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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter ten of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter ten
Cannon Sprat was dispirited certain words which Lady Sophia had
used in a discussion upon Winnie's engagement. Dwelt in his
mind with discomfiting persistence. The deliberate fashion with which she
(00:22):
spoke gave a peculiar authority to her sayings, and though
he roundly scoffed at them, the canon could not help
the feeling of uneasiness they left behind. After all, you
can say what you like, Theodore, but in point of fact,
we belong to just the same class as Bertram Railing.
Are you sure that Winnie is not merely sinking to
(00:42):
our proper level. It's a tendency with families like ours
that have come up in the world, and with most
of us to keep up. Our nobility is just swimming
against the stream. You're mixing your metaphors, Sophia, and I
haven't an idea what you mean. Well, in our heart
of hearts, we're bourgeois. We're desperately bourgeois. But I suspect
(01:04):
it's just the same with others as it is with us.
In the last fifty years, so many tinkers, tailors, and
spectacle makers have pitchforked themselves into the upper classes, and
very few of them are quite at home. Some are
continually on the alert to uphold their dignity, trying to
hide by the stupid pretentiousness of a bogus genealogy in
(01:25):
burke the grandfather who was a country attorney, or a
plate layer or a groom. Some with the energy still
in them, of all those ancestors who were honest shopkeepers
or artisans, throw themselves from sheer boredom into every kind
of dissipation. You talk like a radical tup thumper, said
cannon Sprat with disdain. Lady Sophia shrugged her shoulders. And
(01:49):
after all, however much they struggle, the majority, sooner or
later sink back into the ranks of the middle classes.
And once there, with what a comfortable ease they wallow
bacilis desensus averni, he murmured, Lord stonehenge can make earldoms
and baronies galore, But what's the good when the instincts
(02:09):
of these new noblemen, their habits and virtues and vices
are bourgeois To the very marrow. Lady Sophia looked at
her brother for an indignant denial of these statements, but
to her surprise, he answered nothing. He was very thoughtful.
Don't you know shoals of them? She said? Young men
who would make quite passable doctors are fairly honest lawyers,
(02:32):
and who wear their hereditary honors like clothes several sizes
too large for them. They meander through life aimlessly, like
fish out of water. Look at Sir Peter Mason, whose
father was president of some medical body at the Jubilee
and managed with difficulty to scrape up the needful thirty
thousand pounds to accept a baronetcy. Peter was then a
(02:53):
medical student whose ambition it was to buy a little
practice in the country and marry his cousin Bertha. Well,
now he's a baronet, and Bertha thinks it bad form
that he should drive about in a dogcart to see
patients at five shillings a visit. So they live in
Essex because it's cheap, and try to keep up their
dignity on a thousand a year, and they're desperately bored.
(03:16):
Have you never met rather dowdy girls who've spent their
lives in Bay's Water or in some small dull terrace
at South Kensington, till their father in the seesaw of politics,
was made a peer. How clumsily they bear their two
penny titles, how self consciously, and with what relief they
marry some obscure young man in the city. Cannon Spratt
(03:38):
looked at his sister for a moment, and when he answered,
it was only by a visible effort that his voice
remained firm. Sophia, if Winnie marries beneath her, it will
break my heart. Yes, you're the other sort of nouvelle noblesse, Theodore.
You're the sort that's always struggling to get on equal
terms with the old Sothia. So thea what do you suppose,
(04:02):
Lady Roxham said when Harry told her he wanted to
marry Winnie. She's a charming woman and she has a
deeply religious spirit. Sophia, Yes, but all the same, I
have an idea that she raised those thin eyebrows of hers,
and in that quiet, meek voice asked Winnie Sprat, Harry,
do you think the Sprats are quite up to your form?
(04:23):
I should think it extremely snobbish if she said anything
of the sort, retorted the Canon with all his old fire.
The conversation dropped, but he could not help it if
some of these observations rankled. Lionel On, whom depended the
future of the stock, proposed to marry a brewer's daughter,
and Winnie was positively engaged to a man of no family.
(04:45):
It looked, indeed, as though his children were sinking back
into the ranks, whence, with so much trouble his father
had emerged. Nor did the second Earl conceal his scorn
for the family honors his coronet with the strawberry leaves
and the lifted pearls, he kicked hither and thither verbally
like a football, and the ermine cloak was a scarlet rag,
(05:06):
which never ceased to excite his derision. I'm the only
member of the family who has a proper sense of
his dignity, sighed the Cannon. But when he heard that Winnie,
on her return from peckham Rye, had gone to her
room with a headache, he chased away these gloomy thoughts.
