Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter seventeen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain, Chapter seventeen.
Next morning, when Winnie came down to breakfast, she found
a letter from Bertram. She opened it with trembling hands.
It began abruptly and consisted only of two lines. I
(00:22):
shall wait for you to day in Kensington Gardens at
ten o'clock. I beg you to come. In the early
days of their engagement, when Cannon Sprat refused to hear
Rayling's name mentioned, they had been used to walk together
every morning. They met, always at a particular spot. There
were shady alleys, the scene of many pleasant conversations, which
(00:43):
Winnie could not help remembering with delight. She dreaded the
meeting he asked for, but felt that it was not
in her to refuse. She had thought all night over
the brief account her father had given of his interview
with Bertram, and wished with all her heart now to
explain personally why she had taken this step. She could
not bear that he should think too hardly of her.
(01:05):
The wounds she made seemed inevitable, but perhaps she could
do something to make him see how impossible it was
for her to act otherwise. Without saying a word to
her father, Winnie went out immediately after breakfast, and when
she arrived at the appointed place, found Bertram already there.
He greeted her without a smile. He was very pale,
(01:27):
and she felt her own face burn with shame. Under
his sad, questioning eyes. For a few minutes, they talked
of indifferent things, as though they could not bring themselves
to attack the subject that filled their hearts. They sat
down and for a while were silent. At last he
turned round and looked at her gravely. It's true, then,
(01:48):
he said, I'm very sorry, she murmured, turning her face away.
When your father spoke to me, I couldn't bring myself
to believe it. The whole thing seemed too horrible. Even now,
I can't convince myself that you really want me to
give you up. I've not had it from your own
lips yet. I want you to release me, Bertram. I
(02:10):
can't marry you. But why why the other day you
said you loved me better than any one in the
whole world. What have they done to turn you against me? Oh?
I thought better of you than that. Winnie, I trusted you.
I was mistaken when I thought I loved you. She whispered.
They're forcing you to give me up. No, she answered,
(02:32):
shaking her head. No one has done anything to influence me,
and yet, suddenly, with nothing to explain it, you send
your father to say you've made a mistake and don't
want to marry me. Oh, it's shameful, it's too cruel. Oh, Bertram,
don't speak like that, she cried, looking at him at last,
(02:53):
The unhappiness of his voice was very hard to bear,
and she could hardly restrain a sob. He looked at
her with puzzled eype. He was so wretched that his
brain was all confused. You loved me the other day,
he cried. Oh, don't be so cold. Tell me what
there is to tell, Winnie. I love you so passionately.
(03:13):
I can't live without you. Forgive me. I'm awfully sorry
for all the pain I've caused you. Are you afraid
because I'm poor and of mean birth? But you knew
that before. Oh I don't understand. It seems impossible. I
never dreamed you do this. I trusted you ten times
more than I trusted myself. I'm not fit to be
(03:36):
your wife, She sobbed. How can you sacrifice all that
we planned so joyfully, the life of labor shoulder to shoulder,
and the fine struggle for our fellows. I should hate it,
she answered hoarsely. He stared at her with surprise. He
caught the immense vehemence of her expression and the little
(03:56):
shiver of disgust that crossed her shoulders. Silent again, Oh, Bertram,
try to understand, said Winnie at last. I don't want
you to be unhappy. I want you to see that
we've made a dreadful mistake. I thank God that we've
discovered it before it was too late. I'm not made
for the life you want me to lead. I should
(04:18):
be utterly out of it. And all those meetings and
the agitations for things. I don't care two straws about it. Oh,
I loathe the very thought of it. He looked before him,
as though the very foundations of the world were sinking.
Winnie put her hand on his arm gently. Don't trouble
about me, Bertram. I'm not worth it. You thought me
(04:40):
different from what I am. You've never known me. You
put another soul into my body, and you loved that.
If you really knew me, you'd only despise me. You
thought I could do heroic things, but I can't. When
I was enthusiastic about labor and temperance and all the rest,
it was merely pose. I wanted you to think me
(05:00):
clever and original. I was flattered because you spoke to
me as if you thought my opinion worth having. But honestly,
I don't like poor people. I hate grime and dirt.
I can't look upon them as my fellows. I don't
want to have anything to do with them. I dare
say poverty and crime are very dreadful, and the misery
of the slums is heart rending. But I don't want
(05:22):
to see it. I want to shut my eyes and
forget all about it. Can't you see how awful it
would be if we married. I should only hamper you,
and we'd both be utterly wretched. Your father said a
carriage and pair was essential to your happiness. I told
him I would stake my life on you. I told
him that you despised the sham and the shallowness of society.
