May 9, 2025 • 18 mins
What does it feel like to get three beatdowns in one night—and not even be the one who started the fight? In this wildly entertaining and unfiltered episode of The Bama Brown Experience, Bama takes us on a rollercoaster of stories that are equal parts hilarious, jaw-dropping, and deeply human. From absurd travel warnings about Mongolia’s 93 mph winds to the surreal tale of a naked man wandering Disneyland, Bama and co-host Puma dive headfirst into the week’s most bizarre headlines.
But the real heart of the episode lies in Bama’s raw and riotous storytelling. He recounts a legendary night from his youth in Odessa, Texas—a night that involved a bar brawl he slept through, a mistaken identity beatdown by the police, and a mugshot that claimed he was 4'6" and 120 pounds. It’s a story so outrageous, you’ll be laughing and wincing at the same time.
Whether you’re here for the laughs, the nostalgia, or the no-holds-barred honesty, this episode is a perfect snapshot of what makes The Bama Brown Experience so addictive. If you’ve ever had a wild night that turned into a life lesson—or just love a good story told with grit and humor—this episode is for you. Subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a laugh (or a reminder that their worst night probably wasn’t this bad).
But the real heart of the episode lies in Bama’s raw and riotous storytelling. He recounts a legendary night from his youth in Odessa, Texas—a night that involved a bar brawl he slept through, a mistaken identity beatdown by the police, and a mugshot that claimed he was 4'6" and 120 pounds. It’s a story so outrageous, you’ll be laughing and wincing at the same time.
Whether you’re here for the laughs, the nostalgia, or the no-holds-barred honesty, this episode is a perfect snapshot of what makes The Bama Brown Experience so addictive. If you’ve ever had a wild night that turned into a life lesson—or just love a good story told with grit and humor—this episode is for you. Subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a laugh (or a reminder that their worst night probably wasn’t this bad).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey, folks, Bama Brown with the iHeart Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's the Bama Brown Experience.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Yeah, we came up with a name all by ourselves,
with any bring any research groups or do any kind
of focus groups.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We said, what do we call this thing? Bama Brown's real.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Okay, that's good, and we've got three hundred thousand shows
on the iHeart Podcast Network. One of the most popular
sports shows is my partner Puma, who has a sports
cave the Big Cat.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
How do I get that sports cave? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I appreciate the free promotion. As always, anywhere you get
your podcast, just do a quick search for the sports
cave with Biggest Puma. Should be should be pretty easy
to find these days. You mentioned the three hundred podcasts,
three hundred thousand podcasts on the network here, I'm still
debating at some point we might need to tap into
(00:52):
that true crime section because it seems like seems like
those are the ones that are doing really well.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Really well.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
That the majority the iHeart podcast guy I know him,
and he said the majority of what they have. They
have one hundred, one hundred different shows that have over
a million listeners, viewers, whatever you want to call it.
And then but the average ones like ten minutes, like
our podcast bout ten minutes, but a lot of most
of them are crime and drama, and a lot of
(01:19):
those crime and drama are real or not, you know,
fiction or anything.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, so I'm not sure what that says about us
as a society.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
We don't care what you listen to.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
After you're done with our two shows, and you can
listen to anything you want. But now you you travel
a lot, not not like all over the world, but
you were a traveler. You need to stay out of
Mongolia this time of year. And this is travel advice
from China. Well, I couldn't find Mongoli on a globe,
but the winds there are going to be expected to
(01:51):
be Are you ready for this ninety three miles per
hour the winds in this Mongolia place. So the government said,
if you weigh one hundred and ten pounds or less,
you don't want to be in Mongolia because you will
literally drop and blow away that day. You will be
blown away at ninety three miles per hour. So you
(02:12):
and I are safe. You're actually pretty thin.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
But I'm I think I'm good. I'd be okay, all.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Though, I'm like I'm a giant sale. Like you know,
if I'm wearing a baggy shirt, that thing's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Like this hull boat.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Just it might lift. If you're one hundred and ten
miles So even okay, ninety three mile an hour wins
one hundred and ten pounds person, even if you weigh
like one sixty, like one fifty. Yeah, you're just like
the average you know, like a like an average weight woman.
