August 7, 2025 • 28 mins
A comedy series featuring a spirited young woman navigating life's challenges with wit and charm, often finding herself in humorous situations. Her adventures are both entertaining and endearing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
I have, babe, say, how about a little girl?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern. You all remember
Metro Golden Mayor's famous Mazie pictures. In just a moment,
you'll hear Mazie in radio, starring the same glamorous star
you all went to see and loved on the screen.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
And Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
But first you're announcer.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Our heirs and Southern as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yep, I'm mazy like the fella, said Mazie Revere, Just
a gal who ain't concerned about taking it with me
when I go, because when you're in show business like me,
you're used to traveling light.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
The way I figure it, today will be yesterday tomorrow.
But for a lot of people, there wouldn't be a
tomorrow if it weren't for certain organizations called the bud Banks.
And if you'll pardon a small pun, these are the
only banks in the world that can't operate unless they're
in the red. I know the wonderful work these outfits
do because three times a week I work at one
(01:55):
of the banks. Is a sort of receive and teller
in charge of deposits there's no honey involved in any
of this. The only compensation you get is that a
life may be saved, and who can tell, maybe that
life will be yours. Oh, miss, miss, I hope you
don't mind my not getting up from the desk. Honey,
I just gave another pint of my blood.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Gosh, a whole pine. Doesn't that make you a little weak?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh not the least, miss, And it's all over before
you can snap your fingers like this like this. Well,
I guess I am just a little weak. What can
I do for you, honey?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Well I heard about these blood pangs and I thought
that I could.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Oh no, Girley, we just take. We don't give, but
I'd like to give a little. Well, you're a swell
galfa wanting to help, But we're in the business of
saving lives, not throwing them away. Yes, but I tell
you what, you build yourself up a little, I mean
a lot, and then in a couple of years you
come back.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
But that's exactly why I'm here, my health, That's why
I want to sell my blood.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Oh honey, we don't pay our donors. They give for free.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
They don't get paid.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Well, only with something you can't put in the bank. Honey,
gratitude and human lives, you see, miss.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Nancy, Nancy Homer Schlugger.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Oh, oh, well, it's silly to cry over a thing
like that, Nancy. And you got to do is change
your second name.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Oh, you don't understand, my doctor, He says, I need
to have a long vacation. I shouldn't work for at
least a couple of weeks to go to a nice hotel,
meet some nice young men. Maybe.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Well the dog is ride, Nancy, and you should take
your blood with you.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Mister Jeffries, that's my boss, he said. I'm not eligible
for a vacation yet. I've only worked for him for
two years.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Two years with no vacation. Where do you work at
a chain gang?
Speaker 6 (03:51):
No, mister Jeffers has a store on Market in fifty,
a small department store.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
I'm a sales girl. Mister Jeffrey said that if I
continue to work.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Real hard, he'd give you every other labor day off.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Huh, oh, you know, mister Jeffries.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
No, but I'm going to meet him, Nancy and get
you that vacation with pay.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
But you can't do that, mister Jeffries. He doesn't like
to be told what to do.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Oh, well, don't worry. I'm not going to tell him.
I'm just going to ask him.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You'll appeal to him as a man.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
For sure. How old is this mister Jeffries?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Sixty?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
In that case, I'll have to appeal to him as
a man. He's too old for me to appeal to
him as a woman. Now, now you run along back
to work, Nancy, and leave everything a little mazy.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Oh gosh, maze. I can't understand why you're doing this
for me. I'm a total stranger, Honey.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
There are no strangers in this world. There aren't no
We're all just people, people who haven't been formally introduced.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Yes, mister Jeffries at once?
Speaker 7 (05:02):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Sir? Did I do anything?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Miss Hammerschlagger?
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Do you recall what I said to you when you
came to me two years ago and said you'd be
willing to work for half of what anybody else here
was getting.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Yes, sir, you said you're hired.
Speaker 8 (05:15):
Actually, I mean you remember that I said all my
salespeople are allowed one hour and one hour.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Exactly for lunch.
Speaker 8 (05:22):
Yes, sir, Well, if you'll gaze at the clock, you'll
notice it's now one thirty and one half, Miss Hammerschlagger,
you're exactly thirty seconds late.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
I'm sorry, sir, but I went to the.
Speaker 8 (05:35):
Bloodbed, the bloodbed, Miss Hammerschlager, when I hired you as
a sales girl, I hired the entire Miss Nancy Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Blood and all.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Yes, sir, thank you, Sir.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
You may return to your count of Miss Hamerschlager and
be thankful that I'm in a gracious mood today.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Oh yes, sir, I thought you were kinder than usual today.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yes, and justifiably so, Miss Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (05:58):
This morning, Missus jeff please told me something that I've
waited to hear since the day we were first married.
You mean, yes, Missus Jeffries went to the doctors this morning,
and it's true.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Really, she has to go away for a long rast. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
I'm going down to the bus station this afternoon and
buy the ticket and now back to work.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Miss How much like a hurry hurry?
Speaker 8 (06:20):
This trip is costing me plenty, but it's worth every dollar,
including the bribe I gave the doctor.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Oh yes, sir, I've seen Missus Jeffries. Sir, Hey, yes, sir,
What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Sir?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Oh, yes, mansion.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
What can we do for you today?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Penny Stall has it? Jeffries has it? And what can
we show you today?
Speaker 9 (06:42):
The floor marks, fly swater, bathing cap, beach umbrella, Bobby pins,
lamp chains, laodium, lawnmower, dog collar, no ironing, born, electric fan, paints, prayer, beach,
bad deep frieze radio.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What was that next to the last one?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Did dree? No?
