April 13, 2023 • 42 mins
In this episode of Walking on Feathers, Medium Kareen interviews Rebecca Wilson as they discuss spiritual barriers to authentic expression of self, awakening to who you really are, and manifestation. Many barriers mentioned relate specifically to women, and a woman’s struggle to value oneself based off what they do or what others say about them. Many women, as moms and wives, struggle to find their place and find happiness and spiritual peace about calling. Kareen and Rebecca, though, offer freeing truths and spiritual guidance on how to wake up to the truth of who you really are, how to teach yourself to feel emotions throughout the day, and how to understand that those emotions do not define who you are in spirit or in being.
Their discussion continues to the practice of manifestation and one’s ability to free one’s soul from spiritual resistance. Rebecca and Kareen help listeners overcome the spiritual and life challenges that keep one from reaching the life they envision and truly have the ability to manifest.
If you have any guest suggestions for the podcast, please send their information to Medium Kareen via email to mediumkareen@gmail.com.
“We all are on a journey to becoming more aware of our [mental] programs, and it looks different for everyone.”
-Medium Kareen
Medium Kareen Website and Social Media Information:
www.mediumkareen.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/mediumkareen?igshid=Zjc2ZTc4Nzk=
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mediumkareen
YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCDgvAzxdI_NJzs89NO_bxEg
Pinterest: https://pin.it/6D26Am7
Rebecca Wilson Website and Social Media Information:
www.rebeccawilson.net
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/manifestation.mamma/
Their discussion continues to the practice of manifestation and one’s ability to free one’s soul from spiritual resistance. Rebecca and Kareen help listeners overcome the spiritual and life challenges that keep one from reaching the life they envision and truly have the ability to manifest.
If you have any guest suggestions for the podcast, please send their information to Medium Kareen via email to mediumkareen@gmail.com.
“We all are on a journey to becoming more aware of our [mental] programs, and it looks different for everyone.”
-Medium Kareen
Medium Kareen Website and Social Media Information:
www.mediumkareen.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/mediumkareen?igshid=Zjc2ZTc4Nzk=
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mediumkareen
YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCDgvAzxdI_NJzs89NO_bxEg
Pinterest: https://pin.it/6D26Am7
Rebecca Wilson Website and Social Media Information:
www.rebeccawilson.net
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/manifestation.mamma/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
Hi, everyone. I have Rebeccahere with me. Hi. We've been
talking for the last thirty minutes,and she's like, just hit record,
we'll figure it out. One thingthat I want, We'll just pick up
where we left off. One thingthat I wanted to discuss was how everybody
talks about awakening. You're gonna awaken, You're going to become more aware.
I used to think it meant somethingdifferent. Now I realize that awakening is
(00:36):
becoming aware of your mind, becomingaware that your mind is running the show.
Right, what's your definition of awakening. I definitely agree with what you're
saying. I also think awakening isit has a lot to do with waking
up to the truth of who youreally are. Right. So, a
(00:57):
lot of us have a tendency tosee our a past version of ourselves,
which is in the mind. Absolutely. So the moment that we're living is
because of all of our past experiences, and then we're kind of also living
in a way because of what wethink that the future is going to be
(01:17):
like, and so we're never actuallyliving in the here and the now.
And another thing that has actually comeup. I interviewed a lot of women
over the last couple of weeks isthat they haven't been able to authentically express
themselves their desires, their wants,their needs. And when we suppress this
(01:38):
part of us, we obviously suppressa lot of emotions that go with it.
But it's through the expression that wecome closer to our truth and who
we really really are. And themore that you do that, and you
were just talking about, you know, saying what you want, saying how
it should be, asking for support, you start to awaken something inside of
(02:00):
your yeah, a lot, andyou start to feel fulfilled and you're like,
I don't know why this feels different, but it feels different. It's
because she's speaking speaking of truth,and you feel a lot. So what
we were discussing was how through thelast six months, I've been on this
transformative journey where I feel happier thanI ever have felt and more connected to
(02:22):
myself. And everything's the same,nothing has changed except me and my mindset
and my perspective. And we werejust talking about relationships and how I think
a lot of women have a tendencyto I don't know if it's selling themselves
short, but we, especially beinga mom, a lot of the expectations
(02:43):
of the kid's stuff goes on us, and we have to balance our working
life and our family life, includinggetting dinner ready and house chores, grocery
shopping. Everything falls on us,and I feel like a lot of us
have a tendency to allow it becausethat's the way we were raised and those
are the beliefs that we grew upwith, and upon growing you have the
(03:10):
awareness one that you could have askedfor help and two that you're in a
partnership. I absolutely have to agree. And this is literally the theme that
I've been covering for the last twoweeks. So eight years ago, I
was together with my husband. Ididn't know I was compromising. I was
(03:30):
putting everybody else's needs before my own. But I thought, that's what I'm
supposed to do. That's what makesme a good mum, that's what makes
me a good wife, That's whatmakes me not like my mom. So
I was offering operating from this placeof projection. You know, I'll do
anything and everything, so I'm notlike my mom. And I was never
(03:51):
being me. I was being everythingbut me, And like you said,
we had these beliefs. So oneof the things that actually came up when
I was interviewing all these women,is they just don't feel supported, and
it feels like that even if wewere to be supported, we then feel
guilty about having support. Oh theguilt, the guilt, and then you
(04:15):
have to make up for it becauseyou're you're supported. Sorry, no,
no, no, go ahead.I just as you're talking, I'm like,
yes, the guilt because you're supported. And then you have guilt because
you're supported, and then you haveto make up for that, whether it's
like Okay, I'm gonna do X, Y and Z tomorrow because you did.
You helped me instead of just beinglike this is where partners and we're
gonna partner up and raise these kidstogether. Oh my god. I used
(04:40):
to feel guilty about sitting in thebathtub for like twenty minutes. Same,
like feel guilty that my husband hadto like do something with the kids,
or you know, I'd go andget my hair cut after six months,
and I'd just be sitting there like, oh, I should be at home
and I should be doing this andthat should be getting done. My friend
actually came to visit me one dayand she's like, I actually had a
headache from fucking watching you like youliterally started unpacking the dishwasher. Two seconds
(05:03):
later, you know, you wentto the fridge, you pulled some stuff
out, the drawing machine started tobit, so you went and pulled the
clothes out like I was. LiterallyI can't even explain like this place where
I was at, but it wasjust like operating, operating, operating,
and it was somewhere where I didn'twant to stay. But I actually didn't
(05:24):
know that there was another way,Like, to be honest, I didn't
even know that was a fucking option. I have the same experience, and
I used to value myself based offof feeling like others thought I was a
good mom, a good wife,a good friend, what they thought.
But like I had this realization,what about me? What about what I
want? And not in a selfishway, but I realized the thing when
(05:47):
you have that realization, you feelselfish. You do, and then you
have to work through that. Whydo I feel selfish? But I had
I luckily, I had a realizationthat for the most part, I was
doing all to myself. And thiswas like years ago. When my husband
and I first got together, Iwould he was working at a different job,
so I would have to take thekids to school and make them breakfast,
(06:08):
lunch, dinner, and then hewould get home around like six fifteen
or whatever. And I, youknow, you don't really know any other
way, because that's the way thatmy mom did it, that's the way
that his mom did it. Andas we began to evolve together, I
started to have the awareness by havinganxiety and depression that I was over extending
(06:29):
myself. But it took me areally long time to figure it out.
Like I didn't realize it until Iwould say, within the last year,
Like realized that I felt overwhelmed becausenot only am I responsible for my schedule,
I'm responsible for my daughter's schedule,her soccer schedule, my son's schedule,
his basketball schedule, and then Carson'sschedule and the days of his days
(06:50):
off. I have to take thosedays off. But I was doing it
to myself. It wasn't until Istarted to tell my husband, like,
Hey, I have a reading onthis day, can you pick Carson up?
Yeah? He never once said no, Like for the most part,
he wouldn't say now it was mostlymy doing, and yeah, he got
used to having the good life fora significant amount of time. But I
(07:15):
would have conversations with him, likeif I'm happy, then it's easier for
me to be a good mom anda good spouse. And so now I
feel like we are really good partners, Like now I'll do the breakfast stuff
and then he'll do pick up andhelp with dinner, and it's definitely more
balanced. But it took us alot of work to get to this point,
like because I didn't realize I wasdoing it where you didn't realize it
(07:36):
either, right, I didn't realizeit at all. And now we've been
separated for about four years, andobviously I'm working, and I just thought,
God, that must be magic havingsomeone doing your like washing and ironing,
and you come home and the fringespool and the dinners on the table.
I was like, oh my god, he had it so good.
(07:57):
And then Sundays like the whole dayat the football, you know, my
forty minutes that they had dress orI'd be like sweating, And yeah,
it's really interesting. But there aresome big shifts and there are some big
changes happening, and it's just beautifultowards I feel like a lot of women
struggle with finding their place as amom, as a wife and finding happiness
(08:20):
within that because a lot of thepressure does go on to us. And
I agree with you, that's fuckingamazing to have everything done and all you
have to do is eat dinner andthen we would like do dishes and clean
up and whatever. But yeah,I just I thankfully I'm at a better
place with in my relationship. Butthe reason why I want to talk about
(08:43):
this was because I feel like alot of women struggle with this, but
they don't realize that they're struggling withit, and then they're depressed or they
have anxiety. And I do feellike nine times out of ten, it's
because a lot of the chores areput on them. Yeah. Absolutely,
I got to a place similar toyou where I was depressed. I had
a coffee shop, I had aproperty company we were renovating. Like my
(09:09):
body just wasn't coping. I wasdoing like four hours of sleep every night.