You're getting like it's gonna be hard to walk through
(02:46):
that the.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Walk are your shirt may blow off like you're talking
about with the shirt shirt you and you'd have to
go to Everything's a drop mo store and get you
another or whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Their money as bears or I don't know what Chinese
money yen uh yeah, whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is what I'm hearing is husband's men, start ordering, start
booking your trip to Mongolia.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I lost her linn got her. It blew her away,
and I looked for her for at a minute, and uh,
good finder. So but while I was there, I got
this Chinese bride, So that works out. My buddy, he
ordered a Chinese bride, he really did, and she moved
here and she only spoke Mandarin and h and she
(03:33):
learned English, and when she learned what allusory was from
getting the Chinese bride, she left him.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
That's always, I swear to God, that is always my
question with because I know, like the idea that that
actually happens and the fact that that is real still
trips my brain up so much. But the second part
of that is like when you order, you know, for
when I was, you know, when I was in high school,
the jokes were always ordering a Russian bride.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Russian bride. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
One of my buddies his his parents went through a
divorce and all of a sudden is married to a
Russian and we're all just like, dude, yeah, we know
he ordered like somehow ordered a Russian bride online, you know,
like we can all be on it and it again.
(04:20):
That didn't last very long, and I think probably about
the time she realized, like, holy hell, I moved here
to live with this guy.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I can do better.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It's like the first lady, you know, she if they
look like that, and most of them do, I'm like,
you get me one in Russians right now, you know,
I can, I can.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You know, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Even if it's long enough for them to get legal
status and then they leave you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
He sure, Hey, that's worth the investment. You know, I
got nothing to begin with, so I'm not gonna miss anything.
But wow, they're smoking hot.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And this guy's this Chinese bride for this guy that
worked with She was she was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
She didn't like me.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
She'd been told terrible things about me because she couldn't
speak English. But I'd say hello, and then I'd say Bama,
and she go, Ohbama, and then she diet all like
you could tell she'd been this guy been talking about me.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah, so you hear Bama, you run away.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
She she just had this she'd get this look on
her face, and she knew I was a bat.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Now it might have been accurate. I don't.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I didn't say it wasn't accurate. I'm just saying you don't.
You shouldn't have done that, you know. So I laughed
when she left him because.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
He was a loser. You know, he's a loser to
begin with.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But uh, I can't remember his name or i'd say
it even I don't even like a guy. Let's see,
I was trying to think something else. There was a
guy got arrested in Disneyland. He was at that New
Orleans the Square at Disneyland, and he was but he
was walking around naked, talking to everybody naked, completely naked in.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
The screams mental health breakdown.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
If you're anywhere where everybody else has got clothes and
you're naked, and really there's some signs or something to say,
don't do that, then you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You probably shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then the other idiot for the week, the New
Jersey kid nineteen years old, they got him for starting
that fire.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know, that's the biggest fire in New Jersey history.
That doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I mean New Jersey's you know, for the if you're
talking like square miles of what was set on fire,
I mean that was basically the equivalent of like the
whole Rio Grand Valley burning.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Fifteen fifteen thousand plus acres that this kid burned. Joseph
King Clean, Joseph Clean, nineteen years old. Joseph will spend
the rest of his life in the penitentiary for starting
a fire because somebody told him to do it online.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You know, because that's how you're that's how you're gonna
hurt Trump. You're gonna set a fire. This is Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Was it?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I didn't realize it was a that's the rumor.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That's one of okay rumors flying around now. I don't
know how true that is. And but uh, if there's
been enough for those, uh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Uh. And I was I was looking at did you ever.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Get for starting a fire? Me? I did, I woulde yeah,
I would imagine you might have had a bit of
a pyro streak.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
In When I was a kid, my mom and dad
left me, they went to town. I was old enough,
no better. I was twelve, and I was out in
the orchard and I had a pack of matches and.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I was bombing, you know, bombing Vietnam villages with my
napalm and the you know. And that's when I was
playing army, And all of a sudden, there's a feeling
where the fire gets out of control. I can't explain it,
but it's not a good feeling. It's like the worst
feeling in the world. And so I was stomping on it,
trying to put it out, and it just got more
and more, and I ran in the house and grabbed
(07:55):
a quilt. Now you could just grab any quilt. But
this was a farmhouse and it was a homemade guilt
my grandmother had made, and I used that to put
fire out.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
It was yeah, uh generate.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And then my mom and dad pulled up just about
the time I was finished stomping it out. And here's
how I really got slapped hard. It's when I said,
I looked out the window and this fire was.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And thank you, I was I was expecting hero, welcome.