Speaker 8 (07:00):
Yeah it miss, I'm a busy man. Exactly what do
you want?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Well, I'd like to see mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well why didn't you say so?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
You didn't come to it yet?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I was working up to it. I'm mister Jeffries.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Oh how do you do?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm just peachy fine, miss. Now what can I do
for you?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Well, mister Jeffries. Yeah, Well, miss Jeffries, you don't know
me and I don't know you, true, true, Well what
I mean is yeah, Well, what I mean is you
don't know me and I don't know you.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Well, now we're getting someplace, aren't we.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Well, mister Jeffries, I know you have a heart and
a soul and a conscience.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It is if you're here to take inventory no, no.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It's not that, mister Jeffries. As well, you have an
employee here named Nancy Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
Oh yes, one of my most trusted employees. Very efficient,
very efficient.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
But she won't be efficient long, mister Jeffries, have you
noticed how thin and sickly she is?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
And miss exactly what are you getting at?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, mister Jeffries, Well, Nancy's all run down and her
doctor says she needs a vacationer at least two weeks
with pay or else. Well, I said it, and I'm
glad it's.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
So am I so our dear poor miss Hammerschlager's health
hangs in the balance.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
A little ignorant me is standing in the way of
her future.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yes, oh, poor tired Nancy's so loyal. I told her
you couldn't be the hard hearted louse. She said you were, Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So, Miss Hammerschlager said, I was allowed.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, but in a nice way.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Oh well that was very kind of.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
And Miss, how much of a vacation did the good
doctor prescribe for the poor delicate creature?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Well, two weeks. And if you just do this little
thing for Miss Hammerschlagger, you will make a friend for life.
Speaker 10 (08:57):
Gee, gosh, and missus Hemmerschlager, Oh, miss Hemmerschlager. Jeffery, Yes,
dear girl, come here, lifelong friend, Yes.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Sir mister Jeffries. Oh amaz, it's you.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, and don't be nervous, Nancy, Honey, mister Jefferes isn't
half as nasty as he looks he is.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
I mean, you talk to him, explained.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
The entire story, my dear, and you'll never know how
this old friend of yours helped you in your hour
of me.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
Oh, amaze, he isn't an old friend. I just met
her during my lunch hour at the blood bank.
Speaker 8 (09:34):
Will Miss Hammerschlocker, you confide it in a total stranger
about me.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Oh you don't understand, mister j O.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
But I do, Miss Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (09:44):
This good friend of yours has opened these poor selfish
eyes to the truth.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
You mean it crazy?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, that's right, honey. You thought mister Jeffers was a
tight fisted louse, But he's going to show you the
kind of louse he really is. An't to mister Jeffery.
Speaker 8 (09:58):
Oh but dear girl, but definitely you mean I'm going
to get it?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Is that you are, my dear.
Speaker 8 (10:07):
Now how long a vacation did the good doctor suggest
you take this, Hammerslaga?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Two weeks?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, come, come, ladies. After all, a human life, a
precious human life, depends on these how many weeks? Six
it is?
Speaker 8 (10:23):
And when you come back, nice and refreshed with your
strength and energy, replenished with roses in those pale cheese. Yes,
look for another job. You're fired, fired, and I'm doubling
your surry mis Hamerslaga. Now you'll be losing twice as much. Goodbye.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Oh Mazey, Now I'm out of a job and I'll
never get that vacation.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Well, yes you will, honey. You're going to take a
trip someplace.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
But all I have in the world is ten dollars,
So cheer up.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I've saved a little money. You have. Now let's see
where can you go for ten dollars and seventy cents.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
The adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment, and now back to May.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Twelve.
Speaker 8 (12:02):
Now leave me from Boston, Cleveland, Hello, and Chicago. Oh,
give me a ticket, clerk past. You're so aware too,
It makes no difference. My wife's going away. I mean,
I want a ticket to Green Meadows.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Pardon me, Clerk.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
I like smintonation, but I was here first at you you.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Well, well, if it isn't the thing the DDT was
invented for, Clerk, I wanted was to ask a short question.
Speaker 8 (12:29):
Look, Clerk, I don't want my wife to miss that bus.
I need the rest.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
In that case, I'll make it a long question.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
But it took me months to talk my wife into
being sick. She might change your mind and not go.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
That's nice, clerk, I want to know.
Speaker 11 (12:44):
This is the ticket selling window. If you want to
know something, why don't you go to the information window.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well, that's silly. The line here is much shorter. Besides,
mister Jeffery's here don't deserve why he won't give others.
Speaker 11 (12:56):
I'm sorry, miss, but this gentleman is ahead of you
in line.
Speaker 8 (12:59):
He is yeah ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh say, look there goes a girl with one of
those new French bathing suits. Yeah where wait click now,
I'm pretty.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
I don't see any girl.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Just look forward. There's one standing right in front of you.
Speaker 11 (13:16):
You, Miss.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
This is a dirty trick, but.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Not as dirty as the one you played on. Miss, Hammerschlagger.
That poor girl deserves to go someplace.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yes, and I'd like to tell you where you buying
a ticket for her?
Speaker 7 (13:27):
If so, miswhare too well, I don't know yet.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I'm just here shopping, shopping. Someday Nancy's gonna have enough
money for a vacation. It might take months, but there's
nothing like finding out the nice places where she can go.
I'm not the kind that waits till the last minute.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Here what I am?
Speaker 8 (13:46):
If I don't get this ticket for birth, she might
decide to stay and the bus leaves in a few minutes.
Speaker 11 (13:52):
Has you over a bit of a barrel, doesn't she?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So yeah, mister Jeffery, Now you know how it feels
not to get something new but waiting for for years.
Speaker 8 (14:02):
Well look, look I'll take this Hammerschlager back and give
her a vacation.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Hello, the whole week with pay?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Oh okay, okay, with pay two weeks one week?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Hmm? Do you have any other suggestions? Clerk?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Oh okay, I'm a desperate man.
