July 31, 2025 • 28 mins
A comedy series featuring a spirited young woman navigating life's challenges with wit and charm, often finding herself in humorous situations. Her adventures are both entertaining and endearing.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
I have baby, say, hop on out.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern. You all remember Metro
Golden Mayor's famous Mazie pictures. Justin moment you hear Mazie
in radio starring the same glamorous star you all went
(00:33):
to see and loved on the screen. And Southern, But
first you're all outcer Now our here's Anne Southern as mazy.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yep, I'm mazy, like man said Maize Revere. For a
while I thought maybe perhaps there was a chance would
be changed to Maizie Jordan. But my boyfriend Eddie, well,
ever since he's been old enough to hold a steady job,
he hasn't. It's not that Eddie's lazy, But you see,
he went to college and studied stuff like fourteenth century
(01:44):
Flemish poetry, the art of rug weaving, amongst the natives
of Abystinia and all that stuff. There ain't a buck
in Eddie barely makes enough money to pay his room rent,
so we stay home a lot. Also, we are both
room in the same boarding house. And oh gosh, it
must be awful late. I'd better run up to Eddie's
room and wake him up or he'll be late for work. Eddie, Eddie,
(02:13):
it's mazy, Eddie. He told me last night to make
sure to wake you up at six thirty. You remember.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
What time is it? Now?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I don't know. I don't have a watch.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What time you got?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Mazy? How can I sleep with all that noise?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's what I can never understand, that loud snoring would
wake anybody up?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Razy. Would you please go in and let me be?
I've got I got twenty eight minutes yet before I have.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
To give my all to Bixell's department store Men's accessories department.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I know, and I thought i'd give you a little
extra time to relax before work. If I've brought you
a little.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Coffee, okay, thanks, Uh just pour it under the door.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
But Eddie, oh well, I might as well get up now,
I can't sleep anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Good slip on something? Lem me in sure, sure, Eddie?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
What happened I slept on something? Okay? You can come
on and no.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Good morning, Eddie, Darling. Oh it's a beautiful mine. Look
the sun is shining, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's the moon.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Say what's that gray stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Your coffee?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh? You'd sure make a wonderful wife.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh Eddie, this is so sudden. Let's get married real soon?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh sure, sure?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
How soon?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
For instance?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, I hate to rush you, but would after lunch
be too soon?
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Mazie, you know we can't get married or what I
make at the store. As a matter of fact, I'm
not so sure Bixel's Department store fields that I'm exactly
indispensable to the merchandising world.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Eddie. They haven't said anything. You haven't been shooting spitballs
at the floor walker with brand new imported Frenchman's guardens again.
Have you promise me faithfully you'd be the perfect salesman.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
It's not that mazy, it's just those I'm not buying.
I'm just looking those kind of customers that I've been getting, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I just don't like morons.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Eddie Jordan. If you don't like morons, you don't like me. Uh,
I mean, if you can't try to make a living,
then I don't mean enough to you.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
But you do, Maisie. You're the most wonderful, marvelous, gorgeous,
most beautiful.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm not listening to a word you say, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Don't interrupt. Now, let's see where was I most beautiful? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yes, the most beautiful girl in the world. But you
deserve better than me. You deserve a real man.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I don't want a real man. I want you. You
could be a success to Eddie. You do only put
your shoulder to the wheel instead of your head.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Mazie. I want to talk to you. It's very important
for both of us. But first I have to get dressed.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Okay, good desk and I'll wait for you down.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
The podet good.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
And while you're down there, asked missus Kennedy to make
out my board bill for this week.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh paying your board build There must be something wrong, Eddie.
What's this all about?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Well, I'll be down in ten minutes and tell you. Mayzie. Meanwhile,
if you don't mind, I have to show shave and
polish my shoes.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Your shoes, Eddie Jordan, have you met a new girl?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So long, Mazie, I'll see you downstairs in ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, and that's what Eddie said. Missus Kennedy. What do
you think this mystery is all about? Well, that's hard
to say, Mazie, Honey, when any of my daughters want
to pay their bill. Before I threatened to turn off
(05:27):
the lights in their room a few times.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
There must be something wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh gosh, missus Kennedy, do you think maybe Eddie's lost
interest in me? Well, Mazie, it could be another girl.
After all, Eddie's a man. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
He's a man.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh, I know, missus Kennedy. But there are men, and
there are men. Eddie's different, Yeah, different, and you face
a snazzy figure means absolutely nothing to him.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Yeah, means absolutely nothing to him.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah. Yeah, well, honey, that's that. What game shall we
play now, missus Kennedy? I hap him to trust Eddie implicitly.
Nothing you could say would make me believe that he's
interested in another girl.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
No, any idea who she may be?
Speaker 6 (06:19):
Missus Kennedy, Oh, amaze, forget it.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
There's nobody else in Eddie's life. And if there were,
he told you about it. Yeah. Well that's that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Now.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
What other games shall we play?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Games? Who's playing games?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Oh, missus Kennedy and me, we were just playing canasta
without cards. Well, yes, you see, we're both just learning
it and we're not good enough at it to play
with cards.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Amazing, I'd like to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
No, Oh good, I've been just dying to find out
what this is all about.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Missus Kennedy. This is a sort of private Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Missus Kennedy, I think your copy is about to bubble
over in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh yes, don't you think you ought to watch it?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What for I've seen coffee bubbling over lots of times
it comes up in the Oh yes, yes, Well out,
I'll go into the kitchen, buy kitties. And if you
happen to talk real loud, I thank you well, Eddie.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh h you mean the talk?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, the talk. We're alone now nobody can hear it,
she said, nobody can hear you.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Oh thanks, you're welcome. You might as welcome back in
missus Kennedy. I don't like to strain my voice.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Oh well, if you insist.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Yeah, mazy, honey, I'm not fit for this store.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Salesman work it well.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
It doesn't do anything to me inside except feed it.