Thank god.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I ran there and grab his quilt water put this
fire out because this thing had started.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And my dad, of course, well what do you think
started it?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I said, I don't know, lightning, I don't have any
you know, it's sonny out, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But thank god I was here to put it out,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And and my dad hit me as hard as I
think he's ever hit me. He slapped me so hard
I think my pants fell off.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It was that hard. You know.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It was like, uh, that's the times that he's me
over the years.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Was uh that one?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
And then probably I need to lay down and tell
this segment now, you know, like a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The second time.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
When I got when he come down to get me
out of jail. I've been in a you know, brawl
there and Odessa. We fought all the time in Odessa,
his kids, you know, but he had to this time.
They arrested me and took us, took us in, and
he came down and he was at the police desk,
and I remember I had to be eighteen, and I
(09:34):
told him, I said, I wasn't drunk. You know, of
course I was, but I said, hey, I wasn't drunk.
And he hadn't even asked me. He hadn't said a
word to me. But we're in front of this death sergeant.
He was paying the fifty nine and fifty to get
me out, and he backhanded me.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
In my I remember, my doll was going and then
the death sergeant. It was like cartoon.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
The death sergeant laughed so hard he had to put
his head down.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
He was laughing so hard, it.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Was it was he literally thought that was the funniest
thing he'd ever seen. My dad backhanded me, and my
dad said, not I god damn word out of you
till we get home. And then I'm gonna think about
what to do, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And then I mowed the yard.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Well, I was gonna mow the yard anyway, all the
times I had to mow the yard all summer and
you know other stuff. But uh, you know, I didn't
even do anything that time. I drank and passed out,
and then the brawl happened, and somehow I got I thought,
I came to Uma, you're judging me. People are judging me.
I came to it's an odessa. So I mean, we're
(10:42):
rough necks, all field trash, and we're always in fights
and stuff. You know, I'm drinking, yeah, exactly, thank you
didn't have any money for college. So uh, we were
in a club and I got so drunk, but I
literally passed out in the club. So they carried me
out and put me in the back of his car.
So on the way home, I'm out cold, ain't I
(11:03):
ain't involved in this. They get into a brawl in
an intersection with some guys, so I come too, and
I sit up and all I see is flashing lights
from police cars, and I go, oh my god, we've
been in a wreck. And I'm trapped in the car.
I mean, that's the first thing that I'm in here.
I'm in here, trapped, and all of a sudden, I'm
looking my hands in my feet and I go, hell,
(11:25):
I'm not even hurt. And so I look back out,
you know, and then and there must have been ten
guys that are handcuffed, you know, men cuffed and everything.
And I said, well, there's no reason for me to
get involved in all this. So I laid back down
in the seat. I just gonna ride to the m
pound yard with the wrecord, you know. And in this
deputy yells this extra County devities.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
They were known for their friendliness.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
He goes get aye cards of it. And I thought
I was sober, but I wasn't. I was still highly
in toxic and so when I it was a two door,
and so when I stepped out of the car from
the back seat, I tripped for the still drunk, and
I grabbed him by the uniform and we fell to
(12:13):
the ground with me on top of him.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, now you've been vaulted an office.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
There's there's a half dozen cops, you know, standing there.
They all look around and there I am on top
of their buddy. Now I know how Davy Crockett felt
at the Alamo at that point when they came in me,
every one of them, and they were swinging those clubs
and so I got a couple of punches in, you know,
I hit one or two, and then after that it
(12:38):
was a bunch of knots on my head.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
And then they threw me in the car. Would the
guys and even cuffed me as I beat up on
was they threw me in the car and I bounced
up against these guys that my buddies had been fighting.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Oh yeah, And this guy goes, you say, one guy
that way, I kick your ass. And I said, well,
apparently you just missed what happened out here. I've already
had my ass kick. That's we're done with that. I've
had Yeah, I'm good, you know. And I'm sitting there
going wow. And then the guy sticks his head in.
