October 26, 2025 • 44 mins
In the final episode of The Dating Orange Podcast, Monica talks about the challenges she faced after her relationship with John ended. She shares her disappointment with the lack of support from the guards and how she even faced a Tusla investigation for leaving her daughter alone for a few hours while she worked. We also hear reconstructions of some of the calls she recorded from John - showing clearly his threatening behaviour. This episode wraps up her story and the experiences of the women who came forward.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You meet a man. He's funny, attentive, he actually listens
to you. You go on a date and you get
home with sore cheeks from laughing. He says all the
right things, wants the same things. It feels easy and rare.
Dates turn into a relationship and you think this is
exactly what you've been looking for. Now imagine discovering everything
(00:22):
he told you was a lie, and you're only one
of many women he has on the go. This is
a story of Filthy John, a compulsive liar, a manipulator,
a man with a serious drug problem, a habit of stealing,
and a dangerous temper. On the surface, he was hilarious, affectionate,
the perfect man. But behind the scenes, he was creating
(00:44):
chaos in multiple women's lives, lying to them, mirroring their personalities,
love bombing, stealing, vanishing, reappearing, and slowly wrecking their sense
of reality. These women didn't just overlap, their lives became
tangled in the most bizarre ways. In this podcast, you'll
(01:05):
hear from five of them, five women brave enough to
sit down and tell their story. There are more, but
some of them are too scared to speak. This is
a story about manipulation, survival, and the power that comes
when women start comparing notes. Monica was with John on
and off for two and a half years, finally ending
(01:28):
things for good on Christmas Day twenty twenty four after
finding proof of multiple other relationships on his phone, Like
Linda and the other women she had been through the
ringer with John, Yes, there were good times and plenty
of laughs, but when things were bad, they were very bad.
In Monica's last episode, we heard how things took a
terrifying turn one night during their friendship stints, when she
(01:50):
asked for her car back, a car she had loaned
him to go on a date with another woman. He
turned up at her home late at night, where both
his daughter and her daughter were a seep upstairs, and
held a wrench over her head. Monica genuinely thought he
was going to kill her and leave her there in
a pool of blood for the girls to find the
next morning. When the podcast was in the works, Monica
(02:11):
feared what might happen once it aired, but until then
she decided to keep things civil, to play it smart
so she could gather evidence of his behavior for when
she would need it.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
After my breakup with John, there was a complete silence,
radio silence. I decided I didn't want them in my life.
And then but he started emailly. I'm guessing it was
about the girls, his daughter and my daughter. For the
playdates the girls we would meet up. He would just
drop his daughter off to my house and then come
(02:45):
back for her a few hours later. And then it
kind of went from that to a random text message
because it was just easier to unblock him because of
the communication of the girls, the playdates. And then we
suddenly started making video calls. When he started making video
calls and working on our friendship. At that stage, I
(03:09):
had already found a good few women from his past,
and I decided to play the master game, which meant
that I was talking to him pretending that I was
considering for giving him or forgetting Rather, he was just
(03:29):
chatting to me like nothing happened, like we're best made,
flirting with me. I was recording on all those conversations
then sharing them with my other sister wives, and we
were having a great crack. There was a time one
evening that Linda was at my house and we were
drinking and John made a video call and Linda was
(03:53):
sitting on the chair beside me. But I was talking
to him. We were both drunk, Linda and I. He
was talking about, you know, his the recent girlfriend, the
pink lady as I call her, and he would be
telling me because he didn't know the Linda was there.
You know that he was unhappy that he made such
a big mistake. She's too big for him as size wise. Now,
(04:19):
I'm very straightforward anyway, but when I'm drunk, that's just
a now filter whatsoever. I said, Listen, mate, let me
stop you there. Let me just remind you, Linda, it's
scarvy him. It's scary, isn't This lady was scarvy? And
if I remember well, I was the one who was
always too skinny for you. You would always tell me
(04:41):
your exercise too much, you walk too much, you need
to you need to eat more, you know, So do
not tell me that she's she's too carevy for you,
because this seemed to be your type. He said, Oh, well,
actually it's not even that. It's just she's too small
as a john. Will you fuck awful? You just stop
making this ship up, you know. Just oh and you know,
(05:02):
but I tell you she's no sense of humor, so wow,
if you think it would be feeling sorry for you.
