June 18, 2025 • 29 mins
This comedic series features a mischievous child whose antics and witty remarks bring laughter to audiences, showcasing the lighter side of family life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Baby Snout Shawl, starring Fanny Bryce as Baby Snucks
but Hanley Stafford as Daddy and brought to you by Thumbs.
(00:23):
Does acid indigestion and heartburn hit you after your juice
and coffee in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We'll just eat a couple of tombs and.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
See how toms sweeten your stomach. Almost instantly, you feel
better fast a couple of tombs after lunch and after dinner.
Let you enjoy your food without fear of acid, indigestion
and heartburn. It toms tonight, and always keep them handy.
T u ms Toms for the tummy, guaranteed to contain
(00:49):
no soda.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Still only ten cents a roll three.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Year old package a quarter everywhere. And now to Sycamore
Terrace and the Higgins family. Well, to adults, the first
of the month usually means bills, but to children it's
even worse.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
It means report cards.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So now let's go to the fourth grade of the
Sycamore Grammar School where the teacher, Miss Teesdale is passing
out the bad news.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yes, Harvey, you did very well this month. And now
I come to Snooks Higgins Snooks Gestler's tea damp do
you see this.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Card I'm holding in my hands. Yeah, do you know
what it.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Is there at stake? No, it's in a cloud.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, it's your report card. And just listen to these marks?
Spelling for he, arithmetic for he? And how do you
account for this one? History?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Ten?
Speaker 6 (01:54):
I guess I've been spending too much time on spelling
and arithmetic.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Looks, these marks are abominable. And do you think that.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
One of my pupils should make such a horrible showing?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Well, don't my second in simple?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Looks? Don't you dare be pregnant?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
If anyone should be ashamed, it's you. Your report card
sets a new record for low marks for the entire
school year.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
I had a new record. Yes, and I why shouldn't
even trying?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Look that wasting enough time with you? I have other pupils,
you know.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Now.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You just take this report card home and see that
your father signs it.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
But if it will spank me, perhaps you deserve it.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I'm afraid to show it. Tom.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You will just have to face the situation.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I don't mind faces the situation, but he makes me
back into it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I want that report card back here tomorrow morning. Sign
by your father. Now we'll hear no more about it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
All right, it's very important that the dinner be perfect
tomorrow night for mister and missus. Wehebish, Well, what's so important.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
We've had them here before for dinner.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Well, the firm's opening, and you plant them. I'm hoping
to be the manager of it. If we give them
a good dinner, maybe he'll become expensive and offer me
the job.
Speaker 7 (03:28):
Well, I'm having turkey fine, cranry, sauce good, and I
think i'll make some of those dumplings like my mother
makes your mother's dumplings.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yes, they like expanded anybody, Oh, is that so.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
My mother's dumplings? They're wonderful. What's wrong with her dumplings?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
They're just like your mother, heavy, lumpy and don't agree
with anybody. And just when you think you've got the
things settled, they start talking back.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Land thought. My mother happens to be a very fine cook.
And you know very well she used to run a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yes, I remembered very well. It was the only restaurant
whose cooking was listed by Duncan Hines as subversive.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Very funny.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's true, believe me, your mother's food was dedicated to
the overthrow of the American stomach by force and violence.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
All right, I've all made dumplings. Don't make my own
special biscuits.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Oh you will, really your own special biscuit? Yeah, oh
very yeah, make dumplings. Now let's see with turkey. I
think a white wine would be good. I'm day please,
I'm busy the day.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
This is important.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Look, I'm planning at enough for my boss and his
wife later.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
But I want you to do this now.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
You always have to bother me. Look is it something
you can do yourself? Well, then do it yourself the day?
Do it yourself, all right?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
If you take I do tay so well. If he
wants me to do it myself. Lends a lot, Higgens.
See my report cay is all sign snoops, Higgins, that's
(05:26):
maschin Dale.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
About this report card of yours. You've signed your father's
name to it, haven't you sure? How can you lie?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Did you say sure?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You mean you mean you admit that you signed your
father's name to your report card?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
But that's forgery, snooks.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
You can go to jail for it.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Now, why did you do it?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I can go to jail for.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Years now answer the question.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
If you to answer on the ground that it might incriminate.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Snooks, you answered the question, or I'll have you held
in contempt of school.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
I mean, oh, now you're making.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Me do it.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Now, come on, Snooks, unless you want me to drag
you down to the principle.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
You tell me why you forged your father's name to
that report card.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Well, he told me too. He made me, he made you.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I don't believe it. It's true.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
He was really planning in the current ball.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh poppy cock, no turkey, I mean it's a lie.
No parents let his child sign his name to the
report card. Well he did, and he didn't even look Snooks,
your lyne. And I'm bringing this to your parents' attention
at once.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Now you come with me.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I'm a man to see my lawyer.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
Oh come, I can't believe it, Lancelot Teasel said, Snooks
forged your name to her report card.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
That's a little delinquent. Where in the world would you
get an idea like that? But then what can I
expect with the family. She comes from your side, of course,
my side.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Now just stop that.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Oh er, are you ignoring the fact that some years
ago your brother was put in jail for selling surplus
war materials.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But it was unfair.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
Lots of people sold surplus war material yes, but not
while the war was still on.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
All right, So Louis was the one exception in the family.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The one exception. How about your aunt Mabel, the shoplifter.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
She'll steal anything, And maybe it is not a shoplifter,
she's a cleptomaniac.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
It's a disease with the poor woman. She's been going
to a psychiatrist to find out where she got it.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well, I don't know where she got it, but I
guarantee she stole it. Anyway, I'm glad she's going to
a psychiatrist.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
She's not going anymore. The psychiatrist discharged her.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh then she's killing No, he.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
Got sore when he discovered his couch was missing.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
But the flit stuff, the snooks, is the problem.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
And you better have a talk to the right away,
a fine time.
