August 26, 2025 • 52 mins
THIS WEEK I’m joined by my pal Bria - a TikTok creator you may know as briakingbad or COLETTE - and her mam Dera, a retired psychotherapist. The two of them together are comedy gold. We give our opinions on some listener dating stories, Bria shares her rotten tale of a man sending her a pic of his 'puckered shitter', and I tell the story of how I somehow ended up with a little paypig of my own. Stay tuned ‘til the end… and keep an eye out next week for a full dedicated PAYPIG episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello Heals. So this week I have my friend, funny
woman Brian mulholland you might know her as Bria King
or Bria King bad on TikTok or Collette as she
has known on the streets, and her mom, Dera, who
is a retired psychotherapist, so she'll be giving her professional
opinion and Briette will be unprofessional. The two of them
(00:32):
are two gass women comedy gold like what a little duo.
And we're going to look at some stories that listeners
have sent in to us and just some iso wos
difficult situations I have come across online with things that
people have sent into me. Bria shares this disgusting story
of a man like just they're not well like his
(00:54):
as he called it, puckard starfish, and then I tell
the story of how I somehow ended up put a
little paypig of my own there recently. So stay tuned
until the end and keep an eye out next week
for the full pay Pig episode, for he is going
to join us now and Deara is coming in shortly.
(01:14):
I got in a message this girl wanted me to
bring this up in the podcast. A big fan of
the podcast, very tempted to readwn TikTok to us for
your content. She wrote this to me on Instagram. By
the way, I was wondering. I know you say it's
a numbers game when it comes to dating, and I
fully agree. But girl, I'm struggling to get dates. I
am twenty six since February, an architectural designer currently doing
(01:34):
my masters. I've moved around a lot, moved to Dublin
after a year of working in San fran So when
I go on a date, they're always interested in seeing
me again. But the issue is getting the dates. I
wonder sometimes if maybe my photos on the apps are
too and inverted com as Christian. My apps are currently
just a deserted wasteland. Annie fella I get talking to
(01:58):
ends up ghosting me. I can't seem to meet them
in person. Tried the singles nights that McGowan's no good.
Hoping to do a run club soon, but just recovering
from injury so that'll be a while. Would love to
hear your taking this. Maybe it would be a good
topic for the pod. So I had sent you over.
I send you over her pictures because they asked her,
what did you mean by two Christian, Like, as a Christian,
(02:21):
what does that even mean? Can I see your dating
that pictures for a nose? And she said, I meant
just not saucy enough. Yes, absolutely so, yeah, one of her.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
One of her receiving ken Union is a bit much.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
That.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I hate that. I hate that people think like that
they have to be fucking saucy.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's exactly it. Like, for one, right from just that
little snippet, she clearly really like ambitious, like to them,
lived in San Francisco back here. You know, obviously she's
a runner or you know, she's recovering from an injury,
and then she's doing the like I think you do
(03:04):
hear and see how some men can be intimidated by
women who are like driven or whatever. So I think
it's like maybe she just hasn't time someone that's on
the same I don't mean, I don't mean it's a negativate.
I don't mean like the same level, but as in
like the same sort of position in life, especially twenty six, you.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Know, like well, actually, yeah, I know, twenty six, that's
good going.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I mean, sorry, that's like I'm nine years older than that,
so I'm like, you're only a dead bishoer you hope
with life ahead of you. Yeah, I know, like say
true to yourself and who you are, Like, don't be
thinking you need to Like looking at her photo.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Definitely yeah, she's definitely good, Like she's well able to
talk and like I can tell why her messages that
she would give good chat on the apps, So I
can't see why she wouldn't you know, things would lead
nowhere And looking at her pictures like they're not they're
not even fucking totally PG. You know, they're like a
(04:08):
lovely atally tight leather trouser there when.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
She looks quite wholesome and very pretty. Mm hm yes,
temmy tiny teat fashionable, I see, I see nothing wrong
with there's.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
A black number there, tight black top with the waist
out and black tight skirt with a little bit of
a crisscross off the top going across the belly. You know,
I think, fucking it just it just it does sick
in my hole though, the thought of women being like,
oh I'm not getting dates, I'm going to have to
(04:44):
get my tits and ass out. I'm going to have
to break bikini shots.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
That's the whole thing of like, yeah, to get a
man to talk to me, I'm gonna have to sexualize
myself more. And it's kind of like not sexualize yourself more,
but like if you're confident enough, like if you're confident
enough and you want to share a picture of your
body and your bikini and whatever online, then like do
(05:10):
But like for me, I wouldn't be comfortable doing that
for myself, but if someone else is, then absolutely, But
don't do it just so you get more men and
as well, you might just get those gobshots who are
just like, oh yeah, oh yeah, she looks a bit
all right, and then you know, and then and then
(05:32):
you're just going into the loop again of just getting
kind of toxic not toxic. Sorry I'm not using the
right words here, but like of lads who maybe just
aren't looking for something.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Like you need to free yourself, free that speech there. Yes,
toxic men, toxic may I definitely did when I became
single in twenty twenty one and I had lost lots
of weight, I'd lost five stone and then I was
single and I was going for it and I used
to put up Now, I wouldn't call them first traps,
right like if I say third traps, that's going to
(06:04):
paint you a picture. But I was definitely like I
was taking these mirror picks with like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
But you're confident, and you were like, look at me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
There was a couple of bikini picks for you. Good. Great.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But if I was confident in my body, I would
put up bikini picks. You know, I don't see anything.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I don't I still like. Now now I'm like, oh,
like I wouldn't put up a full frontal bikini pick.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think maybe the age has come into it.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, but yeah, exactly, you're in a different point than
what you made late twenties then.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Or what age was I twenty nine, yeah, and I'm
now I'm thirty three. In a few weeks, you are,
we have the birthday night.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And get your friend to come out with us. I'll
find your man. I'm great at shy talking and getting
ment to chat. When I was single, after basically twelve years,
I was, I was used to going out and not
being single and still like chatting away having the crack
of people because I'm just that kind of Yeah. But yeah,
(07:12):
i'd hear of it because I move. But then, like
when I was single, i'd be doing the same thing
and then being like you know then like people ask
for a number and I was like, oh oh yeah,
oh it.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Wasn't what this was.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Oh no, sorry, I'm just super adhd. And if you're
a new person and you're gonna let me talk slight.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
To you, I will. Yeah, you know that is it
would be nice for people to meet in real life again,
but alas like what, I don't know what advice are
we giving her because what are we going to tell
her to do different? Absolutely nothing, just fucking keep going asleep, line.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Going just talk to anyone and everyone like, don't be like,
oh he's not my type.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And I'm not going to chat to him. Yeah that's true,
but it's like the open minded. Do you ever get
to get hit on on the from having the TikTok ah?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Ourseholes literal just thrial our songs. But this is actually
this girl that I'll finish up on this one. But
I had said to her, I said, she has a
nice smile, but every single picture is with her mouth closed,
and maybe that each picture was very posed. And this
is something that I think about myself, where I did
(08:31):
when I was on the app, that if every picture
was very like posed and like situated and hello, look
at me, look at me in my outfit, look at
me standing in my hallway, you know, look at me
in this bathroom, in this fucking hotel whatever. Like you
need to maybe put in an action shot there of
you having a bit of crack, like ugly laughing.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Or something like, yeah, show them the double chin laugh.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
But she was like, all fair enough actually, because maybe
they'd be thinking that I have some bad teeth. Yeah, yeah,
because you could have could be hiding something there. Take
a seat, Take a seat. How are you, Lara, Thank
you very much for giving us your your professional give
you a bit of But yeah, you've been in I
(09:23):
suppose you're not much about help. I think when it
comes to dating and whatever's been, I've never, yeah, never
really dated.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
That's because of it's probably because you've got attachmentshes.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Straight into it, straight into it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And I wonder where that came from. Ma'm over detached.
I'm not anxious at all, no, because because I don't
want you to go alone anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
That was so you were always there. So that's the
opposite of an anxious attachment style. I was very securely
attached to her me. Yeah, yeah, these attachment styles.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
You know, there's secure and then there's insecure, and to
be handy, you just say avoidant and anxious.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You can break them down further. But the secure insecure
avoid I'm anxious and insecure. Can you be two of
the bad ones?
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Yeah, you've probably got it both from each each year caregars.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah. Possibly somebody who's out there say and attracting the
wrong fella the whole time, saying that she likes the
bad boys and you know all lads. You know he's
too nice or I don't like lads who are too
nice to me. What would that be? Then that was
start of the last one.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That'd be much more like being avoidant because you put
your you put your walls up, because you learned when
you were young that you end up maybe one other
parent wasn't all that emotionally available to you, so you
end up kind of hope call like self holding. And
people like that would probably describe themselves as being very independent,
(11:05):
so they can actually feel quite anxious if somebody is
comes over too much for them. They can feel like
someone is too much for.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Them because you ever hear ye girls being like you
found me every day and like I'll get away like
oh yeah, sometimes I'm like, for sure, if he was
only fucking texting you like every bi weekly, you'd be
given out.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It is a bit like I hear like read the
read the room. You know, if the fellow text and
you've took it three times a day and you're not
replying like oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Well he would send, then like he'd be a more
like anxious attachment because they people who have anxious attachment
attachment will generally describe themselves as being like clingy and needy.
They lean in because when they had their early experience
was the parent was sometimes emotionally available and sometimes not,
so they were always kind of chasing the parents attention.
(12:00):
I know this is kind of an over simplification, but
like this is sort of so. So if you're like that,
you will be always have a fear of being like abandoned,
and you'll always be you will be more clined to
be checking like what you're talking about. But then if
you're someone who's got secure attachment, meaning that you're quite
calm and you feel you know you're a worthy person
(12:22):
and you know you're you're worthy of love and a relationship,
well then if that if that anxiously person is, you know,
clinging towards you because you're secure, you can actually you
could deal with them by communicating and then letting them notic.
