The Bishop's Apron - Chapter 15

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter fifteen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter fifteen.
Missus fitz Herbert had fixed half past eight for the
hour of dinner, but Cannon Sprat, anxious for a few
words before anyone arrived, came early. He found her ready
to receive him. When he entered the drawing room. She

(00:23):
was at the window, looking at the dusk, which clothed
the London street in a certain atmosphere of charming mystery. Well,
he said, looking at her and taking both her hands,
I'm glad you came before the others. I wanted to
have a chat with you. It was cruel of you
to leave London so suddenly. You can't imagine how eagerly

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I've wished to see you. I'm afraid it was inevitable,
she answered. My friend is still very ill, and I
only came up this evening because I didn't want to
put my party off. I was hoping you'd come up
to see me, he smiled. In point of fact, it
was only to see you, she laughed. I would have
postponed the rest of them gaily. But I think we

(01:06):
have a good deal to say to one another. I
feel immensely flattered, he replied. The evening papers contained an
official announcement that doctor Gray was appointed to the Bishopric
of Barchester, but cannon Sprat determined that none should see
his bitter disappointment. He had not yet fought down the
sense of humiliation with which Lord Stonehenge's offer overwhelmed him,

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nor was he reconciled to remaining a London vicar. But
he refused to think of his frustrated hopes. He flattered
himself on his strength of character, and the world should
imagine that he was in the best of spirits. He
meant to keep himself well in hand, and in the
decided effort to let no one see that he cared,
began really to regain his self esteem. I think we

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really ought to talk, seriously, said missus fitz Herbert, after
a pause, fixing her quiet eyes upon him. I wonder
if you meant all that you said to me the
other night. Of course I meant it, every word of
it with all my heart, he cried emphatically. Do you
think I'm a boy not to know my own mind?
And you really look upon yourself as solemnly engaged? To me.

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I do indeed, and before many weeks are up, I
mean to lead you to the altar. We'll have the
bishop to marry us, and Tom shall lend us Beechcomb
for our honeymoon? Or would you prefer Hamburg and the
Italian Lakes? You know I shouldn't be at all annoyed
if you told me you were carried away the other
night and said more than you intended. You're a susceptible man.

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And there's something about a dance that rushes the least
emotional off their feet. I think half the unhappy marriages
are caused by the proposing of young men when they've
come to the end of their small talk, and their
cowardice next day, which prevents them from writing to say
they made a mistake. But it was no sudden whim
on my part, he exclaimed. The idea had been growing

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in my mind for months. Ah, why can't I make
you believe that love may spring up in a man's
heart even though his hair is strewn with silver? I
tell you I'm passionately devoted to you, and I insist
on marrying you. Missus. Fitz Herbert smiled and looked at
him strangely he was very gallant and very eager. She

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wondered if there were ever a word of sincerity in
anything he said. Then let us talk business, she answered.
He threw up his hands in a gesture of disdain.
Why should we you know I'm not mercenary. Let us
pretend that no tiresome matters have to be discussed. We
can leave it all to our solicitors. But it's very important. Nonsense,

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nothing's important except that you're the most charming woman I've
ever seen in my life. I'm a lucky dog to
have got hold of you. We'll never grow any older
than we are now. We'll only grow younger year by year.
When will you make me the happiest man in life?
You go so quickly, she smiled. He put his arm
round her waist and seized her hand. Come give me

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a kiss. She positively blushed when he took it without
more ado upon my soul. You make me feel a
perfect stripling. Shall we say in six weeks? That will
bring us to the end of the season, and I
can safely leave Lionel to preach to a regiment of
empty pews. For heaven's sake, sit down quietly and let

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me get a word in not till you've agreed. I
won't let you go till you've fixed the day. You
shall fix the day yourself, she cried, extricating herself from
his embrace. Cannon Sprat, with a laugh of triumph, threw
himself into a comfortable chair. He was excited and restless.
He knew he had never looked handsomer than at this moment,

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and he would not have changed places with a guardsman
of twenty five. What I wanted to tell you is
that I have an income of five thous thousand a year,
said missus fitz Herbert. I cannot bear these gross and
sort of details, he answered, with a wave of the hand.
Of course, it shall be settled absolutely upon you. What
more is there to be said, only that it ceases

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on the day I marry again. Cannon Sprat started, and
for a moment his face fell all of it. He
asked every penny. My husband was a very generous man,
but he had apparently no desire to provide for the
wants of his successor on my second marriage. Everything I have,

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the very furniture of this house goes to a distant
cousin of his. She watched the cannon for the effect
of this blow, and she could not deny that he
took it admirably. I am very glad, he said, I
much prefer to provide for your wants myself. I shouldn't
like to think you are living on another man's income.

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Do you realize that I shall be so penniless you
will even have to provide the clothes for my back
and my very fare when I take the tube. It
will only make you more precious to me. The doors
were swung open, and the butler announced the first arrivals.
Missus fitz Herbert stepped forward to greet them. Ten minutes
later the whole party was seated round the dinner table.

