June 19, 2024 • 37 mins
Whew….Life be LIFE-ING! On today’s episode we are talking about how to keep your cool (or not) in the midst of crazy circumstances beyond your control. Ask me how I know…..I’m sharing a particular story in real time about how life happened to me in the midst of my tour….thousands of miles from home. Tune in to this special story time and PLEASE share your thoughts. I would love to know what you think!
As always, you can learn more about the podcast & join the email list at: http://creativeinprocess.com and remember you can also leave a voice note (record a message directly on the website) to drop your comments, feedback, and pose questions that you want to hear on future episodes!
Today’s background music has been provided by: Lofi Astronaut
check them out at: https://spoti.fi/3c3MEiV
Follow me on social media at: @NialandMusic
Follow the podcast page at: @CreativeINProcess
Please share this podcast and like, comment, share, and subscribe from wherever you are tuned in…it helps SO much….I’m new here, let’s grow this together!
Enjoy!
As always, you can learn more about the podcast & join the email list at: http://creativeinprocess.com and remember you can also leave a voice note (record a message directly on the website) to drop your comments, feedback, and pose questions that you want to hear on future episodes!
Today’s background music has been provided by: Lofi Astronaut
check them out at: https://spoti.fi/3c3MEiV
Follow me on social media at: @NialandMusic
Follow the podcast page at: @CreativeINProcess
Please share this podcast and like, comment, share, and subscribe from wherever you are tuned in…it helps SO much….I’m new here, let’s grow this together!
Enjoy!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
♪
(00:12):
♪ I'm in process, a working progress ♪
♪ If something's urgent, I do that surface ♪
♪ Like one tap to myself, until that step gives me all purpose ♪
♪ If all we work is, if something's process ♪
♪ I'm working progress, if something's urgent ♪
♪ I do that surface, like one tap to myself, until that step gives me all purpose ♪
(00:35):
♪ If all we work is, if something's... ♪
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Creative Inprocess podcast.
I am your host, Nealand, music artist, singer, songwriter in case this is your first time here.
(01:00):
This is a Creative Inprocess podcast, which is a creatively thoughtful podcast for thoughtful creatives who like podcasts.
See what I do there?
If this is your first time here, welcome.
And if it's not, you may be looking and thinking like every time I tell you, there's a different background.
If you're watching on YouTube, if you're just listening then, you don't know what I'm talking about, that's okay too.
(01:23):
But, just to pay the picture for those that are listening, I do change my background because I've been in different places since the podcast.
I'm on tour right now.
I'm currently in New Jersey, getting ready to go off into New York to perform actually.
Tonight, this is the final night of my spring tour.
It's been about a week and a half that I've been on a roll, so it's a small run tour.
(01:46):
But a tour nonetheless of the East Coast, and it's been amazing, and it's been very interesting at the same time.
We're going to talk about that too.
But, that is why my same changes.
So welcome to my Airbnb.
It's all swanky.
I had to improvise and still make it look glowing festive in here, so I think I did what I could do.
But, this is where we're at.
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But, it's not about the visual as much as it's about the conversation.
So, that's why we're here.
And so, we're going to jump right into this episode because I do have to leave to perform.
But, I wanted to get this out to have this conversation because this has been a very interesting time.
(02:28):
Y'all, are you all ready for this story time?
Like I said before, like I'm sharing not only experiences related to me doing musical things and creative things, but life stuff.
So, let's talk about life stuff. But, before we do that, if you've been to previous episodes, you know that I kind of have integrated these different quotes from artists that I am inspired by, and that sort of thing.
(02:54):
And I have one today.
And it's fitting because I have a little bit, I don't know if you can tell, but it's a little bit of a purple light in here, right?
And when I think about purple, I think about prints.
Let me say this on a side note.
There is such a void in my life now that prints is not here, like legitimately.
I didn't know prints personally, never met them, never been to concert.
(03:16):
When prints was at the height of his career, like when he was in his white height moment, I was too young to really appreciate the music.
But as I got older, I began to love prints.
And I used to think people were so weird when they would have like the purple parties and all that kind of stuff.
Like, y'all don't wait too much.
But I get it now.
I'm not prince with different, and he reminds me so much of, he's just an inspiration to just truly, truly being exactly who you are and not being faced by everyone's perception of what they think you should be and all that kind of stuff.
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So it just really speaks to me.
So God bless him.
If he was still here, I would definitely be trying to find my way to him for sure.
But he is going to give us our quotes today, and it's going to lead us into a talk about some.
This quote is from the legendary, the iconic prints, Rajas Nelson.
There are no accidents.
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And if there are, it's up to us to look at them as something else.
And that bravery is what creates new flowers.
Just poet, and he just be talking.
So there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason, all the things in our perspective and the way that we look at them affects.
(04:33):
It affects how we move forward and how we go through the things that happen in our lives.
So here we go.
I'm on this tour, gone from home, from like a good, a solid like nine days from city to city to city up these coasts.
So you know, flights happening, some, some drive in from city to city type of things going on.
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Had to pack for all these days, thinking about what I had to wear on the day to day, what I'm going to wear on my off days, packing all of my merch that I have.
Like I made, I have several like t-shirts and different little merch items that I tour with big, huge banners and all the things that I do.
If you've ever come to a live show, I have like a set up, like a really cool set up with all of my things.
(05:23):
And so they travel with me.
So I created my own little system for packing to have everything that I needed to be gone just a amount of time and not have a million bags.
I'm like, let me just pack my big old, you know, suitcase that you check, put everything in there that I need, have my little carry on bag.
And for my essential items, then go with the flow, it would be good. I packed early, it was wonderful.
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Ready, had everything good to go.
Get to the airport and there was some type of technical something happening, right?
Where there was just like an extremely insane long line for people to turn their bags in, they were checking.
