Real Life with Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and Dr. Katie Eastman

Welcome to the Real Life Podcast with Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and Dr. Katie Eastman.  This podcast series focuses on self-help discussions about topics related to gratitude, change, success, compassion and peace. We're here to help you Percolate Peace. There are changes and transitions that challenge all of us. Think of this as tools for your best life toolbox, so that when you need to reach within to navigate something in your life, you have resources and have been taught how to chart a course forward. Each hour-long audio segment offers stories and lessons learned by us and people who have overcome these challenges and practical ways for you to manage these stressors in your own life. Dr. Katie Eastman and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, CMC are the authors of the bestselling book Percolate-Let Your Best Self Filter Through which was published by Hay House in 2014. Dr. Eastman is also the author of Uplifting. Elizabeth is the author of The Change Guidebook and The Success Guidebook.   Learn more about DrKatieEastman.com, BestEverYou.com and ElizabethGuarino.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
We came in laughing, didn't we, Katie. We always come
in laughing.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
I mean we real we do.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Here.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
We are our first real life podcast. We're going to
do a bunch of these and a series, I think,
unless it maybe catches on and we do more.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
But welcome.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm Elizabeth. My last name is Hamilton Garino. And there's
mel the podcast Kitty roam around in the background, and.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm Katie and I'm in my office here where I
do a lot of therapy. And I don't have any
animals in here because they would just chew everything.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
So yeah, whatever. She just hangs out and if she
likes the conversation, she might sit in the background, like
right there. But anyway, it's so good to see you.
You too always. I love we smile, I love all
the things that we're doing. So I'm all excited. And
I love your I love your shirt too. We match,

(00:55):
you match sometimes everybody just so you know, and it's
it's inadvertent, but we I do have that same shirt
and it's hysterical. I did not almost wear it today.
But if we ever do, you know, well, we're just
going to keep on matching, right, We'll just keep all right.
And the other thing too, is we're not going to
edit this, so I just want everybody to know this

(01:18):
is just going to record and it is as is.
So if the doorbell rings, or the dog's bark or
on my end, whatever happens, happens. Right. But we're here.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
We're your change.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
We call ourselves your change experts, and we're here to
help one million people or more. Percolate Piece, We're here
to help you root. I love this root and gratitude,
navigate change, find your best success, and percolate. Piece and
Katie talk about what that means exactly Percolate.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
We wrote a book together called Percolate, and one of
our themes is we really truly believe that peace begins
with us, means with everyone. And right now everyone is
struggling with non understanding what's going on in the world
and how could I make a difference. Well, we want
you to make a difference, but it starts with you,
it starts with us. It starts with understanding us what

(02:15):
our needs are, what our wants are, and what triggers
us in communication. And so we're going to talk a
lot about difficulties and challenges in communication so that we
can percolate peace by understanding how to respond versus react.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
We all want everyone on this call to hear and
understand themselves better so they can be a better them
with others. That right life piece.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yep. And this is a little tool for your best
life toolbox. And I think each of these will probably
be end up being like a half an hour or
two an hour long. This first one is about adapting
to new circumstances, handling changes whatever they are, job, location, lifestyle,
whatever you want there. And I just want to give

(03:08):
us a little bit of background. I know we wrote
Percolate together. There's perkoly.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's beautiful glory. It's a hay House book. So Katie
and I co wrote this book. It was published by
hay House back in twenty fourteen. Wow, right, it's ten
years old. Happy tenth anniversary. We hug this book and
love this book. If you love coffee and you love
metaphors and you love self help, this one's for you.
I'm just gonna do a little book infomercial here.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
And then you have.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Uplifting, which is amazing and new.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
I wrote Uplifting. It was published in March and It's
inspiring stories of how change brings about loss, an opportunity
for harnessing your resilience and making a difference in the
world by how you cope with change. And the people

(04:01):
in this book are all inspiring. Their stories uplift you.
They give you tools. And my toolkit that I offer
as well is cards that I wrote with prompting questions
at the end for at the end of each chapter
from the book that are now in card form, So

(04:22):
if you're going through a change and you want to
get help with how to navigate that change, these questions
will help you ask yourself, what do I need, what
do I want? How do I want to do this?
And how can you make your choices purposeful in making
a difference in the in the world.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
I love it. Yeah, Doctor Katie is one of my mentors.
Has taught me so much over the years. I met
doctor Katie in a moment where both of our parents
were sick and in the process of passing away, and
it was it was sad and having to navigate all
of that with your help was much much. I wouldn't

(05:00):
say it was easier, but it was.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
It helped make sense of it.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
It just it.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, because my dad was a stroke survivor from two
thousand and four to twenty eighteen, and we wrote Percolate
a lot. There's a lot of my dad in this book,
a lot of his story and things like that. So
it's always like one of those books that I just
I hug in love and then we have two more books.
We'll probably write another book together, guys. Just let everybody know,

(05:29):
but we have in the meantime, we have the Change
Guidebook and the Success Guidebook. Both are books published by
HCI and everybody at CHAY. They're near and dearer to
our heart too. But this one's about this one. I
can't tell which hand. This one's about navigating I'm the
goofier of the two of us. Maybe sometimes this one's

(05:49):
about navigating change, and this one is about navigating success
and redefining success for yourself personally and professionally.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
But so these are.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Books that we know love as well. So together we
have four books on the topics of gratitude, change, success, peace, percolating,
whatever it is, self help. We're there to help you.
So yeah, pretty cool. They're pretty practical tools too, don't
you think, Katie, they're not.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Absolutely. One of the reasons we call our we wanted
to call this getting Real is because all we both
in our books, in everything we do, we're very practically oriented.
Life is full of ups and downs and challenges and
loss and loss being opportunity to change. And we both

(06:38):
having lost our parents, both of us with parents with strokes,
went through those series of really challenging losses before they
died and after they died. So we know firsthand and
we just keep it real because you know, when life
is hard, nobody wants you to get give you fluff.
This is a no fluff area. We will not fluff

(07:02):
on this podcast. I mean, we both realize that that's
not what you need when you're going through real life stuff. Yeah,
and you know it can be like like me.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
So I was going to tell everybody I just turned
fifty five and one of the things that Katie gave
me for my birthday is this beautiful necklace, and on
it in her handwriting says percolate piece. I can't I
don't want to get close enough to the to the
wrinkles the camera to show everybody, but I'll take a
separate picture of the necklace, but it says perkolate piece