That's your that's your Carara. Now, I asked him, so,
what was it that you were attracted to? Oh, she's
kind so well, good for you, Good for you. It
(05:23):
sounds like a perfect relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
In the days before this podcast, dared Rita, the mother
of John's daughter, reached out to his current girlfriend, the
Pink Lady, as Monica called her. She asked politely for
a coffee and a chat for the Pink Lady to
hear everything from her perspective, and she was told, in
no uncertain terms, to fuck off.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
This was going on for months now months, I mean
him ringing me and telling me about his life, and
we were having jokes and after I finished recording, send
to other ladies and will have a great crack and
then we compare the notes. Because there was a stage
that he was chatting to Linda, to Anya and myself
about the same things but with a different spin depending
(06:06):
on the converse of the person the same screenshots. Let's say, oh,
he's so something on Telly, so he sent me to me.
He sent to Linda's in the tunia with signing different commentary,
you know, was just more personalized for each one of us.
That was going on for months until he sent me
a photograph of the pizza box. Right. I was in
(06:30):
the middle of the group chat with the other ladies.
I took a screenshot of the pizza box and I
send it to the other group, and then they asked
me about something. So I went back to his messages.
I checked whatever I needed, and then I recorded a
voice message said, ladies, does anyone recognize this class table? Also, Linda,
(06:58):
I think he likes the shoes that you got in
for Christmas. Sent Maybe twenty seconds later, I get a
text message from John, I hope you're having fun. By
the way, Linda didn't buy me those shoes. Oh my god,
(07:19):
I thought I was going to die. I was starting
with that phone. I didn't know I was laughing. This
is like a nervous laughter, passing myself laughing for my
own stupidity. I said, how I knew that this would
happen at some stage, but that's just such a stupid mistake.
So then I text the other girls, and obviously there
was no one around, no where will help me? I
(07:40):
rang Linda. Linda on the way back from work, answering
her car. Zero help she was. She found it so funny.
She was just sitting in the car just laughing aloud.
No help whatsoever, zero support. So that's how John found
out that I was. That's when we ended the our chats.
(08:02):
My question to the girls was, has anyone recognized the
glass table, because we presumed that it was someone taken
someone else's house, and who was just, oh, we can
go back to our investigation. Maybe there's another woman in
the picture, you know. So the next thing, I get
a catalog I mean, and maybe twelve photographs taken on
(08:24):
the table with a glass top that some of most
of them were photographs of cocktail sausages because that's what
he eats most of the time. So I've got another,
like a full folder of cocktail sausages on a different
plates on the glass table. He was just so angry.
I mean, so Linda didn't buy me those shoes, And
in finest Linda looked at the photographs on it says, no,
(08:46):
he's right, they wearing the shoes. I bought the from anywhere.
It was, well, his dad's stable, because he doesn't have
a fucking table, does he. He doesn't have anything, But yeah,
it was it was his Dad's was just the fact
that he got so annoyed that he went through his
phone and found every single picture of them. This was
probably a couple of weeks before the podcast, because we
(09:09):
decided to let him know about the podcast after I
think the last episode. Yeah, we were waiting for Onya's episode,
and then we started. Okay, we were drinking the four
of us at Onyon's house and it wasn't a drunken decision.
Now it's helped, but we decided it was time. And also,
as I said, I was getting quite emotionally tired of
(09:34):
playing this game. Now. It was a masterful game. And
one of the reasons I was staying in touch with
him because this was this was giving us information and
I would always be two steps ahead. We were always
kind of worrying, you know, if he knows something. So
if he was in touch with me almost every night,
I knew that he's clueless. So we send him the
(09:57):
way that I played him, you know, and he thought
that we he was getting my friendship back, while I was,
you know, I was just being a bitch, like a
ruthless I didn't know that I had it in me.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Although Monica had told John the Garda were keeping an
eye on her, driving by the house every so often.