And so I'm waiting in the line, I was still early for my flight, so I wasn't really tripping that hard because the line wasn't going super slow,
(06:11):
but it was like, you all need a few more people up here.
So they started bringing more people up to help and expedited the line a bit.
I get to the front of the line and I'm getting ready to check my bags, have everything, you know, ready to go, ready for my flight, all that kind of stuff.
And the clerk tells me, oh, I can't check this bag, it's too late.
And I was like, is it too late? Is it really, I don't know about that, still, you know, I still got a decent amount of time, you know.
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And I'm not too far from where I'm going to, where I have to go.
So she proceeds to tell me, no, I can't check it, but maybe you can just carry it with you on the plane.
Ma'am, this is an oversized check bag. This is not a carry on.
I just literally know where for this to go. So for you to suggest that I go along onto my flight through security,
(07:00):
you won't even fit on the like security belt to go through the thing because it's not made for those size bags.
So I was like, I don't think that's correct and I don't think that you should be like suggesting that's it if you need one.
So she goes and I get to get some manager and her manager like, you know, whisper something and they're like, just, you know, take the bag, it's fine.
Whatever that was about, okay, took the bag and it was at that moment I was thinking, yeah, I'm probably not going to see these bags when I get to my destination.
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Just because of what was happening, it's how I feel.
And so, but I'm like, what do you have to do? I have to get on my flight.
So I go get on my flight, everything's cool with that. Get to my next destination to Philly.
And I get to Philly, get off the plane, go to baggage claim.
And so, there and starts the process of all of the things.
(07:51):
So, filing a claim and, you know, trying to get a touch with where I came from, my hometown, Chicago airport.
Trying to figure out where my bags went if they got on the plane, all this stuff.
There is no trace of them anywhere. They don't even know if the bags made it on the plane to begin with or if they've been sent out on a sec, like a sec, or a flight or anything.
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Anything, no communication, no one is communicating from Chicago.
So if somebody from over here, airport sees this, do better, specifically frontier airlines.
And before y'all start saying something like, what else would you give a fly frontier?
I'll have you know, I've never had an issue with frontier.
Like, never. I know people say that about frontier in spirit.
(08:37):
And the plane does stuff like they give you to the destination.
So I'm not tripping on that. And especially for shorter flights, I don't mind.
But frontier has never been problematic for me. It's always been, you know, cool.
And on top of that, frontier was literally the only flight available for the time that I needed to get ready just to go because it was like a change up in my schedule and all that kind of stuff.
So anyway, I was not expecting it to be what it was, but frontier at O'Hare specifically because I worked with frontier in other places, other states and stuff.
(09:06):
They were all very helpful. Frontier is Chicago, O'Hare Airport.
Yeah, these kids get them. But anyway, I digress. So get to Philadelphia, have no back.
So that becomes a thing of, you literally, you literally haven't showed tonight.
You have no clothes, you have no toiletries, you have nothing.
So now you have to go shopping and get all these things.
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So I proceed to do that. Go shopping, get having all this up within, you know, having hours to get all of these things together.
So I have to go do that, get checked into my hotel and all of those things.
So I'm doing all of that stuff on top of that trying to mentally prepare to perform in a new city that I've never performed in, never performed in Philadelphia before.
(09:48):
So all of these things happening and going on.
And again, this is at the start of my journey. And I still have a whole week plus to go.
And so I'm just hoping a brand like I hope they, you know, recover my luggage and send it to me, you know, while I'm here.
So I don't have to keep shopping every day.
I'm at the end of my tour, still no backs, but we'll get to that part.
(10:10):
So all of that happening, having to go day by day, being very creative.
Like, what am I going to wear? How am I going to make this into an outfit and then switch it up and make that into an outfit?
And how do I maximize my, you know, what I have as far as my bags.
And then, you know, I'm going to be one of my Airbnb hosts at one of the spots, gave me a little carry on.
(10:36):
So I said, okay, cool. Got some extra stuff to carry.
My things were so I'm not just carrying a bunch of shopping bags, which is what I had initially.
So all of this stuff happening, still trying to mentally prepare for a show and trying to do all these things.
And it got to a point where day after day going back for this, especially when it's like, when people don't want to help you, they don't want to quote them,
they don't want to do their job and they don't see or understand that like you are having your personal crisis and while it's not their issue, if you work, if you're a part of it because of the company who work for help people out, like I just don't understand.
(11:08):
Anyway, so day by day, having to figure out how to be strategic, even with finances, how do you, you know, make sure that you're spending money wisely because you got to buy clothes.
So what the next day is going to hold you. I know you're going to need for the next day and all this stuff getting tied up and all of this stuff.
Nightmare, okay.
But I went ahead and did the show and Philly. The show was absolutely beautiful and actually having this experience, I did begin to share it with the audience.
(11:38):
And it brought in a deeper level of connection, I feel like because everyone there began to just kind of sympathize with my situation.
I thought I was looking for sympathy or anything, but they kind of felt where I was, but it became more of a thing of like, wow, you still showed up in the midst of something like that happened to you still came and you still performed, you still gave it your all and all of that kind of stuff.
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And it was a really, really beautiful night. So even though I left the show knowing I'm going back to figure out what to do next with clothes and all of those other annoyances.
I had to decide that night, that okay, I don't know if I'm going to get these bags again, but I can decide whether or not this is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to me.
(12:30):
Or if I'm going to find a way to make the most out of the situation that I'm in because literally it's out of my control.
If I wanted, if I could have had my bag with me, they would have been, if there was a way for me to control that, but it was out of my control, there's nothing that I could do.
The only thing that I could do was just journey forward and finish the tour, enjoy the time that I am away and share my music with the different audiences and all of that kind of stuff.