(05:45):
I suppose Papa knows me, said Winnie, Oh dearest, it
can't be true, he cried, taking her hand. You can't
mind whether you go on foot or in a gaudy carriage.
Life is so full, and there's so much work to do.
What can it matter? As long as we do our duty.
I know I'm a cad, but I must have decent
(06:06):
things and servants and nice clothes. It's vulgar and hateful
and petty, but I can't help it. I want to
live as all my friends live. I haven't the courage
to give up all that makes life beautiful. It's not
just one act of heroism. That it needs its strength
to be heroic day after day in a sort of dull,
sordid fashion, and there can never be any escape from it.
(06:29):
One has to make up one's mind that it will
last forever. I see myself living in a shabby house
in a hard, poky street with two dirty little maids,
and I could almost scream, Oh, I couldn't. Bertram, I
thought you cared for me. She did not answer. It's
different for you, she pleaded. You've been brought up without
(06:51):
all these things, and you don't miss them. I dare
say it's utterly snobbish, but I can't help it. I've
been used to luxuries all my life. It's just as
impossible for me to go without them as it would
be for you to go without a coat in winter.
You think it's very easy for me to do housework
and to mend linen as your mother does. But do
you think it's any easier than it would be for you,
(07:14):
who've worked with your brains to mend roads from morning
till night. I know girls who've done that sort of thing.
I've seen the shifts with which they keep up appearances
and the awful struggle to make both ends meet. I've
seen their faces pinched with anxiety, and I've seen the
wrench it causes when they must spend a shilling. I
couldn't stand at Bertram. You're quite right, I am afraid,
(07:37):
but I love you, Winnie. He said, You're the whole
world to me. Tell me what you want me to do,
and I'll try to do it. I can't lose you.
What can you do? How can you change yourself? Don't
you see that it's impossible and that we're utterly unsuited
to one another. Really, we've not got a single thought
(07:58):
or aim or idea in common. You can't want to
make me so unhappy as to wish to marry me,
then it's good bye, he asked. Winnie looked up. To
her surprise, she saw her father ride past with Gwendolen Durrant. Instinctively,
she drew back, seeking to hide herself, but they were
too deeply engrossed in conversation to notice her. Rayling's eyes
(08:22):
met hers sadly. I don't know how I shall live
without you, he said. You must try to forgive me
for all the wretchedness I've caused you, and soon I
hope that you'll forget all about me. Is there no
chance that you'll ever change your mind? He asked brokenly.
She hesitated, for there was something on her heart which
(08:43):
she felt strangely impelled to confess. It seemed that she
owed it to him. I think I ought to tell
you that Lord Roxham has asked me to marry him,
and are you going to he gasped. I've known him
ever since I was a check and I'm very fond
of him. I'm frightened. I wanted you to know from
(09:04):
my own lips rather than from a newspaper. You probably
can't despise me more than you do already. What do
you mean by saying you're frightened? Are you frightened of me? Yes?
Then it is good bye, indeed, he answered. After a
long silence, he stood up and without another word, left her.
(09:26):
Whinnie began to cry silently. In that pleasure garden fit
scene for the careless trifling of fair ladies in hoops
and of gentlemen in periwigs. Everyone else seemed happy and unconcerned.
Children in their bright dresses played with merry shouts, and
their nurses idly gossiped. A tremor passed through Winnie's body
(09:46):
as she struggled in vain to restrain her sobbing. In
the afternoon, when he told her father that she had
seen Bertram, she felt still as though her heart were breaking. Oh, father,
I feel so ashamed, she moaned. Cannon Sprat pursed his
lips and nodded once or twice gravely. He did not
approve of this stolen interview, but presumed it would be
(10:09):
the last. He addressed her in grave, sonorous tones. You
do well to feel ashamed, my child. I hope this
will be a warning and a lesson to you. You
see what comes of disobeying your father and setting yourself
obstinately and irreligiously against his better judgment. In future, I
trust you will be more dutiful. Believe me, it is
(10:31):
always best to honor your parents, and if you don't,
you're sure to be punished for it. Oughtn't I to
tell Harry, she asked, tell him what cried the canon? Perfectly, aghast,
I think he ought to know that I was engaged
to Bertram. Certainly not, he answered, with the utmost decision.
