November 28, 2024 • 54 mins
It's time for our Annual Thanksgiving Day Gratitude Show on The Best Ever You Network. Join host Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and guests Dr. Katie Eastman, Rebeccah Silence, and Kelly Learman Browne for this year's Annual Thanksgiving Day Gratitude Show on The Best Ever You Network. It's not always easy to be grateful. When you seek out and celebrate the positives in your life, your outlook and overall well-being are sure to change for the better. A practice of gratitude allows you to acknowledge what matters to you. Gratitude creates awareness, abundance, and feeling enough. So please, take those moments to notice and acknowledge the things you’re grateful for each day. This will most certainly give your outlook and mood a boost and help you learn to have perspective in all situations. Cultivate Gratitude. Together these bestselling authors and friends have a thankful chat about their lives, blessings, gratitude, forgiveness, the power of positive thinking, and friendship. Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at The Best Ever You Network!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Best Ever You Show with Elizabeth Hamilton
Garino here to help you find success in all areas
of your life. The power is in your hands. Join
our network for free at bestveru dot com and now
here's Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hey, everybody, Happy Thanksgiving. Welcome to our annual Thanksgiving Day
Gratitude Show. We're so grateful that you are with us.
This show started I don't know, probably fourteen years ago.
The Gratitude Shows started probably about ten years ago now
maybe a little bit longer than that, where my son
(00:37):
and I were testing our equipment a new microphone that
my brother sent in, and people started to call into
the show live on Thanksgiving Day morning and it was
just the most precious thing ever. And so we've decided
to just make this a thing every Thanksgiving sense. So
if you want, if you're listening and you want to
call in, you can give us a call at six
(00:59):
four six an eight seven eight five three seven press
one to join us and maybe we will bring you
on live as well. But for now I'm gonna bring
I'm going to just share with you. Our guests today
are doctor Katie Eastman, who is the author of Uplifting
and co author with Me of Percolate. And then we
(01:20):
have Rebecca Silence who is another best selling author. She's
the author of Coming Back to Life. And then we
have Kelly Leerman Brown who is the author of two
best selling books, one hundred and one Ways to Create
Mindful Forgiveness and one hundred and one Ways to Say
Thank You with both books. That all the books I
just absolutely love and so thank you all for being
(01:40):
here with us and doctor Katie. Good morning, good.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Morning, it is the sun is just coming up on
the Pacific coast.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, we're on opposite coast everybody, So we thank our
guests too for getting up at the krack of dawn
and joining us. I saw your piece with your Kitti
kat on your lap and your beautiful painted toes.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I love it. Yes, my favorite time in the morning
is when no one's up and I just sit with
the cat and have my coffee and get ready for
the day and look out at the at the water
and the mountains and it's really it's really.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Peaceful, it's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yah.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I love it all right. So you know you and
I started this podcast just about one hundred thousand years ago,
now I know we.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Started this together a long time ago, and here we are,
you know, fourteen years later, with millions of downloads and
so forth, and still no advertising, and it's all good.
Can you just give everybody a little brief intro of
who you are and what you do. It's so special
in a day like today, especially.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh sure.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
My whole thing is transforming loss into growth. And I
am I call the kind of nickname myself the loss Lady,
doctor Elizabeth Ross, with my mentor, and she's the one
that developed the five stages of grief model that all
of you have heard of. And so my whole passion
(03:09):
is to help people understand that they can learn from loss,
grow from loss, and to accept loss as a part
of our life. And on a on a weekend like this,
that's really important because a lot of people are grieving
right now. They're not just happy, and so my whole
(03:29):
approach is to help them understand that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah. And I always look through my Facebook feed on
Thanksgiving because a lot of people will write, you know,
I'm alone or I'm sad today or something like that.
So I see a lot of people listening, and we're
here for you today. On a day like that I
saw one of my Facebook friends set his Thanksgiving Day
table because he separated from family this year with a
(03:55):
bunch of stuffed animals. And it was the cutest, happiest Oh.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It was so.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, just so cute. So so, Katie, tell us a
little bit about what's happened with you this year and
why you are especially grateful.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Oh my god, I'm February fourteenth. I had pulmonary pulmonary embolism.
I had blood cloths in my lungs, and I have
had five different physicians tell me that I shouldn't have lived,
and I did because I got emergency surgery down in
Seattle and they pulled the clots out of my lungs.
(04:37):
But still it was quite a miracle. So it is
a miracle that I'm even sitting here. So this whole
year for me has been about healing and recovery, but
so much gratitude, and I just I really get don't smell,
don't sweat the small stuff on a very deep level.
So I wake up every morning now saying I'm here
(05:00):
or how could I make a difference? That's been my
passion since I lived. Is Okay, I'm here for a reason.
What is it. I'm gonna make sure I use it.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah. Yeah, we always tell the story every year. Also
that ties into that theme from perkol Ay. But I'm
gonna go back for a second and just say, you know,
I'm I'm so grateful that you're here. I think my
lucky stars every.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Day for you.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I have. I have two little angels that sit on
my night stand upstairs. One is holding a heart and
one is holding a star, and I always think, you know,
think with your heart and count your lucky stars. They're
my gratitude and they are little peaceful angels that I
got a few years ago, and they just sum it
all up. And so anyway, I'm grateful for you, and
(05:54):
I love, love, love your book Uplifting. I was hoping
you would tell people a little bit about to okay
it is.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I have been a psychotherapist for over thirty five plus years,
and I've met the most inspiring people who've gone through
the worst hell imaginable and they have risen from those
experiences to give back from their pain. And so I
have written their stories. And some of them are our
(06:26):
little kids, some of them are teenagers, some of them
are eighty year old people they've gone, the issues they've
dealt with go from anything from death to suicide, to
mental illness to all of the things that impact all
of us. So when you read my book, what you
learn is Wow, to quote my brother, you think my
(06:48):
life sucks. I mean, it's just really, this is really
important that we value each moment because so many of
us suffer unimaginable pain and we need that we need
each other to help us through those things. And those
stories are all about community and compassion and resilience.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, I love it. And it's a Balboa Press book,
And you know, you and I have a lot of
experience with hay House and Balboa Press because we wrote
the best selling book Percolate, Let Your Best Self Filter Through,
which has some stories like that in there, particularly about
my own food allergies and my father, who was a
stroke survivor from two thousand and four to twenty eighteen.
(07:32):
And I always tell the story every year on this
show about you know, my dad survived things that he
wasn't supposed to survive and somehow did and they had
him in a finally in a rehab facility and it
took probably, you know, maybe an hour or so to
get him ready for a speech therapy session that they
(07:52):
you know, customer, you know, they do regular that's you know,
like a regular part of the rehab. And he went
down into the nurse this area with me and my mom,
and the nurse said to us, you know, this is
a moment where most people in your father's condition don't
say anything, but we're going to do this anyway, and
we're going to play the alphabet game with your dad.
And when I say, he said, she said, when I
(08:14):
say we're a letter, Jim, you say what word comes
to mind? And she said the letter A first, and
he said Ardvark and we were all like, oh god,
I don't know where this is going, drugs, on board, whatever.
And then he said benevolence, courage, determination, excellence. F was
a swear word that I've changed to faith, goodness, happiness, integrity, joy, love,
(08:36):
on and on and on. M was movies and P
was platypus. So in our book, we have you know,
find your inner Ardvark and Platypus in there, and that's
what that chapter is all about. And it was kind
of in that moment where I was having my own
you know, crisis if you will, with food allergies. I
had been resuscitated and just was really struckruggling with you know,
(09:01):
oh woe is me victim? And he rattled off this
list of words in this condition and I'm like, oh,
I'm an idiot, hang on, you know kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And I was like, oh, wait a minute, I get this.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
We're going to persevere a little bit and tough enough
and get some resilience and have some faith and hope
and all these words he was rattling off. And it's
kind of the moment where Percolate was born. I wrote,
I drew this really terrible teapot and wrote Percolate ABC's
of Life, and then met Katie and she helped develop
that book into the beautiful coffee metaphor that it is.
(09:36):
It's just one big coffee metaphor with Katie's genius behind it.
And so I always thankful for you, Katie, in so
many different ways, and just your friendship and your strength,
your resilience, your courage, your wisdom, just everything about you
is just something that I'm so grateful for. So I'm
(09:58):
so glad you're with me today, us today, and you
get to share the joy and share the love. So
thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well my pleasure, and of course I share the gratitude
as well. Elizabeth. I mean, you and I are so
we have so much fun together, and we really crafted
Percolate in your pool, which was a total blast, and
we just banter back and forth beautifully, and we think
the same way. And I think the fact that we've
(10:26):
both almost died has really kind of connected us to
the rest of the world in a special way. So
thank you. I am most grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Thank you, and to everybody with food allergies who's listening,
and we're going to bring on our other guests here
in a minute. I just want to say this is
a tough holiday for us. You know. Food allergies are
every day, every moment and everything, and so when we
have these holidays that are centered around food, we really
have to be careful. And so I'm always grateful for
Sally hust She's not with me on the call today,
(10:55):
not with us on the call today, but she and
I wrote a best one book called A Lesson for
Every Child Learning about Food Allergies, and last night as
we were texting Happy Thanksgiving to each other, you know,
keep in mind she's eighty six and texting, which is amazing,
and writing books and beautiful artwork and so forth. But
she's like, we have ninety five five star reviews on
(11:16):
our book. I'm like, yes, we do, And so we
always ask people to buy a copy and donate that
book to schools or an allergist office because it helps
save lives. We lose people to food allergies on a
pretty consistent basis, to the point where there is an
allergy death registry now and I'm like, oh, I do
(11:37):
not want to join that list ever, So be careful
out there on this holiday. It is a moment with
food allergies, and I know we have a lot of
food people with food allergies listening. You know, people always
want to cook for us to please us. Make sure
you don't just say yes, I'll eat that to please
someone else. You need to know the ingredients. You need
(11:58):
to know. You know, people will say, well, I don't
think it has or i'm pretty sure it doesn't have
nuts in it or whatever, and that is code for
don't eat that because pretty sure and should not you
you probably won't. And things like that are words that
your ears should perk up and keep your heart full
and say thank you and so forth, and go about
your merry way, eating what you know you can eat
(12:20):
so that you don't wind up in the er. And
please make sure any food allergies.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Holidays that you have your.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Epinephrine with you, multiple doses if you need soap and
benadryl as well, and make sure that anybody knows around
you that if you do have an allergic reaction, to
call nine to one one immediately, because every nanosecond matters.