I had two small children, andI got to the point where I
just couldn't do it anymore and Icouldn't hide it anymore. And I went
to my husband. I was justlike, I can't do the coffee shop
anymore. And the first thing hesaid to me was like, well,
what are the people of Saint tuneIs going to think? And I said,
for the first time in my life, I do not give a shit.
(09:31):
And that was the moment I feltlike my power coming back, the
moment that I was ready to justlet go of what everybody thought of me
and just to take care of myself, take care of my body. Everything
changed. And then I read TheUntethered Soul. I think I literally locked
myself in my office for about threemonths and read The Untetted Soul. And
(09:56):
I was like, is there bookslike this? And I had this love
of fair with Amazon. It waslike dingdong, the next book would come
I'd read, the next book wouldcome from and I really started to like
it. Just felt like, Iknow this sounds so cliche, but the
curtain dropped and I started really thequestion, you know, the house,
(10:16):
the family, like how I evengot there, how it happened? And
I started to see that, youknow, we actually have all of these
subconscious programs. So it's like whateveryou saw, whatever you heard, whatever
you experience as a child, youhave a file for that. So you
tend to recreate your childhood experience itor you do the complete opposite. So
(10:37):
you're literally operating from all of theseprograms. And when you start to understand
that and when you start to payattention, and you know, my mentor
used to say this to me allthe time, Rebecca, pay attention,
paytention. I'd never paid attention inmy life, so I didn't. You
know, It's like explaining to aguide how to give birth. And they
came a moment where, you know, I started to really pay attention and
(11:01):
to see what was happening on thescreen in front of me. And the
next step after that was to takeresponsibility for what was happening that was playing
out on the screen in front ofme. Because I think up until that
point, you know, I justhad kind of thought this is how life
is, right, I hadn't takenreally much responsibility for what was happening.
(11:24):
And it's just, you know,when you start to write these things down
and reflect and see how you gotthere, and you start to understand the
entirety of it all, I justfeel like there are so many things that
start to click. So funny,as you're talking, I'm remembering a session
(11:45):
we had. I think it waslike a year and a half ago.
You had told me to read thebuck. Why men love bitches? Yes,
yeah, And I feel like thatwas a lot of awareness where I
realized I'm acting from a place oflike fear, like if I don't do
this, then he's not going tobe happy. And my husband never like
I created all of this, Hedidn't put any of that on me.
(12:07):
I just had this fear of Idon't know if it was being alone or
things not working or being I haveno idea where the fear is coming from.
But it wasn't until you told methat, And that's when I started
to have more of a say.And I do want to say I had
postpartum depression for three years after Ihad my son, and so it helped
(12:30):
to play into that role of I'mscared, like I'm not a good mom,
I'm not a good wife, andmaking the like decisions from that perspective
instead of feeling like, Okay,this is just something that I'm going through.
I'm allowed to ask for help.I couldn't ask for help. I
felt so weak asking for help.I would feel so guilty asking for help.
If I ask for help, I'mweak. And so it's like as
(12:54):
as children, it's it's black andwhite. If I ask for help,
I'm wake and if I don't askfor help, I'm wrong. And so
we create that program. And theother thing that you said, where does
the fear come from? As humans? We are you know, love and
connection equals survival for us and rejectionbecause of our tribal days, if we
(13:18):
were rejected from the tribe, we'dactually die because we needed the community to
survive. And so it's actually stillvery hard wired into us, and that's
why we often trade external validation forauthenticity because we want to fit in.
They've actually done studies on this andthey're so fascinating. They literally have like
three actors and then they'll have anotherperson and they will draw four lines and
(13:43):
say line B is the longest,and they will say to everyone, like,
which is the longest line, Andthe actors will say line C,
line C, And you can seethe person kind of looking at them and
he wants to say line B becausethat's the longest line, but because everybody
else in the group is saying limeC, he ends up saying lime C
(14:03):
because he wants to be part ofthe group. Wow. I mean,
think of all of the things thatyou did to fit in. If you
got rejected by the cool group atschool. It's like, what do I
have to do to be cool?What do I have to do to feel
like? Because it creates a negativefeeling or an uncomfortable feeling or a negative
emotion in us. And then thesenegative emotions create the thought I'm not good
(14:26):
enough, I don't fit in,nobody likes me, and so you have
that belief like I'm not worthy,I'm not likable, I'm not important,
and then the belief creates another thoughtthat creates a feeling that creates a chemical
reaction, and then you just endup on that loop until you recognize that,
but you're not aware. I thinkthat's the most important part is before
(14:48):
I thought like we're aware of that, but we're not aware until we're aware,
Like you're doing that and you canbe going to therapy and doing work
on yourself. But I feel likeone day it just clicks, Like one
day you just have this awareness thatcomes in and you're like, why did
you start questioning things? Why amI doing this? Why didn't I ask
(15:09):
for help? Why do I believethat? Where is it coming from?
And that's when I feel like thehealing starts to happen. And then change
starts to happen as well. Yeah, absolutely have to share this. I
actually posted on my Instagram, butI was working with a client. We've
been working together for almost a year, and she's given me a permission to
share this. But she's like,I fucking hate my husband, like I
(15:31):
resent him, Like anytime I wantto do something, I just have to
like I just hate him. AndI was like, oh my god.
The medical intuitive work, it's reallyimportant to go to the absolute root cause,
the moment, the point of originthat began, because there's always a
reason, Like there's always a reason, and you know, when you have
that much hate towards somebody, there'shuge healing behind that. And so we
(15:56):
end up on her wedding day andyou know, and I said, tell
me about it, and she goes, it was just like this huge frat
party. And I said okay,and she's like, I'm pissed at him.
I'm pissed his friends. You know, I made all of these beautiful
things. And I said, okay, I want you to walk over to
yourself and I want you to lookat yourself and I want you to ask
yourself a question. She goes,okay, and I said, do you
even want to get married? Andshe's like, ah fuck, and literally
(16:22):
she said, the room is likespinning, like it's not even him.
I said yes, and I said, well, let's look at why you
said yes, And then you goback further, and then you go back
further and it's just like you.It's it's these moments, I think when
you have these aha moments, they'rejust life changing. Like I can't get
enough with them, you know,to change my jobs every every couple of
(16:45):
months, you know, change myclothes. That this is something I never
ever get tired of, Like thisaha moments, these realizations, this when
you recognize like it's just you know, a program that has been operating from
let's take a moment to pause fora quick ad. I think that we
(17:11):
all are on a journey to becomingmore aware of our programs, and it
looks different for everyone. For me, it has been the mental health struggles
that have shown me the way.And I never thought I would look back
and be thankful for just the debilitatinganxiety and the hopeless depression and thinking that
(17:36):
I was never going to get better. But now looking back, I realized
that every single moment that I've everhad anxiety was because I was over extending
myself doing something that I didn't Ifelt I had to do. In the
moment, I'm not realizing of it. It's just like, Oh, it's
someone wants me to show up forthis. Well, they're in my life.
I have to do that. Thenokay, I have to be good
(17:57):
friend. I have to be goodright, But what am I gonna miss
that I can't say no? Andit wasn't until this past like two months
ago, where I was working withthis doctor and he's like, I don't
think I can help you, andI swear to God in that moment,
it was like time stopped and Icould hear my thoughts and I started analyzing
(18:18):
why do I feel this way?And I started talking out loud and I
told him I'm like, this iswhat's going on in my life. And
he's like, none of that hasanything to do with you, though.
That's people in your life, butthat's their story. And that's when I
realized, Okay, I'm gonna letthem go down their path. I'm not
going to save anyone anymore, andI'm going to focus on my mental health
and from those experiences, I amokay with saying no, now I am
(18:42):
okay with housing a boundary because I'mnot going back to that place anymore.
