Anxiety, Intrusive Thoughts, Depersonalization and Derealization Disorder with Lily Sais

In this episode of Walking on Feathers, Medium Kareen interviews Lily Sais, examining her journey from a self-proclaimed “former anxious person” to an anxiety coach and three principles practitioner. Kareen and Lily reflect on the Spirit and the universe’s energy bringing them together, as they share many experiences – such as experience with anxiety, depersonalization, and derealization – and are able to learn valuable lessons in life and spirituality.
Medium Kareen and Lily then dive into what the three principles of understanding are and what they can do for one’s mental state. These principles impact mental health, spirituality, and one’s ability to perceive their place in the universe. The principles of understanding are: Consciousness (understanding we are alive), Mind (understanding the energy and life force behind our life), and Thought (understanding that everyone thinks different types of thoughts). This leads to one of Lily’s foundational revelations that thoughts are neutral. The idea that thoughts are neutral allows one to let go and trust the universal powers at work in one’s spirit and release anxiety.


Medium Kareen Website and Social Media Information:

www.mediumkareen.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/mediumkareen?igshid=Zjc2ZTc4Nzk=
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mediumkareen
YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCDgvAzxdI_NJzs89NO_bxEg
Pinterest: https://pin.it/6D26Am7

Lily Sais Website and Social Media Information:

www.peace-from-within.com

Instragram: https://instagram.com/_peacefromwithin?igshid=YWJhMjlhZTc=
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@peacefromwithin
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@LilySaispeacefromwithin

Episode Transcript

(00:10):
Hi, everyone, Welcome to thisepisode of Walking on Feathers. I have
Lily here with me. She describesherself as a former anxious person. You
are a school psychologist. Is thatcorrect? Yes? Well I was.
I'm not practicing anymore. But youare very passionate about anxiety and panic disorders.
Is that's correct? Yes? Yes. Now I'm an anxiety coach.

(00:32):
So, former anxious person and formerschool psychologists, now a coach. So
now you're coaching people to help alleviatetheir anxiety symptoms. Yeah. So can
you share a little bit about yourstruggle with anxiety. Yes, I was
definitely an anxious kid. I thoughtI was really sensitive to hearing about the
news or in movies if people died, especially parents. I grew up in

(00:57):
the eighties and the nineties, andI mean, maybe that's probably still the
case with movies today, but Ifeel like parents were always dying. I
saw the Witches and the parents diedin a car crash, and I just
felt like in movies you would seelike bank robberies, plane crashes, car
crashes. And my parents they arealive and healthy and full of life in
their seventies now, but they wouldtravel and go out to dinner a lot,

(01:19):
and it seemed really scary to me, always just like, oh my
god, they could die in acar crash, they could die in a
plane crash. And I would dolittle rituals to kind of like soothe myself
with some of that magical thinking ofif I pray, if I smell my
mom's sweaters, like I could keepmy gosh, it's so horrible, I
know. And I always thought theywere going to abandon me too, which
is very strange because I saw aPunky Brewster and in that TV show,

(01:42):
Punky's parents left her. And sountil I was like eleven, almost every
day, I especially if we'd goout and be like, Okay, they're
going to abandon you today, andlike my rational brain, I remember being
eleven and I was in sixth gradeand my mom was like a few minutes
late, and I was like today'sthe day, and my brain being like,
but why would they wait this long? Why would they wait? And
it was like there just wasn't agood time. So it just came on

(02:05):
out of nowhere. It was justyour personality. There wasn't any child too
trauma associated with it. No,I didn't have a childhood trauma. You
know. I was also just bornkind of more sensitive to noise. And
I think what I wish I knewthen was that just because we have a
thought doesn't mean it's true, youknow, or even if we feel it
strongly doesn't mean it's true. BecauseI would my heart would break when I

(02:27):
would picture my parents dying, andI somehow thought that that strong sad feeling
was like like validation, like thesethoughts could be true. So it feels
like it's part of you when youhave those thoughts. Yeah, and so
now a lot of my work Italk about thoughts. I can kind of
fast forward through my adults. Soit was kind of manageable and fine being
a kid and teen, I definitelyhad anxiety, and I think I managed

(02:51):
some of that with alcohol, drugsand eating disorders same same, same,
Yeah, I said, to seethe link between eating disorders OCD, I'm
like, isn't it all you know, not that there's to be a label
either. But and then I hadsome good times mental health wise, and
great things in my life, obviouslyalso when I was a kid, but

(03:12):
I really became obsessed with health,like health ANXIDEOCD or like orthorexia, after
the birth of my daughter, soI kind of fell back into that eating
disorder, but that was also anxietyand OCD, and that was when my
mental health probably got bad and Ihad a panic attack, and that panic
attack, I had de realization anddepersonalization, and so it felt like for

(03:35):
a while it was like before panicattack and after. So the level of
anxiety that I felt like before waslike whatever, that's like child normal,
Like after, yeah, like that'sfine, even though obviously it wasn't with
the health anxiety stuff. But Ialways had a fear of insanity because my
people say mental illness. Friends inour family and people would say, like

(03:57):
my grandma went crazy, which theydon't really say anymore, but it was
this vague thing again seeing how mentalillness was portrayed in the media in the
eighties and nineties, and when Iexperienced de realization and deep personalization, I
was like, oh my god,I could lose my mind. This was
so scary, so kind of aboutlike opening a horrible Pandora's box of like

(04:18):
jumped to the next level of likeso scared. And I had my panic
attack when I was driving on thefreeway. Oh, we had so much
in common. I just got thechills. This is crazy. We've never
met before you guys, I foundyou on Instagram. This is our stories
are so similar. Anyways, continue, Okay, I know I want to
hear yours too, but I'm sureyour listeners might already know it. But

(04:40):
so that just changed everything because Ialso I was a school psychologist at the
time, a mom living in LosAngeles where a lot of people drive,
and I really bumped up working onmy mental health, working on having a
great night routine, a great morningroutine, all the things that you like
unquote should be doing. And Ijust kind of had this narrative like I'm

(05:02):
different, you know, like myex husband at the time could like stamp
late and like smoke weed neat food, and I like had to regiment it.
I was like I could go crazy, like I have to be in
bed, Like I have to besleeping by ten, I have to do
my meditations in the morning. Itwas like, I got to get up,
I need to do my meditation andto eat, I need to like
my mantras, I need to meditateand pray and like I and all of

(05:27):
it can be good. It wasnot for me because you have to do
what you have to do it andit's just creating more anxiety. Yeah,
and I just it was too much, like I just needed to do less
so because what I needed was justto like chill out and enjoy life and
not try so hard. So thenI found the three principles understanding after seven

(05:48):
years of struggling with like DPDR depersonalizationand de realization and panic attacks. I
didn't have it the whole time ofseven years, but that time of like
real struggle with panic driving, andI didn't actually know that it was called
depersonalization and de realization. I justthought it was a panic attack. But
I'd never met anybody that experienced it. And so my psychiatrist was nice.

