. I just had our son one
year ago. When I was ten months postpartum, he was
telling me, I'm fat and lazy and all I do
is take care of the baby and work. That's I mean,
you piece of shit, selfish. All you do is take
care of the baby and pay the bills. When I
(15:26):
was ten months postpart it says, as I still had baby,
wait on navigating new routines, work and caring for our
baby and four children, four other children while working forty
hours a week. On my birthday, he demanded I not
leave the house or he would divorce me. Okay, but
to be fair, do we how impossible was she while
she was pregnant. We're only getting one side of the
(15:47):
story here. On my birthday, he demanded I'd not leave
the house or he would divorce me. Just so happened.
My daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth
the morning of my birthday, so I took her. Needless
to say, he didn't even say hello to me and
slept in his game room. He's a grown man with
five children in a game room. Might this be a
(16:10):
red flag? I listened to Dave Ramsey the other day
and there was a guy who was a highlight. But
some woman called in upset that her husband was going
forty thousand dollars into credit card debt to build a
Dungeons and Dragons man cave and they had kids and
(16:32):
they weren't out of debt, like and Ramsey's like, can
he press pause on the man cave? Like you can
build the Dungeons and Dragons man cave? But can you
wait until the kids have a college account? And the
debts paid off. And when I say the debt, I
mean all of the debt, the house, the student loans,
(16:53):
all of the debt before you spend forty Do you
know how pissed off I would be if I because
the kids were young in this situation. If I'm like
going into my teens and I realized how much money
my dad spent on a Dungeons and Dragons man cave.
That that comes directly out of your inheritance. That's called
(17:14):
a middle finger to your offspring, is what that is. Anyway,
I got sidetracked there. Uh it's been He's left in
his game room. He's been sleeping there since. It's been
just imagining this guy like one of those like movie
theater recliner chairs, just crashed out with a popcorn on
(17:34):
your Xbox controller on his lap. That's all I picture
right here. Uh, it's been two months. He told me
was divorcing me, spoke to an attorney and everything. Before
even telling me he wanted a divorce, he told me
I was not the prize. I'm almost forty of four kids,
three who are minors. He said, he is the prize.
He's in his prime and makes good money and any
(17:55):
women would love to be in my shoes and take
care of his kids. I will bet me, I will
bet you one thousand dollars this guy's listening to Andrew
Tait right now. I will bet you one thousand dollars
from our joint account that this guy's listening to Andrew Tait,
and it'll just stay in the account either way, that
this guy's listening to Andrew Tait right now. He even
(18:17):
went as far as inviting his baby mother into the
house to visit while I was out. Oh, he's that's like,
that's not cheating. But that's like when the mafia like
sends people to your mom's work when you owe him money,
just drops by and pays a visit to him, or
like they're outside your kid's school, playing with them, talking
(18:38):
to him, just like letting them know I can touch you,
I can get you. It would be so easy for
me to get you and you wouldn't even know it,
and before I had done it. That's what he's doing
right here, says uh. Fast forward. He loses his job
and tells me to wait to move. He then starts
talking nicer to me, acting different before Oh, the high
(18:58):
value Sigma man ain't feeling so hot, is what you're
telling me. I told him I was still moving out
and going forward with separating because his actions did not
align someone who wanted to be with me. It feels
more like I'm his only option at the moment. Now
he's going around saying I'm a gold digger and leave
as soon as he loses his job. He's saying he
wanted to try to make it work, but I am
(19:20):
the only I am the one choosing to leave to
all his family and friends. So am I the asshole
for following through with what he initiated even after he
lost his job? Oh? Of course not. No, this guy
sounds insufferable. I'm surprised you haven't killed him in his
sleep in his game room yet. Yeah. No, absolutely no.
(19:40):
He's one hundred percent in the wrong here. I know.
This is one of the most black and white stories
you ever had. This guy sounds like a holy terror.
That's uh. Do you think he's gonna who's gonna get
the kids? Do you think he'll have a place for
him in his game room or how's it gonna work.
Maybe he can just keep the game room and they'll
(20:00):
just like quarantine him off in that section of the house.