So it's my food allergy sho feel Katie that I.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Do every year.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh sure, food the audience well.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And also I'm gluten free and I get super sick,
and so I this year I cooked and I made
everything gluten free, and I was tasting my stuffing last night,
I went, oh, this tastes different, and I was like, oh, yeah,
it's gluten free, but it's still good. And what makes
it special is I'm eating the same thing they are
(13:08):
and they're okay with that. And isn't so give yourself
permission to cook your own food. It's great.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah. Yeah. When we have food centric holidays, I always
go into this wasn't really about the food, folks, It's
about the people around you and your fateful and things
like that. So yeah, I just soon do just about
anything that isn't food related. But it's a big holiday
for people, and we cook up a storm, but it's
very nut free in this house. And I see some
(13:35):
amazing pecan pies out there. Before I was allergic, that
was my favorite thing to eat. And I do know
that doctor Katie Eastman makes a mean pecan pie and
I my husband loves that pecan pie. So it's awesome anyway.
All right, I'm bringing on both Rebecca Silence and Kelly
(13:56):
Lerman Brown, who are also wonderful friends of ours and
also best selling authors. I know them from their books
from being authors with them at HCI, and I'm going
to start with Rebecca. Rebecca Silence, how are you.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Very thankful to be a part of this beautiful community
and to also be alive against all adds. I was
still moved, you know, as we opened off the show
just with an honoring and gratitude of life.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you've had a year.
Speaker 7 (14:38):
I've had a year.
Speaker 6 (14:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
I'm a cancer survivor. I beat cancer with a five
percent chance and was diagnosed when I was pregnant, and
this year I had to have two more cancer related surgeries.
But you know, the most important thing that happened for
me this year is the birthing. And You've and a
(15:00):
huge support and part of this of what I'm calling
the Unsilent Woman movement. I'm ready to take my message.
My book is coming Back to Life, a roadmap to
heal from pain, to create the life you want to
a whole next level. I've always been the author. It's
a stand for trauma does not have to mean less
(15:20):
of a life. But now I want to help women
break the silence like never before in their lives and
in their families and allow them to experience the gift
and freedom of full self expression. And I think too
often we believe we need a breakdown to break through,
or we wait for a crisis or a really hard
life event to force our hand. But what if we
(15:42):
just decided to come back to life and to fully
live because we breathe and because we've been through enough
and it's time to live.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Right Katie, No amen to that?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, yeah, I'm all for living them all.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Let's just side you know, Rebecca. One of the things,
so I've watched your cancer journey for a number of
years now, and I remember just texting you going, oh
my god, you're going in for more surgery, you know,
just like, oh, please be okay, you know, kind of
just you know, you know, all the feelings I had,
(16:24):
and watching it, I've cheered up a number of times.
I've shared your story on and on because we had
a family member pass of melanoma this year on January tenth,
and you know, just it's just the just the pain
of it. And you know, I never saw you without
a smile on your face. And I know posting, I know,
posting in Facebook can be selective. I get it. I'm
(16:45):
sure everything wasn't all smiles and giggles, but man, oh man,
did you positive power push through that?
Speaker 7 (16:57):
I appreciate that reflections so much. And you know, well,
my mission is for joy and excitement to be the
rule I live by. I had my twenty first and
twenty second surgery related to cancer alone this summer, and
I just I'm stubborn, Elizabeth, and everybody know, I'm not
gonna let anything mean less of a life for me,
(17:18):
and I'm not gonna let anything or anyone give me
permission to be less me. So I am genuinely grateful
and wanting to be as alive as possible. And you know,
for me, I look at it through the lens of
I'm here to have the full human experience. You know,
it's not all gonna be laughter and orgasms and smiles,
(17:42):
but I can have the rule of my life be
an experience where I'm delighted and surprised and enjoying. And
that's really really important to me. And I looked at
cancer and I look at life as an opportunity to
be the best of me moments where it's the hardest.
I think it's the most applicable and the most essential
(18:05):
to have that intention of I always have control over
being the best me I can be and making the
best of this moment. And I don't think of that
as positivity. I think of it as a genuine possibility. So, yeah,
you were very there for me checking in and I
felt still held by you this summer, and it was
really hard. But I think when we let ourselves those
(18:27):
hard moments, in all of our humanity and as the
best of ourselves, you know, we get to access even
more of who we really are, And to me, that's
such a precious, precious gift. And then to be surrounded
with women like I am on this call and with
this community.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
What a gift.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
And I don't think it's a coincidence. When we're about service,
we attract people about service, and when we're really about service,
it starts with how are we serving ourselves? And this
is a community where we're serving ourselves so we can
be our best pace for the world. And that's the
only type of people I want to be around at
this point in my life.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah, Rebecca, this is Katie. I have a quote I
want to give you because this is so you.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
From my book.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
There's a story of a seventeen year old who was
diagnosed with cancer, terminal cancer, and he said to the world,
he said, you know what, if I got this thing,
I'm going to make it count. I'm going to make
a difference. And when someone asked him, wow, you're so
said to him, you're so courageous, and he said, no,
it's not courage, it's haf to. That's you. That reminded
(19:34):
me of you. Well, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:36):
I do see it that way, like I've burned the
option of I get to give myself permission to be
less me and I think we all have that power
And the thing I like to say is nothing outside
of you is more powerful than you period your ability
to create the experience you want to create, It's in you.
So you got me all fired up this morning. Elizabeth,
(19:58):
I'm so crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Helps a part of this.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Katy Thanksgiving? Yeah, no, happy Thanksgiving to you too. I'm
going to bring in Kelly now, Kelly, how are you hi?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Kelly, I'm doing great.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
How are you all?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
It is such an inspiring conversation, Like I think that
all of our stories apply to everyone around the world,
that is, that is, are experiencing loss or you know,
challenges in their health journey or you know, this is
just like an opportunity to illuminate.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
That we have to trust in grace, right, we have.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
To be aware of this present moment. And I'm just
writing an article for a magazine that's coming out in January.
And actually I did an article through Elizabeth last year
and we talked about time and new beginnings and clean
sleeps and you know, coming off what you're all saying,
we have to resonate in like a higher vibration of
(21:00):
love and being positive, right, and being grateful that we
have our our lives and this present moment.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
So you know, every time I get a chance to
talk to you, I I, well, I'm just gonna tell
the story, you know. So I've kind of like had
Kelly stalked before I even knew Kelly, because I am
one of the biggest fans of one of my goodness,
you know this already goods. Yeah, your thank You book.
I'm I'm like, I knew that book before I met you,
(21:31):
and I it's one of my favorite favorite favorite books.
So like when I heard you were going to be
an HgI author and out came the Mindful Forgiveness book
and I got to interview you, I nearly fell out
of my rocker. I'm like interviewing idle moment. Oh my god.
I got to interview Kristin Christine Carlson, who's that Don't
Sweat the Small Stuff brand and author, and it was
(21:55):
kind of that moment with you too. I'm like, oh, man,
she wrote that really popular thank You book book and so,
oh my god, yeah, no, you're we author stock you,
So we need to author stock you just a little
bit more. Sorry, thank you and have you tell everybody
the names of your books again. And I want the
exact things like the full title. That's why I was
(22:17):
writing down earlier, and yeah, go ahead, Okay.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
So the my newest book.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Which is with HDI and it's available on with all
of everyone's books on this call on Amazon and Barnes
and Noble and the Simon and Schuster platform and store
at any bookseller near you, is one hundred and one
ways to create mindful forgiveness. I have a two thank
you note books, one for kids and teens, calls one
(22:44):
hundred and one ways to say thank You for kids
and teens and one hundred and one ways to say
thank you for every occasion, which covers weddings, babies, business, Christmas, everything,
and it's you know, a universal book that everyone should
have have, you know, to help them keep that that
magic of gratitude in their lives.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
So I'm happy to do a giveaway.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
To anybody listening, reach out to me and happy to
do that.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
That's really a good idea. Actually, we could probably do
one giveaway with all of our books and give somebody absolutely.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Are you happy to do that?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Okay, Kelly, do me a favor and tell the story.
Do you mind telling stories today? Do you mind telling
stories about your parents and things like that or is
that sure?
Speaker 6 (23:36):
Of course absolutely.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I think that when we share like what's gone on
in our lives, like it applies to everybody and how
we met challenges.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Okay, So.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I live in Los Angeles and I live in an
area called the San Fernando Valley, and about eight years ago,
my parents were victims of the Alicio Canyon gas disaster,
which you know how we all heat up our ovens
and we have natural gas, and there was an explosion
in twenty fifteen that was right above my parents' home.
