The Bishop's Apron - Chapter 16

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter sixteen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter sixteen.
The Cannon passed an unquiet night. The next morning, feeling
in need of fresh air, took a stroll in the park.
The day was very fine, and there was a charming
freshness in the air, which soon brought back his serenity.

(00:24):
He sauntered up the row, looking at the people who
were out already to enjoy the earliness of the day.
After a late night at some gay party, he stopped
now and then to observe the flowers, in which he
took the horticulturist's delight. Cannon Sprat had an amiable weakness
for putting Latin names to the daintiest blossoms of the wayside.

(00:45):
He nodded to one or two friends, and passed the
time of day with a famous politician. The scene had
an air of luxury and of fashionable indifference to the
cares of life, which filled him with satisfaction. Presently he
saw Gwendolen Durrant ride towards him. She looked so well
on horseback that he wondered more than ever why Lionel

(01:06):
could not make up his mind to marry. She stopped
and spoke to him. They exchanged the simple banter, which
serves for wit among the easily pleased, and the cannon
expressed his admiration of her seat. She nodded a farewell
and put her heel to the horse's side. But at
that moment a motor car rushed by at a terrific
speed and gave a series of loud explosions. Gwendolen's horse

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turned round with a sudden leap that almost unseated her,
and was on the point of bolting when the cannon
jumped forward and seized the bridle. It was not a
very dangerous action, but it required some presence of mind,
and he performed it with a breath of gesture that
made it look almost heroic. Thanks so much, said Gwendolen,

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a little out of breath and startled. If you hadn't
been there, he'd have bolted. He's got a mouth like iron,
and he simply pulls my arms out. Are you quite
sure you're saying now? Asked Cannon sprat anxiously. The horse
was still nervous and refused to stand still. He'll probably
bolt with me, but I must risk it, she laughed,

(02:11):
trying to show no concern. Let me tighten the curb
a little and then you'll be as safe as a
house with deft fingers. He undid the chain and ordered it.
You know you really ought not to ride alone. A
groom bores me, and there's no one else to come.
I shall ride with you tomorrow, he answered. I don't
think you should be left to your own devices now.

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I think you're in no danger. She thanked him effusively
and trotted quickly off the cannon resumed his promenade. Somewhat
pleased with the action, he was grateful for the smallest
incident that served to restore his diminished self esteem. He
was turning round to go home when he felt a
hand on his shoulder. It was Sir John Durrant. I've

(02:55):
just seen Gwendolen. She tells me you saved her from
a nasty accident. Oh, oh, it was nothing I happened
to be near. I don't know how to thank you,
if you will allow me to say it. I think
it's somewhat incautious to let her ride alone. I've offered
to accompany her tomorrow. Oh that's very good of you.
Said the brewer. I'm afraid you'll find it a great bore,

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Not at all, I assure you it will be a
great pleasure. My doctor has advised me to take horse exercise,
and I shall be only too glad to have some
one to ride with. The cannon put his arm through
the brewers in his most friendly fashion. And how are you,
my dear fellow. I trust that your affairs are flourishing well.
In point of fact, they're not, cried the other suddenly

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growing serious. That confounded government wants to give the local
justice's power to close a certain proportion of public houses
in their districts. Ah. Yes, I saw something about that
in the papers, but I understood it would have no
influence on the consumption of liquor. Stonehenge's idea is that
the remaining houses will profit. Don't you believe it, cried

(04:02):
sir John, with much vigor. Nine times out of ten,
a man doesn't drink a glass of beer because he's thirsty,
but because there's a public house at his elbow. Each
one they shut up will take a good round sum
out of our pockets. The government seems very strong on
the point. I suppose they've been got hold of by
the fattests. Sir John stopped still and significantly tapped cannon

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Sprout on the chest. His utterance was full of weight.
Mark my words. The government doesn't know how strong we are.
If they try to interfere with the liquor interest, It'll
be a bad day for the Conservative Party. I'll fight
them tooth and nail, and I shall carry the whole
trade with me. I'm not a boasting fool, but I
tell you this. The government's in a damned wobbly state,

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and if they put my back up, I don't answer
for the consequences. Cannon Sprat looked at his red faced
friend with the utmost attention. He knew that Sir John
dur was a rich man, but had not realized till
this moment that he was a powerful man as well.
Events might take such a turn that any one who
had the brewer's ear would command vast influence. He looked

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at his watch. It was time for him to keep
an appointment, and he wanted to think quietly over the
consequences of this discovery. Why don't you come in lunch
with me at the club one day, he asked, I'm
afraid I mayn't take you to the Athenaeum, but they
give you capital wine at the Carlton. Sir John accepted
with pleasure, and so they parted. He was very thoughtful

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during the remainder of that morning, but at luncheon announced
to his family that he proposed to ride every morning
after breakfast. His doctor had recommended exercise, and he knew
of no other which combined in just such proportions entertainment
with utility. And what about this marriage of yours, Theodore asked,
Lady Sophia, you forget that we are all on tenter hooks.