Speaker 8 (14:21):
A complete vacation from miss Homerschlaga with two weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Pay, and you'll buy the bus ticket.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Buy the bus ticket, clerk, it's very nice in Arizona
this time of year. Good for rheumatism, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh well, I don't think Nancy needs rheumatism. She has
enough thing's wrong with her. Now.
Speaker 8 (14:41):
Oh, okay, okay, I'll buy the ticket one way.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
One way.
Speaker 11 (14:46):
A trip to the Canadian Rockies would be just dandy
for your friend.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Miss.
Speaker 11 (14:50):
Do you think she can't go up to Lake Louise
and bams.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Well, I imagine Nancy would like Lake Louise, but I don't
think she knows how to bam.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
They got instructors. You're okay, okay, a round trip ticket
to Lake.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Louise by mister Jeffery. You're so kind to your employees,
doing these little things for them out of the kindness
of your heart.
Speaker 8 (15:10):
He's sure sure anything is worth getting rid of. Birthday tonight,
I got a date with the girl.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
I mean, we're with a couple.
Speaker 11 (15:17):
Of fellas well. Miss, here's the ticket.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
For your friend. That'll be eighty seven dollars. Eighty seven
dollars click.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Tell me all about how vacations are and all the
other forty eight stays.
Speaker 11 (15:30):
Well, let's start from the beginning alphabetically.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Alabama. Never mind, here's your money. Thank you. Here's the ticket.
Speaker 11 (15:38):
Miss your friend's bus leaves in two hours.
Speaker 8 (15:41):
Thank you, good bless look Benedict Donald, I had like
a quick ticket.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yes a minute, mister Jeffries. Aren't you forgetting something?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
What do you want me to do?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Now?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Buy us something to read on the bust a while
away the long hours?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh no, mister Jeffies, I think you've done enough for
the poor girl. Now all I want is to two
weeks pay in a dance.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'll send it to her.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Tell me more about Alabama, clerk.
Speaker 8 (16:08):
Okay, okay, here's the money now, clerk. For goodness sake,
that ticket for old hatchet face.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh and I think you were first in line, mister Jeffries.
Do forgive me. I'll rush down to Nancy's place and
tell her you reconsidered about everything. Goodbye? Now, I guess
your wife farewell.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
You don't believe I wouldn't like to? How clerk? Hurry? Please?
One ticket to Green Meadows?
Speaker 11 (16:29):
Hey, yes, sir, a return ticket too, Yeah, done it,
and here you are, sir. That'll be three dollars and
eighteen cents.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Sure, sure, three dollars? He Oh my gosh, what's the matter.
Don't you think it's worth.
Speaker 8 (16:41):
It, sure, sure, but I don't have a cent on me.
I gave my last dollar to that female Simon Lagery.
Speaker 11 (16:48):
No money to get your wife out of town. Oh,
I know exactly how you feel, sir.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
I'm married to clerk. I mean, good friend. Do you
catch checks checks? That's what I thought.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
I can't believe it, Mayzie, I just can't my job back.
Two weeks vacation up at Lake Louise with Pate or
how did you ever do it?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I don't deserve all the credit, Nancy. Most of it
goes to missus Jeffries.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Missus Jeffries. But she's a real nasty old witch. Did
you ever see her?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
No? But her husband did do much of it. Well,
come on, honey, let's get your bag packed. Your bus
leaves in an hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Oh, it won't take me longer. I don't have much, Mayzie.
What do you do with Lake Louise?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
They have everything a girl wants for a vacation. They
have nine and nine and fellas.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Yeah, but look at me, Mayzie. Do you see think
a man? Would you know?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
For me?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Then there's golfing and fishing. He got something to catch
a fish? Nancy, No, what do you need? Well, there's
a pole and a hook, and I guess you'll need
to buy a worm.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Gosh, I still have my packing to do, Mazie. I
know you've really extended yourself for me.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Oh well, sure, honey, I'll buy your fishing equipment for you.
We got the loot to do it with now.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
And see, it would be nice to buy the stuff
at mister Jeffrey's store. I mean, after all he did
for me, don't you think you should give him the business?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Honey? You got something there. If there's anything I've enjoyed,
it's given mister Jeffries the business. Be right back.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
Good afternoon, miss, Can I help you?
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I would like something to catch fish with?
Speaker 7 (19:03):
Oh you want a rod?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
A rod? I want to catch fish, not shoot him.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
But that's a good way to.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
A friend of mine is going away, so let me
have one of them fishing poles, one of those cute
little cork things that floats, and a small worm, a
small Well, she's a beginner, just wants to catch a
little fish to start with.
Speaker 7 (19:25):
He is. They're the cutest. Now, let's see how about
a line?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Oh, I'll tell her and you must write to her too.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
That's part of the fishing years. Now. He is a
nice rod. It's all rigged up.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh well, isn't it sort of skinny?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Fat? One's a more expensiveness and this one is a
real beauty.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Here.
Speaker 7 (19:45):
Just try casting with this rod?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Is okay? I'll do that.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Now, just a wee shortcast man. After all, we are
in the store, you know, Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Here goes far. Oh I think I caught.
Speaker 7 (20:02):
Something, miss, I said, a shortcast. You broke off front window? Well,
now what do you have to say?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
How much are your golf clubs?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Mister Gordon? Who in founderation? Did they you? Again?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Hello, mister Jeffries, we meet again. Small world, isn't it
small enough?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Didn't you know you're not supposed to use that rod
in here?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But how was? I don't know. There ain't no signs around,
no fishing a lot.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
I'm sorry about that broken window, mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 8 (20:30):
Yes, somebody else is going to be sorry. That window
costs me one thousand dollars. Well, miss, what do you
have to say?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
But it ain't worth it, mister Jeffries. It has a
big hole in.