But this is a salesman's job. I just can't sell things.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Well, you sold me, honey, and I don't buy easily.
You got everything to make your success, Eddie. You're cultured
and you're cultured.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah what else?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Well, yeah, you're write beautiful love letty.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Yes, but it so happens. You can't make money writing
love letters.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I had a girlfriend who did. She sold them back
to the banker who wrote them.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Mazy, honey, I've made up my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
I finished work at the store tonight, and then this
little piggy is going far, far away to.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Seek his fortune.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Going away, Eddie, any place in particular, robboy? Or are
you just gonna add libbit? Well, g Eddy, I don't
want to hold you back from anything you really want
to do. But where do you plan to go?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Well, Horace Greeley said, go west, Eddie.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Jordan, have you been talking to strange men in bars again, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Horace Greeley is an old newspaper man.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He died quite some time ago.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Probably from starvation. There's no money in old newspapers.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I wouldn't know. You know something. Maybe I'll get a
job in a ranch and be a cowboy.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Oh that's silly, Eddie. You can't be a cowboy. You
don't even play a guitar.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
I'll take lessons, yes, sir, I think I'll really enjoy
being a cowboy.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I can see myself now. I'm milking a cow and
a ten gallon hat.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You mean, instead of in a pail.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh, don't be so silly, missus.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Cake, And don't you be silly Eddie. You don't know
how to milk a cow. Well, you don't even know
where it keeps its crank cake.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Look, honey, I have to do something to make a living.
I have to eat, you.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Know, yep, And you might as well start with some breakfast.
Nobody can make a real good fool of himself on
an empty stomach. I'll fix you some grub takes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Gee.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
I'm sorry to be letting you down like this, Mazie,
but well, I gotta let you onto something with a future.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I'll never get rich selling men's socks, but.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Eddie had just gotta stick to something. You just can't
go roaming around the country kind to earn a buck.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Why not? You do it, don't you?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
But it's different in my case.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
I'm a woman, so wa there's no difference between men
and women.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
There must be, or they wouldn't have special nights for
each at Turkish baths.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oh, don't be corny, and don't you be so stubborn.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I'm giving you good advice. You don't want to spend
the rest of your life being a flop.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh so I'm a flop.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah, but in a nice way.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So long, Mazy Wire.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
You going Eddie work, but you haven't eaten your breakfast.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I might as well get used to going without breakfast.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh oh, here it is Eddie, a nice hot dish
of voat.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Where did Eddie go Maggie to work? He wasn't hungry.
Something was bothering him.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Watch, something was bothering him.
Speaker 7 (10:23):
Me. Good, good morning, Mazy good, good morning, Missus Kennedy
morning murten E.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Oh what's wrong, Maizie have a fight with Eddie?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
No thanks, I just had one eat your breakfast. Mister
Sunshine got a special today. You got your choice to
vote me.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
What's the choice? Take it or leave it? Maisie, honey,
aren't eating?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Well? I'm sorry, missus ca, I'm not hungry. Every time
I think of poor Eddie. I get a lump in
my throat every.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Time I eat missus Kennedy's ope, me, I get a
lump in mine.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
Yeah, well I just cracked that joke, you folks.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Up. Folks, save your comedy for mister Jordan murt He's
the one that needs cheering up.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Girl.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Thing came from breaking good Fred, how's about a slice
of toast, missus cake?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Sure, Murg what times white a whole week?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
It makes no difference. I want to put it under
the leg of the chair. I got the wobbly one
again this morning.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Here, murt you can have my chair. I'm finished. Oh
but Maizie, honey, you got to eat something. I'm not
hungry anymore. Ever since Eddie said he's gonna quit.
Speaker 7 (11:27):
His job, we're gonna quote right in the middle of
the contest.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Context what context?
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Oh haven't you heard? Heard what? And he didn't tell you?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Who didn't tell me? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:44):
Paddy Jamas Kelly, Hey, this jam is good?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Oh, for goodness, take murden. What is it, strawberry?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I think I mean the contest? Yeah, what's it about?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What happens take the spoon out of your cup while
you're drinking your coffee?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And what has it to do with Eddie? Huh? Oh?
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Oh, well, you see, the store is having a contest
and giving prizes for the one who wins.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Wins?
Speaker 6 (12:07):
What the contest?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Merton stopped talking so much and saying so little. Yeah,
you're an elevator operator, not a politician.
Speaker 7 (12:15):
The salesman and the sales lady who sell the most
stuff by closing time tonight wins a five hundred dollars prize.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Hey, they've got about two hundred salespeople.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Oh yeah, I guess that's why Eddie's so discouraged. He's
probably close to the bottom and the amount of sales
made so far.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Uh uh huh. He ain't close to the bottom here, isn't. No,
he's at the bottom.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Well, there's one good thing about it. He can't go
any lower.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Well, Mazie, honey, I can't very well blame Meddie for
not telling you the contest is the final store.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
They decided him on quitting the store. The poor boy
was ashamed to be in such an awful flop with
his order book.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, poor Eddie, he's such a helpless little schnuff. I
guess the only person he's ever been able to sell
with me. You know what that boy really needs is
for something to happen to give him faith in himself. Yeah,
like maybe by some miracle winning that prize at the store.
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Yeah, if he only had imagination like Henry Carter, he'd
stand a chance.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Who's Henry Carter.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
He's in Ladies girdles.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I hope the dear boy finds them comfortable.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
I don't, don't you.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
I mean he sells them. Henry's lead man in the
contest so far. And you know the funny thing about
it is that most of his.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
Customers are men.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That is funny. Yeah, most men are just interested in
what goes into the girdles.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
That's how Henry sells them with women already in them.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Say that store carries everything, doesn't it.