You know, you don't have to be it doesn't have
to be like you know not you know you're.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Giving me the sending me gifts every.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
They weren't insulted, like not even means like.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Gifts, like you know people who like send a text,
they'd send like two texts and then it's the homer
sence and me a gift of like going to the
butters like sorry, you have a life.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
That's even So that's so much more embarrassing, Like don't
be pointing out that you're getting ghosted, yeah by saying no,
you're ghosting me. You just leave it then, like yeah, dar,
what would you say to somebody who was really clingy
and freaking out and texting the whole time? Like if
your client came to you and you know they were
aware that they were like this, what are they meant
(13:27):
to do? Are they ever aware? I don't know what
this is?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Forty seven's and I sent five names on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
When probably client probably already texted me, but telling each
other yes, that kind of requests what no, but uh,
what would I say when you'd be working, you know,
on a one to one basis, you know, you have
to work things out with people that everyone's an individual,
but talking about what their early really you know, the
patron of their behavior, and you'd get back into talking
(13:56):
about their early stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
And I then realize why they are the way they are.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Welly kind of hope, well, sort of give someone the
heads up about you're kind of leading them into the
awareness bit by bit. And also but it's not a
critical thing, sorry, because they did it to survive.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
People do people?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
We have these behaviors because we needed to survive and
be safe.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So can we look back on when you're working in.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Australia, Well, what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And you had a specific human being who felt their
personal trainer was in love with them.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
There was a person who had a personal trainer one
to one and this lady got very you know close
in her own mind to the to the person the
other person who was much younger than her, but it
was all her own projection, you know, and she was
married but complicated, so really obviously I didn't I know,
(14:57):
I like those people yeah, yeah, So I mean that
she really had. I mean, that's that's a big issue
I think, and that I think that ladies in her
behavior had been when we was trashing it out, that
was quite a behavior that she'd had over the years
with the number of people where she just yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
She's like, you're one now with us the program on Netflix,
Baby Reindeer, Baby Raindew.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
You had your own baby, Like normally I wouldn't have
been a So the word I'm going to use is
direct with this lady, but she I the way I
went to bet it with her, I was saying, you know,
like younger people these days are very quick to get
very letitious, and you know, like I'm just thinking that
the person was going to actually put what you got
(15:42):
bar in order something her restrain avend her.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
And so I kind of stepped her through lightly.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
That she would you know, she really needed to pull
back and stop stop trying to contact the person.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And then I just pointed out what she did.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
But I kept pointing out to her so well, you know,
working it through how they weren't actually.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Making contact with her.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
They weren't actually because what happens when people go to
that level. She starts to imagine every little thing as
a green light, but she accidentally bump into the person
at the shops and think that that he had gone
there because that's where she shot as well.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It just crazy, Yeah, because he was her pet. It
was like, you know, he was just doing this job
being like that, Yeah, you're progressing a great lot of lines.
She was like, you know, and then they're taking it
on as like.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Oh he's obviously Yeah. When I was single and on
the apps, like and I'd be strolling down and there'd
be some unreal like model type that I wouldn't personally
be interested in, but like we're like abs, tanned, like
sculpted and everything, and I'd be like, no, I'm just
a normal girl, and I don't want that.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We're not dead girlgeous, just we're just not going to
be a thing. But I think like then there's other
people who were like, oh, yeah, I matched with him,
and it's very clearly a catfish or else, this man
who's after your money and who's in a different country,
and they're like, yeah, I can believe this. I can
believe that this is like this is this is happening
(17:20):
to me? Yeah, And you know what, but that's proven.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
When we're attracted to somebody, particularly first we actually we're
so you know, delighted to feel in the attraction and
all the good stuff that we disregard, you know that
the negatives our bias. So it starts changing and we
so in other words, initially we almost create a fantasy
when we're attracted to somebody, we don't see any of
the negatives. So true, that's a self esteem thing of like.
(17:49):
But but see everybody's a bit at first guilty of that.
You know, they kind of go, wow, this person, you know,
so we all have that and if you want to
call it in the typical of the norm. And but
then then other people carried carried on to an extreme.
But it is a kind of a bias that we
do at the beginning anyway, us and you just need
(18:09):
to comeone and you're all loved up.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
And you're you know, b I think I'm way better
than bris running around there, like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I remember when I was about nine, nineteen nineteen, I think,
I know, nineteen, I was in second year of college
and I was with this fellow who was three years
older than me, and he was in his final year
college I mean, we were both from the same town,
and I remember that I would buy him pints to
(18:44):
make him stay out with me, or if he'd be like, oh, no,
I have no money to go to the pub, and
I'd be like, I have money. I'd have about forty
euro do you know? It was all my money. I
was meant to go to the shop and get like
noodles with us a wed roll for college. And just
(19:04):
because I was like I just couldn't see that, he
was just like, oh, grand I have no money yet
and could do it a few pints, so we'll go
to the pub. But I was like, oh deadly, you know,
you really like only with soup and age. I look
back at that now and I'm like, oh my lord.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But like some people are happy to take that, you know,
be like she's gonna buy me pints, and that's great,
of course, even later in life, even later in life,
you know, and then it's just like I I don't
think I could just keep you know, taken and taking,
and it's like, oh, I want to go to dinner tonight,
(19:45):
take me out there. It's a fucking Wednesday. And he
used to go off and like pay and but if
that was in his nature. I just I don't think
i'd be able for that. Granted, who's med a neye?
Like I'd be like, well, you are for everything, and
you're paying me save babies.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I don't think that.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I don't think the description of the kind of happened
you have love.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Excuse me. I have a little message that somebody sent
into me m hm for you to give your professional
bredera and unprofessional for your opinion on the two. Okay,
so let me see. You'll probably not see this or reply.
But if you can't, can you give advice on how
(20:29):
to get a date or is there any way of
going from a one night stand to them wanting to
see you again? I'm now a fan of the ass
and can get a one night stand, but that's where
it ends. They promise the world, but I know it's
pure shit, but hopefully thinking that they might ask for
my number or want to see me again. But no, Okay,
(20:49):
is that a female that is female living in Dublin
in her late thirties.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, you know, like yeah, well I just think not
like I know men, but I hear men talk and
I've seen enough to know that like they're getting the
right the Chase is over, so like I just don't
m I don't see. I mean, it'd be nice if
they were like, h yeah, you know, yeah, can I
(21:19):
have your number? Or can I have your Instagram?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah? It's like no, like they're not going to do
that after the right, Like after the right, I don't
think that they're going to feel like there's exceptions whatever
to every rule. But I think the rule is that
once they ride yet and if they get it on
the first night, they'll yeah, I would everyone, that's all.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
It's still there on the first night, yes, because that
is not going to lead to look it can and
it does, but it's not working for her now.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So like if she's.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
If she's if she's able to go out every night
and she knows what to do when she's or they're
flinging themselves at her, or she's flinging themselves, flinging herself
at them, like that's all she's doing. She's not out there.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You know, you don't seeing any sort of meaningful connection.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
And I always thought that like meaningful connection, you're someone
is inserting piece of their body into you. Like how
like I would rather I want a meaningful connection before
that is done. To my innerds like or at least
I at least want to like no, sorry, And that's
not a judgment on her or any meaningful connection. You
(22:36):
want to meaningful connection, go out and go for a
walk with your dog and say ANNs Parker something.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Well, I mean, then I do hand. Some people do
think that that sex is the connection. It's not necessarily,
you know, it's it's how they're viewing intimacy. I would say,
I'm glad. I'm sort of glad you said at first,
because I felt that me as an older woman saying
it would sound like.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
But it's still there.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
That you have to slow down and if you want
to build an authentic relationship, that's go, that's ongoing. You
do it slowly like it's back, you know, Mich of
the Mitch of a coffee, Mich for dinner with grow
to a movie, like.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
If you answer me so much on a night out,
if you tomorrow and hanging to bits and buy yeah,
or I'll buy you brunch.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
But I was going to say, yeah, you know, it
might be a nice magic and then you know, yeah,
walk me home.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
But definitely slowing it down, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, anyways, what's your advice down same as yours really is. Yeah,
that's out there, you know, and like look at the
look at the like it's something the pattern of babe,
Yeah that isn't start king. It's not working for you,
like you do need to you need to change it
up and that whole thing of like it's not about
you need to better yourself, but you need to save yourself. Okay,
(23:53):
well this isn't working for me, So I need to
shift my focus onto like and not going out every
now and get the right I need to ship ship
my focus into like I think a.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Lot of women just shifting exactly, but I think a
lot of shifting do not Yeah, ye, just shifting. No,
no poking. They they think you're on the second day
I needed Jesus. Can I talk it? Can I tax?
But like they can't. They don't want to disappoint the fella.
(24:27):
So you know, if they think, oh, this is such
a great time here, we're shifting away and then he's like, oh,
you know, let's go back to mine, and then a
girl saying no, and then he'd probably be like, oh,
well fuck you then do you know you know, and
then might just leave it exactly. That's what the find
because he's not worth it. That's not he's not he's
(24:49):
not out for what you want.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
You just want.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm not going to relationship with that. But it's like
who gives the ship?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you're disappointing him, It's like you're going to end
up disappointing you like yourself. You're else, and you're gonna
wake up being like, oh, you know, he was so
lovely in Lula and then just like radios ants and
then you're one randal and you pass them by and
you're like, I saw his willie And what do you think.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
About all this cracks that people do. I know you're
probably gonna somehow bring this back to the attachment styles
like vegument. It probably is something I think about, like
you say, gas lighting, bread crumbing, Like bread crumbing would
be when people just hold on to you there like say, yeah,
they just keep you and give you the odd text
here and there like yeah, fellow, that would give me
(25:31):
a good morning with a love heart and not text
me until nine pm again that night I heard good luck.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
You're probably on the broadcast list there.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, oh no, yeah that doesn't make you feel very special.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
You know, he should just made a group.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, text us all.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yeah, no, sorry, no, I mean no, I mean they
are please no, plainly though they are people with issues.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
They are mean here that's something.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Sorry, but you've got an issue, if you're, if you're
and the gas lighting thing.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
They have no goods.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
They can't confront something, and you know, they need they
need to be doing a bit of a work on themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And you know, I saw a quote today that changed
my life. I bet you never thought you'd hear that.