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He stared at her for a moment with a very
natural show of amazement, and burst into a shout of laughter.
It was only a little joke of mine, Sophia, you
don't imagine it's likely that I should marry at my age.
As you say, we sprats have a remarkable sense of humor,
she replied dryly. I can't help poking fun at you sometimes,

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my dear, But as you rightly observed, no one would
be such a fool as to marry an old fossil
like your humble servant. But her remarks had brought back
to his mind an incident which he would willingly have forgotten.
He was still very sore, and the more he thought
of it, the more foolish he felt himself. It was
in no amiable mood, therefore, that he waited for Bertram Railing,

(06:42):
who was expected to call that afternoon. Nor was the
Canon much pleased with his daughter, and he had mentioned
two or three times his annoyance that her wilful disobedience
had placed him in an awkward position. Railing was not
an easy person to deal with. His plainness and outspo
oaken candor rendered possible a very undignified altercation. But when

(07:05):
the young man arrived, nothing was visible on the Cannon's
face save complete friendliness. They shook hands. Ah, how good
of you to come, dear Railing, so glad to see you.
When he told me she'd be at home this afternoon.
Of course, I didn't flatter myself that you'd come to
see me, laughed the Cannon. But in point of fact,

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I've been wanting to have a little talk with you.
It's a very serious step that you young folks are taking.
Then we're wise to take it with a light heart,
cried Railing. Gaily. Ha ha capital Now I should have
thought you were both very young to be married. I
am twenty eight, sir, and Whinnie is twenty one. You
neither of you look it, murmured the cannon with an

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amiable bow. Possibly cannon sprat pulled out the splendid cigarette
case in gold with initials of diamonds, which a fond
admirer had presented to him. He offered it to railing. No,
thank you, I never smoke. I see you have no vices.
The cannon became so bland that it was overwhelming. Now,

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my dear fellow, let us discuss this matter in the
most cordial way. I need not tell you that I
have the very highest esteem for you personally, and the
sincerest admiration for your talents. But we live in an
age when talent is not always rewarded according to its merits,
and I am curious to know upon what you propose
to live. My income is about one hundred and fifty

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a year, and Winnie has three hundred from her mother.
You are very well informed, smiled the canon, good naturedly,
Winnie told me, said Bertram, flushing. Obviously, I didn't suppose
for a moment that you had examined the will at
Somerset house. And do you imagine that Winnie will be
content to live on four hundred and fifty pounds a year.

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It's three times as much as my mother ever had. Possibly,
but your mother, a most excellent mister Rayling, has moved
in a rather different stratum of society from my daughter.
Do you think your daughter cares two straws for the
gowgaus and the tawdry trappings of society? Asked Bertram scornfully.
The cannon shrugged his shoulders. I think my daughter is human,

(09:17):
mister Rayling, and although it may surprise you, I will
confess that I think a carriage and pair absolutely essential
to her happiness. I know Winnie and I love her.
You think she's a doll and a fool. She was,
but I have made her into a woman, a flesh
and blood. She's a real woman now, and she loathes
all the shams in the shallowness of society. She told

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you that did, she answered the cannon upon my word,
we sprats have a keen sense of humor. Bertram sprang
to his feet and crossed over to the cannon. You
think she cares for carriages and fine clothes? Her life
was a mockery she didn't know what life was. She
had no aspirations, no idea. Of course, she wasted herself

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on the frivolities of a foolish world. Thank god, she
knows now how narrow this little circle is of idle,
selfish people. She wants to work. She wants to labor
with her fellow men, shoulder to shoulder, fighting the good fight.
And do you think, my dear young man, that it
would ever have occurred to Winnie that the world was
hollow and foolish if you had a wart on the

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tip of your nose or a squint in your eye
upon my soul, you're very unsophisticated. You believe that all
people are bad. On the contrary, I'm so charitable as
to think them merely foolish, said Canon Sprat, with an
acid smile of amusement. Have you only sneers for the
new life that fills your daughter's eyes. She's a different

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creature now. Oh, I believe in her, thank God, as
she believes in me. She's ready to take the journey
with me only by her side. Ah, I know she
loves me. You think I'm only a fortune hunter. We
don't want your money. We shouldn't know what to do
with it, and you're quite content that for you she
should sacrifice everything. She flings away painted husks, draws, tinsel,

(11:11):
cried Bertram, vehemently. She gains the whole world, which means
you and a villa in Peckham. Rye upon my soul.
You're very modest. Bertram looked at him, steadily, thrusting forward
his head with a searching air. He turned over in
his mind all that the other had said. What are
you driving at? He asked at length, why don't you

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say it out like a man instead of beating about
the bush. My dear mister Rayling, I must beg you
to observe the conventions of polite society. It is clearly
my duty to inquire into the circumstances of any young
man who proposes to marry my daughter. Bertram gave a
little hoarse laugh. I distrusted you when you first agreed

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to our engagement. I knew you despised me. I knew
that all your flattery was humbug. Say it straight out
like a man. Cannon Spratt shrugged his shoulders and spoke
slowly and gravely. Mister Rayling, I solemnly ask you to
give up my daughter. After mature reflection, I have come