(24:16):
The dogs were dying, my mom got very sick, My
dad got sick, but my mom got sick the worst,
and she ended up dying from her injuries. And it
was the worst gas disaster in the history of the
United States. And it was a horrible situation for anyone
(24:40):
to go through because you're dealing with not only you know,
cancer and saving someone's life and not understanding, but you're
fighting this invisible monster and it was you know, I
think when you're faced with extreme trauma and adverse adversity,
(25:02):
and as everyone listening can understand, when your life is
on the line all of a sudden, all the things
that are precious to you change, because now you're thinking
about time, You're thinking about how precious it is.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
You're thinking about like the people that you love.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Because now you may be leaving the third right and
you don't care about the house and the Hamptons or
the car you drive or that designer handbag. You now
suddenly are coveting those treasured and precious moments with their children,
with your parents, you know, and the things you wish
you had done, the things that you wish you didn't
(25:49):
worry about.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
It's like all those fears we have.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
That we spend time worrying about.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
That make us crazy.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
The gossiping lady.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
You know at church or at school, or the mean
mom or whatever it is. None of it matters. None
of it matters. What matters is this moment today. One
of the things that I would reflect on when I
was going through this terrible journey and I had other
(26:22):
catastrophic things happened simultaneously with both my children, and I
had to rely on grace. I had to rely on
believing in the divine forces of the universe and trusting
in God and that somebody was helping me because I
actually because I did that, you know, I believe in
(26:45):
the power of prayer, and I would pray and say,
oh my God, please help me get through this, and
I would have signs and symbols along the way that
would help me and my parents' case.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Because of the evidence.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
That I was able to step forward with, became the
number one case out of forty thousand plaintiffs. And it
really doesn't matter at the end of the day, because
you know, I wasn't able to ultimately save my mom's
life and keep her here with me, but that information
that I gathered by being intuitive helped.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
It's for the greater good of forty thousand other people,
because I thought so.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I think that is the most important message that I
think everyone should listen to, is that I don't care
what's going on in your life right now, stop complaining
and start thinking about time.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
It is your most valuable currency and.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Trust in the grace of yourself and you know the
people that love you.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
So I need to have my own podcast. Ladies, you do.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Want to start with the start up for you?
Speaker 4 (27:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, we always we always say I'm best for you,
and all us say this, you know, we're not entitled
to time. And so I realized that you know, it
makes you really realize how valuable each and every like
even you know, nanosecond or whatever scientific term you want
to apply to that matters and so forth. And thank
you for sharing that that story, and and just a
(28:22):
little bit more about your life with people? Did you
I can't remember the timeline, but you know, for every
what made you become of an author about saying thank
you and you know, mindful forgiveness. What were some of
those moments where you went where you went? You know,
I'm going to do this.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
You know, my mother always raised my my, my brother
and sister and I to give back. My mom had
been through a lot in her own life, and she
realized that giving to others gave her the greatest joy.
So she would always do things with the veterans and
the runaway children or the abused children. And I was
(29:06):
in a program called National Charity League, a mother daughter program,
and we had to do a lot of volunteer work
and it changed my life, changed my life and in
ways that were so extraordinary. And so when I got married,
I wrote a lot of thank you notes. And we
didn't have a lot of money, and I had this
beautiful stationery and I started writing the thank you notes
(29:29):
on the computer, and you know, I spent a lot
of time writing crafting each one because I wanted that
person to know that the money they spent on me
how much I appreciated it.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
And people started.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Calling my husband and saying, oh my gosh, this.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
Is so amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
And you know, that's what I call the magic of gratitude.
When you send that thank you notes, you and you
tell someone, especially written down, that you took the time
to put pen to paper, and those thank you notes
become treasured, right because we're in such this digital age
(30:11):
of instantaneous communication.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
It's like, oh, yeah, thanks, But when you take.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
The time to write a handwritten thank you note on
beautiful stationery, you know, that is exciting when someone opens
their mail because it's unexpected and it becomes like.
Speaker 6 (30:26):
A treasure keepsake.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
The same thing for children. The Forgiveness book, it was
a It started as an accident between the publisher and
my agent, and I thought to myself, well, how am
I ever going to write a book about saying you're
sorry or for you know, And after I went through
this catastrophic situation, you know, I was on the It
(30:51):
was hard. I was crying every day I because it
wasn't just one moment. It was my parents made evacuated,
the total loss of their home, their dogs dying, and
trying to fight the government and SoCal Gas and the
Health Department. And I thought to myself, I have to
(31:15):
pull myself together, and I have for my children, and
I have to go on. And so the book is
how the things I learned we went to trauma training
at UCLA, and how I was able to move on again.
And it's such an easy, heart healing guide to forgiveness
(31:37):
and mindful tools for peace that resonate with everyone and
children and people covering from addiction, and you know people
that like you haven't spoken to in years like this
holiday season it's a perfect time to send a Christmas
card or our holiday card and say I missed you.
(31:57):
You know, let's get together right reconnection, because we're talking
about time right and right.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Doctor Kelly. I was when I was dying, when I
couldn't breathe and my breathing was changing, and I knew
I was dying. I remember so clearly. My thinking was
focused on do the people I know know I love them?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yes, that was so powerful because you know you never
know what you're going to think about when you're dying,
and and I that was what it was. It was like,
oh my god, do my just does my family know
how much I love them? Does my do my friends do?
And so what I did afterwards is I called everybody
(32:44):
and I just said I love you, I really love you.
And I was lying there thinking of you, and I
want you to know that. And my poor brother I
called him. It was in the airport getting ready to
get on a plane, and I said, I just called
to tell you I love you. When you start crying, right,
but you know we'll never forget that call exactly. We
(33:05):
don't often do those things because we're afraid to do it,
we're uncomfortable, blah blah blah. But let me tell you,
when you're on death's door, that's what matters. And I
love yours, Kelly, because it's true.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Thank you, isn't This is Rebecca.
Speaker 7 (33:20):
I couldn't agree more. And I just want to say,
for anyone thinking about but how will they respond to
me or how will they react? The heartfelt communication is
so you left no stone unturned and so you know
you spoke up and showed up as the you you
really are. It's not about how they respond. It's about
(33:43):
you giving your heart, and it's about Lily knowing you
had the courage to do that. I just wanted to
put that out because people are funny, especially this time
of year. And however they receive you, you gave to them.
That's what matters.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Mm hmm, doctor Katie. Yes, If if somebody is out
there and they're living their life infuriated, what would you
like to say to them?
Speaker 3 (34:12):
You know, anger is fine, Anger is healthy. It's what
you do with it that you either choose. There's a
great saying that if you if you try to do
something vindictive to someone else, it's like drinking your own poison.
And so that doesn't work. It hurts you more than
(34:32):
it hurts them. What helps you with the anger is
healthy discharge. Find healthy ways to discharge your anger. Journal scream.
I am a big proponent of go to the beats,
throw rocks in the water. One of my clients who
lost took up a child, took glass jars, set himself
(34:54):
up on his garage door, put a put a plastic
tarp down on the ground, and just threw glass jars
at the door, and that was so therapeutic for him.
He just swore and screamed and yelled and anything you
need to do to let that anger energy out of
your body, but don't direct it at someone else who
(35:15):
doesn't deserve it. And get the rage out before you
try to talk with someone else, because there's a lot
of reasons for anyone to be angry. Anger is a
healthy emotion. There's no such thing as a negative emotion.
I'm gonna say that twice. No such thing as a
negative emotion. We need them all. It's how much discomfort
(35:39):
we have with certain emotions. So embrace your anger in
a healthy way, and then you'll be able to get
along better with people and do what we've talked about,
which is forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I love it. So for somebody listening who doesn't have
a gratitude practice, we would all like to give you
some tips on how to start that gratitude practice. I know,
I know, I began kind of angry and with food
allergies and my dad being sick and things like that,
and I started to shift that energy into Okay, I'm
(36:14):
going to make a list of the things I'm grateful
for it. And at first it was like grateful for
my husband, I'm grateful for my house, I'm grateful you know,
you know things kind of thing, and it shifted into
wait a minute, I'm grateful for breath, and I would
wake up and once I started shifting into like, wait
a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,
(36:35):
I'm grateful for just being here and breathing. I'm going
to wake up with that every day and get that perspective.
My internet just went down.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
Oh we're back, I hear.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Oh oh sorry, Kelly, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes, or yeah, go ahead, or Rebecca, whoever wants to
go first. It's fine. Sorry Kelly, No, it's okay.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
I I dis missed whatever you on said. But you know,
even as Rebecca was just saying too talking about as
her breath was going, you know, the very first thing
that happens in our life is we take the breath
of life. And it is the very last thing that
we leave as we leave this earthly journey, right, and
(37:24):
when we experience fear or trauma, you know.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
Or joy, we catch our breath.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
And it is so important during these times of trauma
or adversity or struggle or fear that we take those
moments as doctor Eastman was just saying, and we are conscious.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Of our breath. You know, if everybody could just take.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
A moment and put their hand across their chest and
take some deep breaths and ground yourself and make it
a daily practice to you know, walk for twenty minutes
by yourself and say, what's going on with me? How
do I feel? Do I feel anger? And why? You know,
(38:11):
write it down.
Speaker 6 (38:12):
Write down the things you're worried.
Speaker 8 (38:14):
About, because I think kind of like when you it
goes hand in hand with that blessing list, right, the
things that you're grateful for, because it will change the
energy around you.
Speaker 6 (38:27):
You know, today as we're.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Around our thanksgiving tables, you.
Speaker 6 (38:30):
Know, I have everybody say, gosh, you know.
Speaker 7 (38:33):
What are you thankful for? What are you grateful for?
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Because we don't think about it.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
We don't walk.
Speaker 9 (38:38):
Around saying, oh, I'm grateful for the sun, I'm grateful
for the air I greef. You know, it's it's almost like, oh,
that's ridiculous, and until you're faced with leaving it behind,
so you know, I think it's again.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Gratitude is contagious. You know, when when people laugh, there's
something special about it, and we need to change that
energy to joy, and we need to resonate in that
positive vibration because it feels it's just, you know, you
feel like a completely different person. I mean, there's lots,
(39:14):
there's lots I can say, but you know, if you're upset,
put on a funny movie, put on the movie else,
you know, put on Saturday Night Live like, put on
a happy song and change that energy from sadness to joy.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
I'm in here, Yeah, Rebecca, go for it, Becca, because
I think the bridge that closes the gap is forgiveness
right from right that to joy right And this is
the chapter I get the almost feedback about in my
book Coming Back to Life, a Roadmap to help from
ping to create the life you want. Because my spin
(39:51):
on forgiveness is very simple. It doesn't make it easy,
but it's about loving as much as you did before
you got hurt. And I don't think there is gratitude
without forgiveness. And we're not here to be conditional love.