(06:13):
I just didn't think he liked me, and he would say, like,
this is a panic attack, butI was like I'm dying, you know.
Like it was like, but I'mgoing insane, like you know.
But then I put into the internetlike anxiety help one last time, and
up pop this woman who's one ofmy dear friends now, Sary Taylor,
and she was talking about the threeprinciples, and I got like a video

(06:34):
every day for five or seven days. It was just thirty minutes and it
changed my life. I realized thatmy wisdom and common sense had gotten me
through every panic attack, so Ididn't and these were the insights that I
had. So I just was like, oh my gosh, because I would
think and try so much. Ohokay, what if I'm going to do
if I have a panic attack andalways on guard, you know, waking

(06:55):
up, scanning and planning. AndI realized I just saw my panic attacks
in a different light also, likeI got through them and maybe I didn't
need to try as much. Sothat was one huge insight. And then
I really learned about thought that Ididn't have to take my thoughts so seriously
and I didn't do anything for themto leave, you know, because thoughts

(07:17):
flow. Because I also was doinglike thought work and positive thoughts and tapping,
and I was doing all this stuffand like shake it out and yoga
therapy and like he you know,and I can be into all of this
stuff, but it was not whatI needed because all it did was like
I was using my brain so much. So with the three principles, I

(07:38):
realized I did not need to doas much and in fact, what I
was doing was probably part of thecause of why I was so hyper vigilant
and anxious all the time, andit changed my life. So that was
about five years ago, and Ijust kind of got into the Three principles
and learning about it. And theyhad an evidence based curriculum that you could
bring in the schools called the Sparkcurriculum, and as a school psychologist,

(08:01):
I got trained in that, andI just got curious. And then I
had always wanted to work with adultsas well. I had done some stuff
with eating disorders and mom and daughterstuff. But then the pandemic started and
so many more people were online,and I thought, I'm going to do
a course and help because I hadstruggled so long with anxiety and panic and

(08:22):
a lot of the traditional stuff didn'twork, especially derealization and deep personalization,
the grounding exercises and like name fivethings you see. And I also one
thing I struggled with was I wouldunintentionally hold my breath and then my breathing
would become disregulated. But I hadbeen trained in meditation and mindfulness to teach

(08:43):
it in schools, and being inLA I did a lot of breath work.
You know, I have breathwork studioshere, and so when I would
go and do like square breathing andbelly breathing and go to breathwork classes and
everything just messed me at more,Like I would be like, I literally
don't know how to breath effortlessly,like I would forget and I couldn't.
I was so hyper focused on mybreathing. So I felt like a real

(09:07):
failure because when I would do youknow the name five things you see or
grounding anything, it just would likeinstantly make it worse. And so I
got really excited to share how youknow, if there are people like me
that like, actually the more doingwas not helpful, and how simple it
can be, and how actually fora lot of people that could be can

(09:30):
tend to get high strung and thinkand think and think, how the simplicity
is the answer. So I madea course or like a live group that
I was going to run and startedsharing on social media in September twenty twenty
and people really like my videos andmy group and my business really took off.
And so that is my that's mystory. So it's funny because I

(09:52):
said a prayer. So I amat the seven year mark with dp DR.
I had it in fourth grade.Happen, just remember it happening.
And then Aol dot com was popularat the time. I met this psychologist
in Germany and he I told himmy symptoms and he said, you have
PTSD. So I asked my hometo take me to the library and I
started researching it, like trying tofigure out what was wrong with me.

(10:15):
I had a severe, severely abusivechildhood though, so I know that's what
caused it. Anyways, it endedup going away on its own. And
then seven years ago, maybe eightyears ago, my best friend passed away
and I was there when she died, and like three months after that,
bloop, it happened again and eversince. And then I had postpartum depression
postpartum anxiety. Like our stories areso similar, it's crazy. And again

(10:39):
it has it. It's like you, It's been there, like in the
background, and it hasn't been assevere as it can be. But my
dad recently passed away in July,and I was just trying to move on
with life and I was driving andI had the worst panic attacked you.

(11:00):
Like I literally swear it was likeI was viewing myself from like the left
hand corner of the car, Iwas like, felt completely disconnected from my
body, so scary and so anyways, after that, I started looking into
it and I stumbled across this guywho had written a manual. But somebody
in my family had recommended ketamine infusiontherapy, so I started doing that and

(11:22):
that helped pull a lot of thetrauma out of my subconscious And I processed
that with a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist, so that has helped a lot.
But recently I met with a psychiatrist. I'm like, I feel like my
anxiety is gone, but I stillhave the DPDR and they don't understand it.
I feel like doctors don't understand it. The only people who understand it
are the ones who have it.Yeah, has that been your experience as

(11:46):
well? Yeah, I haven't metany psychiatrist, doctor, a therapist that
has understood it, you know.But the thing is I got peace from
it. When I really feel likeI healed from like disordered anxiety, like
I my well being rosy. Thatwasn't necessary for me to have somebody understand
it. But because I felt Idon't. I don't know, but I

(12:09):
have had that feedback from a lotof people that especially that I've worked with
and some of them have worked withmy amazing mentors, who are you know,
really so knowledgeable, but when you'rein it with DPDR, because they
would say what made it the differencewas because I experienced it and so a
lot of people. And also Ithink when I talk about it, even
though it's not it's something that I'llsometimes experience but very very mildly. But

(12:35):
yeah, you can't talk unless you'veexperienced that you don't know because it's really
like it's like nothing that it's reallylike nothing that we've experienced. If you
haven't, it's a shitty thing tosay, but yeah, right, And
that's why I said, like normalanxiety, I've had anxiety my whole life,
had panic disorder my whole life.I said, that was easy compared

(12:56):
to this, because this is allgame changer. I like to explain mine
as like it's kind of like eatingand edible, like you're like tripping out.
You feel completely disconnected and you havethere's no rhyme or reason, which
is why I feel like I gotinto smoking weed and drinking because it would
help me like less than the symptoms, or I could blame the symptoms on
the substance. Yeah. So,but recently I've realized I found you.

(13:20):
It was weird. I like seta prayer. I'm like, please help
me. I'm sick of struggling withthis. I found that guy's manual and
then I stumbled across you and youwere talking about how you're not your thoughts.
In spirituality. With mediumship, wetalk a lot, or we do
a lot of work with like becomingthe witness to the thoughts in order to
connect with spirit. So it's kindof the same thing where you're just witness
seeing the thoughts. But what youhad said that really helped was not giving

(13:43):
them power. You don't have tobelieve them. So that's been really helpful
for me. And then also toknow I've found you and some other people
that have suffered from it, thathave healed from it, which has helped
me not feel like I'm going crazy. Yeah. Yeah, And I think
when you start it out saying thatyou experienced trauma and so it came as

(14:05):
a defense mechanism, you know,and that was probably appropriate because that was
if you were to fully be inyour body and mind and absorb the impact
of the trauma, it would havebeen too much so your body, mind
and soul stepped in and you wereremoved. But what can happen is just
like you know, you and Iwhen we're driving, we have so much

(14:26):
thinking going on that our brain justinterprets it as this is it's too stressful
in here, We're going to removeyou. But we freak out because in
a way we're like, wait,I'm just driving, like I'm not experiencing
a trauma. But my teacher explainedit to me, was it is a
defense mechanism, but it's also likean intelligent symptom and just letting us know