Even paternal affection could not prevent him from rubbing his
hands with satisfaction. I thought she wouldn't be very well
(05:30):
after a visit to mister Rayling's mamma, he said. When
she entered the drawing room, he went towards her with
outstretched hands. Ah my love, I see you've returned safely
from the wilds of Peckham. I hope you encountered no
savage beasts in those unfrequented parts. Winnie, with a little
groan of exhaustion, sank into a chair. Her head was
(05:52):
aching still, and her eyes were red with many tears.
Cannon Sprat assumed his most affable manner. His voice was
am marble of kindly solicitude, and only in a note
here and there was perceptible a suspicion of banter. I
hope you enjoyed yourself, my pet. You know the only
wish I have in the world is to make you happy.
(06:13):
And did your prospective mother in law take you to
her capacious bosom? She was very kind, father, I imagine
that she was not exactly polished. I didn't expect her
to be, answered Winnie in so dejected a tone that
it would have melted the heart of any one less
inflexible than Theodore Sprat. But I suppose you didn't really
(06:34):
mind that much. Did you true disinterestedness in such a
beautiful thing and in this world alas so rare? A
sudden defiant look came into Winnie's face. I mean to
marry Bertram in spite of everything, Papa, my darling, whoever
suggested that you shouldn't. By the way, do you call
him Bertie? Yes? They call him Bertie. I thought they would.
(06:58):
Answered the canon with the triumphant air of a man
who has found some important hypothesis verified by fact. And
Missus Rayling's husband, I think you said, was connected with
the sea. He was first made on a collier. Oh yes,
and does she smack of the briny or does she
smack of peckham Rye. The cannon burst into song facetiously
(07:20):
with a seaman's roll hoisting his slacks. His singing voice
was melodious and full of spirit. For I'm no sailor bold,
and I've never been upon the sea, and if I
fall therein it's a fact I couldn't swim and quickly
at the bottom I should be. He threw back his head, gaily,
my dear, how uncommunicative you are, and I'm dying with curiosity.
(07:44):
Tell me all about missus Rayling. Hless, I presume, Oh Papa,
how can you? How can you? Cried Winnie, hardly keeping
back the tears. My dear, I have no doubt they
are rough diamonds. But you mustn't be disc urged at that.
You must make the best of things. Remember that externals
are not everything. Even in this world. I'm sure the
(08:07):
Railings are thoroughly worthy people. It is doubtless possible to
eat peas with a knife and yet to have an
excellent heart. One of the most saintly women I ever knew,
the old Marquise de Souraine, used invariably to wipe her
knife and fork with a table napkin before eating. His words,
notwithstanding the tone of great tenderness, were bitter stabs and
(08:29):
cannon sprat as he spoke, really could not help admiring
his own cleverness. I should imagine that your fiance was
devoted to his mother and sister. People of that class
always are. You will naturally be a good deal together.
In fact, I think it probable that they will make
you long and frequent visits. One's less desirable relations are
(08:49):
such patterns of affection. They're always talking of the beauty
of a united family. But I am quite sure that
you'll soon accustom yourself to their slight eccentricities of diction,
to their little vulgarities of manner. Remember always that kind
hearts are more than Coronet's, and simple faith than Norman blood.
But Winnie could hold herself in no longer. Oh they
(09:12):
were awful, she cried, putting her hands to her eyes.
What shall I do? What shall I do? Cannon Sprat,
still in the swing of his rhetoric, stood in front
of her. A faint smile was outlined on his lips.
Was this the critical moment when the final blow might
be effectively delivered? Should he suggest that it was the
(09:32):
easiest thing in the world to break off the engagement
with Bertram? He hesitated? After all, there was no need
to take things hurriedly, and providence notoriously sided with discretion
and the large battalions. If Winnie suffered, it was for
her good, and it was a cherished maxim with cannon
Sprat that suffering was salutary, he had said in the
(09:54):
pulpit frequently. He was too clever a man to hesitate
to repeat himself. That the human soul was brought to
its highest perfection only through distress, mental or bodily. Man
is ennobled by pain, he said, looking so handsome, that
it must have been a cynic, indeed, who doubted that
he spoke sense. Our character is refined to pure gold.
(10:16):
The gross lusts of the flesh, the commonness which is
in all of us, the pettiness of spirit, disappear In
these profitable afflictions. From a bed of sickness may spring
the most delicate flowers of unselfishness, of devotion, and of
true saintliness. Do not seek to avoid pain, but accept
it as the surest guide to all that is in you,
(10:37):
of beauty, of heavenliness, and of truth. For his own part,
when forced to visit his dentist for the extraction of
a tooth, he took good care to have gas properly administered.
