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October 6, 2025 16 mins
09 - Ginger Becomes a Right-Hand Man. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Wodehouse.  
This romantic comedy stars a young American girl named Sally, who inherits a considerable fortune and finds her life turned upside down. The typically Wodehouseian cast includes Sally's ambitious brother, an assortment of theater people, a pair of English cousins, and, of course, an Uncle. It's jolly good fun! 
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter nine of the Adventures of Sallie. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
The Adventures of Sallie by P. G. Woodhouse. Chapter nine,
Ginger becomes a right hand man. It was not till

(00:25):
she saw him actually standing there before her, with his
hair rumpled and a large smot on the tip of
his nose, that Sally really understood how profoundly troubled she
had been about this young man, and how vivid had
been that vision of him bobbing about on the waters
of the Thames, a cold and unappreciated corpse. She was

(00:46):
a girl of keen imagination, and she had allowed her
imagination to riot unchecked astonishment. Therefore, at the extraordinary fact
of his being there was, for the moment thrust aside
by relief. Never before in her life had she experienced
such an overwhelming rush of exhilaration. She flung herself into

(01:07):
a chair and burst into a screech of laughter, which,
even to her own ears, sounded strange. It struck Ginger
as hysterical. I say, you know, said Ginger, As the
merriment showed no signs of abating, Ginger was concerned. Nasty
shock for a girl finding blighters under her bed Sallie

(01:30):
sat up, gurgling and wiped her eyes. Oh I am
glad to see you, she gasped. No, really, said Ginger, gratified.
That's fine. It occurred to him that some sort of
apology would be a graceful act. I say, you know,
awfully sorry about barging in here. I mean, never dreamed

(01:52):
it was your room unoccupied, I thought, don't mention it.
I ought not to have disturbed you. You were having
a knight sleep. Of course, do you always sleep on
the floor? It was like this, of course, if you're
wearing it for ornament, as a sort of beauty spot,
said Sallly. All right, but in case you don't know,

(02:14):
you've a smut on your nose. Oh, my aunt, not really,
now would I deceive you on an important point like that?
Do you mind if I have a look in the glass. Certainly,
if you can stand it. Ginger moved hurriedly to the
dressing table. You're perfectly right, he announced, applying his handkerchief.

(02:38):
I thought I was I'm very quick at noticing things.
My hair's a bit rumpled too very much, So you'd
take my advice, said Ginger earnestly, and never lie about
under beds. There's nothing in it that reminds me. You
won't be offended if I ask you something. No, no,

(02:59):
go ahead, it's rather an impertinent question. You may resent it. No, No,
well then what were you doing under my bed? Oh?
Under your bed? Yes? Under my bed? This it's a bed,
you know, mine, my bed? You were under it? Why?

(03:21):
Or putting it another way, why were you under my bed?
I was hiding, playing hide and seek? That explains it.
Missus what's her name, Beecher? Meecher was after me. Sallie
shook her head disapprovingly. We mustn't encourage missus Meacher in

(03:42):
these childish pastimes. It unsettles her. Ginger passed an agitated
hand over his forehead. It's like this. I hate to
keep criticizing your appearance, said Sallie. And personally I like it.
But when you clutched your brow just then you put

(04:02):
about a pound of dust on it. Your hands are
probably grubby. Ginger inspected them. They are. Why not make
a really good job of it and have a wash
do you mind, I'd prefer it, thanks awfully. I mean
to say, it's your basin, you know, and all that.

(04:23):
What I mean is seem to be making myself pretty
well at home. Oh, no touching the matter of soap,
use mine. We Americans are famous for our hospitality. Thanks awfully.
The towel is on your right, thanks awfully, And I've

(04:44):
a clothes brush in my bag, thanks awfully. Splashing followed
like a sea lion taking a dip. Now, then said Sallie,
why were you hiding from missus meecher? A careworn, almost
hunted look came into Ginger's face. I say, you know

(05:05):
that woman is rather by way of being one of
the lads what scares me. Word was brought that she
was on the prowl, So it seemed to me a
judicious move to take cover till she sort of blew over.
If she'd found me, she'd have made me take that
dog of hers for a walk. Toto toto, you know,
said Ginger, with a strong sense of injury. No dog's

(05:29):
got a right to be a dog like that. I
don't suppose there's any one keener on dogs than I am.
But a thing like a wooly rat, he shuddered slightly. Well,
one hates to be seen about with it in the
public streets. Why couldn't you have refused in a firm
but gentlemanly manner to take Toto out? Ah, there, you