I can't really remember it, but it was something like,
don't let someone else's confusion with life make you question
you're certainties or something. Yeah, yeah, which is a bit
like gas line anyway.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
No, no, not really, Well, don't know what it does
in the sense that it says, don't question yourself. I
mean that the other one is that thing not everything
is about you. You know, we take it on, we go,
oh god, what should I do? Oh Jesus always that
person didn't contact me. It's not you, like like you know,
you say, it's not the way you say, oh it's
not you, it's me. That well that's the other way around. Yeah,
(26:55):
it's it's not me, it's actually you. Yeah, you've got
the issue and.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
If anyone finds them. So I was getting like really
caught up when a guy three or girl or even
in the workplace, like they get like rejected look up
rejections and sensitivity disorder. Oh yeah yeah yeah because yeah, yeah,
I think you might like say the lad that I
(27:20):
went out with from like eighteen to twenty whatever, it's
nearly two years. Like when he broke up with me,
I was devastated, but I so much younger.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Ah yeah that and like his first love yeah as well.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
But those first love things, you think it's love, but
like it or like it's not infactuate. It's more just
like the first feeling of yeh being in Lord.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Like how many people can you be in love with
in your life? Because at this stage now I try
to think back to all the men I said I
love you too, and now well, like I'm thirty two,
so now I was like one and sorry there was
I nowip for whatever eight months said I love you
to him. Then there was five and a half years
before that said I love you to him. Three years
directly before that said I love you to him, two
(28:09):
years before that said I love you to him.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
That's four Yeah, that's right, there isn't. There isn't the
one that's a fallacy. There are many the ones, and.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I couldn't have been with those ones. Yep. They can
love everybody who can.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Polyyambory yeah, polyamorous.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
But you did love them when you were with with
that's the point. You did have love, You did have
love for them, you were in love. But then there's
the love. You know, you're in love, like and it
fell out. First boy friend, yeah, I was in love
with them, but like you know, hm for you eighteen
eighteen to twenty Yeah, I did. Yeah, and then my
(28:56):
last relationship, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
In love and then.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Moved on.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
So you're on number three, I'm on five.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I'm on number three.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I'm trying to delete them, to delete a few outher
these I have.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I have that.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There's this girl who messages me a good bit on
the page, just kind of talking about her dating modes
and disasters or whatever, and usually everything that she has
said to me, she sends me in screenshots of conversations
that she's had on dating apps with fellas and generally
everything that she has said. I have been like on
her side. You know, she's she's had it tough. She's
spoken to a few eegis who have, like you know,
(29:35):
gotten very sexual or whatever, and she's just like, oh,
fox sake, here we go again, like another one of
these fellas. Most she sent me a screenshot there a
few weeks ago of her conversation with the man and
it was just a normal enough conversation. They were kind
of talking about their experiences with the apps and their
backgrounds with relationships, and he said that he has never
(29:58):
had a long term relationshi and that he would be
quite choosy with who he wants to actually have a
proper relationship with, and he is just you know, being
careful that way. But she then lashed out and said, Jesus,
will you get a grip. You're forty one and balding
(30:19):
and you've never had a long term relationship. Best to
look to you. So then she sent me that screenshot,
and I was obviously a bit shock because she thought
that there was nothing wrong with what had happened there.
The man had been completely polite, and I said, Jesus,
that's very harsh. If he's forty one never had a
(30:40):
long term relationship, that's up to him just to end
the conversation, like, no need to Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, so the fella, yeah exactly, and it's like it's
a physical an age insult as well, which is a
bit shite. And like the thing is I seen like
from your content and from friends and stuff that like
men will also just be like would expect your fucking
like shriveled up buttre or something like that.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Do you think the trigger for her said to me
was and the trigger of her might may have been
something about the fact that he said, I haven't been
in a long term relationship and like but then he's
like he's engaging with her, and maybe she's sick of meeting.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I'm not trying to find what she said to him,
but I something triggered in her about this this thing
about men.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Who won't commit.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yeah, it could have been something just in her though
when I hear another fucking need to hear you know,
another one, and she just might have just in the moment,
just gone, for God's sake, you want to get Yeah,
that's whatever she said, get over your seven. But but
to attack anyone physically, you know, I start as in
sorry about their looks.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Is that it's well not the way to be going,
you know, it's a thing, they say, don't be like,
obviously she's had issues with other fellas. So then she
just met this man who, for all intents and purposes
was a grand fella. And what is that saying about,
don't be building your new house, yes, bricks from your
old house. Exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Yeah, it is that.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
It's like, exactly, it's kind of that.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yeah, trying to sort of realizing that this this interaction
here is is it is its own unique interaction. It's
not yet, it's not. It doesn't to do to do
with all the other stuff that went before.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Yeah, it just says that.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Something just snapped in her h and as well about
sorry about that something. There's something in it in the
fact she's got a load of shout from men. She's
like this, I'm gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Unfortunately for that guy, he was the one.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
He was, yeah, the receiver having something and it has
to be what he said about not having been in
a Yeah, you know that stands out, doesn't.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
So I said that to her, I said, yeah, that's
very harsh of you. Just end the conversation. No need
to insult the fellow. By all means. Thread carefully online
and if you notice something, you don't like, definitely end
the conversation. But if you're getting very riled up having
these conversations, I think the apps aren't for you. And
then she said, yeah, my friend said the same. I know.
(33:21):
I think I was just pissed off. He was probably
the third guy that I was texting, so obviously something
like and it's like, you know, and they have lots
of hope and you know what that goes.
Speaker 4 (33:30):
Back to, which I think has been kind of I
can't go where it's been, where it's been a proven
or researched, but there is a sense that when people
are just on the apps and wiping along and in
you know, engagement and say a few people at a time,
that there is a sense of the people everyone gets
a bit objectified. So you're not it's because it's so
(33:54):
like screeny and just sliding the screen. Yeah, that's sometimes
the kind of the human pit can go out of it.
And and like she she yeah, she just she got weary.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Yeah, people need to just have a bit more respect, like, yeah,
you're dealing with other people.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
People and he stops seeing it, she stops seeing what
happened to him?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Then?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Was she she didn't see him really as a person.
She was just she just yeah, And I say that's
that A lot has happened, and that does start to happen,
like people, they get weary, it becomes you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Would you if you It's like the hate comments and
shot that we get in line, it's like, would you
say this to my face.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
In real lights?
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You know, the hiding behind don't even own up to
who they are, Yeah, hiding behind the thought.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, yeah, yes, you've.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Had some probably the worst, not even hate comments. I
can't even. I gn't even they're not even hate comments,
just going on in there and let us have it.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, yeah, so m whatever. Regretfully, I don't even know
why I had my email, like an email attached to
my TikTok, because I don't respond to any like promotional
or what anything, because I'm just like I don't want
to be doing that online, Like I don't want to
be like, hey, you want to buy this fucking moisturizer
or whatever that. So I got an email and I
(35:15):
could see it was a Gmail account and like it
wasn't like a whatever, but I had two attachments in it.
I mean I opened it. I didn't think the two
photos that I got would just automatically open up and
it was just like two pictures of someone's spread shitty
arsehole m and I was just like, that is just
(35:38):
fucking disgusting, Like and I didn't I didn't reply, I
didn't do anything at all because I was just like,
that's just so fucking weird.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
No text, just two assholes because.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I kind of anyway, yeah yeah. But in connection with that,
someone replied to my story on TikTok being like the
amount of money I'd paid to see a big black
dick in that mouth. Then I got another text message
another DM being like I would pay an increase an
(36:16):
insane amount of money for you to spread your ars open,
give me a good look at that puckage shitter and
then fart into the camera and send it to me.
So I instantly blocked them.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Oh you didn't, did you crack?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
That's then like a week later I was chatting to
the girls and work because the conversation came up about
pay pigs and all this stuff. I was like, actually,
I've got some weird fucking messages and we were like, sure,
are we a message or acting be like how much?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
As a joke?
Speaker 2 (36:48):
So I met his back being how much I know
stupid anyway, two hundred duro, take or leave it. I'll
be willing to up the price. I was like block
and then and this is another message, and it was
the same thing of I want to see your arsehol
(37:09):
you know, far to cameras and crap like that, and
joke me again how much? Hey? This all sounds weird,
I know, but I'm being dead serious when I say
that I will pay you any amount of money you
want to become your pay pick. I've opened a cofi,
coffee or whatever account, and I'm willing to pay you
(37:30):
whatever you like.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Just name the price.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
In return, I would love if you could send at
least one video picture of your feet per month.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I think this.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I think this could be really fun for the both
of us. You get paid and I get to worship
you like you deserve. If you decline this offer, that's
perfectly fine. I would just love a yes or no
answer in another message. It wouldn't even have to be
a video or a picture of your feet.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
It could just be like one of your face. My
star prices four hundred.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'd be glad to go hired, though, And then I
get two emails from the ship our sole picture guy.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
After this, So now I'm thinking, sorry, what are these
timeframes that we're talking about here that all of these
people are coming through with these message It was a.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Week and a half. So I'm like, they're all the
same person.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yeah, it's all related.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
They're all the same person. And to the accounts had
like the same they both had Bailey in it. But
then but then one of those counts changed their username.
So one email, I was dead serious. By the way,
I would glad to play anything for a video of
your fard in the camera two indredviewers institute. So I'll
raise it for four hundred.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm begging here.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'll send it to you on kofee or wherever as
you want it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I'll even pay monthly on top of that.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
That many what do you think, smiley face?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
If you decline, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
So that's definitely it's the same language as the ticket,
and then follows up with another email another thing. It
doesn't have to be farting into the camera. I pay
four hundred zero or just have a personalized video of
you doing anything. It seems obsessive, it seems weird. I
understand that, but I would genuinely pay anything. I would
(39:16):
even become your pay pig. All I need is a
yes or no. If you decline, then I will not
pursue and I will move on. I've already made my
account apology. All you need to do is think on it.
