September 22, 2025 • 34 mins
Anita’s journey is a powerful testament to the extraordinary resilience of single mothers everywhere. Her story proves that the same grit, discipline, and unwavering love that defines motherhood can forge a career of unparalleled leadership.
For 30 years, Anita served as an Enlisted Soldier in the U.S. Army, a true force for positive change who inspired and led teams to success. While she was a Station Commander or a Recruiter building strong community ties, she was also managing the most important operation of all: being a single mom of two.
Her ability to maintain accountability for millions of dollars in equipment mirrors the daily budget management and family scheduling so many single mothers master. The innovative training programs she implemented for soldiers are the same kind of creative problem-solving skills a mother uses to navigate life’s unexpected challenges. Her service as a MEPS Guidance Counselor and at the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks highlights her unique blend of empathy and discipline—the ultimate superpower of any parent juggling career and family.
Anita's career path, from starting as a cook in the Army Reserve to retiring as an E8, is a beacon of hope. It’s a story of rising from humble beginnings through sheer determination, a narrative that will resonate with every mother who has ever felt their hard work goes unseen.
Her journey is not just a professional one; it's a testament to the fact that you can travel the world, build an inspiring career, and lead with compassion, all while being a dedicated mom.
Ash Brown: Your Ultimate Guide to Inspiration, Empowerment, and Action
Are you searching for a dynamic motivational speaker, an authentic podcaster, or an influential media personality who can ignite your passion for personal growth? Look no further than Ash Brown. This American multi-talented powerhouse is a captivating event host, an insightful blogger, and a dedicated advocate for helping people unlock their full potential. With her infectious optimism and genuine desire to empower others, Ash Brown has become a leading voice in the personal development and motivation space.
Discover the World of Ash Brown: AshSaidit.com & The Ash Said It Show
AshSaidit.com: A vibrant lifestyle blog and event platform, AshSaidit.com is your gateway to Ash's world. Here you'll find exclusive event invitations, honest product reviews, and a wealth of engaging content designed to inform and inspire. It's the perfect online destination to stay connected and get your daily dose of Ash's unique personality and insights.
The Ash Said It Show: With over 2,100 episodes and over half a million global listens, "The Ash Said It Show" is a powerful and popular podcast. Ash engages in meaningful conversations with inspiring guests, diving into topics that truly matter. Listeners gain valuable life lessons, encouragement, and practical advice to help them navigate their own journeys.
Why Ash Brown is a Leading Voice in Personal Development
What truly distinguishes Ash Brown is her authentic and relatable approach to personal growth. She builds a genuine connection with her audience, offering practical advice and encouragement that feels like a conversation with a trusted friend. Ash doesn't shy away from life's challenges; instead, she provides the tools to tackle them head-on with confidence.
Authentic Optimism: Ash's positive energy is contagious, empowering her audience to embrace new challenges with a more capable and hopeful mindset.
Relatable Advice: Ash offers unfiltered, real-world guidance that resonates with people from all backgrounds. Her understanding that life can be tough makes her advice both honest and deeply encouraging.
Actionable Strategies: Beyond just feeling good, Ash provides practical tips and strategies designed to help you turn your aspirations into tangible results.
For a consistent source of inspiration, genuine encouragement, and actionable advice, Ash Brown is your ultimate resource. Her incredible positivity and unwavering dedication to helping others make her the ideal guide for maximizing your life's potential.
Connect with Ash Brown:
Goli Gummy Discounts: https://go.goli.com/1loveash5
Luxury Handbag Discounts: https://www.theofficialathena....
Review Us: https://itunes.apple.com/us/po...
Subscribe on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/c/AshSa...
Inst
For 30 years, Anita served as an Enlisted Soldier in the U.S. Army, a true force for positive change who inspired and led teams to success. While she was a Station Commander or a Recruiter building strong community ties, she was also managing the most important operation of all: being a single mom of two.
Her ability to maintain accountability for millions of dollars in equipment mirrors the daily budget management and family scheduling so many single mothers master. The innovative training programs she implemented for soldiers are the same kind of creative problem-solving skills a mother uses to navigate life’s unexpected challenges. Her service as a MEPS Guidance Counselor and at the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks highlights her unique blend of empathy and discipline—the ultimate superpower of any parent juggling career and family.
Anita's career path, from starting as a cook in the Army Reserve to retiring as an E8, is a beacon of hope. It’s a story of rising from humble beginnings through sheer determination, a narrative that will resonate with every mother who has ever felt their hard work goes unseen.
Her journey is not just a professional one; it's a testament to the fact that you can travel the world, build an inspiring career, and lead with compassion, all while being a dedicated mom.
Ash Brown: Your Ultimate Guide to Inspiration, Empowerment, and Action
Are you searching for a dynamic motivational speaker, an authentic podcaster, or an influential media personality who can ignite your passion for personal growth? Look no further than Ash Brown. This American multi-talented powerhouse is a captivating event host, an insightful blogger, and a dedicated advocate for helping people unlock their full potential. With her infectious optimism and genuine desire to empower others, Ash Brown has become a leading voice in the personal development and motivation space.
Discover the World of Ash Brown: AshSaidit.com & The Ash Said It Show
AshSaidit.com: A vibrant lifestyle blog and event platform, AshSaidit.com is your gateway to Ash's world. Here you'll find exclusive event invitations, honest product reviews, and a wealth of engaging content designed to inform and inspire. It's the perfect online destination to stay connected and get your daily dose of Ash's unique personality and insights.
The Ash Said It Show: With over 2,100 episodes and over half a million global listens, "The Ash Said It Show" is a powerful and popular podcast. Ash engages in meaningful conversations with inspiring guests, diving into topics that truly matter. Listeners gain valuable life lessons, encouragement, and practical advice to help them navigate their own journeys.
Why Ash Brown is a Leading Voice in Personal Development
What truly distinguishes Ash Brown is her authentic and relatable approach to personal growth. She builds a genuine connection with her audience, offering practical advice and encouragement that feels like a conversation with a trusted friend. Ash doesn't shy away from life's challenges; instead, she provides the tools to tackle them head-on with confidence.
Authentic Optimism: Ash's positive energy is contagious, empowering her audience to embrace new challenges with a more capable and hopeful mindset.
Relatable Advice: Ash offers unfiltered, real-world guidance that resonates with people from all backgrounds. Her understanding that life can be tough makes her advice both honest and deeply encouraging.
Actionable Strategies: Beyond just feeling good, Ash provides practical tips and strategies designed to help you turn your aspirations into tangible results.
For a consistent source of inspiration, genuine encouragement, and actionable advice, Ash Brown is your ultimate resource. Her incredible positivity and unwavering dedication to helping others make her the ideal guide for maximizing your life's potential.
Connect with Ash Brown:
Goli Gummy Discounts: https://go.goli.com/1loveash5
Luxury Handbag Discounts: https://www.theofficialathena....
Review Us: https://itunes.apple.com/us/po...
Subscribe on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/c/AshSa...