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Cannon Spratt was filled with consternation. It was true that
he had not sought to marry Missus fitz Herbert for
her money. But on the other hand, the idea would
never have come to him except that he knew she
had a handsome income. It had never entered his head
that she might hold it on such preposterous terms, and
the blow was terrible. The Lord Chancellor had been able

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to leave him nothing. The bulk of his fortune went
of necessity to his successor in the title, and the
rest to Lady Sophia, who announced her determination to lead
a single life. Saint Gregory's was worth a certain amount
in the canonry something more, but this from the depreciation
of land was slowly diminishing. He had always spent every

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penny he earned. His children had three hundred a year each,
but they were to be married and would naturally take
the money with them. Lionel was paid nothing for acting
as his father's curate, but he might soon get a living,
and another expense would ensue. Lady Sophia had contributed a
good deal to the household cost of the vicarage, but

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would of course make her home elsewhere. When the Cannon
brought home a legitimate mistress, he did not see how
on earth he could make both ends meet. Missus fitz Herbert,
far from making up richly, for all he lost, would
be a source of vast expenditure. It would be necessary
to give up the carriage and the horses of which
he was so proud. Every cab that his wife took

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would be a shilling out of his pocket. A little
while before, Cannon Spratt had ventured on a small flutter
in the stock exchange, and the shares were not rising
with the rapidity his broker had promised. This had seemed
a bagatelle, but now grew suddenly into a matter of importance.
The Cannon's heart sank. He looked at missus fitz Herbert,

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and the gown which he had admired on his entrance
appeared very expensive. She had none of the heirs of
an economical woman, and it would be needful to economize.
He loathed the idea of counting each sovereign as he
spent it. He liked the large gesture of generosity, and
had the reputation of a man who spent his money well.

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Now he must be niggardly. But above all he felt sold.
It had been his consolation in the loss of the
bishopric that the widow's large means, added to his own,
would enable him to cut a figure in London. He
proposed to entertain lavishly. He wanted to make Saint Gregory's
vicarage a center of fashion and intelligence, so that his

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name should go down to posterity like Sidney Smith's as
the most brilliant parson of his day. Instead, he was
saddled with a penniless wife. But not one of these
distressing emotions was visible on the Cannon's face during dinner.
He had never needed his self control more. Perhaps he
showed his strength no less admirably than he could have

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done if, according to his ardent wish he had been
in happier days a great minister of state. The party
consisted of eight, which he thought precisely the right number.
It was neither so large that the conversation ceased to
be general, nor so small as to give a good
talker an insufficient audience. Missus fitz Herbert noticed with admiration

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that he had never seemed in better spirits, and took
a vow that, whatever happened, she would certainly remain friendly
with him. He was invaluable at a dinner party. It
was only from an occasional look of weariness, quickly driven
away from a metallic, unusual ring in his laughter, that
she suspected how great was his effort. He made himself

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the center of the table, and he was so vivacious
that none wished to question his supremacy. His stories had
never been better, and he told them with a gusto
that added vastly to their humor. He was never at
a loss for repartee. His sallies and quaint turns kept
the party so well entertained that missus fitz Herbert was radiant.

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She had never given a more successful dinner, and had
the satisfaction of knowing that her guests thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
When they thanked her on leaving, it was with a
sincerity which she knew was unusual on similar occasions. She
felt grateful to canon spread. And now that everyone has gone,
you must sit down and smoke a cigarette and we'll

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have a quiet chat. That's just what I should like.
I've got something to say to you. Have you that's
very odd, because I have too. He seated himself, and
she noticed that, for the first time in their acquaintance,
he was embarrassed. She looked at him with smiling eyes,
but to him they seemed disconcertingly ironic. I think we

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should go back to the conversation we had before dinner,
he said, Would you think it very odd if I
made a suggestion? He waited for a reply, but she
gave none, and he was forced to proceed. There was
no doubt about it. He was growing exceedingly nervous. Well,
I suggested then that we should be married in six weeks.

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I'm afraid it sounds very ungallant if I propose now
that we should wait a little how long, she asked quietly. Oh,
I don't know, perhaps a year, two at the utmost.
You see, I'm not exactly hard up. But he hesitated again,
for once in his life, at a loss for words.

