November 2, 2023 • 55 mins
"The Chase and Sanborn Hour" was a popular American radio variety show that aired from 1929 to 1948. It was one of the most influential and well-loved radio programs of its time, featuring a mix of comedy, music, and guest appearances by celebrities. The show was sponsored by the Chase and Sanborn Coffee Company, and its primary purpose was to promote the company's products.The show was initially hosted by the comedian Eddie Cantor, who was known for his humor and singing talents. Later, in 1937, Cantor was replaced by Edgar Bergen and his ventriloquist dummy, Charlie McCarthy. Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy became the show's most iconic and enduring hosts, captivating audiences with their witty banter and comedic routines. Other characters like Mortimer Snerd also made appearances on the show, adding to its humor.In addition to comedy sketches featuring the ventriloquist act, "The Chase and Sanborn Hour" also featured musical performances by renowned artists and orchestras of the era. The show's musical numbers were an integral part of its charm, with popular singers and bands of the time showcasing their talents.The show's popularity was further enhanced by its guest appearances by Hollywood celebrities, making it a significant platform for promoting movies and other entertainment projects. Notable stars often dropped by to engage in humorous conversations and sketches, adding to the show's appeal."The Chase and Sanborn Hour" was a significant cultural phenomenon during the Golden Age of Radio, drawing in millions of listeners each week and contributing to the success of the Chase and Sanborn Coffee Company. It played a crucial role in shaping the landscape of radio entertainment in the early 20th century, and its legacy is still remembered today as one of the iconic radio programs of its time.
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is the Taiston Sanborn Hour,directed by Rubenov, Darling, Eddie Tapper,
American's foremost comedian, Rubenov and hisviolin. Are you listening in folks
(01:53):
hunts? This is your old pal, Lady Camper, just to calling around
for a good whose visit with you? All? Screw yourself up in an
easy chair by the girl fireplace,folk, and we'll smoke a hearing together.
Te on line the morn, keepshoe high, shining on the wall,
(02:23):
Sy youmted? Just a bit later, do you mind? Oh please
leave me along ame a one themoon, keep shine high, start on
the warm just a minute. I'mafraid there's something wrong here. You see.
(02:44):
We want to lead up to yourreference a bit more gradually. We
want to do a little building upfor you, you know, sort of
build up a big entrance. See. Okay, So go on buildings saying
these times I should stop somebody frombuildings. All line up, moon deep
shine shine. Wait a minute,say oh for good mistakes, I'll get
(03:10):
killed. I'm on the wrong program. Oh that's all right, Eddie.
We all make our little mistake.That's why we have an election every four
year. Exactly. We'll get alongwith that construction work. Now, if
you don't mind, Rubinov will takecare of building up for Cant With an
overtre medley of Eddie's song from Whoopies, Hit Boots and the Folly, he
calls the number Eddie cantor Memory andthe things can and can remember? Would
(03:32):
you be surprised? Are you listeningpool? Are you listening to mister Goldstett
(05:16):
Supt Past to act at a step? As you know, Ladies and gentlemen,
(09:05):
our mister Canter is not only Americansfirst comedian, he is also a
literary celebrity and a rising statesman toboot, a statesman to boot, there's
an idea. Yeah, I thoughtyou'd get a kick out of that one,
Eddie. Wait, wait a minute, who's the comedian here? As
I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, our mister Canter is a brilliant statesman
as well as a comedian. TheCatter five year plans for removing the well
(09:26):
known depression has outlined in Eddie's newbooks You Who Prosperity has been hailed by
right thinking citizens everywhere as pretty darnmystic. Already the word goes wrong?
What about Canner? In nineteen thirtytwo. In fact, ladies and gentlemen,
cater and prosperity are just around thecorner. Only Eddie has arrived first,
and so we give you for President, the Honorable mister Eddie Can.
(09:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, My hat isin the my hat is in the ring,
and my overcoat is in the hotThanks you, citizens, Thank you.
After all, is it so strangethat I should be president? Haven't
we had twenty fellows in office before? While we've still got them. There's
(10:20):
only one trouble. Maybe I couldn'tbe president on account of my connection with
Flow, Zickbell and Sam Goldwyn.You know, Flow and Sam are now
right in the middle of a bigfight over my services this winter. Vicktel
wants me to work for Goldman,and Goldwyn wants me to work for Zick
Beel. They elect candor president andthey'll both win. Anyhow, it's time
(10:41):
something was done about this here now, this what is it? They call
it? Oh? Yes, aboutthis depression. It's terrible, you know,
things are so bad. My friendGlaucho Mark tells me that on the
Boston Commons the pigeons are now feedingthe people post on up. Everything is
(11:01):
cheap but nobody is buying, eventhose who don't intend to pay on buying.