Speaker 8 (20:40):
It, and you put it there, and you're going to
pay for it, and.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I don't have a thousand dollars.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
I'm glad now you can just stay here and work
it out until it's all paid for.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Mess, but the de will take months. And I got
to be back at Miss Hammerschlaggers. Her bus leaves in
an hour, and I got the ticket. You remember, mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oh can I forget? Because of you?
Speaker 8 (20:59):
My wife missed her bus and I had to buy
her a plane ticket.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
A plane tickets. But where missus Jeffers is going is
only seventy miles.
Speaker 8 (21:06):
A week, Gordon.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
When I want to get rid of a wife, money
is no object. Come with me, miss, But.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Mister Jeffrey, I can't sell anything. Why. I once worked
in a five and ten cent store and was fired
because I couldn't remember the prices.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
All prices.
Speaker 8 (21:19):
You're going to remember, woman, and you're going to learn
how to sell too. You chiseled me out of enough
money for one day. Come with me, No, No, Miss
Revere Jehosavan. How can you be so difficult to teach?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh, it's easy when you put your mind to it,
Mister Jeffrey, Nancy's waiting for a bus.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Ticket, shnaked.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
I'm going to make a sales girl out of you,
or die trying.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Okay, but I'll bet you tutor when you can't make.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
It, we shall see. Now let's pretend once more that
I'm the customer here. I come into the store again.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Silly boy. What can I do for you, sir?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I'd like to buy a mouse trap?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yes, sir? How many mice do you have in your house?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You know, hundreds of them.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, in that case, you want one of our large
mouse traps.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
You never mind, Look, just sell me a trap. I'm
in a hurry, in a hurry. Yes, my wife wants
to catch your plate.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Oh well, I don't think we have traps that lot.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Oh my goodness, you'll never make a sales go.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Oh thank you, sir. That's what I've been telling you. Goodbye, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh no, you don't come back here.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I got to get to Nancy with a ticket. Let go,
take your hands off.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Let go.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
And I don't want the whole world to know what's
going on down here?
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Do you mind?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
If I know this girl is trying to get away
from me? After all, she's cool.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Oh you're just in time that had him.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
So it seems I've.
Speaker 12 (22:48):
Always suspected my husband of having a sharp eye for
the lady. And now I know why you were so
anxious to get me out of town.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Oh so you're the old battle axe, Herb. It's been
telling me about Bedlax.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Reveal this all Battleax is my wife, I mean, was
your wife, Heavett.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
It's a good thing.
Speaker 12 (23:08):
I decided to drop into the store to say goodbye,
because now it is goodbye.
Speaker 8 (23:12):
Okay, give us your care, divorce mevia all my money
everything it's in your name.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, I guess i'll leave now. Herbert can't keep Lake
Louise waiting, you know Lake Louise. Yeah, thanks to your husband,
missus hatches face, I mean Jeffries, a certain lovely young
girl is gone away for a two week vacation with
pay and all expense is taken care of.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
Herber's arranged all this.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, yeah, because I had to work on him a little.
You know how your husband is, Missus Jeffrey.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
No, but I'm learning.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I know what you'll say to you.
Speaker 12 (23:46):
So, Herbert, Jeffries, now you're arranging for expensive vacations for
your more glamorous sales girls.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Oh glamorous. Well, I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Missus Jeffrey, you look only did it because she insisted.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, and he had a bribed the doctor to get
you go away.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yes, I I am looking.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Since when have you decided to change to.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
A good Oh?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Years ago?
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I meant you herb it.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
You don't understand both At the.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Time was so short and you wanted to have one
last fling you.
Speaker 12 (24:21):
Well, you can have it, Herbert, but you're not gonna
have the money to fling it very far.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Goodbye, goodbye, missus Jeffrey, have a nice.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Trip you love.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Miss Revere. You can straighten this whole thing. I'll tell
my wife the whole truth.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Oh but how can I run after her? I'm supposed
to be here working. It's selling.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You won't forget about all that?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Do you?
Speaker 8 (24:42):
Just tell her about poor drab old Miss Harberschluger.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You mean the one who has to go all the
way to such a nice place like like like Lake
Louise without a decent wardrobe.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
You all get her a wardrobe and.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
No golf clubs, lots of spending money and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Did you get it? Every Just tell my wife the truth?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Oh you mean about Nancy coming back to work for
you at a raise a race. Now, look here, how
do you do sir? Can I interest you in a
mousetrap today?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Okay, okay, you mean you're bia? No, no, anything.
Speaker 8 (25:15):
You want to raise shorter hours, longer lunch periods.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh gosh, that's great, mister Jeffrey, you're really a wonderful boss.
You want to know something Tomorrow, I think I'm going
to start working here.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh no, no, in just the moment, we shall return
to the adventures of Mazie now once again.
Speaker 11 (26:23):
Here is well.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
For a while, I didn't think those scare tactics with
mister Jefferies would work, because there's an old saying that
you can lead a horse to water, but you can't
make him drink unless he's a jackass. Anyway, Nancy's on
her way to a beautiful hotel for her vacation, and
I hope she catches more than just fish, and I
think she might too. She really has a nice figure
(26:46):
and she has brains too, which is what a man
looks for in a woman after he's looked for everything else. Well,
I got to go back to my boarding house now
and figure out my menu for the rest of the week.
