October 6, 2025 • 45 mins
14 - Mr. Abrahams Re-Engages an Old Employee. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Wodehouse.
This romantic comedy stars a young American girl named Sally, who inherits a considerable fortune and finds her life turned upside down. The typically Wodehouseian cast includes Sally's ambitious brother, an assortment of theater people, a pair of English cousins, and, of course, an Uncle. It's jolly good fun!
This romantic comedy stars a young American girl named Sally, who inherits a considerable fortune and finds her life turned upside down. The typically Wodehouseian cast includes Sally's ambitious brother, an assortment of theater people, a pair of English cousins, and, of course, an Uncle. It's jolly good fun!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter fourteen of the Adventures of Sallie. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse, Chapter fourteen,
Mister Abraham's re engages an old employee one The only
(00:27):
real happiness, we are told is to be obtained by
bringing happiness to others. Bugs Butler's mood, accordingly, when some
thirty hours after the painful episode recorded in the last chapter,
he awoke from a state of coma in the ring
at Jersey City to discover that mister Leu Lucas had
knocked him out in the middle of the third round,
(00:47):
should have been one of quiet contentment. His inability to
block a short left hook followed by a right to
the point of the jaw had ameliorated quite a number
of existences. Mister Lew Lucas, for one, was noticeably pleased.
So were mister Lucas's seconds, one of whom went so
far as to kiss him, and most of the crowd,
(01:10):
who had betted heavily on the champion were delighted. Yet
Bugs Butler did not rejoice. It is not too much
to say that his peevish bearing struck a jarring note
in the general gaiety. A heavy frown disfigured his face
as he slouched from the ring. But the happiness which
he had spread went on spreading. The two wise guys,
(01:32):
who had been unable to attend the fight in person,
received the result on the ticker, and exuberantly proclaimed themselves
the richer by five hundred dollars. The pimpled office boy
at the Fillmore Nicholas Theatrical Enterprises Limited, caused remark in
the subway by whooping gleefully when he read the news
in his morning paper, for he too had been rendered
(01:53):
wealthier by the brittleness of mister Butler's chin. And it
was with fierce satisfaction that Sally breakfasting in her little
apartment informed herself through the sporting page of the details
of the contender's downfall. She was not a girl who
disliked many people, but she had acquired a lively distaste
for bugs. Butler lou Lucas seemed a man after her
(02:17):
own heart. If he had been a personal friend of Ginger's,
he could not, considering the brief time at his disposal
have avenged him with more thoroughness. In round one he
had done all sorts of diverting things to mister Butler's
left eye. In round two he had continued the good
work on that gentleman's body, and in round three he
(02:37):
had knocked him out. Could any one have done more?
Sallie thought not, and she drank lou Lucas's health in
a cup of coffee and hoped his old mother was
proud of him. The telephone bell rang at her elbow.
She unhooked the receiver. Hullo, oh, hullo, said a voice.
(02:59):
Ginger cried, Sallie delightedly. I say, I'm awfully glad you're back.
I only got your letter this morning, founded at the
boarding house. I happened to look in there, and Ginger interrupted, Sallie,
your voice is music. But I want to see you.
Where are you? I'm at a chemist's shop across the street.
(03:20):
I was wondering if come here at once, I say,
may I. I was just going to ask you, miserable creature,
why haven't you been round to see me before? Well?
As a matter of fact, I haven't been going about
much for the last day. You see I know. Of course,
(03:41):
quick sympathy came into Sallie's voice. She gave a sidelong
glance of approval and gratitude at the large picture of
Leu Lucas, which beamed up at her from the morning paper.
You poor thing, how are you? Oh all right? Thanks? Well,
hurry There was a slight pause at the other end
(04:01):
of the wire. I say, well, I'm not much to
look at, you know, you never were. Stop talking and
hurry over, I mean to say. Sallie hung up the
receiver firmly. She waited eagerly for some minutes, and then
footsteps came along the passage. They stopped at her door,
(04:24):
and the bell rang. Sallie ran to the door, flung
it open, and recoiled in consternation. Oh, Ginger, he had
stated the facts accurately when he had said that he
was not much to look at. He gazed at her
devotedly out of an unblemished right eye, but the other
was hidden altogether by a puffy swelling of dull purple.
(04:47):
A great bruise marred his left cheekbone, and he spoke
with some difficulty through swollen lips. It's all right, you know,
he assured her. It isn't. It's awful. Oh, you poor darling.
She clenched her teeth viciously. I wish he had killed him, Eh,
(05:08):
I wish lu Lucas or whatever his name is had
murdered him. Brute. Oh I don't know. You know, Ginger's
sense of fairness compelled him to defend his late employer
against these harsh sentiments. He isn't a bad sort of chap, really,
bugs Butler. I mean, do you seriously mean to stand
(05:29):
there and tell me you don't loathe the creature? Oh,
he's all right, see his point of view and all that.
Can't blame him if you come to think of it,
for getting the wind up a bit in the circus
bit thick. I mean to say, a sparring partner going
at him like that. Naturally, he didn't think it much
of a wheeze. It was my fault right along. Oughtn't
(05:49):
to have done it, of course, But somehow, when he
started making an ass of me, and I knew you
were looking on, well, it seemed a good idea to
have a dash at doing something on my own. No
to of course, a sparring partner isn't supposed sit down,
said Sallie. Ginger sat down. Ginger said, Sallie, you're too
(06:11):
good to live. Oh, I say, I believe if someone
sand bagged you and stole your watch and chain, you'd
say there were faults on both sides or something. I'm
just a cat, and I say, I wish you're beast
of a bug's butler had perished miserably, I'd have gone
and danced on his grave. But whatever made you go
in for that sort of thing, well, it seemed the
(06:34):
only job that was going at the moment. I've always
done a goodish bit of boxing, and I was very
fit and so on, and it looked to me rather
an opening. Gave me something to get along with. You
get paid quite fairly decently, you know, and it's rather
a jolly life, jolly being hammered about like that. Oh
you don't notice it much. I've always enjoyed scrapping rather.
(06:58):
And you see, when your brother gave me the push,
Sally uttered an exclamation, What an extraordinary thing it is.
I went all the way out to White Plains that
afternoon to find Fillmore and tackle him about that. And
I didn't say a word about it. And I haven't
seen or been able to get a hold of him.
Since no busy sort of cove your brother? Why did fillmore?
(07:21):
Let you go? Let me go? Oh you mean, well,
there was a sort of mix up, a kind of misunderstanding.
What happened? Oh it was nothing, just a what happened?
Ginger's disfigured countenance betrayed embarrassment. He looked awkwardly about the room.
(07:44):
It's not worth talking about. It is worth talking about.
I've a right to know. It was I who sent
you to fillmore. Now, that, said Ginger, was jolly decent
of you. Don't interrupt. I sent you to fillmore, and
he had no business to let you go without saying
a word to me. What happened? Ginger twiddled his fingers unhappily. Well,
(08:09):
it was rather unfortunate. You see his wife, I don't
know if you know her. Of course I know her. Why, yes,
you would, wouldn't you your brother's wife, I mean, said
Ginger acutely. Though as a matter of fact, you often
find sisters in law who won't have anything to do
with one another. I know a fellow. Ginger said, sallly,
(08:31):
it's no good your thinking. You can get out of
telling me by rambling off on other subjects. I'm grim
and resolute and relentless, and I mean to get this
story out of you if I have to use a corkscrew.
Fillmore's wife. You were saying, Ginger came back reluctantly to
the main theme. Well, she came into the office one
(08:52):
morning and we started fooling about, fooling about, well, kind
of chivvying each other. Chivvying at least I was, you were,
what sort of chasing her a bit? You know. Sally
regarded this apostle of frivolity with amazement. What do you
(09:16):
mean Ginger's embarrassment increased? The thing was? You see, she
happened to trickle in rather quietly when I happened to
be looking at something, and I didn't know she was
there till she suddenly grabbed it, grabbed what the thing?
The thing I happened to be looking at. She bagged it,
(09:37):
collared it, took it away from me, you know, and
wouldn't give it back, and generally started to rot about
a bit. So I rather began to chivvy her to
some extent, and I just caught her. When your brother
happened to roll in, I suppose, said Ginger, putting two
and two together. He had really come with her to
the office and had happened to hang back for a
minute or two to talk to somebody or something. Well,
(09:59):
of course, he was considerably fed to see me, apparently
doing jiu jitsu with his wife. Enough to rattle any man,
if you come to think of it, said Ginger, ever
fair minded. Well, he didn't say anything at the time,
but a bit later in the day he called me
in and administered the push. Sallie shook her head. It
(10:20):
sounds the craziest story to me. What was it that
missus Fillmore took from you? Oh, just something, Sallie rapped
the table imperiously. Ginger. Well, as a matter of fact,
said her goaded visitor, It was a photograph who of
(10:43):
or if you are particular of whom, Well, you to
be absolutely accurate me, Sallie stared, But I've never given
you a photograph of myself. Ginger's face was a study
in scarlet and purple. You didn't exactly give it to me,
(11:06):
he mumbled. When I say give, I mean good gracious.
Sudden enlightenment came upon Sally. That photograph we were hunting
for when I first came here. Had you stolen it
all the time? Why, yes, I did sort of pinch it.