(10:51):
I entirely forbid you to do anything of the sort,
and I hope you've been sufficiently punished for your wilful
disobedience to obey me. Now, wxhom is very susceptible, and
it's your duty to give him no anxiety. And whatever
you do, don't begin your married life by confessing everything
to your husband. It will only bore him to death. Besides,
(11:13):
one never can tell the whole truth, and it leads
inevitably to deception and subterfuge. But suppose he finds out.
Cannon Spratt gave a sigh of genuine relief, For, after all,
the fear of discovery is the easiest form of conscience
to deal with. Is that all you're frightened of? My darling?
He said, Leave it to me. I'll tell him all
(11:34):
that's necessary. And the next time he found himself alone
with Wroxham, he took the opportunity to set the matter right.
By the way, Harry, when he wants me to tell
you something that's rather worrying her. You know what girls are.
They often have a sensitiveness of conscience which is very charming,
but at the same time rather ridiculous. I don't suppose
(11:56):
you ever heard of a young man called Railing. You
mean the Socialist. When he gave me his book to read,
I may say I was among the first to discover
its striking merit. I thought it my duty to encourage him,
and I asked him to come and see us. His father,
it appears, was a coal heaver, and I thought him
a very remarkable fellow. But he repaid my kindness by
(12:20):
falling in love with Winnie and asking her to marry him.
Why didn't you kick him down stairs? Laughed Roxham lightly
upon my word, I had half a mind to I
will never befriend the lower orders again. They always take
liberties with you. At this juncture, Winnie came into the room.
Cannon Sprat told her that he had informed Roxham of
(12:42):
the unfortunate incident. She gave her devoted lover an appealing glance,
and the thought that she was so fearful to offend
him increased a thousandfold his passionate tenderness. You are not
angry with me, dear, because a madman wants to marry you.
Why I want to do that myself? Capital Capital, laughed
(13:03):
the cannon. But seriously, I don't think he's quite right
in his head. His sister is in a lunatic asylum.
You know, I hope you won't receive any nonsensical letter
from him. Roxam was all eyes for Winnie and scarcely
listens to the trivial topic. If I do, it shall
go straight into the waste paper basket, he answered lightly.
(13:24):
Quite right, said the cannon. Quite right. He tactfully left
the lovers to themselves. End of Chapter seventeen.
Chapter seventeen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain, Chapter seventeen.
Next morning, when Winnie came down to breakfast, she found
a letter from Bertram. She opened it with trembling hands.
It began abruptly and consisted only of two lines. I
(00:22):
shall wait for you to day in Kensington Gardens at
ten o'clock. I beg you to come. In the early
days of their engagement, when Cannon Sprat refused to hear
Rayling's name mentioned, they had been used to walk together
every morning. They met, always at a particular spot. There
were shady alleys, the scene of many pleasant conversations, which
(00:43):
Winnie could not help remembering with delight. She dreaded the
meeting he asked for, but felt that it was not
in her to refuse. She had thought all night over
the brief account her father had given of his interview
with Bertram, and wished with all her heart now to
explain personally why she had taken this step. She could
not bear that he should think too hardly of her.
(01:05):
The wounds she made seemed inevitable, but perhaps she could
do something to make him see how impossible it was
for her to act otherwise. Without saying a word to
her father, Winnie went out immediately after breakfast, and when
she arrived at the appointed place, found Bertram already there.
He greeted her without a smile. He was very pale,
(01:27):
and she felt her own face burn with shame. Under
his sad, questioning eyes. For a few minutes, they talked
of indifferent things, as though they could not bring themselves
to attack the subject that filled their hearts. They sat
down and for a while were silent. At last he
turned round and looked at her gravely. It's true, then,
(01:48):
he said, I'm very sorry, she murmured, turning her face away.
When your father spoke to me, I couldn't bring myself
to believe it. The whole thing seemed too horrible. Even now,
I can't convince myself that you really want me to
give you up. I've not had it from your own
lips yet. I want you to release me, Bertram. I
(02:10):
can't marry you. But why why the other day you
said you loved me better than any one in the
whole world. What have they done to turn you against me? Oh?
I thought better of you than that. Winnie, I trusted you.
I was mistaken when I thought I loved you. She whispered.
They're forcing you to give me up. No, she answered,
(02:32):
shaking her head. No one has done anything to influence me,
and yet, suddenly, with nothing to explain it, you send
your father to say you've made a mistake and don't
want to marry me. Oh, it's shameful, it's too cruel. Oh, Bertram,
don't speak like that, she cried, looking at him at last,
(02:53):
The unhappiness of his voice was very hard to bear,
and she could hardly restrain a sob. He looked at
her with puzzled eype. He was so wretched that his
brain was all confused. You loved me the other day,
he cried. Oh, don't be so cold. Tell me what
there is to tell, Winnie. I love you so passionately.