There's nothing wrong with like having like a game room
for your kids and stuff. I totally get that, But
the way she worded it, his game room tells me
this is a manchild that's up till four o'clock in
the morning playing. I don't know what the games are
that are popular. I have. I played the football game
(20:21):
and that's it. But that's what that tells me. He's
updoing the shooting call of Duty battle whatever it's called. Okay,
we got this last one coming up here, and it's
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lovely product. All right? Last one? Is this the entitled
pairrot one? Yes? All right? Am I the asshole for
(21:24):
telling my sister that I won't be after schoolcare for
her five year old I won't be after schoolcare for
her five year old daughter. I Female forty, work for
my father's company as an accountant NEPO baby. My sister,
Female thirty eight, works for the city we live in.
My brother in law, Mail thirty five, also works for
my dad, but in a different capacity and position in
(21:46):
the field. For context, my dad's a licensed electrician and
he's built and maintained a successful business for over thirty years.
School started in our county two weeks ago. Last week,
my brother in law shows up in my office drops
off my niece. He asked if I could watch her
for the afternoon. I said, of course. Then he proceeded
to drop her off every day after that. At the
same time on Friday, I was asked if it was
okay if I watched her for the rest of the
(22:07):
school year. I'm traldless by choice and sufferable. I don't
particularly want to watch my niece every single weekday. I
don't like it that it was assumed I would do so.
I don't mind helping, but I am at work during
this time, and I don't like that I am juggling
two things at once. My dad's okay with me keeping
her and is pretty much staying out of this arrangement.
After smart Man, smart Man, this sounds like the dad
(22:29):
from last week's story that childre in the hot tub
while chaos was going on. After school care is offered
in our district for twenty five dollars per week. What
and they're not taking that twenty five dollars a week
and they're not Oh my god, you When I said, now,
(22:53):
are they Jewish? I'm just gonna ask or Indian said
when I said no, I don't want to be the
primary care for her after school. My brother in law
reacted strongly told my dad that he need afternoons off
because I said I would not watch your part of
me feels like I just need to suck it up
and watch her because you know, how about you shill
out the twenty five dollars a week, you cheap fucking bastard.
(23:19):
That seems like a reasonable middle ground. What makes more sense?
Are you paid by the hour or is this one
of those fuck off jobs where you can just leave whenever?
Because let's see, well, okay, let's say you make good
even number thirty dollars an hour. Let's say you make
thirty dollars an hour, the kid gets out of school
at three and you work till five, So that's two hours. Okay,
(23:41):
two and a half hours. Fuck, we're just gonna say
two to round it off really nice and easy. So
in a single day, in an hour, you leaving work
an hour early is costing you more in the first
hour than it would to just pay the child the
child care. This is the power play. This isn't about money,
(24:06):
about time. This is a power play. This is about
bullying her into doing what they wanted. They thought she
was gonna break, They thought they were gonna save a
little bit of money. Now he's taking a gamble. This
is a bluff they're trying to remember I told you
about when when members of family do things and they
have ulterior motives and you just need to trust me
(24:28):
about it because they're setting themselves up for the long game.
Even though it seems like a small issue in the moment,
it's really not. This is what I'm talking about right here.
This is a power play trying to force her hand
into doing this. This is the asshole for trying it, says.
Part of me feels like I just need to suck
it up and watch her because you do for family.
The other part of me wants to stick to my
guns and keep saying no. So am I the asshole
(24:48):
for trying to draw this line in the sand with
my sister and brother in law? Do I need to
read this update? This is important?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Not really? So the update basically says she corrects herself
and says it's actually forty dollars.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Still twenty five, still cheaper.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
But so they compromised. So she's gonna watch the kid
two days a week. And then the rest of the
time the dad is gonna take off work.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So they're retards, they're dumb. Everyone in the story is
an idiot. You're all the you're not even assholes, you're
stupid your first off, A compromise involves you getting something.
You started with the kid zero days a week. Now
you have the kid two days a week. That's not
a compromise, that's you being spineless. The father is an
(25:39):
idiot because he doesn't want to pay forty dollars a week.