(05:52):
rather touch the spot, you see. The matter of fact
is I'm a bit behind with the rent, and that
makes it rather hard to take what you might call
a firm stand. But how can you be behind with
the rent? I only left here the Saturday before last,
and you weren't in the place. Then you can't have
been here more than a week. I've been here just

(06:14):
a week. That's the week i'm behind with. But why
you were a millionaire when I left you at Reevie. Well,
the fact of the matter is I went back to
the tables that night and lost a goodish bit of
what i'd won, and somehow or other, when I got
to America, the stuff seemed to slip away. What made

(06:35):
you come to America at all? Said Sally, asking the
question which she felt any sensible person would have asked.
At the opening of the conversation. One of his familiar
blushes raced over Ginger's face. Oh, I thought I would
land of opportunity. You know, have you managed to find

(06:56):
any of the opportunities yet? Well, I I've got a
job of sorts. I'm a waiter at her rummy little
place on Second Avenue. The salary isn't big, but i'd
have wangled enough out of it to pay last week's rent.
Only they docked me a goodish bit for breaking plates
and what not. The fact is I'm making rather a
hash of it. Oh, Ginger, you oughtn't to be a waiter,

(07:21):
and that's what the boss seems to think. I mean,
you ought to be doing something ever so much better.
But what you've no notion? How well all these blighters
here seemed to be able to get along without my help.
I've tramped all over the place offering my services, but
they all say they'll try to carry on as they are.

(07:41):
Sallie reflected, I know what I'll make, Fillmore, give you
a job. I wonder I didn't think of it before. Fillmore,
my brother, Yes, he'll be able to use you. What
as Sally considered as a as a oh as his

(08:05):
right hand man. Does he want a right hand man?
Sure to. He's a young fellow trying to get along,
Sure to want a right hand man. Mum, yes, said
Ginger reflectively. Of course I've never been a right hand man,
you know. Oh, you'd pick it up. I'll take you

(08:26):
round to him now he's staying at the astor There's
just one thing, said Ginger. What's that? I might make
a hash of it. Heaven's Ginger, there must be something
in this world that you wouldn't make a hash of.
Don't stand arguing any longer. Are you dry and clean?

(08:46):
Very well? Then let's be off right ho Ginger took
a step towards the door, then paused, rigid with one
leg in the air, as though some spell had been
cast upon him. From the passage outside, there had sounded
a shrill yapping. Ginger looked at Sallie. Then he looked
longingly at the bed. Don't be such a coward, said

(09:11):
Sallie severely. Yes, but how much do you owe? Missus meetscher?
Round about twelve dollars? I think it is I'll pay her.
Ginger flushed awkwardly. No, I'm hanged if you will, I mean,
he stammered, it's frightfully good of you and all that,

(09:32):
and I can't tell you how grateful I am. But honestly,
I couldn't. Sallie did not press the point. She liked
him the better for a rugged independence, which, in the
days of his impecuniousness her brother Fillmore had never dreamed
of exhibiting. Very well, she said, have it your own way, proud,

(09:52):
that's me all over, Mabel Ginger, she broke off, sharply,
pull yourself together. Where is your manly space? Hear it?
I'd be ashamed to be such a coward. Awfully sorry,
but honestly, that wooly dog. Never mind the dog, I'll
see you through. They came out into the passage, almost

(10:14):
on top of Toto, who was stalking Phantom rats. Missus
Meecher was maneuvering in the background. Her face lit up
grimly at the sight of Ginger. Mister kemp I've been
looking for you, Sallie intervened brightly. Oh, missus Meecher, she said,
shepherding her young charge through the danger zone. I was

(10:36):
so surprised to meet mister Kemp here. He is a
great friend of mine. We met in France. We're going
off now to have a long talk about old times,
and then I'm taking him to see my brother Toto.
Dear little thing. You ought to take him for a walk,
said Sallie. It's a lovely day. Mister Kemp was saying
just now that he would have liked to take him,

(10:56):
but we're rather in a hurry and shall probably have
to get into a te You've no idea how busy
my brother is just now. If we're late, he'll never
forgive us. She passed on down the stairs, leaving missus
Meecher dissatisfied but irresolute. There was something about Sallie which,
even in her pretty wealthy days, had always baffled missus

(11:18):
Meecher and cramped her style. And now that she was
rich and independent, she inspired in the chatelaine of the
boarding house an emotion which was almost awe The front
door had closed before Missus Meecher had collected her faculties,
and Ginger, pausing on the sidewalk, drew a long breath.
You know you're wonderful, he said, regarding Sallie with unconcealed admiration.