In my opinion, We're here because we are love. And
I think more than ever, we need leaders consistently embodying
(40:14):
love and radiating love from a genuine place and people
are innocent. People are doing the best they can and
we're all human, so hurt is inevitable. But harboring the hurt, right,
that is a choice. And when I protect and guard
my heart, I block out love and people don't get
(40:35):
to feel the real meat. So I think it's always
the correct choice and the bravest choice to practice forgiveness.
What is in the way of me loving as much
as I can, as much as I want to is
a great journal exercise, and forgive yourself for any judgment
against yourself. Right, But let's really look at forgiveness, because
(40:55):
you can have healthy boundaries and you can love certain
people from a distance done the forgiveness work. In my
right cases, the forgiveness work is enough to repair and
reinvent the relationship and then you know again people are
people that you can forgive and you can be the
love you are, and that is medicine the world needs
more than ever before.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
So maybe instead of a gratitude list this year, on
this day of gratefulness and gratitude, what we should start
doing is maybe a forgiveness list instead.
Speaker 7 (41:28):
Yeah, well more as part one, right, because like, the
gratitude is next freaking level, right, I'm the emotional healing coach,
and that's always crying, but it's almost always tears of joy. Right,
Like this morning, I'm in Older Colorado and it is
snowing and it is gorgeous, and I'm just like, are
you streaking kidding me? I get to start my day
(41:48):
on this call with these authors that make a difference
in the world, Like, I am sprying genuine tears of gratitude,
but I'm not afraid to do the forgiveness work, which
allows me to have done more gratitude. So I just
would say, can we do both? Please? Like what are
we forgiving? And then what is our next level of
gratitude from that place?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
All right? Doctor k.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Yeah, I think this is awesome And God, I just
love talking to all of you. One thing that really
strikes me. I've had a lot of conversations with a
lot of people in the last few weeks who are
struggling to forgive themselves because they're feeling so much anger
and sadness and grief and pain and anger toward others.
(42:38):
And they're really really struggling with that. And what I
want to encourage everyone to remember is give yourself grace,
give yourself grace first, because you can't forgive someone else
until you can forgive yourself. So give yourself grace for
the fact that you feel in all these feels and
(42:59):
deal with them and feel them and be real with them.
And once you've done your forgiveness, that's important. But there
are some people that can't be with other people who
won't allow that. So I think I also want to
give people a message of if you can't do it,
if you're not there, it's okay be where you are,
(43:21):
because it's a process. I mean, I think, Kelly, when
you talked about your parents and that hole, oh my god,
that is such a great example of trauma and how
trauma takes time, and trauma takes its toll, and trauma
and grief and trauma and loss and all of those
things are like a roller coaster, and so it's really
(43:44):
important that people give themselves grace that they don't need
to do it all at once. They can't and what you
can't do is so important to recognize so that you
can move forward in your own organic pace.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Yes, I just want to jump in and add to
that in self forgiveness, and that is life is a
journey and we are here to learn, and you know,
we have all gone through these incredible life lessons and
you know, whether you have become you know, like made terrible.
Speaker 6 (44:23):
Mistakes or hated on your spouse.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Or an addict or you know, you, you know, whatever
it is, Okay, you learned your lessons. You have to
trust in grace and you need to move on in
your life. And the people that want to hold on
to grudge and not forgive you, okay, Well, then as
you were just saying, you know, like if they don't
(44:48):
want to repair, I think Rebecca was just saying, if
they don't want to repair and renew the relationship, then
you have to say, okay, you can't beg someone once
you've said i'm sorry with with sincerity, that spirit of sincerity,
and you mean it and you're moving forward to have
a better life. If those people don't want to hold
(45:09):
your hand on the journey, that.
Speaker 6 (45:11):
Is okay, life is long. Maybe they'll come back and
maybe they won't. But you don't want to stay chained to.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
Somebody who is belittling you in a relationship or in
a friendship or in a work situation because those people
are keeping you down. Walk away from them because you
need to live your best life on the Best Ever You.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
So I've loved having you guys here today. We're going
to go. We're going to go on. We're going to
go pretty soon here and and move on with our
beautiful Thanksgiving days and our families and all that stuff
we just take up. We just take a moment out
of everybody's.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
Time today to do this show.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
And I'm really grateful that you're all here. Katie I
want to and all you guys, I want to. And
on the note of peace, one of the things that
Katie and I worked really really hard at doing is
helping people find peace. We have Best Ever You dot
Com forward slash Percolatepiece, and we'd like to invite you
(46:17):
all to go to that website and share There's a
place where you can actually type stuff in on that site,
on that page and you can go in and share
a little note of gratitude or peace with us, and
we would love for you to do that today. So
it's Best Ever You dot Com Forward slash Percolatepiece, and
that kind of goes hand in hand with our book
Percolate Let your Best Self Filter Through, which is that
(46:40):
Hayhouse book that was published ten years ago. Now, Katie,
I thinks ten years old, that's crazy and yeah wow.
And then I didn't mention my books. I have the
Changed Guidebook and the Success Guidebook also, which have bits
and pieces of forgiveness and joy and change and love
and all those things in there too, So just mentioning that.
(47:01):
But what do you guys think bring just real quick,
like a sentence or two, Kelly, what brings you the
most peace and joy in your life? Oh?
Speaker 4 (47:13):
I would definitely say spending time with my family. I mean,
I think that everyone feels that way. And I also
think like stepping out under the stars and connecting to
a bigger universe and realizing that, like this journey on
this earth is what's the most important. You know, there's
(47:33):
a whole universe out there and the things that we
obsess on and are fearful of don't matter. Look to
the stars.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
How about you, Rebecca?
Speaker 7 (47:47):
You know, for me, it's really about how grateful I
am for the freedom of full self expression. I look
at healing as freedom and I think it's a revolution
to give up self betrayal in the name of love.
And I think that is the path to tease being
(48:09):
someone who's unwilling to betray yourself in the name of
love and instead loving yourself enough to make sure your
life honors and respects and takes care of you. And
for me, it makes me more attractive. For my clients,
it makes them more attractive. So knowing there's nothing to
lose or nothing to fear by being fully expressed in
the truth of who you are and being unwilling to
(48:31):
betray yourself in the name of love. Ever again, I
think of the path to piece that you know, we
don't talk about enough, and it's my favorite one.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
You know, I still think you need like a congregation
before you probably you were something to Mecca Woman's movement.
Speaker 7 (48:48):
Everyone wanting to help me get it out there. Go
to Instagram at the US Woman. Oh, it's on Elizabeth's
in the embryonic stages. But watch out because I'm comment.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Such an eloquent speaker you are, Katie, how about you
let's talk about peace and hang on one secon We're
gonna end the show with me and Katie, So Rebecca
and Kelly stay with us though, because we're going to
close and just say good guy. But we're just gonna
talk a little bit about peace here because peace can
piece is such a big topic. Go ahead, Katie.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Peace comes from knowing ourselves and giving back. And I
get the most peace when I observe love being exchanged,
little tiny acts of magical love. It can be to
an animal, it can be loving a tree, it can
(49:42):
be loving a nature. But I really believe the magic
of living is love and exchanging love, and that is
what gives us peace. But I think our whole message
today is that you can't get to peace if you
don't know yourself. Time with yourself and being peaceful with
(50:03):
yourself and learning life's lessons gets you to peace. And
and peace can be in a moment. Peace can be.
I mean, it's it's striving for peace by knowing yourself.
Speaker 5 (50:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, sometimes it can be even just carving out those
moments of quiet with your cat or your dog, or
your your kids or whatever. It's it's almost like pieces
everything that that isn't hate, you know, hate or all
there's it's knowing what gives you peace.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Yeah, it's knowing what gives you peace and and knowing
what doesn't and changing your life so that you have
more peace. And that's what are what we're trying to
do by getting a million people to come to commit
to peace, to learning more about yourself, to giving back
to being a peaceful person in this world.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
One more. Yeah, a million people will go. We're looking
for a million people to join us on best everu
dot com forward slash percolate piece. So type in those
messages of peace and join us because we're we're on
a peace movement for sure. And Katie, before we go,
could you talk a little bit about December seventh and Ukraine. Oh?
Speaker 3 (51:22):
Absolutely, I have been blessed beyond words to be working
with a group of four women who, in the midst
of the onslaught of the beginning of the Ukrainian War,
created a mental health program from bomb shelters no less
for providing mental health support to Ukrainians. And they themselves
(51:46):
are psychologists and now several of them are out of
the country, some of them are still in the country.
But December seventh, they're going to tell their story. They're
going to get online and they're going to thank all
the people that have helped them so that they could
help and they've helped over six hundred Ukrainians. And the
whole program is based on promoting peace by helping them
(52:11):
deal with trauma and not turn the trauma into hate,
but instead turn it into hope. And it's a beautiful program.
I'm so proud of them and they're amazing women. They're inspiring.
And December seventh they're doing something called Yellow Blue. So
if you go to the website, you will see on
(52:31):
Besseriu you'll see a link to best to Yellow Blue
on December seventh. And I encourage all of you to
put to to come and see them and listen to them,
because oh my god, they every day they wake up
to look and see who's died their life. So talk
about reminding us of being grateful. They're grateful that people
(52:56):
are still alive. So really, they have a message of
hope that is powerful beyond words. Amazing. Are you back,
(53:23):
I'm here?
Speaker 7 (53:26):
Are you still here too? Okay?
Speaker 3 (53:32):
I think we lost Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (53:36):
You know what, you know, what's happening is what we're
talking about is blowing up the universe.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
Because that's what's happening.
Speaker 7 (53:44):
We bring our matrix.
Speaker 6 (53:46):
The magic of gratitude and forgiveness is just what you know,
it's just making it's.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
A vibration, kicking the internet and.
Speaker 6 (53:56):
That's what we're talking about.