(11:27):
You fraud, you humbug, and you pretended to help me
look for it. She gazed at him, almost with respect.
I never knew you were so deep and snaky. I'm
discovering all sorts of new things about you. There was
a brief silence. Ginger confession over seemed a trifle happier.
(11:49):
I hope you're not frightfully sick about it, he said
at length. It was lying about you know, and I
rather felt I must have it, hadn't the cheek to
ask you for it. So don't apologize, said Sally, cordially.
Great compliment. So I have caused your downfall again, have I?
I'm certainly your evil genius, Ginger, I'm beginning to feel
(12:11):
like a regular rag and a bone and a hank
of hair. First I egged you on to insult your family. Oh,
by the way, I want to thank you about that.
Now that I've met your uncle Donald, I can see
how public spirited you were. I ruined your prospects there,
and now my fatal beauty cabinet size has led to
your destruction once more. It's certainly up to me to
(12:33):
find you another job. I can see that. No, really,
I say, you mustn't bother. I shall be all right,
it's my duty. Now. What is there that you really
can do? Burglary, of course, but it's not respectable. You've
tried being a waiter and a prize fighter and a
right hand man, and none of those seems to be
(12:54):
just right. Can't you suggest anything? Ginger shook his head.
I shall wangle something I expect, yes, but what it
must be? Something good this time. I don't want to
be walking along Broadway and come on you suddenly as
a street cleaner. I don't want to send for an
(13:15):
express man and find you popping up. My idea would
be to go to my bank to arrange an overdraft
and be told the president could give me two minutes
and crawl in humbly and find you pressing away to
beat the band in a big chair. Isn't there anything
in the world that you can do that's solid and
substantial and will keep you out of the poor house
in your old age? Think? Of course, if I had
(13:38):
a bit of capital, Ah the business man, And what
inquired Sallie, would you do? Mister Morgan, if you had
a bit of capital, run a dog thing, O me,
said Ginger promptly. What's a dog thing? O me? Why?
A thing of a jig for dogs? You know? Sallie nodded, Oh,
(14:01):
a thingum a jig for dogs. Now I understand you
will put things so obscurely at first, Ginger, you poor fish,
what are you raving about? What on earth is a
thing of a jig for dogs? I mean a sort
of place like fellows have, breeding dogs, you know, and
selling them and winning prizes and all that. There are
lots of them about. Oh, eight kennels, Yes, a Kennel's
(14:28):
what a weird mind you have, Ginger. You couldn't say
kennels at first, could you. That wouldn't have made it
difficult enough. I suppose if anyone asked you where you
had your lunch, you would say, Oh, I had a
thingum a jig for mutton chops. Ginger, my lad, there
is something in this. I believe, for the first time
in our acquaintance, you have spoken something very nearly resembling
(14:49):
a mouthful. You are wonderful with dogs, aren't you. I'm
dashed keen on them, and I've studied them a bit.
As a matter of fact, though it seems rather like swanking.
They're much about dogs that I don't know. Of course,
I believe you're a sort of honorary dog yourself. I
could tell it by the way you stopped that fight
at Roville. You plunged into a howling mass of about
(15:12):
a million hounds of all species and just whispered in
their ears, and they stopped at once. Why. The more
one examines this, the better it looks. I do believe
it's the one thing you couldn't help making a success of.
It's very paying, isn't It works out at about a
hundred percent on the original outlay. I've been told a
(15:34):
hundred percent that sounds too much like something of Phillmore's
for comfort. Let's say ninety nine and be conservative. Ginger,
you have hit it, say no more. You shall be
the dog king, the biggest thing of a jigger for
dogs in the country. But how do you start? Well,
As a matter of fact, while I was up at
White Plains, I ran into a cove who had a
(15:56):
place of the sort and wanted to sell out. That
was what made me think of it. You must start
to day or early tomorrow. Yes, said Ginger doubtfully. Of
course there's the catch. You know what catch, the capital
you've got to have that this fellow wouldn't sell out
under five thousand dollars. I'll lend you five thousand dollars, no,
(16:21):
said Ginger. Sallie looked at him with exasperation. Ginger, I'd
like to slap you, she said. It was maddening, this
intrusion of sentiment into business affairs. Why simply because he
was a man and she was a woman, should she
be restrained from investing money in a sound commercial undertaking.
If Columbus had taken up this bone headed stand towards
(16:44):
Queen Isabella, America would never have been discovered. I can't
take five thousand dollars off you, said Ginger firmly. Who's
talking of taking it off me? As you call it?
Stormed Sallie. Can't you forget your burglarious career for a second.
This isn't the same thing as going about stealing defenseless
girl's photographs. This is business. I think you would make
(17:05):
an enormous success of a dog place, and you admit
your good So why make frivolous objections? Why shouldn't I
put money into a good thing. Don't you want me
to get rich? Or what is it? Ginger was becoming confused.
Argument had never been his strong point. But it's such
a lot of money to you, perhaps not to me.
(17:27):
I'm a plutocrat. Five thousand dollars. What's five thousand dollars?
I feed it to the birds? Ginger pondered woodenly for
a while. His was a literal mind, and he knew
nothing of Sallie's finances beyond the fact that when he
had first met her, she had come into a legacy
of some kind. Moreover, he had been hugely impressed by
(17:48):
Philmore's magnificence. It seemed plain enough that the Nicholases were
a wealthy family. I don't like it, you know, he said.
You don't have to like it, said Sallie, You just
do it. A consoling thought flashed upon Ginger. You'd have
to let me pay you interest. Let you my lad,
(18:08):
You'll have to pay me interest. What do you think
this is a round game. It's a cold business deal topping,
said Ginger, relieved. How about twenty five percent? Don't be silly,
said Sallie quickly. I want three. No, that's all rot
protested Ginger. I mean to say three, I don't. He
went on, making a concession, mind saying twenty. If you insist,
(18:33):
I'll make it five. Not more well? Ten, then five, suppose,
said Ginger, insinuatingly. I said seven. I never saw anyone
like you for haggling, said Sallie with disapproval. Listen, six,
and that's my last word. Six six Ginger did sums
(18:57):
in his head. But that would only work out it
three hundred dollars a year. It isn't enough. What do
you know about it? As if I hadn't been handling
this sort of deal in my life. Six do you agree?
I suppose, So, then that's settled. Is this man you
talk about in New York? No, he's down on Long Island,
(19:19):
at a place on the south shore. I mean, can
you get him on the phone and clinch the thing?
Oh yes, I know his address, and I suppose his
numbers in the book. Then go off at once and
settle with him before somebody else snaps him up. Don't
waste a minute. Ginger paused at the door. I say,
you're absolutely sure about this? Of course, I mean to say,
(19:45):
get on, said Sallie. Two. The window of Sallie's sitting
room looked out on to a street, which, while not
one of the city's important arteries, was capable nevertheless of
affording a certain amount of entertainment to the observer. And
after Ginger had left, she carried the morning paper to
(20:06):
the window sill and proceeded to divide her attention between
a third reading of the fight report and a lazy
survey of the outer world. It was a beautiful day,
and the outer world was looking its best. She had
not been at her post for many minutes when a
taxi cab stopped at the apartment house, and she was
surprised and interested to see her brother. Fillmore. Heave himself
(20:28):
out of the interior. He paid the driver, and the
cab moved off, leaving him on the sidewalk, casting a
large shadow in the sunshine. Sallie was on the point
of calling to him when his behavior became so odd
that astonishment checked her from where she sat. Fillmore had
all the appearance of a man practicing the steps of
(20:49):
a new dance, and sheer curiosity as to what he
would do next kept Sallie watching in silence. First, he
moved in a resolute sort of way, towards the front door,
then suddenly, stopping, scuttled back. This movement he repeated twice,
after which he stood in deep thought before making another
(21:10):
dash for the door, which, like the others, came to
an abrupt end, as though he had run into some
invisible obstacle, and finally, wheeling sharply, he bustled off down
the street and was lost to view. Sallie could make
nothing of it. If Philmore had taken the trouble to
come in a taxi cab, obviously to call upon her,
(21:31):
why had he abandoned the idea at her very threshold.
She was still speculating on this mystery when the telephone
bell rang and her brother's voice spoke huskily in her ear. Sallie, hullo,
Phil what are you going to call it? What am
I call? What? The dance? You were doing outside here?
(21:54):
Just now? It's your own invention, isn't it? Did you
see me? Said Philmore, upset. Of course I saw you.
I was fascinated. I er I was coming to have
a talk with you, Sallie. Philmore's voice trailed off, Well
why didn't you? There was a pause on Fillmore's part.
(22:17):
If the tambore of his voice correctly indicated his feelings.
A pause of discomfort. Something was plainly vexing Philmore's great mind. Sallie,
he said at last, and coughed hollowly into the receiver. Yes,
I that is to say, I have asked Gladys. Gladys
(22:38):
will be coming to see you very shortly. When you
be in, I'll stay in. How is Gladys. I'm longing
to see her again. She is very well, A trifle
a little upset. Upset? What about? She will tell you
when she arrives. I have just been phoning to her.
She's coming at once. There was another pause. I'm afraid
(23:01):
she has bad news. What news? There was silence at
the other end of the wire. What news, repeated Sallie
a little sharply. She hated mysteries, but Fillmore had rung off.