Speaker 8 (08:03):
With the wimishes coming over any minute, How can I
keep my mind on anything? But you've got to settle
this thing before they get here. Oh all right, how
can you lie like that, your little monster?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
I ain't lions. You told me to sign a report.
God myself.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Why I'd never do a thing like that, but you
were ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
For no, it ain't ridiculous.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
You wore bady with the dinner for the wimishes, and
you told me to sign it myself.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It did it?
Speaker 9 (08:37):
Did?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Do? Tell me that I remember no such thing, and
I have a memory like an elephant. I never forget
a thing. You're here, not a thing? Where were we?
Why did you play hooky today? It was the report god?
Oh yes, the report card. But where did you lose it?
I mean, why did you sign it? But you told
(09:00):
me to snooks. You are lying. I'd never do such
a thing.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Well you did, and I ain't lying.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
You are now, And if you don't admit it and
promise to tell only the truth, you're not getting any
of the wonderful dinner we're having for the weeishes. Now. Look,
it's not so terrible as long as you admit it.
All of us lie now and then I lied. I
even remember once when your mommy lied. I word yes,
when she told me someday i'd have a child. The
(09:32):
point is, unless you admit a lie, you'll go online
and then it'll become a disease, just like chicken pox
or the measles.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
You mean I'll break out in bibbs.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
No, I mean it'll get you into trouble. Look, maybe
I can explain this better with a story. It's about
the little girl who started out just like you, signing
her daddy's name to her report card and then lying
about it. She wound up in a prison.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
What's her name?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
She doesn't have a name. She has a number six, seven, one, four, three, five,
nine two eights.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
That's pretty long to remember. Doesn't she have her a
nat number? No, I want her to have a nick name.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh, sir, we'll call her six for short. Now let
me get on with the story. When number six was
a little girl, she got away with forging her father's
name to her report card. From that, she went to
forteing chicks. Then she met a man who was also
a liar and a criminal.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
What was his name?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
We'll call him eight. When eight and six met, do
you know what happened forty? No, they became a pair
of thieves, operating as a team. Finally they got caught
rubbing a bank. He's in jail for life and she's
still got ten years to serve.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Do you want this to.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Happen to you, it can happen to me, And why not?
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Because I didn't lie in the fly?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
That does it? You're going to admit you lied him?
Promise to tell the truth hereafter if I have to
spank it out of you, but I haven't been lying,
or you're still putting up an argument, all right, take
that care how you're going to promise?
Speaker 5 (11:26):
I probit, I promise, I'll just tell the truth. He'll act.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
That's better. Now, I'll get washed up and come down
for dinner with the Weebises, and don't be long.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I'll good even wake him. Simply wonderful, mister Wilson. I'm
like a new woman. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
No way, Wait a minute, what's wonderful?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Wonderful wonderful talk.
Speaker 7 (12:00):
Of course, thanks to Toms, I've said goodbye to sleepless
nights from acid indigestion.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I just take a couple of tons.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
At dead time and drift off to dreamland. Prado.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yes, Toms settle ensue upset stomach almost instantly, relieve heartburn,
ease over acid distress away, so you can enjoy eight
hours of natural sleep every night. Thanks to Toms, natural
sleep that PEPs you up. Is only natural sleep? Can
the natural sleep that follows tom.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I love toms for their convenience too. You don't have
to nay your nicks or steer anything. Just eat those
good tombs I can.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And remember friends. In spite of skyrocketing prices, you pay
not one penny more for tombs. Thumbs are still only
ten cents a roll, three roll package of quarter encounters
everywhere by the big economy box you get twelve ten
cent rolls for only one dollar. Get tums tombs for
the tummy this very night, and always keep tombs handy.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Else.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Nuxs is pretty mad at Daddy. Daddy falsely accused her
of lying and even spanked her for it. But right
now everybody is busy making final preparations for the dinner.
Dad is giving his boss, mister Weimish and Missus Wimish,
who haven't U yet arrived?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Oh gosh, I hope everything goes all right THEEA. Oh,
don't worry it with let's see, I'll sit on missus
Wemish's left hand, you sit on the right. How what
will we do with SKX I'll hold a leg down.
You will sit over there next to your mummy. And
for Heaven's sake, hush your table, mammas. I don't want
(13:37):
the Wemishes to think we've raised a little pig happenings.
Uncle Louis won't be here. His members are just ghustie.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
I think Donalois is very polite at the dinner table.
Oh you do, yeah, whenever your passion something, he always
tips his hat.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
You're not supposed to be wearing at in the house
in the first place. And forget Uncle Louis, it's your
man as I'm worried about.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Oh, stop picking on the child lamp.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Well, I'm not going to be embarrassed in front of
the Webishes. Some of her eating habits are terrible soups.
I don't want to see you soaking up the gravy
with the bread. Only a big dirty pick does that.
Speaker 5 (14:17):
But I like gravy.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
That's too bad? Can I stuck it up through a straw?
And another thing, I don't like your habit of standing
up when you want something and reaching way out with
your hand. You have a tongue, use it.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
All right, put my hand down much wrong?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I mean, asked for what you want? Say? May I
have the water? Please? May I have the butter. May
I have the roast beef?
