Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter eighteen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Chapter eighteen.
Some days later, Lord Spratt found himself dressed half an
hour too early for the dinner party to which he
was going. He made up his mind to walk down Piccadilly.
(00:21):
The evening was delightful, and he looked with amiable eyes
upon the populous street. The closing day flooded the scene
with gold that seemed flung from divine hands. With a
gesture large and free. The crowd sweeping along the pavements,
the gay buses and the carriages were bathed in opulent splendor.
(00:41):
They looked like magic things, all light and movement, seen
by a painter who could work miracles. Lord Spratt congratulated
himself that his fellow men were all very well to do,
and had obviously no concern with sordid details. He braced
himself to enjoy the charming world in general, the festivity
before him in particular. I'm feeling younger every day, he
(01:05):
murmured by Jupiter. If Theodore don't mind his p's and q's,
I'll marry and do him out of the title. Yet
so may the fancy of middle age and June turn
lightly to amorous undertakings. Suddenly he recognized Bertram Railing, who
was walking quickly towards him. They met, and the socialist,
seeing him for the first time, flushed. Then he fixed
(01:28):
his eyes firmly on Lord Spratt, and with much deliberation,
cut him. The elder man smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
He wanted to speak with Bertram and was entirely indifferent
to his obvious disinclination. He turned round and with some trouble,
caught him up. Why the dickens do you walk at
that rate? He panted, somewhat out of breath. He took
(01:51):
Bertram's arm familiarly, but the young man stopped and abruptly
released himself. What do you want merely to have little chat?
Let us stroll in the park for five minutes. I'm sorry,
that's impossible. I have an urgent engagement. Nonsense. Lord Spratt
again seized the unwilling arm, and in the most determined
(02:13):
way made for the park gates. I want to talk
to you about your engagement with Winnie. I'm afraid you've
been very unhappy. Bertram did not answer, but with firm
set jaws, looked straight in front of him. You know,
if I were you, I would try not to take
it too much to heart, he went on. In a
little while, you'll understand that both you and Winnie would
(02:36):
have been quite unnecessarily wretched. He paused and looked at
Bertram sharply. Will you promise not to turn round and
bolt if I stopped to light a cigarette? Yes, said Bertram,
smiling in spite of himself. You think she's a very
remarkable young woman, but she's quite an average girl. Perhaps
(02:56):
she's a little prettier than most. I know very few
young women of her particular station who wouldn't have acted
as she has. Then Heaven help her particular station, cried Bertram.
I don't suppose it struck you that it's a very
awkward one, replied Lord Spratt mildly. A great family might
have lived down a match of this sort. I don't
(03:18):
want to hurt your feelings, but we're such very small fry.
You think us snobs, and so we are. You can't
expect anything else from people who've only just emerged from
middle classes. You know, I have an impression that your
grandfather and mine were great pals. I'm sure they used
to hobnob and drink brandy and water together in seedy
(03:39):
public houses. Do you remember the Egyptian usurper who made
a wine cup into the image of a god for
the edification of his former boonfellows. Well, we're something like that.
As stute monarch. We have to use all sorts of
stratagems to persuade the world of our gentility. If this
affair between you and Winnie had come to any do
(04:00):
you know what she would have done. She would have
tried all her life to live up to Mayfair, and
it would have meant either that you were dragged away
from your proper work, or that she would have been
eternally dissatisfied. My dear boy, she would have reproached you
every day for marrying her. He stopped, feeling that the
words were not coming as he wished. He wanted to
(04:22):
be kind, and there were a few useful things he
thought Bertram ought to know, but he could not properly
order what was in his mind. Bertram felt the intention
and presently answered, less bitterly, why do you take the
trouble to say all this? I wish I had my
brother Theodore's eloquence. He'd say what I want to in
the most beautiful language. He's not such a bad chap,
(04:45):
although you probably don't set much store on him. He's
so fortunate as to feel himself a person of importance.
I don't. I always wish I'd been the son of nobody.
In particular, it bores me to death to go about
under the shadow of my father's I can't think why
it is, but I go through life feeling as if
I were perpetually aware in fancy dress. I haven't read
(05:08):
your book. I believe it's very instructive, and at my
time of life I avoid instruction. But when Winnie said
she was going to marry you, I went one day
to hear you speak at a meetin in Holborn. I
was never so surprised in my life. Why I discovered
that you were sincere by Jupiter. How you would have
(05:28):
bored Winnie if things had gone on much longer. Most
of those worthy folk who advocate reform and Lord knows what,
have their own axes to grind. My brother Theodore, for instance,
wants a bishopric. Others want a seat in the cabinet
or a sinecure. Even now I believe that there are
some who want a peerage, though for the life of
me I can't see what good they think it'll do them.
(05:52):
Lord Spratt laughed a little and threw away his cigarette.