Speaker 7 (13:46):
Let me finish, is he Henry sells all those girdles
to men like demonstrating how funny their wives look when
they're struggling in the work.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh say, that's showmanship.
Speaker 7 (13:57):
Imagine Henry winning that contest because of us simple idea
like that. Yeah, he's gonna win five hundred bucks just
because he found something new that appealed to men.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I've got it. Got why, Well, well, it ain't new,
but it's appealed to men before laughs women women. Yeah,
missus Kennedy, you've heard of bazaars where men kiss women
for charity. Here, Well, what I mean is that Eddie
could maybe win that selling contest if he had an
idea behind it. Well, I'm that idea. I'm giving our
(14:28):
kisses today at Vixel's department store.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
You will if you buy a pair of socks.
Speaker 6 (14:34):
Pair of socks.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, that's it. And I've got a slogan, buy a
sock from Eddie and get a snack from Mazie. What
do you think?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I think it's worth a try, Mazie.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Gosh, imagine kissing all those men.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
How do you know? Have you ever kissed any man?
Speaker 7 (14:51):
I mean, well, Eddie wouldn't like his girlfriend kissing strange men,
so's he could be a success.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh that's silly. Look in the movies, eyes with husbands
and families kiss Jimmy Steward and Van Johnson, don't they
doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
It's a living yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
And if that ain't living, I don't know what is.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
I guess maybe you're right, amazing?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Good?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Then you then you'll help me, help you?
Speaker 7 (15:16):
Oh god, gosh, I don't think a man had want
to kiss me, especially when I need a shame.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
No, no, I mean, let me use your elevators as
sort of a display case.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
My elevator.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You mean you'll, yeah, and if you do, I won't forget.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Don't say no, Merton, say you'll do it.
Speaker 7 (15:31):
Oh oh, okay, Kenny, Okay, I'll do it, my jam Please.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
No, no, no, not like that, Merton.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Look me in the face and say you'll do it.
Come on now, look me in the.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Face, please, missus Kennedy, not while I'm eating.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
The Adventures of Mazing Starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
An hour. Back to.
Speaker 7 (16:44):
Elevator, going up, stepping please floors.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Please, third floor, second floor, Please, wouldn't you, gentleman, rather
bunch them together and go to the ninth floor or
ninth floor?
Speaker 8 (16:54):
What's coming over on the ninth floor, her lipstick?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
If you buy Marry Jordan men success, ninth floor East.
Speaker 7 (17:01):
For every article you buy, gentlemen from mister Jordan, Miss
Severe here will give the buyer a kiss.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
From this store here. Well, let's get a bitter look
at you baby.
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Um.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Please don't handle the merchandise.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Oh wow, I'm sold. Yeah, me too, baby, ninth floor boy, dacha.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Take them away, merch Just show your sales receipts, gentlemen,
and collect your kiss here on the main floor.
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Yeah yeah, and remember, gentlemen, for five dollars worth of
merchandise bought from Eddie.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Jordan's, you kiss me for ten dollars worth of sales.
I sort of help little and for by twenty bucks. Mister.
All you do is whole us.
Speaker 9 (17:39):
Oh, here goes to savings of a lifetime.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
Okay, okay, here we go, gentlemen.
Speaker 8 (17:46):
Him from ezy flight now taking off over car let car.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I saw these sharks first, I saw him.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Let go, gentlemen, gentlemen, please you just turn those shorts in.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Half cook, wrap my half clerk. Here's your money. You
never mind wrapping my half clock. I'll take them like
they are.
Speaker 6 (18:13):
Click, I'll take these socks.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Okay, but first put my shoes back on. Those socks
were mine, Well they're mine. Now here's your money. Well,
aren't you gonna wait for your change? Mister? You've got
something coming to you.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
You ain't kidding, friend of my lips were all pucking.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Up for it.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Hey, I don't get this semester sold ten thousand dollars
worth of merchandiz mind a game like here's your though.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I'm taking these bedroom slippers, thirty pairs of bedroom slippers. Mister,
all right, saw, I'm a send a pete now out
of my way. I'm in a hurry. Everybody's in a hurry.
What's the rap this up for me? Will you click
wrap this? But it's just a sign that says mark
down to three ninety eight? Ok, use four bucks? Keep
the change coming on? Say somebody answer me? Please?
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Why am I the only salesman on this floor that's
doing a land office business?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
And it's final, but it's finanenal Oh hello.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Mister grin. I think you'd better get them to send
some more merchandise up here. The only thing that has
been brought is the counter that wouldn't be fish. No, mister,
the conter is not for sale, is it, mister hardly? Joe?
Speaker 9 (19:07):
But hardly? Oh my word, Jordan, and all my years
is flow walking here? As I've never seen merchandise move
so fast. Why it's fancy. Oh but it's keep this up, Jordan.
You will outsell Henry Carter.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Gee and win that five hundred bucks prize with one
day of sales.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Hey hey, oh pardon me, mister grun. What can I
sell you today? What have you got?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Now, there's a fellow with sales resistance, mister g Joe.
But it's how do you do it?
Speaker 6 (19:33):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Isn't hard mister grunt? You see, I learned the real
art of salesmanship with college. The salesman here at the
store just don't seem to have my flare for a merchandise.
I'm taking these, sock clerk, sure, just put the money
in my pocket.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I'm tired and not.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Too tired to see mister Bixel.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I hope Jordan's, the owner of the store, wants to
see me. Oh wait, boy, you bother me. Go on,
get away.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Well, I believe I can let mister Bixel have a
few minutes of my time, grun, my born.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
That's going to be mister Joe.