Speaker 5 (14:53):
I thought we were having turkey.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Life, May I have the turkey?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
It ain't ready?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Do you have to take everything so literally?
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Oh Lancelot, please don't be so stern with her. She
starts to tell the truth. From now on, you don't
have to keep being angry with it, im all right,
all right?
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Gosh, I wonder what's keeping the Wimishes.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
It's probably missus Wemish. They all sala push sometimes. I
wonder how Wemish can stand it.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Well, he's no prize himself.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
He looks like an old Walls And after he's out
some of your mother's dumplings, you will probably sound.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Like, how do they ever meet in the first place?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I don't know, but there's a rumor but they both
belong to the same after shaves clubby How old.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Is missus Wemish anyway, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
It's amazing he looks like one hundred and twenty She does,
doesn't she? Of course, all those wrinkles don't help. What
a face. She looks like the Saint Bernard. Oh gosh,
what are they going to get? Sting on the sky?
And don't forget that this is a very important dinner
for us. I want to make a real impression on
(16:07):
the Wimishes.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I'll do everything.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Get on your pony, now go answer the door. Well, dear,
in a little while we'll be having dinner with the Weamishes,
and who knows, maybe it'll be the manager's job of
the new plants. Oh, I'm sure it will, Dear, there,
(16:30):
this turkey is just delicious.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Oh yes, it's certainly well. I'm so glad you're liking this.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Bread tastes so good soaked in this wonderful gravy. Would
you pass me another piece?
Speaker 5 (16:43):
All right? If you want to be a big dry pea.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
While shoes.
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Well, that's what you said about people who jump up
their gravy.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
She misunderstood, being mister Wemish. We all be soak our
bread in the gravy. I think I soak a piece,
all the piece of bread to soaking the gravy.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Love it, love it is we piece of bread.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Soaking your gravy.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
All right, snookes not me.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
I'm not take.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Snakes. Do you want to leave the table.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Well, I'm just saying what you told me before, that is.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yes, let's change the subject.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Really, Mistermish, it's wonderful having you and missus Weisho over again.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
It's been so long.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Oh yes, indeed, because it's not just business. I think
a lot of you, mister weish you do, yes, sir,
I'm soldier's beard.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Yeah, and they think you're an all wary.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Well, isn't that not worse? How can you say such
a thing?
Speaker 5 (17:55):
It's easy. I'm telling the true flags.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
You say, Okay, Well, I guess I know when I've
been insulted coming.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
By them the down harold, you are an old warres
beside ways intensive humor, but I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
How do you like it if they thought you were
an old walrus?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:13):
They don't think that she's an old warry.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
We thank Heaven for that.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
They think she's an old sour push.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
And you look over one hundred and twenty. You gotta
take like a sake.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Bana got a fish like well?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Well, I like Sapanard's too.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Do you ever carry a take of brandy under your necks?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Please? She doesn't know what she's saying.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
I do too.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
You spank me so I comic to tell a cup
and that's just what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
I've never been so insulted in my life.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Oh please, missus wemens, please, it's all of us, really, Harold,
don't just sit there, do something.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Serious and then fire him, fire him?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yes, but I haven't finished eating.
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Herod.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Can I have a few more potatoes first and then
break off the relationship, Harold, do what I say?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yes, I have a few more potatoes, mister weebishi's more
cried berry sauce. Just a bit? You're fired? More stuffing?
Woon cool? Maybe you're true. Never have my wife been
and soulda that she has here in your own home?
And I won't stand for it. Do you hear? I
won't stand for it? Uh, Patsy Gravey, you reconsidered, mister Weeby.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
No, he won't reconsider it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And Harold, I'm not saying you're another moment come home
this instant, ah, Harold, you seem to be taking.
Speaker 7 (19:49):
The fact that I've been insulted rather lately.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I'm coming, Yes, Higgins, I cannot tolerate such impertinence and
behind the back dis loyally as you're directed against me
my wife. I'm absolutely furious with you and wish.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Nothing further to do with you. Would you mind wrapping
this up for my dog, and perhaps another piece of
bread to soak in the gravy. Good day, Yes, and
do you have a tongue? Deer?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Those dumpling here you are held dot com on there,
I'm fired.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Yeah, sure looks like it, you little monster.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Come here.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I didn't do nothter. I just told her too that
I've got thankful lie.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yes, you told the truth, all right, and this is
what you're getting for us.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
What are you gonna say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Take up your mind, uncle, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll put your legal mind to work and tell me
how to get my job back.
Speaker 10 (21:00):
Well, this is really funny, Iggy. You spank Snooks in
the promising to tell the truth, then she crosses you
up and tells it at the wrong time. Yeah, you
just can't trust that kid. Oh the message she gets
me into. Sometimes I feel like quietly dropping her off
a bridge.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
He don't even talk that way. You couldn't do a
thing like that. I know I couldn't. There is a
bridge around here for miles.
Speaker 10 (21:25):
You know, Higgy, sometimes you're a pretty preoccupied fellow. How
do you know Snooks wasn't telling the truth about signing
a report card in the first place. Maybe you told
her too without realizing it, but I wouldn't be that
absent minded.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 10 (21:37):
I'll never forget the time Vera let you to take
care of all the kids and also prepared dinner.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
They got you so nervous that you didn't know what
you were doing. I don't remember that.
Speaker 10 (21:45):
I do When I came in, the roast beef was
in the bookcase and you were in the kitchen basting
the latest book of the month club selection.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hey wait a minute, Joan mentioning, didn I bring something back? Yeah,
yesterday when I was busy, we sees Snooks did ask
me for something, and I think I told her to
do it herself. Good happens. The kid wasn't lying, And
there's whole message of my own making. Now I'll never
get out of it. Oh well, there is one thing
(22:15):
you can try, but it'll mix things up even more.