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to the conclusion that the marriage is impossible and I
will never give my consent to it. We will do
without it. We're free, both of us, and we don't
care a button for you. Winnie has promised to marry me,
and by God she shall do. You absolutely disregard my
express wishes. The matter concerns us alone and no one

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else in the whole world. Cannon Spratt thoughtfully examined his
finger nails. On a sudden he had an inspiration. He
had learned a fact from Missus Rayling which he thought
at the time might prove useful, and here was the opportunity. Well,
mister Rayling, it's very painful to me to have to
talk to you in this manner. It is true that

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some time ago I gave a provisional sanction to your
engagement with Winnie, and I can perfectly understand that it
should seem strange if I now resolutely forbid it. I
have no doubt this is a great disappointment to you,
and for that reason I excuse your heated language, which
has been certainly wanting in courtesy. I am sure that

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when you are calmer you will regret some of the
expressions you have seen fit to use. But I will
tell you at once that I bear you on this
account absolutely no ill will. I am much obliged to you,
but I am not aware that I have used any
expression which I am in the least likely to regret,
said Bertram Sharply. Then if I may say so, as

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a man much older than yourself, and as a clergyman,
you show both your want of Christian charity and your
ignorance of social amenities. I beg you not to interrupt me,
he added, when he saw that Railing was about to
make a rejoinder. You will understand that I am not
the man to wrangle like a fishwife. Will you tell
me shortly what new objection you have to me? Kennon Sprat,

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that is what I am about to do. It has
come to my knowledge that your eldest sister is unfortunately
in a lunatic asylum. I need not tell you that
I regret this misfortune, but my views on the subject
are very decided. With insanity among your relations, I feel
that an alliance between your family and mine is out
of the question. That's absurd, cried Rayling. Florrie had an

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accident when she was a child. She fell downstairs, and
since then she's been not quite right in her head.
As your mother expressed it, mister Rayling, I should like
you to observe, however, that every child falls downstairs, and
the entire human race is not so imbecile as to
need the restraint of a lunatic asylum. Bertram's eyes were

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fixed steadily on cannon sprat. He tried to discover what
lay at the back of the man's mind, but could not.
He saw only that behind that calm face, amid this
resonance of polished phrase, something was being hidden from him.
I don't believe a word you say. I'm not a child,
I assure you. It's no good trying to hoodwink me.

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Tell me the simple truth. The Cannon flushed at this appeal,
and was nearly put out of countenance. He wondered if
he should fly into a passion and order railing out
of the house, but it was doubtful whether the socialist
would go. He was a little disconcerted too, by the
steadfastness with which Bertram had resisted him, and the scorn

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wherewith he brushed aside his specious reasons. Cannon Sprat was
hot with anger. The taunts to which he had calmly
listened rankled in his heart, and he would have been
pleased to show that none could thus treat him with impunity.
But he seldom lost his temper unadvisedly, and he realized
now that calmness gave him a decided advantage over the

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angry and excited suitor. Are you quite sure that when
he cares for you, he asked mildly, As sure as
I I am of my own name and my own life.
There was a pause. The Cannon for a minute, walked
up and down the room, and then, holding himself very erect,
stood still in front of Bertram. His voice was full

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of authority. Well, it is my painful duty to inform
you that you are mistaken. Winnie recognizes that she misjudged
the strength of her affection. I don't believe it, said Rayling,
full of scorn. My patience must be inexhaustible. I am
much tempted to kick you downstairs, mister Rayling. You forget

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that I'm a working man and horny handed, so it's
safer not to try it. Evidently hasn't occurred to you
that the manners of Peckham Rye are not altogether suitable
to South Kensington, smiled the Cannon blandly well. Winnie has
requested me to tell you that she finds she does
not care for you enough to marry you. She regrets

(16:55):
the inconvenience and unhappiness that she has caused, and desires
you to release her. Bertram grew white, and he gathered
himself together as a wild beast might driven to bay.
It's a lie, he cried furiously. It's a lie, the
Canon replied, with the utmost calm. You will have the
goodness to remember that I am a minister of the

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church and a son of the late Lord Chancellor of England.
If it's true you've forced her to give me up,
I know she loves me. You may think what you choose,
mister Rayling. The fact remains that she wishes to break
off her engagement with you. As a man of honor,
there is obviously, but one course open to you. You

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tell me I am a man of honor, and you
treat me like a lackey. Do you think you can
dismiss me like a servant? Don't you know that my
whole life's happiness is at stake. She can't send me
away like that. It's not true. It's not true. On
my honor as a gentleman, I have told you the
exact truth, replied cannon Sprat gravely. Bertram seized the cannon's arm.

(18:00):
Let her tell me herself. I must see her. Where
is she? She's gone out, but she knew I was
coming here to day. She expected me. Doesn't that show
you that what I have said is the simple truth.
I wished to spare you both a painful scene. Bertram hesitated.
He could not tell whether Winnie was really out, but

(18:21):
it seemed impossible to verify the statement. For a moment,
he looked straight into the cannon's eyes, then, without a word,
turned on his heel. Cannon Sprat gave a sigh of relief.
What an escape, he muttered, Good lord, what an escape.
End of Chapter sixteen.