Like I'm like, I'm not replying with yes or no,
but definitely not yes, and I'm not replying with no
because he could be some fucking rido that will get
something out of me.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Even nicely.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Every bit of the process for that person, he's already
getting his rocks off just by messaging you. Yeah, so
every bit of it is contaminated and perverted, and that's
why you never respond. It's kind of nice though, he
had he had me in mind when he sat on
the ground, spread his arsol and used the lash camera in.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
That love bit take a picture.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So already he's abused so I know. No, on a
serious note, he's already abused you.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, you've already been abused.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
By that sounds and harassed.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I'm looking up here. Paypig, the submissive participant in financial
domination who provides another person with money like a pay pig,
is meant to be submissive, you know, and it seems
that what went on there sending you an unsolicited picture
of their arsehole. That's not a submissive person. You're being dominated.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
You've been dominated that asshole, no absolute, whether not be
that's what they're trying to do there. They're setting sorry,
they're coming across as it. I pay you, and you
know I'm the weak one and your you're the dominatrix.
That's not it at all. That's not what's going on
there at all. It's quite the opposite.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
So I got I went on holidays with my boyfriend
so that must have been in October last year, and
got a message from a fellow saying that he was
a pay pig and that he wanted to send me
money and would be okay, And I was like if
you want, I said, there's there's a PayPal there on
(41:14):
my account, like my I'm anonymous online anyway, I don't
have a face or anything. So I felt I couldn't
be that sexualized really with the orange head on me.
So it's just mad for fruit.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
He's like putting dick in a free one home like
instead of like a watermelon anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Orange burns I So I said, like, go on ahead
there but I'm not, like I'm not doing anything for you,
like I'm not talking to you, I'm not doing anything.
And he was like, no, that's fine, Like I really
enjoy your page and I would like to, you know,
make it it's a regular thing. And I was like,
(42:02):
you go on ahead there as much as you want
to send to the PayPal account. But then he would
ask for things like can you send me a voice note?
Now me and my boyfriend were sitting there concocting our
replies together. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he was like, this
is fucking mad.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Myself and Keen have done that as well. Actually, when
I got a previous message about how I look like
a girl that would prefer come on my face in
my arsehole, anys go.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
On, it's as rough, it's good, like it's yeah, but
fucking hell like having like obviously you have your face
and everything out there, and to know that these weirdos
are imagining all this stuff about you is just so freaky.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
But so me and my fellow were responding to manyway
and like then he's say things like I you know
I've sent you like they would be kind of twenties,
thirties and fifties here and there like what there were.
Sometimes he might send it after a few days here
and there, and sometimes there might be weeks in between,
and hear from him. I think that he's completely disappeared
off face the earth. But then he would say things like, oh,
(43:05):
I sent you that there. Goddess is what he would
call me, but you know, yeah, a goddess. Like I
was just all and I said, okay, cheers, And then
he said, I'm going to go and write pig on
my forehead now and walk around the town. And I said,
like the whole thing was making me very unhoportable, because
(43:27):
the whole thing is stalky. He was talking to you.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
He's send me a fibers into whatever. But that's his
way of stalking you. He's got he's got his in
like that. He doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Because stalking doesn't just mean following somebody.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
No, it's spoking like that. Or he set it up
where he's got he has an in with you. Even
though you're going I don't want that, I'll suit yourself.
He's still he'll still read that as ash. She really
does want me to be doing this, And like any.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I listened to Nika Talent, the Larry Murphy podcast and
that whole thing, you know, when she was doing the
kind of introduction and leads in leading into it was
that in Larry Murphy's mind, he believed that every act,
every woman actually wanted to be fucking raped and well, okay,
maybe not right, but like dominated and that sort of thing.
(44:20):
So it's like they believe, they needly truly believe in
their head that like, you know that you actually really
want it?
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Do you want it? Yeah? Well the type of person
who is happy to give away their money, Like so
what did they do? And they're they're saying that they're
like happy to be financially dominated. But what it does
is it because they're they want to give away money
so that they basically buy some of your time, you know,
to just get some part of some interaction.
Speaker 4 (44:51):
It's a it's a it's a quirk kind of perversion,
and it's a I would suggest that there is a
sexual obviously connection with it is sort of like it's
just feel like I have an in with this person
that they're obsessed about. And Mammo comes back to the attachment.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
With their mother and ao Mammy didn't love them enough,
and they always and they always thought that what they
had to like support their moment, their moments too independent.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So you know it's complex, but like it's come to
the breasted them to send them down to me, tell them,
tell them you can pay me for a session, never
mind sending me a fifty europe I'm retired.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
They have come across many perversions or perverts or anything,
and you're like that they'd come to you and say, like,
I have something fucking mad, 'll put me here, Like
would you come across these personally?
Speaker 4 (45:50):
They don't know, they they don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
No, have I met someone like that? No?
Speaker 4 (45:54):
I actually haven't worked with anyone who will need nerves proper. No,
not with that kind of They never told me, justn't know.
This is the mad one, just that mad woman from
us that we thought, oh that was now. Some people
do get obsessed about other people, but I haven't had
real thankfully.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I'm going to say, yeah, I felt real sorry for
that sella who so like, actually, I have a whole
other podcast episode. It's going to come up next week,
so the week after this one goes out, and just
kind of talking about my pay pick, and I'm going
to read out the messages between the two of us
(46:34):
just to show like how fucking bizarre it was name
and I like totally pulled back like I wasn't. I
was like ignoring his messages because sometimes he would be
clearly wanting me to communicate back with him, where he'd
be like telling me to write on my forehead and
I was like.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
Well, yeah, are him saying to you he was going
to go off down the town with pig put on
his forehead like that was the sort of cry for help.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
You to be going, oh no, don't do that.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
It might be well you can't. You know there was
something there where he was trying to poke a kind
of an engagement there for you to stop him doing that.
And you're there like.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah now, because I was just like yeah, no, bother
tombs up, Like but see.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
The grim side of that is you don't know what
that person is then going to say to you. Another point,
I'm standing on top of it, on the on the
on the verge of a bridge here and I'm gonna
throw myself in like you're don't have far all that
shit's going to go.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, if they have that kind of there's something I
feel like, if you're not they're not well it's not,
it's not that's it. And then so I had actually
put up a poll on Instagram to say, if somebody
offers you money and offered to be a pay pig
where you didn't have to do anything and they were
just happy enough to send you money like on PayPal,
would you do it? And it was like an overwhelming yes.
(47:47):
Everyone's like, yeah, fuck it if somebody wants to send
me money, and I was like, okay, grant, I felt
it a bit better, but I did feel like, is
am I.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Is this me?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
Am? I praying on a mentally person like what is
going on here?
Speaker 3 (48:00):
That you know?
Speaker 4 (48:01):
It sounded like you were just so of going go
away with yourself there, whatever you have in yourself.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah, like that you try not.
Speaker 4 (48:08):
I've kind of felt as if you were almost trying
by saying that maybe you were trying to take the
the air out of it.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah no, you just go No, you just don't. No.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
I don't think people understand that, like my free money
grand But then it's like like like for me when
I because I got a message like that before and
your man sent me like thirty or forty and he
was like I can send more.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
And then I just stopped interacting.
Speaker 4 (48:33):
Yeah, just don't go.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
There, because I was like, there's a deeper there's a
deeper thing. Oh definitely, you know there's something that's not
right and that, and then it's like, oh, I feel
like you know you've opened up, You've opened up something
to them.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
You have, you've opened up and you are being yeah,
like you're probable in a way.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
You know, you've opened up a pooked starfish.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I do that and time.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
But he so he had agreed to come on my podcast, yes,
and he he was excited about it, and I was like,
this is good because I actually have a girl who
who did this pay pig and like she did the
financial domination as in like she was receiving money from
a man and she was abusing the shit out of
(49:23):
him and that's what he wanted. So like we have
it from that perspective, and then I was going to
get my own paypig on to talk about what is
going on with them, and you know, have a bit
of back and forth. Royal would tell him, you know,
so I was feeling feeling guilty every time you kind
of send me money. I didn't really know what's going on.
And then he he sent me a message there the
other day saying that he can't, he can't do it,
(49:44):
and he blocked me. So that was fine of him.
Speaker 4 (49:48):
Well you see when it became real that all right.
Oh sorry, but that's what happened there. Sorry, when it
got real, he can't. He can live in the fantasy.
But you made it, You've got real. It got real
and then he blocked you.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Thank god it's gone now. But I said to my boyfriend, Ay, look,
I'm just going to get him on for the podcast
and then I'm going to tell him this. This is
the end of it now. I think it's gone on,
like it's gone on.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
It's just over six months or whatever.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
And I thought, yeah, yeah, And now the other thing
with that Instagram message I got about you know you
look like a girl who prefer.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Come in her face and in ours or whatever. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Keane then responded to that with a picture of his
face like really really close up with writing like he
wrote on the picture, just being like, you know, just
being an absolute dickhead of him being like, yeah, you
look like the kind of guy who's like rank himself
off to WWE and getting fights and stuff. Because the
only thing he followed on Instagram was ww that's hu.
(50:47):
And then your man replied and being like, I know
you won't believe this, but I truly am sorry for
sending that message. I don't know why I did it.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
So I remember this guy and.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
And like you you do really good content in the future.
Just ignore mesters like these.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
It's weirdo what what?
Speaker 4 (51:07):
That's awesome? That's also a yeah thing, but that's also
more of Now I'm putting myself and you know, in
a role where you know you're dumb, you can be dominating.
That's all sick.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
It's all back and forth. Yeah, Like I could have
responded being like yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:21):
Yeah, and then he would and then he would have
got hard on again.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Yeah again. Just twenty four to seven hundles. Yeah you
don't you just don't. You just chop them off. I
guess if I needed another reason to like never do
a face reveal, it would be messages from men saying
you look like you could do with a big black
dick in your mouth or put starfish comments or whatever
(51:47):
like like, no, that's grand, I'll just be an orange forever.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
Oh grand.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah, I've actually never been with a thank you for
your on the pa pig.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah, just the one one right, yeah, I see the light.