Inst
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
None of those n be Sunday one. It is the girl,
the one and only Ash Brown, and this is the
Ash said It show. Over twenty one hundred episode since
twenty fourteen, half a million streams around the world. None
of this is.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Possible without you, guys, So thank you so much for
your love, your support, the shares, the cares. It makes
a huge difference. Today is a very special episode.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
We're featuring someone today that I may have touched on
I don't know well within those twenty one hundred episodes,
but this person was absolutely very impactful in my life,
in my transition into the military, and this was one
of my recruiters. So today we invite the wonderful Anita
(00:56):
to join us today. Hi Anita, Hi Ashley, how are
you doing today? You know what pretty good good? That's
a blessing. That is a blessing.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Now a lot of people know if you guys have
been paying attention to the show, this show in particular,
I had.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
No plans on doing. I had no plans on re
entering the world of radio audio shows and all those things.
So when I started this show, I was in the
midst of my grief. Anita and I connected because she
was my recruiter. She was the I want to say,
the third stop. This was the third recruiting station that
(01:37):
I had actually stopped in, and the two previous ones
kind of blew me off, kind of weren't taking me serious.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
But I had a mission. I was going to join
the army. I was going to get my stuff set up.
And if this one wasn't going to help me, guess what,
there are several other stations I can go to. And
when I met Anita at the station, she checked out
my credentials and stuff, she looked at what my waiting
things were. So wait is always has been a challenge
(02:05):
for your girl for years and years, as most people
it is. It's always a challenge. And so she didn't
blow me off. I first off, I didn't even know
you were the station commander, So we'll start off with that.
I had no idea because a lot of the other
stations that I had been to, the station commander either
wasn't there or they weren't talking to potential recruits. You
(02:28):
were there out on the floor, blended in with everybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And you told me, look, you get to this way,
then we can cook with grease we can get this
stuff set up. And so did that, and I actually
went out and was trained with you first thing in
the morning. We would meet outside before the sun came up, y'all,
(02:49):
before the yeah, yeah, chicken out.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I took a lot from you and that Anita,
and I really appreciate all of the efforts, everything that
you helped you did to help pour into me and
help me through that journey. And so I know so
much about you and so much about your career that
I felt that it was very impactful for us to
(03:13):
discuss how did things start with you are a reservist,
you were a cook, and then you had opportunities to
travel the world. Yeah, but it wasn't without struggles, challenges,
balancing life and all those different things. To start off
at the top, starting out as a cook and rising
(03:37):
to the rank of E eight is an astronomically large,
incredible journey. Can you walk us through the moment that
you decided that you wanted to pursue a career in
the army? Yeah, of course. Well, first of all, Ashley,
you know, I gotta say you and I we have
we've been friends for a very long time together, and
(04:01):
did developed into a beautiful friendship, sisterhood. So and thank
you for having me on your show. It just it
feels like, you know, you and I talk so all then,
and it's like, wow, we're really doing this, But okay,
I like it. First of all, I say again, thank
you for having me here. How my career all started
well at the age of seventeen. Well, first of all,
(04:23):
let me say I know even before the age of
seventeen that all I ever wanted to be was an
army girl. It was just then I did the ROTC
thing for three years. My parents decided to move and
relocate their family from Georgia, you know, born and raised
in Georgia, and we relocated to Illinois suburbs of the
(04:45):
you know, Chicago. The girls there in that school, they
were so cruel and mean towards me. One day after
school was the age of seventeen. I just after school,
instead of walking home like I normally would, I decided
I'm going to the nearest recruiting center, walked into the
recruiting station, talked to a recruiter. Of course, I was
seventeen years old, so mom and dad was gonna have
(05:07):
to sign. They would have to consent and afterwards, you know,
my recruiter. We shared it with my parents told me
Dad was not a fan at all, God risk his soul.
Mom was on board with whatever you want to do,
we're going to support. So she helped my dad to
get to that point and started as a reservist in
(05:28):
the army. And I want to say this, this is
very important. I failed the test, the ASPAP, that's the
test that you take. I felt at the very first time.
I mean, I was always a mediocre girl. It's like
I don't need to study. I just need to do
enough just to just get by. And once I felt that,
it kind of it crushed my ego, even at the
(05:48):
age of seventeen. So I did a little study in
second time. Around thirty days later, the earliest opportunity to
take it again, I took it and I passed it.
But I only had my three childs that they offered me,
and I remember it being I believe it was some
type of mechanic cook and I forget the third one,
but I said, you know what, I don't know how
(06:10):
to cook, but don't teach me. So yeah, I selected cook,
did the reserve thing for three years and eight months,
got with this guy, and he was just not a
nice guy to me. And I remember requesting to go
be released from a reserve to enter into you know,
active duty. I was allowed to do that, and so
(06:32):
my career on active duty started, and it began in
nineteen ninety. December of nineteen ninety, I went on off
to Germany, which was my first assignment on active duty,
just started moving up through the ring, figuring out what
it was. At first, I really didn't take it seriously. Honestly,
(06:52):
I just was like, you know, I just need a
quick gig to get away from this dude. And then
I got pregnant with my daughter. Now I have two
had one child, I have two children responsible for, and
you know, the years went by and I just started
maturing and made sure. One of the key things I
did was I made sure I kept my hands in
God's hand, or maybe it was him that made sure
(07:13):
I didn't. Let's just keep it real. I don't think
I had a whole lot of control over that, but
that wasn't definitely. You know, my dad was a pastor,
mom was a banker, and so I definitely knew who
God was, who Jesus is, and just wanted to stay
with him so throughout my career. I at first, I
just I just really wasn't serious about it. I just wasn't.
(07:35):
But I had some good leaders I had some bad leadership,
And honestly, I feel like the bad leadership was just
as important and vital to a successful career as the
good leadership was. You know, I needed that just as
much as I needed good, because then I knew what
it felt like being on that side of the track.
(07:55):
And I don't want to be I don't want to
make anyone feel the way this person's made me feel
and they're leader in charge of me. But anyway, I
think I really I do recall when I really got
serious about being a sociate the military, and I was
about eight years in, had just gotten station at Fort
Leavenworth dB Disciplinary bears, the disciplinary parents just what you know,
(08:19):
it's suf explanatory is pretty much. It's the prison where
all branches where they go. It's like the only maximum
security prison. Again it said Fort Livenworth, Kansas, And I
remember there I was getting ready to reenlist, and I
remember praying to God and saying, I don't think I
want to keep doing this. I just really need to
you know, we always tend to think the grass is
(08:40):
green on the other side. However, when I would get
a break going leave, which civilians know to be vacation time,
I would tell my mom, God knows blessed that woman's heart,
complained about the army to her, to my mom every opportunity,
and she would just work on me. I need to
stay where you're at. You're doing good. And I remember
(09:00):
thinking that, you know what, I'm just going to let
it go. If I make it to that team, your mark,
there's no turning back. Not only at eight years in
right now, I prayed about it, and there's some things happened.
I just decided, you know what, I'm all in and
that's really when I became serious, just flit up serious
about eight years and to the gay right. Eight years
(09:21):
was like the mark for you as far as like
getting situated and really understanding planning your next move essentially
with your career. How did you find balance within the
demands of this high pressure career and also being a
single mom. Oh gosh, girl, that it was so challenging, Ashley.
(09:41):
When I think about when I think back to that now,
it's like I feel myself trying to fight back tears
because you know, you look back and you revisit those times.
It's not a bad thing. But it's like I just
knew it wasn't all me. It just wasn't it was
my face. I'm a huge being still when you don't
(10:02):
know what to do, that's my natrum. That's my goal
to just being still. I don't like acting on emotion.