Speaker 9 (20:02):
Mister Bixel wants to see you down at.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
His office at once at once as I have, if
you can spare the time.
Speaker 9 (20:08):
I believe mister Bixle is so impressible your phenomenal sales
methods that he's considering promoting you to sales manager.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
A wise move on the old man's part.
Speaker 9 (20:18):
But I can make a feeble effort to hold down
the fort until you return from mister Well.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Well, not bad, mister Grunn, you learn real fast.
Speaker 10 (20:28):
Well, I'm off to see the old man.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
No pushing, gentleman, get in line, show your sales check. Gentlemen,
no checking, no kissing. He is mine, Thank you? Next, please,
thank you?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Next, Hey, that was only a kish on the forehead.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Well, after all, you only spend dollars. You come up
a little, mister, and I come down a little nexte here, missy,
but eighty dollars with Oh that's nice with grandpa. Hould
him up, mur Roger. Here goes my white whiskey friend.
Smile now, please so I can locate your lips.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Hey, what goes on here?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I'm sorry, mister, you gotta wait you.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Mister young man, I asked you a question. I'm sorry,
mister Mixel. I'm being buzzed. Passengers, you know I didn't
hear anyboddy.
Speaker 6 (21:36):
Well, I never wait till the last minute.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Well, yeah, grandpa, next thing you, miss, I'd like in line, mister.
They'd all like to Yeah, I'd like to know what
this is all about. But at your age, you should
already know what it's all about. Miss, Oh the impatient kind. Okay,
where's your sales check? Sales check, no sales tech, no kisses?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Next, miss you know who I am.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I don't care if your old chowderhead bixl himself. No slips,
no lips.
Speaker 6 (22:07):
Next, Rixel is a chowderhead.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
But he's gotta be not to recognize a great ability
like my boyfriend. Miss, do you know who I am?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I'm chowdhead Rixel.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I don't care if you're your childhead. Well you know
who my boyfriend is. No, Thank goodness, Come with.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Me, miss, I'd like to see.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
You in my office office.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Well it's a long fellow. You are kids, they're share.
Speaker 7 (22:52):
You.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Let me get this straight, Miss giving out kisses for sale.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's right, mister Bixel. Eddie needed to win that prior
to give him courage and self assurance. So while he
was carrying on for dear old bixels on the ninth floor, you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Were carrying on on the main floor.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well, you're not gonna keep Eddy from winning the countries,
are you? You're not gonna fire Maya?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Is this selling merchandise with kisses? Miss Reveral? Whose idea
was it?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well, mister Bigs, I kind of thought it was a
crazy idea.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think it's marvelous.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh so did Eddie. When that boy gets an idea,
he thinks it's great, he sticks to it.
Speaker 9 (23:32):
Jordan thought of this sensational merchandising stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Huh, that's rather difficult to believe.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, I mean you've underestimated Eddie. He's got brain.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Well I never noticed it.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Well that's because they're so hard to see. They're inside
his head.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, I couldn't think of a more convenient place for them.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Well, Eddie has lots more great ideas for selling stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mister Bixon, Miss Revere, I have practically decided to make
Jordan's our new sales.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh that's wonderful, mister Dix. I'm so happy I could
kiss you.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Why don't you, Jos Jordan hasn't sold out everything in
this town.
Speaker 7 (24:11):
I can still buy something from it if you'll accept
the sales tub later.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Oh you don't have to, mister, this is on the house.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I was told that you wanted to see me, mister
big Mazie Leddie.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You know you've got the lovely book.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh you're a rookie trip Jordan having a girl who
thinks so much of you, Macy, I never thought you
could do a thing like this.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That's done now, Eddie, and now you're the new salesman.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Oh no I'm not.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh yes you are.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Jordan.
Speaker 7 (24:44):
If I had any doubts before, this lovely girl is
convinced me obviously, you old.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Ruey what Eddie, you're making a big mistake.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
You're the one that's making the mistake. You you you
bam bam. If the only.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
Way I can get ahead is for my girl to
play after the bos in that disgusting manner.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Then I don't want to get a hat.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Jordan, Eddy, don't spoil everything. You've just gotten a big
executive job. You don't have to punch cocks anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
No, I've got something I'd enjoy punching very much, Jordren.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Stand back.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I'm warning you.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Oh, Eddie, well, just don't stand there. Maizie helped me
up and out.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
He's fired. Get your time and don't come back. I
don't want my money.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You better take it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Eddie.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You're gonna need beefsteaks for both those black guys when
we get home.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Both I only have one black.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Eye, I know, but we're not home yet.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Just the moment we shall return through the adventures of Maisie.
(26:30):
Now once again, here's Mazy.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, poor Eddie. He's still suffering from the foot mouth disease.
Every time he opens his mouth, he puts his foot
in it. Frankly, I couldn't blame Eddie for being amazed
at what he saw in mister Bixel's office. He had
a perfect right, too bad, mister Bixel had a perfect left.
But Eddie was unreasonable but not listening to my explanation.
(26:55):
I know if I called Eddie kissing a strange girl,
I'd listened to his reason first before I'd call him
a liar. I know I may sound cynical, but I've
been around a lot, and I can always tell when
a man is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying.
Funny thing though, I'm not really mad at Eddie's been
making that big gun. At least he showed that he
(27:17):
really loved me, and to a woman loves the most
valuable commodity turned out by a man. Well, I better
get down to the butchers and buy that beefsteak for Eddie.