What is it?
Speaker 10 (22:17):
It'll take Snooks to see Weenish and have her telling
that she was mad at you and everything she said
was lies.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
But to do that, I have to ask her to lie,
and i'd after spanking her for that very reason. Ironic,
isn't it, But can you think of anything else? I'm
going to hate myself? What else can I do? See
a lada kunk? Mister Weemish. You'll see us in a minute.
(22:45):
Would you please do what I ask? Snooks?
Speaker 5 (22:48):
I see you want me to be a liar.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Huh, honey, there's a difference between a bad lie and
a good lie. Good lies are called white lies. They
are yes, and the ones you're going to tell white lies?
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Maybe, but I think that did a little tackle tale
gray around the egg.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Please, honey, I made up with you for spanking you,
didn't I I bent down and let you kicked me
as hard as you wanted, didn't I?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
And I gave you a real good pick.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Of course. I don't think it was very fair of
you to put on ice skates first. Please, honey, will
you will? You do it? All right?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
But you're making a liar an me?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I know, and I'm a shaved all right? Come in, Higgins, yes,
mister Weish, Come on, Snooks. It's very nice of you
to see me. Mister Wimish, I was afraid maybe you wouldn't.
Never mind that. What do you want? Well, Snooks can explain.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Go ahead, Snooks, Well, there is spanked me, and I
wanted to get even win him, so everything I said
was a lie.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Wow, that's what you wanted Snooks to explain, Higgins, Yes,
mister Wiebish, Well, will you explain that to missus wiebish
Let me my job back?
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Higgins?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Do you take me for an idiot? The thing Snoop
said couldn't be made up by a child. They were
too natural. You and Verra said them, all right, And
you have the audacity and the lack of moral integrity
to bring your child here and make her lie to
get your job back.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Hmm, for shame. I'm sorry, mister Weebish.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
However, I never had such a wonderful dinner, such a
wonderful time in years.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
A wonderful time.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
I couldn't show it. I'd be afraid to.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But when Snooks called Martha sauer Puss and told her
she looked like a Saint Bernard, I could have died.
I haven't wanted to call her a Saint Bernard for years.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Oh, Higgins, I love you? What about my job? All?
Take a week? All for the time you get back.
Marcharel had forgotten all about it, and Snooks, Yes, mister,
I like you. You little monster, and I like you.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
You all wish.
Speaker 9 (25:15):
Daddy.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
It always pays to tell.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
A true yes, nooks, and I promise I'll never lie again.
Speaker 9 (25:22):
Yeahs, where are you going?
Speaker 5 (25:38):
All through the ice cream?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Paula?
Speaker 5 (25:40):
See I got forty cents?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Where did you get that much money?
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Well, I get a naughty and my mommy gave me
a dime.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Not to say it again, but where'd you get the
other thirty cents?
Speaker 5 (25:54):
I lost my place.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I got it.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Even though you got lost, it still sounds like a
rock business.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Yeah, and you got your naughty way for me.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
I'm strictly I'm afraid not starts better. I let your
dad here. You're using naughty words.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
You can't hear him when he gets married.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Probably your daddy's worrying nerve, that's bothering. Everybody has one,
you know, And then hurry and worries starts it acting
up and immediately starts your stomach pumping acid. Then comes
acid indigestion, heartburning, all the miserable distress of acid upset stomach.
That's why it's so wise to always keep tombs handy.
At the first hand of acid indigestion, eat a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Of tombs like candy.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
See how quickly toms soue the way your distress make
you feel fine again in no time, Get t u
ms tombs for the tummy right away. Still only ten
cents a roll, three year oll package a quarter everywhere.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Well here stocks again, Well sucks. Things turned out pretty lucky,
after all. I certainly learned my Listen, next time, I'll
think twice before I disbelieve you.
Speaker 6 (27:20):
I'm glad because Roxpere just had an accident and link
my fault.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Roxpierre accident. What happened?
Speaker 5 (27:28):
He took his hard nose and slammed it into my
poor little.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Fish comes it was really his fault.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yeah, and then he did something he even worse to me.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Oh you poor kid, What did he do?
Speaker 5 (27:43):
He took the seat of his pants and kicked me
in the lotto.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
None of this is your fault.
Speaker 8 (27:52):
He no.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Oh, good night, Nelly, good night Sam.
Speaker 11 (27:58):
No, everybody, friends, when you need a laxative, don't take
harsh acting drugs or phenal derivatives. There's a wonderful, all
vegetable laxative that's unbelievably gentle, thoroughly dependable.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It's nature's remedy.
Speaker 11 (28:14):
Better known as NR tablets because NR tablets are all vegetable.
They're mild acting yet effective leave you feeling grand. All
vegetable is the secret. Yeah at twenty five cent box
of NR tablet's plain or candy coated the all vegetable
laxative money back. If not delighted, remember n R Tonight
tomorrow all right.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
The Baby Snugshaw came to you from Hollywood and was
produced by Arthur Standard and written by said Darchmann and
Arthur Stander, also appearing in the cast for Arlene Harris's Mummy,
Rag Nelson, Alvy Alman, Can Christian Vivi Chalie. Don't forget
to listen to the Baby Snug Show every Tuesday at
the same time. This is Don Wilson reminding you the
night and day at home or away, always carry Tom's
(28:55):
Tums cover cover.