Everybody is saving up for a rainyday. If they only knew it.
It's pouring pitchfork right now. Still, don't despair. Remember the proverbs
when the wolf is at the door, look for the silver linings. The
(11:22):
elect canter, and the wolf wasdying laughing. In my own case,
the depression bored a strange results.Before the crash, I had a million
dollars, a house, three cars, and four daughters. Now all I've
got left with five daughters. Othershave cut down on everything. I know
families who own the states and belongto fashionable golf clops. Now they live
(11:45):
in caves, and to keep upappearances, they play miniature golf with tapioca
and proof fixed at the summer results. This year millions of Mosquitos died of
hunger. They couldn't find any peopleworth fighting. And I know some Higelos,
not intimately, who had been reducedto dancing with each other. In
(12:05):
the spring of nineteen twenty nine,my broke His wife wandered as talking birds,
and I sent her a parrot.The crash made her a widow,
and I went to see her.How did you like the parrot, I
asked her. It had a wonderfulsense of humor, she said, but
the meat were so tough sill.The depression has done some good. It
(12:28):
stopped the farmers from crying for relief. They got spightened when they sure how
the city folks were relieved, andhow things have changed though. Stop guilts
are now taken seriously and put intopractice. Armenia has put up an imitation
barrier to seep out the sarving Americans. And nowadays we look forward eagerly to
(12:48):
Rockefeller's dimes. But he called backthe dimes he gave away last year,
both of them. We found outwhat Arthur is. They meant when he
said your hands still this country short? He meant, if you sell it
any shorter, the Indians will buya bag. He found out what no
one meant when he said the countryis on the Pollard foundation. It has
(13:09):
to be. It hit rock bottom. So there's only one thing left to
do. The left camper cancer singsong after all, Voover or Rouso even
sing, and citizens will not himcomage with a megaphone where you can see
for my first song Tonight, ladies, and gentlemen, I'm gonna play safe.
(13:33):
I'm going to sing. My babyjust cares for me. Some whoopies
with all your I'm so happy sincethe day start, I fell in love
(13:54):
in a great big way, Tampafixed surprise that someone loves me too.
That's a part for you to seejust what anyone could see and me.
But it only goes to prove whatlove can do. My baby don't care
for show. My baby don't carefor clothes. My baby just care for
(14:18):
me. My baby don't care forfor them, lady for my baby,
don't care for high tone pleasure.My baby don't care for rings or other
expensive things. She's then for thelasting. My baby don't care more.
(14:43):
My baby just care for me.My baby's no Coleman fan blar Gable is
not her man. My baby justcares for me. My baby here Paul
Lawrence Hibbert, she'd rather have meall around here Hibbert Bard Rogers is not
(15:09):
her style. And even Chevalier smileif something that he can see. I
wonder what's wrong with the baby.My baby cares for me. Yeah,
yes, here we are. Thisis the shafty Sanborn. Now, ladies
(15:33):
and gentlemen with Rubenov, Rubanov violins, ten other fiddles, three taxophones,
one French horns, two thumb bones, one based Cuba, two pianos,
two of the Cubic symphonies, andEddie Campbell in the ordinary Canter is speaking,
He's a canvas. Speak you here, scattering. Rubenov is next,
and seriously, I'd like to sayright here, it isn't be the pleasure
(15:56):
to work on this program with areally great violin art of like ruvenoph Rubenov
isn't listening now, you know,I'm no fool. I have to do
them. It's the union, whatthey could do to my music, it's
my operations. Anyhow, we willnow hear that beautiful and familiar melodies,
the humorless there Irving Berlino or wasit roll or Dalanson? Anyhow, it's
(16:21):
all yours back back m beautiful,beautiful Rubenov. And would you believe it?
(20:45):
Ladies and gentlemen up on Flarrah,say yesterday, I thought numerous was
written by Fanny Hurst so broadly inthis radio work. And what a hot
violinit that Rubenov? What whatever?Why did you say, Rubenov? No?