Speaker 4 (52:03):
One can come.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Now for wine, I go for wine. I go for wine.
Down to put that, and then a little bottle. No,
it doesn't have the big bottles anymore.
Speaker 5 (52:13):
I
Hello Heals. So this week I have my friend, funny
woman Brian mulholland you might know her as Bria King
or Bria King bad on TikTok or Collette as she
has known on the streets, and her mom, Dera, who
is a retired psychotherapist, so she'll be giving her professional
opinion and Briette will be unprofessional. The two of them
(00:32):
are two gass women comedy gold like what a little duo.
And we're going to look at some stories that listeners
have sent in to us and just some iso wos
difficult situations I have come across online with things that
people have sent into me. Bria shares this disgusting story
of a man like just they're not well like his
(00:54):
as he called it, puckard starfish, and then I tell
the story of how I somehow ended up put a
little paypig of my own there recently. So stay tuned
until the end and keep an eye out next week
for the full pay Pig episode, for he is going
to join us now and Deara is coming in shortly.
(01:14):
I got in a message this girl wanted me to
bring this up in the podcast. A big fan of
the podcast, very tempted to readwn TikTok to us for
your content. She wrote this to me on Instagram. By
the way, I was wondering. I know you say it's
a numbers game when it comes to dating, and I
fully agree. But girl, I'm struggling to get dates. I
am twenty six since February, an architectural designer currently doing
(01:34):
my masters. I've moved around a lot, moved to Dublin
after a year of working in San fran So when
I go on a date, they're always interested in seeing
me again. But the issue is getting the dates. I
wonder sometimes if maybe my photos on the apps are
too and inverted com as Christian. My apps are currently
just a deserted wasteland. Annie fella I get talking to
(01:58):
ends up ghosting me. I can't seem to meet them
in person. Tried the singles nights that McGowan's no good.
Hoping to do a run club soon, but just recovering
from injury so that'll be a while. Would love to
hear your taking this. Maybe it would be a good
topic for the pod. So I had sent you over.
I send you over her pictures because they asked her,
what did you mean by two Christian, Like, as a Christian,
(02:21):
what does that even mean? Can I see your dating
that pictures for a nose? And she said, I meant
just not saucy enough. Yes, absolutely so, yeah, one of her.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
One of her receiving ken Union is a bit much.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
That.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I hate that. I hate that people think like that
they have to be fucking saucy.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's exactly it. Like, for one, right from just that
little snippet, she clearly really like ambitious, like to them,
lived in San Francisco back here. You know, obviously she's
a runner or you know, she's recovering from an injury,
and then she's doing the like I think you do
(03:04):
hear and see how some men can be intimidated by
women who are like driven or whatever. So I think
it's like maybe she just hasn't time someone that's on
the same I don't mean, I don't mean it's a negativate.
I don't mean like the same level, but as in
like the same sort of position in life, especially twenty six, you.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Know, like well, actually, yeah, I know, twenty six, that's
good going.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I mean, sorry, that's like I'm nine years older than that,
so I'm like, you're only a dead bishoer you hope
with life ahead of you. Yeah, I know, like say
true to yourself and who you are, Like, don't be
thinking you need to Like looking at her photo.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Definitely yeah, she's definitely good, Like she's well able to
talk and like I can tell why her messages that
she would give good chat on the apps, So I
can't see why she wouldn't you know, things would lead
nowhere And looking at her pictures like they're not they're
not even fucking totally PG. You know, they're like a
(04:08):
lovely atally tight leather trouser there when.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
She looks quite wholesome and very pretty. Mm hm yes,
temmy tiny teat fashionable, I see, I see nothing wrong
with there's.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
A black number there, tight black top with the waist
out and black tight skirt with a little bit of
a crisscross off the top going across the belly. You know,
I think, fucking it just it just it does sick
in my hole though, the thought of women being like,
oh I'm not getting dates, I'm going to have to
(04:44):
get my tits and ass out. I'm going to have
to break bikini shots.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
That's the whole thing of like, yeah, to get a
man to talk to me, I'm gonna have to sexualize
myself more. And it's kind of like not sexualize yourself more,
but like if you're confident enough, like if you're confident
enough and you want to share a picture of your
body and your bikini and whatever online, then like do
(05:10):
But like for me, I wouldn't be comfortable doing that
for myself, but if someone else is, then absolutely, But
don't do it just so you get more men and
as well, you might just get those gobshots who are
just like, oh yeah, oh yeah, she looks a bit
all right, and then you know, and then and then
(05:32):
you're just going into the loop again of just getting
kind of toxic not toxic. Sorry I'm not using the
right words here, but like of lads who maybe just
aren't looking for something.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Like you need to free yourself, free that speech there. Yes,
toxic men, toxic may I definitely did when I became
single in twenty twenty one and I had lost lots
of weight, I'd lost five stone and then I was
single and I was going for it and I used
to put up Now, I wouldn't call them first traps,
right like if I say third traps, that's going to
(06:04):
paint you a picture. But I was definitely like I
was taking these mirror picks with like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
But you're confident, and you were like, look at me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
There was a couple of bikini picks for you. Good. Great.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But if I was confident in my body, I would
put up bikini picks. You know, I don't see anything.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I don't I still like. Now now I'm like, oh,
like I wouldn't put up a full frontal bikini pick.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think maybe the age has come into it.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, but yeah, exactly, you're in a different point than
what you made late twenties then.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Or what age was I twenty nine, yeah, and I'm
now I'm thirty three. In a few weeks, you are,
we have the birthday night.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And get your friend to come out with us. I'll
find your man. I'm great at shy talking and getting
ment to chat. When I was single, after basically twelve years,
I was, I was used to going out and not
being single and still like chatting away having the crack
of people because I'm just that kind of Yeah. But yeah,
(07:12):
i'd hear of it because I move. But then, like
when I was single, i'd be doing the same thing
and then being like you know then like people ask
for a number and I was like, oh oh yeah,
oh it.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Wasn't what this was.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Oh no, sorry, I'm just super adhd. And if you're
a new person and you're gonna let me talk slight.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
To you, I will. Yeah, you know that is it
would be nice for people to meet in real life again,
but alas like what, I don't know what advice are
we giving her because what are we going to tell
her to do different? Absolutely nothing, just fucking keep going asleep, line.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Going just talk to anyone and everyone like, don't be like,
oh he's not my type.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And I'm not going to chat to him. Yeah that's true,
but it's like the open minded. Do you ever get
to get hit on on the from having the TikTok ah?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Ourseholes literal just thrial our songs. But this is actually
this girl that I'll finish up on this one. But
I had said to her, I said, she has a
nice smile, but every single picture is with her mouth closed,
and maybe that each picture was very posed. And this
is something that I think about myself, where I did
(08:31):
when I was on the app, that if every picture
was very like posed and like situated and hello, look
at me, look at me in my outfit, look at
me standing in my hallway, you know, look at me
in this bathroom, in this fucking hotel whatever. Like you
need to maybe put in an action shot there of
you having a bit of crack, like ugly laughing.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Or something like, yeah, show them the double chin laugh.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
But she was like, all fair enough actually, because maybe
they'd be thinking that I have some bad teeth. Yeah, yeah,
because you could have could be hiding something there. Take
a seat, Take a seat. How are you, Lara, Thank
you very much for giving us your your professional give
you a bit of But yeah, you've been in I
(09:23):
suppose you're not much about help. I think when it
comes to dating and whatever's been, I've never, yeah, never
really dated.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
That's because of it's probably because you've got attachmentshes.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Straight into it, straight into it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And I wonder where that came from. Ma'm over detached.
I'm not anxious at all, no, because because I don't
want you to go alone anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
That was so you were always there. So that's the
opposite of an anxious attachment style. I was very securely
attached to her me. Yeah, yeah, these attachment styles.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
You know, there's secure and then there's insecure, and to
be handy, you just say avoidant and anxious.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You can break them down further. But the secure insecure
avoid I'm anxious and insecure. Can you be two of
the bad ones?
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Yeah, you've probably got it both from each each year caregars.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah. Possibly somebody who's out there say and attracting the
wrong fella the whole time, saying that she likes the
bad boys and you know all lads. You know he's
too nice or I don't like lads who are too
nice to me. What would that be? Then that was
start of the last one.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That'd be much more like being avoidant because you put
your you put your walls up, because you learned when
you were young that you end up maybe one other
parent wasn't all that emotionally available to you, so you
end up kind of hope call like self holding. And
people like that would probably describe themselves as being very independent,
(11:05):
so they can actually feel quite anxious if somebody is
comes over too much for them. They can feel like
someone is too much for.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Them because you ever hear ye girls being like you
found me every day and like I'll get away like
oh yeah, sometimes I'm like, for sure, if he was
only fucking texting you like every bi weekly, you'd be
given out.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It is a bit like I hear like read the
read the room. You know, if the fellow text and
you've took it three times a day and you're not
replying like oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Well he would send, then like he'd be a more
like anxious attachment because they people who have anxious attachment
attachment will generally describe themselves as being like clingy and needy.
They lean in because when they had their early experience
was the parent was sometimes emotionally available and sometimes not,
so they were always kind of chasing the parents attention.
(12:00):
I know this is kind of an over simplification, but
like this is sort of so. So if you're like that,
you will be always have a fear of being like abandoned,
and you'll always be you will be more clined to
be checking like what you're talking about. But then if
you're someone who's got secure attachment, meaning that you're quite
calm and you feel you know you're a worthy person
(12:22):
and you know you're you're worthy of love and a relationship,
well then if that if that anxiously person is, you know,
clinging towards you because you're secure, you can actually you
could deal with them by communicating and then letting them notic.