(14:50):
when we are having too much noisein our head, we have too much
stressful thinking that the balance has tippedbetween like time and our head and you
know, stressful thinking kind of beingat a quiet piece. And so when
you said there is no rhyme orreason, there is you know, there
is a there's no blame because wedon't have to see it, you know,
and I can notice it earlier.It was my birthday a couple of

(15:11):
months ago, many like six monthsago, and I was having people over
and I was just tidying up,and I had remembered one of my friends
who's just the best hostess and Iwas like, oh, my gosh,
how's everything going to look? Andmy boyfriend was talking to me, and
I felt like dissociated a little bit, and I was like, oh when
I said that, oh, itwas like I can this. It's not

(15:33):
stressful, like it's okay, likethat let me know that I was putting
too much pressure on myself, youknow, Okay, I love that seriously,
And it was like, oh,you know, and so I just
I saw it, and so nowI'll see it earlier where oh, I'm
just you know, if I couldthink I'm just really caught up about my
business, you know, which issomething that I'm still learning of how not

(15:56):
to take running my own business andwanting to be sick successful too seriously,
because when we are too serious orin our head, you know, we're
not really in harmony, you know. And so that's kind of where I
see it as an intelligent symptom reallyjust kind of just like a hunger signal
or you know, if we werein this sitting in these positions for too

(16:18):
long, eventually we'd start to getuncomfortable and we would kind of move.
And so I do feel like withde realization and deep personalization. It's a
friendly signal with information from love.And the doctor Pettit those are his words.
He calls anxiety symptoms or any symptomslove letters, and he was the
one who said a friendly signal slashwith information slash from love. I love

(16:45):
that because now as you're talking,I'm reflecting it's and I'm thinking every time
it's happened. I am the typeto be in my head and also a
perfectionist and also put too much onmy plate. So like in this moment,
like the last couple of months,I've I can everything off of my
plate and just spend time being okaywith being lazy. Like I've never been
okay to be like take the dayoff and lay in bed and watch Netflix.

(17:08):
I can't even if I do that, I'm still like planning or organize.
I'm always in my head. SoI've been forcing myself to do more
physical activity, like go for awalk to get me out of my head.
I've been doing that a lot,just because I got a puppy.
But how you said the whole morningroutine, it's so funny. I am
doing that. I get up atfive o'clock in the morning and I do

(17:29):
my guide of meditation. I tellmy husband I have to get nine hours
of sleep. So you just mademe aware, like, no, that's
not healthy. You stop doing that. Well, the thing is is not
not healthy, it's the spirit thatyou're doing it in. So if you
love your morning routine and you doit because you like to get up at
five and it feels really fun tomeditate and have this morning great, you

(17:52):
know, Or if you love earlybecause you say, I just feel so
good when I get nine hours ofsleep, But the underlying understanding is you
know you are okay no matter what. You know, you are made of
wisdom and common sense, and youknow that you will be fine if you
get five at only five hours,because you might not feel your best,

(18:14):
and you love to at least getseven hours, you know. But I
think for me that that it's adifferent energy, you know, when it's
like I have to not a wantand I don't, I could lose my
mind and I'm different and I'm brokenand I'm barely hanging on. Where I
love to walk, I love toexercise, you know, because I have
diabetes, but also it's great formy physical and mental health. But I

(18:37):
don't. I don't actually think aboutit like I don't. I mean the
day before. It doesn't take uptoo much of my thinking, like got
it, yes, you know?Or and I like to. I have
no idea how many hours of sleepI get now. I never even think
about it. But of course,like I like to like kind of come
up to bed, I don't know, around eleven. But I never think
about the hours of sleep because Iknow. But I'm not saying it has

(18:59):
to be either. But it's nothaving a night routine or a morning routine.
It's not good or bad, justas even walking or meditating. It's
just the spirit that you're doing itin. And if you're doing it in
knowing with an understanding, you know, kind of the understanding that we're talking
about being great, you can doit or not do it. Yeah.
I love to go to bed earlybecause I love to get up early.

(19:22):
I have three kids. I liketo have my morning time and just set
the tone for the day. Yeah. Yeah, then that's great because also
even if you're like, oh,I've been telling myself I have to get
I have to. No, it'sthat I like to that just like I
feel like energetically received better in yourbody because that if we're thinking, oh,
I have to like that kind ofis like fight or flight for our

(19:45):
body. You know, that mightbe setting us up for more de realization
and deep personalization because more of thetime we want our body wants us to
be in balance. It wants usto have a good balance of like a
quiet peace and like not that muchstressful thinking. And so even though it
can be well intentioned, like Igotta have my morning routine and I gotta
if it's stressful thinking, it tipsthe balance and if it can just be

(20:08):
I love this it, do youknow what I mean? Like I can
It's so funny. The last coupleof months, I've realized I'll put fun
things on my plate, but thenit feels like a chore. So if
it starts to feel like a chore, that I tell me I don't have
to do this, Like when itbecomes a half to then I don't.
I shouldn't be doing it. It'sso weird too, because I feel like
the anxiety has forced me to dothings from a different mindset. Like before

(20:32):
I would go to the gym tobe skinny, and now I want to
go to the gym because it makesme feel good mentally, because I sleep
better and I feel better. SoI feel like I'm at towards the end
of it where I'm starting to flipit. But holy shit, like when
you're in the middle of DPDR,what would you say like your experience with
it? Like, how would youdescribe your experience with it? I did
feel in a way like when yousaid, you know, taking it edible.

(20:56):
I think for me it felt likein a way like I would up
to the underworld or something like,yes, like the same neighborhood that like
looked normal, but like in ascary movie when it's the underworld, it
has just a creepy vibe to itsstranger things, stranger things like it's just
like the whole thing. And Iwas would be very scared to look at

(21:18):
people or look them in the eye, like just seeing somebody is scary,
which it's hard to explain, butit was without hearing your own voice.
Would that like make it worse too? Yeah? At times? Yeah,
at times definitely, I wouldn't wantto hear my own voice or see myself.
Yea. Yeah, it had ascary feeling, and I guess the

(21:41):
also scary feeling was like ominous,like bad stuff is gonna come like you
could just lose control and go crazy, and like like you know, it
was it was that anticipation feeling orlike like you know when you're in a
scary movie and the music is buildingand you know something. Yeah, I've
been like I just would have thatfeeling too, like it could get worse.