I wonder if there's a special cut for black eyes.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
You've just heard. The Adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern Mazie,
was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was composed and
conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included b Benaderat, Frank Nelson,
Howard McNair, Pat McGee, and Peter Leeds and Sidney
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Miller, Jack McCoy speaking
I have baby, say, hop on out.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Does that answer your question? Buddy?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Adventures of Mazie starring and Southern. You all remember Metro
Golden Mayor's famous Mazie pictures. Justin moment you hear Mazie
in radio starring the same glamorous star you all went
(00:33):
to see and loved on the screen. And Southern, But
first you're all outcer Now our here's Anne Southern as mazy.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yep, I'm mazy, like man said Maize Revere. For a
while I thought maybe perhaps there was a chance would
be changed to Maizie Jordan. But my boyfriend Eddie, well,
ever since he's been old enough to hold a steady job,
he hasn't. It's not that Eddie's lazy, But you see,
he went to college and studied stuff like fourteenth century
(01:44):
Flemish poetry, the art of rug weaving, amongst the natives
of Abystinia and all that stuff. There ain't a buck
in Eddie barely makes enough money to pay his room rent,
so we stay home a lot. Also, we are both
room in the same boarding house. And oh gosh, it
must be awful late. I'd better run up to Eddie's
room and wake him up or he'll be late for work. Eddie, Eddie,
(02:13):
it's mazy, Eddie. He told me last night to make
sure to wake you up at six thirty. You remember.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
What time is it? Now?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I don't know. I don't have a watch.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What time you got?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Mazy? How can I sleep with all that noise?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's what I can never understand, that loud snoring would
wake anybody up?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Razy. Would you please go in and let me be?
I've got I got twenty eight minutes yet before I have.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
To give my all to Bixell's department store Men's accessories department.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I know, and I thought i'd give you a little
extra time to relax before work. If I've brought you
a little.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Coffee, okay, thanks, Uh just pour it under the door.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
But Eddie, oh well, I might as well get up now,
I can't sleep anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Good slip on something? Lem me in sure, sure, Eddie?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
What happened I slept on something? Okay? You can come
on and no.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Good morning, Eddie, Darling. Oh it's a beautiful mine. Look
the sun is shining, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's the moon.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Say what's that gray stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Your coffee?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh? You'd sure make a wonderful wife.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh Eddie, this is so sudden. Let's get married real soon?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh sure, sure?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
How soon?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
For instance?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, I hate to rush you, but would after lunch
be too soon?
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Mazie, you know we can't get married or what I
make at the store. As a matter of fact, I'm
not so sure Bixel's Department store fields that I'm exactly
indispensable to the merchandising world.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Eddie. They haven't said anything. You haven't been shooting spitballs
at the floor walker with brand new imported Frenchman's guardens again.
Have you promise me faithfully you'd be the perfect salesman.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
It's not that mazy, it's just those I'm not buying.
I'm just looking those kind of customers that I've been getting, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I just don't like morons.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Eddie Jordan. If you don't like morons, you don't like me. Uh,
I mean, if you can't try to make a living,
then I don't mean enough to you.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
But you do, Maisie. You're the most wonderful, marvelous, gorgeous,
most beautiful.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm not listening to a word you say, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Don't interrupt. Now, let's see where was I most beautiful? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yes, the most beautiful girl in the world. But you
deserve better than me. You deserve a real man.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I don't want a real man. I want you. You
could be a success to Eddie. You do only put
your shoulder to the wheel instead of your head.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Mazie. I want to talk to you. It's very important
for both of us. But first I have to get dressed.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Okay, good desk and I'll wait for you down.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
The podet good.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
And while you're down there, asked missus Kennedy to make
out my board bill for this week.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh paying your board build There must be something wrong, Eddie.
What's this all about?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Well, I'll be down in ten minutes and tell you. Mayzie. Meanwhile,
if you don't mind, I have to show shave and
polish my shoes.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Your shoes, Eddie Jordan, have you met a new girl?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So long, Mazie, I'll see you downstairs in ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, and that's what Eddie said. Missus Kennedy. What do
you think this mystery is all about? Well, that's hard
to say, Mazie, Honey, when any of my daughters want
to pay their bill. Before I threatened to turn off
(05:27):
the lights in their room a few times.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
There must be something wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh gosh, missus Kennedy, do you think maybe Eddie's lost
interest in me? Well, Mazie, it could be another girl.
After all, Eddie's a man. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
He's a man.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh, I know, missus Kennedy. But there are men, and
there are men. Eddie's different, Yeah, different, and you face
a snazzy figure means absolutely nothing to him.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Yeah, means absolutely nothing to him.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah. Yeah, well, honey, that's that. What game shall we
play now, missus Kennedy? I hap him to trust Eddie implicitly.
Nothing you could say would make me believe that he's
interested in another girl.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
No, any idea who she may be?
Speaker 6 (06:19):
Missus Kennedy, Oh, amaze, forget it.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
There's nobody else in Eddie's life. And if there were,
he told you about it. Yeah. Well that's that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Now.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
What other games shall we play?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Games? Who's playing games?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Oh, missus Kennedy and me, we were just playing canasta
without cards. Well, yes, you see, we're both just learning
it and we're not good enough at it to play
with cards.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Amazing, I'd like to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
No, Oh good, I've been just dying to find out
what this is all about.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Missus Kennedy. This is a sort of private Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Missus Kennedy, I think your copy is about to bubble
over in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh yes, don't you think you ought to watch it?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What for I've seen coffee bubbling over lots of times
it comes up in the Oh yes, yes, Well out,
I'll go into the kitchen, buy kitties. And if you
happen to talk real loud, I thank you well, Eddie.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh h you mean the talk?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, the talk. We're alone now nobody can hear it,
she said, nobody can hear you.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Oh thanks, you're welcome. You might as welcome back in
missus Kennedy. I don't like to strain my voice.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Oh well, if you insist.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Yeah, mazy, honey, I'm not fit for this store.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Salesman work it well.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
It doesn't do anything to me inside except feed it.