Sallie hung up the receiver thoughtfully. She was puzzled and anxious. However,
there being nothing to be gained by worrying, she carried
(23:23):
the breakfast things into the kitchen and tried to divert
herself by washing up. Presently, a ring at the door
bell brought her out to find her sister in law. Marriage,
even though it had brought with it the lofty position
of partnership with the hope of the American stage, had
effected no noticeable alteration in the former Miss Winch. As
(23:43):
Missus Fillmore, she was the same square, friendly creature. She
hugged Sallie in a muscular manner and went on in
the sitting room. Well, it's great seeing you again, she said.
I began to think you were never coming back. What
was the big idea springing over to England like that?
Sallie had been expecting the question and answered it with composure.
(24:04):
I wanted to help mister Fawcett. Who's mister Fawcett. Hasn't
Filmore ever mentioned him. He was a dear old man
at the boarding house, and his brother died and left
him a dressmaking establishment in London. He screamed to me
to come and tell him what to do about it.
He has sold it now and is quite happy in
the country. Well the trip's done, you good, said Missus Fillmore.
(24:26):
You are prettier than ever. There was a pause already
in these trivial opening exchanges. Sallie had sensed a suggestion
of unwonted gravity in her companion. She missed that careless
whimsicality which had been the chief characteristic of miss Gladys Wench,
and seemed to have been cast off by Missus Fillmore
Nicholas at their meeting. Before she had spoken, Sallie had
(24:50):
not noticed this, but now it was apparent that something
was weighing on her companion. Missus Fillmore's honest eyes were troubled.
What's the bad news, asked Sallie abruptly. She wanted to
end the suspense. Fillmore was telling me over the phone
that you had some bad news for me. Missus Fillmore
scratched at the carpet for a moment with the end
(25:12):
of her parasol, without replying. When she spoke, it was
not in answer to the question, Sallie, who's this man
Carlyle over in England? How did Pilmore tell you about him?
He told me there was a rich fellow over in
England who was crazy about you and had asked you
to marry him, and that you had turned him down.
(25:33):
Sallie's momentary annoyance faded. She could hardly, she felt, have
expected Fillmore to refrain from mentioning the matter to his wife. Yes,
she said, that's true. You couldn't write and say you've
changed your mind. Sallie's annoyance returned. All her life she
had been intensely independent, resentful of interference with her private concerns.
(25:58):
I suppose I could if I had, but I haven't.
Did Philmore tell you to try to talk me round?
Oh I'm not trying to talk you round, said missus
Fillmore quickly. Goodness knows. I'm the last person to try
and jolly any one into marrying anybody if they didn't
feel like it. I've seen too many marriages go wrong
to do that. Look at Elsa Doland. Sallie's heart jumped,
(26:20):
as if an exposed nerve had been touched Elsa. She
stammered and hated herself because her voice shook. Has Has
her marriage gone wrong? Gone all to bits? Said missus
Fillmore shortly. You remember she married Gerald Foster, the man
who wrote The Primrose Way. Sallie, with an effort, repressed
(26:43):
an hysterical laugh. Yes, I remember, she said, Well it's
gone all blooey. I'll tell you about that in a minute.
Coming back to this man in England. If you're in
any doubt about it, I mean you can't always tell
right away whether you're fond of a man or not.
When first I met Philmore, I couldn't see him with
a spyglass, and now he's just the whole shooting match.
(27:04):
But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I
was saying, one doesn't always know one's own mind at first.
And if this fellow really is a good fellow, and
Fillmore tells me he's got all the money in the world,
Sallie stopped her. No, it's no good. I don't want
to marry mister Carlyle. That's that, then, said Missus Fillmore.
(27:26):
It's a pity, though, Why are you taking it so
much to heart, said Sallie with a nervous laugh. Well,
Missus Fillmore, paused, Sallie's anxiety was growing. It must, she realized,
be something very serious. Indeed that had happened if it
had the power to make her forthright. Sister in law,
disjointed in her talk, you see, went on Missus Fillmore,
(27:50):
and stopped again. Gee, I'm hating this, she murmured, What
is it? I don't understand. You'll find it's all too
darned clear by the time I'm through, said missus Fillmore mournfully.
If I'm going to explain this thing, I guess i'd
best start at the beginning. You remember that review of Fillmore's,
the one we both begged him not to put on.
(28:12):
It flopped, Oh yes, it flopped on the road and
died there. Never got to New York at all. Ike
Schumann wouldn't let Fillmore have a theater. The book wanted fixing,
and the numbers wanted fixing, and the scenery wasn't right.
And while they were tinkering with all that, there was
trouble about the cast and the actors. Equity closed the show.
(28:32):
Best thing that could have happened, really, And I was
glad at the time, because going on with it would
only have meant wasting more money, and it had cost
a fortune already. After that, Phillmore put on a play
of Gerald Foster's and that was a frost too. It
ran a week at the booth. I hear the new
piece he's got in rehearsal now is no good either.
It's called the wild Rose or something, But Phillmore's got
(28:55):
nothing to do with that. But Sallly tried to speak,
but miss as Fillmore went on, don't talk just yet.
Or I shall never get this thing straight. Well, you
know fillmore, poor darling. Any one else would have pulled
in his horns and gone slow for a spell. But
he's one of those fellows whose horse is always going
to win the next race. The big killing is always
(29:16):
just round the corner with him. Funny how you can
see what a chump a man is and yet love
him to death. I remember saying something like that to
you before. He thought he could get it all back
by staging this fight of his that came off in
Jersey City last night. And if everything had gone right,
he might have got afloat again. But it seems as
if he can't touch anything without it turning to mud.
(29:38):
On the very day before the fight was to come off,
the poor mutt, who is going against the champion, goes
and lets a sparring partner of his own knock him
down and fool around with him. With all the newspaper
men there too. You probably saw about it in the papers.
It made a great story for them. Well, that killed
the whole thing. The public had never been any too
sure that this fellow bugs Butler had a chance of
(30:00):
up a scrap with the champion. That would be worth
paying to see. And when they read that he couldn't
even stop his sparring partner slamming him all around the place,
they simply decided to stay away. Poor old Phil, it
was a finisher for him. The house wasn't a quarter full,
and after he'd paid those two plug uglies their guarantees,
which they insisted on having before they'd so much as
(30:21):
go into the ring, he was just about cleaned out.
So there you are. Sallie had listened with dismay to
this catalog of misfortunes. Oh poor Phil, she cried, how dreadful,
pretty tough. But the Primrose Way is a big success,
isn't it, said Sallie, anxious to discover something of brightness
(30:41):
in the situation. It was missus Fillmore flushed again. This
is the part I hate having to tell you it was.
Do you mean it isn't still? I thought Elsa had
made such a tremendous hit. I read about it when
I was over in London. It was even in one
of the England Yes, she made a hit, all right,
(31:03):
said missus Fillmore dryly. She made such a hit that
all the other managements in New York were after her
right away. And Fillmore had hardly sailed when she handed
in her notice and signed up with Goble and Cone
for a new piece there starring her in Ah. She couldn't,
cried Sallie, my dear, she did. She's out on the
(31:24):
road with it now. I had to break the news
to poor old Fillmore at the dock when he landed.
It was rather a blow, I must say. It wasn't
what I would call playing the game. I know there
isn't supposed to be any sentiment in business, but after all,
we had given Elsa her big chance. But Fillmore wouldn't
put her name up over the theater in e Electrics,
and Goble and Cone made it a clause in her
(31:46):
contract that they would, so nothing else mattered. People are
like that, but Elsa, she used not to be like that.
They all get that way. They must grab success if
it's to be I suppose you can't blame them. You
might just as well expect a cat to keep off catnip. Still,
she might have waited to the end of the New
(32:08):
York run. Missus Fillmore put out her hand and touched Sallie's. Well,
I've got it out now, she said, and believe me
it was one rotten job. You don't know how sorry
I am, Sallie. I wouldn't have had it happen for
a million dollars, nor would fillmore. I'm not sure that
I'd blame him for getting cold feet and backing out
of telling you himself. He just hadn't the nerve to
(32:30):
come and confess that he had fooled away your money.
He was hoping all along that this fight would pan
out big and that he'd be able to pay you
back what you had loaned him. But things didn't happen right.
Sallie was silent. She was thinking how strange it was
that this room in which she had hoped to be
so happy had been, from the first moment of her occupancy,
(32:51):
a storm center of bad news and miserable disillusionment. In
this first shock of the tidings, it was the disillusionment
that hurt most. She had always been so fond of Elsa,
and Elsa had always seemed so fond of her. She
remembered that letter of Elsa's, with all its protestations of gratitude.
It wasn't straight. It was horrible, callous, selfish, altogether horrible.
(33:17):
It's she choked as a rush of indignation brought the
tears to her eyes. It's beastly, I'm I'm not thinking
about my money. That's just bad luck. But Elsa, Missus Fillmore,
shrugged her square shoulders. Well, it's happening all the time
in the show business, she said, and in every other
(33:38):
business too. I guess if one only knew enough about
them to be able to say. Of course, it hits
you hard, because Elsa was a pal of yours, and
your thinking she might have considered you after all you'd
done for her. I can't say I'm much surprised myself.