The sheriff sicks his head in. He goes, y'all drop
(13:13):
any dope in that car, and it's yours. And so
the guy on the end, and I don't know any
of these other three guys, and he goes, put your
hands in the screen. So everybody puts their fingers in
the screen, you know, the mesh screen. So we couldn't
get to the sheriffs, you know, so backseat of a
police car, so everybody's got their hands hooked in there,
and this dipity looks back in the car with the
(13:34):
door open, and he goes, guess you goddamn hands, and
he starts hitting my fingers.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
With his neckcloth because I can't get about. I'm stuck
a bit too far.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm like, So I finally get about, and now my
fingers are just like on fire. And then I look
at this guy and I go, you don't get to
make any more decisions.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You shut up. You don't get say another word, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And I'm sitting there with my fingers and these those
of the us were now they're all laughing, and everybody's
laughing because I've got my fingers. So we get down
to the jail and it's Odessa on a Saturday night.
So there's five thousand people there drunk, you know, cuffed
and against the walls and stuff. Okay, so I fell
on this deputy and these other deputies thought I had
attacked him, so they were going to get their payback,
not in an intersection, but down at the jail cell.
(14:22):
And so we're standing there and this deputy walks up
to this guy and it's too honest to.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
God, this guy looked just like me.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I mean like I was looking in the mirror, and
the guy asked him, He said, how much you had
to drink tonight? And the guy said, I don't know
how much you had, real smart ass. And they took
him around the corner. And I've never seen anybody get
beat that bad. I mean they were, and there was
a lot of them, and then my buddy Bobby eating
and you know I've talked about Bobby. Bobby realized what
was happening and stepped in front of me, you know,
(14:51):
because I mean we're all.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Just standing there. There's there's really three four hundred guys
just you know, piled up there. We're not even in
a cell. We're just in like a hallway. And Bobby's
say in front of me because he realized they got
the wrong guy, but there they thought it was me.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And so when the deputy, the one that that there
was kind of ramrod and everything, he's the one in
a suit coat, you know, he was, he was a hauncho.
He comes walking back headed to the to the front
and he looks over and glances at me and his
eyes go, wait a minute, that's the guy I got
that we beat the wrong guy up. But he was
happy because he beat up somebody, so he was like,
(15:26):
I let it go. So then they throw us in
the cell and and uh, we're there, you know, the night.
So then the next morning we get out. And then
that's when my dad came and beat me up in
front of that and man, I looked like my head.
I had knots and cuts and bruises, and man I
looked like I'd fell off a wagon or something, you know,
(15:47):
and crash around.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I'm imagining like one of those first one of the
first punching bags of guys that heights and went up
against where.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
He said, that's what I look like. Yeah, car partner
with a pro. That's mad.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've literally gotten when you think about it. I got
three ass whippings in one night and I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I mean, that's not fair. That's not fair. Ones And
and that's also I left out. This is the funny part.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
The poor little guy that took the mugshots his fingers.
He had arthritis. So we had to do our own
weight and height on this felt thing with these plastic numbers.
And so me and these guys we've been fighting with,
we're now buddies now. And the guy goes, I can't
find any threes. There's no threes in this plastic numbers.
And we're bigger because we're trying to get it accurate.
(16:41):
So I went ahead and made mine. I'm still drunk,
So I made mine four foot six, one hundred and
twenty pounds. And so, and I got haired on on
my should and so I take this mugshot and I'm
holding this and so I I had some other incidents
happened with the federal people. And the guy said, I
got to ask you about a mugshot because they got my,
you know, my file there and they're digging through and
(17:03):
there I was, eighteen years old, was long hair holding
up this slate. It says, so, and I'm laughing. I'm like,
you know, and it says, you know, it's four foot two,
fourteen pounds. I was just like and not telling him
the story, you know, and what happened. And I said,
you know, I said, night, I got in the area.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Look I beat up. I am man, But I was laughing.