Oh. He is the thing withwomen, we have such a by threshold
for pain and suffering. Yeah,and that's what actually has to get as
bad as it gives the anxiety,depression, the andrometia, otis, the
(19:03):
migraines, because that's always our bodyhelping us. It's always a signal that
something needs to change. But youknow, something has to almost be that
bad for women to change something.You know, we can always if you're
questioning it, that is your cluesomething needs to change, right, So
don't wait till it gets as badas it did for us. But it's
(19:27):
it's always like and then you're questioningit, and then you think, you
know, maybe I want more,and then you have this guilty feeling of
like wanting more and being more andthen doing more, and then it plays
into it like, you know,I don't want to be a sure off,
I don't want to upset anybody inmy family, and there's just so
much stuff and really family stuff.Yeah, when you become aware of all
(19:48):
this, I feel like that's whenwhen the big awakening happens, and you
don't just have one awakening. Let'smake that clear for everybody. That isn't
it just It's not a one off, one and done thing. It is
a process that continues to happen overand over and overy. I feel like
there's awakenings inside of awakenings, LikeI feel like I was in this spiritual
awakening for the last eight years sincemy friend died, and I feel like
(20:11):
now I have I'm on the outskirtsof it where I feel like I had
multiple awakenings within that. But thebiggest thing that I realized was I am
allowed to protect my peace, regardlessof what that means, like meaning I'm
allowed to have a boundary. Maybeyou wouldn't be okay with that boundary,
(20:33):
But I don't have to explain myselfwhy I have the boundary. I don't
have to defend it. I canknow in my heart that if it feels
right for me, then that's okay, and I don't have to I don't
have to over explain. That's whatI used to do. I would literally
have arguments in my fucking head withsomeone and they're not involved at all,
where Like I'm defending myself and theydidn't say shit, And it's just like
(20:56):
again like this old programming, likewell what if they say this, what
if they get mad at me forthis? Well, and then like literally
driving myself fucking crazy so much energy, and that's that's a trauma response to
what you're having right there. AndI want to tell you something that's going
to make it really easy, becauseI know a lot of women have this.
If you are saying yes to otherpeople to please them whatever, you're
(21:18):
serving their personality and you're not servingtheir soul. That is the best.
The second thing is if you sayyes and you have the energy of like
I have, I really don't wantto do this, you're taking that energy
in there, so it's not goingto be the highest and best solution.
Even though you know, maybe yousay I can't help you move house today,
(21:41):
the person feels a little bit disappointed. You could actually be clock blocking
them from finding their soulmate because youknow, they're they're carrying the heavy boxes
and some guy comes up and he'slike, oh my god, you're struggling.
Have you got nobody to help you? And then she meets a soulmate.
So if you kind of said yesand then you were helping her,
he would have felt intimidated and wentby. So know that when you say
(22:07):
yes to yourself, you are actuallysaying yes to everybody else's soul growth as
well. Yeah, this happened actuallyrecently with my boyfriend. He had to
let somebody go who was kind ofdoing this building project for him, and
he's like, I feel so bad. I really want to helping and I
said no, like, think aboutwhat you want and what's the best for
you. So this goes on fora couple of weeks. He ended up
(22:30):
saying to the guy like, I'mjust going to have to let you go.
This is not working out. Andthe guy actually ended up being like
super relieved because he felt like somuch pressure and then all of a sudden
the pressure and he's just like,it was like the best decision that we
made for everyone. So in theend, when you say yes to you,
it is actually going to be thebest decision for everyone. Well.
Yeah, and I've realized too thatit's My relationship is incredible now that I'm
(22:53):
putting myself first. I'm happy.My husband's very passive, easy going,
and I feel like he works betterwhen I know what I want and I'm
vocal about it and love that ship. Yeah. I didn't think so though,
but you're the one that told me, oh my god, please,
I absolutely love that book. Itjust it actually fell on my head in
(23:15):
a Bali bookstore, of Yes ofall places, and I was like,
yeah, okay. And I rideback from Bali and my boyfriend was like,
I don't know what you've done,but do more of it. And
I was like, I just reada book. He's like, no,
it was it was something else.I was like, no, I just
read a book. And he waslike he was like looking at me.
(23:37):
His eyes were so big because itreally highlighted like, you know, when
I was acting like the doormat,when I was acting you know, desperate
or and you're absolutely right, likewhen you start to know you're worth that's
what it comes back to and whatyou're worthy of you and you put yourself
first. You know, people canonly treat you the way they betray yourself.
(24:00):
And I spent a lot of yearsbeing angry at my husband. I
was like, you know, Iwas doing this for him and doing that
and he showed me no respect.But when I started to dig a little
bit deeper, I thought, well, was I even showing my self respect
right? So he can't put mefirst? If I can't even put myself
first, that was a big truthpeel for me. I know, reflecting
(24:23):
back, I was such a bitch, like I don't know how where.
I was just so angry, likestill processing a lot of trauma for my
friend dying, and then just somuch crap. We've been through so much,
and I am so thankful that wewere able to get through those hard
moments. And I want to saytoo, this wasn't like our journey was
(24:45):
very mess messy. I feel likewe're making it sound a little graceful.
No, there was periods of timewe were like struggling and didn't know why
we felt the way that we felt. But what I have realized whenever I'm
making a decision, regardless of it, is if somebody invites you to their
birthday party and I don't want togo, not because I'm being an avoidant
or an introvert, more because there'sthis feeling in me that's like doesn't want
(25:10):
to go, then I'm not goingto force myself to go. I feel
like people are going to argue withus, but I feel like it's so
important to protect your peace because you'llcontinue to cross that boundary and continue to
push yourself further and do things thatyou don't want to do be around people
that are toxic. So I feellike it's important to always put yourself first
(25:30):
or making and if you don't wantto go to that birthday party, then
maybe you do something one on onewith that person instead. Like it's not
being completely avoidant, it's figuring outwhat works for you, what's healthy for
you, absolutely, because it's actuallywhen you are saying yes and you actually
want to say no, you laka load of energy. And when you're
leaking energy, you're not living analigned life. And you know, one
(25:53):
of our biggest purpose is to livean authentically aligned life, and it's really
hard to do that when you're sayingyes and you want to saying no when
you you know, and we alwayswe grow when we evolve, when we
change. So we used to havethese conversations and we'd be really like driving
with it, and all of asudden, it's like, you know,
I just can't be having these conversationsanymore. Or you know, I used
to drink champagne and I thought itwas amazing and now it's like I drink
(26:15):
half a glass and I'm like,why don't I love it anymore? Like
I kind of question and question myselfabout it. So you know, it's
just accepting that as well, andwhy I think that, Like we all
evolve, and so like maybe thatold version of you enjoy champagne and now
you tease sit it and you don'tlike it, and instead of clinging to
(26:36):
it and continue to drink it,just accepting that now you don't like it.
I feel like a lot of ushumans have a tendency to clean through
two things or resist and we're justallowed just let it flow, like every
moment you're being born into a newperson. Yeah, but that's that's such
a good point. Like it's likewhy am I clinging to it? And
you know, for a lot ofpeople, like alcohol is connection, it's
fitting in. And I'm not judgingit because I'll drink a glass of ship
(27:00):
plain every now and then. Butit's like people will tell you, you
know, I have fun. Ihave so much more fun now that I'm
not drinking. And if you toldthe twenty year old version of me,
I probably would have like ran off, thinking this woman's crazy. But it's
so true, and it's like,you know what I really what do I
really get out of it? Andit's connection, it's fitting in, it's
you know, feeling more confident.And when you start to realize you don't
(27:23):
need alcohol to do that, that'swhen things change. So if you are
clinging onto something, you're not actuallyclinging onto the alcohol or the cigarettes or
the toxic relationships. It's something muchmuch deeper than that. So it's funny
because now, before when I wouldfeel something, I would get scared from
the feeling, which is why Ihave an anxiety disorder. Now I question,
(27:45):
what is that poking? Why doI have a tendency to react that
way? Let's look at this deeperAnd maybe I can't figure it out right
now and I'm going to go ona walk and then it'll come up,
or maybe I just need a surrenderand it'll come up in a couple of
weeks. But I feel like I'vedeveloped the awareness to stake it, take
a step back, and not reactright away. And how I have a
knowing that it's poking an unhealed wound. Yeah, I have a saying when
(28:08):
you can feel, you are free. Because the majority of our day is
geared to not feeling particular emotions,not wanting to feel a particular way.
If you've you know, did somethingthat made you feel it felt very embarrassed
or shame or guilt, you tryto do things to avoid feeling that.
And that's when we start to loseourselves. And this is a huge you
(28:30):
know, every single physical ailment.When people are coming to me with a
symptom, ninety nine point nine percentthings behind that those symptoms are actually emotion,
unprocessed emotion, childhood trauma, thestories we've been told ourselves, and
yeah, and when you can justlet that be. And I know people
(28:51):
are like, well, how dowe even do that? It's a little
bit like golf or yogurt does takea little practice, you know yourself.
But I feel like the first stepis we tend to clench down on our
emotions, like I don't want tofeel that, you know, you get
dumped, Oh my god, thisis painful. I never want to get
hurt again. And then you goand kind of numb yourself. But the
thing that I always do is Iset the intention to stay open and to
(29:12):
let the energy move through me,and then I won't say like I'm pissed
off. I will say the feelingof being pissed off is moving through me,
and I'm going to allow it tomove through me. So I'm almost
like guiding it. And you know, you can actually start to have a
conversation. You know, what colorwould it be? You know? Where
is it in my body? Andit kind of takes the edge of it
(29:33):
when you name it, you claimit, and then you know that you're
in charge of that. And youknow, the more that you awake and
the more spiritual, it doesn't stophappening. It's just that you have the
tools to kind of deal with it. It's kind of like life is like
getting on a boat and you andyou know, you don't have any instructions.
Nobody's told you how to drive theboat, and you know you have
(29:55):
to cross the sea and there's goingto be storms and you have no idea
how to do this. And whenyou have like tools where you can learn
breathwork or how to process your emotions, or you're working with a mentor,
it's like giving you the instructions.You know, the rough seas are going
to still be there, the rainis still going to fall. It's not
like all of a sudden, youget to avoid all all of that stuff
and bypass it. So I feellike that was a little bit of a
(30:18):
misconception. Like I literally asked myfriend, I'm like, when we're spiritual,
do we just smile all the time? Or we like to say fuck?