In the present instance, he looked upon himself as a
surgeon who applies irritation that the ragged edges of an
ulcer may inflame and heal. Possibly, there was also, in
(11:00):
his determination to strike no sudden blow a certain human
weakness from which cannon Sprat often confessed he was not exempt.
He had not the heart to interrupt the scheme which
he had so ingeniously devised. He was like a debater
who has convinced his adversary by the first section of
an argument, but for his own pleasure and in the
(11:20):
interests of truth, duly exposes the rest of his contention.
He sat down at the little writing table which was
in the drawing room, and scribbled a note. He took
out an envelope. By the way, my love, what is
the address of dear missus Rayling. Winnie looked up with astonishment.
What do you want it for? Come, my darling. It's
(11:41):
nothing improper. I hope balmorle Roseberry Garden's Gladstone Road. It
sounds quite aristocratic, he said suavely. Their liberalism is evidently
a family tradition. He fastened the envelope, and blotting it,
rose from the desk. I consider it my dear duty,
to be as cordial as possible to your future relations.
(12:02):
Winnie and I have a natural curiosity to make their acquaintance.
I have asked Missus Rayling to bring her daughter to tea,
and I shall ask your uncle to meet them. Oh, father,
you don't know what they're like, my dear. I don't
expect to find them highly educated. I take it. They
are rough diamonds with hearts of gold. I'm prepared to
(12:23):
like missus Rayling, Papa. Don't ask any one else. She
drinks well. Well, we all have our little failings in
this world, returned the cannon, blandly. He had gone too far.
Winnie gave him a long, keen look, and the old
note of defiance came back to her face. I hope
you don't think I can ever break my engagement with Bertram.
(12:46):
Nothing on earth shall induce me to do that. I've
given him my solemn promise, and I'd sooner die than
break it. The Cannon raised his eyebrows in a very
good imitation of complete amazement. My dear, I have not
the least intention of thwarting you in any way. I
think it wrong and even wicked for a father to
attempt to influence his children's matrimonial choice. Their youth and
(13:09):
inexperience naturally make them so much more capable of judging
for themselves. End of Chapter ten
Chapter ten of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter ten
Cannon Sprat was dispirited certain words which Lady Sophia had
used in a discussion upon Winnie's engagement. Dwelt in his
mind with discomfiting persistence. The deliberate fashion with which she
(00:22):
spoke gave a peculiar authority to her sayings, and though
he roundly scoffed at them, the canon could not help
the feeling of uneasiness they left behind. After all, you
can say what you like, Theodore, but in point of fact,
we belong to just the same class as Bertram Railing.
Are you sure that Winnie is not merely sinking to
(00:42):
our proper level. It's a tendency with families like ours
that have come up in the world, and with most
of us to keep up. Our nobility is just swimming
against the stream. You're mixing your metaphors, Sophia, and I
haven't an idea what you mean. Well, in our heart
of hearts, we're bourgeois. We're desperately bourgeois. But I suspect
(01:04):
it's just the same with others as it is with us.
In the last fifty years, so many tinkers, tailors, and
spectacle makers have pitchforked themselves into the upper classes, and
very few of them are quite at home. Some are
continually on the alert to uphold their dignity, trying to
hide by the stupid pretentiousness of a bogus genealogy in
(01:25):
burke the grandfather who was a country attorney, or a
plate layer or a groom. Some with the energy still
in them, of all those ancestors who were honest shopkeepers
or artisans, throw themselves from sheer boredom into every kind
of dissipation. You talk like a radical tup thumper, said
cannon Sprat with disdain. Lady Sophia shrugged her shoulders. And
(01:49):
after all, however much they struggle, the majority, sooner or
later sink back into the ranks of the middle classes.
And once there, with what a comfortable ease they wallow
bacilis desensus averni, he murmured, Lord stonehenge can make earldoms
and baronies galore, But what's the good when the instincts
(02:09):
of these new noblemen, their habits and virtues and vices
are bourgeois To the very marrow. Lady Sophia looked at
her brother for an indignant denial of these statements, but
to her surprise, he answered nothing. He was very thoughtful.