You know, you don't have to be it doesn't have
to be like you know not you know you're.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Giving me the sending me gifts every.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
They weren't insulted, like not even means like.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Gifts, like you know people who like send a text,
they'd send like two texts and then it's the homer
sence and me a gift of like going to the
butters like sorry, you have a life.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
That's even So that's so much more embarrassing, Like don't
be pointing out that you're getting ghosted, yeah by saying no,
you're ghosting me. You just leave it then, like yeah, dar,
what would you say to somebody who was really clingy
and freaking out and texting the whole time? Like if
your client came to you and you know they were
aware that they were like this, what are they meant
(13:27):
to do? Are they ever aware? I don't know what
this is?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Forty seven's and I sent five names on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
When probably client probably already texted me, but telling each
other yes, that kind of requests what no, but uh,
what would I say when you'd be working, you know,
on a one to one basis, you know, you have
to work things out with people that everyone's an individual,
but talking about what their early really you know, the
patron of their behavior, and you'd get back into talking
(13:56):
about their early stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
And I then realize why they are the way they are.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Welly kind of hope, well, sort of give someone the
heads up about you're kind of leading them into the
awareness bit by bit. And also but it's not a
critical thing, sorry, because they did it to survive.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
People do people?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
We have these behaviors because we needed to survive and
be safe.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So can we look back on when you're working in.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Australia, Well, what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And you had a specific human being who felt their
personal trainer was in love with them.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
There was a person who had a personal trainer one
to one and this lady got very you know close
in her own mind to the to the person the
other person who was much younger than her, but it
was all her own projection, you know, and she was
married but complicated, so really obviously I didn't I know,
(14:57):
I like those people yeah, yeah, So I mean that
she really had. I mean, that's that's a big issue
I think, and that I think that ladies in her
behavior had been when we was trashing it out, that
was quite a behavior that she'd had over the years
with the number of people where she just yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
She's like, you're one now with us the program on Netflix,
Baby Reindeer, Baby Raindew.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
You had your own baby, Like normally I wouldn't have
been a So the word I'm going to use is
direct with this lady, but she I the way I
went to bet it with her, I was saying, you know,
like younger people these days are very quick to get
very letitious, and you know, like I'm just thinking that
the person was going to actually put what you got
(15:42):
bar in order something her restrain avend her.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
And so I kind of stepped her through lightly.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
That she would you know, she really needed to pull
back and stop stop trying to contact the person.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And then I just pointed out what she did.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
But I kept pointing out to her so well, you know,
working it through how they weren't actually.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Making contact with her.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
They weren't actually because what happens when people go to
that level. She starts to imagine every little thing as
a green light, but she accidentally bump into the person
at the shops and think that that he had gone
there because that's where she shot as well.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It just crazy, Yeah, because he was her pet. It
was like, you know, he was just doing this job
being like that, Yeah, you're progressing a great lot of lines.
She was like, you know, and then they're taking it
on as like.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Oh he's obviously Yeah. When I was single and on
the apps, like and I'd be strolling down and there'd
be some unreal like model type that I wouldn't personally
be interested in, but like we're like abs, tanned, like
sculpted and everything, and I'd be like, no, I'm just
a normal girl, and I don't want that.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We're not dead girlgeous, just we're just not going to
be a thing. But I think like then there's other
people who were like, oh, yeah, I matched with him,
and it's very clearly a catfish or else, this man
who's after your money and who's in a different country,
and they're like, yeah, I can believe this. I can
believe that this is like this is this is happening
(17:20):
to me? Yeah, And you know what, but that's proven.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
When we're attracted to somebody, particularly first we actually we're
so you know, delighted to feel in the attraction and
all the good stuff that we disregard, you know that
the negatives our bias. So it starts changing and we
so in other words, initially we almost create a fantasy
when we're attracted to somebody, we don't see any of
the negatives. So true, that's a self esteem thing of like.
(17:49):
But but see everybody's a bit at first guilty of that.
You know, they kind of go, wow, this person, you know,
so we all have that and if you want to
call it in the typical of the norm. And but
then then other people carried carried on to an extreme.
But it is a kind of a bias that we
do at the beginning anyway, us and you just need
(18:09):
to comeone and you're all loved up.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
And you're you know, b I think I'm way better
than bris running around there, like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I remember when I was about nine, nineteen nineteen, I think,
I know, nineteen, I was in second year of college
and I was with this fellow who was three years
older than me, and he was in his final year
college I mean, we were both from the same town,
and I remember that I would buy him pints to
(18:44):
make him stay out with me, or if he'd be like, oh, no,
I have no money to go to the pub, and
I'd be like, I have money. I'd have about forty
euro do you know? It was all my money. I
was meant to go to the shop and get like
noodles with us a wed roll for college. And just
(19:04):
because I was like I just couldn't see that, he
was just like, oh, grand I have no money yet
and could do it a few pints, so we'll go
to the pub. But I was like, oh deadly, you know,
you really like only with soup and age. I look
back at that now and I'm like, oh my lord.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But like some people are happy to take that, you know,
be like she's gonna buy me pints, and that's great,
of course, even later in life, even later in life,
you know, and then it's just like I I don't
think I could just keep you know, taken and taking,
and it's like, oh, I want to go to dinner tonight,
(19:45):
take me out there. It's a fucking Wednesday. And he
used to go off and like pay and but if
that was in his nature. I just I don't think
i'd be able for that. Granted, who's med a neye?
Like I'd be like, well, you are for everything, and
you're paying me save babies.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I don't think that.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I don't think the description of the kind of happened
you have love.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Excuse me. I have a little message that somebody sent
into me m hm for you to give your professional
bredera and unprofessional for your opinion on the two. Okay,
so let me see. You'll probably not see this or reply.
But if you can't, can you give advice on how
(20:29):
to get a date or is there any way of
going from a one night stand to them wanting to
see you again? I'm now a fan of the ass
and can get a one night stand, but that's where
it ends. They promise the world, but I know it's
pure shit, but hopefully thinking that they might ask for
my number or want to see me again. But no, Okay,
(20:49):
is that a female that is female living in Dublin
in her late thirties.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, you know, like yeah, well I just think not
like I know men, but I hear men talk and
I've seen enough to know that like they're getting the
right the Chase is over, so like I just don't
m I don't see. I mean, it'd be nice if
they were like, h yeah, you know, yeah, can I
(21:19):
have your number? Or can I have your Instagram?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah? It's like no, like they're not going to do
that after the right, Like after the right, I don't
think that they're going to feel like there's exceptions whatever
to every rule. But I think the rule is that
once they ride yet and if they get it on
the first night, they'll yeah, I would everyone, that's all.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
It's still there on the first night, yes, because that
is not going to lead to look it can and
it does, but it's not working for her now.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So like if she's.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
If she's if she's able to go out every night
and she knows what to do when she's or they're
flinging themselves at her, or she's flinging themselves, flinging herself
at them, like that's all she's doing. She's not out there.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You know, you don't seeing any sort of meaningful connection.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
And I always thought that like meaningful connection, you're someone
is inserting piece of their body into you. Like how
like I would rather I want a meaningful connection before
that is done. To my innerds like or at least
I at least want to like no, sorry, And that's
not a judgment on her or any meaningful connection. You
(22:36):
want to meaningful connection, go out and go for a
walk with your dog and say ANNs Parker something.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Well, I mean, then I do hand. Some people do
think that that sex is the connection. It's not necessarily,
you know, it's it's how they're viewing intimacy. I would say,
I'm glad. I'm sort of glad you said at first,
because I felt that me as an older woman saying
it would sound like.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
But it's still there.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
That you have to slow down and if you want
to build an authentic relationship, that's go, that's ongoing. You
do it slowly like it's back, you know, Mich of
the Mitch of a coffee, Mich for dinner with grow
to a movie, like.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
If you answer me so much on a night out,
if you tomorrow and hanging to bits and buy yeah,
or I'll buy you brunch.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
But I was going to say, yeah, you know, it
might be a nice magic and then you know, yeah,
walk me home.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
But definitely slowing it down, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, anyways, what's your advice down same as yours really is. Yeah,
that's out there, you know, and like look at the
look at the like it's something the pattern of babe,
Yeah that isn't start king. It's not working for you,
like you do need to you need to change it
up and that whole thing of like it's not about
you need to better yourself, but you need to save yourself. Okay,
(23:53):
well this isn't working for me, So I need to
shift my focus onto like and not going out every
now and get the right I need to ship ship
my focus into like I think a.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Lot of women just shifting exactly, but I think a
lot of shifting do not Yeah, ye, just shifting. No,
no poking. They they think you're on the second day
I needed Jesus. Can I talk it? Can I tax?
But like they can't. They don't want to disappoint the fella.
(24:27):
So you know, if they think, oh, this is such
a great time here, we're shifting away and then he's like, oh,
you know, let's go back to mine, and then a
girl saying no, and then he'd probably be like, oh,
well fuck you then do you know you know, and
then might just leave it exactly. That's what the find
because he's not worth it. That's not he's not he's
(24:49):
not out for what you want.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
You just want.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm not going to relationship with that. But it's like
who gives the ship?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you're disappointing him, It's like you're going to end
up disappointing you like yourself. You're else, and you're gonna
wake up being like, oh, you know, he was so
lovely in Lula and then just like radios ants and
then you're one randal and you pass them by and
you're like, I saw his willie And what do you think.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
About all this cracks that people do. I know you're
probably gonna somehow bring this back to the attachment styles
like vegument. It probably is something I think about, like
you say, gas lighting, bread crumbing, Like bread crumbing would
be when people just hold on to you there like say, yeah,
they just keep you and give you the odd text
here and there like yeah, fellow, that would give me
(25:31):
a good morning with a love heart and not text
me until nine pm again that night I heard good luck.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
You're probably on the broadcast list there.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, oh no, yeah that doesn't make you feel very special.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
You know, he should just made a group.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, text us all.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yeah, no, sorry, no, I mean no, I mean they
are please no, plainly though they are people with issues.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
They are mean here that's something.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Sorry, but you've got an issue, if you're, if you're
and the gas lighting thing.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
They have no goods.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
They can't confront something, and you know, they need they
need to be doing a bit of a work on themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And you know, I saw a quote today that changed
my life. I bet you never thought you'd hear that.