Got to make up for that pind of blood I
gave this morning. I wonder how many cans of beans
make one kind of blood?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
You have just heard. The Adventures of Mazie, starring and
Southern Mazie, was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was
composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included Elvia Allman,
(27:34):
Peter Leeds, Frank Nelson, Sammy Hill, and Howard McNair, Jack
McCoy speaking
Speaker 7 (28:01):
E
I have, babe, say, how about a little girl?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
The Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern. You all remember
Metro Golden Mayor's famous Mazie pictures. In just a moment,
you'll hear Mazie in radio, starring the same glamorous star
you all went to see and loved on the screen.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
And Southern.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
But first you're announcer.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Our heirs and Southern as Mazie.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yep, I'm mazy like the fella, said Mazie Revere, Just
a gal who ain't concerned about taking it with me
when I go, because when you're in show business like me,
you're used to traveling light.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
The way I figure it, today will be yesterday tomorrow.
But for a lot of people, there wouldn't be a
tomorrow if it weren't for certain organizations called the bud Banks.
And if you'll pardon a small pun, these are the
only banks in the world that can't operate unless they're
in the red. I know the wonderful work these outfits
do because three times a week I work at one
(01:55):
of the banks. Is a sort of receive and teller
in charge of deposits there's no honey involved in any
of this. The only compensation you get is that a
life may be saved, and who can tell, maybe that
life will be yours. Oh, miss, miss, I hope you
don't mind my not getting up from the desk. Honey,
I just gave another pint of my blood.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Gosh, a whole pine. Doesn't that make you a little weak?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh not the least, miss, And it's all over before
you can snap your fingers like this like this. Well,
I guess I am just a little weak. What can
I do for you, honey?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Well I heard about these blood pangs and I thought
that I could.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Oh no, Girley, we just take. We don't give, but
I'd like to give a little. Well, you're a swell
galfa wanting to help, But we're in the business of
saving lives, not throwing them away. Yes, but I tell
you what, you build yourself up a little, I mean
a lot, and then in a couple of years you
come back.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
But that's exactly why I'm here, my health, That's why
I want to sell my blood.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Oh honey, we don't pay our donors. They give for free.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
They don't get paid.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Well, only with something you can't put in the bank. Honey,
gratitude and human lives, you see, miss.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Nancy, Nancy Homer Schlugger.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Oh, oh, well, it's silly to cry over a thing
like that, Nancy. And you got to do is change
your second name.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Oh, you don't understand, my doctor, He says, I need
to have a long vacation. I shouldn't work for at
least a couple of weeks to go to a nice hotel,
meet some nice young men. Maybe.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Well the dog is ride, Nancy, and you should take
your blood with you.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Mister Jeffries, that's my boss, he said. I'm not eligible
for a vacation yet. I've only worked for him for
two years.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Two years with no vacation. Where do you work at
a chain gang?
Speaker 6 (03:51):
No, mister Jeffers has a store on Market in fifty,
a small department store.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
I'm a sales girl. Mister Jeffrey said that if I
continue to work.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Real hard, he'd give you every other labor day off.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Huh, oh, you know, mister Jeffries.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
No, but I'm going to meet him, Nancy and get
you that vacation with pay.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
But you can't do that, mister Jeffries. He doesn't like
to be told what to do.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Oh, well, don't worry. I'm not going to tell him.
I'm just going to ask him.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You'll appeal to him as a man.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
For sure. How old is this mister Jeffries?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Sixty?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
In that case, I'll have to appeal to him as
a man. He's too old for me to appeal to
him as a woman. Now, now you run along back
to work, Nancy, and leave everything a little mazy.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Oh gosh, maze. I can't understand why you're doing this
for me. I'm a total stranger, Honey.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
There are no strangers in this world. There aren't no
We're all just people, people who haven't been formally introduced.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Yes, mister Jeffries at once?
Speaker 7 (05:02):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Sir? Did I do anything?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Miss Hammerschlagger?
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Do you recall what I said to you when you
came to me two years ago and said you'd be
willing to work for half of what anybody else here
was getting.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Yes, sir, you said you're hired.
Speaker 8 (05:15):
Actually, I mean you remember that I said all my
salespeople are allowed one hour and one hour.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Exactly for lunch.
Speaker 8 (05:22):
Yes, sir, Well, if you'll gaze at the clock, you'll
notice it's now one thirty and one half, Miss Hammerschlagger,
you're exactly thirty seconds late.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
I'm sorry, sir, but I went to the.
Speaker 8 (05:35):
Bloodbed, the bloodbed, Miss Hammerschlager, when I hired you as
a sales girl, I hired the entire Miss Nancy Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Blood and all.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Yes, sir, thank you, Sir.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
You may return to your count of Miss Hamerschlager and
be thankful that I'm in a gracious mood today.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Oh yes, sir, I thought you were kinder than usual today.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yes, and justifiably so, Miss Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (05:58):
This morning, Missus jeff please told me something that I've
waited to hear since the day we were first married.
You mean, yes, Missus Jeffries went to the doctors this morning,
and it's true.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Really, she has to go away for a long rast. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
I'm going down to the bus station this afternoon and
buy the ticket and now back to work.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Miss How much like a hurry hurry?
Speaker 8 (06:20):
This trip is costing me plenty, but it's worth every dollar,
including the bribe I gave the doctor.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Oh yes, sir, I've seen Missus Jeffries. Sir, Hey, yes, sir,
What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Sir?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Oh, yes, mansion.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
What can we do for you today?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Penny Stall has it? Jeffries has it? And what can
we show you today?
Speaker 9 (06:42):
The floor marks, fly swater, bathing cap, beach umbrella, Bobby pins,
lamp chains, laodium, lawnmower, dog collar, no ironing, born, electric fan, paints, prayer, beach,
bad deep frieze radio.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What was that next to the last one?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Did dree? No?