Speaker 11 (29:01):
Jerry Colonel and Bob Hobart together again on NBC
The Baby Snout Shawl, starring Fanny Bryce as Baby Snucks
but Hanley Stafford as Daddy and brought to you by Thumbs.
(00:23):
Does acid indigestion and heartburn hit you after your juice
and coffee in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We'll just eat a couple of tombs and.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
See how toms sweeten your stomach. Almost instantly, you feel
better fast a couple of tombs after lunch and after dinner.
Let you enjoy your food without fear of acid, indigestion
and heartburn. It toms tonight, and always keep them handy.
T u ms Toms for the tummy, guaranteed to contain
(00:49):
no soda.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Still only ten cents a roll three.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Year old package a quarter everywhere. And now to Sycamore
Terrace and the Higgins family. Well, to adults, the first
of the month usually means bills, but to children it's
even worse.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
It means report cards.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So now let's go to the fourth grade of the
Sycamore Grammar School where the teacher, Miss Teesdale is passing
out the bad news.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yes, Harvey, you did very well this month. And now
I come to Snooks Higgins Snooks Gestler's tea damp do
you see this.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Card I'm holding in my hands. Yeah, do you know
what it.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Is there at stake? No, it's in a cloud.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, it's your report card. And just listen to these marks?
Spelling for he, arithmetic for he? And how do you
account for this one? History?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Ten?
Speaker 6 (01:54):
I guess I've been spending too much time on spelling
and arithmetic.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Looks, these marks are abominable. And do you think that.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
One of my pupils should make such a horrible showing?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Well, don't my second in simple?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Looks? Don't you dare be pregnant?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
If anyone should be ashamed, it's you. Your report card
sets a new record for low marks for the entire
school year.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
I had a new record. Yes, and I why shouldn't
even trying?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Look that wasting enough time with you? I have other pupils,
you know.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Now.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You just take this report card home and see that
your father signs it.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
But if it will spank me, perhaps you deserve it.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I'm afraid to show it. Tom.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You will just have to face the situation.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I don't mind faces the situation, but he makes me
back into it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I want that report card back here tomorrow morning. Sign
by your father. Now we'll hear no more about it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
All right, it's very important that the dinner be perfect
tomorrow night for mister and missus. Wehebish, Well, what's so important.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
We've had them here before for dinner.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Well, the firm's opening, and you plant them. I'm hoping
to be the manager of it. If we give them
a good dinner, maybe he'll become expensive and offer me
the job.
Speaker 7 (03:28):
Well, I'm having turkey fine, cranry, sauce good, and I
think i'll make some of those dumplings like my mother
makes your mother's dumplings.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yes, they like expanded anybody, Oh, is that so.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
My mother's dumplings? They're wonderful. What's wrong with her dumplings?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
They're just like your mother, heavy, lumpy and don't agree
with anybody. And just when you think you've got the
things settled, they start talking back.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Land thought. My mother happens to be a very fine cook.
And you know very well she used to run a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yes, I remembered very well. It was the only restaurant
whose cooking was listed by Duncan Hines as subversive.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Very funny.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's true, believe me, your mother's food was dedicated to
the overthrow of the American stomach by force and violence.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
All right, I've all made dumplings. Don't make my own
special biscuits.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Oh you will, really your own special biscuit? Yeah, oh
very yeah, make dumplings. Now let's see with turkey. I
think a white wine would be good. I'm day please,
I'm busy the day.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
This is important.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Look, I'm planning at enough for my boss and his
wife later.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
But I want you to do this now.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
You always have to bother me. Look is it something
you can do yourself? Well, then do it yourself the day?
Do it yourself, all right?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
If you take I do tay so well. If he
wants me to do it myself. Lends a lot, Higgens.
See my report cay is all sign snoops, Higgins, that's
(05:26):
maschin Dale.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
About this report card of yours. You've signed your father's
name to it, haven't you sure? How can you lie?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Did you say sure?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You mean you mean you admit that you signed your
father's name to your report card?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
But that's forgery, snooks.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
You can go to jail for it.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Now, why did you do it?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I can go to jail for.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Years now answer the question.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
If you to answer on the ground that it might incriminate.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Snooks, you answered the question, or I'll have you held
in contempt of school.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
I mean, oh, now you're making.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Me do it.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Now, come on, Snooks, unless you want me to drag
you down to the principle.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
You tell me why you forged your father's name to
that report card.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Well, he told me too. He made me, he made you.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I don't believe it. It's true.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
He was really planning in the current ball.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh poppy cock, no turkey, I mean it's a lie.
No parents let his child sign his name to the
report card. Well he did, and he didn't even look Snooks,
your lyne. And I'm bringing this to your parents' attention
at once.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Now you come with me.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I'm a man to see my lawyer.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
Oh come, I can't believe it, Lancelot Teasel said, Snooks
forged your name to her report card.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
That's a little delinquent. Where in the world would you
get an idea like that? But then what can I
expect with the family. She comes from your side, of course,
my side.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Now just stop that.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Oh er, are you ignoring the fact that some years
ago your brother was put in jail for selling surplus
war materials.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But it was unfair.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
Lots of people sold surplus war material yes, but not
while the war was still on.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
All right, So Louis was the one exception in the family.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The one exception. How about your aunt Mabel, the shoplifter.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
She'll steal anything, And maybe it is not a shoplifter,
she's a cleptomaniac.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
It's a disease with the poor woman. She's been going
to a psychiatrist to find out where she got it.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well, I don't know where she got it, but I
guarantee she stole it. Anyway, I'm glad she's going to
a psychiatrist.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
She's not going anymore. The psychiatrist discharged her.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh then she's killing No, he.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
Got sore when he discovered his couch was missing.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
But the flit stuff, the snooks, is the problem.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
And you better have a talk to the right away,
a fine time.