I try to kind of steer clear of that. It
was girl. It was times with even a single mom,
and the money was good, it wasn't bad, and the
benefits I kind of thought about often things that I
(10:22):
was blessed with, like my kids. I wanted them to
have the lifestyle and the quality of life that my
parents provided for their children to us, me and my
siblings and not knocking anyone, but I didn't want to
be on anyone's system. I just I didn't want to
be in the system. On the system. I don't want
to do any of that. I knew I needed to
(10:43):
provide medical, dental, vision, all of that to them. I
wanted to give them a good opportunity to get out
there and be productive citizens of society. I had to
do it, and neither one of the dads were in
their life. I mean my daughter's father. He was one
of those older phone type dads. Hey be good, how
you doing. I loved your baby. God rest his soul.
(11:03):
But it's true. And so, you know what, I focused
a lot on again my faith. I stayed in church somewhere.
I surrounded myself with positive people. Something my oldest brother
who was in the Air Force, had shared it with
me to do, and I took it one day at
a time, and you know what, I actually started really
enjoying it. It was all about mindset. The challenges that
(11:26):
I had at once they were no longer challenges. I
had overcome them. I was kind of looking for the
next one, like this, all you got, what's the next thing?
I started challenging myself. You know, I was really good
staying in shape physically, but you know what you need
that you need to be there as well mentally and
(11:47):
emotionally and financially. And once I kind of figured that
part out, it just I just really started enjoying it.
I remember telling people I am all armed. If you
cut me, I bleed arm. Well, now I say that
you don't cut me, and I don't bleed on me,
you know, I mean there's just so much that the
(12:07):
military can offer a person that's willing to open their
minds and just see it for what it is and
just know that the challenges they don't last, they don't
last all ways. They're gonna come and they're gonna go.
It's just all about how you decide to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Now, the army has historically been a male dominated institution.
I mean that's no surprise, there's no secret. We're always used.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
To seeing like historically they're gonna put a man up
front with everything. Now, for you, what were some of
the most significant challenges that you faced as a woman
as you were moving up those ranks? Just what you
said being a woman, And I'm gonna tell you this
as well, keeping yourself attractive, I mean it brings on
(12:57):
unwanted attention. I don't know why some men think because
you are putting in the work to keep yourself looking
good for yourself, now, not for them, but they take
it as you want them. You're doing that for them.
And here's the thing. You cannot put yourself in a
(13:18):
situation where you're not gonna be able to control the outcome.
So things I never did, girl, I did not I
steer clear of people who you know. You sit back
and you kind of figure out who's who. I don't
care what's coming from their mouth. If your actions do
not line up with what you're saying, you're done. I'm
(13:41):
not gonna tell you that. I'm gonna show you that.
You come across a lot of females girl that confining
you and tell you they were raped. No, And I
just didn't think that kind of stuff went on. And
a lot of times they don't even they don't share
with anyone because they are victims in their own head.
It's like they prompt this on themselves or they're ashamed
whatever the case is. Now. Sexual harassment, Oh, I got that.
(14:05):
Guys that would like peer I get it. That's what
they think they can do. You can straight check up jokers,
you know. But when you're getting it from your superiors
or your false is false, that will kind of a mess,
that'll mess with your head. I was grateful that. I
don't know how it came about knowing this, but I
(14:27):
kind of knew what to do and what not to do,
what to say and what not to say. And here's
the thing, definitely, don't don't tell it to anybody if
you don't want it to be told to somebody else.
Those certain things I just kept to myself once I
knew what the person was thinking. And now I'm gonna
tell you sometimes it's not always a man, sometimes a woman.
(14:49):
I never got it. I was never a drinker. I
never got into drinking. I definitely never did drugs, because
you know, you get all of that there, especially the alcohol,
especially when you' are definitely overseas, like in career in Germany,
that was a real big thing for soldiers to do
and I never did that. I just again my faith.
(15:10):
I stayed in church. I was always at the chapel
or taking a college course, working towards that degree. And
I just tried to stay with good, good company, you know,
other females, peers who kind of had to who shared
the same mindset as I did. And of course without
aging you, Anita, you got thirty plus years in the army.
(15:33):
That that is incredible. Yeah, that's an incredible just accomplishment
because a lot of people, as I'm sure that you
know a lot of people that you started with pride
and in with you. Oh yeah, the majority of them.
Did you know you enlisted into the reserves. So you
understand THEPS ceremony when they do the swearing in. You know,
(15:53):
I'm sure to this day still they tell the recruits
and their family members who are there to support that
support them, that one percent of the population joins the military.
And here's the thing, there's a very small percentage. It's
I think the last I was told lest I heard
it was like it was less than seventy it was
(16:14):
less than twenty percent of people who joined actually retired.
So of all the girls that I served with, in
some of the ones that I still keep in contact,
oh no, there's only a few of us that retire.
I mean, I'm grateful the fact that they even served.
Just like yourself. Hey, you know, everybody's story is just
(16:37):
not going to look alike. It's not going to look
the same. So that was just my journey, and I
was just glad that I would. I knew early on
that was the path I was to take. So for
you starting off as a could retiring e eight what
And I know that there were so many different things
that happened in the span of time as during your career,
(17:00):
but can you share maybe a time or an experience
that really warmed your heart, something that you look back
on and you're like, wow, I am so thankful that
I was a part of this or or being able
to witness that. Well, I guess mine's going to be
on a personal level if I could something that personally happened. God,
(17:23):
and you know, whatsh this is. So I don't believe
in quest of this is life at this point, I
just don't. I believe in fate and hey, but just before,
just early today, I was sitting down in my home
office at my desk and I'm going back over some
photos and I think earlier I shared some with you,
like you know, some things from back in the past.
(17:43):
But anyway, it's funny you asked this question. I didn't
know you were going to ask this, but I was
looking at I didn't open the video because it's just
gonna have me booming all over the place. But so,
when I became a first sergeant over recruiting company, I
had a company of forty and so I was on
(18:06):
that assignment that toured for. It was a two year assignment, right,
and so when I was coming out of that position,
we have a change of responsibility ceremony that takes place
and then I'm the outgoing first or in the incoming,
so you know, it's just ceremony and blah blah blah.
And so I had and I know I had some
(18:29):
guys that really like I had one one soldier that
had been on me for like fourteen years and he
got out And before you got out, he told me
that he just didn't want to work for a female.
And I couldn't believe this guy's going to walk away
from his career. It's like, Wow, you're gonna have that.
You're going to allow somebody. I didn't take it personally,
but you canna allow someone to change the way you
(18:50):
feed your family is pretty deep. So anyway, what can
you do? I tried talking with him and helping him
to see a big picture, but you know it was
just to no avail. Well, I went on and I
marched on, and come to end, it's time to do
this ceremony, and I got choked up when it was
(19:11):
my turn too, is outgoing first sergeant to speak? Girl?
I bawled. I bawled. I tried my heart to keep
those tears back, but I couldn't. So anyway, and I
finally got done with that at the end of the ceremony,
and then you know, it was time for me. You know,
we all, you know, we break some bread together. And
I gone to the bathroom before we before I sat
(19:34):
down to eat, because I had to clean up my face.
And girl, when I came out of the women's room,
there are two soldiers. And let me tell you this.