Like literally we were asking saying Iused to change that too, and
people would judge me, like ifyou're a medium or if you're a spiritual,
why do you say fuck? AndI used to judge myself too,
like, oh, I can't actlike that because it makes other people uncomfortable
or I'm not supposed to be thatway. Well, he's spirituality is just
(30:41):
about being you and right, Iremember, like I went from like never
yelling at my kids, never youknow, saying being loud or anything like
that, and all of a sudden, when I found my voice, you
know, everything came back and Iwas yelling. And my husband even said,
I thought you were spiritual, nowwhy you Like he was totally confused,
and I'm like, because this isme, this is how I'm feeling.
(31:03):
I'm just gonna let it out andI'm gonna be totally fucking okay with
it. So yeah, I definitelyfeel like there's a lot of misconceptions around
the One thing that helps me,especially with like loss, with whether it's
like a friendship or a death,or is knowing that like part of life
is sharing beautiful moments with people andhaving experiences with them. And this is
(31:29):
really hard, but bear with me, trying to have the mindset of being
grateful for that moment that you experiencewith them and knowing that another beautiful moment
will appear and maybe it's not withthat person, it'll be with someone else,
but just having gratitude for it.And I feel like that's what my
dad's passing has taught me, justbeing thankful for the lessons instead of the
(31:51):
tragedy and trauma around all of it. And I think that's because I processed
a lot of the trauma. Imean, I've been in therapy since I
was eight, and the primary focuswas on him, So maybe that's why
I've come to this realization. ButI just feel like more grateful for life
and for the experiences. And Ifeel like I'm before I was in the
(32:13):
hall and now I'm poking myself outof the hole and the sun starting to
shine, and I just I feelvery hopeful. Oh, I love the
gratitude is the highest frequency. Soyeah, definitely when you can start to
be grateful. And here's the interestingthing that happens with life. I feel
like it's some of the hardest moments, not when you're in them, not
when you're the eye of the storm, but when you come out of them
(32:34):
and when you grow and you learnand you evolve. There are actually some
of the moments that I'm most thankfulfor. Yeah, because it was through
that discomfort that I really had tostep up and you know, peel off
some layers and reconnect to myself.And without those I wouldn't have been able
to do that. What about forthe people who haven't put effort and to
(33:00):
putting themselves first, haven't done reallyany work. Where would you recommend they
begin? Would it be therapy orOh that's a really good question. I
taught a manifestation class. I thinkwe had about fifteen twenty women and I
asked them, if you know whatyou want to, put your hand up.
Two women put their hand up,and I said, Okay, if
(33:24):
that's you, here's where you canstart. Write down all of the things
that you don't want write down allof the things that piss you off.
Write down all of the things thatyou just totally fucking over. And I
know this sounds a little bit counterintuitive, especially when it comes to manifesting,
but it's that is how you'll startto get an idea because we're actually really
trained in talking about what we don'twant. And you know, as you
(33:49):
start to voice your desires and whatyou want in life, it doesn't really
always fit into the circles that you'rewith. So if it's like, you
know, I don't want to getto the end of the month and have
no money left, it's like,well, what is it that you want?
And it's like, I want moremoney? Okay, Well what does
more money look like? Because ifyou find a dollar on the ground,
that's more money. Okay, wellI want five thousand dollars. If you
(34:10):
can't even write that on paper andyou're feeling resistance around that, that is
always information. You know, there'sa relationship money stuff to heal. If
it's like, you know, Ijust want to feel more peace in my
life or or joy in my life, because you know, right now,
I don't want to have like somuch chaos or my monkey mind going all
(34:30):
the time. Okay, what's theopposite of having a monkey mind? It's
feeling like peace and joy. Youknow, I don't want to be in
pain anymore. Okay, well,what's the opposite of that? So that's
probably that's that's kind of what wedo in the manifestation class because you know,
we're so used to talking about whatwe don't want, and that gives
you a good starting point to findthe opposite of that thing and focus on
(34:52):
that. So it's funny because it'sa manifestation class, but it's also a
self development class. Manifestation is likespiritual one oh one. Yeah, a
lot of people don't know that though. Yeah, because here's the thing.
I did a lot of healing witha lot of mentors, and I absolutely
love every healer that I've ever visited. What started to actually happen in my
(35:15):
life was I'd go to the healerand I'd feel much much better about myself.
But things weren't actually really changing inmy reality, Like my bank balance
wasn't changing, my relationships weren't reallygetting better. But I felt better.
Yeah, maybe I was like,you know, speaking my truth a little
bit more. Why I'm like soobsessed with manifestation was it was the first
(35:36):
time that I had to put mydesires out to the universe and you were
actually here to co create. SoI was like, Okay, this is
like really interesting. And I recentlymanifested a car. You will not believe
how much fucking car trauma I had. So I wrote down that I want
to manifest a car, and Ihave this process. So it's like,
(35:59):
you know, decide what you wantto, get really clear about it,
and then we look at like whyyou want that particular thing, And then
here's where a lot of healing happensfor a lot of people. It's like,
why don't you want it? Andthen what are all the uncomfortable,
shitty moments that you've ever experienced withthat particular thing. Money is the biggest
(36:20):
one for people. And then relationships. I'm working with this beautiful girl right
now and she wants to manifest arelationship. And we looked at her childhood
and you know, relationships just aren'tsafe for her, like it is not
an attractive offer to her subconscious tobe in a relationship. And so here's
the thing. When you're doing likethe manifestation process, you're doing your desires.
So you're coro creating with the universe, and then you're starting to clear
(36:45):
you seeing all your programs. You'reletting go of resistance because it's that resistance
that holds us back from being ourtrue self. And the more that I
did this, it was like,oh my god, Like I really feel
like me now. And every timeI manifest something new, I'm like,
oh my god, this always getsme closer to me because it's not just
getting what I want, it's becomingmore of who I am. It's trusting
(37:07):
myself. It's you know, beingable to avoid I want to know my
worth. Yeah, it's just thewhole process. I love that. I
feel like there's a misconception with manifestationwhere it's Chanelle bugs and cut. Yeah,
and it's not that. It's notthat it's not that you can't manifest
a holiday or anything, but it'sthe you know what it is, it's
(37:28):
the process of becoming you. Yes, I love that. I was gonna
say, I like, we needto label it differently, but maybe we
just need to bring more awareness towhat manifestation actually is. Are you still
offering your course? Yeah, Istill have my cause, so I have
it as self paced and it's basicallyall of the stuff that I do with
(37:49):
my one on one So we justkind of work that all into the self
paced cause I did obsessions with herand you were amazing. I feel like
that's where a lot of awareness cameand I got some tools and insight into
how to move forward, how toalign with myself, and then how to
hammer away or what trauma I neededto hammer away at. And then there's
(38:12):
different modalities like I did academy andinfusion therapy and I did therapy and I
figured out what makes me happy.Like I was telling Rebecca, my favorite
part of the day is the evening. I go for a walk by myself
and I listened to an audiobook andI'm so happy. Like it's so weird.
I know it sounds so boring,but I feel like it's important to
do things that make you happy,and figuring out what those things are is
(38:36):
step number one. This is suchan interesting tope because I was in Bali.
I manifested a two month trip toBali and I was laying there,
you know, I had somebody cleaningthe pool and somebody doing the trees and
somebody picking out my washing, andI'm like, well, I'm I not
happy, and literally the sun wasshowing. I think it was twenty six
degrees every day when I woke up. And it's like, we really have
(39:00):
to be honest with ourselves about whatmakes us happy. When I sit down
in the morning and I do mygratitude, that fills my heart with joy.
I can sit and do research allday. That feeds my soul like
nothing else. So if I havea choice on a Saturday going shopping or
going on a yacht and getting todo research, I will literally sit in
(39:22):
my office and do research. Ihave to be really honest to myself about
that, Like that's what feeds mysoul. This is not a society wish,
This is my wish. This iswhat I just love doing. And
I think that's also a very interestingthing that kind of starts to happen and
you know, telling people what didyou do all weekend? And we were
talking about that earlier. It waslike I thought, the more the busier
(39:42):
I was, the more I wasdoing, the more parties I was invited
to, the more important I was, And you know that's not even a
thing for me anymore. Well,I think the issue is, as we
would view ourselves from being twenty orthirty and now it's like that wouldn't make
me happy. I have no desireto go to a bar or stay out
past eight pm. Like that doesnot sound fun to me at all.
(40:06):
And I don't care if I soundboring. I want to get up early
and meditate, like that's what makesme happy. But he's the thing you're
labeling and as boring. So whyare you laying labeling that is boring?
Because that's in my subconscious mind asbeing boring. Someone told me that.
I don't know the Yeah, thebelief is there, but I don't think
I'm fine with it being what societywould label is boring. I'm okay with
(40:30):
it. If I wasn't, thenI wouldn't have That's when you become more
you, then you're more okay withthese kind of things. All right,
well let's wrap up. It's likethe perfect time to wrap up anyway.