Speaker 8 (07:00):
Yeah it miss, I'm a busy man. Exactly what do
you want?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Well, I'd like to see mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well why didn't you say so?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
You didn't come to it yet?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I was working up to it. I'm mister Jeffries.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Oh how do you do?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm just peachy fine, miss. Now what can I do
for you?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Well, mister Jeffries. Yeah, Well, miss Jeffries, you don't know
me and I don't know you, true, true, Well what
I mean is yeah, Well, what I mean is you
don't know me and I don't know you.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Well, now we're getting someplace, aren't we.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Well, mister Jeffries, I know you have a heart and
a soul and a conscience.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It is if you're here to take inventory no, no.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It's not that, mister Jeffries. As well, you have an
employee here named Nancy Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
Oh yes, one of my most trusted employees. Very efficient,
very efficient.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
But she won't be efficient long, mister Jeffries, have you
noticed how thin and sickly she is?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
And miss exactly what are you getting at?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, mister Jeffries, Well, Nancy's all run down and her
doctor says she needs a vacationer at least two weeks
with pay or else. Well, I said it, and I'm
glad it's.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
So am I so our dear poor miss Hammerschlager's health
hangs in the balance.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
A little ignorant me is standing in the way of
her future.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yes, oh, poor tired Nancy's so loyal. I told her
you couldn't be the hard hearted louse. She said you were, Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So, Miss Hammerschlager said, I was allowed.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, but in a nice way.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Oh well that was very kind of.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
And Miss, how much of a vacation did the good
doctor prescribe for the poor delicate creature?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Well, two weeks. And if you just do this little
thing for Miss Hammerschlagger, you will make a friend for life.
Speaker 10 (08:57):
Gee, gosh, and missus Hemmerschlager, Oh, miss Hemmerschlager. Jeffery, Yes,
dear girl, come here, lifelong friend, Yes.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Sir mister Jeffries. Oh amaz, it's you.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, and don't be nervous, Nancy, Honey, mister Jefferes isn't
half as nasty as he looks he is.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
I mean, you talk to him, explained.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
The entire story, my dear, and you'll never know how
this old friend of yours helped you in your hour
of me.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
Oh, amaze, he isn't an old friend. I just met
her during my lunch hour at the blood bank.
Speaker 8 (09:34):
Will Miss Hammerschlocker, you confide it in a total stranger
about me.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Oh you don't understand, mister j O.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
But I do, Miss Hammerschlagger.
Speaker 8 (09:44):
This good friend of yours has opened these poor selfish
eyes to the truth.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
You mean it crazy?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, that's right, honey. You thought mister Jeffers was a
tight fisted louse, But he's going to show you the
kind of louse he really is. An't to mister Jeffery.
Speaker 8 (09:58):
Oh but dear girl, but definitely you mean I'm going
to get it?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Is that you are, my dear.
Speaker 8 (10:07):
Now how long a vacation did the good doctor suggest
you take this, Hammerslaga?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Two weeks?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, come, come, ladies. After all, a human life, a
precious human life, depends on these how many weeks? Six
it is?
Speaker 8 (10:23):
And when you come back, nice and refreshed with your
strength and energy, replenished with roses in those pale cheese. Yes,
look for another job. You're fired, fired, and I'm doubling
your surry mis Hamerslaga. Now you'll be losing twice as much. Goodbye.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Oh Mazey, Now I'm out of a job and I'll
never get that vacation.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Well, yes you will, honey. You're going to take a
trip someplace.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
But all I have in the world is ten dollars,
So cheer up.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I've saved a little money. You have. Now let's see
where can you go for ten dollars and seventy cents.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
The adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment, and now back to May.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Twelve.
Speaker 8 (12:02):
Now leave me from Boston, Cleveland, Hello, and Chicago. Oh,
give me a ticket, clerk past. You're so aware too,
It makes no difference. My wife's going away. I mean,
I want a ticket to Green Meadows.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Pardon me, Clerk.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
I like smintonation, but I was here first at you you.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Well, well, if it isn't the thing the DDT was
invented for, Clerk, I wanted was to ask a short question.
Speaker 8 (12:29):
Look, Clerk, I don't want my wife to miss that bus.
I need the rest.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
In that case, I'll make it a long question.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
But it took me months to talk my wife into
being sick. She might change your mind and not go.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
That's nice, clerk, I want to know.
Speaker 11 (12:44):
This is the ticket selling window. If you want to
know something, why don't you go to the information window.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well, that's silly. The line here is much shorter. Besides,
mister Jeffery's here don't deserve why he won't give others.
Speaker 11 (12:56):
I'm sorry, miss, but this gentleman is ahead of you
in line.
Speaker 8 (12:59):
He is yeah ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh say, look there goes a girl with one of
those new French bathing suits. Yeah where wait click now,
I'm pretty.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
I don't see any girl.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Just look forward. There's one standing right in front of you.
Speaker 11 (13:16):
You, Miss.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
This is a dirty trick, but.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Not as dirty as the one you played on. Miss, Hammerschlagger.
That poor girl deserves to go someplace.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yes, and I'd like to tell you where you buying
a ticket for her?
Speaker 7 (13:27):
If so, miswhare too well, I don't know yet.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I'm just here shopping, shopping. Someday Nancy's gonna have enough
money for a vacation. It might take months, but there's
nothing like finding out the nice places where she can go.
I'm not the kind that waits till the last minute.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Here what I am?
Speaker 8 (13:46):
If I don't get this ticket for birth, she might
decide to stay and the bus leaves in a few minutes.
Speaker 11 (13:52):
Has you over a bit of a barrel, doesn't she?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So yeah, mister Jeffery, Now you know how it feels
not to get something new but waiting for for years.
Speaker 8 (14:02):
Well look, look I'll take this Hammerschlager back and give
her a vacation.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Hello, the whole week with pay?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Oh okay, okay, with pay two weeks one week?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Hmm? Do you have any other suggestions? Clerk?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Oh okay, I'm a desperate man.
