Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh, I would if daddy got home yet. How daddy, Hello, snookes,
where's the baby? He's in a bathtub? Good heavens, haven't
you got more sense than to leave a fifteen month
old child in a bathtub? Look out the old brown day?
(00:21):
How do you know? But it's just a classic Brookes beer.
Are you all right? You're still alive? Yes? But they
might very easily have been a tragic accident. Why because
nobody goes off and leaves a baby in a cup
full of water? I did I know he did, And
(00:46):
don't let it happen again. A very id very stop that.
Come on, little fellow, daddy'll dry up? He's here, boy daddy,
Why of course he's a boy. Catch me a towel, please,
Why so I can dry him before he catches a cold?
(01:06):
Why are you home in front of the electrics man,
I'll never mind those diabolical ideas of yours. Get a towel, quick,
a boy, tower, handy towel and hurry, I'm getting wet
all over. Heavey tall, daddy, Shall I hit him with it?
Give it to me there? Well? Have you drying a
(01:29):
jiffy little man? Rub? But dumb, dumb when he laughed.
He looks like you die. He does it? That doesn't he? Yeah,
he all knows, that's all. Lend me the baby powder,
(01:52):
let me shake it a harm'm daddy? Oh all right,
but go easy? Oh no, you're putting it all over
his face. Man swallace some daddy. No, it'll poison him.
Would it poison in if he ate a take the soap? By?
Of course it would? Well it didn't. Do you mean
(02:16):
to tell me the child ate some soap? When did
that happen? When I was quietly pushing it in his mouth?
And daddy, well, I certainly hope. So now let me
get little Roby to bed. I'm expecting a man here
soon win a new car? Yes, I hope I can
get him to allow me a hundred dollars on my
(02:37):
old one. Why because no other dealer will allow me
more than seventy five? Oh, and that reminds me, what's
that boloney you were handing, mister Powell about me being rich?
It's just the looney daddy, I know it is. But
why on earth you go to such trouble to make
up those fantastic stories. It ain't no trouble, I've told
(02:58):
you time and again, every American child should try to
emulate the great George Washington. Oh, ye oh, don't tell
me you've never heard of George Washington. Why don't you
learn anything of that broken out school of yours? Ain't
a horrible, oh suke, you must have heard of him.
(03:21):
Who was our first president? Combon? No, it was Washington,
George Washington. That's the first thing you learned, the names
of our presidents. The first president was Washington, the second
was Adams. The third president was You mean to tell
me you never heard of who is the same president?
(03:45):
I think it was Taft, But it doesn't matter. I'll
let me put roast beer in bed and then you
can go to sleep. I want a new car. I'd
rather not have you around. I have to make a
deal with the salesman on our old car. It might
take a bit of a fannake. Huh nothing, all right,
slide down the good night baby, now, Oh, say good
(04:11):
night to your little brother snookes the night moost. No,
all right, get into here pajamas. What's the nagling, daddy? Oh,
it's a musical term for sharp practice. Just forget about it,
and then here daddy, Ahead of then, wait, I'll go.
(04:32):
Good evening, mister Higgins. I've brought a new car. How
are s no? All right, come on, but leave the
door open. Ropespierre might wake up. Here's the car, beauty
given she allow you? Oh fair looking car. Of course
you understand the deal depends on how much you allow
me for my car. Naturally, Well, I think I should
tell you I had the car down to another deal yesterday,
(04:53):
and he offered me six hundred on the trade. Oh god, well,
I'm confident that we can match anybody's off of Hi.
I believe we'd even make an allowance of fifty dollars
for that dilapidated old rattle trap of a car. Which
car right there in front of the new one. That's
(05:15):
our car, mate, I thank your pardon. Yes, sir, that
dilapidated old rattle trap of a car does happen to
be my automobile. Well that's how in the horse I
want to a car. There's not gonna be any new cars.
I can see this man doesn't want to make a deal.
Oh not just a minute, mister Higgins. I'm sure we
(05:37):
can get together. Of course, I haven't tried your old car,
and I can take my word for it. It runs
as smooth as a tough business smirks. Yeah, them can
make more. No, never mind, Well, I'd like to drive
it around the block and get an idea of whoa,
what a pity? I just remembered I gave my wife
the keys to the car. She won't be back for
a week. Oh, daddy, what's the matter with you? Mommy's
(06:02):
playing by make his canos and he get you behind.
That's what she told you. I happen to know she
won't be hoped for a week. You hear me? OHI
I hear that's fine, So did George Washington. Uh, mister Higgins.
Weedo's usually set a trade in price without testing the car.
(06:24):
But inasmuch as there isn't a great deal of money
in fault, What do you mean I want six hundred
dollars for this car? He's just joking it, I certainly not. Well, Oh,
I'll give her seventy five dollars. And it's that I'm
stretching it today. I think I hear you out here, Ellen,
Oh he is, I'll be right back. Uh. Wouldn't you
like to have this nice new car, young lady? Uh? Huh,
(06:47):
But the man's on the sa streets. Gonna be awful,
mad if you get the old one. What that tree?
It's back to make the car. What does he want
with us? Well, I heard him tell he wants to
buy it. Course it's got a million miles on it,
a million miles. Uh huh. And he wants to put
it in the door with all a new car. See
(07:10):
sort of an advertising stunt. Uh. How much did he
offer for it? Do you know? Two hundred dollars? And
what did your mother say? Yes for two thousand? Hm?
So the man laughed and went away, eh h h.
Then he came back later and offered a fifteen hundred dollars.
(07:32):
What he said she would talk to daddy, but she
ain't seen him yet. Uh uh you you mean your
daddy doesn't know about this offer. And I'm gonna tell
j just just a minute, my dear, Look, I'd like
to play us off of a joke. And you're daddy,
you know, And if you don't say anything, I'll give
(07:53):
you this dollar, alright, want to say anything? He put
it away because he's sound asleep. He Uh, mister Higgins,
I've been thinking, I know you want this new car
pretty badly. So I've decided to offer you two hundred
dollars for your old one. Well, that's more like it.
It's still hone and morning fifteen huney guy. Of course
(08:13):
I might press it a bit and make it to fifty.
Your mom, are you just stay out of this snow.
I'll leave it to a childless poilty. Oh sure, ih,
chure I two fifty seeds to be more in line.
But if you can give you what, I'll give you
three hundred, not a cent more. Is it a deal?
It's a deal. Here, sign these papers. I just remembered.
(08:35):
I have to get back to the showrooms. Very important
to point car. Right here you are, sir, I am
thank you, thank you. You can use the car right now,
and I'll have your old car picked up tonight. That's fine.
Goodbye ol Man, goodbye Misster Higgins, goodbye little lady. Well
let's go in snows. Yes, your old dad knows how
(08:57):
to make a day. See the way I made him
push his price up. You wonderful daddy. Oh pretty smart operator. Yes, sir, Well,
how would you like to take her ride to the studio.
I've got to collect a little bet. Well, let's god, yes,
I think I know what, well, don't have a try it.
(09:21):
Come on,