Thank you so much for being on. You need to come on more.
How do people book your class?So if you go onto my Instagram,
there's a link and you can definitelysign up for the Rise and Bloom.
(40:55):
It's a self scheduled four week ofcourse, we also have a membership because
this is what a lot of peopledon't know about Manifestation. It's like going
to the gym. If you doit once, you know you're going to
feel good for that month, andif you stop going, it's going to
stop working. And we're manifesting inevery moment. So we created this membership
(41:15):
so that you know we're going todo a full moon forgiveness process, because
you know it's the more you doit, the more confident you get.
The more confident you get, thebetter you feel. So we have that
as well, and if if youwant to do one on once, I
have that to offer. What's yourwebsite www dot Rebecca Wilson dot net and
(41:36):
then your Instagram handle is at manifestationdot mama m A mma. Okay,
well, thank you so much forbeing on. We'll have to arrange this
again perfect. I would absolutely loveto be so good seeing me too.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon, Bye bye. I'm open to guest
(42:04):
suggestions. If you know someone thatyou feel would be a good guest to
be on the podcast, please sendme their information via email mediumcreem at gmail
dot com. Thank you so muchfor all of your support and for listening
Hi, everyone. I have Rebeccahere with me. Hi. We've been
talking for the last thirty minutes,and she's like, just hit record,
we'll figure it out. One thingthat I want, We'll just pick up
where we left off. One thingthat I wanted to discuss was how everybody
talks about awakening. You're gonna awaken, You're going to become more aware.
I used to think it meant somethingdifferent. Now I realize that awakening is
(00:36):
becoming aware of your mind, becomingaware that your mind is running the show.
Right, what's your definition of awakening. I definitely agree with what you're
saying. I also think awakening isit has a lot to do with waking
up to the truth of who youreally are. Right. So, a
(00:57):
lot of us have a tendency tosee our a past version of ourselves,
which is in the mind. Absolutely. So the moment that we're living is
because of all of our past experiences, and then we're kind of also living
in a way because of what wethink that the future is going to be
(01:17):
like, and so we're never actuallyliving in the here and the now.
And another thing that has actually comeup. I interviewed a lot of women
over the last couple of weeks isthat they haven't been able to authentically express
themselves their desires, their wants,their needs. And when we suppress this
(01:38):
part of us, we obviously suppressa lot of emotions that go with it.
But it's through the expression that wecome closer to our truth and who
we really really are. And themore that you do that, and you
were just talking about, you know, saying what you want, saying how
it should be, asking for support, you start to awaken something inside of
(02:00):
your yeah, a lot, andyou start to feel fulfilled and you're like,
I don't know why this feels different, but it feels different. It's
because she's speaking speaking of truth,and you feel a lot. So what
we were discussing was how through thelast six months, I've been on this
transformative journey where I feel happier thanI ever have felt and more connected to
(02:22):
myself. And everything's the same,nothing has changed except me and my mindset
and my perspective. And we werejust talking about relationships and how I think
a lot of women have a tendencyto I don't know if it's selling themselves
short, but we, especially beinga mom, a lot of the expectations
(02:43):
of the kid's stuff goes on us, and we have to balance our working
life and our family life, includinggetting dinner ready and house chores, grocery
shopping. Everything falls on us,and I feel like a lot of us
have a tendency to allow it becausethat's the way we were raised and those
are the beliefs that we grew upwith, and upon growing you have the
(03:10):
awareness one that you could have askedfor help and two that you're in a
partnership. I absolutely have to agree. And this is literally the theme that
I've been covering for the last twoweeks. So eight years ago, I
was together with my husband. Ididn't know I was compromising. I was
(03:30):
putting everybody else's needs before my own. But I thought, that's what I'm
supposed to do. That's what makesme a good mum, that's what makes
me a good wife, That's whatmakes me not like my mom. So
I was offering operating from this placeof projection. You know, I'll do
anything and everything, so I'm notlike my mom. And I was never
(03:51):
being me. I was being everythingbut me, And like you said,
we had these beliefs. So oneof the things that actually came up when
I was interviewing all these women,is they just don't feel supported, and
it feels like that even if wewere to be supported, we then feel
guilty about having support. Oh theguilt, the guilt, and then you
(04:15):
have to make up for it becauseyou're you're supported. Sorry, no,
no, no, go ahead.I just as you're talking, I'm like,
yes, the guilt because you're supported. And then you have guilt because
you're supported, and then you haveto make up for that, whether it's
like Okay, I'm gonna do X, Y and Z tomorrow because you did.
You helped me instead of just beinglike this is where partners and we're
gonna partner up and raise these kidstogether. Oh my god. I used
(04:40):
to feel guilty about sitting in thebathtub for like twenty minutes. Same,
like feel guilty that my husband hadto like do something with the kids,
or you know, I'd go andget my hair cut after six months,
and I'd just be sitting there like, oh, I should be at home
and I should be doing this andthat should be getting done. My friend
actually came to visit me one dayand she's like, I actually had a
headache from fucking watching you like youliterally started unpacking the dishwasher. Two seconds
(05:03):
later, you know, you wentto the fridge, you pulled some stuff
out, the drawing machine started tobit, so you went and pulled the
clothes out like I was. LiterallyI can't even explain like this place where
I was at, but it wasjust like operating, operating, operating,
and it was somewhere where I didn'twant to stay. But I actually didn't
(05:24):
know that there was another way,Like, to be honest, I didn't
even know that was a fucking option. I have the same experience, and
I used to value myself based offof feeling like others thought I was a
good mom, a good wife,a good friend, what they thought.
But like I had this realization,what about me? What about what I
want? And not in a selfishway, but I realized the thing when
(05:47):
you have that realization, you feelselfish. You do, and then you
have to work through that. Whydo I feel selfish? But I had
I luckily, I had a realizationthat for the most part, I was
doing all to myself. And thiswas like years ago. When my husband
and I first got together, Iwould he was working at a different job,
so I would have to take thekids to school and make them breakfast,
(06:08):
lunch, dinner, and then hewould get home around like six fifteen
or whatever. And I, youknow, you don't really know any other
way, because that's the way thatmy mom did it, that's the way
that his mom did it. Andas we began to evolve together, I
started to have the awareness by havinganxiety and depression that I was over extending
(06:29):
myself. But it took me areally long time to figure it out.
Like I didn't realize it until Iwould say, within the last year,
Like realized that I felt overwhelmed becausenot only am I responsible for my schedule,
I'm responsible for my daughter's schedule,her soccer schedule, my son's schedule,
his basketball schedule, and then Carson'sschedule and the days of his days
(06:50):
off. I have to take thosedays off. But I was doing it
to myself. It wasn't until Istarted to tell my husband, like,
Hey, I have a reading onthis day, can you pick Carson up?
Yeah? He never once said no, Like for the most part,
he wouldn't say now it was mostlymy doing, and yeah, he got
used to having the good life fora significant amount of time. But I
(07:15):
would have conversations with him, likeif I'm happy, then it's easier for
me to be a good mom anda good spouse. And so now I
feel like we are really good partners, Like now I'll do the breakfast stuff
and then he'll do pick up andhelp with dinner, and it's definitely more
balanced. But it took us alot of work to get to this point,
like because I didn't realize I wasdoing it where you didn't realize it
(07:36):
either, right, I didn't realizeit at all. And now we've been
separated for about four years, andobviously I'm working, and I just thought,
God, that must be magic havingsomeone doing your like washing and ironing,
and you come home and the fringespool and the dinners on the table.
I was like, oh my god, he had it so good.
(07:57):
And then Sundays like the whole dayat the football, you know, my
forty minutes that they had dress orI'd be like sweating, And yeah,
it's really interesting. But there aresome big shifts and there are some big
changes happening, and it's just beautifultowards I feel like a lot of women
struggle with finding their place as amom, as a wife and finding happiness
(08:20):
within that because a lot of thepressure does go on to us. And
I agree with you, that's fuckingamazing to have everything done and all you
have to do is eat dinner andthen we would like do dishes and clean
up and whatever. But yeah,I just I thankfully I'm at a better
place with in my relationship. Butthe reason why I want to talk about
(08:43):
this was because I feel like alot of women struggle with this, but
they don't realize that they're struggling withit, and then they're depressed or they
have anxiety. And I do feellike nine times out of ten, it's
because a lot of the chores areput on them. Yeah. Absolutely,
I got to a place similar toyou where I was depressed. I had
a coffee shop, I had aproperty company we were renovating. Like my
(09:09):
body just wasn't coping. I wasdoing like four hours of sleep every night.
I had two small children, andI got to the point where I
just couldn't do it anymore and Icouldn't hide it anymore. And I went
to my husband. I was justlike, I can't do the coffee shop
anymore. And the first thing hesaid to me was like, well,
what are the people of Saint tuneIs going to think? And I said,
for the first time in my life, I do not give a shit.