I was still laughing.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
You know, Well the hell you're laughing now telling the story.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, there's there was a lot of those.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
But in my defense, I wasn't very smart, and it
was an oil field town and nobody of us had
a future anyway. There was going to be a war
somewhere soon, and we knew we were going to be
drafted and killed because we didn't have any money go
to college and we were all field trash.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
So why why would we have a future?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Are you get killed on a rig?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Had a bunch of buddies got killed in the oil field.
So that's that land man, That really is true. There's
safety not the number one concerned, At least back then
it wasn't. But that's uh that you kind of got
to insight into how awful I was, and.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Probably a hell of a way to end the week
right there, right.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
There, Yeah, telling every telling everything I shouldn't tell everything
I know, but I don't care.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
It's the Vamma Brown experience. Remember that's her motto. I
don't care. Thanks for listed
Hey, folks, Bama Brown with the iHeart Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's the Bama Brown Experience.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Yeah, we came up with a name all by ourselves,
with any bring any research groups or do any kind
of focus groups.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We said, what do we call this thing? Bama Brown's real.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Okay, that's good, and we've got three hundred thousand shows
on the iHeart Podcast Network. One of the most popular
sports shows is my partner Puma, who has a sports
cave the Big Cat.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
How do I get that sports cave? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I appreciate the free promotion. As always, anywhere you get
your podcast, just do a quick search for the sports
cave with Biggest Puma. Should be should be pretty easy
to find these days. You mentioned the three hundred podcasts,
three hundred thousand podcasts on the network here, I'm still
debating at some point we might need to tap into
(00:52):
that true crime section because it seems like seems like
those are the ones that are doing really well.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Really well.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
That the majority the iHeart podcast guy I know him,
and he said the majority of what they have. They
have one hundred, one hundred different shows that have over
a million listeners, viewers, whatever you want to call it.
And then but the average ones like ten minutes, like
our podcast bout ten minutes, but a lot of most
of them are crime and drama, and a lot of
(01:19):
those crime and drama are real or not, you know,
fiction or anything.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, so I'm not sure what that says about us
as a society.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
We don't care what you listen to.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
After you're done with our two shows, and you can
listen to anything you want. But now you you travel
a lot, not not like all over the world, but
you were a traveler. You need to stay out of
Mongolia this time of year. And this is travel advice
from China. Well, I couldn't find Mongoli on a globe,
but the winds there are going to be expected to
(01:51):
be Are you ready for this ninety three miles per
hour the winds in this Mongolia place. So the government said,
if you weigh one hundred and ten pounds or less,
you don't want to be in Mongolia because you will
literally drop and blow away that day. You will be
blown away at ninety three miles per hour. So you
(02:12):
and I are safe. You're actually pretty thin.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
But I'm I think I'm good. I'd be okay, all.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Though, I'm like I'm a giant sale. Like you know,
if I'm wearing a baggy shirt, that thing's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Like this hull boat.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Just it might lift. If you're one hundred and ten
miles So even okay, ninety three mile an hour wins
one hundred and ten pounds person, even if you weigh
like one sixty, like one fifty. Yeah, you're just like
the average you know, like a like an average weight woman.
You're getting like it's gonna be hard to walk through
(02:46):
that the.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Walk are your shirt may blow off like you're talking
about with the shirt shirt you and you'd have to
go to Everything's a drop mo store and get you
another or whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Their money as bears or I don't know what Chinese
money yen uh yeah, whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is what I'm hearing is husband's men, start ordering, start
booking your trip to Mongolia.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I lost her linn got her. It blew her away,
and I looked for her for at a minute, and uh,
good finder. So but while I was there, I got
this Chinese bride, So that works out. My buddy, he
ordered a Chinese bride, he really did, and she moved
here and she only spoke Mandarin and h and she
(03:33):
learned English, and when she learned what allusory was from
getting the Chinese bride, she left him.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
That's always, I swear to God, that is always my
question with because I know, like the idea that that
actually happens and the fact that that is real still
trips my brain up so much. But the second part
of that is like when you order, you know, for
when I was, you know, when I was in high school,
the jokes were always ordering a Russian bride.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Russian bride. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
One of my buddies his his parents went through a
divorce and all of a sudden is married to a
Russian and we're all just like, dude, yeah, we know
he ordered like somehow ordered a Russian bride online, you know,
like we can all be on it and it again.