No. Huber is a comedian you. He scays, it's not the
unique, it's hums and they hangit. You n Another thing, ladies
(24:06):
and gentlemen, another thing. Theelect Camper president, and I will get
a law passed making it a specialoffense to wrap lump sugar in pipe paper
jackets, I thank you, Andspeaking of sugar, what this company needs
is more dunking of donuts and coffee. The science of Duncans should be taught
(24:27):
in our public schools. Three Duncanclinics should be established in all large cities.
Prizes should be awarded annually to thebest dunker. Why duncan? Look?
Could you ever see a fellow dunkingof donut and coffee that he didn't
look happy? Of course, nowyour dunker is a happy man. He
(24:47):
is happy because he dunk, andhe dunk because he is happy. When
we see a nation of dunker,the depression will be over. And look
at all the coffee that will besold. Are you listening, mister Sanborne,
positively, mister kay As I wassaying, dunking is an old custom.
The first dunker was Sailoh's daughter.She dunked Moses twice and the River
(25:10):
Niles. Of course, we havehad other important dunkers since then. Take
Captain Kidd, for instance, whenhe dunk a man, that man stay
dunk to day is difference. Therules of dunking are laid down in every
book of etiquette. Emily Post says, you must never dunk above the knuckles.
Some people are reaching for hours ina jar, dunk up to the
(25:33):
elbow. That's not duncan. That'sbathing. And the best dunker's never bathe.
Believe me, I know some ofmy best friends are dunkings. Why
dunking is such a great art?Why if people have named their children after
name their children after sure? Didyou ever hear of the Duncan sisters and
(25:55):
dun Kiyote's Oh well, after all, let it go? You've heard the
Duncan's song from student him. Well, listen to this for you. Everybody
(26:17):
has a complex for a certain things. Some like bees, some like trees,
some like birds the things I havea complex for my own that no
one's had before. There is justone thing on earth that I keep frying
for. Oh, I don't care, but go for tennis. Don't like
Paris, don't like tennis. Ilove potato pancakes. You can have those
(26:44):
red hot mammas with or with ourbeef pajamas. I O take potato pancakes.
I was hinted for feeding in mybrand who rose roys. The judge
was very nice to me. Hegave me my choice. He up the
knee and loudly hollers twenty names ortwenty dollars. I to potato pancakes while
(27:08):
the light burns into people. OrRevere tried wasting people. I've got potato
a pancakes. You know that tatticHenry should I've reckoned liberty or death comes
second? Hear me tootato a pancakesand another thing? Oh, they bring
him straight now the terrible match whenas dead as wer he made that famous
(27:34):
to dress. He said, bythe people, for the people of the
people, who wants people? Iwant potato pancakes and cot Hollywood means nothing
to me. If I'm wrong,go on and sue me. I love
potato pancakes. Movie queen to tryto court me. He even offered to
(27:57):
support me. But I want potatopancakes. One day Marlin Dietrich called me.
A found the pone. I wentto a house and she was there
all alone. She said sweetheart,I'll never leave you anything you want I
gave you, So why cook potatopancakes? The Chase of Sanborn, our
(28:23):
ladies and gentlemen with Rubenov handicapped byCanada. I hope you're enjoying it.
Did I hear a gentleman in Columbus, Ohio? Say? Please, come,
come now? Let's have cooperation here. Let's give Candor a chance after
all of mister Stanborne and satisfied?Should you complain? S m Eddie,
(33:52):
You're in a position to help yourcountry out of his skis. Want to
tell about something of your plans?You know, I've worked stout a plan
for Yank prosperity around that corner.I have a five year plan with Russian
dressing, a ten year endowment planand one hundred payment life. Now,
of course, I could say toyou, if you want to know about
(34:13):
candis plans, go buy kandas books. But I wouldn't do that. After
all, what would Chase and Sanbornthink? We are filling coffee tonight?
M book? So I wouldn't sayto you that you didn't get Kanda's book
for a dollar anyhow, who's gota dollar? No, I wouldn't say
things like that, I'm too bighearted. I'll tell you about my plans
free. I have lots of plans, but the first one I would try
(34:35):
if elected is my great doubling system. I'm surprised nobody has thought it as
before. How can we put morepeople to work right away? Here's the
answer. Why should there be onlynine men on a baseball team? Put
eighteen on each side, and thedouble employment. And why only a football
eleven? We could have sixty menon a team, and one hundred and
(34:57):
twenty piled on one another in theskimages. It would add to the complete
games. Above all, that ismore wasteful than to have one Jackie on
a horse, the smallest horse,and carry two jackis and some horses re
so far back to the home.Four two cow things would improve at once.