They were white male soldiers and they both had come
from line units where it once upon a time females
weren't allowed in those units when they starved. Well, they
(19:54):
were on recruiting duty now. And girl, when I tell you,
they both were waiting for me, and they asked me
because they speak to me. And girl, when I looked
in their eyes, they their eyes looked like mine. I
just looked at mines in the mirror read and they
were kind of like puffy. And they shared with me
(20:14):
that their story was they did not want to work
for me, or work under me, or be in a
company with a female leader. And one of them told
and he said, first Sergeant, I love you. He said,
in his eleven years before he came on recruiting duty,
he only had one first sergeant that he would go
(20:36):
to war back to war with, and he never had
anyone else. He said, well, you're the second one. And
he told me he never thought that he could work
for a female leader, and he told me he loved me.
And the other one, you know, his story was very,
very similar, and he said, we just had to tell you.
(20:58):
They said, we don't want to see you going. And
it was just gosh, you know, I mean, talk about
giving someone their flowers, you know, I mean that just
meant the world to me. That's when you really know
that you have truly made a difference. So it was
(21:22):
well worth it. You know. Again, it had its challenges,
and sometimes you don't always know what you never really
know what people are thinking of you, because when they
come in front of you, especially if you're a certain
type of if you're at a certain level or we're
at a certain rank, they're gonna put they're gonna play
the game, but they're gonna respect. I mean, they're gonna
(21:44):
give it to you. They got no choice. Yeah, that
was huge for me. And before then, you know, in
the fool surface world as a cook, I made it
to that a facility manager and uh, you know it's
just it's for before you leave, we do hell the farewells.
So before you leave, especially in service seats, they're gonna,
(22:08):
you know, they're gonna they're gonna honor you, and you're
gonna have break some bread, and they're gonna sometimes even
come burying gifts. And everybody gets a chance to set
up and kind of give you some words of encouragement
or just kind of some kind of mock you. You know,
you go through it all and they just tell you
what they thought of you, what you mean to them,
regardless of how great or how little. And you know,
(22:30):
I have been told before I left his guy, a
facility manager in Korea, that I was I wasn't liked,
you know, they liked me, and they consider me to
be a you know, a B word. And but one
guy followed up with, you know, you are exactly the
type of leader. I was, exactly the type of leader
that he wanted to become. But he has some growing
(22:53):
to do, you know, because here's the thing. People people
also think they don't see you when you're trying to
keep them on a straight and narrow They kind of
especially when they've had bad leadership and that's all that's
all they know, they kind of see you as a problem.
But I mean, love is love is gonna correct you.
(23:13):
When you care about somebody, you're gonna tell them what
they need to hear and not necessarily what they want
to hear. And I never cared to do it in
front of if I had to kind of reprimand someone.
It was never I needed an audience. It was just
one on one, you know, constructive criticism. And but you know,
I went through my little thing as a young soldier,
(23:34):
so I kind of you know, I didn't forget where
I where I come from, so I knew. You plant
those seeds, and you plant good seeds, and you kind
of expect another good leader along the way to kind
of water those seeds and eventually a person's gonna develop,
and they're gonna mature and they're gonna blossom into that
beautiful flower that hopefully you know you are right about now,
(23:55):
you know. And it's just as you and I say,
all and we talk over the phone, we all have
a journey, we all have a story. Anita, today, you've
been through the fire shot to sha Ka Khan.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
All right, you've been through the fire all right, through
it all, and then bad Khan. Yes, I mean who
I don't know if I can trust somebody if they
don't like Shaka Khan. I'm like, man, I don't know
if I don't think we could be cool if you're
saying something out Shaka, but you've been through.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
So much in your career and your life just as
a whole. If Anita today had the opportunity to talk
to that cute little seventeen year old with that fire
burning in her to join the army, what would you
say to her today? Oh gosh, that's a good one, Ash,
(24:43):
You know what I'm gonna be like my late fathers
told me over nineteen, you know, when talking with him
before you pass, I rest his soul. I don't have
any regrets, I really don't. But what I would tell
my younger self is you don't always have to be heard,
you don't always have to be right. You're always going
(25:04):
to be in control. Girl, shut your pie hole please,
you know, because at one point in my life always
had to have the last word. I was a sort
of meek, quiet girl growing up, and my mom often say,
you know, you was real quiet as a child, and
when you went to the military, you came back just us.
(25:24):
And so you know, I was trying to make my
marketing life, and I think I was going about it.
It really could have been the wrong way, you know
what I'm saying. It was the wrong way in so
many ways. So yeah, I would tell myself, you know,
never lose who you are. At one point, you know,
I was chasing after somebody was finessing that stuff the
(25:45):
world was selling, girl. I mean, I just was and
I thought I thought the world was where it was at,
you know, and it didn't last long. It was always
something that set me on my butt real quick pass.
But yeah, I would definitely tell my yourself, believe in you,
because there were times that I had a lot of doubt.
(26:05):
But it wasn't in God, never God, but it was
a lot of doubt of myself. It's like there was
times I was like, man, what the heck a I
doing with my life? I had doubts, Ashley. I'm grateful
for the people God plant in my life, mostly my parents,
because my mom had her way. My mom and dad
were even after thirty plus years of marriage they divorced,
(26:27):
they were pretty much telling me the same thing, just
in different ways. My dad was a little kind of
like aggressive, Hell, what the hell you doing? The hell
wrong with you? You know my mom was more of
you know, Anita. You know, honey, you don't want to
do that. You know, you don't want to get out
of the army, come back, there's nothing here. And then
you go home, and you know, folks asking you can
(26:48):
I borrowed twenty dollars, like day, he ain't got twenty dollars.
It must be recent in your world, you know what
I'm saying. So yeah, I would just go back to
what you ask. I would just say the doubt that
I do it have I kind of want to see this.
I wasted some time. I wasted time dealing with guys
that I really just really shouldn't even entertain, to be
(27:12):
honest with you, that was time that I can't get back.
So yeah, I would tell myself to hey, and don't
be imposible, Do not act in haste. If it's meant
for you, girl is not gonna miss you. I learned
that later on in life, and better late than ever.
But I feel like that's definitely an area that I
(27:33):
could have used someone a mentor to tell me, hey, girl,
it ain't worth it. But I learned, and sometimes I
learned the hard way, but I learned it. Absolutely beautiful,
beautifully put Anita, thank you so much for coming through.
Definitely appreciate you beyond words. You know you are.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You are my sister, and I appreciate you so much,
not just on just the surface level of helping me
join the army, but you are one of those quiet
voices on the sidelines as me and my family were
going through and my mom was in the hospital and
(28:16):
then she was in hospice, and you were always steadfast
there for me, and that is a huge part of
my memory during that tumultuous time, Like I it wasn't
none but God they got me through that, it wasn't
me myself. And then even going through the grieving process,
I know that you shared with me some about losing
(28:40):
your father and what that process was like for you,
and you always made you know. Thank you so much
for making yourself available to me. Like if I was
calling you just in the random middle of the day
or texting you or whatever the case is, you never
made me feel like I was a burden, and I.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Just thank you for that. You're okay, no, we don't
want to be crying.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No, but but you were just I mean, and that's
just the christ in you. And allowing that to just
just permeate and knowing how to be there for people
even if you know you maybe going through some personal
stuff yourself. You stepped outside of that and you were
there for me and my family and I will never
forget that. And I just said, thank you. That's all
(29:31):
I can say.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, I want to share this. We got a couple
more minutes because I understand about you. Because girl, let
me tell you you you have such a sweet soul, Ashley,
and you're so jim told and you really make it
easy people like you. You make it so easy. I
mean for you to be so transparent and share with others,
(30:00):
saw of the pain that you were feeling. You know,
I remember, I remember we were going to the hospital,
and you know my greed behind the girls get something
and this Ms Donald got rid of her soul. Just
a beautiful, beautiful you had the most beautiful Your face
(30:20):
was lawlessless. Yes, you know it's like no, I'm like
Dan girls, just beautiful, beautiful teeth. I still see her
right now. But I have so much respect for you.