(11:43):
She accepted the compliment composedly. Now we'll go and hunt
up fillmore, she said, But there's no need to hurry,
of course. Really, we'll go for a walk first and
then call at the astor and make him give us lunch.
I want to hear all about you. I've heard something already.
I may your cousin, mister Carmle, he was on the
train coming from Detroit. Did you know that he was

(12:04):
in America? No, I've er rather lost touch with the family,
so I gathered from mister Carlyle, and I feel hideously responsible.
It was all through me that all this happened. Oh, no,
of course it was. I made you what you are
to day. I hope I'm satisfied. I dragged and dragged

(12:28):
you down until the soul within you died, so to speak.
I know perfectly well that you wouldn't have dreamed of
savaging the family as you seem to have done if
it hadn't been for what I said to you at
Roville Ginger. Tell me what did happen. I'm dying to know.
Mister Carlyle said you insulted your uncle Donald. Yes, we
did have a bit of a scrap. As a matter

(12:49):
of fact, he made me go out to dinner with him,
and we are sort of disagreed to start with. He
wanted me to apologize to old Scrimger, and I rather
gave it a miss noble fellow, Scrimger, No, silly you,
oh ah, Ginger blushed. And then there was all that

(13:11):
about the soup. You know, how do you mean all
that about the soup? What about the soup? What soup? Well,
things sort of hotted up a bit when the soup arrived.
I don't understand. I mean, the trouble seemed to start,
as it were, when the waiter had finished ladling out
the Mullagatawni thick soup. You know, I know mullagatani is

(13:34):
a thick soup. Yes, well, my old uncle, I'm not
blaming him, don't you know. More his misfortune than his fault.
I can see that now. But he's got a heavy mustache,
like a walrus rather, and he's a bit apt to
inhale the stuff through it, and I well, I asked
him not to. It was just a suggestion, you know.

(13:56):
He caught up fairly rough, and by the time the
fish came round, we were more al us down on
the mat, chewing the holes in one another. My fault probably.
I wasn't feeling particularly well disposed towards the family that night.
I just had a talk with Bruce, my cousin you know,
in Piccadilly, and that had rather got the wind up me.
Bruce always seems to get on my nerves a bit somehow,

(14:18):
and Uncle Donald asking me to dinner and all that.
By the way, did you get the books? What books?
Bruce said, he wanted to lend you some books. That's
why I gave him your address. Sallie stared, he never
sent me any books. Well, he said he was going to,
and I had to tell him where to send them.

(14:41):
Sallie walked on a little thoughtfully. She was not a
vain girl, but it was impossible not to perceive, in
the light of this fresh evidence that mister Carlyle had
made a journey of three thousand miles with the sole
object of renewing his acquaintance with her. It did not matter,
of course, but it was vaguely disturbing. No girl cares
to be dogged by a man she rather dislikes. Go

(15:05):
on telling me about your uncle, she said, Well, there's
not much more to tell. I had happened to get
that wireless of yours just before I started out to
dinner with him, and I was more or less feeling
that I wasn't going to stand any rot from the family.
I'd got to the fish course, hadn't I. Well, we
managed to get through that somehow, but we didn't survive

(15:25):
the filet stake. One thing seemed to lead to another,
and the show sort of bust up. He called me
a good many things, and I got a bit fed up,
and finally I told him I hadn't any more use
for the family and was going to start out on
my own. And well I did, don't you know? And
here I am. Sally listened to this saga breathlessly. More

(15:48):
than ever did she feel responsible for her young protegee,
and any faint qualms which she had entertained as to
the wisdom of transferring practically the whole of her patrimony
to the care of so erratic a financier. As her
brother vanished, it was her plain duty to see that
Ginger was started well in the race of life, and
Fillmore was going to come in uncommonly handy. We'll go

(16:12):
to the astor now, she said, and I'll introduce you
to Fillmore. He's a theatrical manager and he's sure to
have something for you. It's awfully good of you to
bother about me, Ginger said, Sallie, I regard you as
a grandson. Hail that cab, will you? End of Chapter nine,

(16:34):
Recorded on September first, two thousand eight, in San Diego, California,
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