(04:20):
That didn't last very long, and I think probably about
the time she realized, like, holy hell, I moved here
to live with this guy.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I can do better.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It's like the first lady, you know, she if they
look like that, and most of them do, I'm like,
you get me one in Russians right now, you know,
I can, I can.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You know, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Even if it's long enough for them to get legal
status and then they leave you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
He sure, Hey, that's worth the investment. You know, I
got nothing to begin with, so I'm not gonna miss anything.
But wow, they're smoking hot.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And this guy's this Chinese bride for this guy that
worked with She was she was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
She didn't like me.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
She'd been told terrible things about me because she couldn't
speak English. But I'd say hello, and then I'd say Bama,
and she go, Ohbama, and then she diet all like
you could tell she'd been this guy been talking about me.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah, so you hear Bama, you run away.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
She she just had this she'd get this look on
her face, and she knew I was a bat.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Now it might have been accurate. I don't.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I didn't say it wasn't accurate. I'm just saying you don't.
You shouldn't have done that, you know. So I laughed
when she left him because.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
He was a loser. You know, he's a loser to
begin with.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But uh, I can't remember his name or i'd say
it even I don't even like a guy. Let's see,
I was trying to think something else. There was a
guy got arrested in Disneyland. He was at that New
Orleans the Square at Disneyland, and he was but he
was walking around naked, talking to everybody naked, completely naked in.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
The screams mental health breakdown.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
If you're anywhere where everybody else has got clothes and
you're naked, and really there's some signs or something to say,
don't do that, then you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You probably shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then the other idiot for the week, the New
Jersey kid nineteen years old, they got him for starting
that fire.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know, that's the biggest fire in New Jersey history.
That doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I mean New Jersey's you know, for the if you're
talking like square miles of what was set on fire,
I mean that was basically the equivalent of like the
whole Rio Grand Valley burning.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Fifteen fifteen thousand plus acres that this kid burned. Joseph
King Clean, Joseph Clean, nineteen years old. Joseph will spend
the rest of his life in the penitentiary for starting
a fire because somebody told him to do it online.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You know, because that's how you're that's how you're gonna
hurt Trump. You're gonna set a fire. This is Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Was it?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I didn't realize it was a that's the rumor.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That's one of okay rumors flying around now. I don't
know how true that is. And but uh, if there's
been enough for those, uh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Uh. And I was I was looking at did you ever.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Get for starting a fire? Me? I did, I woulde yeah,
I would imagine you might have had a bit of
a pyro streak.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
In When I was a kid, my mom and dad
left me, they went to town. I was old enough,
no better. I was twelve, and I was out in
the orchard and I had a pack of matches and.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I was bombing, you know, bombing Vietnam villages with my
napalm and the you know. And that's when I was
playing army, And all of a sudden, there's a feeling
where the fire gets out of control. I can't explain it,
but it's not a good feeling. It's like the worst
feeling in the world. And so I was stomping on it,
trying to put it out, and it just got more
and more, and I ran in the house and grabbed
(07:55):
a quilt. Now you could just grab any quilt. But
this was a farmhouse and it was a homemade guilt
my grandmother had made, and I used that to put
fire out.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
It was yeah, uh generate.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And then my mom and dad pulled up just about
the time I was finished stomping it out. And here's
how I really got slapped hard. It's when I said,
I looked out the window and this fire was.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And thank you, I was I was expecting hero, welcome.
Thank god.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I ran there and grab his quilt water put this
fire out because this thing had started.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And my dad, of course, well what do you think
started it?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I said, I don't know, lightning, I don't have any
you know, it's sonny out, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But thank god I was here to put it out,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And and my dad hit me as hard as I
think he's ever hit me. He slapped me so hard
I think my pants fell off.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It was that hard. You know.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It was like, uh, that's the times that he's me
over the years.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Was uh that one?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
And then probably I need to lay down and tell
this segment now, you know, like a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The second time.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
When I got when he come down to get me
out of jail. I've been in a you know, brawl
there and Odessa. We fought all the time in Odessa,
his kids, you know, but he had to this time.