(30:40):
I admire you girl. Your mother, as you just said,
had she was admitted to housepice And for you to steal.
I remember to this day like it was yesterday, Ashley,
where I'm talking to you. I think we're driving a
government vehicle. Head, put a stay here, I'm taking you
wherever home. A whole it was because we're not supposed
(31:01):
to go anywhere else in that vehicle right to these places.
But anyway, it was official government business. Let's put that
out there. But I remember you. I was just trying
to let you know, you know, Ashley, you don't have
to do this. You know, your mother's in hospice, and
I knew again my dad was. He was a you know,
his hospice, it was home care. Hospice was Stilli's hospice.
(31:23):
That's some serious business. It's pretty much them saying hey,
which is there's nothing we can do. Is all going
to be up to God, and all we can do
is keep the person comfortable. And I wanted you to understand,
like I'm sure, and you politely, so gently told me
pretty much you had this and I'm just being just
(31:44):
short about it because you gave me some more details,
of course, but it was that was the that was
the gist of it. This is what I'm this is
what I set out to do, and you told me
is what your mother. You know you was doing it
because you loved your mother and you she taught you
those things, and you know you stept down faith. And
the very next day after you left your mother past
(32:09):
and girl, m h. I mean I was so I
know you was hurt because I was torn. I was
just torn apart. But your family, you know, you and
your dad and Row and your family. You guys, you
you embraced me and you allowed me to be You
allowed me a seat in your world. I mean, I
(32:31):
feel like a family, you know, and you guys, we
are family. It's just you're just such a beautiful, beautiful
fol you really are. I'm grateful that we God allowed
us to path to cross the past.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Thank you said definitely means a lie because my mom
my God runs down in Theresa and Grandma lu Luise Christina.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yes, I know that.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
That's all they ever wanted was for me and my
siblings to just to be good people, to be good
pillars for this world, produce good things for the world,
and to care about our community and to care about
human life. And I've done my best to do that.
(33:16):
So to get that from you, I really appreciate that
that means a whole lot. Absolutely, wow, Chad, we done
went through all of the emotions and one show. Oh
my goodness, but no, Anita, thank you so much for
coming through. Surely you are more than welcome back. I
know that there's you know, you are doing a lot
(33:36):
of different things, and you're involved in a lot of
different places, and you're a little bit everywhere. So I
know that there's gonna be stuff going on. You know,
you're more than welcome back on. You know, we always
got something to talk about. It's always gonna be something
definitely good. Well, I leave that open for you. But
I thank each and every one of you, guys, Thank
you so much for your love and support.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Keeping in mind. Anyone to tell you that you can't
do what you want to do, you look them square
in the face, you tell them, don't believe me. Just
watch watch what I do. Watch me make it happen,
Watch me make history. That's what we're doing, this for
the history books. Social media is nice, but real life
is so much better. Until next time, you guys,
None of those n be Sunday one. It is the girl,
the one and only Ash Brown, and this is the
Ash said It show. Over twenty one hundred episode since
twenty fourteen, half a million streams around the world. None
of this is.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Possible without you, guys, So thank you so much for
your love, your support, the shares, the cares. It makes
a huge difference. Today is a very special episode.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
We're featuring someone today that I may have touched on
I don't know well within those twenty one hundred episodes,
but this person was absolutely very impactful in my life,
in my transition into the military, and this was one
of my recruiters. So today we invite the wonderful Anita
(00:56):
to join us today. Hi Anita, Hi Ashley, how are
you doing today? You know what pretty good good? That's
a blessing. That is a blessing.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Now a lot of people know if you guys have
been paying attention to the show, this show in particular,
I had.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
No plans on doing. I had no plans on re
entering the world of radio audio shows and all those things.
So when I started this show, I was in the
midst of my grief. Anita and I connected because she
was my recruiter. She was the I want to say,
the third stop. This was the third recruiting station that
(01:37):
I had actually stopped in, and the two previous ones
kind of blew me off, kind of weren't taking me serious.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
But I had a mission. I was going to join
the army. I was going to get my stuff set up.
And if this one wasn't going to help me, guess what,
there are several other stations I can go to. And
when I met Anita at the station, she checked out
my credentials and stuff, she looked at what my waiting
things were. So wait is always has been a challenge
(02:05):
for your girl for years and years, as most people
it is. It's always a challenge. And so she didn't
blow me off. I first off, I didn't even know
you were the station commander, So we'll start off with that.
I had no idea because a lot of the other
stations that I had been to, the station commander either
wasn't there or they weren't talking to potential recruits. You
(02:28):
were there out on the floor, blended in with everybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And you told me, look, you get to this way,
then we can cook with grease we can get this
stuff set up. And so did that, and I actually
went out and was trained with you first thing in
the morning. We would meet outside before the sun came up, y'all,
(02:49):
before the yeah, yeah, chicken out.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I took a lot from you and that Anita,
and I really appreciate all of the efforts, everything that
you helped you did to help pour into me and
help me through that journey. And so I know so
much about you and so much about your career that
I felt that it was very impactful for us to
(03:13):
discuss how did things start with you are a reservist,
you were a cook, and then you had opportunities to
travel the world. Yeah, but it wasn't without struggles, challenges,
balancing life and all those different things. To start off
at the top, starting out as a cook and rising
(03:37):
to the rank of E eight is an astronomically large,
incredible journey. Can you walk us through the moment that
you decided that you wanted to pursue a career in
the army? Yeah, of course. Well, first of all, Ashley,
you know, I gotta say you and I we have
we've been friends for a very long time together, and
(04:01):
did developed into a beautiful friendship, sisterhood. So and thank
you for having me on your show. It just it
feels like, you know, you and I talk so all then,
and it's like, wow, we're really doing this, But okay,
I like it. First of all, I say again, thank
you for having me here. How my career all started
well at the age of seventeen. Well, first of all,
(04:23):
let me say I know even before the age of
seventeen that all I ever wanted to be was an
army girl. It was just then I did the ROTC
thing for three years. My parents decided to move and
relocate their family from Georgia, you know, born and raised
in Georgia, and we relocated to Illinois suburbs of the
(04:45):
you know, Chicago. The girls there in that school, they
were so cruel and mean towards me. One day after
school was the age of seventeen. I just after school,
instead of walking home like I normally would, I decided
I'm going to the nearest recruiting center, walked into the
recruiting station, talked to a recruiter. Of course, I was
seventeen years old, so mom and dad was gonna have
(05:07):
to sign. They would have to consent and afterwards, you know,
my recruiter. We shared it with my parents told me
Dad was not a fan at all, God risk his soul.