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The fact is, I don't see how we can possibly
marry till I get a bishopric. I'm practically certain to
get one soon. There's no one with half the claims
I have, and I think I can boast of a
certain amount of influence. Two years is a long time
at our age, she smiled, especially for a woman. You know,

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even now, you're ever so much younger in spirit than
I am. I'm afraid that each day will increase the
difference between us, he paused, for the very shortest space
of time. Of course, if you'd rather marry at once,
I shall be only too charmed. It will make me
the happiest of men. It was only on your account
that I hesitated. I'm afraid that you'll have to do

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without a good many of the luxuries that you're used to.
It's very thoughtful of you, she murmured. I'm afraid we
shan't be able to have a carriage. You know, I
adore riding on buses, she answered, with twinkling eyes. One
sits on the front seat and talks to the driver,
And then I'm afraid there'll be no more little trips

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to Hamburg in the summer or to the Riviera in
the winter when all's said and done. Is there any
place in the world so comfortable as London? It's charming
to think that you're so easy, easily satisfied. She watched
him thoughtfully, while he sought to conceal behind a gallant
smile a considerable feeling of dismay. Are you sure you

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wouldn't rather break off altogether our short engagement, she asked. Suddenly,
nothing would induce me, he cried, with the utmost emphasis.
Do you imagine that anything you have said makes you
less precious to me? You cannot think so badly of
me as to suppose that I no longer wish to
marry you because you are not rich. You're an ambitious man,

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and an opulent wife might have been of great use
to you. A poor one can only be a drawback.
You pain me very much, he answered, I confess I
think it would be wise to delay our union, but
it would break my heart to put aside all thought
of it. Oh, I don't think your heart is such
a fragile organ as that. Let us be frank with

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one another. I venture to flatter myself that you did
not want to marry me because of my money. But
it's obvious that a well regulated passion is not diminished
because an attractive widow has five thousand a year. It's
very comprehensible that you shouldn't wish to marry a pauper.
I flatter myself, on the other hand, that I'm by
way of being a gentleman. Shall we say no more

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about it? Shall we forget that you murmured various things
the other night which you didn't quite mean. Missus fitz
Herbert knew that she was very cruel. It was plain
that he wished with all his might to accept his release.
He suffered the torture of Tantalus, for escape lay within
his easy reach, and he had not the effrontery to

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take it. He was a man who lived for the
noble gesture, and he could not bring himself to make
one that was uncommonly prosaic. I assure you, no one
shall know anything about it, she added, I promise you
I will be as silent as the grave. He looked
at her with an indecision that was almost pitiful. If

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I accepted your suggestion, you'd despise me me all your life,
he said. There was something in his tone that made
missus fitz Herbert think she had gone far enough. He
was really suffering this time, and she could not bear
to see it. She went up to him quickly, and smiling,
put her hands on his shoulders. My dear man, do

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you suppose for a moment that I had any intention
of marrying you? Nothing would have induced me to do it.
What do you mean, he cried, I've reached an age
where I can't imagine that it would be worth while
sacrificing five thousand a year for any man. Besides, you're
charming as a friend, but as a husband you'd be

(15:40):
quite insufferable. I wouldn't marry you if I were starving
and you had all the wealth of Gulkunda. Do you
mean to say you've been playing with me all the time.
I'm afraid that is precisely what it comes to. He
drew away from her, and his face took that rather
peevish expression of a spoilt child, which it sometimes had.

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I think it's very cruel of you, he said. Let
us forget all about it. You're perfectly free, and there's
no need whatever for you to marry me. Let us
be friends, and don't flirt any more with widow ladies.
They're dreadfully dangerous. I dare say it's a very good
joke to you, but you've exposed me to the most
awful humiliation. You asked me to be friends, but I

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shall never be able to look you in the face again.
Missus fitz Herbert ceased to smile, and her eyes became
quite grave. Shall I tell you a secret that I've
never divulged to any living soul, she said, Perhaps you'll
understand why I couldn't resist the chance you gave me.
I dare say you've forgotten that five and twenty years

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ago we used to see a great deal of one another.
Perhaps you never knew that I was so desperately in
love with you then that I would have married you
if you hadn't a penny in the world, and I
would have been glad to scrub the floors you walked
on the Cannon started and was about to speak, but
with a little laugh she stopped him. Oh please, don't

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make any observation yet. Even now, it makes me feel
rather silly to speak about it. I dare say you
flirted with a good many other girls as much as
you did with me. But I was foolish enough to
think you cared for me, and I thought you meant
to ask me to marry you. Then you met Dorothy
Frampstone and you married her instead. Well, it's very possible

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that she was much nicer than I, but you mustn't
be surprised if my vanity leads me to think there
were much more solid reasons. I have an idea you
transferred your affections to her, chiefly because she had six
hundred a year while I was penniless, and she was
the daughter of a peer of the realm, while I
was nobody in particular. You do me an injustice, he murmured. Anyhow,

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it doesn't matter. It's all very long ago. The important
thing is that I did love you then. Really, so
if I've made you feel a little ridiculous now, it's
only tit for tete. She held out her hand, smiling,
and he warmly grasped it. You're a wonderful woman, and
I was a fool five and twenty years ago. The

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fates have been against me all along, and now good night,
she laughed. It's growing late, and it's really very compromising
for a lone lorn widow to remain so long on
tete a tete with a fascinating person like yourself. Good Night.
Then he bent down and, with the utmost grace, kissed

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her hand. When he left her, Missus fitz Herbert quietly smiled,
I thank my stars. I am a lone, lorn woman,
and unless I become a perfect lunatic, I'll take care
to remain one. End of chapter fifteen.