They arrested me and took us, took us in, and
he came down and he was at the police desk,
and I remember I had to be eighteen, and I
(09:34):
told him, I said, I wasn't drunk. You know, of
course I was, but I said, hey, I wasn't drunk.
And he hadn't even asked me. He hadn't said a
word to me. But we're in front of this death sergeant.
He was paying the fifty nine and fifty to get
me out, and he backhanded me.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
In my I remember, my doll was going and then
the death sergeant. It was like cartoon.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
The death sergeant laughed so hard he had to put
his head down.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
He was laughing so hard, it.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Was it was he literally thought that was the funniest
thing he'd ever seen. My dad backhanded me, and my
dad said, not I god damn word out of you
till we get home. And then I'm gonna think about
what to do, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And then I mowed the yard.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Well, I was gonna mow the yard anyway, all the
times I had to mow the yard all summer and
you know other stuff. But uh, you know, I didn't
even do anything that time. I drank and passed out,
and then the brawl happened, and somehow I got I thought,
I came to Uma, you're judging me. People are judging me.
I came to it's an odessa. So I mean, we're
(10:42):
rough necks, all field trash, and we're always in fights
and stuff. You know, I'm drinking, yeah, exactly, thank you
didn't have any money for college. So uh, we were
in a club and I got so drunk, but I
literally passed out in the club. So they carried me
out and put me in the back of his car.
So on the way home, I'm out cold, ain't I
(11:03):
ain't involved in this. They get into a brawl in
an intersection with some guys, so I come too, and
I sit up and all I see is flashing lights
from police cars, and I go, oh my god, we've
been in a wreck. And I'm trapped in the car.
I mean, that's the first thing that I'm in here.
I'm in here, trapped, and all of a sudden, I'm
looking my hands in my feet and I go, hell,
(11:25):
I'm not even hurt. And so I look back out,
you know, and then and there must have been ten
guys that are handcuffed, you know, men cuffed and everything.
And I said, well, there's no reason for me to
get involved in all this. So I laid back down
in the seat. I just gonna ride to the m
pound yard with the wrecord, you know. And in this
deputy yells this extra County devities.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
They were known for their friendliness.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
He goes get aye cards of it. And I thought
I was sober, but I wasn't. I was still highly
in toxic and so when I it was a two door,
and so when I stepped out of the car from
the back seat, I tripped for the still drunk, and
I grabbed him by the uniform and we fell to
(12:13):
the ground with me on top of him.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, now you've been vaulted an office.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
There's there's a half dozen cops, you know, standing there.
They all look around and there I am on top
of their buddy. Now I know how Davy Crockett felt
at the Alamo at that point when they came in me,
every one of them, and they were swinging those clubs
and so I got a couple of punches in, you know,
I hit one or two, and then after that it
(12:38):
was a bunch of knots on my head.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
And then they threw me in the car. Would the
guys and even cuffed me as I beat up on
was they threw me in the car and I bounced
up against these guys that my buddies had been fighting.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Oh yeah, And this guy goes, you say, one guy
that way, I kick your ass. And I said, well,
apparently you just missed what happened out here. I've already
had my ass kick. That's we're done with that. I've
had Yeah, I'm good, you know. And I'm sitting there
going wow. And then the guy sticks his head in.
The sheriff sicks his head in. He goes, y'all drop
(13:13):
any dope in that car, and it's yours. And so
the guy on the end, and I don't know any
of these other three guys, and he goes, put your
hands in the screen. So everybody puts their fingers in
the screen, you know, the mesh screen. So we couldn't
get to the sheriffs, you know, so backseat of a
police car, so everybody's got their hands hooked in there,
and this dipity looks back in the car with the
(13:34):
door open, and he goes, guess you goddamn hands, and
he starts hitting my fingers.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
With his neckcloth because I can't get about. I'm stuck
a bit too far.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm like, So I finally get about, and now my
fingers are just like on fire. And then I look
at this guy and I go, you don't get to
make any more decisions.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You shut up. You don't get say another word, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And I'm sitting there with my fingers and these those
of the us were now they're all laughing, and everybody's
laughing because I've got my fingers. So we get down
to the jail and it's Odessa on a Saturday night.