If judges went in pairs and watchedeach other, the entire depression could
(35:19):
be cured overnight. All you needto do is to double up. You
can go along on this cantor program. Two chauffeurs in each car, two
flummers for each leap, two captainson each ship, and two presidents for
each turn. And now canter thingsagain. Who's going to prevent him.
Eddie, you're in a position tohelp this country out of a stiff party,
(35:43):
or to tell us something of yourplans. You mean, I've worked
out a plan for Yank's prosperity aroundthat corner. I have a five year
plan with Russian dressing, a tenyear endowment plan and one hundred payment life.
Now, of course I could sayto you, if you want to
know about canvas plans, go buyCandace books. But I wouldn't do that.
After all, that's would chasing Sanbornthink. We are selling coffee tonight,
(36:07):
not book. So I wouldn't sayto you that you can get Canada's
book for a dollar anyhow, who'sgot a dollar? No, I wouldn't
say things like that. I'm toobig hearted. I'll tell you about my
plans, Freeze. I have lotsof plans, but the first one I
would try if elected is my greatdoubling system. I'm surprised nobody has thought
it as before. How can weput more people to work right away?
(36:30):
Here's the answer. Why should therebe only nine men on a baseball team
two to eighteen on east side?And the double employment, and why only
a football eleven? We could havesixty men on the team and one hundred
and twenty piled on one another inthe skimmages. It would add to the
continue game. Above all that ismore wasteful than to have one jockey on
(36:52):
a horse. The smallest horse cancarry to jockeys, and some horses to
reach so far back they can holdfour. Looking would improve at once.
If judges went in pairs and watchedeach other, the entire depression could be
cured overnight. All you need todo is to double up. You can
go along on this canda program.Two chauffeurs in each car, two plumbers
(37:14):
for each leak, two captains oneach ship, and two presidents for each
term. And now cantor things again. Who's going to prevent him? Some
(37:39):
post me atmosphere and they're making love, They say, old mother Nature,
make love land. I've got myown idea attaining to love. If you're
a row media your longer sand.It isn't the paddle, I's not the
(38:00):
you. It isn't the river,the skies that are blue. It isn't
the love dream that brings joy toyou. It's the girl. It's the
girl. It isn't the brooklet thatyou want. The tube. It isn't
the mountains the flowers are dew.It isn't the lovens that brings love to
(38:25):
you. It's the girl. It'sthe girl. Even though are times you
often die them what a only worldwould be with all dam It isn't the
song bird, The song that's athing. It isn't the sunshine that makes
(38:47):
you like drings. But what isthis magic that makes love the thing?
It's the girl. It's the girl. It isn't the mood of heavenly blue.
It isn't the fall light makes youbill and cools. It isn't the
(39:07):
shadows encouraging you. It's the girl, all that girl. It isn't the
wild wood that makes the cat raise. It isn't the darkness that makes you
so brave. And it's not yourconscience that makes you behave. It's the
(39:30):
GUYO hits that GUYO on the wayhome for some lunch. You take her
to a little bite. You gladlysay her you think it will cost you
six fift at the most, becauseshe said, now, honey, I'll
lord it you just some tea andsome coats. Who starts with fruit salads
(39:53):
and ends up with the road.It's the girl God loves it's the girl,
and there you are girls. Howmuch for the woman's votes. Mister
Rubenos and his Brooklyn Yankees will nowgive us Eliza James now the interneen you're
(41:15):
going again, and the sections ofthe land. Mr and mine will call
in mine and playing. I'll givehim a hand first. The thing too
many to give each names, youknow, violins and things. I hear
you many things. And now threeof the thanks are ready to go.