Missus Fillmore was talking rapidly and dimly. Sally understood that
she was talking so that talk would carry her over
(33:59):
This bad mum silence now would have been unendurable. I
was in the company with her, and it sometimes seems
to me as if you can't get to know a
person right through till you've been in the same company
with them. Elsa's all right, but she's two people, really
like these dual identity cases you read about. She's awfully
fond of you. I know she is. She was always
(34:20):
saying so, and it was quite genuine. If it didn't
interfere with business. There's nothing she wouldn't do for you.
But when it's a case of her career, you don't count.
Nobody counts, not even her husband. Now that's funny if
you think that sort of thing funny personally, it gives
me the willies. What's funny, asked Sally Dully. Well, you
(34:42):
weren't there, so you didn't see it. But I was
on the spot all the time, and I know as
well as I know anything that he simply married her
because he thought she could get him on in the game.
He hardly paid any attention to her at all till
she was such a riot in Chicago, and then he
was all over her. And now he's got stung. She
throws down his show and goes off to another fellow's.
It's like marrying for money and finding the girl hasn't
(35:04):
any And she's got stung too, in a way, because
I'm pretty sure she married him mostly because she thought
he was going to be the next big man in
the play riding business and could boost her up the ladder.
And now it doesn't look as though he had another
success in him. The result is there at outs I
hear he's drinking somebody who had seen him told me
he had gone all to pieces. You haven't seen him,
(35:26):
I suppose no. I thought maybe you might have run
into him. He lives right opposite Sally, clutched at the
arm of her chair, lives right opposite Gerald Foster. What
do you mean across the passage there, said missus Fillmore,
jerking her thumb at the door. Didn't you know? That's right?
(35:48):
I suppose you didn't. They moved in after you had
beaten it for England. Elsa wanted to be near you,
and she was tickled to death when she found there
was an apartment to be had right across from you. Now,
that just proves what I was saying a while ago
about Elsa. If she wasn't fond of you, would she
go out of her way to camp next door? And
yet though she's so fond of you, she doesn't hesitate
(36:09):
about wrecking your property by quitting the show, and she
sees a chance of doing herself a bit of good.
It's funny, isn't it. The telephone bell tinkling sharply rescued
Sallie from the necessity of a reply. She forced herself
across the room to answer it. Hullo. Ginger's voice spoke jubilantly, hullo,
(36:30):
are you there? I say, it's all right about that
binge you know. Oh, yes, that dog fellow you know,
said Ginger with a slight diminution of exuberance. His sensitive
ear had seemed to detect a lack of animation in
her voice. I've just been talking to him over the phone,
and it's all settled, if he added, with a touch
(36:52):
of doubt, you still feel like going into it. I mean,
there was an instant in which Sallie hesitated, but it
was only an instant. Why, of course, she said steadily.
Why should you think I had changed my mind? Well,
I thought, that is to say, you seemed, oh, I
don't know, you imagine things. I was a little worried
(37:15):
about something when you called me up, and my mind
wasn't working properly. Of course, go ahead with it, Ginger,
I'm delighted. I say, I'm awfully sorry you're worried. Oh
it's all right. Something bad, nothing that'll kill me. I'm
young and strong. Ginger was silent for a moment. I say,
(37:38):
I don't want to butt in, but can I do anything? No, really, Ginger,
I know you would do anything you could, but this
is just something I must worry through by myself. When
do you go down to this place? I was thinking
of popping down this afternoon just to take a look round.
Let me know what train you're making, and I'll come
and see you off. That's rippy of you, right ho, well,
(38:01):
so long, so long, said Sallie. Missus. Fillmore, who had
been sitting in that state of suspended animation which comes
upon people who are present at a telephone conversation which
has nothing to do with themselves, came to life as
Sallie replaced the receiver. Sallie, she said, I think we
ought to have a talk now about what you're going
(38:22):
to do. Sallie was not feeling equal to any discussion
of the future. All she asked of the world at
the moment was to be left alone. Oh that's all right,
I shall manage. You ought to be worrying about Fillmore.
Fillmore's got me to look after him, said Gladys with
quiet determination. You're the one that's on my mind. I
(38:44):
lay awake all last night thinking about you. As far
as I can make out from Fillmore, You've still a
few thousand dollars left. Well, as it happens, I can
put you on to a really good thing. I know
a girl I'm afraid, interrupted Sallie. All the of my money,
what there is of it, is tied up. You can't
get hold of it. No, but listen, said missus Fillmore urgently.
(39:10):
This is a really good thing. This girl I know
started an interior decorating business some time ago and is
pulling in money in handfuls. But she wants more capital,
and she's willing to let go of a third of
the business to anyone who'll put in a few thousand.
She won't have any difficulty getting it. But I phoned
her this morning to hold off till I'd hurt from you. Honestly, Sally,
(39:30):
it's the chance of a lifetime. It would put you
right on easy street. Isn't there really any way you
could get your money out of this other thing and
take on this deal? There really isn't. I'm awfully obliged
to you, gladys dear, but it's impossible, well, said missus Fillmore,
prodding the carpet energetically with her parasol. I don't know
(39:50):
what you've gone into, but unless they've given you a share,
in the mint or something. You'll be losing by not
making the switch. You're sure you can't do it? I
really can't, Missus Fillmore rose plainly disappointed. Well you know best,
of course. Gosh, what a muddle everything is, Sallie, she said, suddenly,
(40:12):
stopping at the door. You're not going to hate poor
old Phillmore over this, are you? Why? Of course not.
The whole thing was just bad luck. He's worried stiff
about it. Well, give him my love and tell him
not to be so silly. Missus Fillmore crossed the room
and kissed Sallie impulsively. You're an angel, she said. I
(40:34):
wish there were more like you, but I guess they've
lost the pattern. Well, I'll go back and tell Fillmore
that it'll relieve him. The door closed, and Sallie sat
down with her chin in her hands to think. Three.
Mister Isidore Abrahams, the founder and proprietor of that deservedly
(40:58):
popular dancing resort poet named the Flower Garden, leaned back
in his chair with a contented sigh, and laid down
the knife and fork with which he had been assailing
a plateful of succulent gulash he was dining, as was
his admirable custom, in the bosom of his family at
his residence at far Rockaway. Across the table, his wife
(41:19):
Rebecca beamed at him over her comfortable plinth of chins,
and round the table. His children, David, Jacob, Morris and
Sadie would have beamed at him if they had not
been too busy at the moment ingurgitating goulash. A genial, honest,
domestic man was mister Abrahams. A credit to the community, mother,
(41:42):
he said, PA, said, missus Abrahams knew there was something
I'd meant to tell you, said mister Abrahams, absently chasing
a piece of bread round his plate with a stout finger.
You remember that girl I told you about some time back,
girl working at the garden, girl called Nicholas, who came
into a bit of money and threw up her job.
(42:03):
I remember you liked her, Jakie, dear, don't gobble, ain't gobbling,
said Master Abrahams. Everybody liked her, said mister Abrahams. The
nicest girl I ever hired. And I don't hire none
but nice girls, because the garden's a nice place and
I like to run it nice. I wouldn't give you
a nickel for any of your tough joints, where you
get nothing but low lifes and scare away all the
(42:26):
real folks. Everybody liked Sally Nicholas, always pleasant and always smiling,
and never anything but the lady. It was a tree
to have her around. Well, what do you think dead,
inquired missus Abrahams, apprehensively. The story had sounded to her
as though it were heading that way. Wipe your mouth, Jackie, dear. No,
(42:47):
not dead, said mister Abrahams, conscious for the first time
that the remainder of his narrative might be considered by
a critic something of an anticlimax and lacking in drama.
But she was in to see me this afternoon and
wants her job back, ah, said missus Abrahams, rather tonelessly.
An ardent supporter of the local Motion picture Palace, she
(43:09):
had hoped for a slightly more gingery denu Mott, something
with a bit more punch. Yes, but don't it show you,
continued mister Abrahams, gallantly, trying to work up the interest.
There's this girl goes out of my place not more'n
a year ago, with a good bank roll in her pocket,
and here she is back again, all of it's spent.
Don't it show you what a tragedy life is? If
(43:31):
you see what I mean and how careful one ought
to be about money. It's what I call a human document.
Goodness knows how she's been and gone and spent it all.
I'd never have thought she was the sort of girl
to go gadding around. Always seemed to me to be
kind of sensible. What's gadding? Pop? Asked Master Jackie the Gulash,
having ceased to chain his interest. Well, she wanted her
(43:54):
job back, and I gave it to her, and glad
to get her back again. There's class to that girl.
She's the sort of girl I want in the place.
Doesn't seem quite to have so much get up in
her as she used to. Seems kind of quieted down.
But she's got class and I'm glad she's back. I
hope she'll stay. But don't it show you? Ah, said
missus Abrahams with more enthusiasm than before. It had not
(44:17):
worked out such a bad story, after all. In its essentials,
it was not unlike the film she had seen the
previous evening, Gloria Gooch in A Girl Against the world pop,
said Master Abrahams. Yes, Jackie, when I'm grown up, I
won't never lose no money. I'll put it in the
bank and save it. The slight depression caused by the
(44:40):
contemplation of Sally's troubles left mister Abrahams as mist melts
beneath a sunbeam. That's a good boy, Jackie. He said.