(12:57):
So that was the decision that I made and it was it's initially an easy thing. You know, sometimes you could be like, you got to do what you got to do, something you just show up and do the thing and get it over like, oh, let's just get this over with because I got no, I got my bags or whatever.
So instead of taking on that attitude, I had to decide like, okay, I can allow myself to be miserable in this or I can make the most out of the fact that I'm here, that this is a great experience for me, that I am an independent artist who happy ability and blessed with the opportunity to go out on a independent tour.
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You know, just trying to find all of these things to reset my perspective and think about it differently. If you are familiar with your music, there's a song that I have called What If I, it's on all the things and it kind of speaks to this whole concept of yes, things can be going terribly.
But if you think about it in a different way, you don't have to like sit in that total, you know, so that is how it's been now. So I feel better. I was able to like visit loved ones while I've been out and move around in a little different way because my plans had changed and, you know, just seeing a lot of the silver lining, some of the things that I like packed in a rush in my carry on bag because I didn't feel like stuff in it in my suitcase.
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Those ended up being like the essential things that I needed while I'm here, so I'm so glad I got these things with me and I didn't have to go find that or I wouldn't be able to, you know, do whatever.
So saying and sharing that, that to say and to tie it back into what the Prince quote was is that there are no accidents.
So everything has a reason for it and I believe for me at this point, it was for me to really see how I manage when, you know, it really hits the fan with things hit the wall.
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What is my instinctive decision and that was important to decide and to really realize because there was a time when panic, stress, all that was my first line of response and reason.
I freaked out, you know, there was times when things would happen and just, oh, you know, but I got to a point where I had to decide like, okay, things are happening but I have full control over how I respond to all the things that I'm doing.
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I respond to all of these things happening and I can also take the good out of what I'm in to hold me over while I'm navigating through this time.
So that's an encouragement to you to like be able to do that.
Now again, I don't get it right all the time, but I'm grateful at this point of my life to be able to see where I've come from and to be able to see where I've grown because this situation would have absolutely,
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would have been like, you know what, I'm finna leave, I'm not even gonna go.
Forget it 'cause you know, I'm finna go home because it's too much.
and da-da-da.
Like all of those things I could have, and this, this is the caveat on this, okay?
The reason why I ended up in Philadelphia with the frontier flight was because the night
before I was supposed to be in DC, my DC show was canceled, and so I had to rearrange
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my entire thing and decide, am I gonna go to DC and just not do anything or am I gonna
take advantage of this extra day, get myself some more room to prepare, my hair was done,
and I was packed but not completely still figuring things out, so a little bit of rush day
for me trying to pack and get to that first, you know, show in DC.
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So it worked itself out, it gave me extra time to prepare and that caused me to end up
having things shifted in my suitcase and deciding what to bring, what not, and there are some
things that I totally decided not to bring at all and left them at completely at home, and
I'm so glad because I'm like, oh, these things could have been lost forever.
And all of that, so you just gotta be mindful of that.
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And I think it's important, something that I'm learning, I'm personally, I'm in therapy
but I have been, I'm a very introspective person, so whenever something is happening
in my life, I by default check myself first for maybe two a fault, but I'm getting better
at it, I think, but I check myself in such a way that the last thing that I'm gonna do
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is make this someone else's issue, blame this on somebody else, make this somebody else's
fault, even if someone else was involved, I have to stop and check myself out.
Let me make sure that I am blameless in this before I move on to put this on somebody else
and all that kind of stuff, so it's just navigating through those life experiences and not allowing
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things to just happen and then you get beyond them and then you move on to the next thing,
like you really have to stop and assess what just happened to you in a way that causes you
to reflect and then get tools for the next thing, like, okay, this happened, that was a
lot.
So what have I learned from this and what am I gonna take with me for the next time,
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or something like this happens or all of these things, so just being conscious of those
things, I think is really important, especially navigating through this creative space because
you may cause yourself to do something that you can't undo because you're reacting to
life stuff and then it's coming out in your creativity or whatever you've done.
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Something that I had to be mindful of and I stopped doing it and I found the purpose in doing
it the right way is when I'm writing, sometimes I'll go through things and I'll write about
them, but there was a time when I would write from the reaction, meaning if somebody made
(18:59):
me upset, I'm writing from anger and I'm not writing from, let me share this story and
let me share where I am and how I feel and be honest and vulnerable and figure out what's
going on kind of thing.
It was just more like, let me get back at you or this thing and it leaves it open.
So the song is over, we have no resolution, we have nowhere to take this, it's just a song
(19:23):
to listen to, to agitate yourself all over again and you know there are those songs that are
you know what they call like a break the song or song you listen to when you want to get
amped up to like go fight or something like that and I think that there is, it's okay to
be vulnerable and honest in your music, I do it like that's all I do but I think there's
(19:48):
a responsibility to make sure your creation is going to age well you know.
So it's almost like if you have like a friend who was in like a toxic relationship and every
time there was some beef going on in their relationship they come to you and I always over
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and I can't do and then the next day like they back together you know that kind of stuff
was like after a while I don't know what to do with you and your decision making because
you're just gonna go back to the same thing that you're saying is not good for you why
don't you stop figure out what you feel decide why you want to be in this situation if
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you want to be in this situation and then go on it you know.
So I think that there's a processing that has to happen in a creative process that has
to happen to be able to move forward in a way that is going to be fruitful like it's actually
gonna bear fruit is gonna cause other things to happen and be created and all that it's
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not just a moment it's not just a situation or a circumstance so I would challenge you
because it's something that I've also learned to do is and it's helped me to again not react
to certain things.