It turned out, unbeknownst to her, that they actually weren't
looking back. At her experience with them, she feels completely
let down by the Garden. If John had followed through
on any of his threats, she may not be here today.
It was only by the grace of God that he
didn't act on them.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
After we recorded the podcast, I was encouraged by other
girls or other women in our group to go to
the guard and let them know that things were happening,
or they might be happening and they might experience some
threats from John. I went to the garden station. I
(10:51):
met a young guard for some reason. All the guards
where I live anyway, and they're like straight from school.
He listened to my story like he was watching Netflix
episode of a true crime. He was just astonished a
great crack, and in fairness, I was laughing with him
because they are parts of the story, the story that
(11:12):
they are actually very funny. He put my name on
the system because my request to him I was listen,
I don't know if something is going to happen, but
if it does, I want someone to know that if
I ring in the middle of the night. This is
not just a random phone call. I don't want to
be waiting for the guards for four hours. I wanted
to be here within a few minutes if possible, because
(11:34):
it might be urgent. So those grants. He put my
name in the system, he checked his profile on their
system as well, and and those grand So I felt
kind of safe because that first step was made, and
then we recorded a podcast. Then when it went out,
(11:55):
I decided to kind of follow up with the guards.
So I made a phone called the guards in the evening,
probably nine o'clock in the evening, and again with the
encouragement of other women, saying, listen, you know this is
out now, like you're really need to take steps because
I'm very I was very aware, right if he gets
(12:15):
if he finds out, you know, I will be focus
of his anger, rightly, So so I said, okay. So
I rang the guards, the guard the station, a local
guard station here. I spoke to a very nice guard
again too call my details. He took my address, my
phone number, and he is listed. The only thing I
(12:36):
can do at the moment is just for you to
feel safe. I'll just send the you know, the squad
card kind of to to run around the Uther state
at night, says the grant. I was delighted with it.
So next day I went to the guards, to the
guarden station anyway, because he actually did suggest that listen,
it's probably better if you go and talk to them personally.
(13:00):
I went there and I found out that there was
no record of me calling the guard the guard the
station nowhere. I actually had to show them my phone
with the call log seven minutes long conversation at nine
o'clock in the evening with the guarda station. They kept
asking me about the name of the guard and I said, listen,
(13:21):
I just don't remember, Like this is a stressful situation,
I you know. But obviously nowhere there was no information
in the book, there was no information in the system.
My phone call did not exist, which also meant that
probably did never send the guards drive around my estate,
because how could they. Things are not going to go
(13:41):
as well as I was hoping. Sorry, that's actually after
I received the first threats via text messages. So there
is me at the guard the station in the little
waiting room. The guards are behind the glass window kind of,
and there's me on the other side with four other
people behind me, and there's a young guardy a girl
(14:04):
talking to me and asking about the details of my visit,
and so I explained it kind of generally as there
are people behind me and this is quite personal, but
they wanted me to give them full details. So don't
you want to talk to us? I said, well, I do,
but I would prefer to do it in the separate room,
so there are no people behind me listening to the conversation.
(14:26):
So that took a moment. But if finally decided okay,
shall will take it to the room. I told them
my story again Netflix, this has to go to Netflix.
That's all right. I read her the messages from John.
That girl didn't really know what to do with me.
So then she called over another officer who was kind
(14:48):
of higher rank, and again there is me explained the
same story, telling him reading him the messages, which I
thought that they were quite intimidately, and he says to me,
have do you have anything kind of more threatening? They
(15:09):
don't really sound that intimidating to me. I said, well,
well I probably have, because I actually did. I have
to go back somewhere. But they were the most recent ones,
I said, But what do you mean they don't sound intimidating.