(22:03):
And so I kind of was soon guarded, like I don't want
to be scared even more. Anddid you have intrusive thoughts as well?
Yes, I did. I'd likethat I could lose control or like when
I first had it, it waspaired with intrusive thoughts. So I was
on well, Butron and I hadbeen on it before, just for a

(22:23):
few months. And then I gotoff and then I went back on and
I cycled myself up faster than mypsychiatrists recommended. And it was the worst
idea, and right before I hadmy first panic attack and first experience of
de realization and deep personalization, Ihad like lost my idea. It wasn't
really hungry, and I kind offelt like speedy, but I was chopping

(22:44):
with a knife and I just hadthis like I could chop my hand off.
And then I was driving in thecar, and I actually felt like
euphoric, and then it felt likeI just had this thought like I could
just fly, I drive my caroff this little overpass, and then it
was like instantly panic, de realization, depersonalization. And so with mine,
it was like I guess it waspaired with that, and when it came

(23:07):
it felt like I could just likehurt somebody or lose control. So those
yeah, same or like I rememberbeing at like a crosswalk and like,
oh my god, what if myfoot flips off the brake onto the gas.
Yes, And so mine I wouldhave those thoughts even outside of de
realization, mine were a lot likeI think I underneath it was I recognized

(23:29):
the power of having a vehicle,and for a long time, even so,
sometimes i'd put my car in partbecause it was just like why are
you crossing in front of me?Like it's funny that hate it. Sometimes
I have to look away. I'dlike I don't want to look at you.
And then I just didn't think muchabout it and it kind of has
fallen away. But sometimes I feelthis energy when someone's walking in front of

(23:52):
me, just because like I wantthem to be safe so much, and
I'm like, oh my gosh,yes, all the strange things that can
happen with intrusive thoughts, because Ithink at the base of it, it's
this precious life is walking in frontof us and we want to keep them
safe, but it all gets muddiedand then it's like this world is so
dangerous. What helped me is Isaw something about like breaking from your thoughts.

(24:14):
I don't know if it was fromyou or for someone else, but
whenever I have the intrusive thought orthe deal realization starts all like focus on
something or I'll start counting back whereit's from five to one and I won't
let the I feel like de realization. There's like stages, and I always
describe it like one through four.So if you hit go back to two,
it's like, Okay, you gottastop these thoughts and order. Maybe

(24:36):
that's not a good way to explainit, but like pull yourself out of
it so it doesn't go back tothree, because if you hit a four,
that's like full blown panic. Solike focusing on something like Hawaii or
five four three two one and likejust cycling that through my mind to break
the pattern of the intrusive thoughts hashelped me. Have you done that?
That stuff doesn't work for me?But I love talking about different ones that

(25:00):
when I was really struggle with itthat when I, for me, I
can't like try anything like that becauseit's with the intention I want this to
go away. This isn't safe.So I got it, and so you're
focusing on yeah, like go away, go away instead of just allowing yeah.
And I think for me, becauseof my experience, when I did
so many techniques, it just madeit worse. So I'm like, for

(25:22):
me, it's I don't do anythinglike that, but I'm not knocking it
because I think that's great for you. And for me, I think I
just noticed it earlier because more ofthe time I feel good and so kind
of like with that example, likeif I notice it, I'm more like,
oh, I was taking life tooseriously and it's not that serious,

(25:45):
and I don't do I don't tryto do anything. I allow time to
bring back that normal feeling. Andso I think it's more of like a
knowing and oh, if I,oh, look, I'm putting pressure on
myself. I've got a noisyhead andjust kind of like dropping the thought because
I guess I know that thoughts aretransient, you know, they just come,

(26:07):
you know, And so if it'snot that big and scary and important,
you know, I'll just it willbe replaced by a new thought.
But like, so it's just kindof I could I guess a different knowing
and a different feeling, Like justas if I noticed that my leg was
sleeping because I was in this positiontoo long, Like, I don't really
have to think too much about it. There's just a natural tendency to shift
your position. So I think ifI sit, I have more of a

(26:30):
natural tendency to just get present andremember, oh, I was a human
and just started thinking too much andputting too much pressure on me. Yeah,
I feel like you have learned notto trust them. I feel like
a lot of people put a lotof weight on their thoughts and they claim
it as their identity, and that'swhere we go wrong and it makes anxiety

(26:53):
so much worse. And then Ithink for a lot of people, because
I know, we try to thinkour way out of it, you know,
right, And what I a lotof it is like we need to
send our brain on holiday when itcomes to de realization and mental health,
Like our brain is so great,but its job is to keep us safe,
not to keep us happy, andit just overreacts sometimes. It's like

(27:18):
an overprotective bodyguard. And also ourbrains just always sharing its opinion, narrating
our experience. It would rather overreactbecause that's how we survived this long.
So when but we have something thatpowers the brain, that's our wisdom and
common sense, and that's always goingto keep us safe and always going to
bring us back to balance. Andso I more embrace wisdom and common sense,

(27:41):
this thing that's actually doing life.Like I love my brain and I
use it when I want to rememberthat I have a zoom meeting and I
want to remember I don't know,but like for mental health, like I
don't use my brain. Yeah,I love that's really really helpful. Yeah,
Like you can use your brain fora recipe, but when it comes
to like how you feel about yourself, you don't have to listen to it.
I mean we can, there's nothingwe are free to do it.

(28:03):
But then when we can realize,oh, like because our brains, like
you're going to lose control, youcould do that, Like it just is,
especially when we're not in a greatstate of mind, then our thoughts
tend to be off base. Andso I really know, anytime I don't
feel good, I don't pay attentionto my thinking, but I get so
excited because thoughts flow. That's justthe nature of thoughts. So even if
I like even today, like Idon't know, I had a lot of

(28:26):
thinking about something I was going toI had to get like an ultrasound on
my breast after a mammogram and stuff, and I just was also like thinking,
I have other meetings and stuff.And so there was a bus in
front of me and there was aman's face you know, it was like
lawyer and like, and it waslike who hurt you? And like,
I don't know, I just gotlike a weird vibe, like weird like
looking at his face, and Iwas like, but I'm like, oh,

(28:47):
and I don't do anything because Iknow that thought's going to flow right
out. But if I was like, oh my god, why do I
have it? Is the realization coming? Like if I like added on to
it with my thoughts. But Iwas fine, yeah, yeah, who
are you? Look? What isit? Like I think when people have
experienced it, they know what I'mtalking about of how just seeing something weird
can sometimes have the potential to sendyou in a spiral so badly, but

(29:12):
I just let it be there,and I know no new thoughts going to
come, and I don't have todo anything that's so helpful. So I
want to take a really quick breakfor an ad and then when we come
back, can we discuss the threePrinciples and how you healed from it?
Okay, we'll be right back.Okay, So now we're going to discuss

(29:34):
the three Principles. Okay. TheThree Principles were founded in the nineteen seventies
by Sydney Banks and he was aScottish welder at the time. A lot
of people say it's like a Scottishmystic, and he had an insight.
He really identified as an insecure personand he was going to like a lot
of marriage retreats and workshops with hiswife. And they were at one and

(29:59):
there was a psychiatrist there or apsychologist. I don't think he was running
it, but they were having aconversation and Sid was talking about how insecure
he was, and the psychiatrist said, Sid, you're not insecure, you
just think you are, and somethingabout it. Sid had an insight and
he said, it was like abomb went off and a lifetime of insecurity

(30:22):
was lifted from his shoulders. Sohe went on for the next three days
or maybe more to have like thishuge spiritual experience and where he realized or
had all these realizations about how wework as human beings, like this human
psychological functioning. And so the threeprinciples or not anything new there happening,

(30:44):
whether you know about them or not. It's not a technique. It's just
like sid saw very clearly, likeoh wow, about thought and mind and
consciousness. And he started hearing,and he was very reluctant. He didn't
want to be like some he didn'twant people to follow him, and you
know, he didn't even want likevideos made. And but I'll go back
to what they are because they knowwe don't have all day. I think