Speaker 8 (08:03):
With the wimishes coming over any minute, How can I
keep my mind on anything? But you've got to settle
this thing before they get here. Oh all right, how
can you lie like that, your little monster?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
I ain't lions. You told me to sign a report.
God myself.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Why I'd never do a thing like that, but you
were ridiculous.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
For no, it ain't ridiculous.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
You wore bady with the dinner for the wimishes, and
you told me to sign it myself.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It did it?
Speaker 9 (08:37):
Did?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Do? Tell me that I remember no such thing, and
I have a memory like an elephant. I never forget
a thing. You're here, not a thing? Where were we?
Why did you play hooky today? It was the report god?
Oh yes, the report card. But where did you lose it?
I mean, why did you sign it? But you told
(09:00):
me to snooks. You are lying. I'd never do such
a thing.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Well you did, and I ain't lying.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
You are now, And if you don't admit it and
promise to tell only the truth, you're not getting any
of the wonderful dinner we're having for the weeishes. Now. Look,
it's not so terrible as long as you admit it.
All of us lie now and then I lied. I
even remember once when your mommy lied. I word yes,
when she told me someday i'd have a child. The
(09:32):
point is, unless you admit a lie, you'll go online
and then it'll become a disease, just like chicken pox
or the measles.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
You mean I'll break out in bibbs.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
No, I mean it'll get you into trouble. Look, maybe
I can explain this better with a story. It's about
the little girl who started out just like you, signing
her daddy's name to her report card and then lying
about it. She wound up in a prison.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
What's her name?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
She doesn't have a name. She has a number six, seven, one, four, three, five,
nine two eights.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
That's pretty long to remember. Doesn't she have her a
nat number? No, I want her to have a nick name.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh, sir, we'll call her six for short. Now let
me get on with the story. When number six was
a little girl, she got away with forging her father's
name to her report card. From that, she went to
forteing chicks. Then she met a man who was also
a liar and a criminal.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
What was his name?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
We'll call him eight. When eight and six met, do
you know what happened forty? No, they became a pair
of thieves, operating as a team. Finally they got caught
rubbing a bank. He's in jail for life and she's
still got ten years to serve.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Do you want this to.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Happen to you, it can happen to me, And why not?
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Because I didn't lie in the fly?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
That does it? You're going to admit you lied him?
Promise to tell the truth hereafter if I have to
spank it out of you, but I haven't been lying,
or you're still putting up an argument, all right, take
that care how you're going to promise?
Speaker 5 (11:26):
I probit, I promise, I'll just tell the truth. He'll act.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
That's better. Now, I'll get washed up and come down
for dinner with the Weebises, and don't be long.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I'll good even wake him. Simply wonderful, mister Wilson. I'm
like a new woman. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
No way, Wait a minute, what's wonderful?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Wonderful wonderful talk.
Speaker 7 (12:00):
Of course, thanks to Toms, I've said goodbye to sleepless
nights from acid indigestion.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I just take a couple of tons.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
At dead time and drift off to dreamland. Prado.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yes, Toms settle ensue upset stomach almost instantly, relieve heartburn,
ease over acid distress away, so you can enjoy eight
hours of natural sleep every night. Thanks to Toms, natural
sleep that PEPs you up. Is only natural sleep? Can
the natural sleep that follows tom.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I love toms for their convenience too. You don't have
to nay your nicks or steer anything. Just eat those
good tombs I can.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And remember friends. In spite of skyrocketing prices, you pay
not one penny more for tombs. Thumbs are still only
ten cents a roll, three roll package of quarter encounters
everywhere by the big economy box you get twelve ten
cent rolls for only one dollar. Get tums tombs for
the tummy this very night, and always keep tombs handy.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Else.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Nuxs is pretty mad at Daddy. Daddy falsely accused her
of lying and even spanked her for it. But right
now everybody is busy making final preparations for the dinner.
Dad is giving his boss, mister Weimish and Missus Wimish,
who haven't U yet arrived?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Oh gosh, I hope everything goes all right THEEA. Oh,
don't worry it with let's see, I'll sit on missus
Wemish's left hand, you sit on the right. How what
will we do with SKX I'll hold a leg down.
You will sit over there next to your mummy. And
for Heaven's sake, hush your table, mammas. I don't want
(13:37):
the Wemishes to think we've raised a little pig happenings.
Uncle Louis won't be here. His members are just ghustie.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
I think Donalois is very polite at the dinner table.
Oh you do, yeah, whenever your passion something, he always
tips his hat.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
You're not supposed to be wearing at in the house
in the first place. And forget Uncle Louis, it's your
man as I'm worried about.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Oh, stop picking on the child lamp.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Well, I'm not going to be embarrassed in front of
the Webishes. Some of her eating habits are terrible soups.
I don't want to see you soaking up the gravy
with the bread. Only a big dirty pick does that.
Speaker 5 (14:17):
But I like gravy.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
That's too bad? Can I stuck it up through a straw?
And another thing, I don't like your habit of standing
up when you want something and reaching way out with
your hand. You have a tongue, use it.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
All right, put my hand down much wrong?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I mean, asked for what you want? Say? May I
have the water? Please? May I have the butter. May
I have the roast beef?
Speaker 5 (14:53):
I thought we were having turkey.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Life, May I have the turkey?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
It ain't ready?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Do you have to take everything so literally?