Speaker 4 (53:58):
You know, it resonates on a high level.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
So this is what we want.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
We want to add some sparkle and sequence and sunshine
and starlight right to all of our lives.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Right. So, and you you guys are wonderful. I mean,
I just ah, your voices are so powerful and awesome, amazing.
This has been an incredible thing. Yeah. I don't know
if we're still on the air or not.
Speaker 7 (54:25):
I'm so grateful to meet you all. I hope we
stay connected. I'm Rebecca Si.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Yes, this has been really special and the we need
more women's voices.
Welcome to the Best Ever You Show with Elizabeth Hamilton
Garino here to help you find success in all areas
of your life. The power is in your hands. Join
our network for free at bestveru dot com and now
here's Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hey, everybody, Happy Thanksgiving. Welcome to our annual Thanksgiving Day
Gratitude Show. We're so grateful that you are with us.
This show started I don't know, probably fourteen years ago.
The Gratitude Shows started probably about ten years ago now
maybe a little bit longer than that, where my son
(00:37):
and I were testing our equipment a new microphone that
my brother sent in, and people started to call into
the show live on Thanksgiving Day morning and it was
just the most precious thing ever. And so we've decided
to just make this a thing every Thanksgiving sense. So
if you want, if you're listening and you want to
call in, you can give us a call at six
(00:59):
four six an eight seven eight five three seven press
one to join us and maybe we will bring you
on live as well. But for now I'm gonna bring
I'm going to just share with you. Our guests today
are doctor Katie Eastman, who is the author of Uplifting
and co author with Me of Percolate. And then we
(01:20):
have Rebecca Silence who is another best selling author. She's
the author of Coming Back to Life. And then we
have Kelly Leerman Brown who is the author of two
best selling books, one hundred and one Ways to Create
Mindful Forgiveness and one hundred and one Ways to Say
Thank You with both books. That all the books I
just absolutely love and so thank you all for being
(01:40):
here with us and doctor Katie. Good morning, good.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Morning, it is the sun is just coming up on
the Pacific coast.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, we're on opposite coast everybody, So we thank our
guests too for getting up at the krack of dawn
and joining us. I saw your piece with your Kitti
kat on your lap and your beautiful painted toes.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I love it. Yes, my favorite time in the morning
is when no one's up and I just sit with
the cat and have my coffee and get ready for
the day and look out at the at the water
and the mountains and it's really it's really.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Peaceful, it's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yah.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I love it all right. So you know you and
I started this podcast just about one hundred thousand years ago,
now I know we.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Started this together a long time ago, and here we are,
you know, fourteen years later, with millions of downloads and
so forth, and still no advertising, and it's all good.
Can you just give everybody a little brief intro of
who you are and what you do. It's so special
in a day like today, especially.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh sure.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
My whole thing is transforming loss into growth. And I
am I call the kind of nickname myself the loss Lady,
doctor Elizabeth Ross, with my mentor, and she's the one
that developed the five stages of grief model that all
of you have heard of. And so my whole passion
(03:09):
is to help people understand that they can learn from loss,
grow from loss, and to accept loss as a part
of our life. And on a on a weekend like this,
that's really important because a lot of people are grieving
right now. They're not just happy, and so my whole
(03:29):
approach is to help them understand that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah. And I always look through my Facebook feed on
Thanksgiving because a lot of people will write, you know,
I'm alone or I'm sad today or something like that.
So I see a lot of people listening, and we're
here for you today. On a day like that I
saw one of my Facebook friends set his Thanksgiving Day
table because he separated from family this year with a
(03:55):
bunch of stuffed animals. And it was the cutest, happiest Oh.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It was so.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, just so cute. So so, Katie, tell us a
little bit about what's happened with you this year and
why you are especially grateful.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Oh my god, I'm February fourteenth. I had pulmonary pulmonary embolism.
I had blood cloths in my lungs, and I have
had five different physicians tell me that I shouldn't have lived,
and I did because I got emergency surgery down in
Seattle and they pulled the clots out of my lungs.
(04:37):
But still it was quite a miracle. So it is
a miracle that I'm even sitting here. So this whole
year for me has been about healing and recovery, but
so much gratitude, and I just I really get don't smell,
don't sweat the small stuff on a very deep level.
So I wake up every morning now saying I'm here
(05:00):
or how could I make a difference? That's been my
passion since I lived. Is Okay, I'm here for a reason.
What is it. I'm gonna make sure I use it.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah. Yeah, we always tell the story every year. Also
that ties into that theme from perkol Ay. But I'm
gonna go back for a second and just say, you know,
I'm I'm so grateful that you're here. I think my
lucky stars every.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Day for you.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I have. I have two little angels that sit on
my night stand upstairs. One is holding a heart and
one is holding a star, and I always think, you know,
think with your heart and count your lucky stars. They're
my gratitude and they are little peaceful angels that I
got a few years ago, and they just sum it
all up. And so anyway, I'm grateful for you, and
(05:54):
I love, love, love your book Uplifting. I was hoping
you would tell people a little bit about to okay
it is.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I have been a psychotherapist for over thirty five plus years,
and I've met the most inspiring people who've gone through
the worst hell imaginable and they have risen from those
experiences to give back from their pain. And so I
have written their stories. And some of them are our
(06:26):
little kids, some of them are teenagers, some of them
are eighty year old people they've gone, the issues they've
dealt with go from anything from death to suicide, to
mental illness to all of the things that impact all
of us. So when you read my book, what you
learn is Wow, to quote my brother, you think my
(06:48):
life sucks. I mean, it's just really, this is really
important that we value each moment because so many of
us suffer unimaginable pain and we need that we need
each other to help us through those things. And those
stories are all about community and compassion and resilience.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, I love it. And it's a Balboa Press book,
And you know, you and I have a lot of
experience with hay House and Balboa Press because we wrote
the best selling book Percolate, Let Your Best Self Filter Through,
which has some stories like that in there, particularly about
my own food allergies and my father, who was a
stroke survivor from two thousand and four to twenty eighteen.
(07:32):
And I always tell the story every year on this
show about you know, my dad survived things that he
wasn't supposed to survive and somehow did and they had
him in a finally in a rehab facility and it
took probably, you know, maybe an hour or so to
get him ready for a speech therapy session that they
(07:52):
you know, customer, you know, they do regular that's you know,
like a regular part of the rehab. And he went
down into the nurse this area with me and my mom,
and the nurse said to us, you know, this is
a moment where most people in your father's condition don't
say anything, but we're going to do this anyway, and
we're going to play the alphabet game with your dad.
And when I say, he said, she said, when I
(08:14):
say we're a letter, Jim, you say what word comes
to mind? And she said the letter A first, and
he said Ardvark and we were all like, oh god,
I don't know where this is going, drugs, on board, whatever.
And then he said benevolence, courage, determination, excellence. F was
a swear word that I've changed to faith, goodness, happiness, integrity, joy, love,
(08:36):
on and on and on. M was movies and P
was platypus. So in our book, we have you know,
find your inner Ardvark and Platypus in there, and that's
what that chapter is all about. And it was kind
of in that moment where I was having my own
you know, crisis if you will, with food allergies. I
had been resuscitated and just was really struckruggling with you know,
(09:01):
oh woe is me victim? And he rattled off this
list of words in this condition and I'm like, oh,
I'm an idiot, hang on, you know kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And I was like, oh, wait a minute, I get this.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
We're going to persevere a little bit and tough enough
and get some resilience and have some faith and hope
and all these words he was rattling off. And it's
kind of the moment where Percolate was born. I wrote,
I drew this really terrible teapot and wrote Percolate ABC's
of Life, and then met Katie and she helped develop
that book into the beautiful coffee metaphor that it is.
(09:36):
It's just one big coffee metaphor with Katie's genius behind it.
And so I always thankful for you, Katie, in so
many different ways, and just your friendship and your strength,
your resilience, your courage, your wisdom, just everything about you
is just something that I'm so grateful for. So I'm
(09:58):
so glad you're with me today, us today, and you
get to share the joy and share the love. So
thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well my pleasure, and of course I share the gratitude
as well. Elizabeth. I mean, you and I are so
we have so much fun together, and we really crafted
Percolate in your pool, which was a total blast, and
we just banter back and forth beautifully, and we think
the same way. And I think the fact that we've
(10:26):
both almost died has really kind of connected us to
the rest of the world in a special way. So
thank you. I am most grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Thank you, and to everybody with food allergies who's listening,
and we're going to bring on our other guests here
in a minute. I just want to say this is
a tough holiday for us. You know. Food allergies are
every day, every moment and everything, and so when we
have these holidays that are centered around food, we really
have to be careful. And so I'm always grateful for
Sally hust She's not with me on the call today,
(10:55):
not with us on the call today, but she and
I wrote a best one book called A Lesson for
Every Child Learning about Food Allergies, and last night as
we were texting Happy Thanksgiving to each other, you know,
keep in mind she's eighty six and texting, which is amazing,
and writing books and beautiful artwork and so forth. But
she's like, we have ninety five five star reviews on
(11:16):
our book. I'm like, yes, we do, And so we
always ask people to buy a copy and donate that
book to schools or an allergist office because it helps
save lives. We lose people to food allergies on a
pretty consistent basis, to the point where there is an
allergy death registry now and I'm like, oh, I do
(11:37):
not want to join that list ever, So be careful
out there on this holiday. It is a moment with
food allergies, and I know we have a lot of
food people with food allergies listening. You know, people always
want to cook for us to please us. Make sure
you don't just say yes, I'll eat that to please
someone else. You need to know the ingredients. You need
(11:58):
to know. You know, people will say, well, I don't
think it has or i'm pretty sure it doesn't have
nuts in it or whatever, and that is code for
don't eat that because pretty sure and should not you
you probably won't. And things like that are words that
your ears should perk up and keep your heart full
and say thank you and so forth, and go about
your merry way, eating what you know you can eat
(12:20):
so that you don't wind up in the er. And
please make sure any food allergies.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Holidays that you have your.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Epinephrine with you, multiple doses if you need soap and
benadryl as well, and make sure that anybody knows around
you that if you do have an allergic reaction, to
call nine to one one immediately, because every nanosecond matters.