Don't you know shoals of them? She said? Young men
who would make quite passable doctors are fairly honest lawyers,
(02:32):
and who wear their hereditary honors like clothes several sizes
too large for them. They meander through life aimlessly, like
fish out of water. Look at Sir Peter Mason, whose
father was president of some medical body at the Jubilee
and managed with difficulty to scrape up the needful thirty
thousand pounds to accept a baronetcy. Peter was then a
(02:53):
medical student whose ambition it was to buy a little
practice in the country and marry his cousin Bertha. Well,
now he's a baronet, and Bertha thinks it bad form
that he should drive about in a dogcart to see
patients at five shillings a visit. So they live in
Essex because it's cheap, and try to keep up their
dignity on a thousand a year, and they're desperately bored.
(03:16):
Have you never met rather dowdy girls who've spent their
lives in Bay's Water or in some small dull terrace
at South Kensington, till their father in the seesaw of politics,
was made a peer. How clumsily they bear their two
penny titles, how self consciously, and with what relief they
marry some obscure young man in the city. Cannon Spratt
(03:38):
looked at his sister for a moment, and when he answered,
it was only by a visible effort that his voice
remained firm. Sophia, if Winnie marries beneath her, it will
break my heart. Yes, you're the other sort of nouvelle noblesse, Theodore.
You're the sort that's always struggling to get on equal
terms with the old Sothia. So thea what do you suppose,
(04:02):
Lady Roxham said when Harry told her he wanted to
marry Winnie. She's a charming woman and she has a
deeply religious spirit. Sophia, Yes, but all the same, I
have an idea that she raised those thin eyebrows of hers,
and in that quiet, meek voice asked Winnie Sprat, Harry,
do you think the Sprats are quite up to your form?
(04:23):
I should think it extremely snobbish if she said anything
of the sort, retorted the Canon with all his old fire.
The conversation dropped, but he could not help it if
some of these observations rankled. Lionel On, whom depended the
future of the stock, proposed to marry a brewer's daughter,
and Winnie was positively engaged to a man of no family.
(04:45):
It looked, indeed, as though his children were sinking back
into the ranks, whence, with so much trouble his father
had emerged. Nor did the second Earl conceal his scorn
for the family honors his coronet with the strawberry leaves
and the lifted pearls, he kicked hither and thither verbally
like a football, and the ermine cloak was a scarlet rag,
(05:06):
which never ceased to excite his derision. I'm the only
member of the family who has a proper sense of
his dignity, sighed the Cannon. But when he heard that Winnie,
on her return from peckham Rye, had gone to her
room with a headache, he chased away these gloomy thoughts.
Even paternal affection could not prevent him from rubbing his
hands with satisfaction. I thought she wouldn't be very well
(05:30):
after a visit to mister Rayling's mamma, he said. When
she entered the drawing room, he went towards her with
outstretched hands. Ah my love, I see you've returned safely
from the wilds of Peckham. I hope you encountered no
savage beasts in those unfrequented parts. Winnie, with a little
groan of exhaustion, sank into a chair. Her head was
(05:52):
aching still, and her eyes were red with many tears.
Cannon Sprat assumed his most affable manner. His voice was
am marble of kindly solicitude, and only in a note
here and there was perceptible a suspicion of banter. I
hope you enjoyed yourself, my pet. You know the only
wish I have in the world is to make you happy.
(06:13):
And did your prospective mother in law take you to
her capacious bosom? She was very kind, father, I imagine
that she was not exactly polished. I didn't expect her
to be, answered Winnie in so dejected a tone that
it would have melted the heart of any one less
inflexible than Theodore Sprat. But I suppose you didn't really
(06:34):
mind that much. Did you true disinterestedness in such a
beautiful thing and in this world alas so rare? A
sudden defiant look came into Winnie's face. I mean to
marry Bertram in spite of everything, Papa, my darling, whoever
suggested that you shouldn't. By the way, do you call
him Bertie? Yes? They call him Bertie. I thought they would.
(06:58):
Answered the canon with the triumphant air of a man
who has found some important hypothesis verified by fact. And
Missus Rayling's husband, I think you said, was connected with
the sea. He was first made on a collier. Oh yes,
and does she smack of the briny or does she
smack of peckham Rye. The cannon burst into song facetiously
(07:20):
with a seaman's roll hoisting his slacks. His singing voice
was melodious and full of spirit. For I'm no sailor bold,
and I've never been upon the sea, and if I
fall therein it's a fact I couldn't swim and quickly
at the bottom I should be. He threw back his head, gaily,
my dear, how uncommunicative you are, and I'm dying with curiosity.
(07:44):
Tell me all about missus Rayling. Hless, I presume, Oh Papa,
how can you? How can you? Cried Winnie, hardly keeping
back the tears. My dear, I have no doubt they
are rough diamonds. But you mustn't be disc urged at that.