Mom was on board with whatever you want to do,
we're going to support. So she helped my dad to
get to that point and started as a reservist in
(05:28):
the army. And I want to say this, this is
very important. I failed the test, the ASPAP, that's the
test that you take. I felt at the very first time.
I mean, I was always a mediocre girl. It's like
I don't need to study. I just need to do
enough just to just get by. And once I felt that,
it kind of it crushed my ego, even at the
(05:48):
age of seventeen. So I did a little study in
second time. Around thirty days later, the earliest opportunity to
take it again, I took it and I passed it.
But I only had my three childs that they offered me,
and I remember it being I believe it was some
type of mechanic cook and I forget the third one,
but I said, you know what, I don't know how
(06:10):
to cook, but don't teach me. So yeah, I selected cook,
did the reserve thing for three years and eight months,
got with this guy, and he was just not a
nice guy to me. And I remember requesting to go
be released from a reserve to enter into you know,
active duty. I was allowed to do that, and so
(06:32):
my career on active duty started, and it began in
nineteen ninety. December of nineteen ninety, I went on off
to Germany, which was my first assignment on active duty,
just started moving up through the ring, figuring out what
it was. At first, I really didn't take it seriously. Honestly,
(06:52):
I just was like, you know, I just need a
quick gig to get away from this dude. And then
I got pregnant with my daughter. Now I have two
had one child, I have two children responsible for, and
you know, the years went by and I just started
maturing and made sure. One of the key things I
did was I made sure I kept my hands in
God's hand, or maybe it was him that made sure
(07:13):
I didn't. Let's just keep it real. I don't think
I had a whole lot of control over that, but
that wasn't definitely. You know, my dad was a pastor,
mom was a banker, and so I definitely knew who
God was, who Jesus is, and just wanted to stay
with him so throughout my career. I at first, I
just I just really wasn't serious about it. I just wasn't.
(07:35):
But I had some good leaders I had some bad leadership,
And honestly, I feel like the bad leadership was just
as important and vital to a successful career as the
good leadership was. You know, I needed that just as
much as I needed good, because then I knew what
it felt like being on that side of the track.
(07:55):
And I don't want to be I don't want to
make anyone feel the way this person's made me feel
and they're leader in charge of me. But anyway, I
think I really I do recall when I really got
serious about being a sociate the military, and I was
about eight years in, had just gotten station at Fort
Leavenworth dB Disciplinary bears, the disciplinary parents just what you know,
(08:19):
it's suf explanatory is pretty much. It's the prison where
all branches where they go. It's like the only maximum
security prison. Again it said Fort Livenworth, Kansas, And I
remember there I was getting ready to reenlist, and I
remember praying to God and saying, I don't think I
want to keep doing this. I just really need to
you know, we always tend to think the grass is
(08:40):
green on the other side. However, when I would get
a break going leave, which civilians know to be vacation time,
I would tell my mom, God knows blessed that woman's heart,
complained about the army to her, to my mom every opportunity,
and she would just work on me. I need to
stay where you're at. You're doing good. And I remember
(09:00):
thinking that, you know what, I'm just going to let
it go. If I make it to that team, your mark,
there's no turning back. Not only at eight years in
right now, I prayed about it, and there's some things happened.
I just decided, you know what, I'm all in and
that's really when I became serious, just flit up serious
about eight years and to the gay right. Eight years
(09:21):
was like the mark for you as far as like
getting situated and really understanding planning your next move essentially
with your career. How did you find balance within the
demands of this high pressure career and also being a
single mom. Oh gosh, girl, that it was so challenging, Ashley.
(09:41):
When I think about when I think back to that now,
it's like I feel myself trying to fight back tears
because you know, you look back and you revisit those times.
It's not a bad thing. But it's like I just
knew it wasn't all me. It just wasn't it was
my face. I'm a huge being still when you don't
(10:02):
know what to do, that's my natrum. That's my goal
to just being still. I don't like acting on emotion.
I try to kind of steer clear of that. It
was girl. It was times with even a single mom,
and the money was good, it wasn't bad, and the
benefits I kind of thought about often things that I
(10:22):
was blessed with, like my kids. I wanted them to
have the lifestyle and the quality of life that my
parents provided for their children to us, me and my
siblings and not knocking anyone, but I didn't want to
be on anyone's system. I just I didn't want to
be in the system. On the system. I don't want
to do any of that. I knew I needed to
(10:43):
provide medical, dental, vision, all of that to them. I
wanted to give them a good opportunity to get out
there and be productive citizens of society. I had to
do it, and neither one of the dads were in
their life. I mean my daughter's father. He was one
of those older phone type dads. Hey be good, how
you doing. I loved your baby. God rest his soul.
(11:03):
But it's true. And so, you know what, I focused
a lot on again my faith. I stayed in church somewhere.
I surrounded myself with positive people. Something my oldest brother
who was in the Air Force, had shared it with
me to do, and I took it one day at
a time, and you know what, I actually started really
enjoying it. It was all about mindset. The challenges that
(11:26):
I had at once they were no longer challenges. I
had overcome them. I was kind of looking for the
next one, like this, all you got, what's the next thing?
I started challenging myself. You know, I was really good
staying in shape physically, but you know what you need
that you need to be there as well mentally and
(11:47):
emotionally and financially. And once I kind of figured that
part out, it just I just really started enjoying it.
I remember telling people I am all armed. If you
cut me, I bleed arm. Well, now I say that
you don't cut me, and I don't bleed on me,
you know, I mean there's just so much that the
(12:07):
military can offer a person that's willing to open their
minds and just see it for what it is and
just know that the challenges they don't last, they don't
last all ways. They're gonna come and they're gonna go.
It's just all about how you decide to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Now, the army has historically been a male dominated institution.
I mean that's no surprise, there's no secret. We're always used.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
To seeing like historically they're gonna put a man up
front with everything. Now, for you, what were some of
the most significant challenges that you faced as a woman
as you were moving up those ranks? Just what you
said being a woman, And I'm gonna tell you this
as well, keeping yourself attractive, I mean it brings on
(12:57):
unwanted attention. I don't know why some men think because
you are putting in the work to keep yourself looking
good for yourself, now, not for them, but they take
it as you want them. You're doing that for them.
And here's the thing. You cannot put yourself in a
(13:18):
situation where you're not gonna be able to control the outcome.
So things I never did, girl, I did not I
steer clear of people who you know. You sit back
and you kind of figure out who's who. I don't
care what's coming from their mouth. If your actions do
not line up with what you're saying, you're done. I'm
(13:41):
not gonna tell you that. I'm gonna show you that.
You come across a lot of females girl that confining
you and tell you they were raped. No, And I
just didn't think that kind of stuff went on. And
a lot of times they don't even they don't share
with anyone because they are victims in their own head.
It's like they prompt this on themselves or they're ashamed
whatever the case is. Now. Sexual harassment, Oh, I got that.
(14:05):
Guys that would like peer I get it. That's what
they think they can do. You can straight check up jokers,
you know. But when you're getting it from your superiors
or your false is false, that will kind of a mess,
that'll mess with your head. I was grateful that. I
don't know how it came about knowing this, but I
(14:27):
kind of knew what to do and what not to do,
what to say and what not to say. And here's
the thing, definitely, don't don't tell it to anybody if
you don't want it to be told to somebody else.
Those certain things I just kept to myself once I
knew what the person was thinking. And now I'm gonna
tell you sometimes it's not always a man, sometimes a woman.