He's gonna take time off work, which is probably gonna
cost him hundreds of dollars a week, rather than paying
forty dollars a week. How do these people get dressed
in the morning?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Is not gonna So the dad's gonna dock the pay
from the brother, but not from the daughter.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Well yeah, I mean, because she's watching the kid at work,
gonna give her over.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
He's gonna pay her extra if she has to come
back into work.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
So he's gonna lose money rather than paying forty dollars
a week. Forty dollars. Don't eat out one time if
you're that strapped for cash, I mean no, But they're
obviously not strapped that strapped for cash because no one
could afford to take like a thirty percent pay doc
that didn't have forty dollars a week. No one on
(26:38):
the planet could. It makes no sense from a mathematical standpoint.
This irritates me. They need to go on. Dave Ramsey
Caleb Hammer would chew them a new one. Do we
have anything else that's going on here?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
No, I just wanted to make sure I was getting
the thing correct. Yeah, she said she's gonna watch her
needs a couple of days a week, and then her
brother in law is going to take the remaining days.
He'll have to leave two and a half hours early
on those days.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Oh my god. Okay, So, dude, even if you're making
ten dollars an hour, which I guarantee you he's not.
As an electrician, you're making ten, say worst case scenario,
making ten bucks an hour. By day two, you're at
a loss. You're losing money on this deal. Oh my god.
They need to go on Caleb Hammer. Do you ever
(27:31):
watch Caleb Hammer. It's become like my soap opera because
it makes me feel better about us. But these people
are basket cases. He just like picks people's finances apart.
I think I'm going to start doing that for my
family members off camera, off camera, I think that's what.
(27:53):
I think we're going to start doing that. We can't
air it because it would just get horrific and chairs
would be thrown and it would be a disaster. But
I think I'm gonna start auditing my family members and
friends' finances. Not that I'm rich, but I know how
to manage my money. That's the difference. I'm far from rich.
(28:16):
If I showed you, guys how much we actually bring in,
you'd be like, that's it. I just know how to
manage her. I'm fucking adhd ocd with how we manage
our money. I just know how to do it, and uh,
that's it. I certainly could could find forty dollars a week.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I used to be terrible at managing my money.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
But you got me in check.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I put my foot up or ass figuratively before the
dumb asses that like to leave little nasty apple reviews
try to come after us. I used to. You know,
I got good advantage of my money because I was
terrible at it too, and I was tired of being
broke all the time. No like it was uh we
I took a brief personal finance class in high school.
Nobody teaches you about it. You have to learn it. Seriously,
(29:06):
I took like sixteen different classes about English and all
this crap. Listen, grammar don't mean shit when you're eighteen
grand in credit card debt. Bro I still have poor grammar,
but I don't have eighteen thousand dollars in credit card
debt anymore. Had they taught me how to do that,
I might have had time to learn English because I
wouldn't have been busting my ass trying to get out
(29:27):
of credit card debt. Yeah, here we are, that's correct. No,
I know how to get a I didn't come from
a financially literate upbringing, we'll put it that way, and
I had to figure most of it out on my own.
So I should that's what we should do. We should
just turn this show into that we just tell people
how to save their money, you know, from a middle
(29:50):
class perspective, because I feel like it's easy. Like sometimes
I listen to like Dave Ramsey and this guy calls
in and he's like the foundation of my house is
about to cave in, and I have to come up
with a hunt thousand dollars, what do I do? And
Dave Ramsey's like, you cannot go into debt, you need
to pay this in cash. And it's like, all right, bro,
how disconnected are you right now? Like I like Dave Ramsey,
(30:12):
who the fuck has one hundred grands sitting around out there? Now?
Like some things are worth going into debt for, you know,
like like serious home and car repairs, medical bills, Xbox
games OnlyFans, premium subscriptions, nights at the bar, vacations, things
like that are worth going into debt for, you know.
(30:35):
So anyway, that's been our show. We will see a Saturday.
I'm sure we'll be talking about whatever fucking Trump is
doing next and with his health or whatever. I don't know.
I don't even know. I have the list put away
for what we're talking about Saturday, and we'll get to
it when we get to it. Cheat on your taxes,
not your spouse, and stay based
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