He felt in his waistcoat pocket found a dime, put
it back again, and bent forward and patted Master Abrahams
on the head end of Chapter fourteen, read by car
(45:04):
Shallenberg on February second, two thousand nine, in San Diego, California,
Chapter fourteen of the Adventures of Sallie. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse, Chapter fourteen,
Mister Abraham's re engages an old employee one The only
(00:27):
real happiness, we are told is to be obtained by
bringing happiness to others. Bugs Butler's mood, accordingly, when some
thirty hours after the painful episode recorded in the last chapter,
he awoke from a state of coma in the ring
at Jersey City to discover that mister Leu Lucas had
knocked him out in the middle of the third round,
(00:47):
should have been one of quiet contentment. His inability to
block a short left hook followed by a right to
the point of the jaw had ameliorated quite a number
of existences. Mister Lew Lucas, for one, was noticeably pleased.
So were mister Lucas's seconds, one of whom went so
far as to kiss him, and most of the crowd,
(01:10):
who had betted heavily on the champion were delighted. Yet
Bugs Butler did not rejoice. It is not too much
to say that his peevish bearing struck a jarring note
in the general gaiety. A heavy frown disfigured his face
as he slouched from the ring. But the happiness which
he had spread went on spreading. The two wise guys,
(01:32):
who had been unable to attend the fight in person,
received the result on the ticker, and exuberantly proclaimed themselves
the richer by five hundred dollars. The pimpled office boy
at the Fillmore Nicholas Theatrical Enterprises Limited, caused remark in
the subway by whooping gleefully when he read the news
in his morning paper, for he too had been rendered
(01:53):
wealthier by the brittleness of mister Butler's chin. And it
was with fierce satisfaction that Sally breakfasting in her little
apartment informed herself through the sporting page of the details
of the contender's downfall. She was not a girl who
disliked many people, but she had acquired a lively distaste
for bugs. Butler lou Lucas seemed a man after her
(02:17):
own heart. If he had been a personal friend of Ginger's,
he could not, considering the brief time at his disposal
have avenged him with more thoroughness. In round one he
had done all sorts of diverting things to mister Butler's
left eye. In round two he had continued the good
work on that gentleman's body, and in round three he
(02:37):
had knocked him out. Could any one have done more?
Sallie thought not, and she drank lou Lucas's health in
a cup of coffee and hoped his old mother was
proud of him. The telephone bell rang at her elbow.
She unhooked the receiver. Hullo, oh, hullo, said a voice.
(02:59):
Ginger cried, Sallie delightedly. I say, I'm awfully glad you're back.
I only got your letter this morning, founded at the
boarding house. I happened to look in there, and Ginger interrupted, Sallie,
your voice is music. But I want to see you.
Where are you? I'm at a chemist's shop across the street.
(03:20):
I was wondering if come here at once, I say,
may I. I was just going to ask you, miserable creature,
why haven't you been round to see me before? Well?
As a matter of fact, I haven't been going about
much for the last day. You see I know. Of course,
(03:41):
quick sympathy came into Sallie's voice. She gave a sidelong
glance of approval and gratitude at the large picture of
Leu Lucas, which beamed up at her from the morning paper.
You poor thing, how are you? Oh all right? Thanks? Well,
hurry There was a slight pause at the other end
(04:01):
of the wire. I say, well, I'm not much to
look at, you know, you never were. Stop talking and
hurry over, I mean to say. Sallie hung up the
receiver firmly. She waited eagerly for some minutes, and then
footsteps came along the passage. They stopped at her door,
(04:24):
and the bell rang. Sallie ran to the door, flung
it open, and recoiled in consternation. Oh, Ginger, he had
stated the facts accurately when he had said that he
was not much to look at. He gazed at her
devotedly out of an unblemished right eye, but the other
was hidden altogether by a puffy swelling of dull purple.
(04:47):
A great bruise marred his left cheekbone, and he spoke
with some difficulty through swollen lips. It's all right, you know,
he assured her. It isn't. It's awful. Oh, you poor darling.
She clenched her teeth viciously. I wish he had killed him, Eh,
(05:08):
I wish lu Lucas or whatever his name is had
murdered him. Brute. Oh I don't know. You know, Ginger's
sense of fairness compelled him to defend his late employer
against these harsh sentiments. He isn't a bad sort of chap, really,
bugs Butler. I mean, do you seriously mean to stand
(05:29):
there and tell me you don't loathe the creature? Oh,
he's all right, see his point of view and all that.
Can't blame him if you come to think of it,
for getting the wind up a bit in the circus
bit thick. I mean to say, a sparring partner going
at him like that. Naturally, he didn't think it much
of a wheeze. It was my fault right along. Oughtn't
(05:49):
to have done it, of course, But somehow, when he
started making an ass of me, and I knew you
were looking on, well, it seemed a good idea to
have a dash at doing something on my own. No
to of course, a sparring partner isn't supposed sit down,
said Sallie. Ginger sat down. Ginger said, Sallie, you're too
(06:11):
good to live. Oh, I say, I believe if someone
sand bagged you and stole your watch and chain, you'd
say there were faults on both sides or something. I'm
just a cat, and I say, I wish you're beast
of a bug's butler had perished miserably, I'd have gone
and danced on his grave. But whatever made you go
in for that sort of thing, well, it seemed the
(06:34):
only job that was going at the moment. I've always
done a goodish bit of boxing, and I was very
fit and so on, and it looked to me rather
an opening. Gave me something to get along with. You
get paid quite fairly decently, you know, and it's rather
a jolly life, jolly being hammered about like that. Oh
you don't notice it much. I've always enjoyed scrapping rather.
(06:58):
And you see, when your brother gave me the push,
Sally uttered an exclamation, What an extraordinary thing it is.
I went all the way out to White Plains that
afternoon to find Fillmore and tackle him about that. And
I didn't say a word about it. And I haven't
seen or been able to get a hold of him.
Since no busy sort of cove your brother? Why did fillmore?
(07:21):
Let you go? Let me go? Oh you mean, well,
there was a sort of mix up, a kind of misunderstanding.
What happened? Oh it was nothing, just a what happened?
Ginger's disfigured countenance betrayed embarrassment. He looked awkwardly about the room.
(07:44):
It's not worth talking about. It is worth talking about.
I've a right to know. It was I who sent
you to fillmore. Now, that, said Ginger, was jolly decent
of you. Don't interrupt. I sent you to fillmore, and
he had no business to let you go without saying
a word to me. What happened? Ginger twiddled his fingers unhappily. Well,
(08:09):
it was rather unfortunate. You see his wife, I don't
know if you know her. Of course I know her. Why, yes,
you would, wouldn't you your brother's wife, I mean, said
Ginger acutely. Though as a matter of fact, you often
find sisters in law who won't have anything to do
with one another. I know a fellow. Ginger said, sallly,
(08:31):
it's no good your thinking. You can get out of
telling me by rambling off on other subjects. I'm grim
and resolute and relentless, and I mean to get this
story out of you if I have to use a corkscrew.
Fillmore's wife. You were saying, Ginger came back reluctantly to
the main theme. Well, she came into the office one
(08:52):
morning and we started fooling about, fooling about, well, kind
of chivvying each other. Chivvying at least I was, you were,
what sort of chasing her a bit? You know. Sally
regarded this apostle of frivolity with amazement. What do you
(09:16):
mean Ginger's embarrassment increased? The thing was? You see, she
happened to trickle in rather quietly when I happened to
be looking at something, and I didn't know she was
there till she suddenly grabbed it, grabbed what the thing?
The thing I happened to be looking at. She bagged it,
(09:37):
collared it, took it away from me, you know, and
wouldn't give it back, and generally started to rot about
a bit. So I rather began to chivvy her to
some extent, and I just caught her. When your brother
happened to roll in, I suppose, said Ginger, putting two
and two together. He had really come with her to
the office and had happened to hang back for a
minute or two to talk to somebody or something. Well,
(09:59):
of course, he was considerably fed to see me, apparently
doing jiu jitsu with his wife. Enough to rattle any man,
if you come to think of it, said Ginger, ever
fair minded. Well, he didn't say anything at the time,
but a bit later in the day he called me
in and administered the push. Sallie shook her head. It
(10:20):
sounds the craziest story to me. What was it that
missus Fillmore took from you? Oh, just something, Sallie rapped
the table imperiously. Ginger. Well, as a matter of fact,
said her goaded visitor, It was a photograph who of
(10:43):
or if you are particular of whom, Well, you to
be absolutely accurate me, Sallie stared, But I've never given
you a photograph of myself. Ginger's face was a study
in scarlet and purple. You didn't exactly give it to me,
(11:06):
he mumbled. When I say give, I mean good gracious.
Sudden enlightenment came upon Sally. That photograph we were hunting
for when I first came here. Had you stolen it
all the time? Why, yes, I did sort of pinch it.
(11:27):
You fraud, you humbug, and you pretended to help me
look for it. She gazed at him, almost with respect.
I never knew you were so deep and snaky. I'm
discovering all sorts of new things about you. There was
a brief silence. Ginger confession over seemed a trifle happier.