But this is a salesman's job. I just can't sell things.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Well, you sold me, honey, and I don't buy easily.
You got everything to make your success, Eddie. You're cultured
and you're cultured.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah what else?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Well, yeah, you're write beautiful love letty.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Yes, but it so happens. You can't make money writing
love letters.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I had a girlfriend who did. She sold them back
to the banker who wrote them.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Mazy, honey, I've made up my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
I finished work at the store tonight, and then this
little piggy is going far, far away to.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Seek his fortune.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Going away, Eddie, any place in particular, robboy? Or are
you just gonna add libbit? Well, g Eddy, I don't
want to hold you back from anything you really want
to do. But where do you plan to go?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Well, Horace Greeley said, go west, Eddie.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Jordan, have you been talking to strange men in bars again, Mazie.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Horace Greeley is an old newspaper man.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He died quite some time ago.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Probably from starvation. There's no money in old newspapers.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I wouldn't know. You know something. Maybe I'll get a
job in a ranch and be a cowboy.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Oh that's silly, Eddie. You can't be a cowboy. You
don't even play a guitar.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
I'll take lessons, yes, sir, I think I'll really enjoy
being a cowboy.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I can see myself now. I'm milking a cow and
a ten gallon hat.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You mean, instead of in a pail.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh, don't be so silly, missus.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Cake, And don't you be silly Eddie. You don't know
how to milk a cow. Well, you don't even know
where it keeps its crank cake.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Look, honey, I have to do something to make a living.
I have to eat, you.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Know, yep, And you might as well start with some breakfast.
Nobody can make a real good fool of himself on
an empty stomach. I'll fix you some grub takes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Gee.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
I'm sorry to be letting you down like this, Mazie,
but well, I gotta let you onto something with a future.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I'll never get rich selling men's socks, but.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Eddie had just gotta stick to something. You just can't
go roaming around the country kind to earn a buck.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Why not? You do it, don't you?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
But it's different in my case.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
I'm a woman, so wa there's no difference between men
and women.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
There must be, or they wouldn't have special nights for
each at Turkish baths.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oh, don't be corny, and don't you be so stubborn.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I'm giving you good advice. You don't want to spend
the rest of your life being a flop.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh so I'm a flop.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah, but in a nice way.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So long, Mazy Wire.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
You going Eddie work, but you haven't eaten your breakfast.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I might as well get used to going without breakfast.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh oh, here it is Eddie, a nice hot dish
of voat.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Where did Eddie go Maggie to work? He wasn't hungry.
Something was bothering him.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Watch, something was bothering him.
Speaker 7 (10:23):
Me. Good, good morning, Mazy good, good morning, Missus Kennedy
morning murten E.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Oh what's wrong, Maizie have a fight with Eddie?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
No thanks, I just had one eat your breakfast. Mister
Sunshine got a special today. You got your choice to
vote me.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
What's the choice? Take it or leave it? Maisie, honey,
aren't eating?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Well? I'm sorry, missus ca, I'm not hungry. Every time
I think of poor Eddie. I get a lump in
my throat every.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Time I eat missus Kennedy's ope, me, I get a
lump in mine.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
Yeah, well I just cracked that joke, you folks.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Up. Folks, save your comedy for mister Jordan murt He's
the one that needs cheering up.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Girl.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Thing came from breaking good Fred, how's about a slice
of toast, missus cake?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Sure, Murg what times white a whole week?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
It makes no difference. I want to put it under
the leg of the chair. I got the wobbly one
again this morning.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Here, murt you can have my chair. I'm finished. Oh
but Maizie, honey, you got to eat something. I'm not
hungry anymore. Ever since Eddie said he's gonna quit.
Speaker 7 (11:27):
His job, we're gonna quote right in the middle of
the contest.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Context what context?
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Oh haven't you heard? Heard what? And he didn't tell you?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Who didn't tell me? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:44):
Paddy Jamas Kelly, Hey, this jam is good?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Oh, for goodness, take murden. What is it, strawberry?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I think I mean the contest? Yeah, what's it about?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What happens take the spoon out of your cup while
you're drinking your coffee?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And what has it to do with Eddie? Huh? Oh?
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Oh, well, you see, the store is having a contest
and giving prizes for the one who wins.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Wins?
Speaker 6 (12:07):
What the contest?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Merton stopped talking so much and saying so little. Yeah,
you're an elevator operator, not a politician.
Speaker 7 (12:15):
The salesman and the sales lady who sell the most
stuff by closing time tonight wins a five hundred dollars prize.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Hey, they've got about two hundred salespeople.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Oh yeah, I guess that's why Eddie's so discouraged. He's
probably close to the bottom and the amount of sales
made so far.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Uh uh huh. He ain't close to the bottom here, isn't. No,
he's at the bottom.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Well, there's one good thing about it. He can't go
any lower.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Well, Mazie, honey, I can't very well blame Meddie for
not telling you the contest is the final store.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
They decided him on quitting the store. The poor boy
was ashamed to be in such an awful flop with
his order book.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, poor Eddie, he's such a helpless little schnuff. I
guess the only person he's ever been able to sell
with me. You know what that boy really needs is
for something to happen to give him faith in himself. Yeah,
like maybe by some miracle winning that prize at the store.
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Yeah, if he only had imagination like Henry Carter, he'd
stand a chance.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Who's Henry Carter.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
He's in Ladies girdles.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I hope the dear boy finds them comfortable.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
I don't, don't you.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
I mean he sells them. Henry's lead man in the
contest so far. And you know the funny thing about
it is that most of his.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
Customers are men.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That is funny. Yeah, most men are just interested in
what goes into the girdles.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
That's how Henry sells them with women already in them.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Say that store carries everything, doesn't it.