(14:49):
I never got it. I was never a drinker. I
never got into drinking. I definitely never did drugs, because
you know, you get all of that there, especially the alcohol,
especially when you' are definitely overseas, like in career in Germany,
that was a real big thing for soldiers to do
and I never did that. I just again my faith.
(15:10):
I stayed in church. I was always at the chapel
or taking a college course, working towards that degree. And
I just tried to stay with good, good company, you know,
other females, peers who kind of had to who shared
the same mindset as I did. And of course without
aging you, Anita, you got thirty plus years in the army.
(15:33):
That that is incredible. Yeah, that's an incredible just accomplishment
because a lot of people, as I'm sure that you
know a lot of people that you started with pride
and in with you. Oh yeah, the majority of them.
Did you know you enlisted into the reserves. So you
understand THEPS ceremony when they do the swearing in. You know,
(15:53):
I'm sure to this day still they tell the recruits
and their family members who are there to support that
support them, that one percent of the population joins the military.
And here's the thing, there's a very small percentage. It's
I think the last I was told lest I heard
it was like it was less than seventy it was
(16:14):
less than twenty percent of people who joined actually retired.
So of all the girls that I served with, in
some of the ones that I still keep in contact,
oh no, there's only a few of us that retire.
I mean, I'm grateful the fact that they even served.
Just like yourself. Hey, you know, everybody's story is just
(16:37):
not going to look alike. It's not going to look
the same. So that was just my journey, and I
was just glad that I would. I knew early on
that was the path I was to take. So for
you starting off as a could retiring e eight what
And I know that there were so many different things
that happened in the span of time as during your career,
(17:00):
but can you share maybe a time or an experience
that really warmed your heart, something that you look back
on and you're like, wow, I am so thankful that
I was a part of this or or being able
to witness that. Well, I guess mine's going to be
on a personal level if I could something that personally happened. God,
(17:23):
and you know, whatsh this is. So I don't believe
in quest of this is life at this point, I
just don't. I believe in fate and hey, but just before,
just early today, I was sitting down in my home
office at my desk and I'm going back over some
photos and I think earlier I shared some with you,
like you know, some things from back in the past.
(17:43):
But anyway, it's funny you asked this question. I didn't
know you were going to ask this, but I was
looking at I didn't open the video because it's just
gonna have me booming all over the place. But so,
when I became a first sergeant over recruiting company, I
had a company of forty and so I was on
(18:06):
that assignment that toured for. It was a two year assignment, right,
and so when I was coming out of that position,
we have a change of responsibility ceremony that takes place
and then I'm the outgoing first or in the incoming,
so you know, it's just ceremony and blah blah blah.
And so I had and I know I had some
(18:29):
guys that really like I had one one soldier that
had been on me for like fourteen years and he
got out And before you got out, he told me
that he just didn't want to work for a female.
And I couldn't believe this guy's going to walk away
from his career. It's like, Wow, you're gonna have that.
You're going to allow somebody. I didn't take it personally,
but you canna allow someone to change the way you
(18:50):
feed your family is pretty deep. So anyway, what can
you do? I tried talking with him and helping him
to see a big picture, but you know it was
just to no avail. Well, I went on and I
marched on, and come to end, it's time to do
this ceremony, and I got choked up when it was
(19:11):
my turn too, is outgoing first sergeant to speak? Girl?
I bawled. I bawled. I tried my heart to keep
those tears back, but I couldn't. So anyway, and I
finally got done with that at the end of the ceremony,
and then you know, it was time for me. You know,
we all, you know, we break some bread together. And
I gone to the bathroom before we before I sat
(19:34):
down to eat, because I had to clean up my face.
And girl, when I came out of the women's room,
there are two soldiers. And let me tell you this.
They were white male soldiers and they both had come
from line units where it once upon a time females
weren't allowed in those units when they starved. Well, they
(19:54):
were on recruiting duty now. And girl, when I tell you,
they both were waiting for me, and they asked me
because they speak to me. And girl, when I looked
in their eyes, they their eyes looked like mine. I
just looked at mines in the mirror read and they
were kind of like puffy. And they shared with me
(20:14):
that their story was they did not want to work
for me, or work under me, or be in a
company with a female leader. And one of them told
and he said, first Sergeant, I love you. He said,
in his eleven years before he came on recruiting duty,
he only had one first sergeant that he would go
(20:36):
to war back to war with, and he never had
anyone else. He said, well, you're the second one. And
he told me he never thought that he could work
for a female leader, and he told me he loved me.
And the other one, you know, his story was very,
very similar, and he said, we just had to tell you.
(20:58):
They said, we don't want to see you going. And
it was just gosh, you know, I mean, talk about
giving someone their flowers, you know, I mean that just
meant the world to me. That's when you really know
that you have truly made a difference. So it was
(21:22):
well worth it. You know. Again, it had its challenges,
and sometimes you don't always know what you never really
know what people are thinking of you, because when they
come in front of you, especially if you're a certain
type of if you're at a certain level or we're
at a certain rank, they're gonna put they're gonna play
the game, but they're gonna respect. I mean, they're gonna
(21:44):
give it to you. They got no choice. Yeah, that
was huge for me. And before then, you know, in
the fool surface world as a cook, I made it
to that a facility manager and uh, you know it's
just it's for before you leave, we do hell the farewells.
So before you leave, especially in service seats, they're gonna,
(22:08):
you know, they're gonna they're gonna honor you, and you're
gonna have break some bread, and they're gonna sometimes even
come burying gifts. And everybody gets a chance to set
up and kind of give you some words of encouragement
or just kind of some kind of mock you. You know,
you go through it all and they just tell you
what they thought of you, what you mean to them,
regardless of how great or how little. And you know,
(22:30):
I have been told before I left his guy, a
facility manager in Korea, that I was I wasn't liked,
you know, they liked me, and they consider me to
be a you know, a B word. And but one
guy followed up with, you know, you are exactly the
type of leader. I was, exactly the type of leader
that he wanted to become. But he has some growing
(22:53):
to do, you know, because here's the thing. People people
also think they don't see you when you're trying to
keep them on a straight and narrow They kind of
especially when they've had bad leadership and that's all that's
all they know, they kind of see you as a problem.
But I mean, love is love is gonna correct you.
(23:13):
When you care about somebody, you're gonna tell them what
they need to hear and not necessarily what they want
to hear. And I never cared to do it in
front of if I had to kind of reprimand someone.
It was never I needed an audience. It was just
one on one, you know, constructive criticism. And but you know,
I went through my little thing as a young soldier,
(23:34):
so I kind of you know, I didn't forget where
I where I come from, so I knew. You plant
those seeds, and you plant good seeds, and you kind
of expect another good leader along the way to kind
of water those seeds and eventually a person's gonna develop,
and they're gonna mature and they're gonna blossom into that
beautiful flower that hopefully you know you are right about now,
(23:55):
you know. And it's just as you and I say,
all and we talk over the phone, we all have
a journey, we all have a story. Anita, today, you've
been through the fire shot to sha Ka Khan.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
All right, you've been through the fire all right, through
it all, and then bad Khan. Yes, I mean who
I don't know if I can trust somebody if they
don't like Shaka Khan. I'm like, man, I don't know
if I don't think we could be cool if you're
saying something out Shaka, but you've been through.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
So much in your career and your life just as
a whole. If Anita today had the opportunity to talk
to that cute little seventeen year old with that fire
burning in her to join the army, what would you
say to her today? Oh gosh, that's a good one, Ash,
(24:43):
You know what I'm gonna be like my late fathers
told me over nineteen, you know, when talking with him
before you pass, I rest his soul. I don't have
any regrets, I really don't. But what I would tell
my younger self is you don't always have to be heard,
you don't always have to be right. You're always going
(25:04):
to be in control. Girl, shut your pie hole please,
you know, because at one point in my life always
had to have the last word. I was a sort
of meek, quiet girl growing up, and my mom often say,
you know, you was real quiet as a child, and
when you went to the military, you came back just us.