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Oh Lancelot, please don't be so stern with her. She
starts to tell the truth. From now on, you don't
have to keep being angry with it, im all right,
all right?
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Gosh, I wonder what's keeping the Wimishes.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
It's probably missus Wemish. They all sala push sometimes. I
wonder how Wemish can stand it.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Well, he's no prize himself.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
He looks like an old Walls And after he's out
some of your mother's dumplings, you will probably sound.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Like, how do they ever meet in the first place?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I don't know, but there's a rumor but they both
belong to the same after shaves clubby How old.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Is missus Wemish anyway, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
It's amazing he looks like one hundred and twenty She does,
doesn't she? Of course, all those wrinkles don't help. What
a face. She looks like the Saint Bernard. Oh gosh,
what are they going to get? Sting on the sky?
And don't forget that this is a very important dinner
for us. I want to make a real impression on
(16:07):
the Wimishes.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I'll do everything.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Get on your pony, now go answer the door. Well, dear,
in a little while we'll be having dinner with the Weamishes,
and who knows, maybe it'll be the manager's job of
the new plants. Oh, I'm sure it will, Dear, there,
(16:30):
this turkey is just delicious.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Oh yes, it's certainly well. I'm so glad you're liking this.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Bread tastes so good soaked in this wonderful gravy. Would
you pass me another piece?
Speaker 5 (16:43):
All right? If you want to be a big dry pea.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
While shoes.
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Well, that's what you said about people who jump up
their gravy.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
She misunderstood, being mister Wemish. We all be soak our
bread in the gravy. I think I soak a piece,
all the piece of bread to soaking the gravy.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Love it, love it is we piece of bread.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Soaking your gravy.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
All right, snookes not me.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
I'm not take.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Snakes. Do you want to leave the table.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Well, I'm just saying what you told me before, that is.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yes, let's change the subject.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Really, Mistermish, it's wonderful having you and missus Weisho over again.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
It's been so long.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Oh yes, indeed, because it's not just business. I think
a lot of you, mister weish you do, yes, sir,
I'm soldier's beard.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Yeah, and they think you're an all wary.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Well, isn't that not worse? How can you say such
a thing?
Speaker 5 (17:55):
It's easy. I'm telling the true flags.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
You say, Okay, Well, I guess I know when I've
been insulted coming.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
By them the down harold, you are an old warres
beside ways intensive humor, but I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
How do you like it if they thought you were
an old walrus?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:13):
They don't think that she's an old warry.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
We thank Heaven for that.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
They think she's an old sour push.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
And you look over one hundred and twenty. You gotta
take like a sake.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Bana got a fish like well?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Well, I like Sapanard's too.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Do you ever carry a take of brandy under your necks?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Please? She doesn't know what she's saying.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
I do too.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
You spank me so I comic to tell a cup
and that's just what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
I've never been so insulted in my life.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Oh please, missus wemens, please, it's all of us, really, Harold,
don't just sit there, do something.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Serious and then fire him, fire him?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yes, but I haven't finished eating.
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Herod.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Can I have a few more potatoes first and then
break off the relationship, Harold, do what I say?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yes, I have a few more potatoes, mister weebishi's more
cried berry sauce. Just a bit? You're fired? More stuffing?
Woon cool? Maybe you're true. Never have my wife been
and soulda that she has here in your own home?
And I won't stand for it. Do you hear? I
won't stand for it? Uh, Patsy Gravey, you reconsidered, mister Weeby.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
No, he won't reconsider it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And Harold, I'm not saying you're another moment come home
this instant, ah, Harold, you seem to be taking.
Speaker 7 (19:49):
The fact that I've been insulted rather lately.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I'm coming, Yes, Higgins, I cannot tolerate such impertinence and
behind the back dis loyally as you're directed against me
my wife. I'm absolutely furious with you and wish.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Nothing further to do with you. Would you mind wrapping
this up for my dog, and perhaps another piece of
bread to soak in the gravy. Good day, Yes, and
do you have a tongue? Deer?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Those dumpling here you are held dot com on there,
I'm fired.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Yeah, sure looks like it, you little monster.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Come here.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I didn't do nothter. I just told her too that
I've got thankful lie.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yes, you told the truth, all right, and this is
what you're getting for us.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
What are you gonna say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Take up your mind, uncle, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll put your legal mind to work and tell me
how to get my job back.
Speaker 10 (21:00):
Well, this is really funny, Iggy. You spank Snooks in
the promising to tell the truth, then she crosses you
up and tells it at the wrong time. Yeah, you
just can't trust that kid. Oh the message she gets
me into. Sometimes I feel like quietly dropping her off
a bridge.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
He don't even talk that way. You couldn't do a
thing like that. I know I couldn't. There is a
bridge around here for miles.
Speaker 10 (21:25):
You know, Higgy, sometimes you're a pretty preoccupied fellow. How
do you know Snooks wasn't telling the truth about signing
a report card in the first place. Maybe you told
her too without realizing it, but I wouldn't be that
absent minded.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 10 (21:37):
I'll never forget the time Vera let you to take
care of all the kids and also prepared dinner.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
They got you so nervous that you didn't know what
you were doing. I don't remember that.
Speaker 10 (21:45):
I do When I came in, the roast beef was
in the bookcase and you were in the kitchen basting
the latest book of the month club selection.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hey wait a minute, Joan mentioning, didn I bring something back? Yeah,
yesterday when I was busy, we sees Snooks did ask
me for something, and I think I told her to
do it herself. Good happens. The kid wasn't lying, And
there's whole message of my own making. Now I'll never
get out of it. Oh well, there is one thing
(22:15):
you can try, but it'll mix things up even more.