They make a great fuss about redressing the people's wrongs,
but in their heart of heart, I believe they're precious
indifferent to them. They want the power which they can
chosen out of the mob, or they think the government
will stop their mouths with a fat billet. At first
I had an idea you were an impostor, like the
(06:13):
rest of them, But when you stood up on your
hind legs, I found out you were nothing of the kind.
You were the only speaker among all those MPs and
clerics and millionaires who seem to me a word you said.
Your speech was quite out of the picture, but it
was interesting. Personally, my loathed democracy and socialism and all
the rest of it, but honest conviction amuses me. To
(06:36):
see it on a platform is quite a new sensation.
It made Lord Sprat uncommonly nervous to play the heavy father,
and he feared that he was very ridiculous. He waited
for Bertram to make an observation. I want to do
something for my fellows in the few years of my life,
said the other. At last, you'll find they're much better
(06:57):
left alone, and your reward will probably be the most
virulent abuse. The human race loves a martyr. It will
crucify a man with the greatest zest in order to
have another god to worship as soon as the breath
is out of his body. I'm willing to take the risk,
smiled Rayling. Then, in Heaven's name, don't hamper yourself by marriage.
(07:18):
If you marry out of your own station, you'll be nobbled.
My boy, before you'd been Winnie's husband twelve months, they'd
have set you up as a Tory member of parliament.
On the other hand, if you marry a pauper, you'll
have to think of all sorts of shifts to earn bread.
You'll have to hold your tongue when you ought to speak,
because you daren't risk your means of livelihood. I loved
(07:41):
Winnie with all my heart and soul, I dare say,
But you'll get over it. One thinks one's heart is
broken and the world is suddenly hollow and empty. But
a disappointment in love is like an attack of the gout.
It's the very devil while it lasts, but one feels
all the better for it afterwards. My dear fellow, I
(08:01):
was jilted once. I loved a lady in the gayety chorus,
and I loved her dearly. But I promise you not
a day passes without my huggin myself to think I'm
still a bachelor. He gave Bertram his hand, asked him
to call soon at his chambers, and jumped into a cab.
He was sorry that these efforts at consolation had not
(08:22):
been successful, but presently he shrugged his shoulders. He'll write
a series of articles for a radical paper on the
wickedness of the aristocracy, and that'll soothe him a good sight,
better than I could. End of Chapter eighteen.
Chapter eighteen of The Bishop's apron by W. Somerset Maum.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Chapter eighteen.
Some days later, Lord Spratt found himself dressed half an
hour too early for the dinner party to which he
was going. He made up his mind to walk down Piccadilly.
(00:21):
The evening was delightful, and he looked with amiable eyes
upon the populous street. The closing day flooded the scene
with gold that seemed flung from divine hands. With a
gesture large and free. The crowd sweeping along the pavements,
the gay buses and the carriages were bathed in opulent splendor.
(00:41):
They looked like magic things, all light and movement, seen
by a painter who could work miracles. Lord Spratt congratulated
himself that his fellow men were all very well to do,
and had obviously no concern with sordid details. He braced
himself to enjoy the charming world in general, the festivity
before him in particular. I'm feeling younger every day, he
(01:05):
murmured by Jupiter. If Theodore don't mind his p's and q's,
I'll marry and do him out of the title. Yet
so may the fancy of middle age and June turn
lightly to amorous undertakings. Suddenly he recognized Bertram Railing, who
was walking quickly towards him. They met, and the socialist,
seeing him for the first time, flushed. Then he fixed
(01:28):
his eyes firmly on Lord Spratt, and with much deliberation,
cut him. The elder man smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
He wanted to speak with Bertram and was entirely indifferent
to his obvious disinclination. He turned round and with some trouble,
caught him up. Why the dickens do you walk at
that rate? He panted, somewhat out of breath. He took
(01:51):
Bertram's arm familiarly, but the young man stopped and abruptly
released himself. What do you want merely to have little chat?
Let us stroll in the park for five minutes. I'm sorry,
that's impossible. I have an urgent engagement. Nonsense. Lord Spratt
again seized the unwilling arm, and in the most determined
(02:13):
way made for the park gates. I want to talk
to you about your engagement with Winnie. I'm afraid you've
been very unhappy. Bertram did not answer, but with firm
set jaws, looked straight in front of him. You know,
if I were you, I would try not to take
it too much to heart, he went on. In a
little while, you'll understand that both you and Winnie would
(02:36):
have been quite unnecessarily wretched. He paused and looked at
Bertram sharply. Will you promise not to turn round and
bolt if I stopped to light a cigarette? Yes, said Bertram,
smiling in spite of himself. You think she's a very
remarkable young woman, but she's quite an average girl. Perhaps
(02:56):
she's a little prettier than most. I know very few
young women of her particular station who wouldn't have acted
as she has. Then Heaven help her particular station, cried Bertram.