So it's my food allergy sho feel Katie that I.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Do every year.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh sure, food the audience well.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And also I'm gluten free and I get super sick,
and so I this year I cooked and I made
everything gluten free, and I was tasting my stuffing last night,
I went, oh, this tastes different, and I was like, oh, yeah,
it's gluten free, but it's still good. And what makes
it special is I'm eating the same thing they are
(13:08):
and they're okay with that. And isn't so give yourself
permission to cook your own food. It's great.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah. Yeah. When we have food centric holidays, I always
go into this wasn't really about the food, folks, It's
about the people around you and your fateful and things
like that. So yeah, I just soon do just about
anything that isn't food related. But it's a big holiday
for people, and we cook up a storm, but it's
very nut free in this house. And I see some
(13:35):
amazing pecan pies out there. Before I was allergic, that
was my favorite thing to eat. And I do know
that doctor Katie Eastman makes a mean pecan pie and
I my husband loves that pecan pie. So it's awesome anyway.
All right, I'm bringing on both Rebecca Silence and Kelly
(13:56):
Lerman Brown, who are also wonderful friends of ours and
also best selling authors. I know them from their books
from being authors with them at HCI, and I'm going
to start with Rebecca. Rebecca Silence, how are you.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Very thankful to be a part of this beautiful community
and to also be alive against all adds. I was
still moved, you know, as we opened off the show
just with an honoring and gratitude of life.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you've had a year.
Speaker 7 (14:38):
I've had a year.
Speaker 6 (14:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
I'm a cancer survivor. I beat cancer with a five
percent chance and was diagnosed when I was pregnant, and
this year I had to have two more cancer related surgeries.
But you know, the most important thing that happened for
me this year is the birthing. And You've and a
(15:00):
huge support and part of this of what I'm calling
the Unsilent Woman movement. I'm ready to take my message.
My book is coming Back to Life, a roadmap to
heal from pain, to create the life you want to
a whole next level. I've always been the author. It's
a stand for trauma does not have to mean less
(15:20):
of a life. But now I want to help women
break the silence like never before in their lives and
in their families and allow them to experience the gift
and freedom of full self expression. And I think too
often we believe we need a breakdown to break through,
or we wait for a crisis or a really hard
life event to force our hand. But what if we
(15:42):
just decided to come back to life and to fully
live because we breathe and because we've been through enough
and it's time to live.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Right Katie, No amen to that?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, yeah, I'm all for living them all.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Let's just side you know, Rebecca. One of the things,
so I've watched your cancer journey for a number of
years now, and I remember just texting you going, oh
my god, you're going in for more surgery, you know,
just like, oh, please be okay, you know, kind of
just you know, you know, all the feelings I had,
(16:24):
and watching it, I've cheered up a number of times.
I've shared your story on and on because we had
a family member pass of melanoma this year on January tenth,
and you know, just it's just the just the pain
of it. And you know, I never saw you without
a smile on your face. And I know posting, I know,
posting in Facebook can be selective. I get it. I'm
(16:45):
sure everything wasn't all smiles and giggles, but man, oh man,
did you positive power push through that?
Speaker 7 (16:57):
I appreciate that reflections so much. And you know, well,
my mission is for joy and excitement to be the
rule I live by. I had my twenty first and
twenty second surgery related to cancer alone this summer, and
I just I'm stubborn, Elizabeth, and everybody know, I'm not
gonna let anything mean less of a life for me,
(17:18):
and I'm not gonna let anything or anyone give me
permission to be less me. So I am genuinely grateful
and wanting to be as alive as possible. And you know,
for me, I look at it through the lens of
I'm here to have the full human experience. You know,
it's not all gonna be laughter and orgasms and smiles,
(17:42):
but I can have the rule of my life be
an experience where I'm delighted and surprised and enjoying. And
that's really really important to me. And I looked at
cancer and I look at life as an opportunity to
be the best of me moments where it's the hardest.
I think it's the most applicable and the most essential
(18:05):
to have that intention of I always have control over
being the best me I can be and making the
best of this moment. And I don't think of that
as positivity. I think of it as a genuine possibility. So, yeah,
you were very there for me checking in and I
felt still held by you this summer, and it was
really hard. But I think when we let ourselves those
(18:27):
hard moments, in all of our humanity and as the
best of ourselves, you know, we get to access even
more of who we really are, And to me, that's
such a precious, precious gift. And then to be surrounded
with women like I am on this call and with
this community.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
What a gift.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
And I don't think it's a coincidence. When we're about service,
we attract people about service, and when we're really about service,
it starts with how are we serving ourselves? And this
is a community where we're serving ourselves so we can
be our best pace for the world. And that's the
only type of people I want to be around at
this point in my life.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah, Rebecca, this is Katie. I have a quote I
want to give you because this is so you.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
From my book.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
There's a story of a seventeen year old who was
diagnosed with cancer, terminal cancer, and he said to the world,
he said, you know what, if I got this thing,
I'm going to make it count. I'm going to make
a difference. And when someone asked him, wow, you're so
said to him, you're so courageous, and he said, no,
it's not courage, it's haf to. That's you. That reminded
(19:34):
me of you. Well, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:36):
I do see it that way, like I've burned the
option of I get to give myself permission to be
less me and I think we all have that power
And the thing I like to say is nothing outside
of you is more powerful than you period your ability
to create the experience you want to create, It's in you.
So you got me all fired up this morning. Elizabeth,
(19:58):
I'm so crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Helps a part of this.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Katy Thanksgiving? Yeah, no, happy Thanksgiving to you too. I'm
going to bring in Kelly now, Kelly, how are you hi?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Kelly, I'm doing great.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
How are you all?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
It is such an inspiring conversation, Like I think that
all of our stories apply to everyone around the world,
that is, that is, are experiencing loss or you know,
challenges in their health journey or you know, this is
just like an opportunity to illuminate.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
That we have to trust in grace, right, we have.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
To be aware of this present moment. And I'm just
writing an article for a magazine that's coming out in January.
And actually I did an article through Elizabeth last year
and we talked about time and new beginnings and clean
sleeps and you know, coming off what you're all saying,
we have to resonate in like a higher vibration of
(21:00):
love and being positive, right, and being grateful that we
have our our lives and this present moment.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
So you know, every time I get a chance to
talk to you, I I, well, I'm just gonna tell
the story, you know. So I've kind of like had
Kelly stalked before I even knew Kelly, because I am
one of the biggest fans of one of my goodness,
you know this already goods. Yeah, your thank You book.
I'm I'm like, I knew that book before I met you,
(21:31):
and I it's one of my favorite favorite favorite books.
So like when I heard you were going to be
an HgI author and out came the Mindful Forgiveness book
and I got to interview you, I nearly fell out
of my rocker. I'm like interviewing idle moment. Oh my god.
I got to interview Kristin Christine Carlson, who's that Don't
Sweat the Small Stuff brand and author, and it was
(21:55):
kind of that moment with you too. I'm like, oh, man,
she wrote that really popular thank You book book and so,
oh my god, yeah, no, you're we author stock you,
So we need to author stock you just a little
bit more. Sorry, thank you and have you tell everybody
the names of your books again. And I want the
exact things like the full title. That's why I was
(22:17):
writing down earlier, and yeah, go ahead, Okay.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
So the my newest book.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Which is with HDI and it's available on with all
of everyone's books on this call on Amazon and Barnes
and Noble and the Simon and Schuster platform and store
at any bookseller near you, is one hundred and one
ways to create mindful forgiveness. I have a two thank
you note books, one for kids and teens, calls one
(22:44):
hundred and one ways to say thank You for kids
and teens and one hundred and one ways to say
thank you for every occasion, which covers weddings, babies, business, Christmas, everything,
and it's you know, a universal book that everyone should
have have, you know, to help them keep that that
magic of gratitude in their lives.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
So I'm happy to do a giveaway.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
To anybody listening, reach out to me and happy to
do that.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
That's really a good idea. Actually, we could probably do
one giveaway with all of our books and give somebody absolutely.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Are you happy to do that?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Okay, Kelly, do me a favor and tell the story.
Do you mind telling stories today? Do you mind telling
stories about your parents and things like that or is
that sure?
Speaker 6 (23:36):
Of course absolutely.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I think that when we share like what's gone on
in our lives, like it applies to everybody and how
we met challenges.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Okay, So.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I live in Los Angeles and I live in an
area called the San Fernando Valley, and about eight years ago,
my parents were victims of the Alicio Canyon gas disaster,
which you know how we all heat up our ovens
and we have natural gas, and there was an explosion
in twenty fifteen that was right above my parents' home.
(24:16):
The dogs were dying, my mom got very sick, My
dad got sick, but my mom got sick the worst,
and she ended up dying from her injuries. And it
was the worst gas disaster in the history of the
United States. And it was a horrible situation for anyone
(24:40):
to go through because you're dealing with not only you know,
cancer and saving someone's life and not understanding, but you're
fighting this invisible monster and it was you know, I
think when you're faced with extreme trauma and adverse adversity,
(25:02):
and as everyone listening can understand, when your life is
on the line all of a sudden, all the things
that are precious to you change, because now you're thinking
about time, You're thinking about how precious it is.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
You're thinking about like the people that you love.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Because now you may be leaving the third right and
you don't care about the house and the Hamptons or
the car you drive or that designer handbag. You now
suddenly are coveting those treasured and precious moments with their children,
with your parents, you know, and the things you wish
you had done, the things that you wish you didn't
(25:49):
worry about.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
It's like all those fears we have.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
That we spend time worrying about.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
That make us crazy.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
The gossiping lady.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
You know at church or at school, or the mean
mom or whatever it is. None of it matters. None
of it matters. What matters is this moment today. One
of the things that I would reflect on when I
was going through this terrible journey and I had other
(26:22):
catastrophic things happened simultaneously with both my children, and I
had to rely on grace. I had to rely on
believing in the divine forces of the universe and trusting
in God and that somebody was helping me because I
actually because I did that, you know, I believe in
(26:45):
the power of prayer, and I would pray and say,
oh my God, please help me get through this, and
I would have signs and symbols along the way that
would help me and my parents' case.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Because of the evidence.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
That I was able to step forward with, became the
number one case out of forty thousand plaintiffs. And it
really doesn't matter at the end of the day, because
you know, I wasn't able to ultimately save my mom's
life and keep her here with me, but that information
that I gathered by being intuitive helped.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
It's for the greater good of forty thousand other people,
because I thought so.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I think that is the most important message that I
think everyone should listen to, is that I don't care
what's going on in your life right now, stop complaining
and start thinking about time.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
It is your most valuable currency and.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Trust in the grace of yourself and you know the
people that love you.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
So I need to have my own podcast. Ladies, you do.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Want to start with the start up for you?