(11:49):
I hope you're not frightfully sick about it, he said
at length. It was lying about you know, and I
rather felt I must have it, hadn't the cheek to
ask you for it. So don't apologize, said Sally, cordially.
Great compliment. So I have caused your downfall again, have I?
I'm certainly your evil genius, Ginger, I'm beginning to feel
(12:11):
like a regular rag and a bone and a hank
of hair. First I egged you on to insult your family. Oh,
by the way, I want to thank you about that.
Now that I've met your uncle Donald, I can see
how public spirited you were. I ruined your prospects there,
and now my fatal beauty cabinet size has led to
your destruction once more. It's certainly up to me to
(12:33):
find you another job. I can see that. No, really,
I say, you mustn't bother. I shall be all right,
it's my duty. Now. What is there that you really
can do? Burglary, of course, but it's not respectable. You've
tried being a waiter and a prize fighter and a
right hand man, and none of those seems to be
(12:54):
just right. Can't you suggest anything? Ginger shook his head.
I shall wangle something I expect, yes, but what it
must be? Something good this time. I don't want to
be walking along Broadway and come on you suddenly as
a street cleaner. I don't want to send for an
(13:15):
express man and find you popping up. My idea would
be to go to my bank to arrange an overdraft
and be told the president could give me two minutes
and crawl in humbly and find you pressing away to
beat the band in a big chair. Isn't there anything
in the world that you can do that's solid and
substantial and will keep you out of the poor house
in your old age? Think? Of course, if I had
(13:38):
a bit of capital, Ah the business man, And what
inquired Sallie, would you do? Mister Morgan, if you had
a bit of capital, run a dog thing, O me,
said Ginger promptly. What's a dog thing? O me? Why?
A thing of a jig for dogs? You know? Sallie nodded, Oh,
(14:01):
a thingum a jig for dogs. Now I understand you
will put things so obscurely at first, Ginger, you poor fish,
what are you raving about? What on earth is a
thing of a jig for dogs? I mean a sort
of place like fellows have, breeding dogs, you know, and
selling them and winning prizes and all that. There are
lots of them about. Oh, eight kennels, Yes, a Kennel's
(14:28):
what a weird mind you have, Ginger. You couldn't say
kennels at first, could you. That wouldn't have made it
difficult enough. I suppose if anyone asked you where you
had your lunch, you would say, Oh, I had a
thingum a jig for mutton chops. Ginger, my lad, there
is something in this. I believe, for the first time
in our acquaintance, you have spoken something very nearly resembling
(14:49):
a mouthful. You are wonderful with dogs, aren't you. I'm
dashed keen on them, and I've studied them a bit.
As a matter of fact, though it seems rather like swanking.
They're much about dogs that I don't know. Of course,
I believe you're a sort of honorary dog yourself. I
could tell it by the way you stopped that fight
at Roville. You plunged into a howling mass of about
(15:12):
a million hounds of all species and just whispered in
their ears, and they stopped at once. Why. The more
one examines this, the better it looks. I do believe
it's the one thing you couldn't help making a success of.
It's very paying, isn't It works out at about a
hundred percent on the original outlay. I've been told a
(15:34):
hundred percent that sounds too much like something of Phillmore's
for comfort. Let's say ninety nine and be conservative. Ginger,
you have hit it, say no more. You shall be
the dog king, the biggest thing of a jigger for
dogs in the country. But how do you start? Well,
As a matter of fact, while I was up at
White Plains, I ran into a cove who had a
(15:56):
place of the sort and wanted to sell out. That
was what made me think of it. You must start
to day or early tomorrow. Yes, said Ginger doubtfully. Of
course there's the catch. You know what catch, the capital
you've got to have that this fellow wouldn't sell out
under five thousand dollars. I'll lend you five thousand dollars, no,
(16:21):
said Ginger. Sallie looked at him with exasperation. Ginger, I'd
like to slap you, she said. It was maddening, this
intrusion of sentiment into business affairs. Why simply because he
was a man and she was a woman, should she
be restrained from investing money in a sound commercial undertaking.
If Columbus had taken up this bone headed stand towards
(16:44):
Queen Isabella, America would never have been discovered. I can't
take five thousand dollars off you, said Ginger firmly. Who's
talking of taking it off me? As you call it?
Stormed Sallie. Can't you forget your burglarious career for a second.
This isn't the same thing as going about stealing defenseless
girl's photographs. This is business. I think you would make
(17:05):
an enormous success of a dog place, and you admit
your good So why make frivolous objections? Why shouldn't I
put money into a good thing. Don't you want me
to get rich? Or what is it? Ginger was becoming confused.
Argument had never been his strong point. But it's such
a lot of money to you, perhaps not to me.
(17:27):
I'm a plutocrat. Five thousand dollars. What's five thousand dollars?
I feed it to the birds? Ginger pondered woodenly for
a while. His was a literal mind, and he knew
nothing of Sallie's finances beyond the fact that when he
had first met her, she had come into a legacy
of some kind. Moreover, he had been hugely impressed by
(17:48):
Philmore's magnificence. It seemed plain enough that the Nicholases were
a wealthy family. I don't like it, you know, he said.
You don't have to like it, said Sallie, You just
do it. A consoling thought flashed upon Ginger. You'd have
to let me pay you interest. Let you my lad,
(18:08):
You'll have to pay me interest. What do you think
this is a round game. It's a cold business deal topping,
said Ginger, relieved. How about twenty five percent? Don't be silly,
said Sallie quickly. I want three. No, that's all rot
protested Ginger. I mean to say three, I don't. He
went on, making a concession, mind saying twenty. If you insist,
(18:33):
I'll make it five. Not more well? Ten, then five, suppose,
said Ginger, insinuatingly. I said seven. I never saw anyone
like you for haggling, said Sallie with disapproval. Listen, six,
and that's my last word. Six six Ginger did sums
(18:57):
in his head. But that would only work out it
three hundred dollars a year. It isn't enough. What do
you know about it? As if I hadn't been handling
this sort of deal in my life. Six do you agree?
I suppose, So, then that's settled. Is this man you
talk about in New York? No, he's down on Long Island,
(19:19):
at a place on the south shore. I mean, can
you get him on the phone and clinch the thing?
Oh yes, I know his address, and I suppose his
numbers in the book. Then go off at once and
settle with him before somebody else snaps him up. Don't
waste a minute. Ginger paused at the door. I say,
you're absolutely sure about this? Of course, I mean to say,
(19:45):
get on, said Sallie. Two. The window of Sallie's sitting
room looked out on to a street, which, while not
one of the city's important arteries, was capable nevertheless of
affording a certain amount of entertainment to the observer. And
after Ginger had left, she carried the morning paper to
(20:06):
the window sill and proceeded to divide her attention between
a third reading of the fight report and a lazy
survey of the outer world. It was a beautiful day,
and the outer world was looking its best. She had
not been at her post for many minutes when a
taxi cab stopped at the apartment house, and she was
surprised and interested to see her brother. Fillmore. Heave himself
(20:28):
out of the interior. He paid the driver, and the
cab moved off, leaving him on the sidewalk, casting a
large shadow in the sunshine. Sallie was on the point
of calling to him when his behavior became so odd
that astonishment checked her from where she sat. Fillmore had
all the appearance of a man practicing the steps of
(20:49):
a new dance, and sheer curiosity as to what he
would do next kept Sallie watching in silence. First, he
moved in a resolute sort of way, towards the front door,
then suddenly, stopping, scuttled back. This movement he repeated twice,
after which he stood in deep thought before making another
(21:10):
dash for the door, which, like the others, came to
an abrupt end, as though he had run into some
invisible obstacle, and finally, wheeling sharply, he bustled off down
the street and was lost to view. Sallie could make
nothing of it. If Philmore had taken the trouble to
come in a taxi cab, obviously to call upon her,
(21:31):
why had he abandoned the idea at her very threshold.
She was still speculating on this mystery when the telephone
bell rang and her brother's voice spoke huskily in her ear. Sallie, hullo,
Phil what are you going to call it? What am
I call? What? The dance? You were doing outside here?
(21:54):
Just now? It's your own invention, isn't it? Did you
see me? Said Philmore, upset. Of course I saw you.
I was fascinated. I er I was coming to have
a talk with you, Sallie. Philmore's voice trailed off, Well
why didn't you? There was a pause on Fillmore's part.
(22:17):
If the tambore of his voice correctly indicated his feelings.
A pause of discomfort. Something was plainly vexing Philmore's great mind. Sallie,
he said at last, and coughed hollowly into the receiver. Yes,
I that is to say, I have asked Gladys. Gladys
(22:38):
will be coming to see you very shortly. When you
be in, I'll stay in. How is Gladys. I'm longing
to see her again. She is very well, A trifle
a little upset. Upset? What about? She will tell you
when she arrives. I have just been phoning to her.
She's coming at once. There was another pause. I'm afraid
(23:01):
she has bad news. What news? There was silence at
the other end of the wire. What news, repeated Sallie
a little sharply. She hated mysteries, but Fillmore had rung off.