I don't suppose it struck you that it's a very
awkward one, replied Lord Spratt mildly. A great family might
have lived down a match of this sort. I don't
(03:18):
want to hurt your feelings, but we're such very small fry.
You think us snobs, and so we are. You can't
expect anything else from people who've only just emerged from
middle classes. You know, I have an impression that your
grandfather and mine were great pals. I'm sure they used
to hobnob and drink brandy and water together in seedy
(03:39):
public houses. Do you remember the Egyptian usurper who made
a wine cup into the image of a god for
the edification of his former boonfellows. Well, we're something like that.
As stute monarch. We have to use all sorts of
stratagems to persuade the world of our gentility. If this
affair between you and Winnie had come to any do
(04:00):
you know what she would have done. She would have
tried all her life to live up to Mayfair, and
it would have meant either that you were dragged away
from your proper work, or that she would have been
eternally dissatisfied. My dear boy, she would have reproached you
every day for marrying her. He stopped, feeling that the
words were not coming as he wished. He wanted to
(04:22):
be kind, and there were a few useful things he
thought Bertram ought to know, but he could not properly
order what was in his mind. Bertram felt the intention
and presently answered, less bitterly, why do you take the
trouble to say all this? I wish I had my
brother Theodore's eloquence. He'd say what I want to in
the most beautiful language. He's not such a bad chap,
(04:45):
although you probably don't set much store on him. He's
so fortunate as to feel himself a person of importance.
I don't. I always wish I'd been the son of nobody.
In particular, it bores me to death to go about
under the shadow of my father's I can't think why
it is, but I go through life feeling as if
I were perpetually aware in fancy dress. I haven't read
(05:08):
your book. I believe it's very instructive, and at my
time of life I avoid instruction. But when Winnie said
she was going to marry you, I went one day
to hear you speak at a meetin in Holborn. I
was never so surprised in my life. Why I discovered
that you were sincere by Jupiter. How you would have
(05:28):
bored Winnie if things had gone on much longer. Most
of those worthy folk who advocate reform and Lord knows what,
have their own axes to grind. My brother Theodore, for instance,
wants a bishopric. Others want a seat in the cabinet
or a sinecure. Even now I believe that there are
some who want a peerage, though for the life of
me I can't see what good they think it'll do them.
(05:52):
Lord Spratt laughed a little and threw away his cigarette.
They make a great fuss about redressing the people's wrongs,
but in their heart of heart, I believe they're precious
indifferent to them. They want the power which they can
chosen out of the mob, or they think the government
will stop their mouths with a fat billet. At first
I had an idea you were an impostor, like the
(06:13):
rest of them, But when you stood up on your
hind legs, I found out you were nothing of the kind.
You were the only speaker among all those MPs and
clerics and millionaires who seem to me a word you said.
Your speech was quite out of the picture, but it
was interesting. Personally, my loathed democracy and socialism and all
the rest of it, but honest conviction amuses me. To
(06:36):
see it on a platform is quite a new sensation.
It made Lord Sprat uncommonly nervous to play the heavy father,
and he feared that he was very ridiculous. He waited
for Bertram to make an observation. I want to do
something for my fellows in the few years of my life,
said the other. At last, you'll find they're much better
(06:57):
left alone, and your reward will probably be the most
virulent abuse. The human race loves a martyr. It will
crucify a man with the greatest zest in order to
have another god to worship as soon as the breath
is out of his body. I'm willing to take the risk,
smiled Rayling. Then, in Heaven's name, don't hamper yourself by marriage.
(07:18):
If you marry out of your own station, you'll be nobbled.
My boy, before you'd been Winnie's husband twelve months, they'd
have set you up as a Tory member of parliament.
On the other hand, if you marry a pauper, you'll
have to think of all sorts of shifts to earn bread.
You'll have to hold your tongue when you ought to speak,
because you daren't risk your means of livelihood. I loved
(07:41):
Winnie with all my heart and soul, I dare say,
But you'll get over it. One thinks one's heart is
broken and the world is suddenly hollow and empty. But
a disappointment in love is like an attack of the gout.
It's the very devil while it lasts, but one feels
all the better for it afterwards. My dear fellow, I
(08:01):
was jilted once. I loved a lady in the gayety chorus,
and I loved her dearly. But I promise you not
a day passes without my huggin myself to think I'm
still a bachelor. He gave Bertram his hand, asked him
to call soon at his chambers, and jumped into a cab.
He was sorry that these efforts at consolation had not
(08:22):
been successful, but presently he shrugged his shoulders. He'll write
a series of articles for a radical paper on the
wickedness of the aristocracy, and that'll soothe him a good sight,
better than I could. End of Chapter eighteen.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.