(07:34):
and it is just the most gorgeous thing. So it's
it's right here, and it's just so it's just a
great little reminder to go right here with everything. Isn't
it just right your heart? It is?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
It is, And you know, we're going to talk from
the heart. We're going to talk honestly, We're going to
talk authentically. We're going to give you ideas and thoughts
from where we are in our lives. I'm at a
different season. I'm sixty four, and so I'm facing changes
that Elizabeth is yet to come to. But I'm real

(08:08):
about what I'm going through. I have health changes and challenges,
and just like anybody who's sixty four, there are things
that are changing every day.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
I think the fifties they change a little bit too.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
So every season, every season brings with it its challenges,
but also those are opportunities to learn and grow.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, I love it. And then the other thing too,
We're both I wanted to make sure people know this.
We are both moms, and we are both married to
our significant others for a number of years. We've got
twenty six years over here. How many do you have.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
We have twenty seven twenty.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Seven, so we're married, we're married with children, and we
have a lot of fun with those stories as well.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
So I have a.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Feeling those are going to come in. I know I'm
gonna hold the books back up. One of the things
I forgot to say about my books is, you know,
my kids are in these books. Their stories are in
these books. My parents are in these books. There are
also in each book twenty other people who show up
in the book to contribute their stories and things like that.
So there's a lot of people involved with helping us

(09:15):
all find our authenticity and stay there and keep things
real and so forth. So I love this and I
can't wait to see how this podcast is received and
the questions people ask us or the comments.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yes, so I'm very excited to have real life situations
and people talking about themselves and what they need and
offering them support. Yeah. I've been a therapist and a
coach for over thirty five years. I'm a licensed therapist,
so there is nothing I haven't heard, trust me, and

(09:51):
my specialty has always been trauma and grief and loss.
So there is no situation too dire, too difficult to
challenging that I haven't been able to support someone through
including multiple losses, including people who've lost multiple people in
their families at once. COVID was my busy season. I've

(10:12):
never worked so hard. So anything is available if you
are struggling with anything. Never hesitate to reach out.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, I reach out when I have things. So yeah,
doctor Katie is a phenomenal resource. I will also add
that I call us the co founders of Best Ever You.
We kind of are because I kind of started it
and then Katie Katie found Katie found it, and then
we did a bunch of things together. So I don't
think Best Ever You would be what it is today

(10:41):
without you. So I just always am saying, you know,
we kind of both started the best Ever You. I know,
we started the Best Ever You podcast together, which has
like five million downloads now and seven hundred guests and
things like that. We've written books together, and then best
Ever You dot Com is a place where you can
go to find to both of us. Aside from that,
we have our own webs sites and own lives and
things like that. So doctor Katie Eastman is doctor Katie

(11:04):
Eastman dot com. And then you also have recreate coaching
and counseling as well. So and all you really have
to do is google doctor Katie Eastman and everything comes
right up on my end. I have Elizabethgarino dot com.
And then our books are available wherever books are sold.
I think we kind of hang out on Amazon that
most of the books come are sold through Amazon. You

(11:26):
can go to the publisher's websites. I do love Books
a million, especially here in South Portland. They've been doing
a phenomenal job with our books and things. So Books
a Million, Barnes and Noble and the publishers.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
So that's kind.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Of our housekeeping like who are we and what are
we doing here kind of thing. Is there anything else
we forgot? No?

Speaker 2 (11:45):
I think that's good. I think just know that about us.
We're here to help, that's we're here. We're here to
make a difference, We're here to perkolate piece.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah. Absolutely. Okay, So with that said, I heard you
had a peaceful getaway last weekend.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I did. My husband and I we started out our
relationship going to these body and soul conferences together way
back when when they were happening and during that quote
New Age movement, and so we've continued to do that.
We do little getaways where two or three days where

(12:21):
we review what we want to work on as a couple,
what we want to work on with as a family.
We write things down and we always go to a nature,
a nature, a place that's beautiful nature. So we went
to Whistler Mountain and we just sat in front of
the fire and just visioned and it was really cool,
it was really relaxing, was beautiful, it was It was

(12:43):
just a really important time. And I totally encourage everyone
to do that, not just alone because we usually do
it alone, but to do it with your spouse or
your partner or your significant other, your kids. Vision visioning
is hugely important. How do you want your life to be? Yeah?
What happens if you keep all that inside?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
You know? I always say, you know, gosh, make sure
you tell people your goals. Like we just put out there,
we want to help people. What help a million people?
Percolate piece we're saying it out loud. What happens when
we do that?

Speaker 2 (13:16):
I think it's incredible. The ripple effect, because think about
your every day, how many people you encounter, especially if
you are working in a workplace or you are taking
your kids, to school, even the grocery store. My mom
used to say to me that you can change someone's
life by just smiling at them a stranger. Just smile

(13:37):
at them and see what happens. So, if we all
committed to Percolate piece, can you imagine what the world
could be like? Yes, commit to that, commit to being
kind and authentic and loving towards yourself first, and then
that will happen towards others and the ripple effect is huge.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, we have two cool have two quotes and maybe
they originated from your mom, I'm not real sure, but
we have two quotes in Percolate. One is think with
your heart and the other one is random acts of
kindness create waves of peace. And those two quotes live
with that book and live with us, and they're just
so important to remember every day that just just even

(14:19):
those just that just kind of stop. I implement the pause.
I say, you know, just stop and pause around people
because you have absolutely no idea what's going on with
them at all, and maybe they don't even want to
tell you even if you ask. So we have absolutely
no idea. And so it's it's important as we encounter
people to to bring that perkolate piece to make sure

(14:40):
that we are graceful, kind, what you say, compassionate with others,
maybe slowed down and pausing around other people instead of
such a rush. You know where all those things around
other people make a difference. And you know, I sometimes
you taught me this, you know. It's like I used
to get so annoyed. I'm like, I'm from the Midwest