So there's five thousand people there drunk, you know, cuffed
and against the walls and stuff. Okay, so I fell
on this deputy and these other deputies thought I had
attacked him, so they were going to get their payback,
not in an intersection, but down at the jail cell.
(14:22):
And so we're standing there and this deputy walks up
to this guy and it's too honest to.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
God, this guy looked just like me.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I mean like I was looking in the mirror, and
the guy asked him, He said, how much you had
to drink tonight? And the guy said, I don't know
how much you had, real smart ass. And they took
him around the corner. And I've never seen anybody get
beat that bad. I mean they were, and there was
a lot of them, and then my buddy Bobby eating
and you know I've talked about Bobby. Bobby realized what
was happening and stepped in front of me, you know,
(14:51):
because I mean we're all.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Just standing there. There's there's really three four hundred guys
just you know, piled up there. We're not even in
a cell. We're just in like a hallway. And Bobby's
say in front of me because he realized they got
the wrong guy, but there they thought it was me.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And so when the deputy, the one that that there
was kind of ramrod and everything, he's the one in
a suit coat, you know, he was, he was a hauncho.
He comes walking back headed to the to the front
and he looks over and glances at me and his
eyes go, wait a minute, that's the guy I got
that we beat the wrong guy up. But he was
happy because he beat up somebody, so he was like,
(15:26):
I let it go. So then they throw us in
the cell and and uh, we're there, you know, the night.
So then the next morning we get out. And then
that's when my dad came and beat me up in
front of that and man, I looked like my head.
I had knots and cuts and bruises, and man I
looked like I'd fell off a wagon or something, you know,
(15:47):
and crash around.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I'm imagining like one of those first one of the
first punching bags of guys that heights and went up
against where.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
He said, that's what I look like. Yeah, car partner
with a pro. That's mad.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've literally gotten when you think about it. I got
three ass whippings in one night and I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I mean, that's not fair. That's not fair. Ones And
and that's also I left out. This is the funny part.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
The poor little guy that took the mugshots his fingers.
He had arthritis. So we had to do our own
weight and height on this felt thing with these plastic numbers.
And so me and these guys we've been fighting with,
we're now buddies now. And the guy goes, I can't
find any threes. There's no threes in this plastic numbers.
And we're bigger because we're trying to get it accurate.
(16:41):
So I went ahead and made mine. I'm still drunk,
So I made mine four foot six, one hundred and
twenty pounds. And so, and I got haired on on
my should and so I take this mugshot and I'm
holding this and so I I had some other incidents
happened with the federal people. And the guy said, I
got to ask you about a mugshot because they got my,
you know, my file there and they're digging through and
(17:03):
there I was, eighteen years old, was long hair holding
up this slate. It says, so, and I'm laughing. I'm like,
you know, and it says, you know, it's four foot two,
fourteen pounds. I was just like and not telling him
the story, you know, and what happened. And I said,
you know, I said, night, I got in the area.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Look I beat up. I am man, But I was laughing.
I was still laughing.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
You know, Well the hell you're laughing now telling the story.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, there's there was a lot of those.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
But in my defense, I wasn't very smart, and it
was an oil field town and nobody of us had
a future anyway. There was going to be a war
somewhere soon, and we knew we were going to be
drafted and killed because we didn't have any money go
to college and we were all field trash.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
So why why would we have a future?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Are you get killed on a rig?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Had a bunch of buddies got killed in the oil field.
So that's that land man, That really is true. There's
safety not the number one concerned, At least back then
it wasn't. But that's uh that you kind of got
to insight into how awful I was, and.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Probably a hell of a way to end the week
right there, right.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
There, Yeah, telling every telling everything I shouldn't tell everything
I know, but I don't care.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
It's the Vamma Brown experience. Remember that's her motto. I
don't care. Thanks for listed
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