(03:13):
I can't live without you. Forgive me. I'm awfully sorry
for all the pain I've caused you. Are you afraid
because I'm poor and of mean birth? But you knew
that before. Oh I don't understand. It seems impossible. I
never dreamed you do this. I trusted you ten times
more than I trusted myself. I'm not fit to be
(03:36):
your wife, She sobbed. How can you sacrifice all that
we planned so joyfully, the life of labor shoulder to shoulder,
and the fine struggle for our fellows. I should hate it,
she answered hoarsely. He stared at her with surprise. He
caught the immense vehemence of her expression and the little
(03:56):
shiver of disgust that crossed her shoulders. Silent again, Oh, Bertram,
try to understand, said Winnie at last. I don't want
you to be unhappy. I want you to see that
we've made a dreadful mistake. I thank God that we've
discovered it before it was too late. I'm not made
for the life you want me to lead. I should
(04:18):
be utterly out of it. And all those meetings and
the agitations for things. I don't care two straws about it. Oh,
I loathe the very thought of it. He looked before him,
as though the very foundations of the world were sinking.
Winnie put her hand on his arm gently. Don't trouble
about me, Bertram. I'm not worth it. You thought me
(04:40):
different from what I am. You've never known me. You
put another soul into my body, and you loved that.
If you really knew me, you'd only despise me. You
thought I could do heroic things, but I can't. When
I was enthusiastic about labor and temperance and all the rest,
it was merely pose. I wanted you to think me
(05:00):
clever and original. I was flattered because you spoke to
me as if you thought my opinion worth having. But honestly,
I don't like poor people. I hate grime and dirt.
I can't look upon them as my fellows. I don't
want to have anything to do with them. I dare
say poverty and crime are very dreadful, and the misery
of the slums is heart rending. But I don't want
(05:22):
to see it. I want to shut my eyes and
forget all about it. Can't you see how awful it
would be if we married. I should only hamper you,
and we'd both be utterly wretched. Your father said a
carriage and pair was essential to your happiness. I told
him I would stake my life on you. I told
him that you despised the sham and the shallowness of society.
(05:45):
I suppose Papa knows me, said Winnie, Oh dearest, it
can't be true, he cried, taking her hand. You can't
mind whether you go on foot or in a gaudy carriage.
Life is so full, and there's so much work to do.
What can it matter? As long as we do our duty.
I know I'm a cad, but I must have decent
(06:06):
things and servants and nice clothes. It's vulgar and hateful
and petty, but I can't help it. I want to
live as all my friends live. I haven't the courage
to give up all that makes life beautiful. It's not
just one act of heroism. That it needs its strength
to be heroic day after day in a sort of dull,
sordid fashion, and there can never be any escape from it.
(06:29):
One has to make up one's mind that it will
last forever. I see myself living in a shabby house
in a hard, poky street with two dirty little maids,
and I could almost scream, Oh, I couldn't. Bertram, I
thought you cared for me. She did not answer. It's
different for you, she pleaded. You've been brought up without
(06:51):
all these things, and you don't miss them. I dare
say it's utterly snobbish, but I can't help it. I've
been used to luxuries all my life. It's just as
impossible for me to go without them as it would
be for you to go without a coat in winter.
You think it's very easy for me to do housework
and to mend linen as your mother does. But do
you think it's any easier than it would be for you,
(07:14):
who've worked with your brains to mend roads from morning
till night. I know girls who've done that sort of thing.
I've seen the shifts with which they keep up appearances
and the awful struggle to make both ends meet. I've
seen their faces pinched with anxiety, and I've seen the
wrench it causes when they must spend a shilling. I
couldn't stand at Bertram. You're quite right, I am afraid,
(07:37):
but I love you, Winnie. He said, You're the whole
world to me. Tell me what you want me to do,
and I'll try to do it. I can't lose you.