(15:00):
and I'm on the East Coast and be like, oh
my gosh, there's so much honking Katie, and You're like,
you don't know where they're going. You don't know if
they're in a hurry to get to rush their loved
one to the hospital or whatever it is. I'm like, oh,
good point, really good point. Okay, I'll be less annoyed
with the honking, right.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
I learned that lesson. I was at an inn and
I got really annoyed because I went in the pool
and it ruined my bathing suits. So I went up
to the front desk and I was all witchy, and
I felt really badly because you know what the person
at the front desk said. He said, well, I'm really sorry,
but I was delayed getting to it because I had

(15:36):
to take my child to get her leukemia treatment, and
I went, oh, man, oh crap, and all of a
sudden life became so real and I was like, you
never know, You just never know. So responding versus reacting
is a huge part of percolating.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Piece It takes maybe it takes a moment or two
of those though, to kind of to get it in
your being to remember to be on autopilot pausing around
other people and being people takes a few I've had
a couple of those instances too. I'm like, oh, why
did I just do that? And think kind of thing.
But yeah, all right. So so it sounds like a

(16:16):
really cool getaway and it sounds meaningful, and it's do
you do that once a year or do you do that.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Multiple multiple times? We do it when we need it.
And we've discovered that two or three days away or
two or three staycation days are so good for us
rather because we're both therapists, and we're both and we
both have very intense work lives and frankly we need

(16:42):
to get away from you.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
And think more. I'm like, oh, and you're getting away
from people and then you're strategizing. It's like, oh, no,
get away from people to attract people to our business.
That's pretty funny. Yeah, Ill we call that marriage maintenance.
Yeah yeah, marriage maintenance. It's like okay, yeah, and sometimes

(17:07):
it's it's true too. Sometimes that avoids a fight or
or miscommunication or things like that when you get ahead
of it, especially if something is like if you're feeling resentful,
or something's eaten at you or whatever it is, you
get ahead of it with those.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Well, anytime you have a significant change in your life
that that's happening to either one of you, it's happening
to both of you, it's happening to everyone in your family.
So you have to take inventory of what's going on
from everyone's perspective.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
You know. That is so important because do you ever
get the question I'm off here already, sorry people, but
do you ever get the question, what how do you
stay married so long? Or what does it take to
stay married so, you know, for years and not have
it end in divorce and things like that. I get
asked that all the time, and that is one of

(17:56):
the answers that ability to navigate because it's constantly changing, Yes, it's.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Constantly changing, and there are unexpected challenges.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Oh yeah, for us.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
It was infertility. You know, we got married expecting to
have three kids and like you know, the perfect to
the house and everybody. We had the vision everybody has
when they first get married, the Cinderella castle, so to speak.
And it didn't happen that way. And so really it's
so important for everyone to recognize that life, real life,

(18:32):
doesn't happen the way that you expect it to. And
it's riding those waves, those challenges of change that's what
brings you closer. It's when you ignore them that you're
not expecting when they come up, and you don't have
the tools to manage them. I mean, think about all
those poor people who are struggling with the hurricanes. You know,

(18:54):
they are struggling and challenged, and my heart goes out
to them. And those are time is when we have
to really get into our resilient nature and choose to
believe that we can get through it.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Toget, Yeah, need a lot of help. That is scary.
And then another one bearing down in Florida right now.
So yeah, I thought, you know, we hmmed in hot
about whether to include current events and here at this moment,
and we just did. I thought we would you know,
because I think you taught me this a long time
ago as well, too. Is that there's my dog calling.

(19:30):
If you hear Harley in the background, she howls at
whatever it is. So but you taught us. You taught
me anyway and us to take a look at a
current event and see it through the eyes of compassion
and what we can do because something I can't remember
exactly what it was, but I taught I called you
up and I'm like, I heart hurts from that.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, oh I remember.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
It was a shooting and I said, I don't know
how to deal with this at all. I don't know
what to say to the kids. I don't know what
to do. And you're like, well, you know, this isn't
going to be like perfect, like a you know, roll
out a script and here's what you say. But here
are some things you can say. And I think those
moments are so important. There's more tools for your toolbox

(20:16):
when people need you.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Well. Yeah, And one of the things that people forget.
Parents forget it's okay to tell your kids you don't
know what to say. Yeah, it's okay to say to
them that you're struggling to understand it too. That's healthy.
I mean being trite, or being dismissive, or being or
reducing the impact by trying to be fluffy and say, oh,

(20:42):
it's going to be okay, that'll never happen to you.
That's not what they need. That's just yeah, that's just
us being uncomfortable. What they need to hear from you
is you know, this is awful, this is horrible, and
I don't know what to say to you. All I
want you to know is I love you and I'll
do everything I can to protect you. That's what they
need to hear.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Like, I woke up this morning to somebody in my
Facebook saying, well, here's where my house used to be, right,
And that was the first thing I saw this morning.
I'm like, oh my gosh, and it's somebody I know,
and I'm like, I don't you know. I was going
to ask you know what you know? I basically said,
you know, I'm We're completely here for you if you

(21:24):
need us, if you need a place to stay, if
you need whatever you need. But she's like, everything's gone
except these three pots, and it was like gardening pots
regarding I'm like, oh my goodness, right, that's just one
human being right, So I was thinking about that. So anyway,
in a.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Case like that, less is more saying I'm here for you,
I love you, I care about you, I'm here for you.
And also when people reach out during a crisis and
they say, you know, I'm here, let me know what
you need, they don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, they don't hear you either.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
They're too Yeah they need. But if you say to them,
I can bring food, I can listen to you, I
can send money for clothes, I can send clothes, I
can be here. If you need a place to stay,
I'll send you a plane ticket. I mean those are concrete, absolute, authentic,

(22:21):
real things that they need right now. And so be
real with people. Don't fluff. That's our motto. We don't fluff.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
We don't fluff. And then the other thing too, I remember,
I was, I remember I was. I talked about this too,
was it. Sometimes things happen then they're so complex that
they make your own real life seem inconsequential. For example,
you know something will happen and you go and I'm
worried about rearranging my furniture, which is what I did

(22:52):
this weekend. Is it was my big change we rearranged
the living room, you know. And it's still meaningful though,
but you feel like it doesn't mean as much. Hm.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Well, the work that I'm doing in Ukraine always reminds
me of that. I but I take the attitude of
I can help them as much I can, as much
as I can I help with a mental health program there,
and I can do that, and I'm going to honor them, yeah,
with what I can do, with absolutely doing everything I can,