I can't really remember it, but it was something like,
don't let someone else's confusion with life make you question
you're certainties or something. Yeah, yeah, which is a bit
like gas line anyway.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
No, no, not really, Well, don't know what it does
in the sense that it says, don't question yourself. I
mean that the other one is that thing not everything
is about you. You know, we take it on, we go,
oh god, what should I do? Oh Jesus always that
person didn't contact me. It's not you, like like you know,
you say, it's not the way you say, oh it's
not you, it's me. That well that's the other way around. Yeah,
(26:55):
it's it's not me, it's actually you. Yeah, you've got
the issue and.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
If anyone finds them. So I was getting like really
caught up when a guy three or girl or even
in the workplace, like they get like rejected look up
rejections and sensitivity disorder. Oh yeah yeah yeah because yeah, yeah,
I think you might like say the lad that I
(27:20):
went out with from like eighteen to twenty whatever, it's
nearly two years. Like when he broke up with me,
I was devastated, but I so much younger.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Ah yeah that and like his first love yeah as well.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
But those first love things, you think it's love, but
like it or like it's not infactuate. It's more just
like the first feeling of yeh being in Lord.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Like how many people can you be in love with
in your life? Because at this stage now I try
to think back to all the men I said I
love you too, and now well, like I'm thirty two,
so now I was like one and sorry there was
I nowip for whatever eight months said I love you
to him. Then there was five and a half years
before that said I love you to him. Three years
directly before that said I love you to him, two
(28:09):
years before that said I love you to him.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
That's four Yeah, that's right, there isn't. There isn't the
one that's a fallacy. There are many the ones, and.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I couldn't have been with those ones. Yep. They can
love everybody who can.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Polyyambory yeah, polyamorous.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
But you did love them when you were with with
that's the point. You did have love, You did have
love for them, you were in love. But then there's
the love. You know, you're in love, like and it
fell out. First boy friend, yeah, I was in love
with them, but like you know, hm for you eighteen
eighteen to twenty Yeah, I did. Yeah, and then my
(28:56):
last relationship, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
In love and then.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Moved on.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
So you're on number three, I'm on five.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I'm on number three.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I'm trying to delete them, to delete a few outher
these I have.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I have that.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There's this girl who messages me a good bit on
the page, just kind of talking about her dating modes
and disasters or whatever, and usually everything that she has
said to me, she sends me in screenshots of conversations
that she's had on dating apps with fellas and generally
everything that she has said. I have been like on
her side. You know, she's she's had it tough. She's
spoken to a few eegis who have, like you know,
(29:35):
gotten very sexual or whatever, and she's just like, oh,
fox sake, here we go again, like another one of
these fellas. Most she sent me a screenshot there a
few weeks ago of her conversation with the man and
it was just a normal enough conversation. They were kind
of talking about their experiences with the apps and their
backgrounds with relationships, and he said that he has never
(29:58):
had a long term relationshi and that he would be
quite choosy with who he wants to actually have a
proper relationship with, and he is just you know, being
careful that way. But she then lashed out and said, Jesus,
will you get a grip. You're forty one and balding
(30:19):
and you've never had a long term relationship. Best to
look to you. So then she sent me that screenshot,
and I was obviously a bit shock because she thought
that there was nothing wrong with what had happened there.
The man had been completely polite, and I said, Jesus,
that's very harsh. If he's forty one never had a
(30:40):
long term relationship, that's up to him just to end
the conversation, like, no need to Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, so the fella, yeah exactly, and it's like it's
a physical an age insult as well, which is a
bit shite. And like the thing is I seen like
from your content and from friends and stuff that like
men will also just be like would expect your fucking
like shriveled up buttre or something like that.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Do you think the trigger for her said to me
was and the trigger of her might may have been
something about the fact that he said, I haven't been
in a long term relationship and like but then he's
like he's engaging with her, and maybe she's sick of meeting.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I'm not trying to find what she said to him,
but I something triggered in her about this this thing
about men.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Who won't commit.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yeah, it could have been something just in her though
when I hear another fucking need to hear you know,
another one, and she just might have just in the moment,
just gone, for God's sake, you want to get Yeah,
that's whatever she said, get over your seven. But but
to attack anyone physically, you know, I start as in
sorry about their looks.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Is that it's well not the way to be going,
you know, it's a thing, they say, don't be like,
obviously she's had issues with other fellas. So then she
just met this man who, for all intents and purposes
was a grand fella. And what is that saying about,
don't be building your new house, yes, bricks from your
old house. Exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Yeah, it is that.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
It's like, exactly, it's kind of that.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yeah, trying to sort of realizing that this this interaction
here is is it is its own unique interaction. It's
not yet, it's not. It doesn't to do to do
with all the other stuff that went before.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Yeah, it just says that.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Something just snapped in her h and as well about
sorry about that something. There's something in it in the
fact she's got a load of shout from men. She's
like this, I'm gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Unfortunately for that guy, he was the one.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
He was, yeah, the receiver having something and it has
to be what he said about not having been in
a Yeah, you know that stands out, doesn't.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
So I said that to her, I said, yeah, that's
very harsh of you. Just end the conversation. No need
to insult the fellow. By all means. Thread carefully online
and if you notice something, you don't like, definitely end
the conversation. But if you're getting very riled up having
these conversations, I think the apps aren't for you. And
then she said, yeah, my friend said the same. I know.
(33:21):
I think I was just pissed off. He was probably
the third guy that I was texting, so obviously something
like and it's like, you know, and they have lots
of hope and you know what that goes.
Speaker 4 (33:30):
Back to, which I think has been kind of I
can't go where it's been, where it's been a proven
or researched, but there is a sense that when people
are just on the apps and wiping along and in
you know, engagement and say a few people at a time,
that there is a sense of the people everyone gets
a bit objectified. So you're not it's because it's so
(33:54):
like screeny and just sliding the screen. Yeah, that's sometimes
the kind of the human pit can go out of it.
And and like she she yeah, she just she got weary.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Yeah, people need to just have a bit more respect, like, yeah,
you're dealing with other people.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
People and he stops seeing it, she stops seeing what
happened to him?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Then?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Was she she didn't see him really as a person.
She was just she just yeah, And I say that's
that A lot has happened, and that does start to happen,
like people, they get weary, it becomes you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Would you if you It's like the hate comments and
shot that we get in line, it's like, would you
say this to my face.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
In real lights?
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You know, the hiding behind don't even own up to
who they are, Yeah, hiding behind the thought.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, yeah, yes, you've.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Had some probably the worst, not even hate comments. I
can't even. I gn't even they're not even hate comments,
just going on in there and let us have it.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, yeah, so m whatever. Regretfully, I don't even know
why I had my email, like an email attached to
my TikTok, because I don't respond to any like promotional
or what anything, because I'm just like I don't want
to be doing that online, Like I don't want to
be like, hey, you want to buy this fucking moisturizer
or whatever that. So I got an email and I
(35:15):
could see it was a Gmail account and like it
wasn't like a whatever, but I had two attachments in it.
I mean I opened it. I didn't think the two
photos that I got would just automatically open up and
it was just like two pictures of someone's spread shitty
arsehole m and I was just like, that is just
(35:38):
fucking disgusting, Like and I didn't I didn't reply, I
didn't do anything at all because I was just like,
that's just so fucking weird.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
No text, just two assholes because.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I kind of anyway, yeah yeah. But in connection with that,
someone replied to my story on TikTok being like the
amount of money I'd paid to see a big black
dick in that mouth. Then I got another text message
another DM being like I would pay an increase an
(36:16):
insane amount of money for you to spread your ars open,
give me a good look at that puckage shitter and
then fart into the camera and send it to me.
So I instantly blocked them.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Oh you didn't, did you crack?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
That's then like a week later I was chatting to
the girls and work because the conversation came up about
pay pigs and all this stuff. I was like, actually,
I've got some weird fucking messages and we were like, sure,
are we a message or acting be like how much?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
As a joke?
Speaker 2 (36:48):
So I met his back being how much I know
stupid anyway, two hundred duro, take or leave it. I'll
be willing to up the price. I was like block
and then and this is another message, and it was
the same thing of I want to see your arsehol
(37:09):
you know, far to cameras and crap like that, and
joke me again how much? Hey? This all sounds weird,
I know, but I'm being dead serious when I say
that I will pay you any amount of money you
want to become your pay pick. I've opened a cofi,
coffee or whatever account, and I'm willing to pay you
(37:30):
whatever you like.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Just name the price.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
In return, I would love if you could send at
least one video picture of your feet per month.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I think this.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I think this could be really fun for the both
of us. You get paid and I get to worship
you like you deserve. If you decline this offer, that's
perfectly fine. I would just love a yes or no
answer in another message. It wouldn't even have to be
a video or a picture of your feet.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
It could just be like one of your face. My
star prices four hundred.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'd be glad to go hired, though, And then I
get two emails from the ship our sole picture guy.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
After this, So now I'm thinking, sorry, what are these
timeframes that we're talking about here that all of these
people are coming through with these message It was a.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Week and a half. So I'm like, they're all the
same person.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yeah, it's all related.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
They're all the same person. And to the accounts had
like the same they both had Bailey in it. But
then but then one of those counts changed their username.
So one email, I was dead serious. By the way,
I would glad to play anything for a video of
your fard in the camera two indredviewers institute. So I'll
raise it for four hundred.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm begging here.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'll send it to you on kofee or wherever as
you want it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I'll even pay monthly on top of that.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
That many what do you think, smiley face?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
If you decline, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
So that's definitely it's the same language as the ticket,
and then follows up with another email another thing. It
doesn't have to be farting into the camera. I pay
four hundred zero or just have a personalized video of
you doing anything. It seems obsessive, it seems weird. I
understand that, but I would genuinely pay anything. I would
(39:16):
even become your pay pig. All I need is a
yes or no. If you decline, then I will not
pursue and I will move on. I've already made my
account apology. All you need to do is think on it.