Speaker 4 (27:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, we always we always say I'm best for you,
and all us say this, you know, we're not entitled
to time. And so I realized that you know, it
makes you really realize how valuable each and every like
even you know, nanosecond or whatever scientific term you want
to apply to that matters and so forth. And thank
you for sharing that that story, and and just a
(28:22):
little bit more about your life with people? Did you
I can't remember the timeline, but you know, for every
what made you become of an author about saying thank
you and you know, mindful forgiveness. What were some of
those moments where you went where you went? You know,
I'm going to do this.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
You know, my mother always raised my my, my brother
and sister and I to give back. My mom had
been through a lot in her own life, and she
realized that giving to others gave her the greatest joy.
So she would always do things with the veterans and
the runaway children or the abused children. And I was
(29:06):
in a program called National Charity League, a mother daughter program,
and we had to do a lot of volunteer work
and it changed my life, changed my life and in
ways that were so extraordinary. And so when I got married,
I wrote a lot of thank you notes. And we
didn't have a lot of money, and I had this
beautiful stationery and I started writing the thank you notes
(29:29):
on the computer, and you know, I spent a lot
of time writing crafting each one because I wanted that
person to know that the money they spent on me
how much I appreciated it.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
And people started.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Calling my husband and saying, oh my gosh, this.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
Is so amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
And you know, that's what I call the magic of gratitude.
When you send that thank you notes, you and you
tell someone, especially written down, that you took the time
to put pen to paper, and those thank you notes
become treasured, right because we're in such this digital age
(30:11):
of instantaneous communication.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
It's like, oh, yeah, thanks, But when you take.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
The time to write a handwritten thank you note on
beautiful stationery, you know, that is exciting when someone opens
their mail because it's unexpected and it becomes like.
Speaker 6 (30:26):
A treasure keepsake.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
The same thing for children. The Forgiveness book, it was
a It started as an accident between the publisher and
my agent, and I thought to myself, well, how am
I ever going to write a book about saying you're
sorry or for you know, And after I went through
this catastrophic situation, you know, I was on the It
(30:51):
was hard. I was crying every day I because it
wasn't just one moment. It was my parents made evacuated,
the total loss of their home, their dogs dying, and
trying to fight the government and SoCal Gas and the
Health Department. And I thought to myself, I have to
(31:15):
pull myself together, and I have for my children, and
I have to go on. And so the book is
how the things I learned we went to trauma training
at UCLA, and how I was able to move on again.
And it's such an easy, heart healing guide to forgiveness
(31:37):
and mindful tools for peace that resonate with everyone and
children and people covering from addiction, and you know people
that like you haven't spoken to in years like this
holiday season it's a perfect time to send a Christmas
card or our holiday card and say I missed you.
(31:57):
You know, let's get together right reconnection, because we're talking
about time right and right.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Doctor Kelly. I was when I was dying, when I
couldn't breathe and my breathing was changing, and I knew
I was dying. I remember so clearly. My thinking was
focused on do the people I know know I love them?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Yes, that was so powerful because you know you never
know what you're going to think about when you're dying,
and and I that was what it was. It was like,
oh my god, do my just does my family know
how much I love them? Does my do my friends do?
And so what I did afterwards is I called everybody
(32:44):
and I just said I love you, I really love you.
And I was lying there thinking of you, and I
want you to know that. And my poor brother I
called him. It was in the airport getting ready to
get on a plane, and I said, I just called
to tell you I love you. When you start crying, right,
but you know we'll never forget that call exactly. We
(33:05):
don't often do those things because we're afraid to do it,
we're uncomfortable, blah blah blah. But let me tell you,
when you're on death's door, that's what matters. And I
love yours, Kelly, because it's true.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Thank you, isn't This is Rebecca.
Speaker 7 (33:20):
I couldn't agree more. And I just want to say,
for anyone thinking about but how will they respond to
me or how will they react? The heartfelt communication is
so you left no stone unturned and so you know
you spoke up and showed up as the you you
really are. It's not about how they respond. It's about
(33:43):
you giving your heart, and it's about Lily knowing you
had the courage to do that. I just wanted to
put that out because people are funny, especially this time
of year. And however they receive you, you gave to them.
That's what matters.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Mm hmm, doctor Katie. Yes, If if somebody is out
there and they're living their life infuriated, what would you
like to say to them?
Speaker 3 (34:12):
You know, anger is fine, Anger is healthy. It's what
you do with it that you either choose. There's a
great saying that if you if you try to do
something vindictive to someone else, it's like drinking your own poison.
And so that doesn't work. It hurts you more than
(34:32):
it hurts them. What helps you with the anger is
healthy discharge. Find healthy ways to discharge your anger. Journal scream.
I am a big proponent of go to the beats,
throw rocks in the water. One of my clients who
lost took up a child, took glass jars, set himself
(34:54):
up on his garage door, put a put a plastic
tarp down on the ground, and just threw glass jars
at the door, and that was so therapeutic for him.
He just swore and screamed and yelled and anything you
need to do to let that anger energy out of
your body, but don't direct it at someone else who
(35:15):
doesn't deserve it. And get the rage out before you
try to talk with someone else, because there's a lot
of reasons for anyone to be angry. Anger is a
healthy emotion. There's no such thing as a negative emotion.
I'm gonna say that twice. No such thing as a
negative emotion. We need them all. It's how much discomfort
(35:39):
we have with certain emotions. So embrace your anger in
a healthy way, and then you'll be able to get
along better with people and do what we've talked about,
which is forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I love it. So for somebody listening who doesn't have
a gratitude practice, we would all like to give you
some tips on how to start that gratitude practice. I know,
I know, I began kind of angry and with food
allergies and my dad being sick and things like that,
and I started to shift that energy into Okay, I'm
(36:14):
going to make a list of the things I'm grateful
for it. And at first it was like grateful for
my husband, I'm grateful for my house, I'm grateful you know,
you know things kind of thing, and it shifted into
wait a minute, I'm grateful for breath, and I would
wake up and once I started shifting into like, wait
a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,
(36:35):
I'm grateful for just being here and breathing. I'm going
to wake up with that every day and get that perspective.
My internet just went down.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
Oh we're back, I hear.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Oh oh sorry, Kelly, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes, or yeah, go ahead, or Rebecca, whoever wants to
go first. It's fine. Sorry Kelly, No, it's okay.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
I I dis missed whatever you on said. But you know,
even as Rebecca was just saying too talking about as
her breath was going, you know, the very first thing
that happens in our life is we take the breath
of life. And it is the very last thing that
we leave as we leave this earthly journey, right, and
(37:24):
when we experience fear or trauma, you know.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
Or joy, we catch our breath.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
And it is so important during these times of trauma
or adversity or struggle or fear that we take those
moments as doctor Eastman was just saying, and we are conscious.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Of our breath. You know, if everybody could just take.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
A moment and put their hand across their chest and
take some deep breaths and ground yourself and make it
a daily practice to you know, walk for twenty minutes
by yourself and say, what's going on with me? How
do I feel? Do I feel anger? And why? You know,
(38:11):
write it down.
Speaker 6 (38:12):
Write down the things you're worried.
Speaker 8 (38:14):
About, because I think kind of like when you it
goes hand in hand with that blessing list, right, the
things that you're grateful for, because it will change the
energy around you.
Speaker 6 (38:27):
You know, today as we're.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Around our thanksgiving tables, you.
Speaker 6 (38:30):
Know, I have everybody say, gosh, you know.
Speaker 7 (38:33):
What are you thankful for? What are you grateful for?
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Because we don't think about it.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
We don't walk.
Speaker 9 (38:38):
Around saying, oh, I'm grateful for the sun, I'm grateful
for the air I greef. You know, it's it's almost like, oh,
that's ridiculous, and until you're faced with leaving it behind,
so you know, I think it's again.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Gratitude is contagious. You know, when when people laugh, there's
something special about it, and we need to change that
energy to joy, and we need to resonate in that
positive vibration because it feels it's just, you know, you
feel like a completely different person. I mean, there's lots,
(39:14):
there's lots I can say, but you know, if you're upset,
put on a funny movie, put on the movie else,
you know, put on Saturday Night Live like, put on
a happy song and change that energy from sadness to joy.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
I'm in here, Yeah, Rebecca, go for it, Becca, because
I think the bridge that closes the gap is forgiveness
right from right that to joy right And this is
the chapter I get the almost feedback about in my
book Coming Back to Life, a Roadmap to help from
ping to create the life you want. Because my spin
(39:51):
on forgiveness is very simple. It doesn't make it easy,
but it's about loving as much as you did before
you got hurt. And I don't think there is gratitude
without forgiveness. And we're not here to be conditional love.
In my opinion, We're here because we are love. And
I think more than ever, we need leaders consistently embodying
(40:14):
love and radiating love from a genuine place and people
are innocent. People are doing the best they can and
we're all human, so hurt is inevitable. But harboring the hurt, right,
that is a choice. And when I protect and guard
my heart, I block out love and people don't get
(40:35):
to feel the real meat. So I think it's always
the correct choice and the bravest choice to practice forgiveness.