(31:07):
it's really interesting though. Yeah,he's amazing. He just he had all
these insights and he just changed himand he started actually changing the world of
psychology and psychiatry. And so oneof the principles and also there's a lot
of people say they were just kindof one but and the name of them
doesn't matter. But one is consciousnessand under that is that we are alive

(31:30):
via some life first energy. Youknow, we can't deny it. We're
all here. So with consciousness,that's how we experience life. You know,
if you're having your wisdom teeth outor a health procedure and you're unconscious,
you're not like remembering life. Sowith consciousness, that's how our thoughts
get brought to life, like wereally feel them. You know, if

(31:52):
we had that thought of what ifI ran somebody over, we can sometimes
like picture that, you know,because it gets life. And also in
the discussion of consciousness, people talkabout state of mind. You know,
when you're in a lower state ofconsciousness, that's kind of like you know,
dark colored glasses sometimes you know where, but our consciousness can rise and

(32:15):
you know, we sometimes it's justwe didn't get enough sleep or who knows,
it could be a hormonal thing,like we can't sometimes control consciousness,
but we know it goes up,you know where it goes up and down,
and when our consciousness rises, wejust we just feel better. We're
zoomed out, like you know,maybe a three am thinking and you're going

(32:37):
over like, oh my gosh,I didn't do this. Like oftentimes that's
like a lower state of consciousness.You know, problems seemed bigger and then
you wake up in the morning andyou're like, that's not that big of
a deal. So we could havea whole longer discussion on that, but
that's one of them. And youknow what, I realized that when I

(32:57):
said that we are alive via somelife or energy, that would be universal
mind. So that would be andsee that's why the names don't matter.
But one of the principles is thatwould be universal mind, which is that
we are alive via some life forceenergy. And that's like wisdom and common
sense, and that's what helped youand I grow babies. You know this,

(33:17):
and that's in us all and helpsus keep us alive and keep us
breathing. And that's why you know, when people are creative, and when
we talked about like sending our brainon holiday, because we have this universal
mind where it's going to give uscreative solutions and it's the energy that creates

(33:38):
us and creates planets, and wecan really trust that it's got our back.
So it's safe not to think asmuch because with anxiety, we can
think that we need to think,we need to scan our bodies. We
need to stay in control. Weneed to think of the worst case scenario.
We need to plan because what ifthis happens with us, and what
if this happens with our kids?Oh my god, yes, you know,

(34:00):
and when this principle or it's like, oh wait, if and when
that scary thing happens, future mewill deal with it and I won't even
need to think so much about itbecause you'll just receive this simple knowing.
And that's because it's like we're madeof wisdom in common sense. You know,
it's this thing that's actually behind ourbrain, that's powering our brain.

(34:22):
Right, So that was one ofthe first insights that I had. So
in the Three Principles, you know, community, we talk a lot about
insights and realizations and how they changeyou from the insight out. And we're
having insights all the time. Youknow. When we're little, we probably

(34:44):
saw someone walking somewhere and we werelike, that looks cool and a fast
way, and you know, andwe had an insight and a realization that
we could maybe start walking. Andso we're built for insights, and when
we have them, they go somuch deeper than just like techniques so then
the third principle, and I'm goingthrough them quickly. We could talk about

(35:06):
them for hours, but is thoughtand we all think, so in the
principles come first, like community.We talk about thought with a capital T.
Okay. So there's like thinky thoughtslike I'm on a podcast or I'm
hungry, but there's you know probablywith that I'm a hungry one too.

(35:27):
It's also like a sensation, soyou can feel like pain kind of with
a thought, or memories, andyou have images or people. They might
hear a song, like someone that'sMozart, you know, going to compose
some music. It's not maybe sucha thinky thought, but he gets this
idea of music or and so withthoughts they're just neutral. That was a

(35:50):
huge one that I hadn't really heardbecause I thought there are good thoughts,
they are bad thoughts. Good peopleshould have good thoughts, Like it's bad
too. You know when I hada thought right after I brought my son
home from the hospital, the firsttime I held him, I had a
thought, but it was more justan image of like what if I dropped
him and his head splitting open onthe bricks, And it was so scary

(36:15):
So that was another really really biginsight was I truly saw I think for
the first time that all of mythoughts were neutral, and that was I
was working with Sarah Taylor and II've loved babies. It's funny like less
so now that I'm in my fortyI think like my yay for grandchildren and
other things. But all I usedto just want to twenty four hour daycare.

(36:38):
I've just loved babies forever. Andbecause I love them so much.
After I had that thought, sometimesI would have intrusive thoughts, so like
what if I hurt a baby?You know, it's so vulnerable and so
just precious. It was like,you know, and I think with intrusive
thoughts often it's like the game ofTelephone where it starts out of like,

(36:59):
here's this precious being protected at allcosts, and then it somehow gets bodied
to like, well, what ifI threw the baby against the wall?
You know, and it's like waitwhen it's really like hold this baby with
your arms. And so I thinktalking about it, and Sari was really
just saying, oh, it's she'sthe one. I think who said tea.
She said, if I said,oh, am, I going to
have tea what if I murdered myhusband and to have someone like go there?

(37:21):
And I was like, and Ilove Sari because she is just so
like she's just funny and it's lighthearted. And I think that was such a
great fit for me because I've alwaystalked about mental health and like a lighthearted
way, because we don't do wellwhen it's so serious. So we could
talk about the principles for a longtime, but they're, you know whatever

(37:45):
order. I think SID liked themto be like consciousness, mind and thought.
I sometimes say like thought, mindand consciousness, but it don't matter
because they're all working together that weall have. They get brought to life,
you know, we feel them withour five senses. You know,
like if you're walking home at nightand it's dark, someone walks up behind
you. You have a thought,what if this is like a murderer and

(38:06):
they're going to kidnap me? Andour consciousness doesn't care what Our thoughts are
just going to bring them to life, so we have we could picture it
like oh my, you know,our heart might start beating. We have
a full sensory experience often with ourthoughts when we bring them to life unintentionally
and we might like our skin mightyou know, kind of get like more

(38:27):
prickly, like we're ready. Wecould picture like this person coming up behind
us as they're approaching, and thenwe see it's a mom with a baby
stroller, and we're like, oh, you know, we didn't have to
work to realize we were safe,and so this is maybe I guess when
like universal mind would come in naturally, we settle we didn't have to do
a technique of like, Okay,now I'm going to let that thought go

(38:50):
and I'm going to believe that thoughtand I'm going to get my heart rate
back. We just realized, oh, we're not in danger, and we
you know, it might be likewe might be shaken maybe for the walk
home because we were like, oh, we we just took that thought seriously.
I love how honest you are becauseI feel a lot of people aren't
honest about I feel like everyone hasintrusive thought, nobody talks about it because

(39:14):
out of fear of being ridiculed,judged, or it coming to light and
then manifesting it. But I lovehow honest you are because I feel like
the more honest you are, it'sgoing to help other people know that they're
normal and then also have a betterunderstanding in regards to how much they control
they have over their thoughts. It'snot their identity, it's just a peace

(39:34):
of their mind. Yeah. Andalso just because we haven't thought doesn't mean
it's our thoughts. They just comeand they just go, you know.
And and it's also just like ourimagination too, you know, where somebody
can get so excited. If itwas like Stephen King and he had like
a super creepy, weird murderer scifi thought, He's like, yeah,
great, but we can you know, what's a gift. It's it's such

(39:55):
a gift. And and that's why, you know, I I've been taught
that anytime we don't feel good,you know, it's just, oh,
we're just misusing this gift of thought. Because it is such a gift.
We can use it to think ofour wonderful memories with our family and what
we're going to cook and what we'regoing to create, and just just think
and whatever daydream and think of lifesaving stuff or funny books to write.