I said, he's not stupid. He's not going to send
me a text message saying I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to slash your throat. I'm going to do
all that he's telling me. By the way he's speaking
(15:32):
to me, I know he's intimidating me because I know
him well. I recognize the tone of the messages. So
he says, well, yes, but you know it's very personal.
What might sound intimidating to you doesn't really sound intimidating
to me, so we would need something stronger. So that
was very disappointing. And I got really annoyed with him,
(15:56):
and he says, are you happy with that? I said, no,
I'm not happy with this. I said, let's just pray
that when he comes to my house in the middle
of the night trying to kill me, that I will
manage to get a proved that is convincing enough to
you to actually do something about it. You know, it's
just ridiculous, like, how am I supposed to feel safe
if the guard thinks that I'm making shit up. I
(16:18):
went home, found the messages. I got a phone number
to the young guard, the lady guard. I sent her
the messages that they were more threatening. And then the
phone calls started. John started calling me on private number
because he's blocked everywhere, so that's the only option. And
I wasn't going to answer any of those, but he
(16:40):
kept ringing and ringing, and I was getting really really
stressed out because all of this was bringing the old trauma,
you know, Like I do think that I suffered from
slight PTSD from all this experience with him, especially the
one with the wrench. So every single time, maybe not
as much now, but there was a peer. Every single
time my phone rang on a private number, I knew
(17:03):
that was him because he's the only person who does it.
Like I would physically start shaking. I decided, oh, hold on,
because I knew why he was ringing. You know, this
wasn't going to be a pleasant chit chat, you know,
and a cat chat. Okay, I said, I answer. I
just set up the screen recording on my phone, and
there he was right left and center, threatening, apologizing, threatening again,
(17:28):
and telling me that he was going to come after me,
come after Linda, and come after Anya.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And The following are reconstructions of parts of conversations that
Monica recorded once that I have personally heard, but panticlude
here for legal reasons.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Well, if you think this is a game, I don't care.
I don't care about Lucas or the guards. I will
find you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You think I was bad Saint Patrick's Day? I will
find you. Do you think I'm just gonna let this go?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That? I know you won't let it go. Hence I
went to the guards. Hence am I getting a safety order?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
You're not gonna get it in time. I am five
minutes from your house. I have no idea how angry I.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Went it from my house, John, because I'd got to
the guards on call and they know that then to
be here within minutes when I call them. So don't
you dare come into my house.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Do you want to have the child in your life?
You should care.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
If I don't get to see the child on Thursday,
I guess I'll be seeing you. You should call your
guard friends. Okay, okay, okay, see you later. You think
(19:03):
you think to take care? Now? Did you send it
to my family?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
All right? Well I didn't send it to your family.
It was that's that's all I can.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Tell you, Yeah, your podcast was a mistake. I can
wait for protection. When it caused a year or two,
I can weait and I will go to jail. I
will go to jail happily.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
This is what he said. And if you think that
the Patty's Day was bad, Patty's Day was the time
that he attacked me with a wrench. So the second
he said that, I knew that I just had it.
You know this, this is a threat. It can't get
I can't get any better than that. But anyway, I
(19:49):
think he rang me that night four times, and I
was recording those and sending all those recordings to Linda
Anya and let's her call her Rita, his daughter's mom,
So they were oh listening while I was talking to him.
All of them was a combination of him apologizing, trying
(20:12):
to make commends, and then getting angry and threatening me again.
And then he was kind of fringing me again, feeling
bad and apologizing because obviously he realized, oh, this is
not the approach I should be taking. So I'll apologize.
Everything sent to that guard's phone number, and guess what,
(20:32):
I have heard nothing from them till this day. I
called the guards. A few times I was speaking to
that lady. She was getting annoyed with me. I could
hear it in her voice that she was getting annoyed
with me for keep asking the same questions. Has anyone
listened to the recording? So then he's once in the messages.