What is in the way of me loving as much
as I can, as much as I want to is
a great journal exercise, and forgive yourself for any judgment
against yourself. Right, But let's really look at forgiveness, because
(40:55):
you can have healthy boundaries and you can love certain
people from a distance done the forgiveness work. In my
right cases, the forgiveness work is enough to repair and
reinvent the relationship and then you know again people are
people that you can forgive and you can be the
love you are, and that is medicine the world needs
more than ever before.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
So maybe instead of a gratitude list this year, on
this day of gratefulness and gratitude, what we should start
doing is maybe a forgiveness list instead.
Speaker 7 (41:28):
Yeah, well more as part one, right, because like, the
gratitude is next freaking level, right, I'm the emotional healing coach,
and that's always crying, but it's almost always tears of joy. Right,
Like this morning, I'm in Older Colorado and it is
snowing and it is gorgeous, and I'm just like, are
you streaking kidding me? I get to start my day
(41:48):
on this call with these authors that make a difference
in the world, Like, I am sprying genuine tears of gratitude,
but I'm not afraid to do the forgiveness work, which
allows me to have done more gratitude. So I just
would say, can we do both? Please? Like what are
we forgiving? And then what is our next level of
gratitude from that place?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
All right? Doctor k.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
Yeah, I think this is awesome And God, I just
love talking to all of you. One thing that really
strikes me. I've had a lot of conversations with a
lot of people in the last few weeks who are
struggling to forgive themselves because they're feeling so much anger
and sadness and grief and pain and anger toward others.
(42:38):
And they're really really struggling with that. And what I
want to encourage everyone to remember is give yourself grace,
give yourself grace first, because you can't forgive someone else
until you can forgive yourself. So give yourself grace for
the fact that you feel in all these feels and
(42:59):
deal with them and feel them and be real with them.
And once you've done your forgiveness, that's important. But there
are some people that can't be with other people who
won't allow that. So I think I also want to
give people a message of if you can't do it,
if you're not there, it's okay be where you are,
(43:21):
because it's a process. I mean, I think, Kelly, when
you talked about your parents and that hole, oh my god,
that is such a great example of trauma and how
trauma takes time, and trauma takes its toll, and trauma
and grief and trauma and loss and all of those
things are like a roller coaster, and so it's really
(43:44):
important that people give themselves grace that they don't need
to do it all at once. They can't and what you
can't do is so important to recognize so that you
can move forward in your own organic pace.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Yes, I just want to jump in and add to
that in self forgiveness, and that is life is a
journey and we are here to learn, and you know,
we have all gone through these incredible life lessons and
you know, whether you have become you know, like made terrible.
Speaker 6 (44:23):
Mistakes or hated on your spouse.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Or an addict or you know, you, you know, whatever
it is, Okay, you learned your lessons. You have to
trust in grace and you need to move on in
your life. And the people that want to hold on
to grudge and not forgive you, okay, Well, then as
you were just saying, you know, like if they don't
(44:48):
want to repair, I think Rebecca was just saying, if
they don't want to repair and renew the relationship, then
you have to say, okay, you can't beg someone once
you've said i'm sorry with with sincerity, that spirit of sincerity,
and you mean it and you're moving forward to have
a better life. If those people don't want to hold
(45:09):
your hand on the journey, that.
Speaker 6 (45:11):
Is okay, life is long. Maybe they'll come back and
maybe they won't. But you don't want to stay chained to.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
Somebody who is belittling you in a relationship or in
a friendship or in a work situation because those people
are keeping you down. Walk away from them because you
need to live your best life on the Best Ever You.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
So I've loved having you guys here today. We're going
to go. We're going to go on. We're going to
go pretty soon here and and move on with our
beautiful Thanksgiving days and our families and all that stuff
we just take up. We just take a moment out
of everybody's.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
Time today to do this show.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
And I'm really grateful that you're all here. Katie I
want to and all you guys, I want to. And
on the note of peace, one of the things that
Katie and I worked really really hard at doing is
helping people find peace. We have Best Ever You dot
Com forward slash Percolatepiece, and we'd like to invite you
(46:17):
all to go to that website and share There's a
place where you can actually type stuff in on that site,
on that page and you can go in and share
a little note of gratitude or peace with us, and
we would love for you to do that today. So
it's Best Ever You dot Com Forward slash Percolatepiece, and
that kind of goes hand in hand with our book
Percolate Let your Best Self Filter Through, which is that
(46:40):
Hayhouse book that was published ten years ago. Now, Katie,
I thinks ten years old, that's crazy and yeah wow.
And then I didn't mention my books. I have the
Changed Guidebook and the Success Guidebook also, which have bits
and pieces of forgiveness and joy and change and love
and all those things in there too, So just mentioning that.
(47:01):
But what do you guys think bring just real quick,
like a sentence or two, Kelly, what brings you the
most peace and joy in your life? Oh?
Speaker 4 (47:13):
I would definitely say spending time with my family. I mean,
I think that everyone feels that way. And I also
think like stepping out under the stars and connecting to
a bigger universe and realizing that, like this journey on
this earth is what's the most important. You know, there's
(47:33):
a whole universe out there and the things that we
obsess on and are fearful of don't matter. Look to
the stars.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
How about you, Rebecca?
Speaker 7 (47:47):
You know, for me, it's really about how grateful I
am for the freedom of full self expression. I look
at healing as freedom and I think it's a revolution
to give up self betrayal in the name of love.
And I think that is the path to tease being
(48:09):
someone who's unwilling to betray yourself in the name of
love and instead loving yourself enough to make sure your
life honors and respects and takes care of you. And
for me, it makes me more attractive. For my clients,
it makes them more attractive. So knowing there's nothing to
lose or nothing to fear by being fully expressed in
the truth of who you are and being unwilling to
(48:31):
betray yourself in the name of love. Ever again, I
think of the path to piece that you know, we
don't talk about enough, and it's my favorite one.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
You know, I still think you need like a congregation
before you probably you were something to Mecca Woman's movement.
Speaker 7 (48:48):
Everyone wanting to help me get it out there. Go
to Instagram at the US Woman. Oh, it's on Elizabeth's
in the embryonic stages. But watch out because I'm comment.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Such an eloquent speaker you are, Katie, how about you
let's talk about peace and hang on one secon We're
gonna end the show with me and Katie, So Rebecca
and Kelly stay with us though, because we're going to
close and just say good guy. But we're just gonna
talk a little bit about peace here because peace can
piece is such a big topic. Go ahead, Katie.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Peace comes from knowing ourselves and giving back. And I
get the most peace when I observe love being exchanged,
little tiny acts of magical love. It can be to
an animal, it can be loving a tree, it can
(49:42):
be loving a nature. But I really believe the magic
of living is love and exchanging love, and that is
what gives us peace. But I think our whole message
today is that you can't get to peace if you
don't know yourself. Time with yourself and being peaceful with
(50:03):
yourself and learning life's lessons gets you to peace. And
and peace can be in a moment. Peace can be.
I mean, it's it's striving for peace by knowing yourself.
Speaker 5 (50:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, sometimes it can be even just carving out those
moments of quiet with your cat or your dog, or
your your kids or whatever. It's it's almost like pieces
everything that that isn't hate, you know, hate or all
there's it's knowing what gives you peace.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Yeah, it's knowing what gives you peace and and knowing
what doesn't and changing your life so that you have
more peace. And that's what are what we're trying to
do by getting a million people to come to commit
to peace, to learning more about yourself, to giving back
to being a peaceful person in this world.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
One more. Yeah, a million people will go. We're looking
for a million people to join us on best everu
dot com forward slash percolate piece. So type in those
messages of peace and join us because we're we're on
a peace movement for sure. And Katie, before we go,
could you talk a little bit about December seventh and Ukraine. Oh?
Speaker 3 (51:22):
Absolutely, I have been blessed beyond words to be working
with a group of four women who, in the midst
of the onslaught of the beginning of the Ukrainian War,
created a mental health program from bomb shelters no less
for providing mental health support to Ukrainians. And they themselves
(51:46):
are psychologists and now several of them are out of
the country, some of them are still in the country.
But December seventh, they're going to tell their story. They're
going to get online and they're going to thank all
the people that have helped them so that they could
help and they've helped over six hundred Ukrainians. And the
whole program is based on promoting peace by helping them
(52:11):
deal with trauma and not turn the trauma into hate,
but instead turn it into hope. And it's a beautiful program.
I'm so proud of them and they're amazing women. They're inspiring.
And December seventh they're doing something called Yellow Blue. So
if you go to the website, you will see on
(52:31):
Besseriu you'll see a link to best to Yellow Blue
on December seventh. And I encourage all of you to
put to to come and see them and listen to them,
because oh my god, they every day they wake up
to look and see who's died their life. So talk
about reminding us of being grateful. They're grateful that people
(52:56):
are still alive. So really, they have a message of
hope that is powerful beyond words. Amazing. Are you back,
(53:23):
I'm here?
Speaker 7 (53:26):
Are you still here too? Okay?
Speaker 3 (53:32):
I think we lost Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (53:36):
You know what, you know, what's happening is what we're
talking about is blowing up the universe.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
Because that's what's happening.
Speaker 7 (53:44):
We bring our matrix.
Speaker 6 (53:46):
The magic of gratitude and forgiveness is just what you know,
it's just making it's.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
A vibration, kicking the internet and.
Speaker 6 (53:56):
That's what we're talking about.
Speaker 4 (53:58):
You know, it resonates on a high level.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
So this is what we want.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
We want to add some sparkle and sequence and sunshine
and starlight right to all of our lives.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Right. So, and you you guys are wonderful. I mean,
I just ah, your voices are so powerful and awesome, amazing.
This has been an incredible thing. Yeah. I don't know
if we're still on the air or not.
Speaker 7 (54:25):
I'm so grateful to meet you all. I hope we
stay connected. I'm Rebecca Si.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Yes, this has been really special and the we need
more women's voices.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!