(23:28):
not just for them, but living my best life is
honoring them because they have these challenges and I don't.
So I'm going to make the most of my life
because i can, yeah, not take it for granted.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, Yeah, And you know, it's been interesting because so
I'm a mom of four sons and they're and Katie
knows this, but to everybody, they are this year twenty three,
twenty five, twenty seven, and twenty nine, and we are,
and we they're they're what I call they're coming in
going like the front doors, like a little revolving door
a little bit. They come here when they need to,
they leave when they need to. But we have one

(24:05):
of our sons has been overseas in Germany playing professional
baseball for the past year, and he just got back
into town a few weeks ago. He's been at his
fiancee's house with their family, and they're coming up here
for three weeks. So I'm in squirreling around clean mode.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
And then the other.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Thing that happens when everybody comes home is they all
do their own laundry, of course, but the you know,
the laundry machine's going again, the food is going again,
that everything's going again, so the house has got that home.
But I remember, and I just was looking at somebody
else's podcast there they were almost in like tears over
there being empty nesters. Yeah, and the prospect, well, it's happening.

(24:49):
It just happened, and she's like, what do I do
with myself? And I'm like, oh, I remember that, And
I remember that when the first one left, and then
the second, and then the third and the fourth, and
then we weren't empty.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Nesters for too long.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
One came back, and I know that feeling your heart
sort of sinks when they go.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Oh yeah, that's worse.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
So I'm all excited they're all going to come back.
And it's funny.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Well, and mine is twenty two. My daughter is twenty
two and she is going to be leaving for college
in January. Again, she went and then came home during
COVID and now she's going back. And I remember that feeling.
Oh my heart was just empty. It was like, where

(25:34):
is she? Yeah, it's really hurts, and people minimize that
a lot of times, but especially it is really painful
when they first leap. And this time I think is
she'll be gone for a long time, and so we
recognize I already am anticipating that grief. But that's a

(25:54):
very real grief.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
It's funky because you're like, what do I do with
their room? Do I leave it?

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Change it? There's a hole, There's so many things.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
So I invite you, if anybody is listening and going
through that, comment and tell us what's going on in
your life, what you changed, what you know, just everything,
all the changes that you're going through. Uh, these are
our personal scenarios and our thinking and so forth. But
if you've got something you want to talk about or
something that's going on in your life, comment and you know,
we can discuss it in the next podcast, or we

(26:26):
can comment back on social media, or if you need
one of us or whatever. You can call or you know,
we've got all sorts of ways. But yeah, so that's
our that's our real life happenings. Anything else going on there, Katie,
that's why I feel.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
I'm like, that's good.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, it was funny. But you know the funny thing
about rearranging your furniture. So we're both cat owners to
just so you all know, we love cats and dogs
and all animals for that matter. But you ever rearrange
something and the cat, who's the first to notice it?
Not you, your husband? The kids are the cat, Oh
totally second something. The cats are investle investigators.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Oh yeah, and they whatever clean however, clean your pillow
is when you put it on your couch or your couches,
when you've made it look so pretty, forget it, it's
going minutes, it's they struggle in it. They burrow in it.
And yeah, you know, cat lovers, we do not own

(27:25):
our homes. They do. They merely dwellers.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, you we invite you to send us cat memes.
We accept all cat memes and Katie at all hours
from me.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Look at this one.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
And your husband does it to you too, cat photos,
you get it from both of us. So funny, all right.
So our topic for today is adapting to new circumstances,
so change hand handling, changes in job, location, lifestyle, and
so forth. And we thought we would make like three
or four points here. Does that that work? What do

(28:01):
you think? What should we how should we do this?
So we I think in format too forever.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
I think. The first thing we came up with R
E A L, which is for action steps with every change,
and R is reflect. You know, really any change that happens,
and changes are not just big changes. Change occurs when
you go out to get in your car and then

(28:29):
the engine doesn't start. Yeah, what do you do? So
the first thing is you have to reflect. You have
to figure out, well, what's my first step? What's most important?
So has that happened to you, Elizabeth? Where you go
out and your car doesn't start?

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah? Many times, which is why we lease. Now. Yeah,
you have that happen enough times you're like, this is annoying.
I hate I need to stuff, but no what I
do with that? So anytime I have something that completely
and unexpect happens, I try to personally implement gratitude and
go all gratitude on it if I can. So I'm

(29:07):
a person who's been resuscitated twice twice from life threatening
food allergies.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
So I have this.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yes, I've done gratitude lists and gratitude this and gratitude that,
but I like to put gratitude on autopilot so it
becomes like a just a way that you are. So
you see something like that happen and you go instead
of like, oh I have to or oh that happened,
I flip it and go Okay, I get to like, Okay,
I've got a car out there. It might not be
perfect right now, but hey, you know it's like pulling

(29:36):
up in your used car to a Tesla that's one
hundred thousand dollars. You know you've got a car. Be
grateful you got a car, or you have a bike
and you're walking or whatever. To be grateful. I go
all grateful all the way back to breath.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Right, Yeah, me too, And I think that that is
really important that you take that deep breath so that
you don't get caught up in the oh crap this happened,
but you stay in the place of Okay, I am
grateful that I can do this. I have a mechanic

(30:10):
I can call this, I can call this friend. We
actually had a guy who ran out of gas right
in front of our house last week and somebody from
the neighborhood came out and we helped him. We got
him all set up, and he kept saying, I'm so thankful,
thank you, thank you, thank you, and he and it
reminded me that you know, it doesn't matter what it is,

(30:32):
but if you're grateful and you reach out for help,
be grateful for that help.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah. Now here's a question for you. And sometimes I
noodle on this back and forth. I think, you know,
am I rationalizing or do I have good perspective on this?

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Ah? Yes? Good, good point. That's the difference between reacting
and responding because we initially respond or react from our
place of fear or discomfort, like you, because that's our
fight or flight, that's our nature yea. And our brain
is examining what the threat is, level of threat, So

(31:12):
your first response is going to be reaction. But that's
when you take a deep breath and you go, Okay,
I've done that. Now I have to respond rationally, so
really reflect on gratitude and what my next step is,
what is most important, most important? I have to get
my kid to school, I have to get to work.

(31:34):
I have to get to grocery store. What is most important?
That's what you do first is you are you real?
You keep it real? What is most important?