(25:24):
And so you know, I was trying to make my
marketing life, and I think I was going about it.
It really could have been the wrong way, you know
what I'm saying. It was the wrong way in so
many ways. So yeah, I would tell myself, you know,
never lose who you are. At one point, you know,
I was chasing after somebody was finessing that stuff the
(25:45):
world was selling, girl. I mean, I just was and
I thought I thought the world was where it was at,
you know, and it didn't last long. It was always
something that set me on my butt real quick pass.
But yeah, I would definitely tell my yourself, believe in you,
because there were times that I had a lot of doubt.
(26:05):
But it wasn't in God, never God, but it was
a lot of doubt of myself. It's like there was
times I was like, man, what the heck a I
doing with my life? I had doubts, Ashley. I'm grateful
for the people God plant in my life, mostly my parents,
because my mom had her way. My mom and dad
were even after thirty plus years of marriage they divorced,
(26:27):
they were pretty much telling me the same thing, just
in different ways. My dad was a little kind of
like aggressive, Hell, what the hell you doing? The hell
wrong with you? You know my mom was more of
you know, Anita. You know, honey, you don't want to
do that. You know, you don't want to get out
of the army, come back, there's nothing here. And then
you go home, and you know, folks asking you can
(26:48):
I borrowed twenty dollars, like day, he ain't got twenty dollars.
It must be recent in your world, you know what
I'm saying. So yeah, I would just go back to
what you ask. I would just say the doubt that
I do it have I kind of want to see this.
I wasted some time. I wasted time dealing with guys
that I really just really shouldn't even entertain, to be
(27:12):
honest with you, that was time that I can't get back.
So yeah, I would tell myself to hey, and don't
be imposible, Do not act in haste. If it's meant
for you, girl is not gonna miss you. I learned
that later on in life, and better late than ever.
But I feel like that's definitely an area that I
(27:33):
could have used someone a mentor to tell me, hey, girl,
it ain't worth it. But I learned, and sometimes I
learned the hard way, but I learned it. Absolutely beautiful,
beautifully put Anita, thank you so much for coming through.
Definitely appreciate you beyond words. You know you are.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You are my sister, and I appreciate you so much,
not just on just the surface level of helping me
join the army, but you are one of those quiet
voices on the sidelines as me and my family were
going through and my mom was in the hospital and
(28:16):
then she was in hospice, and you were always steadfast
there for me, and that is a huge part of
my memory during that tumultuous time, Like I it wasn't
none but God they got me through that, it wasn't
me myself. And then even going through the grieving process,
I know that you shared with me some about losing
(28:40):
your father and what that process was like for you,
and you always made you know. Thank you so much
for making yourself available to me. Like if I was
calling you just in the random middle of the day
or texting you or whatever the case is, you never
made me feel like I was a burden, and I.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Just thank you for that. You're okay, no, we don't
want to be crying.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No, but but you were just I mean, and that's
just the christ in you. And allowing that to just
just permeate and knowing how to be there for people
even if you know you maybe going through some personal
stuff yourself. You stepped outside of that and you were
there for me and my family and I will never
forget that. And I just said, thank you. That's all
(29:31):
I can say.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, I want to share this. We got a couple
more minutes because I understand about you. Because girl, let
me tell you you you have such a sweet soul, Ashley,
and you're so jim told and you really make it
easy people like you. You make it so easy. I
mean for you to be so transparent and share with others,
(30:00):
saw of the pain that you were feeling. You know,
I remember, I remember we were going to the hospital,
and you know my greed behind the girls get something
and this Ms Donald got rid of her soul. Just
a beautiful, beautiful you had the most beautiful Your face
(30:20):
was lawlessless. Yes, you know it's like no, I'm like
Dan girls, just beautiful, beautiful teeth. I still see her
right now. But I have so much respect for you.
(30:40):
I admire you girl. Your mother, as you just said,
had she was admitted to housepice And for you to steal.
I remember to this day like it was yesterday, Ashley,
where I'm talking to you. I think we're driving a
government vehicle. Head, put a stay here, I'm taking you
wherever home. A whole it was because we're not supposed
(31:01):
to go anywhere else in that vehicle right to these places.
But anyway, it was official government business. Let's put that
out there. But I remember you. I was just trying
to let you know, you know, Ashley, you don't have
to do this. You know, your mother's in hospice, and
I knew again my dad was. He was a you know,
his hospice, it was home care. Hospice was Stilli's hospice.
(31:23):
That's some serious business. It's pretty much them saying hey,
which is there's nothing we can do. Is all going
to be up to God, and all we can do
is keep the person comfortable. And I wanted you to understand,
like I'm sure, and you politely, so gently told me
pretty much you had this and I'm just being just
(31:44):
short about it because you gave me some more details,
of course, but it was that was the that was
the gist of it. This is what I'm this is
what I set out to do, and you told me
is what your mother. You know you was doing it
because you loved your mother and you she taught you
those things, and you know you stept down faith. And
the very next day after you left your mother past
(32:09):
and girl, m h. I mean I was so I
know you was hurt because I was torn. I was
just torn apart. But your family, you know, you and
your dad and Row and your family. You guys, you
you embraced me and you allowed me to be You
allowed me a seat in your world. I mean, I
(32:31):
feel like a family, you know, and you guys, we
are family. It's just you're just such a beautiful, beautiful
fol you really are. I'm grateful that we God allowed
us to path to cross the past.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Thank you said definitely means a lie because my mom
my God runs down in Theresa and Grandma lu Luise Christina.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yes, I know that.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
That's all they ever wanted was for me and my
siblings to just to be good people, to be good
pillars for this world, produce good things for the world,
and to care about our community and to care about
human life. And I've done my best to do that.
(33:16):
So to get that from you, I really appreciate that
that means a whole lot. Absolutely, wow, Chad, we done
went through all of the emotions and one show. Oh
my goodness, but no, Anita, thank you so much for
coming through. Surely you are more than welcome back. I
know that there's you know, you are doing a lot
(33:36):
of different things, and you're involved in a lot of
different places, and you're a little bit everywhere. So I
know that there's gonna be stuff going on. You know,
you're more than welcome back on. You know, we always
got something to talk about. It's always gonna be something
definitely good. Well, I leave that open for you. But
I thank each and every one of you, guys, Thank
you so much for your love and support.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Keeping in mind. Anyone to tell you that you can't
do what you want to do, you look them square
in the face, you tell them, don't believe me. Just
watch watch what I do. Watch me make it happen,
Watch me make history. That's what we're doing, this for
the history books. Social media is nice, but real life
is so much better. Until next time, you guys,
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.