(09:31):
And that was the moment I feltlike my power coming back, the
moment that I was ready to justlet go of what everybody thought of me
and just to take care of myself, take care of my body. Everything
changed. And then I read TheUntethered Soul. I think I literally locked
myself in my office for about threemonths and read The Untetted Soul. And
(09:56):
I was like, is there bookslike this? And I had this love
of fair with Amazon. It waslike dingdong, the next book would come
I'd read, the next book wouldcome from and I really started to like
it. Just felt like, Iknow this sounds so cliche, but the
curtain dropped and I started really thequestion, you know, the house,
(10:16):
the family, like how I evengot there, how it happened? And
I started to see that, youknow, we actually have all of these
subconscious programs. So it's like whateveryou saw, whatever you heard, whatever
you experience as a child, youhave a file for that. So you
tend to recreate your childhood experience itor you do the complete opposite. So
(10:37):
you're literally operating from all of theseprograms. And when you start to understand
that and when you start to payattention, and you know, my mentor
used to say this to me allthe time, Rebecca, pay attention,
paytention. I'd never paid attention inmy life, so I didn't. You
know, It's like explaining to aguide how to give birth. And they
came a moment where, you know, I started to really pay attention and
(11:01):
to see what was happening on thescreen in front of me. And the
next step after that was to takeresponsibility for what was happening that was playing
out on the screen in front ofme. Because I think up until that
point, you know, I justhad kind of thought this is how life
is, right, I hadn't takenreally much responsibility for what was happening.
(11:24):
And it's just, you know,when you start to write these things down
and reflect and see how you gotthere, and you start to understand the
entirety of it all, I justfeel like there are so many things that
start to click. So funny,as you're talking, I'm remembering a session
(11:45):
we had. I think it waslike a year and a half ago.
You had told me to read thebuck. Why men love bitches? Yes,
yeah, And I feel like thatwas a lot of awareness where I
realized I'm acting from a place oflike fear, like if I don't do
this, then he's not going tobe happy. And my husband never like
I created all of this, Hedidn't put any of that on me.
(12:07):
I just had this fear of Idon't know if it was being alone or
things not working or being I haveno idea where the fear is coming from.
But it wasn't until you told methat, And that's when I started
to have more of a say.And I do want to say I had
postpartum depression for three years after Ihad my son, and so it helped
(12:30):
to play into that role of I'mscared, like I'm not a good mom,
I'm not a good wife, andmaking the like decisions from that perspective
instead of feeling like, Okay,this is just something that I'm going through.
I'm allowed to ask for help.I couldn't ask for help. I
felt so weak asking for help.I would feel so guilty asking for help.
If I ask for help, I'mweak. And so it's like as
(12:54):
as children, it's it's black andwhite. If I ask for help,
I'm wake and if I don't askfor help, I'm wrong. And so
we create that program. And theother thing that you said, where does
the fear come from? As humans? We are you know, love and
connection equals survival for us and rejectionbecause of our tribal days, if we
(13:18):
were rejected from the tribe, we'dactually die because we needed the community to
survive. And so it's actually stillvery hard wired into us, and that's
why we often trade external validation forauthenticity because we want to fit in.
They've actually done studies on this andthey're so fascinating. They literally have like
three actors and then they'll have anotherperson and they will draw four lines and
(13:43):
say line B is the longest,and they will say to everyone, like,
which is the longest line, Andthe actors will say line C,
line C, And you can seethe person kind of looking at them and
he wants to say line B becausethat's the longest line, but because everybody
else in the group is saying limeC, he ends up saying lime C
(14:03):
because he wants to be part ofthe group. Wow. I mean,
think of all of the things thatyou did to fit in. If you
got rejected by the cool group atschool. It's like, what do I
have to do to be cool?What do I have to do to feel
like? Because it creates a negativefeeling or an uncomfortable feeling or a negative
emotion in us. And then thesenegative emotions create the thought I'm not good
(14:26):
enough, I don't fit in,nobody likes me, and so you have
that belief like I'm not worthy,I'm not likable, I'm not important,
and then the belief creates another thoughtthat creates a feeling that creates a chemical
reaction, and then you just endup on that loop until you recognize that,
but you're not aware. I thinkthat's the most important part is before
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I thought like we're aware of that, but we're not aware until we're aware,
Like you're doing that and you canbe going to therapy and doing work
on yourself. But I feel likeone day it just clicks, Like one
day you just have this awareness thatcomes in and you're like, why did
you start questioning things? Why amI doing this? Why didn't I ask
(15:09):
for help? Why do I believethat? Where is it coming from?
And that's when I feel like thehealing starts to happen. And then change
starts to happen as well. Yeah, absolutely have to share this. I
actually posted on my Instagram, butI was working with a client. We've
been working together for almost a year, and she's given me a permission to
share this. But she's like,I fucking hate my husband, like I
(15:31):
resent him, Like anytime I wantto do something, I just have to
like I just hate him. AndI was like, oh my god.
The medical intuitive work, it's reallyimportant to go to the absolute root cause,
the moment, the point of originthat began, because there's always a
reason, Like there's always a reason, and you know, when you have
that much hate towards somebody, there'shuge healing behind that. And so we
(15:56):
end up on her wedding day andyou know, and I said, tell
me about it, and she goes, it was just like this huge frat
party. And I said okay,and she's like, I'm pissed at him.
I'm pissed his friends. You know, I made all of these beautiful
things. And I said, okay, I want you to walk over to
yourself and I want you to lookat yourself and I want you to ask
yourself a question. She goes,okay, and I said, do you
even want to get married? Andshe's like, ah fuck, and literally
(16:22):
she said, the room is likespinning, like it's not even him.
I said yes, and I said, well, let's look at why you
said yes, And then you goback further, and then you go back
further and it's just like you.It's it's these moments, I think when
you have these aha moments, they'rejust life changing. Like I can't get
enough with them, you know,to change my jobs every every couple of
(16:45):
months, you know, change myclothes. That this is something I never
ever get tired of, Like thisaha moments, these realizations, this when
you recognize like it's just you know, a program that has been operating from
let's take a moment to pause fora quick ad. I think that we
(17:11):
all are on a journey to becomingmore aware of our programs, and it
looks different for everyone. For me, it has been the mental health struggles
that have shown me the way.And I never thought I would look back
and be thankful for just the debilitatinganxiety and the hopeless depression and thinking that
(17:36):
I was never going to get better. But now looking back, I realized
that every single moment that I've everhad anxiety was because I was over extending
myself doing something that I didn't Ifelt I had to do. In the
moment, I'm not realizing of it. It's just like, Oh, it's
someone wants me to show up forthis. Well, they're in my life.
I have to do that. Thenokay, I have to be good
(17:57):
friend. I have to be goodright, But what am I gonna miss
that I can't say no? Andit wasn't until this past like two months
ago, where I was working withthis doctor and he's like, I don't
think I can help you, andI swear to God in that moment,
it was like time stopped and Icould hear my thoughts and I started analyzing
(18:18):
why do I feel this way?And I started talking out loud and I
told him I'm like, this iswhat's going on in my life. And
he's like, none of that hasanything to do with you, though.
That's people in your life, butthat's their story. And that's when I
realized, Okay, I'm gonna letthem go down their path. I'm not
going to save anyone anymore, andI'm going to focus on my mental health
and from those experiences, I amokay with saying no, now I am
(18:42):
okay with housing a boundary because I'mnot going back to that place anymore.
Oh. He is the thing withwomen, we have such a by threshold
for pain and suffering. Yeah,and that's what actually has to get as
bad as it gives the anxiety,depression, the andrometia, otis, the
(19:03):
migraines, because that's always our bodyhelping us. It's always a signal that
something needs to change. But youknow, something has to almost be that
bad for women to change something.You know, we can always if you're
questioning it, that is your cluesomething needs to change, right, So
don't wait till it gets as badas it did for us. But it's
(19:27):
it's always like and then you're questioningit, and then you think, you
know, maybe I want more,and then you have this guilty feeling of
like wanting more and being more andthen doing more, and then it plays
into it like, you know,I don't want to be a sure off,
I don't want to upset anybody inmy family, and there's just so
much stuff and really family stuff.Yeah, when you become aware of all
(19:48):
this, I feel like that's whenwhen the big awakening happens, and you
don't just have one awakening. Let'smake that clear for everybody. That isn't
it just It's not a one off, one and done thing. It is
a process that continues to happen overand over and overy. I feel like
there's awakenings inside of awakenings, LikeI feel like I was in this spiritual
awakening for the last eight years sincemy friend died, and I feel like
(20:11):
now I have I'm on the outskirtsof it where I feel like I had
multiple awakenings within that. But thebiggest thing that I realized was I am
allowed to protect my peace, regardlessof what that means, like meaning I'm
allowed to have a boundary. Maybeyou wouldn't be okay with that boundary,
(20:33):
But I don't have to explain myselfwhy I have the boundary. I don't
have to defend it. I canknow in my heart that if it feels
right for me, then that's okay, and I don't have to I don't
have to over explain. That's whatI used to do. I would literally
have arguments in my fucking head withsomeone and they're not involved at all,
where Like I'm defending myself and theydidn't say shit, And it's just like
(20:56):
again like this old programming, likewell what if they say this, what
if they get mad at me forthis? Well, and then like literally
driving myself fucking crazy so much energy, and that's that's a trauma response to
what you're having right there. AndI want to tell you something that's going
to make it really easy, becauseI know a lot of women have this.
If you are saying yes to otherpeople to please them whatever, you're
(21:18):
serving their personality and you're not servingtheir soul. That is the best.