(20:55):
There was a especially assigned guard to my case who
was either on holidays, or he was upset at work,
or he was on something, and he never contacted. He
was the one who was supposed to get in touch
never did so. The only reason I feel safe is
because we got our safety orders and protection orders. Now. Fortunately,
(21:18):
John is really a coward, so he wouldn't do it.
He talks a lot, and I know from my own
experience that he can get dangerous, but most of the
time it's just big mouth. That's all there is. It's
just you know, big bravado. You know, I'm this scary
man who can I can hack your phones and I
(21:38):
can hack your devices. No, he cannot. The real reason
he was able to gather all the data, all the
information from our phones or laptops or whatever, is because
he had access to those when we were asleep, and
he doesn't because obviously he likes speed. That's what he does.
(22:00):
He just helps himself. And he's very perceptive too, So
he knew my past pass code. You know, the thing
that you put with your finger to open your phone.
He knew that, and I never showed it to him.
But then again, I wasn't never. I was never hiding it.
You know, we were a couple, we were friends. If
(22:20):
not a couple, we were friends, but he was always
around and with every single one of us it was
the same case because you know, he was awake all
night long while we were all asleep. Easy peasy in
my case, but I don't know what. Like I'm writing
a book now and when I go through all the messages,
I can see it so clearly now, step by step,
(22:45):
how this happened. But when you're in it, this is
not you know, things don't happen overnight. It's just it's
like time, little steps. Every day there's you know, he
takes away more of your soul and more of your brain,
and he just things happen so quickly, and there are
so many things happening that like for me anyway, I
(23:08):
don't think my brain was fast enough to follow up
with this. So it was just kind of one lie
today follow up with another lie, and the other lie
seemed to be more important. So then I was forgetting
about the first one. And then he gave me some
sort of explanation. Okay, maybe maybe, yeah, it sounds reasonable.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I'm making this shit up.
(23:30):
You know, it's just you're going crazy. Well, we all
went through the same thing, and obviously some of them
had worse experiences than the other. It also depended on
the length of the relationship. Some ladies. Ladies were with
for a few months and most of that would have
(23:52):
been kind of phone calls and text messaging and maybe
a couple of visits. Some of them were a few
years longer relationships. In a relationship a couple of times
they had broken up, and then years years later he
came back to their lives for a short period of time.
I'm guessing this was the time that, you know, between
(24:13):
the girlfriends, that he had someone lined up, but he
wasn't ready, like I know in my case, he finished
his relationship with Teresa. He obviously was working on me,
but I wasn't ready. So he then got back with
another of his women from years and years ago. He
(24:35):
was with her for a couple of months till I
was ready, and when I had spoken to her, he
came to my house on the first of August twenty
twenty two, and that was the day that he disappeared
from hers. So he literally left her house, came to
mind and stayed. This is his full time job. But anyway,
(24:58):
so unfortunately our Karma Queen's left the group. There are
only a few of us left. Some of us are
in still like everyday contact, so that would be Linda, Onya,
myself and Rita. The only thing I want to say
about my sister wives as I call them, that I'm
(25:20):
extremely grateful that I met them, and I'm so grateful
that they led me to be part of their story
and they trusted me with their stories. Because if you
think about it, there's a strange woman who sends a
random message. Because that's how I That's how I found
all of them. I would send a random message on
(25:41):
an Instagram, on Instagram or Facebook or wherever I could
find them, and by find them, I was just kind
of typing, I don't know, let's say Linda from Dublin
and I would go just checking, okay, who would be
kind of the same age range, maybe has small kids
(26:02):
or something, and most of them that's how I found. Now.
I was lucky because they were not from Dublin, so
they kind of local, and obviously it's easier to find
someone in a small town. So then there is me.
A stranger sends them a message, you know, asking to
talk about and I would always say listen. I know
it's probably scary, but I want you to know that,
(26:24):
you know, I have a very same story and I
would just like to talk and you know, if you
have any questions. And I was always saying listen, I'm
not in touch with him, so this is safe space.