Speaker 7 (13:46):
Let me finish, is he Henry sells all those girdles
to men like demonstrating how funny their wives look when
they're struggling in the work.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh say, that's showmanship.
Speaker 7 (13:57):
Imagine Henry winning that contest because of us simple idea
like that. Yeah, he's gonna win five hundred bucks just
because he found something new that appealed to men.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I've got it. Got why, Well, well, it ain't new,
but it's appealed to men before laughs women women. Yeah,
missus Kennedy, you've heard of bazaars where men kiss women
for charity. Here, Well, what I mean is that Eddie
could maybe win that selling contest if he had an
idea behind it. Well, I'm that idea. I'm giving our
(14:28):
kisses today at Vixel's department store.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
You will if you buy a pair of socks.
Speaker 6 (14:34):
Pair of socks.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, that's it. And I've got a slogan, buy a
sock from Eddie and get a snack from Mazie. What
do you think?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I think it's worth a try, Mazie.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Gosh, imagine kissing all those men.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
How do you know? Have you ever kissed any man?
Speaker 7 (14:51):
I mean, well, Eddie wouldn't like his girlfriend kissing strange men,
so's he could be a success.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh that's silly. Look in the movies, eyes with husbands
and families kiss Jimmy Steward and Van Johnson, don't they
doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
It's a living yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
And if that ain't living, I don't know what is.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
I guess maybe you're right, amazing?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Good?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Then you then you'll help me, help you?
Speaker 7 (15:16):
Oh god, gosh, I don't think a man had want
to kiss me, especially when I need a shame.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
No, no, I mean, let me use your elevators as
sort of a display case.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
My elevator.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You mean you'll, yeah, and if you do, I won't forget.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Don't say no, Merton, say you'll do it.
Speaker 7 (15:31):
Oh oh, okay, Kenny, Okay, I'll do it, my jam Please.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
No, no, no, not like that, Merton.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Look me in the face and say you'll do it.
Come on now, look me in the.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Face, please, missus Kennedy, not while I'm eating.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
The Adventures of Mazing Starring and Southern will continue in
just a moment.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
An hour. Back to.
Speaker 7 (16:44):
Elevator, going up, stepping please floors.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Please, third floor, second floor, Please, wouldn't you, gentleman, rather
bunch them together and go to the ninth floor or
ninth floor?
Speaker 8 (16:54):
What's coming over on the ninth floor, her lipstick?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
If you buy Marry Jordan men success, ninth floor East.
Speaker 7 (17:01):
For every article you buy, gentlemen from mister Jordan, Miss
Severe here will give the buyer a kiss.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
From this store here. Well, let's get a bitter look
at you baby.
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Um.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Please don't handle the merchandise.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Oh wow, I'm sold. Yeah, me too, baby, ninth floor boy, dacha.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Take them away, merch Just show your sales receipts, gentlemen,
and collect your kiss here on the main floor.
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Yeah yeah, and remember, gentlemen, for five dollars worth of
merchandise bought from Eddie.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Jordan's, you kiss me for ten dollars worth of sales.
I sort of help little and for by twenty bucks. Mister.
All you do is whole us.
Speaker 9 (17:39):
Oh, here goes to savings of a lifetime.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
Okay, okay, here we go, gentlemen.
Speaker 8 (17:46):
Him from ezy flight now taking off over car let car.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I saw these sharks first, I saw him.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Let go, gentlemen, gentlemen, please you just turn those shorts in.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Half cook, wrap my half clerk. Here's your money. You
never mind wrapping my half clock. I'll take them like
they are.
Speaker 6 (18:13):
Click, I'll take these socks.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Okay, but first put my shoes back on. Those socks
were mine, Well they're mine. Now here's your money. Well,
aren't you gonna wait for your change? Mister? You've got
something coming to you.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
You ain't kidding, friend of my lips were all pucking.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Up for it.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Hey, I don't get this semester sold ten thousand dollars
worth of merchandiz mind a game like here's your though.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I'm taking these bedroom slippers, thirty pairs of bedroom slippers. Mister,
all right, saw, I'm a send a pete now out
of my way. I'm in a hurry. Everybody's in a hurry.
What's the rap this up for me? Will you click
wrap this? But it's just a sign that says mark
down to three ninety eight? Ok, use four bucks? Keep
the change coming on? Say somebody answer me? Please?
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Why am I the only salesman on this floor that's
doing a land office business?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
And it's final, but it's finanenal Oh hello.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Mister grin. I think you'd better get them to send
some more merchandise up here. The only thing that has
been brought is the counter that wouldn't be fish. No, mister,
the conter is not for sale, is it, mister hardly? Joe?
Speaker 9 (19:07):
But hardly? Oh my word, Jordan, and all my years
is flow walking here? As I've never seen merchandise move
so fast. Why it's fancy. Oh but it's keep this up, Jordan.
You will outsell Henry Carter.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Gee and win that five hundred bucks prize with one
day of sales.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Hey hey, oh pardon me, mister grun. What can I
sell you today? What have you got?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Now, there's a fellow with sales resistance, mister g Joe.
But it's how do you do it?
Speaker 6 (19:33):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Isn't hard mister grunt? You see, I learned the real
art of salesmanship with college. The salesman here at the
store just don't seem to have my flare for a merchandise.
I'm taking these, sock clerk, sure, just put the money
in my pocket.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I'm tired and not.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Too tired to see mister Bixel.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I hope Jordan's, the owner of the store, wants to
see me. Oh wait, boy, you bother me. Go on,
get away.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Well, I believe I can let mister Bixel have a
few minutes of my time, grun, my born.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
That's going to be mister Joe.
Speaker 9 (20:02):
Mister Bixel wants to see you down at.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
His office at once at once as I have, if
you can spare the time.