(40:22):
And then sometimes we can think andtake our thoughts seriously and think of how
weird we are and how bad weare and think of all the bad things
that could happen, and neither isgood or bad because it's really not.
I really feel like our souls hereto grow and develop, so or our
souls like cool. If you wantto take all these really scary negative thoughts
seriously, you can do that.But we don't feel good, and that

(40:44):
feeling good is like, hey,you're just misusing this gift of thought.
You're misusing your imagination. And ifwe want to use our imagination, we
might as well use it to makeourselves feel good. What about those people,
though, that have like are fardown the rabbit hole and haven't felt
good for a while, How wouldyou recommend them to get to a better

(41:05):
place. I would let the pastbe in the past too, So really
say, like, you know,until now, I have not felt good,
you know, because each moment isfresh and new. Because sometimes if
we think, well, I haven'tfelt good for three years, like I'm
so far down the rabbit hole,that's also just a thought. You know,
we might think, oh, well, I haven't felt good for three
years. You could feel good rightnow in this next moment. Just because

(41:29):
you haven't felt good for three yearsdoesn't mean, you know, it's Sid
Banks said, like people think ittakes years to find wisdom, but it
doesn't, you know. And soI really I think for somebody to have
hope, you know, you,they could let each moment be fresh and
new, because also you can't thinkyour way to happiness like when you are
actually just in your life. SoI'd let themselves be surprised, you know.

(41:53):
It's just it's actually when we kindof stopped trying and we're just in
our life that this happiness bob's tothe surface. Yeah, because then I
feel like you're trying to be happyinstead of being happy doing things that make
you happy. It's like a pipedream off in the distance instead of doing
in the present moment. Yeah,And there's you know, I think especially

(42:13):
there's a podcast I like by JudySedgment and Christine Heath and it's called Psychology
Has It Backwards, And one oftheir episodes it's about like the dog wagging
the tail, and if we saidto a dog, like wag your tail,
then you'll be happy. But likea dog just wags its tail when
it's happy, you know, kindof like we're just happy and have more
positive uts when we're just in ourlife, like we're not like I'm thinking

(42:36):
now right. So a lot ofit, I think is we just have
to get out of our own way. And sometimes when we stop trying so
hard, because trying is backwards,because then we're like thinking. So I
guess it would be individual, youknow, because whatever that person would be,
i'd kind of talk to them,I guess, and ask questions.
But I think overall it would bethe let it be fresh and new,

(42:58):
let the past be in the past, like don't bring it in, like
wolla, I'm going to be unhappyforever it's been so long, because that's
understanding, you know, or youknow, I hope it's okay to say
this too. When he said,like you're if you get to like four
auntie realization, oh my god,I'm so far. You're one thought away
from feeling better. You know,we'd think, oh, if I kind
of catch it earlier, then I'mjust one thought. But if it gets

(43:19):
really bad, like we're always justone thought away, you know. I
remember once when I was in themiddle of a panic attack and like derealization.
Now it wasn't like a I wasjust like derealized at this moment.
And my ex husband and my daughterwere coming to get me. This was
when I was married, and Iwas like an hour away from home,
but I parked somewhere and that's theworst seating. It happened to be all

(43:43):
the time, but this one,it was like the universe was on my
side because I was so far away. But something funny happened and I started
laughing because it was like something funnyhappened snapped me right out of it,
and I was like, oh mygod, I think I'm back and I
and I called my husband, likeI think they can drive home. He's
like, I'm close by, sojust wait. And I called my psychiatrist
because I'd never been able to drive, you know, like usually would I

(44:05):
would be kind of out like inthis state for a few hours. And
so this was, you know,earlier on and he got there and I'm
like, I think I could doit. So I followed a home,
but I drove on the freeway andI was in it, and something funny
happened. You know, I hada whole new thought just snap right out
of it, you know. Andso really, when we can be open
to surprise, like we are onethought away and it doesn't mean that I

(44:27):
always snap out or that it's goodor bad. But no, I like
that though, because I'm the opportunitiesthere instead of like this has to happen
or its doom and gloom. Yeah, and I used to sometimes if i'd
be in a lower mood, likeI don't often experience like anxiety at all
like I used to, but sometimesI'm a human, so I've like up
and downs, and I it waslike two years ago, I was like,

(44:47):
I can't wait to feel better becausewhen I would have that thought,
I knew it meant I would feelbetter and I had didn't have to have
anything to do with it, andso it was kind of like also it
was like accepting exactly where I wasand kind of I'll have a new thought,
a new experience, and I can'twait to feel better and just get
out of my own way. Ilove it. So how did you heal
from DPDR? You know, really, I didn't know that that's what it

(45:12):
was called. I thought I wasjust having panic attacks. And so it
was just through this understanding of theprinciples. When I had that insight about
that, my wisdom had gotten methrough every panic attack. So I mean
just as I kind of have explainedthat, I realized that there was less
for me to do, and itprobably all that I was doing was kind
of keeping me hyper vigilant, andI stopped doing as much. I stopped

(45:35):
resisting de realization, which is Iknow that's what it was. I thought
it was panic attacks, because that'swhat it can sometimes come with a panic.
Really just that was my experience,was de realization and deep personalization.
I stopped like thinking about it,resisting it, planning for it, trying
to prevent it, and that trulyallowed me to come back in harmony,

(45:55):
for me to like get out afight or flight. So it was almost
like the de realization and deep personthat, oh she's she's safe. Now
she's back in harmony, we don'thave to come. And I think it
was also I just stopped doing allmy coding, behavioral therapy and grounding techniques
and meditations and mantras and thought work, and I totally just all of it.

(46:17):
I did less and less, butI saw how safe I was,
how I wasn't broken, you know, So I didn't just stop and was
like I'm just going to stop anddo nothing. I realized it was so
safe for me, you know that, Like I started to realize I wasn't
broken, I wasn't different, Like, yes, I'm unique, and my

(46:37):
tendency is towards anxiety, as someoneelse's tendency might be something else. But
it was just through this conversation inthe Three Principles and a lot of a
conversation like that we're having that Yeah, that I just stopped, I stopped
experiencing. I didn't experience it fora while. And then sometimes when I
get busy and I take life seriously, it will show up as that friendly

(46:57):
signal yeah from love like but nothingnothing night and day too when I experienced
it before. Because also I seeit, I don't think I'm losing my
mind or I don't like ramp up. I used to see it as a
tap on the shoulder, like ashow down, take a deeper death,
move forward, or just like ohfor me, I see it as oh,

(47:19):
I just was getting obsessive and andtaking life seriously. And I think
because I've experienced it and some wobbleswith it, I've learned from each time,
Like because before sometimes I'd resist itand I'd think, no, I
want to be past this now.And that didn't help, and so I
see it earlier and it's just likethis is if I noticed that I was