Something goes wrong something happens that's unfavorable in my opinion I take a step back
and say okay what's happening what do I need to be aware of what I need to be sensitive
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to in this moment now that this is happening it's not just oh this happened in panic panic
freak out this happens let me think about this let me see what's going on here is this
something that I could have done differently to not make this happen is this my fault is
somebody else's fault if it is somebody else's fault are they going to do something are they
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aware that they did something you know so there's like a long list of things to evaluate
and maybe you may think that's overthinking or maybe you think that that's like doing too much
or or whatever but I just choose to live in a way that will keep me moving forward and
not setting me back it's okay if it keeps me still for a little while but I'm either
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going to move forward I'm gonna stay still until I get ready to move forward but nothing
that's going to take me back I know living spaces that cause me to revert so that is my my
story about this this whole happening so to get to the other side of it once I've decided
okay we're not going to trip we're going to make them most of this time you are doing your
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thing you are accomplishing things that maybe some years ago you may have never thought you
could you are meeting new people that love what you do and they're appreciative of your
gift and you're connecting and building your community and all these beautiful things
that was the intended point you know in the beginning are still happening is just some
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other little noise in the background that could have caused me to say you know I forget
I'm gonna leave go home and then guess what the people that I've met so far that I've connected
to the lives that I have connected with the stories that I've connected with would not
have happened or what those connections wouldn't have been made and who knows what other
doors are to come that would have been shut if I just decided the circumstances too much
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this temporary circumstance so much it's too much for me I'm just going to completely
shut down and not even consider the fact that I've been planning to do this for once
and now it's finally here of course it's going to be opposition when you're going for
imperposedly and you're doing something that is bigger than yourself for a greater purpose
of course it's going to come with opposition persecution you know circumstances and situations
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annoyances and irritants all of that yes it's going to happen however you get better and
better as a person which will in turn make you a stronger more effective and purposeful
creative when you take those moments process them think about what you've experienced and
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then go forward and move on to do new things so having made those decisions to change my
mind and to really shift my perspective and just consider you know the whole ordeal and
prepare myself because another thing that was happening in the midst of the initial chaos of
(24:23):
all this stuff happening I lost some stuff like I lost one of my credit cards I lost my my
little earbuds I lost one of them and you know little stupid things like that and once once that
stuff was happening because it all happened in one day I'm like okay let me cheer let me breathe
because this is now causing me to be a little erratic as far as like I'm not thinking through I'm not
(24:51):
being careful because I'm just like well this is all over place with minus well you know whatever
so having to take a step back and realize that if you don't calm down and focus you're going to add
to something and then it will become a part of your fall it will become something that you
had control over and lost control over if you don't get your head straight get your perspective
(25:16):
together you know reorganize get your thoughts in place and all that kind of stuff so once I got to
that point and I had to reset like okay girl get it together you're you're in this but you can get
through it just focus and do what you need to do once I did that days later this is now like this my
(25:38):
last day so no I won't have one more day this was about two or three days ago two days ago I get a
call you know I get a call from someone who basically says I'm reading your luggage tag I'm here
with your luggage you know is this you is this your name you're whatever yes it is where are you
(25:59):
where is my bag it's a Chicago so my bag is literally just rolling down a hallway of oh here airport
unhinged because literally front here did not carefully even store my bag not even if they didn't
put it on the plane they didn't say okay let's contact her let her know it didn't make it we're
(26:23):
gonna see like nothing that's a whole another tangent front of the day how they fungal that whole
situation and like did not handle with care at all so anyway someone not even related to the airline
called me having my bag in front of them so because of a cell in Chicago I ended up calling my mother
like hey could you just go to airport get my bag I don't want I don't want them having to do my stuff
(26:47):
like just be musk of because I do not want any other happenings and so that's where we are now is
you know trying to get my stuff and getting reimbursed for all of the expenses and all that kind
of stuff that's all that admin stuff that please know I'm gonna take care because I am miss
let me talk to somebody higher than you because we do people right around here so all of that
(27:13):
and look at that now I have my bag so I get to go home you know at some point or whatever I get them
and I will be able to have my stuff my belongings and everything is okay so it it cost me some
piece a little bit it caused me some inconvenience for sure but I'm okay I'm safe my things are okay
(27:33):
and they're you know located and all of that so now I can move forward and take the lesson which I
did have to evaluate like okay what was this for and just to show me and to train me up for like how to
endure situations out of your control in the moment in the midst of you know all kinds of stuff
(27:54):
happening dealing with things in a way that will bring me back to where I need to be to go for it so
my encouragement to you dear creative just know that everything happens for a reason
and like Prince said it's up to you to decide how you're going to see what it is that you see
(28:15):
change your perspective be okay with shifting and adjusting because that's the other part
you can have something happen and that may mean because it's happened you can't do the thing the
way that you would plan to do the thing good that you are prepared glad that you planned for
but now it's time to adjust and pivot and shift so that you're not still trying to force yourself
(28:40):
into one way when clearly the circumstance is calling for you to do something different so
be okay with what God showed you be okay with what he allowed and just reset and focus
and journey forward and take care of your business so that is my encouragement for today listen
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thank you for listening and tuning in to the creative and process podcast so far I am so excited
about what's to come I have some goodies on the way and I haven't even begin to like check my analytics
to see like cool watching how people are tuning in and all that kind of stuff it matters to me because
I would like to know if it's effective and if it's reaching in this the way that I'm kind of flowing
(29:27):
in things is working for you all but it's not something that I'm superpressive out right now because
I just wanted to grow and if nothing else this is a space where I'm sharing some things and even if
it's way down the line and you come across this I feel like at some point is going to affect
and touch people in a in a way that it needs to and that would be purposeful so I'm cool and like I
(29:53):
said in the beginning I love to run my mouth so give me some weird it's how they all they need
I'm gonna do it so thank you so much for tuning in please go to the creative and process website
which is down here it is the create it's creative and process.com in the show notes as always send
(30:14):
your feedback you can send me an actual voice mail message where you can just give feedback you
can ask a question you can even respond to today's topic and I will include it in future episodes
wherever I can so I would love to hear from you thank you so much again for tuning in whatever you
get ready to do now with your day whatever time you're tuning in go and be great and no matter what
(30:38):
happens whatever comes along decide to think positively and have the right perspective going
forward to get through it love you so much thank you so much for tuning in and until next time
have a good one peace out I gotta go get ready for the show so I'll let y'all know how that goes later bye
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♪
(00:12):
♪ I'm in process, a working progress ♪
♪ If something's urgent, I do that surface ♪
♪ Like one tap to myself, until that step gives me all purpose ♪
♪ If all we work is, if something's process ♪
♪ I'm working progress, if something's urgent ♪
♪ I do that surface, like one tap to myself, until that step gives me all purpose ♪
(00:35):
♪ If all we work is, if something's... ♪
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Creative Inprocess podcast.