Speaker 9 (20:08):
I believe mister Bixle is so impressible your phenomenal sales
methods that he's considering promoting you to sales manager.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
A wise move on the old man's part.
Speaker 9 (20:18):
But I can make a feeble effort to hold down
the fort until you return from mister Well.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Well, not bad, mister Grunn, you learn real fast.
Speaker 10 (20:28):
Well, I'm off to see the old man.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
No pushing, gentleman, get in line, show your sales check. Gentlemen,
no checking, no kissing. He is mine, Thank you? Next, please,
thank you?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Next, Hey, that was only a kish on the forehead.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Well, after all, you only spend dollars. You come up
a little, mister, and I come down a little nexte here, missy,
but eighty dollars with Oh that's nice with grandpa. Hould
him up, mur Roger. Here goes my white whiskey friend.
Smile now, please so I can locate your lips.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Hey, what goes on here?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I'm sorry, mister, you gotta wait you.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Mister young man, I asked you a question. I'm sorry,
mister Mixel. I'm being buzzed. Passengers, you know I didn't
hear anyboddy.
Speaker 6 (21:36):
Well, I never wait till the last minute.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Well, yeah, grandpa, next thing you, miss, I'd like in line, mister.
They'd all like to Yeah, I'd like to know what
this is all about. But at your age, you should
already know what it's all about. Miss, Oh the impatient kind. Okay,
where's your sales check? Sales check, no sales tech, no kisses?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Next, miss you know who I am.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I don't care if your old chowderhead bixl himself. No slips,
no lips.
Speaker 6 (22:07):
Next, Rixel is a chowderhead.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
But he's gotta be not to recognize a great ability
like my boyfriend. Miss, do you know who I am?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I'm chowdhead Rixel.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I don't care if you're your childhead. Well you know
who my boyfriend is. No, Thank goodness, Come with.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Me, miss, I'd like to see.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
You in my office office.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Well it's a long fellow. You are kids, they're share.
Speaker 7 (22:52):
You.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Let me get this straight, Miss giving out kisses for sale.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's right, mister Bixel. Eddie needed to win that prior
to give him courage and self assurance. So while he
was carrying on for dear old bixels on the ninth floor, you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Were carrying on on the main floor.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well, you're not gonna keep Eddy from winning the countries,
are you? You're not gonna fire Maya?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Is this selling merchandise with kisses? Miss Reveral? Whose idea
was it?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well, mister Bigs, I kind of thought it was a
crazy idea.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think it's marvelous.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh so did Eddie. When that boy gets an idea,
he thinks it's great, he sticks to it.
Speaker 9 (23:32):
Jordan thought of this sensational merchandising stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Huh, that's rather difficult to believe.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, I mean you've underestimated Eddie. He's got brain.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Well I never noticed it.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Well that's because they're so hard to see. They're inside
his head.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, I couldn't think of a more convenient place for them.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Well, Eddie has lots more great ideas for selling stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mister Bixon, Miss Revere, I have practically decided to make
Jordan's our new sales.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh that's wonderful, mister Dix. I'm so happy I could
kiss you.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Why don't you, Jos Jordan hasn't sold out everything in
this town.
Speaker 7 (24:11):
I can still buy something from it if you'll accept
the sales tub later.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Oh you don't have to, mister, this is on the house.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I was told that you wanted to see me, mister
big Mazie Leddie.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You know you've got the lovely book.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh you're a rookie trip Jordan having a girl who
thinks so much of you, Macy, I never thought you
could do a thing like this.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That's done now, Eddie, and now you're the new salesman.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Oh no I'm not.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh yes you are.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Jordan.
Speaker 7 (24:44):
If I had any doubts before, this lovely girl is
convinced me obviously, you old.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Ruey what Eddie, you're making a big mistake.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
You're the one that's making the mistake. You you you
bam bam. If the only.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
Way I can get ahead is for my girl to
play after the bos in that disgusting manner.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Then I don't want to get a hat.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Jordan, Eddy, don't spoil everything. You've just gotten a big
executive job. You don't have to punch cocks anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
No, I've got something I'd enjoy punching very much, Jordren.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Stand back.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I'm warning you.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Oh, Eddie, well, just don't stand there. Maizie helped me
up and out.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
He's fired. Get your time and don't come back. I
don't want my money.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You better take it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Eddie.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You're gonna need beefsteaks for both those black guys when
we get home.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Both I only have one black.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Eye, I know, but we're not home yet.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Just the moment we shall return through the adventures of Maisie.
(26:30):
Now once again, here's Mazy.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, poor Eddie. He's still suffering from the foot mouth disease.
Every time he opens his mouth, he puts his foot
in it. Frankly, I couldn't blame Eddie for being amazed
at what he saw in mister Bixel's office. He had
a perfect right, too bad, mister Bixel had a perfect left.
But Eddie was unreasonable but not listening to my explanation.
(26:55):
I know if I called Eddie kissing a strange girl,
I'd listened to his reason first before I'd call him
a liar. I know I may sound cynical, but I've
been around a lot, and I can always tell when
a man is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying.
Funny thing though, I'm not really mad at Eddie's been
making that big gun. At least he showed that he
(27:17):
really loved me, and to a woman loves the most
valuable commodity turned out by a man. Well, I better
get down to the butchers and buy that beefsteak for Eddie.
I wonder if there's a special cut for black eyes.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
You've just heard. The Adventures of Mazie, starring and Southern Mazie,
was written by Arthur Phillips. Original music was composed and
conducted by Harry Zimmerman. Supporting cast included b Benaderat, Frank Nelson,
Howard McNair, Pat McGee, and Peter Leeds and Sidney
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Miller, Jack McCoy speaking
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