(41:42):
So we'll just wait and see ourLarry, Henry and Mittle Joel's can get
along without the four that's me firstcomfort seconds, tom Bo, you'll never
(42:05):
hear anything about that rant's quality,rhythm of this blame class. Now,
I never time for everything, soI'll pet the boy up and ask them
to think. We go now fromthe ridiculous. That's means we go from
(42:54):
the ridiculous to hubernots. The caseof sam Bourne conductive plays, Mason ase
ellergies. Ah, what a manthat ruben Up? What a man and
what an energy day. This isstill the chasing sam Born hour, Ladies
(47:55):
and Gentlemen, directed by Rubenos andexplained by Canda Rubenov and his Russian rules
render Mini the motor didn't Eddie?You know one way to be elects you
(50:45):
make commenting for the mood oh Rubythat was swelled. Next week, Ladies
(53:22):
and gentlemen, let's all get togetherfor another swell Rubenop program interrupted constantly by
Canda, who will be wrapped intelephone to retain his pressure. Next week
(54:02):
Eddie Canter will offer another planket isplus parity platform, the famous banana plant
both for counters and the fold dinnerpail full of potato pancakes. You'll announcer
James Walling. The Jason Sanborne Hourhas come to you from the MDC Studios
(55:12):
in New York.
This is the Taiston Sanborn Hour,directed by Rubenov, Darling, Eddie Tapper,
American's foremost comedian, Rubenov and hisviolin. Are you listening in folks
(01:53):
hunts? This is your old pal, Lady Camper, just to calling around
for a good whose visit with you? All? Screw yourself up in an
easy chair by the girl fireplace,folk, and we'll smoke a hearing together.
Te on line the morn, keepshoe high, shining on the wall,
(02:23):
Sy youmted? Just a bit later, do you mind? Oh please
leave me along ame a one themoon, keep shine high, start on
the warm just a minute. I'mafraid there's something wrong here. You see.
(02:44):
We want to lead up to yourreference a bit more gradually. We
want to do a little building upfor you, you know, sort of
build up a big entrance. See. Okay, So go on buildings saying
these times I should stop somebody frombuildings. All line up, moon deep
shine shine. Wait a minute,say oh for good mistakes, I'll get
(03:10):
killed. I'm on the wrong program. Oh that's all right, Eddie.
We all make our little mistake.That's why we have an election every four
year. Exactly. We'll get alongwith that construction work. Now, if
you don't mind, Rubinov will takecare of building up for Cant With an
overtre medley of Eddie's song from Whoopies, Hit Boots and the Folly, he
calls the number Eddie cantor Memory andthe things can and can remember? Would
(03:32):
you be surprised? Are you listeningpool? Are you listening to mister Goldstett
(05:16):
Supt Past to act at a step? As you know, Ladies and gentlemen,
(09:05):
our mister Canter is not only Americansfirst comedian, he is also a
literary celebrity and a rising statesman toboot, a statesman to boot, there's
an idea. Yeah, I thoughtyou'd get a kick out of that one,
Eddie. Wait, wait a minute, who's the comedian here? As
I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, our mister Canter is a brilliant statesman
as well as a comedian. TheCatter five year plans for removing the well
(09:26):
known depression has outlined in Eddie's newbooks You Who Prosperity has been hailed by
right thinking citizens everywhere as pretty darnmystic. Already the word goes wrong?
What about Canner? In nineteen thirtytwo. In fact, ladies and gentlemen,
cater and prosperity are just around thecorner. Only Eddie has arrived first,
and so we give you for President, the Honorable mister Eddie Can.
(09:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, My hat isin the my hat is in the ring,
and my overcoat is in the hotThanks you, citizens, Thank you.
After all, is it so strangethat I should be president? Haven't
we had twenty fellows in office before? While we've still got them. There's
(10:20):
only one trouble. Maybe I couldn'tbe president on account of my connection with
Flow, Zickbell and Sam Goldwyn.You know, Flow and Sam are now
right in the middle of a bigfight over my services this winter. Vicktel
wants me to work for Goldman,and Goldwyn wants me to work for Zick
Beel. They elect candor president andthey'll both win. Anyhow, it's time
(10:41):
something was done about this here now, this what is it? They call
it? Oh? Yes, aboutthis depression. It's terrible, you know,
things are so bad. My friendGlaucho Mark tells me that on the
Boston Commons the pigeons are now feedingthe people post on up. Everything is
(11:01):
cheap but nobody is buying, eventhose who don't intend to pay on buying.
Everybody is saving up for a rainyday. If they only knew it.