I am your host, Nealand, music artist, singer, songwriter in case this is your first time here.
(01:00):
This is a Creative Inprocess podcast, which is a creatively thoughtful podcast for thoughtful creatives who like podcasts.
See what I do there?
If this is your first time here, welcome.
And if it's not, you may be looking and thinking like every time I tell you, there's a different background.
If you're watching on YouTube, if you're just listening then, you don't know what I'm talking about, that's okay too.
(01:23):
But, just to pay the picture for those that are listening, I do change my background because I've been in different places since the podcast.
I'm on tour right now.
I'm currently in New Jersey, getting ready to go off into New York to perform actually.
Tonight, this is the final night of my spring tour.
It's been about a week and a half that I've been on a roll, so it's a small run tour.
(01:46):
But a tour nonetheless of the East Coast, and it's been amazing, and it's been very interesting at the same time.
We're going to talk about that too.
But, that is why my same changes.
So welcome to my Airbnb.
It's all swanky.
I had to improvise and still make it look glowing festive in here, so I think I did what I could do.
But, this is where we're at.
(02:07):
But, it's not about the visual as much as it's about the conversation.
So, that's why we're here.
And so, we're going to jump right into this episode because I do have to leave to perform.
But, I wanted to get this out to have this conversation because this has been a very interesting time.
(02:28):
Y'all, are you all ready for this story time?
Like I said before, like I'm sharing not only experiences related to me doing musical things and creative things, but life stuff.
So, let's talk about life stuff. But, before we do that, if you've been to previous episodes, you know that I kind of have integrated these different quotes from artists that I am inspired by, and that sort of thing.
(02:54):
And I have one today.
And it's fitting because I have a little bit, I don't know if you can tell, but it's a little bit of a purple light in here, right?
And when I think about purple, I think about prints.
Let me say this on a side note.
There is such a void in my life now that prints is not here, like legitimately.
I didn't know prints personally, never met them, never been to concert.
(03:16):
When prints was at the height of his career, like when he was in his white height moment, I was too young to really appreciate the music.
But as I got older, I began to love prints.
And I used to think people were so weird when they would have like the purple parties and all that kind of stuff.
Like, y'all don't wait too much.
But I get it now.
I'm not prince with different, and he reminds me so much of, he's just an inspiration to just truly, truly being exactly who you are and not being faced by everyone's perception of what they think you should be and all that kind of stuff.
(03:50):
So it just really speaks to me.
So God bless him.
If he was still here, I would definitely be trying to find my way to him for sure.
But he is going to give us our quotes today, and it's going to lead us into a talk about some.
This quote is from the legendary, the iconic prints, Rajas Nelson.
There are no accidents.
(04:12):
And if there are, it's up to us to look at them as something else.
And that bravery is what creates new flowers.
Just poet, and he just be talking.
So there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason, all the things in our perspective and the way that we look at them affects.
(04:33):
It affects how we move forward and how we go through the things that happen in our lives.
So here we go.
I'm on this tour, gone from home, from like a good, a solid like nine days from city to city to city up these coasts.
So you know, flights happening, some, some drive in from city to city type of things going on.
(04:59):
Had to pack for all these days, thinking about what I had to wear on the day to day, what I'm going to wear on my off days, packing all of my merch that I have.
Like I made, I have several like t-shirts and different little merch items that I tour with big, huge banners and all the things that I do.
If you've ever come to a live show, I have like a set up, like a really cool set up with all of my things.
(05:23):
And so they travel with me.
So I created my own little system for packing to have everything that I needed to be gone just a amount of time and not have a million bags.
I'm like, let me just pack my big old, you know, suitcase that you check, put everything in there that I need, have my little carry on bag.
And for my essential items, then go with the flow, it would be good. I packed early, it was wonderful.
(05:48):
Ready, had everything good to go.
Get to the airport and there was some type of technical something happening, right?
Where there was just like an extremely insane long line for people to turn their bags in, they were checking.
And so I'm waiting in the line, I was still early for my flight, so I wasn't really tripping that hard because the line wasn't going super slow,
(06:11):
but it was like, you all need a few more people up here.
So they started bringing more people up to help and expedited the line a bit.
I get to the front of the line and I'm getting ready to check my bags, have everything, you know, ready to go, ready for my flight, all that kind of stuff.
And the clerk tells me, oh, I can't check this bag, it's too late.
And I was like, is it too late? Is it really, I don't know about that, still, you know, I still got a decent amount of time, you know.
(06:37):
And I'm not too far from where I'm going to, where I have to go.
So she proceeds to tell me, no, I can't check it, but maybe you can just carry it with you on the plane.
Ma'am, this is an oversized check bag. This is not a carry on.
I just literally know where for this to go. So for you to suggest that I go along onto my flight through security,
(07:00):
you won't even fit on the like security belt to go through the thing because it's not made for those size bags.