Speaker 8 (14:21):
A complete vacation from miss Homerschlaga with two weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Pay, and you'll buy the bus ticket.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Buy the bus ticket, clerk, it's very nice in Arizona
this time of year. Good for rheumatism, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh well, I don't think Nancy needs rheumatism. She has
enough thing's wrong with her. Now.
Speaker 8 (14:41):
Oh, okay, okay, I'll buy the ticket one way.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
One way.
Speaker 11 (14:46):
A trip to the Canadian Rockies would be just dandy
for your friend.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Miss.
Speaker 11 (14:50):
Do you think she can't go up to Lake Louise
and bams.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Well, I imagine Nancy would like Lake Louise, but I don't
think she knows how to bam.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
They got instructors. You're okay, okay, a round trip ticket
to Lake.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Louise by mister Jeffery. You're so kind to your employees,
doing these little things for them out of the kindness
of your heart.
Speaker 8 (15:10):
He's sure sure anything is worth getting rid of. Birthday tonight,
I got a date with the girl.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
I mean, we're with a couple.
Speaker 11 (15:17):
Of fellas well. Miss, here's the ticket.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
For your friend. That'll be eighty seven dollars. Eighty seven
dollars click.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Tell me all about how vacations are and all the
other forty eight stays.
Speaker 11 (15:30):
Well, let's start from the beginning alphabetically.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Alabama. Never mind, here's your money. Thank you. Here's the ticket.
Speaker 11 (15:38):
Miss your friend's bus leaves in two hours.
Speaker 8 (15:41):
Thank you, good bless look Benedict Donald, I had like
a quick ticket.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yes a minute, mister Jeffries. Aren't you forgetting something?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
What do you want me to do?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Now?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Buy us something to read on the bust a while
away the long hours?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh no, mister Jeffies, I think you've done enough for
the poor girl. Now all I want is to two
weeks pay in a dance.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'll send it to her.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Tell me more about Alabama, clerk.
Speaker 8 (16:08):
Okay, okay, here's the money now, clerk. For goodness sake,
that ticket for old hatchet face.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh and I think you were first in line, mister Jeffries.
Do forgive me. I'll rush down to Nancy's place and
tell her you reconsidered about everything. Goodbye? Now, I guess
your wife farewell.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
You don't believe I wouldn't like to? How clerk? Hurry? Please?
One ticket to Green Meadows?
Speaker 11 (16:29):
Hey, yes, sir, a return ticket too, Yeah, done it,
and here you are, sir. That'll be three dollars and
eighteen cents.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Sure, sure, three dollars? He Oh my gosh, what's the matter.
Don't you think it's worth.
Speaker 8 (16:41):
It, sure, sure, but I don't have a cent on me.
I gave my last dollar to that female Simon Lagery.
Speaker 11 (16:48):
No money to get your wife out of town. Oh,
I know exactly how you feel, sir.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
I'm married to clerk. I mean, good friend. Do you
catch checks checks? That's what I thought.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
I can't believe it, Mayzie, I just can't my job back.
Two weeks vacation up at Lake Louise with Pate or
how did you ever do it?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I don't deserve all the credit, Nancy. Most of it
goes to missus Jeffries.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Missus Jeffries. But she's a real nasty old witch. Did
you ever see her?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
No? But her husband did do much of it. Well,
come on, honey, let's get your bag packed. Your bus
leaves in an hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Oh, it won't take me longer. I don't have much, Mayzie.
What do you do with Lake Louise?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
They have everything a girl wants for a vacation. They
have nine and nine and fellas.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Yeah, but look at me, Mayzie. Do you see think
a man? Would you know?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
For me?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Then there's golfing and fishing. He got something to catch
a fish? Nancy, No, what do you need? Well, there's
a pole and a hook, and I guess you'll need
to buy a worm.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Gosh, I still have my packing to do, Mazie. I
know you've really extended yourself for me.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Oh well, sure, honey, I'll buy your fishing equipment for you.
We got the loot to do it with now.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
And see, it would be nice to buy the stuff
at mister Jeffrey's store. I mean, after all he did
for me, don't you think you should give him the business?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Honey? You got something there. If there's anything I've enjoyed,
it's given mister Jeffries the business. Be right back.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
Good afternoon, miss, Can I help you?
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I would like something to catch fish with?
Speaker 7 (19:03):
Oh you want a rod?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
A rod? I want to catch fish, not shoot him.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
But that's a good way to.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
A friend of mine is going away, so let me
have one of them fishing poles, one of those cute
little cork things that floats, and a small worm, a
small Well, she's a beginner, just wants to catch a
little fish to start with.
Speaker 7 (19:25):
He is. They're the cutest. Now, let's see how about
a line?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Oh, I'll tell her and you must write to her too.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
That's part of the fishing years. Now. He is a
nice rod. It's all rigged up.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh well, isn't it sort of skinny?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Fat? One's a more expensiveness and this one is a
real beauty.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Here.
Speaker 7 (19:45):
Just try casting with this rod?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Is okay? I'll do that.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Now, just a wee shortcast man. After all, we are
in the store, you know, Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Here goes far. Oh I think I caught.
Speaker 7 (20:02):
Something, miss, I said, a shortcast. You broke off front window? Well,
now what do you have to say?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
How much are your golf clubs?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Mister Gordon? Who in founderation? Did they you? Again?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Hello, mister Jeffries, we meet again. Small world, isn't it
small enough?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Didn't you know you're not supposed to use that rod
in here?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But how was? I don't know. There ain't no signs around,
no fishing a lot.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
I'm sorry about that broken window, mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 8 (20:30):
Yes, somebody else is going to be sorry. That window
costs me one thousand dollars. Well, miss, what do you
have to say?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
But it ain't worth it, mister Jeffries. It has a
big hole in.