(47:42):
thirsty or something. But for me, it's a noticing that life is too
important to take too seriously, youknow. And I've had so many amazing
mentors, and a lot of themare in their late seventies or eighties.
And one of my mentors, doctorPettitt, he said, if I haven't
had a hearty laugh by noon,that lets me know I'm taking my life
way too seriously. And you know, and he's just he would say life

(48:04):
is too important to take too seriously. So I know, if I'm feeling
a little dissociated or a little doyou realize it's like, oh, just
started taking life too seriously and there'snothing I need to do. But like
it's kind of like I feel likeI see the truth of how everything is.
Okay. Yeah, I like thatbecause I feel like it makes it
winds up your mind and makes youthink that like you're going crazy. You

(48:28):
literally have a billion thoughts all atonce, and then this sensations back up
the feeling. But I like howyou say not taking it seriously, because
that's what I've learned over the pastcouple of months where like whatever makes you
feel good stays and everything else goes. And I don't have to be on
this like crazy strict schedule. Iwork for myself. Why am I putting
all this pressure on myself? LikeI've been doing it to myself? So

(48:52):
I think, do you think thata lot of people who have anxiety are
more sensitive like empaths have more ofa natural ability to connect with a spirit
universal energy. Have you seen thatin your life? I don't know if
I've seen it in terms of connectingwith like spirit and universal energy, but

(49:13):
I think we can definitely be bigfeeling m paths, you know that can
be more impacted by hearing stuff onthe news or reading people's emotions or like
if I'm watching a TV showystems,it's like I feel it. And I
think a lot of times people withintrusive thoughts they're just so kind. I've
had a lot of people that workin like helping professions and they're so kind

(49:37):
that they can be yes so inthat and you might be more in the
spiritual realm and might see that foryourself. But I think, oh,
well, also a lot of peoplethat I work with it, I know
that there's I'm probably biased because peoplefind me from social media that identify me
perfectionists. Like you know what yousaid, like smart, although everybody smart,

(49:59):
but we can be he really useour brain and think a lot and
try, you know, trying tobe in control. Like we're very trustful,
We're going to follow through. Thatwas a great imagination. But yes,
I do think that it's m passedand some of it, like I
remember with my ex husband one time, and he's a great person. We're
just so different. And I don'tknow who said it first, but like,

(50:20):
what are you thinking? And Itold him what I was thinking,
and this was my thinking. Nowwould be much different. I was much
more anxious, I thought, Ireally I thought I needed to think to
keep everybody safe. But I toldhim and he was like, I was
like, what are you thinking?He was like literally nothing, and I
was like what like? But hesaid if I when I told him,
he said, I would just killmyself. And I was like, so

(50:42):
I think that was horrible. Someof it is I think my brain like
I was kind of gotten the habitof thinking a lot, and so now
I think I do it much morehealthier where I'm may be more thoughtful and
aware of than some people, butnot like it's not ramped up, like
you know, my body took thecues that like, it wasn't a smart
strategy. It was just a badhabit, Like I didn't need to think

(51:02):
of all the worst cases there.Yes, I love how you said that
it was a bad habit because that'swhat I've realized too. So you have
a course to help people with anxietyand DPDR, Is that correct? Yes?
I have. I have a longercourse that covers like everything you know,
from intrusive thoughts and panic attacks andmoods and relationships and DPDR, and

(51:23):
then I just have other ones whereif someone just wanted, you know,
the thing on DPDR, I havelike you know, little packages that like
one that's just on DPDR a masterclass, and also I did a workshop recording
where they can hear other people,and one where you can add in physical
symptoms, and one course that's justintrusive thoughts, one course that's just help

(51:45):
anxiety. So I have like awhole variety of offerings. Awesome. How
do people find you? Well,they can just go to my website and
it's peace Dash from dash within dotcom. Okay, but also you can
find me on social media. Soon TikTok, I'm just Piece from Within
And if you're on TikTok, allmy links are there too. And on

(52:07):
Instagram it's just underscore Piece from Within. But if you just go to Google
and google Piece from Within or LilySice my last name is Sais, all
my stuff will come up so peoplecan find me there. I have so
many free videos too, if youjust want to get a feel for I

(52:29):
don't know how I talk about ithow so I'm on YouTube, you know,
Piece from Within there too you canwatch. I have like some videos
that are kind of long on Instagram, something that might be like an hour.
There's like an hour when talking aboutmorning anxiety. Well, I appreciate
you. You really helped me feelnormal and I like this all wasn't my
fault and I feel like you're goingto help a lot of people. Oh,

(52:51):
thank you so much. It's beenhelpful for me on my journey because
until I started sharing, I'd nevermet anybody that and I don't know anybody
like in real life. I meanI know you in real life, but
like that's you know, be outsideof meeting people like from my career and
sharing that experienced de realization or deeppersonalization, and if I experienced a little
bit now, I think it wasso helpful that I just felt like it

(53:13):
was the shared experience. I stoppedtaking it personally. And I think that's
a really big key. Because youexperience it, we think, but no
one's had it this bad like this, you know, that's another thought that
we can feel is true. Andit's almost I've talked to at least a
thousand people that have experienced de realizationand depersonalation, so it's like my brain
can't even trick me to think thatthere's something unique about me and my experience

(53:36):
because I just feel this. Ihonestly feel like held by all these amazing
men and women that I've talked tothat have shared this experience with me,
so I don't feel alone, Idon't take it personally, And then I
love that that's so helpful. I, like I said, I literally was
like I prayed, and I waslike, please help me send me someone
something like I don't want to strugglewith this for the rest of my life.

(53:57):
And then I stumbled across you,and I feel like the universe just
somehow some way threw you across mypath. So I feel your videos on
Instagram are helpful. So I can'teven imagine how helpful your course is.
Oh, thank you so much.Well, if you want to see you,
just let me know. I'll lookto you. Yeah, yeah,
that would be awesome. Yeah,I'll send you the links. Okay,
all right, well, thank youguys for listening, and thank you so

(54:19):
much for being on. Thank youfor having me. Here are your angel
messages. I'm going to use adifferent deck. This is the light Worker
Oracle Deck by Atlanta Fairchild. Thesemessages are going to be significantly longer than

(54:42):
the last one, so please bearwith me. We are going to do
the same thing we did last time. You're going to pick a number one
through three, as I say,the number fuel, which one pulls you
in the most? Number one,number two, number three? Message number
one Key of Light. Archangel Michaelloves you unconditionally and serves your sole journey.

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He brings you a spiritual gift,now, the Key of Light.
This key allows you to open anydoor, clear away any obstruction, and
free yourself from any prison or enslavement, physical, emotional or psychological. There
is no need for you to feeltrapped or locked out of a situation you

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want to get into. You nowhold within your hands a divine key that
will assist you in many ways.Archangel Michael has a message for you.
You have the power of the divinein you. You have the ability to
free yourself, no matter whether itseems that another person, a set of
circumstances, or the entire world holdsmore power than you. Your power of

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freedom is unconditional. It doesn't requirethat outer circumstances change in order for you
to be free, though as youchoose freedom, outer circumstances often change radically.
For now to be free, usethe key of light. This means
staying true to what you know foryourself. Gently and lovingly assert your truth.