So I was like, I don't think that's correct and I don't think that you should be like suggesting that's it if you need one.
So she goes and I get to get some manager and her manager like, you know, whisper something and they're like, just, you know, take the bag, it's fine.
Whatever that was about, okay, took the bag and it was at that moment I was thinking, yeah, I'm probably not going to see these bags when I get to my destination.
(07:28):
Just because of what was happening, it's how I feel.
And so, but I'm like, what do you have to do? I have to get on my flight.
So I go get on my flight, everything's cool with that. Get to my next destination to Philly.
And I get to Philly, get off the plane, go to baggage claim.
And so, there and starts the process of all of the things.
(07:51):
So, filing a claim and, you know, trying to get a touch with where I came from, my hometown, Chicago airport.
Trying to figure out where my bags went if they got on the plane, all this stuff.
There is no trace of them anywhere. They don't even know if the bags made it on the plane to begin with or if they've been sent out on a sec, like a sec, or a flight or anything.
(08:14):
Anything, no communication, no one is communicating from Chicago.
So if somebody from over here, airport sees this, do better, specifically frontier airlines.
And before y'all start saying something like, what else would you give a fly frontier?
I'll have you know, I've never had an issue with frontier.
Like, never. I know people say that about frontier in spirit.
(08:37):
And the plane does stuff like they give you to the destination.
So I'm not tripping on that. And especially for shorter flights, I don't mind.
But frontier has never been problematic for me. It's always been, you know, cool.
And on top of that, frontier was literally the only flight available for the time that I needed to get ready just to go because it was like a change up in my schedule and all that kind of stuff.
So anyway, I was not expecting it to be what it was, but frontier at O'Hare specifically because I worked with frontier in other places, other states and stuff.
(09:06):
They were all very helpful. Frontier is Chicago, O'Hare Airport.
Yeah, these kids get them. But anyway, I digress. So get to Philadelphia, have no back.
So that becomes a thing of, you literally, you literally haven't showed tonight.
You have no clothes, you have no toiletries, you have nothing.
So now you have to go shopping and get all these things.
(09:27):
So I proceed to do that. Go shopping, get having all this up within, you know, having hours to get all of these things together.
So I have to go do that, get checked into my hotel and all of those things.
So I'm doing all of that stuff on top of that trying to mentally prepare to perform in a new city that I've never performed in, never performed in Philadelphia before.
(09:48):
So all of these things happening and going on.
And again, this is at the start of my journey. And I still have a whole week plus to go.
And so I'm just hoping a brand like I hope they, you know, recover my luggage and send it to me, you know, while I'm here.
So I don't have to keep shopping every day.
I'm at the end of my tour, still no backs, but we'll get to that part.
(10:10):
So all of that happening, having to go day by day, being very creative.
Like, what am I going to wear? How am I going to make this into an outfit and then switch it up and make that into an outfit?
And how do I maximize my, you know, what I have as far as my bags.
And then, you know, I'm going to be one of my Airbnb hosts at one of the spots, gave me a little carry on.
(10:36):
So I said, okay, cool. Got some extra stuff to carry.
My things were so I'm not just carrying a bunch of shopping bags, which is what I had initially.
So all of this stuff happening, still trying to mentally prepare for a show and trying to do all these things.
And it got to a point where day after day going back for this, especially when it's like, when people don't want to help you, they don't want to quote them,
they don't want to do their job and they don't see or understand that like you are having your personal crisis and while it's not their issue, if you work, if you're a part of it because of the company who work for help people out, like I just don't understand.
(11:08):
Anyway, so day by day, having to figure out how to be strategic, even with finances, how do you, you know, make sure that you're spending money wisely because you got to buy clothes.
So what the next day is going to hold you. I know you're going to need for the next day and all this stuff getting tied up and all of this stuff.
Nightmare, okay.
But I went ahead and did the show and Philly. The show was absolutely beautiful and actually having this experience, I did begin to share it with the audience.
(11:38):
And it brought in a deeper level of connection, I feel like because everyone there began to just kind of sympathize with my situation.
I thought I was looking for sympathy or anything, but they kind of felt where I was, but it became more of a thing of like, wow, you still showed up in the midst of something like that happened to you still came and you still performed, you still gave it your all and all of that kind of stuff.
(12:02):
And it was a really, really beautiful night. So even though I left the show knowing I'm going back to figure out what to do next with clothes and all of those other annoyances.
I had to decide that night, that okay, I don't know if I'm going to get these bags again, but I can decide whether or not this is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to me.
(12:30):
Or if I'm going to find a way to make the most out of the situation that I'm in because literally it's out of my control.
If I wanted, if I could have had my bag with me, they would have been, if there was a way for me to control that, but it was out of my control, there's nothing that I could do.
The only thing that I could do was just journey forward and finish the tour, enjoy the time that I am away and share my music with the different audiences and all of that kind of stuff.
(12:57):
So that was the decision that I made and it was it's initially an easy thing. You know, sometimes you could be like, you got to do what you got to do, something you just show up and do the thing and get it over like, oh, let's just get this over with because I got no, I got my bags or whatever.
So instead of taking on that attitude, I had to decide like, okay, I can allow myself to be miserable in this or I can make the most out of the fact that I'm here, that this is a great experience for me, that I am an independent artist who happy ability and blessed with the opportunity to go out on a independent tour.
(13:37):
You know, just trying to find all of these things to reset my perspective and think about it differently. If you are familiar with your music, there's a song that I have called What If I, it's on all the things and it kind of speaks to this whole concept of yes, things can be going terribly.