Speaker 1 (31:45):
What used to give me a lot of anxiety was
when everything felt important all at once, all twenty five
things had the same level of ah priority and no
ability to you know, fifty five. I think I'm better
at it now that I was saying, like in my twenties,
no ability to decide. I wouldn't say no ability. I
had ability, but you know what I mean, no great

(32:06):
ability to decide what was more important? And it all
felt like, you know, the sky's falling or urgent or whatever.
Is there a really good way to help people figure
out what the perspective is or what the priority is,
because my perspective might be different because it's kind of
like a life or death thing. So I tend to

(32:28):
go well, bleeding, life or death, breathing, you know, think
you know, the health things keep my perspective in a
different realm. And I don't know if people do that
or not, or if that's even a good thing to do,
but that's what I do.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
You know, I I absolutely can relate to that. And
I think that some people forget that our mind, our body,
our spirit, and our emotions are all connected and they
give us equal messages. So listen to your body. Ask
your body what is most important and listen to the answers.

(33:03):
If you're all anxious when you think about I got
to get my kids to school, well there's your answer.
That's my number one. And listen and list what's most important.
You'll know your body will tell you. Your body will tell you,
and your emotions will tell you because you'll get the
most anxious about what it is you need to do

(33:24):
the first and listen to that. But take that time
to make your list of what's most important and in
this situation and five seconds is not going to matter.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Yeah, So as we explore different ways that we can
improve our life. I love the post that you did
in social media over the weekend on Instagram. Katie's on Instagram. Everybody,
you're kind of newer there. Your posts are all really awesome.
So if people haven't seen Katie on Instagram, Katie is
now on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
But it was.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
About self care, self health, compassion. Because when you're when
you were talking just now, I'm like you know what
came up.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
For me, the kids.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I was like, you know, I'll drop everything to help
one of the kids or somebody else's kids or whatever
it is. You know, the neighbor's car broke down, the
kids need to go to school. I'm on it, you
know with kids. Boy, you know, I'll forgo a shower,
eating myself, you know everything. And but when you when
you're like that or you do that, sometimes you go, okay,

(34:29):
hang on, I need to take care of me, and
we forget that, right.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
And that's where that E comes in. Of real E
is explore and exploring options means including you first. You
got to put your oxygen mask on first. We've all
heard that, right, how many times I remember when Calli
was young and we would go on vacation, I would
inevitably have everything for her and forget something for my right,

(35:01):
just inevitable and giving to ourselves is always second. When
we're a mom, or we're a parent, or we're in
our work life. Sometimes put yourself first so that you
have your oxygen mask on to help the others, especially
when you're going through a change, a significant change, especially

(35:21):
take that deep breath, do that reflection. What's most important
and then explore options, which includes taking care of you first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Absolutely. That was really hard for my mom to do
when my dad was sick for so long. Like, if
we have people who are listening to us, who are
in caregiver roles, that is tough stuff to implement self
care and take care of yourself while you're taking somebody
who is ill. That can be you know, sometimes even

(35:52):
exhausting to the caregiver. I remember there was a really
tricky day with my dad in the hospital and they
were going to take them off the ventilator that and
they were having trouble doing that, and so my mom
and I were like, okay, this is not going well.
My mom was crying and I'm like, okay, listen, we're
going to leave.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
Like I can't leave. I'm like, yes, we can. We're leaving.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
And the good soul who decided to put the coals
across from.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
The hospital, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Thank god, you know, like, yeah, genius move on your part.
Because I took her over there and she's like, I
don't want to go to coals. I'm like, guess what
we're going in and she, you know, she definitely wasn't
herself because she she is a human. You can gauge
my mom and if she's shopping, you know kind of thing.
It's like you you have certain things you can gauge
if you eat that, or shop or do whatever. You

(36:38):
can gauge her mood by shopping. So I could tell
she was pretty miserable. But anyway, it was kind of
like forced fun. But she ended up picking out a
couple of sweaters. We went back into the parking lot
and I took her sweater and I like wrapped it
around her shoulders like in cape form, like superhero capes,
and I put one her online.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
I'm like, we're going back in.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
She's like, oh, that's what this, you know. I'm like, yeah,
if it could say mom is awesome across the back,
it would because it was really tough. And at that point,
you know, he had been a stroke s urrivor for years,
so this was like a huge setback in the in
the stroke survival mode. But yeah, terrible moments like that

(37:16):
where you're you know. And the reason why I bring
that up is because there's so many different levels of
self care.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
Yes, yes, sometimes it's just getting up in the morning.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yeah, sometimes it's the bathroom need or the book you
need to read or the.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Something you need to eat.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
But for so many people, I just didn't want to
sound like we're not addressing people who really have or
you know, don't feel good, or have issues, or have
their own health challenges, whatever it is. It's just sometimes
not that simple.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Now it's never yes, and there's all levels of self care.
But it starts with you asking yourself, what do I need?
But actually it starts with something before that. It starts
giving yourself permission to ask the question. And caregivers are
notorious for not asking the question because they don't feel

(38:10):
like they deserve it. Why is that, you know? It's
part of the protection. I call it the protection dynamic.
I wrote once wrote a paper about this, and I
called it the conspiracy of protection because I worked with
dying children and their families. So what I saw over
and over and over is that the kids would protect

(38:32):
their parents, the parents would protect the kids, The caregivers
would protect the parents and the kids and their turf
and their work and themselves, and so they are all
these people trying to protect themselves and others. Well, if
everybody just takes a deep breath and says okay, I'm
going to take care of my needs so that I

(38:53):
can take care of them. That's what works because otherwise
we project our stuff off onto other people. Our communication
gets gets rattled, we get reactive, we get angry, we
get frustrated, and we take it out on each other
instead of calmly and lovingly supporting one another. So when

(39:14):
we're going through change, it's really important you put that
oxygen mask on first.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, and we're always going through change, so keep your
oxygen mask on. But you know, these could be things
like date night. Oh yeah, right, So put it in
a real like real life scenarios for people, like what
are the things that help us put our oxygen mask on?
Like let's say, parenting, marriage, jobs? What are those things?