Sallie hung up the receiver thoughtfully. She was puzzled and anxious. However,
there being nothing to be gained by worrying, she carried
(23:23):
the breakfast things into the kitchen and tried to divert
herself by washing up. Presently, a ring at the door
bell brought her out to find her sister in law. Marriage,
even though it had brought with it the lofty position
of partnership with the hope of the American stage, had
effected no noticeable alteration in the former Miss Winch. As
(23:43):
Missus Fillmore, she was the same square, friendly creature. She
hugged Sallie in a muscular manner and went on in
the sitting room. Well, it's great seeing you again, she said.
I began to think you were never coming back. What
was the big idea springing over to England like that?
Sallie had been expecting the question and answered it with composure.
(24:04):
I wanted to help mister Fawcett. Who's mister Fawcett. Hasn't
Filmore ever mentioned him. He was a dear old man
at the boarding house, and his brother died and left
him a dressmaking establishment in London. He screamed to me
to come and tell him what to do about it.
He has sold it now and is quite happy in
the country. Well the trip's done, you good, said Missus Fillmore.
(24:26):
You are prettier than ever. There was a pause already
in these trivial opening exchanges. Sallie had sensed a suggestion
of unwonted gravity in her companion. She missed that careless
whimsicality which had been the chief characteristic of miss Gladys Wench,
and seemed to have been cast off by Missus Fillmore
Nicholas at their meeting. Before she had spoken, Sallie had
(24:50):
not noticed this, but now it was apparent that something
was weighing on her companion. Missus Fillmore's honest eyes were troubled.
What's the bad news, asked Sallie abruptly. She wanted to
end the suspense. Fillmore was telling me over the phone
that you had some bad news for me. Missus Fillmore
scratched at the carpet for a moment with the end
(25:12):
of her parasol, without replying. When she spoke, it was
not in answer to the question, Sallie, who's this man
Carlyle over in England? How did Pilmore tell you about him?
He told me there was a rich fellow over in
England who was crazy about you and had asked you
to marry him, and that you had turned him down.
(25:33):
Sallie's momentary annoyance faded. She could hardly, she felt, have
expected Fillmore to refrain from mentioning the matter to his wife. Yes,
she said, that's true. You couldn't write and say you've
changed your mind. Sallie's annoyance returned. All her life she
had been intensely independent, resentful of interference with her private concerns.
(25:58):
I suppose I could if I had, but I haven't.
Did Philmore tell you to try to talk me round?
Oh I'm not trying to talk you round, said missus
Fillmore quickly. Goodness knows. I'm the last person to try
and jolly any one into marrying anybody if they didn't
feel like it. I've seen too many marriages go wrong
to do that. Look at Elsa Doland. Sallie's heart jumped,
(26:20):
as if an exposed nerve had been touched Elsa. She
stammered and hated herself because her voice shook. Has Has
her marriage gone wrong? Gone all to bits? Said missus
Fillmore shortly. You remember she married Gerald Foster, the man
who wrote The Primrose Way. Sallie, with an effort, repressed
(26:43):
an hysterical laugh. Yes, I remember, she said, Well it's
gone all blooey. I'll tell you about that in a minute.
Coming back to this man in England. If you're in
any doubt about it, I mean you can't always tell
right away whether you're fond of a man or not.
When first I met Philmore, I couldn't see him with
a spyglass, and now he's just the whole shooting match.
(27:04):
But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I
was saying, one doesn't always know one's own mind at first.
And if this fellow really is a good fellow, and
Fillmore tells me he's got all the money in the world,
Sallie stopped her. No, it's no good. I don't want
to marry mister Carlyle. That's that, then, said Missus Fillmore.
(27:26):
It's a pity, though, Why are you taking it so
much to heart, said Sallie with a nervous laugh. Well,
Missus Fillmore, paused, Sallie's anxiety was growing. It must, she realized,
be something very serious. Indeed that had happened if it
had the power to make her forthright. Sister in law,
disjointed in her talk, you see, went on Missus Fillmore,
(27:50):
and stopped again. Gee, I'm hating this, she murmured, What
is it? I don't understand. You'll find it's all too
darned clear by the time I'm through, said missus Fillmore mournfully.
If I'm going to explain this thing, I guess i'd
best start at the beginning. You remember that review of Fillmore's,
the one we both begged him not to put on.
(28:12):
It flopped, Oh yes, it flopped on the road and
died there. Never got to New York at all. Ike
Schumann wouldn't let Fillmore have a theater. The book wanted fixing,
and the numbers wanted fixing, and the scenery wasn't right.
And while they were tinkering with all that, there was
trouble about the cast and the actors. Equity closed the show.
(28:32):
Best thing that could have happened, really, And I was
glad at the time, because going on with it would
only have meant wasting more money, and it had cost
a fortune already. After that, Phillmore put on a play
of Gerald Foster's and that was a frost too. It
ran a week at the booth. I hear the new
piece he's got in rehearsal now is no good either.
It's called the wild Rose or something, But Phillmore's got
(28:55):
nothing to do with that. But Sallly tried to speak,
but miss as Fillmore went on, don't talk just yet.
Or I shall never get this thing straight. Well, you
know fillmore, poor darling. Any one else would have pulled
in his horns and gone slow for a spell. But
he's one of those fellows whose horse is always going
to win the next race. The big killing is always
(29:16):
just round the corner with him. Funny how you can
see what a chump a man is and yet love
him to death. I remember saying something like that to
you before. He thought he could get it all back
by staging this fight of his that came off in
Jersey City last night. And if everything had gone right,
he might have got afloat again. But it seems as
if he can't touch anything without it turning to mud.
(29:38):
On the very day before the fight was to come off,
the poor mutt, who is going against the champion, goes
and lets a sparring partner of his own knock him
down and fool around with him. With all the newspaper
men there too. You probably saw about it in the papers.
It made a great story for them. Well, that killed
the whole thing. The public had never been any too
sure that this fellow bugs Butler had a chance of
(30:00):
up a scrap with the champion. That would be worth
paying to see. And when they read that he couldn't
even stop his sparring partner slamming him all around the place,
they simply decided to stay away. Poor old Phil, it
was a finisher for him. The house wasn't a quarter full,
and after he'd paid those two plug uglies their guarantees,
which they insisted on having before they'd so much as
(30:21):
go into the ring, he was just about cleaned out.
So there you are. Sallie had listened with dismay to
this catalog of misfortunes. Oh poor Phil, she cried, how dreadful,
pretty tough. But the Primrose Way is a big success,
isn't it, said Sallie, anxious to discover something of brightness
(30:41):
in the situation. It was missus Fillmore flushed again. This
is the part I hate having to tell you it was.
Do you mean it isn't still? I thought Elsa had
made such a tremendous hit. I read about it when
I was over in London. It was even in one
of the England Yes, she made a hit, all right,
(31:03):
said missus Fillmore dryly. She made such a hit that
all the other managements in New York were after her
right away. And Fillmore had hardly sailed when she handed
in her notice and signed up with Goble and Cone
for a new piece there starring her in Ah. She couldn't,
cried Sallie, my dear, she did. She's out on the
(31:24):
road with it now. I had to break the news
to poor old Fillmore at the dock when he landed.
It was rather a blow, I must say. It wasn't
what I would call playing the game. I know there
isn't supposed to be any sentiment in business, but after all,
we had given Elsa her big chance. But Fillmore wouldn't
put her name up over the theater in e Electrics,
and Goble and Cone made it a clause in her
(31:46):
contract that they would, so nothing else mattered. People are
like that, but Elsa, she used not to be like that.
They all get that way. They must grab success if
it's to be I suppose you can't blame them. You
might just as well expect a cat to keep off catnip. Still,
she might have waited to the end of the New
(32:08):
York run. Missus Fillmore put out her hand and touched Sallie's. Well,
I've got it out now, she said, and believe me
it was one rotten job. You don't know how sorry
I am, Sallie. I wouldn't have had it happen for
a million dollars, nor would fillmore. I'm not sure that
I'd blame him for getting cold feet and backing out
of telling you himself. He just hadn't the nerve to
(32:30):
come and confess that he had fooled away your money.
He was hoping all along that this fight would pan
out big and that he'd be able to pay you
back what you had loaned him. But things didn't happen right.
Sallie was silent. She was thinking how strange it was
that this room in which she had hoped to be
so happy had been, from the first moment of her occupancy,
(32:51):
a storm center of bad news and miserable disillusionment. In
this first shock of the tidings, it was the disillusionment
that hurt most. She had always been so fond of Elsa,
and Elsa had always seemed so fond of her. She
remembered that letter of Elsa's, with all its protestations of gratitude.
It wasn't straight. It was horrible, callous, selfish, altogether horrible.
(33:17):
It's she choked as a rush of indignation brought the
tears to her eyes. It's beastly, I'm I'm not thinking
about my money. That's just bad luck. But Elsa, Missus Fillmore,
shrugged her square shoulders. Well, it's happening all the time
in the show business, she said, and in every other
(33:38):
business too. I guess if one only knew enough about
them to be able to say. Of course, it hits
you hard, because Elsa was a pal of yours, and
your thinking she might have considered you after all you'd
done for her. I can't say I'm much surprised myself.
Missus Fillmore was talking rapidly and dimly. Sally understood that
she was talking so that talk would carry her over
(33:59):
This bad mum silence now would have been unendurable. I
was in the company with her, and it sometimes seems
to me as if you can't get to know a
person right through till you've been in the same company
with them. Elsa's all right, but she's two people, really
like these dual identity cases you read about. She's awfully
fond of you. I know she is. She was always
(34:20):
saying so, and it was quite genuine. If it didn't
interfere with business. There's nothing she wouldn't do for you.