But if you think about it in a different way, you don't have to like sit in that total, you know, so that is how it's been now. So I feel better. I was able to like visit loved ones while I've been out and move around in a little different way because my plans had changed and, you know, just seeing a lot of the silver lining, some of the things that I like packed in a rush in my carry on bag because I didn't feel like stuff in it in my suitcase.
(14:22):
Those ended up being like the essential things that I needed while I'm here, so I'm so glad I got these things with me and I didn't have to go find that or I wouldn't be able to, you know, do whatever.
So saying and sharing that, that to say and to tie it back into what the Prince quote was is that there are no accidents.
So everything has a reason for it and I believe for me at this point, it was for me to really see how I manage when, you know, it really hits the fan with things hit the wall.
(14:56):
What is my instinctive decision and that was important to decide and to really realize because there was a time when panic, stress, all that was my first line of response and reason.
I freaked out, you know, there was times when things would happen and just, oh, you know, but I got to a point where I had to decide like, okay, things are happening but I have full control over how I respond to all the things that I'm doing.
(15:25):
I respond to all of these things happening and I can also take the good out of what I'm in to hold me over while I'm navigating through this time.
So that's an encouragement to you to like be able to do that.
Now again, I don't get it right all the time, but I'm grateful at this point of my life to be able to see where I've come from and to be able to see where I've grown because this situation would have absolutely,
(15:54):
would have been like, you know what, I'm finna leave, I'm not even gonna go.
Forget it 'cause you know, I'm finna go home because it's too much.
and da-da-da.
Like all of those things I could have, and this, this is the caveat on this, okay?
The reason why I ended up in Philadelphia with the frontier flight was because the night
before I was supposed to be in DC, my DC show was canceled, and so I had to rearrange
(16:20):
my entire thing and decide, am I gonna go to DC and just not do anything or am I gonna
take advantage of this extra day, get myself some more room to prepare, my hair was done,
and I was packed but not completely still figuring things out, so a little bit of rush day
for me trying to pack and get to that first, you know, show in DC.
(16:40):
So it worked itself out, it gave me extra time to prepare and that caused me to end up
having things shifted in my suitcase and deciding what to bring, what not, and there are some
things that I totally decided not to bring at all and left them at completely at home, and
I'm so glad because I'm like, oh, these things could have been lost forever.
And all of that, so you just gotta be mindful of that.
(17:05):
And I think it's important, something that I'm learning, I'm personally, I'm in therapy
but I have been, I'm a very introspective person, so whenever something is happening
in my life, I by default check myself first for maybe two a fault, but I'm getting better
at it, I think, but I check myself in such a way that the last thing that I'm gonna do
(17:29):
is make this someone else's issue, blame this on somebody else, make this somebody else's
fault, even if someone else was involved, I have to stop and check myself out.
Let me make sure that I am blameless in this before I move on to put this on somebody else
and all that kind of stuff, so it's just navigating through those life experiences and not allowing
(17:50):
things to just happen and then you get beyond them and then you move on to the next thing,
like you really have to stop and assess what just happened to you in a way that causes you
to reflect and then get tools for the next thing, like, okay, this happened, that was a
lot.
So what have I learned from this and what am I gonna take with me for the next time,
(18:12):
or something like this happens or all of these things, so just being conscious of those
things, I think is really important, especially navigating through this creative space because
you may cause yourself to do something that you can't undo because you're reacting to
life stuff and then it's coming out in your creativity or whatever you've done.
(18:36):
Something that I had to be mindful of and I stopped doing it and I found the purpose in doing
it the right way is when I'm writing, sometimes I'll go through things and I'll write about
them, but there was a time when I would write from the reaction, meaning if somebody made
(18:59):
me upset, I'm writing from anger and I'm not writing from, let me share this story and
let me share where I am and how I feel and be honest and vulnerable and figure out what's
going on kind of thing.
It was just more like, let me get back at you or this thing and it leaves it open.
So the song is over, we have no resolution, we have nowhere to take this, it's just a song
(19:23):
to listen to, to agitate yourself all over again and you know there are those songs that are
you know what they call like a break the song or song you listen to when you want to get
amped up to like go fight or something like that and I think that there is, it's okay to
be vulnerable and honest in your music, I do it like that's all I do but I think there's
(19:48):
a responsibility to make sure your creation is going to age well you know.
So it's almost like if you have like a friend who was in like a toxic relationship and every
time there was some beef going on in their relationship they come to you and I always over
(20:09):
and I can't do and then the next day like they back together you know that kind of stuff
was like after a while I don't know what to do with you and your decision making because
you're just gonna go back to the same thing that you're saying is not good for you why
don't you stop figure out what you feel decide why you want to be in this situation if
(20:30):
you want to be in this situation and then go on it you know.
So I think that there's a processing that has to happen in a creative process that has
to happen to be able to move forward in a way that is going to be fruitful like it's actually
gonna bear fruit is gonna cause other things to happen and be created and all that it's
(20:51):
not just a moment it's not just a situation or a circumstance so I would challenge you
because it's something that I've also learned to do is and it's helped me to again not react
to certain things.