What is it?
Speaker 10 (22:17):
It'll take Snooks to see Weenish and have her telling
that she was mad at you and everything she said
was lies.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
But to do that, I have to ask her to lie,
and i'd after spanking her for that very reason. Ironic,
isn't it, But can you think of anything else? I'm
going to hate myself? What else can I do? See
a lada kunk? Mister Weemish. You'll see us in a minute.
(22:45):
Would you please do what I ask? Snooks?
Speaker 5 (22:48):
I see you want me to be a liar.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Huh, honey, there's a difference between a bad lie and
a good lie. Good lies are called white lies. They
are yes, and the ones you're going to tell white lies?
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Maybe, but I think that did a little tackle tale
gray around the egg.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Please, honey, I made up with you for spanking you,
didn't I I bent down and let you kicked me
as hard as you wanted, didn't I?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
And I gave you a real good pick.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Of course. I don't think it was very fair of
you to put on ice skates first. Please, honey, will
you will? You do it? All right?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
But you're making a liar an me?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I know, and I'm a shaved all right? Come in, Higgins, yes,
mister Weish, Come on, Snooks. It's very nice of you
to see me. Mister Wimish, I was afraid maybe you wouldn't.
Never mind that. What do you want? Well, Snooks can explain.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Go ahead, Snooks, Well, there is spanked me, and I
wanted to get even win him, so everything I said
was a lie.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Wow, that's what you wanted Snooks to explain, Higgins, Yes,
mister Wiebish, Well, will you explain that to missus wiebish
Let me my job back?
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Higgins?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Do you take me for an idiot? The thing Snoop
said couldn't be made up by a child. They were
too natural. You and Verra said them, all right, And
you have the audacity and the lack of moral integrity
to bring your child here and make her lie to
get your job back.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Hmm, for shame. I'm sorry, mister Weebish.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
However, I never had such a wonderful dinner, such a
wonderful time in years.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
A wonderful time.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
I couldn't show it. I'd be afraid to.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But when Snooks called Martha sauer Puss and told her
she looked like a Saint Bernard, I could have died.
I haven't wanted to call her a Saint Bernard for years.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Oh, Higgins, I love you? What about my job? All?
Take a week? All for the time you get back.
Marcharel had forgotten all about it, and Snooks, Yes, mister,
I like you. You little monster, and I like you.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
You all wish.
Speaker 9 (25:15):
Daddy.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
It always pays to tell.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
A true yes, nooks, and I promise I'll never lie again.
Speaker 9 (25:22):
Yeahs, where are you going?
Speaker 5 (25:38):
All through the ice cream?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Paula?
Speaker 5 (25:40):
See I got forty cents?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Where did you get that much money?
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Well, I get a naughty and my mommy gave me
a dime.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Not to say it again, but where'd you get the
other thirty cents?
Speaker 5 (25:54):
I lost my place.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I got it.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Even though you got lost, it still sounds like a
rock business.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Yeah, and you got your naughty way for me.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
I'm strictly I'm afraid not starts better. I let your
dad here. You're using naughty words.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
You can't hear him when he gets married.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Probably your daddy's worrying nerve, that's bothering. Everybody has one,
you know, And then hurry and worries starts it acting
up and immediately starts your stomach pumping acid. Then comes
acid indigestion, heartburning, all the miserable distress of acid upset stomach.
That's why it's so wise to always keep tombs handy.
At the first hand of acid indigestion, eat a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Of tombs like candy.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
See how quickly toms soue the way your distress make
you feel fine again in no time, Get t u
ms tombs for the tummy right away. Still only ten
cents a roll, three year oll package a quarter everywhere.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Well here stocks again, Well sucks. Things turned out pretty lucky,
after all. I certainly learned my Listen, next time, I'll
think twice before I disbelieve you.
Speaker 6 (27:20):
I'm glad because Roxpere just had an accident and link
my fault.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Roxpierre accident. What happened?
Speaker 5 (27:28):
He took his hard nose and slammed it into my
poor little.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Fish comes it was really his fault.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yeah, and then he did something he even worse to me.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Oh you poor kid, What did he do?
Speaker 5 (27:43):
He took the seat of his pants and kicked me
in the lotto.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
None of this is your fault.
Speaker 8 (27:52):
He no.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Oh, good night, Nelly, good night Sam.
Speaker 11 (27:58):
No, everybody, friends, when you need a laxative, don't take
harsh acting drugs or phenal derivatives. There's a wonderful, all
vegetable laxative that's unbelievably gentle, thoroughly dependable.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It's nature's remedy.
Speaker 11 (28:14):
Better known as NR tablets because NR tablets are all vegetable.
They're mild acting yet effective leave you feeling grand. All
vegetable is the secret. Yeah at twenty five cent box
of NR tablet's plain or candy coated the all vegetable
laxative money back. If not delighted, remember n R Tonight
tomorrow all right.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
The Baby Snugshaw came to you from Hollywood and was
produced by Arthur Standard and written by said Darchmann and
Arthur Stander, also appearing in the cast for Arlene Harris's Mummy,
Rag Nelson, Alvy Alman, Can Christian Vivi Chalie. Don't forget
to listen to the Baby Snug Show every Tuesday at
the same time. This is Don Wilson reminding you the
night and day at home or away, always carry Tom's
(28:55):
Tums cover cover.
Speaker 11 (29:01):
Jerry Colonel and Bob Hobart together again on NBC
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.