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Well, first of all, how many times do people ever
ask themselves what do they need? Or what do they want?
And I differentiate between those two things. A need is
something I need to survive, something I ask absolutely need
for my wellness well being. But a want is I

(40:02):
want purple curtains. Okay, I want you know, I want
a nice rug, I want whatever. It's negotiable. That's where
I get in trouble. Yeah, it's negotiable and it can
be negotiable. It's not a need, it's a want. And
in your conversations, when you start with asking yourself the
needs and the wants, that helps because you got to

(40:24):
negotiate and cooperate and collaborate on the wants and the needs.
You need to be really clear and defining it and
telling people exactly what it is you need starting there
is hugely important and people don't do that. And number one,
people need to teach that to their kids. When kids

(40:48):
deal with change, when kids deal with disappointment, when kids
deal with transfer and transformation and transitions, they need the
same kind of help. They need to be taught what
their needs are and what they're wants are and to
ask for them.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Yeah. You know, I think sometimes too that you might like,
I love how life graces sometimes in really unexpected ways
with other people, because sometimes somebody will see something that
they think that you need or want and you don't
even realize it yet. They see something in you, or
see something that might fill one of your gaps, or

(41:27):
something that you just might love, like this necklace. You know,
just things that things that that bring you peace, joy,
love and so forth, And they don't even come from
that place of like I need this or I want that,
or just kind of come sorn in out of the
blue and you're not expecting it. That's kind of Those
are kind of cool moments.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
They are and and it really is wonderful. I one
of the things I love in my work is helping
people in that first phase of what I call recreate,
where they're giving themselves permission to vision. I want this,
I need this, I wish I could wake up. I
have people do a letter to themselves where they define

(42:11):
their ideal day, and just the act of doing that
is huge for so many people because they aren't used
to even asking the question, yeah, they just get up.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
And go, yeah. You know what made me think about
our vision statements that we do in coaching that we
just did. You know, if you're listening and you are like, ooh,
this all sounds pretty interesting, either the letter to yourself
or what we call vision statements. Give us a call
and we'll work with you for a few hours and
help you craft a vision statement for your life. It
is the coolest process. It is just so much fun.

(42:47):
And we do, like I'll do a new vision statement
maybe every six months. Sometimes people do them quarterly. Sometimes
people do them early, but it's something that you can
listen to or read that just kind of keeps in
mind what your goals are, what your dreams, or what
your what your vision for your life.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Is absolutely and and it changes all the time, and
certain things come to the top, and certain things get
become less important, and then when unexpected change happens, it
alters everything. And it's it's like a chessboard that gets
thrown up in the air, you know, all the pieces
fall different places. So so yes, I think visioning is

(43:27):
so important because you manifest from your vision.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
So we're keeping it real. We talked, so the R
was reflect and the E is explore.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
The A is awareness. If you start writing things down
about what you need, what you want, what your vision
is during a change, then you've got to stay aware.
I call it a wake, aware and alert to what's
happening around you, who's coming into your life, what opportunities

(44:01):
are there that might help you move forward in this area.
If your change is you know, I want to be
a better mom, okay, then you're going to become aware
of the ways that your child reacts to you. If
you're wanting to be a better mom and you're a
better parent, then you're going to look for articles about

(44:21):
how to parent and stay awake and alert for opportunities
that come your way. Maybe you get to volunteer, Maybe
something comes along that you can volunteer in your child's classroom,
whatever occurs when you put it out into the world
that this is something that's important to you. Opportunities come,
but you've got to see them coming, and you can't

(44:43):
ignore them when they do. You've got to stay awake,
aware an alert to what comes your way.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
So sometimes you'll see that people make fun of the
self help industry. Oh you call it woo woo or
woke or what all of these things they poo poo
the self help industry a little bit, Can you talk
about that and what self help means, what awake, awake, aware,

(45:12):
an alert really like means in practical, real life terms,
in case people get scared off of like self help
and the genre of self help, because.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah, well reality is now, folks. Research is showing us
that self help is no longer just fluff, but it's
real and it's evidence based. It is evidence based. Your
brain operates that way where you put your intention and
your attention is what happens why, because your brain processes it.

(45:45):
Your brain is saying, oh, okay, that's something she's made important.
So when it comes up, I'm going to focus on it,
and then that happens. I mean, there is so much
research that evidence based manifestation. It is no longer just
something we think about. And it's not just if you

(46:07):
think it it'll happen. Your brain operates that way. Your
brain chemistry actually changes and alters when you focus on
something for a period of time. So if you focus
on something negative, hate to break it to you, your
brain is going to operate on it. But if you
focus on something positive, it's also going to operate on it.

(46:29):
But remaining awake and aware alert is my language for saying,
pay attention because your brains you've already sent the message
to your brain, it's going to look for it.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
Yeah, I'm adding alignment to your a's by the way,
awake and aligned. And you know we talk about this
all the time. Your heart, your truth, and your energy,
and that's it's basically what you just said to you know,
you're thinking of something, you know, you align your heart
to your authentic you, and you're going to go where
you place your energy, like you were just saying, So
it's actions, it's all these things. It's not sitting here

(47:03):
and thinking, oh, this is going to happen and never
taking an action for it to happen. You've got to
really do things right do. You have to have the
follow through and so forth most of the time anyway,
for it's like.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Your business, it's like your business plan. You're not going
to navigate. You're not going to manifest a new business
if you don't have a business plan. You've got to
be clear on your steps. But then when you've clarified
those steps, pay attention because when something happens. There's this
really great Buddhist metaphor or Buddhists story about, you know,

(47:41):
the guy who's falling off the cliff and God sends
a ship that he could jump down, our boat that
he could jump into, sends a helicopter that could I mean,
all these different things, and he completely ignores all those
things because he's waiting for somebody to just lift him up.