It's pouring pitchfork right now. Still, don't despair. Remember the proverbs
when the wolf is at the door, look for the silver linings. The
(11:22):
elect canter, and the wolf wasdying laughing. In my own case,
the depression bored a strange results.Before the crash, I had a million
dollars, a house, three cars, and four daughters. Now all I've
got left with five daughters. Othershave cut down on everything. I know
families who own the states and belongto fashionable golf clops. Now they live
(11:45):
in caves, and to keep upappearances, they play miniature golf with tapioca
and proof fixed at the summer results. This year millions of Mosquitos died of
hunger. They couldn't find any peopleworth fighting. And I know some Higelos,
not intimately, who had been reducedto dancing with each other. In
(12:05):
the spring of nineteen twenty nine,my broke His wife wandered as talking birds,
and I sent her a parrot.The crash made her a widow,
and I went to see her.How did you like the parrot, I
asked her. It had a wonderfulsense of humor, she said, but
the meat were so tough sill.The depression has done some good. It
(12:28):
stopped the farmers from crying for relief. They got spightened when they sure how
the city folks were relieved, andhow things have changed though. Stop guilts
are now taken seriously and put intopractice. Armenia has put up an imitation
barrier to seep out the sarving Americans. And nowadays we look forward eagerly to
(12:48):
Rockefeller's dimes. But he called backthe dimes he gave away last year,
both of them. We found outwhat Arthur is. They meant when he
said your hands still this country short? He meant, if you sell it
any shorter, the Indians will buya bag. He found out what no
one meant when he said the countryis on the Pollard foundation. It has
(13:09):
to be. It hit rock bottom. So there's only one thing left to
do. The left camper cancer singsong after all, Voover or Rouso even
sing, and citizens will not himcomage with a megaphone where you can see
for my first song Tonight, ladies, and gentlemen, I'm gonna play safe.
(13:33):
I'm going to sing. My babyjust cares for me. Some whoopies
with all your I'm so happy sincethe day start, I fell in love
(13:54):
in a great big way, Tampafixed surprise that someone loves me too.
That's a part for you to seejust what anyone could see and me.
But it only goes to prove whatlove can do. My baby don't care
for show. My baby don't carefor clothes. My baby just care for
(14:18):
me. My baby don't care forfor them, lady for my baby,
don't care for high tone pleasure.My baby don't care for rings or other
expensive things. She's then for thelasting. My baby don't care more.
(14:43):
My baby just care for me.My baby's no Coleman fan blar Gable is
not her man. My baby justcares for me. My baby here Paul
Lawrence Hibbert, she'd rather have meall around here Hibbert Bard Rogers is not
(15:09):
her style. And even Chevalier smileif something that he can see. I
wonder what's wrong with the baby.My baby cares for me. Yeah,
yes, here we are. Thisis the shafty Sanborn. Now, ladies
(15:33):
and gentlemen with Rubenov, Rubanov violins, ten other fiddles, three taxophones,
one French horns, two thumb bones, one based Cuba, two pianos,
two of the Cubic symphonies, andEddie Campbell in the ordinary Canter is speaking,
He's a canvas. Speak you here, scattering. Rubenov is next,
and seriously, I'd like to sayright here, it isn't be the pleasure
(15:56):
to work on this program with areally great violin art of like ruvenoph Rubenov
isn't listening now, you know,I'm no fool. I have to do
them. It's the union, whatthey could do to my music, it's
my operations. Anyhow, we willnow hear that beautiful and familiar melodies,
the humorless there Irving Berlino or wasit roll or Dalanson? Anyhow, it's
(16:21):
all yours back back m beautiful,beautiful Rubenov. And would you believe it?
(20:45):
Ladies and gentlemen up on Flarrah,say yesterday, I thought numerous was
written by Fanny Hurst so broadly inthis radio work. And what a hot
violinit that Rubenov? What whatever?Why did you say, Rubenov? No?
No. Huber is a comedian you. He scays, it's not the
unique, it's hums and they hangit. You n Another thing, ladies
(24:06):
and gentlemen, another thing. Theelect Camper president, and I will get
a law passed making it a specialoffense to wrap lump sugar in pipe paper
jackets, I thank you, Andspeaking of sugar, what this company needs
is more dunking of donuts and coffee. The science of Duncans should be taught
(24:27):
in our public schools. Three Duncanclinics should be established in all large cities.
Prizes should be awarded annually to thebest dunker. Why duncan? Look?
Could you ever see a fellow dunkingof donut and coffee that he didn't
look happy? Of course, nowyour dunker is a happy man. He
(24:47):
is happy because he dunk, andhe dunk because he is happy. When
we see a nation of dunker,the depression will be over. And look
at all the coffee that will besold. Are you listening, mister Sanborne,
positively, mister kay As I wassaying, dunking is an old custom.