What can you do? How can you change yourself? Don't
you see that it's impossible and that we're utterly unsuited
to one another. Really, we've not got a single thought
(07:58):
or aim or idea in common. You can't want to
make me so unhappy as to wish to marry me,
then it's good bye, he asked. Winnie looked up. To
her surprise, she saw her father ride past with Gwendolen Durrant. Instinctively,
she drew back, seeking to hide herself, but they were
too deeply engrossed in conversation to notice her. Rayling's eyes
(08:22):
met hers sadly. I don't know how I shall live
without you, he said. You must try to forgive me
for all the wretchedness I've caused you, and soon I
hope that you'll forget all about me. Is there no
chance that you'll ever change your mind? He asked brokenly.
She hesitated, for there was something on her heart which
(08:43):
she felt strangely impelled to confess. It seemed that she
owed it to him. I think I ought to tell
you that Lord Roxham has asked me to marry him,
and are you going to he gasped. I've known him
ever since I was a check and I'm very fond
of him. I'm frightened. I wanted you to know from
(09:04):
my own lips rather than from a newspaper. You probably
can't despise me more than you do already. What do
you mean by saying you're frightened? Are you frightened of me? Yes?
Then it is good bye, indeed, he answered. After a
long silence, he stood up and without another word, left her.
(09:26):
Whinnie began to cry silently. In that pleasure garden fit
scene for the careless trifling of fair ladies in hoops
and of gentlemen in periwigs. Everyone else seemed happy and unconcerned.
Children in their bright dresses played with merry shouts, and
their nurses idly gossiped. A tremor passed through Winnie's body
(09:46):
as she struggled in vain to restrain her sobbing. In
the afternoon, when he told her father that she had
seen Bertram, she felt still as though her heart were breaking. Oh, father,
I feel so ashamed, she moaned. Cannon Sprat pursed his
lips and nodded once or twice gravely. He did not
approve of this stolen interview, but presumed it would be
(10:09):
the last. He addressed her in grave, sonorous tones. You
do well to feel ashamed, my child. I hope this
will be a warning and a lesson to you. You
see what comes of disobeying your father and setting yourself
obstinately and irreligiously against his better judgment. In future, I
trust you will be more dutiful. Believe me, it is
(10:31):
always best to honor your parents, and if you don't,
you're sure to be punished for it. Oughtn't I to
tell Harry, she asked, tell him what cried the canon? Perfectly, aghast,
I think he ought to know that I was engaged
to Bertram. Certainly not, he answered, with the utmost decision.
(10:51):
I entirely forbid you to do anything of the sort,
and I hope you've been sufficiently punished for your wilful
disobedience to obey me. Now, wxhom is very susceptible, and
it's your duty to give him no anxiety. And whatever
you do, don't begin your married life by confessing everything
to your husband. It will only bore him to death. Besides,
(11:13):
one never can tell the whole truth, and it leads
inevitably to deception and subterfuge. But suppose he finds out.
Cannon Spratt gave a sigh of genuine relief, For, after all,
the fear of discovery is the easiest form of conscience
to deal with. Is that all you're frightened of? My darling?
He said, Leave it to me. I'll tell him all
(11:34):
that's necessary. And the next time he found himself alone
with Wroxham, he took the opportunity to set the matter right.
By the way, Harry, when he wants me to tell
you something that's rather worrying her. You know what girls are.
They often have a sensitiveness of conscience which is very charming,
but at the same time rather ridiculous. I don't suppose
(11:56):
you ever heard of a young man called Railing. You
mean the Socialist. When he gave me his book to read,
I may say I was among the first to discover
its striking merit. I thought it my duty to encourage him,
and I asked him to come and see us. His father,
it appears, was a coal heaver, and I thought him
a very remarkable fellow. But he repaid my kindness by
(12:20):
falling in love with Winnie and asking her to marry him.
Why didn't you kick him down stairs? Laughed Roxham lightly
upon my word, I had half a mind to I
will never befriend the lower orders again. They always take
liberties with you. At this juncture, Winnie came into the room.
Cannon Sprat told her that he had informed Roxham of
(12:42):
the unfortunate incident. She gave her devoted lover an appealing glance,
and the thought that she was so fearful to offend
him increased a thousandfold his passionate tenderness. You are not
angry with me, dear, because a madman wants to marry you.
Why I want to do that myself? Capital Capital, laughed
(13:03):
the cannon. But seriously, I don't think he's quite right
in his head. His sister is in a lunatic asylum.
You know, I hope you won't receive any nonsensical letter
from him. Roxam was all eyes for Winnie and scarcely
listens to the trivial topic. If I do, it shall
go straight into the waste paper basket, he answered lightly.
(13:24):
Quite right, said the cannon. Quite right. He tactfully left
the lovers to themselves. End of Chapter seventeen.
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