(48:01):
And then he gets to heaven and God goes, well, geez,
you know you miss this, this, this, and this that
I sent you. So it's that idea that don't miss
those opportunities. They come every day.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, beyond alert, and they might I always say this too.
It might be something that you didn't expect, like in
your plan, but it might be something even better than
your plan. Right while you're planning, amazing things happen that
are different, and so you might be planning for X,
Y and Z and have this happen and it might

(48:36):
be ten times cooler than X, Y and Z.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Absolutely, I like life is what happens when you're doing
other things.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Yeah, yeah, it's a good one. Yeah, okay, oh yeah,
oh that's true. All here's the favorite one, right yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Love love yourself, Love yourself, right, what does that mean?
I don't mean the fluffy stuff. I mean you take
care yourself. You wake up every morning believing in yourself
as a valuable human being. I always say that we
don't we teach kids, especially how to be how to

(49:15):
value themselves with what they do instead of who they are.
And we all need to value ourselves for just being here,
just being here, and everybody on this planet has an
opportunity to help someone else every single day. We're all important,
We're all equally important, and valuing yourself is valuing others,

(49:38):
because again, you've got to love yourself to love others.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, what if I'm listening right now and I've been
guilty of this at moments and still am. You know,
I forget my value, and I forget my self love,
and I forget my self worth and I go all
down on myself. I'm a master in moments, past, present,
and probably future being myself up. I've had moments having
four kids where I've stood in the mirror and said, oh,

(50:02):
I'm so heavy, and I'm like, whoa wait a minute.
This body has given birth to four humans, you know,
and we don't seem to like value that, like there's
no metal coming your way for giving birth to four humans. Instead,
you get compared in social media at fifty five to

(50:23):
twenty year old who hasn't had kids or the you know,
whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
There's so much stuff.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
There's there's this one gal in Instagram who is barren
at all stretch marks, like there they are, there, you are,
They're perfect sports illustrated swimsuit body that has had children
and so forth, and we just I go all out
on that with moms and so forth. But body, we

(50:49):
are so body hating and it's like it's time to
be body loving, not body hating. And I think so
much noise in our heads starts right there with body hating.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yep, I yeah, I really do. And I come from
the place of having had infertility issues and boy talk
about hating yourself. Yeah, feeling inadequate because the world tells
you six ways to Sunday that if you don't have
a baby, well you're not You're worthless and you can't

(51:24):
there's something wrong with you. So I went through a
lot of body shaming, body hating for years, years, years
and years and years and years, and finally I was
figuring it out. One day. I was like, you know,
we do a lot of evaluating each other instead of
valuing each other.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Right.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I started writing about that and in my book I
talk about that my journey and of learning to value.
And I learned it from watching these dying kids and
I thought, my goodness, look what they're doing, Look how
they're doing, how they were contributing to the world, and
they're dying and they can't speak, they can't move, And

(52:09):
so they really inspired me to see things so differently
around evaluation. Everybody needs to stop evaluating yourself and.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Other people and hiring and things. I remember what So
I was so happy as missus me in two thousand
and six. So again, this is a billion years ago now,
you know, in fifty five. That was two thousand and
six and so happy. It was the probably the thinnest
I'd ever been since having kids and things like that.
For sure. I was working out, I was doing everything.

(52:40):
It all came to a screeching halt one day after
the national pageant had happened and everything. There was a
forum dedicated to how chubby I was and how big
my thighs were. End quote, have another cookie, because I
was baking chocolate chip cookies for kids and doing story
times in the schools all throughout me. Just this giant
rip on me, and I'm like, it halted me for

(53:03):
a solid six or eight weeks, tears, the whole bit,
self hatred everything. I'm like, I just had this amazing
experience and then I let that get in my head
and I'm like, wow, but who does that? Who takes
who goes into a I don't know if these forms
even exist, but who does that?

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Well? You know, sad people their own life that they
haven't dealt with. That is creating layer and layer and
layer of pain, and they just aren't able to deal
with their own pain, so they inflict it on others.
And what's so sad to me is, you know it's
one of our reasons we want to do the percly

(53:41):
one hundred a million people. Yeah, because just think of
all the energy that if it had been turned around
into all the good charity work you do with those cookies,
that you bring those cookies to good places, You nurture
people with those cookies. I think if anyone had taken

(54:02):
the same amount of energy in the negativity and put
it towards positive. And he cried, wow, hundreds of kids
would have gotten cookies. Yeah, nothing for the cookies. Yeah,
you know what got me back on track? So I
was really down.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
I'm like, I halted making cookies for a while. I
made like a hundred dozen cookies so far. I'm back
making cookies and things like that. But in this moment
what halted you know, it halted me.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
And I got this phone.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Call out of the blue and she said, look, can
I stop by your house and pick up a dozen cookies?
I need them? I said, I hesitated for a moment,
and I'm like, okay, this is an adult. They seem nice,
you know kind of thing. I'm like, sure, I'll have
them study. Blah blah blah blah blah. She came, she
picked up the cookies, and I didn't really think much
of it. She said thank you and all this stuff.

(54:48):
And I get this message back, probably about two weeks later,
and it's this handwritten note in my mailbox, and it's
from a cancer patient, Dana Farber. She had taken in
the cookies from Maine to Boston to the waiting room
of the children that were waiting for their parents who

(55:09):
were having their their chemotherapy and so forth. She had
stayed four colon cancer and she since passed, but she
wrote me a note and it blows me away. She
wrote me a note about how grateful she was in
that moment that her kids had happiness in cookies. And
I'm like, you got to be kidding them, yep.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
And that's what I'm talking about when I'm awake, aware,
alert as you were awake and aware when that woman
showed up and you gave her those cookies. Because your
intention is always to percolate the piece. Yes goodness, So
if everybody on this pod listening to this podcast makes

(55:49):
it their intention to percolate piece. Then whenever anything happens,
they'll look for those opportunities that come to bring more
compassion to the world.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
God, that's what we all need to be doing.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
I find this. I'm going to try and find it
really fast. Keep talking for a second. I actually put
the the thank you notes in the other room. I'm
not gonna be able to find it fast enough, as
I said it, but.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
I put it.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
I put the actual thank you note in the Success guidebook.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
I retyped it and stuff like that into the book
because it just was a moment where I'm like, this
is why I do this, this is why I do this.
This is why I do this exactly. Know. I never
know who's going to have a cookie, yeah, you know,
and I've had I've had messages from Robin Williams before
with those cookies because I made him for eight twenty

(56:40):
six Valencia and not knowing that Robin Williams was going
to be there, and he's like, these are great, and
I crumbled him up and put them on ice cream
right now, it's adorable. Just percolate piece, percolate piece for me.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
They just do. Now, you got to make some gluten
free though.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Yeah, I know I could have I put off. That's
my younger sister. My younger sister, Alex does everything gluten
free because gluten really makes her sick. I don't see
what chocolate chip cookie recipes she has for for gluten free.
But okay, so we're about it at an hour. Wow. Right,
promised not to keep people too long, but I do

(57:19):
I think we decided that we were going to leave
people with some action steps.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Maybe yes, yes, we just want to remind you to
keep it real. We reflect, We want you to explore.
We want you to stay awake and alert and aware,
and then we want you to love. We really really
want you to spread love, commit love, compassion and energy

(57:46):
that sends into the world peacefulness, because that's what we
all want. And ton't waste your energy on negativity in
the world. Right now, God, we got enough of it?