The second thing is if you sayyes and you have the energy of like
I have, I really don't wantto do this, you're taking that energy
in there, so it's not goingto be the highest and best solution.
Even though you know, maybe yousay I can't help you move house today,
(21:41):
the person feels a little bit disappointed. You could actually be clock blocking
them from finding their soulmate because youknow, they're they're carrying the heavy boxes
and some guy comes up and he'slike, oh my god, you're struggling.
Have you got nobody to help you? And then she meets a soulmate.
So if you kind of said yesand then you were helping her,
he would have felt intimidated and wentby. So know that when you say
(22:07):
yes to yourself, you are actuallysaying yes to everybody else's soul growth as
well. Yeah, this happened actuallyrecently with my boyfriend. He had to
let somebody go who was kind ofdoing this building project for him, and
he's like, I feel so bad. I really want to helping and I
said no, like, think aboutwhat you want and what's the best for
you. So this goes on fora couple of weeks. He ended up
(22:30):
saying to the guy like, I'mjust going to have to let you go.
This is not working out. Andthe guy actually ended up being like
super relieved because he felt like somuch pressure and then all of a sudden
the pressure and he's just like,it was like the best decision that we
made for everyone. So in theend, when you say yes to you,
it is actually going to be thebest decision for everyone. Well.
Yeah, and I've realized too thatit's My relationship is incredible now that I'm
(22:53):
putting myself first. I'm happy.My husband's very passive, easy going,
and I feel like he works betterwhen I know what I want and I'm
vocal about it and love that ship. Yeah. I didn't think so though,
but you're the one that told me, oh my god, please,
I absolutely love that book. Itjust it actually fell on my head in
(23:15):
a Bali bookstore, of Yes ofall places, and I was like,
yeah, okay. And I rideback from Bali and my boyfriend was like,
I don't know what you've done,but do more of it. And
I was like, I just reada book. He's like, no,
it was it was something else.I was like, no, I just
read a book. And he waslike he was like looking at me.
(23:37):
His eyes were so big because itreally highlighted like, you know, when
I was acting like the doormat,when I was acting you know, desperate
or and you're absolutely right, likewhen you start to know you're worth that's
what it comes back to and whatyou're worthy of you and you put yourself
first. You know, people canonly treat you the way they betray yourself.
(24:00):
And I spent a lot of yearsbeing angry at my husband. I
was like, you know, Iwas doing this for him and doing that
and he showed me no respect.But when I started to dig a little
bit deeper, I thought, well, was I even showing my self respect
right? So he can't put mefirst? If I can't even put myself
first, that was a big truthpeel for me. I know, reflecting
(24:23):
back, I was such a bitch, like I don't know how where.
I was just so angry, likestill processing a lot of trauma for my
friend dying, and then just somuch crap. We've been through so much,
and I am so thankful that wewere able to get through those hard
moments. And I want to saytoo, this wasn't like our journey was
(24:45):
very mess messy. I feel likewe're making it sound a little graceful.
No, there was periods of timewe were like struggling and didn't know why
we felt the way that we felt. But what I have realized whenever I'm
making a decision, regardless of it, is if somebody invites you to their
birthday party and I don't want togo, not because I'm being an avoidant
or an introvert, more because there'sthis feeling in me that's like doesn't want
(25:10):
to go, then I'm not goingto force myself to go. I feel
like people are going to argue withus, but I feel like it's so
important to protect your peace because you'llcontinue to cross that boundary and continue to
push yourself further and do things thatyou don't want to do be around people
that are toxic. So I feellike it's important to always put yourself first
(25:30):
or making and if you don't wantto go to that birthday party, then
maybe you do something one on onewith that person instead. Like it's not
being completely avoidant, it's figuring outwhat works for you, what's healthy for
you, absolutely, because it's actuallywhen you are saying yes and you actually
want to say no, you laka load of energy. And when you're
leaking energy, you're not living analigned life. And you know, one
(25:53):
of our biggest purpose is to livean authentically aligned life, and it's really
hard to do that when you're sayingyes and you want to saying no when
you you know, and we alwayswe grow when we evolve, when we
change. So we used to havethese conversations and we'd be really like driving
with it, and all of asudden, it's like, you know,
I just can't be having these conversationsanymore. Or you know, I used
to drink champagne and I thought itwas amazing and now it's like I drink
(26:15):
half a glass and I'm like,why don't I love it anymore? Like
I kind of question and question myselfabout it. So you know, it's
just accepting that as well, andwhy I think that, Like we all
evolve, and so like maybe thatold version of you enjoy champagne and now
you tease sit it and you don'tlike it, and instead of clinging to
(26:36):
it and continue to drink it,just accepting that now you don't like it.
I feel like a lot of ushumans have a tendency to clean through
two things or resist and we're justallowed just let it flow, like every
moment you're being born into a newperson. Yeah, but that's that's such
a good point. Like it's likewhy am I clinging to it? And
you know, for a lot ofpeople, like alcohol is connection, it's
fitting in. And I'm not judgingit because I'll drink a glass of ship
(27:00):
plain every now and then. Butit's like people will tell you, you
know, I have fun. Ihave so much more fun now that I'm
not drinking. And if you toldthe twenty year old version of me,
I probably would have like ran off, thinking this woman's crazy. But it's
so true, and it's like,you know what I really what do I
really get out of it? Andit's connection, it's fitting in, it's
you know, feeling more confident.And when you start to realize you don't
(27:23):
need alcohol to do that, that'swhen things change. So if you are
clinging onto something, you're not actuallyclinging onto the alcohol or the cigarettes or
the toxic relationships. It's something muchmuch deeper than that. So it's funny
because now, before when I wouldfeel something, I would get scared from
the feeling, which is why Ihave an anxiety disorder. Now I question,
(27:45):
what is that poking? Why doI have a tendency to react that
way? Let's look at this deeperAnd maybe I can't figure it out right
now and I'm going to go ona walk and then it'll come up,
or maybe I just need a surrenderand it'll come up in a couple of
weeks. But I feel like I'vedeveloped the awareness to stake it, take
a step back, and not reactright away. And how I have a
knowing that it's poking an unhealed wound. Yeah, I have a saying when
(28:08):
you can feel, you are free. Because the majority of our day is
geared to not feeling particular emotions,not wanting to feel a particular way.
If you've you know, did somethingthat made you feel it felt very embarrassed
or shame or guilt, you tryto do things to avoid feeling that.
And that's when we start to loseourselves. And this is a huge you
(28:30):
know, every single physical ailment.When people are coming to me with a
symptom, ninety nine point nine percentthings behind that those symptoms are actually emotion,
unprocessed emotion, childhood trauma, thestories we've been told ourselves, and
yeah, and when you can justlet that be. And I know people
(28:51):
are like, well, how dowe even do that? It's a little
bit like golf or yogurt does takea little practice, you know yourself.
But I feel like the first stepis we tend to clench down on our
emotions, like I don't want tofeel that, you know, you get
dumped, Oh my god, thisis painful. I never want to get
hurt again. And then you goand kind of numb yourself. But the
thing that I always do is Iset the intention to stay open and to
(29:12):
let the energy move through me,and then I won't say like I'm pissed
off. I will say the feelingof being pissed off is moving through me,
and I'm going to allow it tomove through me. So I'm almost
like guiding it. And you know, you can actually start to have a
conversation. You know, what colorwould it be? You know? Where
is it in my body? Andit kind of takes the edge of it
(29:33):
when you name it, you claimit, and then you know that you're
in charge of that. And youknow, the more that you awake and
the more spiritual, it doesn't stophappening. It's just that you have the
tools to kind of deal with it. It's kind of like life is like
getting on a boat and you andyou know, you don't have any instructions.
Nobody's told you how to drive theboat, and you know you have
(29:55):
to cross the sea and there's goingto be storms and you have no idea
how to do this. And whenyou have like tools where you can learn
breathwork or how to process your emotions, or you're working with a mentor,
it's like giving you the instructions.You know, the rough seas are going
to still be there, the rainis still going to fall. It's not
like all of a sudden, youget to avoid all all of that stuff
and bypass it. So I feellike that was a little bit of a
(30:18):
misconception. Like I literally asked myfriend, I'm like, when we're spiritual,
do we just smile all the time? Or we like to say fuck?
Like literally we were asking saying Iused to change that too, and
people would judge me, like ifyou're a medium or if you're a spiritual,
why do you say fuck? AndI used to judge myself too,
like, oh, I can't actlike that because it makes other people uncomfortable
or I'm not supposed to be thatway. Well, he's spirituality is just
(30:41):
about being you and right, Iremember, like I went from like never
yelling at my kids, never youknow, saying being loud or anything like
that, and all of a sudden, when I found my voice, you
know, everything came back and Iwas yelling. And my husband even said,
I thought you were spiritual, nowwhy you Like he was totally confused,
and I'm like, because this isme, this is how I'm feeling.