The first dunker was Sailoh's daughter.She dunked Moses twice and the River
(25:10):
Niles. Of course, we havehad other important dunkers since then. Take
Captain Kidd, for instance, whenhe dunk a man, that man stay
dunk to day is difference. Therules of dunking are laid down in every
book of etiquette. Emily Post says, you must never dunk above the knuckles.
Some people are reaching for hours ina jar, dunk up to the
(25:33):
elbow. That's not duncan. That'sbathing. And the best dunker's never bathe.
Believe me, I know some ofmy best friends are dunkings. Why
dunking is such a great art?Why if people have named their children after
name their children after sure? Didyou ever hear of the Duncan sisters and
(25:55):
dun Kiyote's Oh well, after all, let it go? You've heard the
Duncan's song from student him. Well, listen to this for you. Everybody
(26:17):
has a complex for a certain things. Some like bees, some like trees,
some like birds the things I havea complex for my own that no
one's had before. There is justone thing on earth that I keep frying
for. Oh, I don't care, but go for tennis. Don't like
Paris, don't like tennis. Ilove potato pancakes. You can have those
(26:44):
red hot mammas with or with ourbeef pajamas. I O take potato pancakes.
I was hinted for feeding in mybrand who rose roys. The judge
was very nice to me. Hegave me my choice. He up the
knee and loudly hollers twenty names ortwenty dollars. I to potato pancakes while
(27:08):
the light burns into people. OrRevere tried wasting people. I've got potato
a pancakes. You know that tatticHenry should I've reckoned liberty or death comes
second? Hear me tootato a pancakesand another thing? Oh, they bring
him straight now the terrible match whenas dead as wer he made that famous
(27:34):
to dress. He said, bythe people, for the people of the
people, who wants people? Iwant potato pancakes and cot Hollywood means nothing
to me. If I'm wrong,go on and sue me. I love
potato pancakes. Movie queen to tryto court me. He even offered to
(27:57):
support me. But I want potatopancakes. One day Marlin Dietrich called me.
A found the pone. I wentto a house and she was there
all alone. She said sweetheart,I'll never leave you anything you want I
gave you, So why cook potatopancakes? The Chase of Sanborn, our
(28:23):
ladies and gentlemen with Rubenov handicapped byCanada. I hope you're enjoying it.
Did I hear a gentleman in Columbus, Ohio? Say? Please, come,
come now? Let's have cooperation here. Let's give Candor a chance after
all of mister Stanborne and satisfied?Should you complain? S m Eddie,
(33:52):
You're in a position to help yourcountry out of his skis. Want to
tell about something of your plans?You know, I've worked stout a plan
for Yank prosperity around that corner.I have a five year plan with Russian
dressing, a ten year endowment planand one hundred payment life. Now,
of course, I could say toyou, if you want to know about
(34:13):
candis plans, go buy kandas books. But I wouldn't do that. After
all, what would Chase and Sanbornthink? We are filling coffee tonight?
M book? So I wouldn't sayto you that you didn't get Kanda's book
for a dollar anyhow, who's gota dollar? No, I wouldn't say
things like that, I'm too bighearted. I'll tell you about my plans
free. I have lots of plans, but the first one I would try
(34:35):
if elected is my great doubling system. I'm surprised nobody has thought it as
before. How can we put morepeople to work right away? Here's the
answer. Why should there be onlynine men on a baseball team? Put
eighteen on each side, and thedouble employment. And why only a football
eleven? We could have sixty menon a team, and one hundred and
(34:57):
twenty piled on one another in theskimages. It would add to the complete
games. Above all, that ismore wasteful than to have one Jackie on
a horse, the smallest horse,and carry two jackis and some horses re
so far back to the home.Four two cow things would improve at once.
If judges went in pairs and watchedeach other, the entire depression could
(35:19):
be cured overnight. All you needto do is to double up. You
can go along on this cantor program. Two chauffeurs in each car, two
flummers for each leap, two captainson each ship, and two presidents for
each turn. And now canter thingsagain. Who's going to prevent him.
Eddie, you're in a position tohelp this country out of a stiff party,
(35:43):
or to tell us something of yourplans. You mean, I've worked
out a plan for Yank's prosperity aroundthat corner. I have a five year
plan with Russian dressing, a tenyear endowment plan and one hundred payment life.