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Yeah, positive? Did you like the journal prompts? Should we
send people with a couple of journal prompts?

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Do you want to do? Sure?

Speaker 1 (58:08):
You want to do some writing? I know, I th
we were just so you know, here's the real life.
Behind the scenes, we were kind of producing the show
slightly behind the scenes with just like just some general
guidelines of what we wanted to talk about and so forth.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
So we didn't get on here and ramble.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Too much, right because I ramble, Katie does not I do,
so I need to be kept in check. But the
journal prompts that we had were like, what do you
need to change?

Speaker 2 (58:31):
And why?

Speaker 1 (58:32):
And what has changed? And how are you doing? Do
you have any other journal prompts you want to add
in there?

Speaker 2 (58:38):
That's making you most uncomfortable about change? What are you
most afraid of?

Speaker 1 (58:45):
Yeah, that's really good. Before we go here talk about
change and loss and fear.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Oh yeah, that's everybody.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
I love this, everybody listen.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
But there's almost always a loss related to any change.
And the way that you discover that is ask yourself
the question, what am I most afraid of in this change?
What is making me the most uncomfortable? What do I
not want to have happen the most? It's your loss,

(59:17):
because in the change, you've lost something and perfect example
and loss is not always concrete. It's sometimes it's sometimes intangible.
I call it intangible. Sometimes it's a loss of security,
loss of a sense of stability, loss of a sense

(59:37):
of confidence. We talked about that with the keys. So
ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What's uncomfortable? There's
your loss, and choose to take that loss, learn from it,
explore new ideas, and make yourself better. And we've got
tools to help you do that. Is that like, so

(01:00:00):
help me with this.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
So I'll frequently say to groups of people, Okay, you
know what's known, like you got it, you got and
even then it might not all be clear, but for
the most part, here's what's known. But when you make
a change, you are looking out forward, and that might
give you anxiety or whatever it is, because there's just
so much that you that you don't know. So people
are afraid and they stay right here. People are afraid

(01:00:23):
to go over here because they don't know, and all
that all in between.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
That is fhear. A lot of it is comfort. Yeah,
it's discomfort because we don't have a plan. So I
help people understand that change is transition. It doesn't always
have to be figured out right away. It's pieces, it's
transitioned towards the change. Make choices every day to make better,

(01:00:51):
better choices, better choices, better choices. One of my favorite
sayings is make today better than yesterday. But that's only
how happens when you allow yourself the time to figure
out what it is you need to cope with the change.
So it doesn't have to be I have this all
figured out, of course.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
But that's what's scary to people when they don't have
anything that's your clue. Right, Like when you're here, you're like, oh,
I want to like we both moved across the country before. Really,
oh yeah, we're right here, going you're going to move
across the country and you're like going, oh, what's going
to happen?

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Right? But management and project management, you look at the
endgame and you go backwards to what you need to
do now. But you have a plan. You can have
a plan. You can figure it out. But take a
deep breath, baby steps one at a time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Yeah, I love it all right, So it is time
to go. But it has been fun being real and
being real with everybody here, keeping it real, real life.
Any closing, closing ideas or anything you want to say
before you know, it's.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Like anything, This is only going to be as successful
as you telling us what you need. So tell us
what you need, tell us what you think what do
we need to change. We're just starting out. Give let's
be real, tell us, tell us what you want.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
They got everything but the kitchen sink today and even
that is here. Okay, We're going to end this with
just our websites, like we promised. So for mine, you
can go to Elizabethgarino dot com. That's g U A
R I N O dot com. Were Best ever You
dot com is a place where you can find actually
both of us there. We do a lot together on

(01:02:38):
Best Ever You dot com. This podcast will go YouTube,
it'll go iHeartRadio, It'll go where podcasts are and up
onto the website and so forth. And then, Katie, do
you want to say where your websites are?

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Or My website is doctor Katieastman dot com. And I
also am on social media, as Elizabeth mentioned, and just
look up doctor Katie Eastman. You can find me a
bunch of different places. And I'd love to hear from you,
and I'd love to support you. I have a number
of ways that I can do that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Yeah, and then I have one more thing, a call
to action for us personally. We are both authors, and
you know our goals are are lofty with our books
to get to find readers and reviews and so forth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
It's not always that easy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
It's very noisy out there with so many people writing
books and publishing books on Amazon now and so forth.
So we do have four books between us. We're going
to hold them up one more time, and we hope
that you will go to Amazon or to book Barnes
and Noble or Books a Million and support us. They
are in two of mine are an audiobook. All of
our books are in ebook, and all of us our

(01:03:48):
books are in paperback, and Katie's one is in hardcover.
Even so, Katie, hold up your beautiful book Uplifting. That
is amazing. So that's Uplifting by doctor Katie Eastman. And
then to get the other, we have Percolate, which is
our hay House book, So it's Percolate. Let your best
self filter through. Sometimes you have to search percolate book

(01:04:09):
or all sorts of coffee percolators come up.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
I learned that if you just type in percolate.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Coffee makers come up, so Percolate book if you're searching
that one. And then there's the Change Guidebook, which won
the International Book Award for Nonfiction, and then the new
one is the success guidebook which helps us redefine success.
So Katie, we hold up, lifting up one more time. Sure,
So I love this. Guess who's on the cover of

(01:04:35):
this everybody, just a little bit of note here. This
is my daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
This is the way that my story about transforming my
loss of infertility into growth was manifesting, my beautiful adopted daughter.
And she is dancing during COVID on a cliff. Because
they weren't able to dance in person, it went out

(01:05:00):
on a cliff and they danced in the sunset. And
that is truly what we mean by percolating peace.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Beautiful all right, everybody, thank you so much for being
with us, and we will see you next time. Thank
you all for your support, Take care, goodbye bye,