(31:03):
I'm just gonna let it out andI'm gonna be totally fucking okay with
it. So yeah, I definitelyfeel like there's a lot of misconceptions around
the One thing that helps me,especially with like loss, with whether it's
like a friendship or a death,or is knowing that like part of life
is sharing beautiful moments with people andhaving experiences with them. And this is
(31:29):
really hard, but bear with me, trying to have the mindset of being
grateful for that moment that you experiencewith them and knowing that another beautiful moment
will appear and maybe it's not withthat person, it'll be with someone else,
but just having gratitude for it.And I feel like that's what my
dad's passing has taught me, justbeing thankful for the lessons instead of the
(31:51):
tragedy and trauma around all of it. And I think that's because I processed
a lot of the trauma. Imean, I've been in therapy since I
was eight, and the primary focuswas on him, So maybe that's why
I've come to this realization. ButI just feel like more grateful for life
and for the experiences. And Ifeel like I'm before I was in the
(32:13):
hall and now I'm poking myself outof the hole and the sun starting to
shine, and I just I feelvery hopeful. Oh, I love the
gratitude is the highest frequency. Soyeah, definitely when you can start to
be grateful. And here's the interestingthing that happens with life. I feel
like it's some of the hardest moments, not when you're in them, not
when you're the eye of the storm, but when you come out of them
(32:34):
and when you grow and you learnand you evolve. There are actually some
of the moments that I'm most thankfulfor. Yeah, because it was through
that discomfort that I really had tostep up and you know, peel off
some layers and reconnect to myself.And without those I wouldn't have been able
to do that. What about forthe people who haven't put effort and to
(33:00):
putting themselves first, haven't done reallyany work. Where would you recommend they
begin? Would it be therapy orOh that's a really good question. I
taught a manifestation class. I thinkwe had about fifteen twenty women and I
asked them, if you know whatyou want to, put your hand up.
Two women put their hand up,and I said, Okay, if
(33:24):
that's you, here's where you canstart. Write down all of the things
that you don't want write down allof the things that piss you off.
Write down all of the things thatyou just totally fucking over. And I
know this sounds a little bit counterintuitive, especially when it comes to manifesting,
but it's that is how you'll startto get an idea because we're actually really
trained in talking about what we don'twant. And you know, as you
(33:49):
start to voice your desires and whatyou want in life, it doesn't really
always fit into the circles that you'rewith. So if it's like, you
know, I don't want to getto the end of the month and have
no money left, it's like,well, what is it that you want?
And it's like, I want moremoney? Okay, Well what does
more money look like? Because ifyou find a dollar on the ground,
that's more money. Okay, wellI want five thousand dollars. If you
(34:10):
can't even write that on paper andyou're feeling resistance around that, that is
always information. You know, there'sa relationship money stuff to heal. If
it's like, you know, Ijust want to feel more peace in my
life or or joy in my life, because you know, right now,
I don't want to have like somuch chaos or my monkey mind going all
(34:30):
the time. Okay, what's theopposite of having a monkey mind? It's
feeling like peace and joy. Youknow, I don't want to be in
pain anymore. Okay, well,what's the opposite of that? So that's
probably that's that's kind of what wedo in the manifestation class because you know,
we're so used to talking about whatwe don't want, and that gives
you a good starting point to findthe opposite of that thing and focus on
(34:52):
that. So it's funny because it'sa manifestation class, but it's also a
self development class. Manifestation is likespiritual one oh one. Yeah, a
lot of people don't know that though. Yeah, because here's the thing.
I did a lot of healing witha lot of mentors, and I absolutely
love every healer that I've ever visited. What started to actually happen in my
(35:15):
life was I'd go to the healerand I'd feel much much better about myself.
But things weren't actually really changing inmy reality, Like my bank balance
wasn't changing, my relationships weren't reallygetting better. But I felt better.
Yeah, maybe I was like,you know, speaking my truth a little
bit more. Why I'm like soobsessed with manifestation was it was the first
(35:36):
time that I had to put mydesires out to the universe and you were
actually here to co create. SoI was like, Okay, this is
like really interesting. And I recentlymanifested a car. You will not believe
how much fucking car trauma I had. So I wrote down that I want
to manifest a car, and Ihave this process. So it's like,
(35:59):
you know, decide what you wantto, get really clear about it,
and then we look at like whyyou want that particular thing, And then
here's where a lot of healing happensfor a lot of people. It's like,
why don't you want it? Andthen what are all the uncomfortable,
shitty moments that you've ever experienced withthat particular thing. Money is the biggest
(36:20):
one for people. And then relationships. I'm working with this beautiful girl right
now and she wants to manifest arelationship. And we looked at her childhood
and you know, relationships just aren'tsafe for her, like it is not
an attractive offer to her subconscious tobe in a relationship. And so here's
the thing. When you're doing likethe manifestation process, you're doing your desires.
So you're coro creating with the universe, and then you're starting to clear
(36:45):
you seeing all your programs. You'reletting go of resistance because it's that resistance
that holds us back from being ourtrue self. And the more that I
did this, it was like,oh my god, Like I really feel
like me now. And every timeI manifest something new, I'm like,
oh my god, this always getsme closer to me because it's not just
getting what I want, it's becomingmore of who I am. It's trusting
(37:07):
myself. It's you know, beingable to avoid I want to know my
worth. Yeah, it's just thewhole process. I love that. I
feel like there's a misconception with manifestationwhere it's Chanelle bugs and cut. Yeah,
and it's not that. It's notthat it's not that you can't manifest
a holiday or anything, but it'sthe you know what it is, it's
(37:28):
the process of becoming you. Yes, I love that. I was gonna
say, I like, we needto label it differently, but maybe we
just need to bring more awareness towhat manifestation actually is. Are you still
offering your course? Yeah, Istill have my cause, so I have
it as self paced and it's basicallyall of the stuff that I do with
(37:49):
my one on one So we justkind of work that all into the self
paced cause I did obsessions with herand you were amazing. I feel like
that's where a lot of awareness cameand I got some tools and insight into
how to move forward, how toalign with myself, and then how to
hammer away or what trauma I neededto hammer away at. And then there's
(38:12):
different modalities like I did academy andinfusion therapy and I did therapy and I
figured out what makes me happy.Like I was telling Rebecca, my favorite
part of the day is the evening. I go for a walk by myself
and I listened to an audiobook andI'm so happy. Like it's so weird.
I know it sounds so boring,but I feel like it's important to
do things that make you happy,and figuring out what those things are is
(38:36):
step number one. This is suchan interesting tope because I was in Bali.
I manifested a two month trip toBali and I was laying there,
you know, I had somebody cleaningthe pool and somebody doing the trees and
somebody picking out my washing, andI'm like, well, I'm I not
happy, and literally the sun wasshowing. I think it was twenty six
degrees every day when I woke up. And it's like, we really have
(39:00):
to be honest with ourselves about whatmakes us happy. When I sit down
in the morning and I do mygratitude, that fills my heart with joy.
I can sit and do research allday. That feeds my soul like
nothing else. So if I havea choice on a Saturday going shopping or
going on a yacht and getting todo research, I will literally sit in
(39:22):
my office and do research. Ihave to be really honest to myself about
that, Like that's what feeds mysoul. This is not a society wish,
This is my wish. This iswhat I just love doing. And
I think that's also a very interestingthing that kind of starts to happen and
you know, telling people what didyou do all weekend? And we were
talking about that earlier. It waslike I thought, the more the busier
(39:42):
I was, the more I wasdoing, the more parties I was invited
to, the more important I was, And you know that's not even a
thing for me anymore. Well,I think the issue is, as we
would view ourselves from being twenty orthirty and now it's like that wouldn't make
me happy. I have no desireto go to a bar or stay out
past eight pm. Like that doesnot sound fun to me at all.
(40:06):
And I don't care if I soundboring. I want to get up early
and meditate, like that's what makesme happy. But he's the thing you're
labeling and as boring. So whyare you laying labeling that is boring?
Because that's in my subconscious mind asbeing boring. Someone told me that.
I don't know the Yeah, thebelief is there, but I don't think
I'm fine with it being what societywould label is boring. I'm okay with
(40:30):
it. If I wasn't, thenI wouldn't have That's when you become more
you, then you're more okay withthese kind of things. All right,
well let's wrap up. It's likethe perfect time to wrap up anyway.
Thank you so much for being on. You need to come on more.
How do people book your class?So if you go onto my Instagram,
there's a link and you can definitelysign up for the Rise and Bloom.
(40:55):
It's a self scheduled four week ofcourse, we also have a membership because
this is what a lot of peopledon't know about Manifestation. It's like going
to the gym. If you doit once, you know you're going to
feel good for that month, andif you stop going, it's going to
stop working. And we're manifesting inevery moment. So we created this membership
(41:15):
so that you know we're going todo a full moon forgiveness process, because
you know it's the more you doit, the more confident you get.
The more confident you get, thebetter you feel. So we have that
as well, and if if youwant to do one on once, I
have that to offer. What's yourwebsite www dot Rebecca Wilson dot net and
(41:36):
then your Instagram handle is at manifestationdot mama m A mma. Okay,
well, thank you so much forbeing on. We'll have to arrange this
again perfect. I would absolutely loveto be so good seeing me too.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon, Bye bye. I'm open to guest
(42:04):
suggestions. If you know someone thatyou feel would be a good guest to
be on the podcast, please sendme their information via email mediumcreem at gmail
dot com. Thank you so muchfor all of your support and for listening
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