Like I'm like, I'm not replying with yes or no,
but definitely not yes, and I'm not replying with no
because he could be some fucking rido that will get
something out of me.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Even nicely.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Every bit of the process for that person, he's already
getting his rocks off just by messaging you. Yeah, so
every bit of it is contaminated and perverted, and that's
why you never respond. It's kind of nice though, he
had he had me in mind when he sat on
the ground, spread his arsol and used the lash camera in.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
That love bit take a picture.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So already he's abused so I know. No, on a
serious note, he's already abused you.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, you've already been abused.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
By that sounds and harassed.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I'm looking up here. Paypig, the submissive participant in financial
domination who provides another person with money like a pay pig,
is meant to be submissive, you know, and it seems
that what went on there sending you an unsolicited picture
of their arsehole. That's not a submissive person. You're being dominated.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
You've been dominated that asshole, no absolute, whether not be
that's what they're trying to do there. They're setting sorry,
they're coming across as it. I pay you, and you
know I'm the weak one and your you're the dominatrix.
That's not it at all. That's not what's going on
there at all. It's quite the opposite.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
So I got I went on holidays with my boyfriend
so that must have been in October last year, and
got a message from a fellow saying that he was
a pay pig and that he wanted to send me
money and would be okay, And I was like if
you want, I said, there's there's a PayPal there on
(41:14):
my account, like my I'm anonymous online anyway, I don't
have a face or anything. So I felt I couldn't
be that sexualized really with the orange head on me.
So it's just mad for fruit.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
He's like putting dick in a free one home like
instead of like a watermelon anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Orange burns I So I said, like, go on ahead
there but I'm not, like I'm not doing anything for you,
like I'm not talking to you, I'm not doing anything.
And he was like, no, that's fine, Like I really
enjoy your page and I would like to, you know,
make it it's a regular thing. And I was like,
(42:02):
you go on ahead there as much as you want
to send to the PayPal account. But then he would
ask for things like can you send me a voice note?
Now me and my boyfriend were sitting there concocting our
replies together. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he was like, this
is fucking mad.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Myself and Keen have done that as well. Actually, when
I got a previous message about how I look like
a girl that would prefer come on my face in
my arsehole, anys go.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
On, it's as rough, it's good, like it's yeah, but
fucking hell like having like obviously you have your face
and everything out there, and to know that these weirdos
are imagining all this stuff about you is just so freaky.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
But so me and my fellow were responding to manyway
and like then he's say things like I you know
I've sent you like they would be kind of twenties,
thirties and fifties here and there like what there were.
Sometimes he might send it after a few days here
and there, and sometimes there might be weeks in between,
and hear from him. I think that he's completely disappeared
off face the earth. But then he would say things like, oh,
(43:05):
I sent you that there. Goddess is what he would
call me, but you know, yeah, a goddess. Like I
was just all and I said, okay, cheers, And then
he said, I'm going to go and write pig on
my forehead now and walk around the town. And I said,
like the whole thing was making me very unhoportable, because
(43:27):
the whole thing is stalky. He was talking to you.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
He's send me a fibers into whatever. But that's his
way of stalking you. He's got he's got his in
like that. He doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Because stalking doesn't just mean following somebody.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
No, it's spoking like that. Or he set it up
where he's got he has an in with you. Even
though you're going I don't want that, I'll suit yourself.
He's still he'll still read that as ash. She really
does want me to be doing this, And like any.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I listened to Nika Talent, the Larry Murphy podcast and
that whole thing, you know, when she was doing the
kind of introduction and leads in leading into it was
that in Larry Murphy's mind, he believed that every act,
every woman actually wanted to be fucking raped and well, okay,
maybe not right, but like dominated and that sort of thing.
(44:20):
So it's like they believe, they needly truly believe in
their head that like, you know that you actually really
want it?
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Do you want it? Yeah? Well the type of person
who is happy to give away their money, Like so
what did they do? And they're they're saying that they're
like happy to be financially dominated. But what it does
is it because they're they want to give away money
so that they basically buy some of your time, you know,
to just get some part of some interaction.
Speaker 4 (44:51):
It's a it's a it's a quirk kind of perversion,
and it's a I would suggest that there is a
sexual obviously connection with it is sort of like it's
just feel like I have an in with this person
that they're obsessed about. And Mammo comes back to the attachment.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
With their mother and ao Mammy didn't love them enough,
and they always and they always thought that what they
had to like support their moment, their moments too independent.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So you know it's complex, but like it's come to
the breasted them to send them down to me, tell them,
tell them you can pay me for a session, never
mind sending me a fifty europe I'm retired.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
They have come across many perversions or perverts or anything,
and you're like that they'd come to you and say, like,
I have something fucking mad, 'll put me here, Like
would you come across these personally?
Speaker 4 (45:50):
They don't know, they they don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
No, have I met someone like that? No?
Speaker 4 (45:54):
I actually haven't worked with anyone who will need nerves proper. No,
not with that kind of They never told me, justn't know.
This is the mad one, just that mad woman from
us that we thought, oh that was now. Some people
do get obsessed about other people, but I haven't had
real thankfully.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I'm going to say, yeah, I felt real sorry for
that sella who so like, actually, I have a whole
other podcast episode. It's going to come up next week,
so the week after this one goes out, and just
kind of talking about my pay pick, and I'm going
to read out the messages between the two of us
(46:34):
just to show like how fucking bizarre it was name
and I like totally pulled back like I wasn't. I
was like ignoring his messages because sometimes he would be
clearly wanting me to communicate back with him, where he'd
be like telling me to write on my forehead and
I was like.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
Well, yeah, are him saying to you he was going
to go off down the town with pig put on
his forehead like that was the sort of cry for help.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
You to be going, oh no, don't do that.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
It might be well you can't. You know there was
something there where he was trying to poke a kind
of an engagement there for you to stop him doing that.
And you're there like.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah now, because I was just like yeah, no, bother
tombs up, Like but see.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
The grim side of that is you don't know what
that person is then going to say to you. Another point,
I'm standing on top of it, on the on the
on the verge of a bridge here and I'm gonna
throw myself in like you're don't have far all that
shit's going to go.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, if they have that kind of there's something I
feel like, if you're not they're not well it's not,
it's not that's it. And then so I had actually
put up a poll on Instagram to say, if somebody
offers you money and offered to be a pay pig
where you didn't have to do anything and they were
just happy enough to send you money like on PayPal,
would you do it? And it was like an overwhelming yes.
(47:47):
Everyone's like, yeah, fuck it if somebody wants to send
me money, and I was like, okay, grant, I felt
it a bit better, but I did feel like, is
am I.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Is this me?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
Am? I praying on a mentally person like what is
going on here?
Speaker 3 (48:00):
That you know?
Speaker 4 (48:01):
It sounded like you were just so of going go
away with yourself there, whatever you have in yourself.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah, like that you try not.
Speaker 4 (48:08):
I've kind of felt as if you were almost trying
by saying that maybe you were trying to take the
the air out of it.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah no, you just go No, you just don't. No.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
I don't think people understand that, like my free money
grand But then it's like like like for me when
I because I got a message like that before and
your man sent me like thirty or forty and he
was like I can send more.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
And then I just stopped interacting.
Speaker 4 (48:33):
Yeah, just don't go.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
There, because I was like, there's a deeper there's a
deeper thing. Oh definitely, you know there's something that's not
right and that, and then it's like, oh, I feel
like you know you've opened up, You've opened up something
to them.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
You have, you've opened up and you are being yeah,
like you're probable in a way.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
You know, you've opened up a pooked starfish.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I do that and time.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
But he so he had agreed to come on my podcast, yes,
and he he was excited about it, and I was like,
this is good because I actually have a girl who
who did this pay pig and like she did the
financial domination as in like she was receiving money from
a man and she was abusing the shit out of
(49:23):
him and that's what he wanted. So like we have
it from that perspective, and then I was going to
get my own paypig on to talk about what is
going on with them, and you know, have a bit
of back and forth. Royal would tell him, you know,
so I was feeling feeling guilty every time you kind
of send me money. I didn't really know what's going on.
And then he he sent me a message there the
other day saying that he can't, he can't do it,
(49:44):
and he blocked me. So that was fine of him.
Speaker 4 (49:48):
Well you see when it became real that all right.
Oh sorry, but that's what happened there. Sorry, when it
got real, he can't. He can live in the fantasy.
But you made it, You've got real. It got real
and then he blocked you.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Thank god it's gone now. But I said to my boyfriend, Ay, look,
I'm just going to get him on for the podcast
and then I'm going to tell him this. This is
the end of it now. I think it's gone on,
like it's gone on.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
It's just over six months or whatever.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
And I thought, yeah, yeah, And now the other thing
with that Instagram message I got about you know you
look like a girl who prefer.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Come in her face and in ours or whatever. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Keane then responded to that with a picture of his
face like really really close up with writing like he
wrote on the picture, just being like, you know, just
being an absolute dickhead of him being like, yeah, you
look like the kind of guy who's like rank himself
off to WWE and getting fights and stuff. Because the
only thing he followed on Instagram was ww that's hu.
(50:47):
And then your man replied and being like, I know
you won't believe this, but I truly am sorry for
sending that message. I don't know why I did it.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
So I remember this guy and.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
And like you you do really good content in the future.
Just ignore mesters like these.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
It's weirdo what what?
Speaker 4 (51:07):
That's awesome? That's also a yeah thing, but that's also
more of Now I'm putting myself and you know, in
a role where you know you're dumb, you can be dominating.
That's all sick.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
It's all back and forth. Yeah, Like I could have
responded being like yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:21):
Yeah, and then he would and then he would have
got hard on again.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Yeah again. Just twenty four to seven hundles. Yeah you
don't you just don't. You just chop them off. I
guess if I needed another reason to like never do
a face reveal, it would be messages from men saying
you look like you could do with a big black
dick in your mouth or put starfish comments or whatever
(51:47):
like like, no, that's grand, I'll just be an orange forever.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
Oh grand.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah, I've actually never been with a thank you for
your on the pa pig.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah, just the one one right, yeah, I see the light.
Speaker 4 (52:03):
One can come.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Now for wine, I go for wine. I go for wine.
Down to put that, and then a little bottle. No,
it doesn't have the big bottles anymore.
Speaker 5 (52:13):
I
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