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Now, do not cave into thenaysayers and fear generators. Most especially,
do not collapse under your own oldfears or doubts. Gently and persistently
cleaving to the light within will bringyou through any apparent obstacle, free you
from any apparent prison, and ensureyour divine destiny is fulfilled. All doors

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shall be open to you. Yourbeing given a gift of unconditional grace.
Step back and radiate love from yourcenter. That is your way. You
do not have to betray your spiritualityto fight. You can fight with love
and trust, and that can beyour way as a spiritual warrior. And

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each moment you choose love and trust, you are fighting the good fight.
You are learning that love is expressedand know as much as in yes,
for when you fight against those whowant you to deny the truth, you
are standing clear and strong and lovingtruth. Michael helps you realize the strength
that you already have within you todo this. This oracle is a message

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for you to trust in your ownability to triumph. Right now. You
are the key to success. Youmust believe in yourself. You don't have
to force a door to open inperfect time. According to divine grace,
all doors will open for you.Your dreams and actions will prove themselves in
time. No person, place,or thing has any power to hold you

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back. The key of Light isspiritual permission from the universe to succeed in
your life mission. You shall notbe kept back from your divine destiny.
You shall be empowered to succeed.Refuse to give up on your dreams.
This may mean freeing yourself from situationsor relationships that have enslaved or controlled you.
When you are ready. This canbe done with great gentleness, compassion,

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and strength. Free yourself with lovenot fear. You may need to
lock doors to the past behind you. With divine empowerment, you can completely
and utterly allow the past to beover. You will find that new doors
can then be unlocked for you.Card number two Dark Angel. The dark

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Angel comes to you with a radicaltruth. Divine love is always there for
you without exception. Love will neverforget you. It will never stop caring
for you, even when it seemsmost unlikely. In fact, especially then,
the divine is reaching for you andnurturing you. Even our wounds are
ways that we can discover love anddivine grace through the healing process. The

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Divine is always helping you remember whoyou are and find your true joy.
When the dark Angel appears, youare being given a gift of light,
even if it may seem to behidden in a blessing. A dark mystery
is one that helps us learn thateven if things don't seem to be working
out according to the timing or themethods that we believe necessary, the light

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and love of spirit are unfailing.If a door is closed in your face,
it's the wrong door for you.Divine love will ensure that the right
door opens at the right time.When you encounter darkness, how you respond
can make either the dark or thelight victorious. You can choose doubt and
fear, or you can force thedarkness to serve the light by choosing trust
and faith. You are spiritually advancedenough to trust unconditionally. That is the

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trust that burns bright not only whenthings appear good, but even when your
mind thinks things seem to be headingin the wrong direction. Does unconditional trust
mean that you give up if thingsget tough, assuming it is not meant
to be, of course, notrelying on an unconditional trust and understanding the
dark mystery, you are willing togo through periods of not knowing. You

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are willing to continue on your patheven when you are not seeing immediate results,
because in your heart you know it'sright. This type of trust is
powerful enough to release any separation betweenyou and the universe. You know that
even when the universe guides you intochallenging territory, you shall benefit, grow

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and divine power, and become theamazing being you are destined to be.
Praying to the beautiful dark Angel andwriting, drawing, dancing, and feeling
or dialoguing with your dream images.You can work through the pain of a
challenging time and grow in wisdom.What matters is that you honestly express the
depth of your suffering. Then,when you are ready, acknowledge that the

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experience has helped you grow. Aswe realize how we have grown through the
experience, turning what was once asource of pain into spiritual light, we
massfully transform our deepest pain into ourgreatest growth and spiritual accomplishment. We become
true spiritual out mists, releasing lightfrom darkness. As you learn to put
more faith in love than fear,your trust becomes increasingly unconditional, and you

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find the light even through the dark. In this way, you become initiated
in the mystery of the dark Angel. Then you can show others that this
is possible. You can help healothers from victim consciousness and show them that
inner piece is possible even when theyare facing the unpredictable twists and turns of
life. If you've been going througha difficult time or struggling to heal an

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issue, the dark Angel promises thateven through the depths of despair, you
shall find the light in your owntime. You will rise again into trust,
restored faith, and hope. Allwill be well. Card number three
Wisdom of the Divine Feminine. DivineFeminine wisdom empowers you to grow into your

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vision, your dreams, and thefulfillment of your life purpose. Perhaps you
envision a very different light for yourselfto what you are experiencing now. This
wisdom reminds you that you can experienceeven the most extraordinary dreams as reality.
If you are willing to grow intowhat you desire, to become what you
seek, surrender any plans about howyou can best manifest your dreams and instead

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allow life to guide and nourish youthrough your experiences each day. The universe
supports your divine destiny and is helpingyou become all that you are meant to
be. When the wisdom from theDivine Feminine reaches you, the message is
clear. You are in the processof becoming more heaven on Earth. Sometimes
there are growing pains alongside the joy, such as growth brings. You may

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feel concerned, thinking your pain isan indication that you are failing in some
way, you may judge your sufferingas a sign that you are not operating
it a high enough frequency. Yet, how many spiritual masters upon this planet
have endured great suffering as well asexperiencing tremendous love and joy in the fulfillment
of their divine destiny. Growing painsare just part of the feminine path of

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creation, of breaking through what hasbecome too small for you. There is
joy in the freedom, but theact of breaking through can feel painful at
times when things are difficult or youare feeling doubt, When you feel the
need to do something that scares youand challenges you at the depths of your
being, you are experiencing growing pains. They will pass and you will benefit

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from the growth. However, youneed to know that well this difficulty is
in your life. The Divine isvery much with you, encouraging you,
believing in you so much that itwill deliver a tough lesson. You can
handle it for however long it needsto continue, and that won't be forever.
This oracle also brings you a messageabout how much divine Feminine loves you

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and wants to help you grow withthe least struggle in the most peace if
you don't listen to her, insteadchoosing to believe in fear, you may
be terrified of your growing pains.You won't be sure if they will ever
end. You may doubt your abilityto turn adversity into triumph. You may
lose faith. Instead of trusting thatlife has your best interests at heart and
that you are capable of meeting anychallenges that arise. Instead of trusting,

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you may believe the world isn't safe. This can keep you paralyzed in self
defeating, self harming patterns. Whilethese may give you a temporary familiar satisfaction,
ultimately these patterns mean you will continueto struggle and suffer under the weight
of addiction or emotional pain. Youdeserve so much better than that. The
divine Feminist speaks to you now andpromises that if you are willing to show

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up in your life each day andtrust in the circumstances before you, she
will guide you into your most beautiful, divine destiny. It is safe to
trust her. She wants for youonly the best and most beautiful life journey,
when perfectly suited for all that youare and all that you can be.
Your heart beats in perfect rhythm withthe heart of love at the center

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of our universe. Trust your heart, and trust life. All is progressing
beautifully as you are guided ever deeplyinto your divine fulfillment. I hope these
cards resonated with you, and Ihope this podcast episode helped. And if
you know anyone who is suffering fromany mental health issues, please share the

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podcast with them and hopefully it givesthem a glimmer of hope as well.
Thanks for listening.