Speaker 8 (20:40):
It, and you put it there, and you're going to
pay for it, and.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I don't have a thousand dollars.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
I'm glad now you can just stay here and work
it out until it's all paid for.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Mess, but the de will take months. And I got
to be back at Miss Hammerschlaggers. Her bus leaves in
an hour, and I got the ticket. You remember, mister Jeffrey.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oh can I forget? Because of you?
Speaker 8 (20:59):
My wife missed her bus and I had to buy
her a plane ticket.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
A plane tickets. But where missus Jeffers is going is
only seventy miles.
Speaker 8 (21:06):
A week, Gordon.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
When I want to get rid of a wife, money
is no object. Come with me, miss, But.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Mister Jeffrey, I can't sell anything. Why. I once worked
in a five and ten cent store and was fired
because I couldn't remember the prices.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
All prices.
Speaker 8 (21:19):
You're going to remember, woman, and you're going to learn
how to sell too. You chiseled me out of enough
money for one day. Come with me, No, No, Miss
Revere Jehosavan. How can you be so difficult to teach?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh, it's easy when you put your mind to it,
Mister Jeffrey, Nancy's waiting for a bus.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Ticket, shnaked.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
I'm going to make a sales girl out of you,
or die trying.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Okay, but I'll bet you tutor when you can't make.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
It, we shall see. Now let's pretend once more that
I'm the customer here. I come into the store again.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Silly boy. What can I do for you, sir?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I'd like to buy a mouse trap?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yes, sir? How many mice do you have in your house?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You know, hundreds of them.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, in that case, you want one of our large
mouse traps.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
You never mind, Look, just sell me a trap. I'm
in a hurry, in a hurry. Yes, my wife wants
to catch your plate.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Oh well, I don't think we have traps that lot.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Oh my goodness, you'll never make a sales go.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Oh thank you, sir. That's what I've been telling you. Goodbye, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh no, you don't come back here.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I got to get to Nancy with a ticket. Let go,
take your hands off.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Let go.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
And I don't want the whole world to know what's
going on down here?
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Do you mind?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
If I know this girl is trying to get away
from me? After all, she's cool.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Oh you're just in time that had him.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
So it seems I've.
Speaker 12 (22:48):
Always suspected my husband of having a sharp eye for
the lady. And now I know why you were so
anxious to get me out of town.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Oh so you're the old battle axe, Herb. It's been
telling me about Bedlax.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Reveal this all Battleax is my wife, I mean, was
your wife, Heavett.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
It's a good thing.
Speaker 12 (23:08):
I decided to drop into the store to say goodbye,
because now it is goodbye.
Speaker 8 (23:12):
Okay, give us your care, divorce mevia all my money
everything it's in your name.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, I guess i'll leave now. Herbert can't keep Lake
Louise waiting, you know Lake Louise. Yeah, thanks to your husband,
missus hatches face, I mean Jeffries, a certain lovely young
girl is gone away for a two week vacation with
pay and all expense is taken care of.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
Herber's arranged all this.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, yeah, because I had to work on him a little.
You know how your husband is, Missus Jeffrey.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
No, but I'm learning.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I know what you'll say to you.
Speaker 12 (23:46):
So, Herbert, Jeffries, now you're arranging for expensive vacations for
your more glamorous sales girls.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Oh glamorous. Well, I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Missus Jeffrey, you look only did it because she insisted.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, and he had a bribed the doctor to get
you go away.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yes, I I am looking.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Since when have you decided to change to.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
A good Oh?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Years ago?
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I meant you herb it.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
You don't understand both At the.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Time was so short and you wanted to have one
last fling you.
Speaker 12 (24:21):
Well, you can have it, Herbert, but you're not gonna
have the money to fling it very far.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Goodbye, goodbye, missus Jeffrey, have a nice.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Trip you love.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Miss Revere. You can straighten this whole thing. I'll tell
my wife the whole truth.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Oh but how can I run after her? I'm supposed
to be here working. It's selling.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You won't forget about all that?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Do you?
Speaker 8 (24:42):
Just tell her about poor drab old Miss Harberschluger.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You mean the one who has to go all the
way to such a nice place like like like Lake
Louise without a decent wardrobe.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
You all get her a wardrobe and.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
No golf clubs, lots of spending money and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Did you get it? Every Just tell my wife the truth?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Oh you mean about Nancy coming back to work for
you at a raise a race. Now, look here, how
do you do sir? Can I interest you in a
mousetrap today?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Okay, okay, you mean you're bia? No, no, anything.
Speaker 8 (25:15):
You want to raise shorter hours, longer lunch periods.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh gosh, that's great, mister Jeffrey, you're really a wonderful boss.
You want to know something Tomorrow, I think I'm going
to start working here.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh no, no, in just the moment, we shall return
to the adventures of Mazie now once again.
Speaker 11 (26:23):
Here is well.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
For a while, I didn't think those scare tactics with
mister Jefferies would work, because there's an old saying that
you can lead a horse to water, but you can't
make him drink unless he's a jackass. Anyway, Nancy's on
her way to a beautiful hotel for her vacation, and
I hope she catches more than just fish, and I
think she might too. She really has a nice figure
(26:46):
and she has brains too, which is what a man
looks for in a woman after he's looked for everything else. Well,
I got to go back to my boarding house now
and figure out my menu for the rest of the week.
Got to make up for that pind of blood I
gave this morning. I wonder how many cans of beans
make one kind of blood?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
You have just heard. The Adventures of Mazie, starring and
Southern Mazie, was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was
composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included Elvia Allman,
(27:34):
Peter Leeds, Frank Nelson, Sammy Hill, and Howard McNair, Jack
McCoy speaking
Speaker 7 (28:01):
E
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