But when it's a case of her career, you don't count.
Nobody counts, not even her husband. Now that's funny if
you think that sort of thing funny personally, it gives
me the willies. What's funny, asked Sally Dully. Well, you
(34:42):
weren't there, so you didn't see it. But I was
on the spot all the time, and I know as
well as I know anything that he simply married her
because he thought she could get him on in the game.
He hardly paid any attention to her at all till
she was such a riot in Chicago, and then he
was all over her. And now he's got stung. She
throws down his show and goes off to another fellow's.
It's like marrying for money and finding the girl hasn't
(35:04):
any And she's got stung too, in a way, because
I'm pretty sure she married him mostly because she thought
he was going to be the next big man in
the play riding business and could boost her up the ladder.
And now it doesn't look as though he had another
success in him. The result is there at outs I
hear he's drinking somebody who had seen him told me
he had gone all to pieces. You haven't seen him,
(35:26):
I suppose no. I thought maybe you might have run
into him. He lives right opposite Sally, clutched at the
arm of her chair, lives right opposite Gerald Foster. What
do you mean across the passage there, said missus Fillmore,
jerking her thumb at the door. Didn't you know? That's right?
(35:48):
I suppose you didn't. They moved in after you had
beaten it for England. Elsa wanted to be near you,
and she was tickled to death when she found there
was an apartment to be had right across from you. Now,
that just proves what I was saying a while ago
about Elsa. If she wasn't fond of you, would she
go out of her way to camp next door? And
yet though she's so fond of you, she doesn't hesitate
(36:09):
about wrecking your property by quitting the show, and she
sees a chance of doing herself a bit of good.
It's funny, isn't it. The telephone bell tinkling sharply rescued
Sallie from the necessity of a reply. She forced herself
across the room to answer it. Hullo. Ginger's voice spoke jubilantly, hullo,
(36:30):
are you there? I say, it's all right about that
binge you know. Oh, yes, that dog fellow you know,
said Ginger with a slight diminution of exuberance. His sensitive
ear had seemed to detect a lack of animation in
her voice. I've just been talking to him over the phone,
and it's all settled, if he added, with a touch
(36:52):
of doubt, you still feel like going into it. I mean,
there was an instant in which Sallie hesitated, but it
was only an instant. Why, of course, she said steadily.
Why should you think I had changed my mind? Well,
I thought, that is to say, you seemed, oh, I
don't know, you imagine things. I was a little worried
(37:15):
about something when you called me up, and my mind
wasn't working properly. Of course, go ahead with it, Ginger,
I'm delighted. I say, I'm awfully sorry you're worried. Oh
it's all right. Something bad, nothing that'll kill me. I'm
young and strong. Ginger was silent for a moment. I say,
(37:38):
I don't want to butt in, but can I do anything? No, really, Ginger,
I know you would do anything you could, but this
is just something I must worry through by myself. When
do you go down to this place? I was thinking
of popping down this afternoon just to take a look round.
Let me know what train you're making, and I'll come
and see you off. That's rippy of you, right ho, well,
(38:01):
so long, so long, said Sallie. Missus. Fillmore, who had
been sitting in that state of suspended animation which comes
upon people who are present at a telephone conversation which
has nothing to do with themselves, came to life as
Sallie replaced the receiver. Sallie, she said, I think we
ought to have a talk now about what you're going
(38:22):
to do. Sallie was not feeling equal to any discussion
of the future. All she asked of the world at
the moment was to be left alone. Oh that's all right,
I shall manage. You ought to be worrying about Fillmore.
Fillmore's got me to look after him, said Gladys with
quiet determination. You're the one that's on my mind. I
(38:44):
lay awake all last night thinking about you. As far
as I can make out from Fillmore, You've still a
few thousand dollars left. Well, as it happens, I can
put you on to a really good thing. I know
a girl I'm afraid, interrupted Sallie. All the of my money,
what there is of it, is tied up. You can't
get hold of it. No, but listen, said missus Fillmore urgently.
(39:10):
This is a really good thing. This girl I know
started an interior decorating business some time ago and is
pulling in money in handfuls. But she wants more capital,
and she's willing to let go of a third of
the business to anyone who'll put in a few thousand.
She won't have any difficulty getting it. But I phoned
her this morning to hold off till I'd hurt from you. Honestly, Sally,
(39:30):
it's the chance of a lifetime. It would put you
right on easy street. Isn't there really any way you
could get your money out of this other thing and
take on this deal? There really isn't. I'm awfully obliged
to you, gladys dear, but it's impossible, well, said missus Fillmore,
prodding the carpet energetically with her parasol. I don't know
(39:50):
what you've gone into, but unless they've given you a share,
in the mint or something. You'll be losing by not
making the switch. You're sure you can't do it? I
really can't, Missus Fillmore rose plainly disappointed. Well you know best,
of course. Gosh, what a muddle everything is, Sallie, she said, suddenly,
(40:12):
stopping at the door. You're not going to hate poor
old Phillmore over this, are you? Why? Of course not.
The whole thing was just bad luck. He's worried stiff
about it. Well, give him my love and tell him
not to be so silly. Missus Fillmore crossed the room
and kissed Sallie impulsively. You're an angel, she said. I
(40:34):
wish there were more like you, but I guess they've
lost the pattern. Well, I'll go back and tell Fillmore
that it'll relieve him. The door closed, and Sallie sat
down with her chin in her hands to think. Three.
Mister Isidore Abrahams, the founder and proprietor of that deservedly
(40:58):
popular dancing resort poet named the Flower Garden, leaned back
in his chair with a contented sigh, and laid down
the knife and fork with which he had been assailing
a plateful of succulent gulash he was dining, as was
his admirable custom, in the bosom of his family at
his residence at far Rockaway. Across the table, his wife
(41:19):
Rebecca beamed at him over her comfortable plinth of chins,
and round the table. His children, David, Jacob, Morris and
Sadie would have beamed at him if they had not
been too busy at the moment ingurgitating goulash. A genial, honest,
domestic man was mister Abrahams. A credit to the community, mother,
(41:42):
he said, PA, said, missus Abrahams knew there was something
I'd meant to tell you, said mister Abrahams, absently chasing
a piece of bread round his plate with a stout finger.
You remember that girl I told you about some time back,
girl working at the garden, girl called Nicholas, who came
into a bit of money and threw up her job.
(42:03):
I remember you liked her, Jakie, dear, don't gobble, ain't gobbling,
said Master Abrahams. Everybody liked her, said mister Abrahams. The
nicest girl I ever hired. And I don't hire none
but nice girls, because the garden's a nice place and
I like to run it nice. I wouldn't give you
a nickel for any of your tough joints, where you
get nothing but low lifes and scare away all the
(42:26):
real folks. Everybody liked Sally Nicholas, always pleasant and always smiling,
and never anything but the lady. It was a tree
to have her around. Well, what do you think dead,
inquired missus Abrahams, apprehensively. The story had sounded to her
as though it were heading that way. Wipe your mouth, Jackie, dear. No,
(42:47):
not dead, said mister Abrahams, conscious for the first time
that the remainder of his narrative might be considered by
a critic something of an anticlimax and lacking in drama.
But she was in to see me this afternoon and
wants her job back, ah, said missus Abrahams, rather tonelessly.
An ardent supporter of the local Motion picture Palace, she
(43:09):
had hoped for a slightly more gingery denu Mott, something
with a bit more punch. Yes, but don't it show you,
continued mister Abrahams, gallantly, trying to work up the interest.
There's this girl goes out of my place not more'n
a year ago, with a good bank roll in her pocket,
and here she is back again, all of it's spent.
Don't it show you what a tragedy life is? If
(43:31):
you see what I mean and how careful one ought
to be about money. It's what I call a human document.
Goodness knows how she's been and gone and spent it all.
I'd never have thought she was the sort of girl
to go gadding around. Always seemed to me to be
kind of sensible. What's gadding? Pop? Asked Master Jackie the Gulash,
having ceased to chain his interest. Well, she wanted her
(43:54):
job back, and I gave it to her, and glad
to get her back again. There's class to that girl.
She's the sort of girl I want in the place.
Doesn't seem quite to have so much get up in
her as she used to. Seems kind of quieted down.
But she's got class and I'm glad she's back. I
hope she'll stay. But don't it show you? Ah, said
missus Abrahams with more enthusiasm than before. It had not
(44:17):
worked out such a bad story, after all. In its essentials,
it was not unlike the film she had seen the
previous evening, Gloria Gooch in A Girl Against the world pop,
said Master Abrahams. Yes, Jackie, when I'm grown up, I
won't never lose no money. I'll put it in the
bank and save it. The slight depression caused by the
(44:40):
contemplation of Sally's troubles left mister Abrahams as mist melts
beneath a sunbeam. That's a good boy, Jackie. He said.
He felt in his waistcoat pocket found a dime, put
it back again, and bent forward and patted Master Abrahams
on the head end of Chapter fourteen, read by car
(45:04):
Shallenberg on February second, two thousand nine, in San Diego, California,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com