You must make the best of things. Remember that externals
are not everything. Even in this world. I'm sure the
(08:07):
Railings are thoroughly worthy people. It is doubtless possible to
eat peas with a knife and yet to have an
excellent heart. One of the most saintly women I ever knew,
the old Marquise de Souraine, used invariably to wipe her
knife and fork with a table napkin before eating. His words,
notwithstanding the tone of great tenderness, were bitter stabs and
(08:29):
cannon sprat as he spoke, really could not help admiring
his own cleverness. I should imagine that your fiance was
devoted to his mother and sister. People of that class
always are. You will naturally be a good deal together.
In fact, I think it probable that they will make
you long and frequent visits. One's less desirable relations are
(08:49):
such patterns of affection. They're always talking of the beauty
of a united family. But I am quite sure that
you'll soon accustom yourself to their slight eccentricities of diction,
to their little vulgarities of manner. Remember always that kind
hearts are more than Coronet's, and simple faith than Norman blood.
But Winnie could hold herself in no longer. Oh they
(09:12):
were awful, she cried, putting her hands to her eyes.
What shall I do? What shall I do? Cannon Sprat,
still in the swing of his rhetoric, stood in front
of her. A faint smile was outlined on his lips.
Was this the critical moment when the final blow might
be effectively delivered? Should he suggest that it was the
(09:32):
easiest thing in the world to break off the engagement
with Bertram? He hesitated? After all, there was no need
to take things hurriedly, and providence notoriously sided with discretion
and the large battalions. If Winnie suffered, it was for
her good, and it was a cherished maxim with cannon
Sprat that suffering was salutary, he had said in the
(09:54):
pulpit frequently. He was too clever a man to hesitate
to repeat himself. That the human soul was brought to
its highest perfection only through distress, mental or bodily. Man
is ennobled by pain, he said, looking so handsome, that
it must have been a cynic, indeed, who doubted that
he spoke sense. Our character is refined to pure gold.
(10:16):
The gross lusts of the flesh, the commonness which is
in all of us, the pettiness of spirit, disappear In
these profitable afflictions. From a bed of sickness may spring
the most delicate flowers of unselfishness, of devotion, and of
true saintliness. Do not seek to avoid pain, but accept
it as the surest guide to all that is in you,
(10:37):
of beauty, of heavenliness, and of truth. For his own part,
when forced to visit his dentist for the extraction of
a tooth, he took good care to have gas properly administered.
In the present instance, he looked upon himself as a
surgeon who applies irritation that the ragged edges of an
ulcer may inflame and heal. Possibly, there was also, in
(11:00):
his determination to strike no sudden blow a certain human
weakness from which cannon Sprat often confessed he was not exempt.
He had not the heart to interrupt the scheme which
he had so ingeniously devised. He was like a debater
who has convinced his adversary by the first section of
an argument, but for his own pleasure and in the
(11:20):
interests of truth, duly exposes the rest of his contention.
He sat down at the little writing table which was
in the drawing room, and scribbled a note. He took
out an envelope. By the way, my love, what is
the address of dear missus Rayling. Winnie looked up with astonishment.
What do you want it for? Come, my darling. It's
(11:41):
nothing improper. I hope balmorle Roseberry Garden's Gladstone Road. It
sounds quite aristocratic, he said suavely. Their liberalism is evidently
a family tradition. He fastened the envelope, and blotting it,
rose from the desk. I consider it my dear duty,
to be as cordial as possible to your future relations.
(12:02):
Winnie and I have a natural curiosity to make their acquaintance.
I have asked Missus Rayling to bring her daughter to tea,
and I shall ask your uncle to meet them. Oh, father,
you don't know what they're like, my dear. I don't
expect to find them highly educated. I take it. They
are rough diamonds with hearts of gold. I'm prepared to
(12:23):
like missus Rayling, Papa. Don't ask any one else. She
drinks well. Well, we all have our little failings in
this world, returned the cannon, blandly. He had gone too far.
Winnie gave him a long, keen look, and the old
note of defiance came back to her face. I hope
you don't think I can ever break my engagement with Bertram.
(12:46):
Nothing on earth shall induce me to do that. I've
given him my solemn promise, and I'd sooner die than
break it. The Cannon raised his eyebrows in a very
good imitation of complete amazement. My dear, I have not
the least intention of thwarting you in any way. I
think it wrong and even wicked for a father to
attempt to influence his children's matrimonial choice. Their youth and
(13:09):
inexperience naturally make them so much more capable of judging
for themselves. End of Chapter ten
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