Something goes wrong something happens that's unfavorable in my opinion I take a step back
and say okay what's happening what do I need to be aware of what I need to be sensitive
(21:13):
to in this moment now that this is happening it's not just oh this happened in panic panic
freak out this happens let me think about this let me see what's going on here is this
something that I could have done differently to not make this happen is this my fault is
somebody else's fault if it is somebody else's fault are they going to do something are they
(21:35):
aware that they did something you know so there's like a long list of things to evaluate
and maybe you may think that's overthinking or maybe you think that that's like doing too much
or or whatever but I just choose to live in a way that will keep me moving forward and
not setting me back it's okay if it keeps me still for a little while but I'm either
(21:58):
going to move forward I'm gonna stay still until I get ready to move forward but nothing
that's going to take me back I know living spaces that cause me to revert so that is my my
story about this this whole happening so to get to the other side of it once I've decided
okay we're not going to trip we're going to make them most of this time you are doing your
(22:23):
thing you are accomplishing things that maybe some years ago you may have never thought you
could you are meeting new people that love what you do and they're appreciative of your
gift and you're connecting and building your community and all these beautiful things
that was the intended point you know in the beginning are still happening is just some
(22:45):
other little noise in the background that could have caused me to say you know I forget
I'm gonna leave go home and then guess what the people that I've met so far that I've connected
to the lives that I have connected with the stories that I've connected with would not
have happened or what those connections wouldn't have been made and who knows what other
doors are to come that would have been shut if I just decided the circumstances too much
(23:09):
this temporary circumstance so much it's too much for me I'm just going to completely
shut down and not even consider the fact that I've been planning to do this for once
and now it's finally here of course it's going to be opposition when you're going for
imperposedly and you're doing something that is bigger than yourself for a greater purpose
of course it's going to come with opposition persecution you know circumstances and situations
(23:36):
annoyances and irritants all of that yes it's going to happen however you get better and
better as a person which will in turn make you a stronger more effective and purposeful
creative when you take those moments process them think about what you've experienced and
(23:57):
then go forward and move on to do new things so having made those decisions to change my
mind and to really shift my perspective and just consider you know the whole ordeal and
prepare myself because another thing that was happening in the midst of the initial chaos of
(24:23):
all this stuff happening I lost some stuff like I lost one of my credit cards I lost my my
little earbuds I lost one of them and you know little stupid things like that and once once that
stuff was happening because it all happened in one day I'm like okay let me cheer let me breathe
because this is now causing me to be a little erratic as far as like I'm not thinking through I'm not
(24:51):
being careful because I'm just like well this is all over place with minus well you know whatever
so having to take a step back and realize that if you don't calm down and focus you're going to add
to something and then it will become a part of your fall it will become something that you
had control over and lost control over if you don't get your head straight get your perspective
(25:16):
together you know reorganize get your thoughts in place and all that kind of stuff so once I got to
that point and I had to reset like okay girl get it together you're you're in this but you can get
through it just focus and do what you need to do once I did that days later this is now like this my
(25:38):
last day so no I won't have one more day this was about two or three days ago two days ago I get a
call you know I get a call from someone who basically says I'm reading your luggage tag I'm here
with your luggage you know is this you is this your name you're whatever yes it is where are you
(25:59):
where is my bag it's a Chicago so my bag is literally just rolling down a hallway of oh here airport
unhinged because literally front here did not carefully even store my bag not even if they didn't
put it on the plane they didn't say okay let's contact her let her know it didn't make it we're
(26:23):
gonna see like nothing that's a whole another tangent front of the day how they fungal that whole
situation and like did not handle with care at all so anyway someone not even related to the airline
called me having my bag in front of them so because of a cell in Chicago I ended up calling my mother
like hey could you just go to airport get my bag I don't want I don't want them having to do my stuff
(26:47):
like just be musk of because I do not want any other happenings and so that's where we are now is
you know trying to get my stuff and getting reimbursed for all of the expenses and all that kind
of stuff that's all that admin stuff that please know I'm gonna take care because I am miss
let me talk to somebody higher than you because we do people right around here so all of that
(27:13):
and look at that now I have my bag so I get to go home you know at some point or whatever I get them
and I will be able to have my stuff my belongings and everything is okay so it it cost me some
piece a little bit it caused me some inconvenience for sure but I'm okay I'm safe my things are okay
(27:33):
and they're you know located and all of that so now I can move forward and take the lesson which I
did have to evaluate like okay what was this for and just to show me and to train me up for like how to
endure situations out of your control in the moment in the midst of you know all kinds of stuff
(27:54):
happening dealing with things in a way that will bring me back to where I need to be to go for it so
my encouragement to you dear creative just know that everything happens for a reason
and like Prince said it's up to you to decide how you're going to see what it is that you see
(28:15):
change your perspective be okay with shifting and adjusting because that's the other part
you can have something happen and that may mean because it's happened you can't do the thing the
way that you would plan to do the thing good that you are prepared glad that you planned for
but now it's time to adjust and pivot and shift so that you're not still trying to force yourself
(28:40):
into one way when clearly the circumstance is calling for you to do something different so
be okay with what God showed you be okay with what he allowed and just reset and focus
and journey forward and take care of your business so that is my encouragement for today listen
(29:04):
thank you for listening and tuning in to the creative and process podcast so far I am so excited
about what's to come I have some goodies on the way and I haven't even begin to like check my analytics
to see like cool watching how people are tuning in and all that kind of stuff it matters to me because
I would like to know if it's effective and if it's reaching in this the way that I'm kind of flowing
(29:27):
in things is working for you all but it's not something that I'm superpressive out right now because
I just wanted to grow and if nothing else this is a space where I'm sharing some things and even if
it's way down the line and you come across this I feel like at some point is going to affect
and touch people in a in a way that it needs to and that would be purposeful so I'm cool and like I
(29:53):
said in the beginning I love to run my mouth so give me some weird it's how they all they need
I'm gonna do it so thank you so much for tuning in please go to the creative and process website
which is down here it is the create it's creative and process.com in the show notes as always send
(30:14):
your feedback you can send me an actual voice mail message where you can just give feedback you
can ask a question you can even respond to today's topic and I will include it in future episodes
wherever I can so I would love to hear from you thank you so much again for tuning in whatever you
get ready to do now with your day whatever time you're tuning in go and be great and no matter what
(30:38):
happens whatever comes along decide to think positively and have the right perspective going
forward to get through it love you so much thank you so much for tuning in and until next time
have a good one peace out I gotta go get ready for the show so I'll let y'all know how that goes later bye
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