Now, of course I could sayto you, if you want to
know about canvas plans, go buyCandace books. But I wouldn't do that.
After all, that's would chasing Sanbornthink. We are selling coffee tonight,
(36:07):
not book. So I wouldn't sayto you that you can get Canada's
book for a dollar anyhow, who'sgot a dollar? No, I wouldn't
say things like that. I'm toobig hearted. I'll tell you about my
plans, Freeze. I have lotsof plans, but the first one I
would try if elected is my greatdoubling system. I'm surprised nobody has thought
it as before. How can weput more people to work right away?
(36:30):
Here's the answer. Why should therebe only nine men on a baseball team
two to eighteen on east side?And the double employment, and why only
a football eleven? We could havesixty men on the team and one hundred
and twenty piled on one another inthe skimmages. It would add to the
continue game. Above all that ismore wasteful than to have one jockey on
(36:52):
a horse. The smallest horse cancarry to jockeys, and some horses to
reach so far back they can holdfour. Looking would improve at once.
If judges went in pairs and watchedeach other, the entire depression could be
cured overnight. All you need todo is to double up. You can
go along on this canda program.Two chauffeurs in each car, two plumbers
(37:14):
for each leak, two captains oneach ship, and two presidents for each
term. And now cantor things again. Who's going to prevent him? Some
(37:39):
post me atmosphere and they're making love, They say, old mother Nature,
make love land. I've got myown idea attaining to love. If you're
a row media your longer sand.It isn't the paddle, I's not the
(38:00):
you. It isn't the river,the skies that are blue. It isn't
the love dream that brings joy toyou. It's the girl. It's the
girl. It isn't the brooklet thatyou want. The tube. It isn't
the mountains the flowers are dew.It isn't the lovens that brings love to
(38:25):
you. It's the girl. It'sthe girl. Even though are times you
often die them what a only worldwould be with all dam It isn't the
song bird, The song that's athing. It isn't the sunshine that makes
(38:47):
you like drings. But what isthis magic that makes love the thing?
It's the girl. It's the girl. It isn't the mood of heavenly blue.
It isn't the fall light makes youbill and cools. It isn't the
(39:07):
shadows encouraging you. It's the girl, all that girl. It isn't the
wild wood that makes the cat raise. It isn't the darkness that makes you
so brave. And it's not yourconscience that makes you behave. It's the
(39:30):
GUYO hits that GUYO on the wayhome for some lunch. You take her
to a little bite. You gladlysay her you think it will cost you
six fift at the most, becauseshe said, now, honey, I'll
lord it you just some tea andsome coats. Who starts with fruit salads
(39:53):
and ends up with the road.It's the girl God loves it's the girl,
and there you are girls. Howmuch for the woman's votes. Mister
Rubenos and his Brooklyn Yankees will nowgive us Eliza James now the interneen you're
(41:15):
going again, and the sections ofthe land. Mr and mine will call
in mine and playing. I'll givehim a hand first. The thing too
many to give each names, youknow, violins and things. I hear
you many things. And now threeof the thanks are ready to go.
(41:42):
So we'll just wait and see ourLarry, Henry and Mittle Joel's can get
along without the four that's me firstcomfort seconds, tom Bo, you'll never
(42:05):
hear anything about that rant's quality,rhythm of this blame class. Now,
I never time for everything, soI'll pet the boy up and ask them
to think. We go now fromthe ridiculous. That's means we go from
(42:54):
the ridiculous to hubernots. The caseof sam Bourne conductive plays, Mason ase
ellergies. Ah, what a manthat ruben Up? What a man and
what an energy day. This isstill the chasing sam Born hour, Ladies
(47:55):
and Gentlemen, directed by Rubenos andexplained by Canda Rubenov and his Russian rules
render Mini the motor didn't Eddie?You know one way to be elects you
(50:45):
make commenting for the mood oh Rubythat was swelled. Next week, Ladies
(53:22):
and gentlemen, let's all get togetherfor another swell Rubenop program interrupted constantly by
Canda, who will be wrapped intelephone to retain his pressure. Next week
(54:02):
Eddie Canter will offer another planket isplus parity platform, the famous banana plant
both for counters and the fold dinnerpail full of potato pancakes. You'll announcer
James Walling. The Jason Sanborne Hourhas come to you from the MDC Studios
(55:12):
in New York.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!