And in fairness, every single one of them answered. Now,
the truth is that every single time I send that message,
(26:44):
before I got the answer, I was shooting myself. You
know that this might go straight to John, and I
was really really lucky that it didn't. So I actually
want to say thank you to all of them. If
they I'm pretty sure they will listen for letting into
their lives and trusting me with their stories. And I
know that things didn't end the way I wanted, but listen,
(27:09):
the stories out and they gave me the courage. They
gave me the numbers kind of because it's easier when
you have so many stories and you see the scale
of you know, his actions. Going back to the infamous
sofa situation, when I just want to say that when
(27:31):
all the girls in our Carma group found out about
the fact that I will have to pay for the
sofa that was never a gift from John, every single
one of them offered to chippen and helped me pay
the sofa off. Now, I obviously said no, and I
was really grateful, and I was sitting on you know,
(27:54):
in my house, can cry in my ass so emotion
people being so nice to me, and no, I still
do it anyway, But just the fact that every single
one of them offered it meant so much. And I
never said that before. So I just want to just
tell people that we had good ones here and probably
(28:16):
that's why he got with him, because all those women
were looking fantastic.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Monica remembers the first time she heard the name Orla.
She was desperate to find this new woman who had
just come into John's life, to save her from the
same heartbreak and torment that she had been through herself.
But it didn't go quite plan. Despite her best efforts.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
We've heard about Orla from John's daughter. Well, I didn't
hear it personally, but her mom had heard about Orla
that dad's got a new friend, and they met her
somewhere at the car park. I don't remember where a
friend my ass. You know, John doesn't do af friends.
If he says friends, this is another girl friend. We
(29:00):
knew the town, and we knew the first name. John's
dodger says, yeah, she's into arts. That's all straight. On Facebook,
search Orla the town, going through dozens of profiles. I
didn't realize that there are so many Orlas in that town,
such a popular name, and I finally found we looked.
(29:22):
I'm not sure that was me or Linda or one
of us. There was the profile of a lady with
some arty pictures. Definitely definitely the Orala. So texting, I
think Linda said something, I've sent something. Then we went
(29:42):
to Instagram. We sent more text messages, you know, saying
screenshots all possible and no reply at all. But the
problem is, obviously, if you're not friends with someone, or
if someone doesn't follow you on Instagram, it's all kind
of hidden requests or hidden messages until you know you
go to the option. So we kind of gave up
on these ideas, as all, the woman doesn't want to
(30:04):
talk to us obviously, or she never maybe she's not
that active on her messenger, or maybe she's not active
on Instagram whatever this and they all were private anyway.
And then I found out from you about Orla. You
contacted me that there is another lady. After reaching out
to you, I gave you my phone number for her
(30:25):
and she to contact me. Well, we were texting a
completely wrong woman. So I don't know if the other
Orla ever read the messages, but we were lucky that
we didn't get the guys knocking on that with her
online harassment of a poor lady who had message after
(30:51):
message with strange screenshots. Three or four of us either remember,
but we sent a good few of those messages because
we were very persistenced we have to save this woman,
that she has to know or I got in touch
with me and we spoke on the phone for a
long time. When I talked to her, she was I
(31:15):
think John was out of her life from maybe two
or three months then, so she was still very fresh
and this was such like the whole breakup for her.
Was a shock. But then you know, listening to the
podcast and finding out all the rest, like I can
only imagine because I was finding out things gradually, you know,
like kind of oh, there's one woman, there's two women,
(31:36):
there's yeah, still shocking. Then she listens to that podcast
and she says, okay, one, two, three, four or five
and what else? What's going on? So she just needed, like,
like just to talk to someone who went through the
same thing. And that day that Linda and I met
her for a coffee and she said to me she
(31:58):
never really spoken to someone because she was just too embarrassed.
And people don't understand, and in fairness, they don't unless
you're in it, unless you went through this, and unless
you had him in your life working on you for
a long time, you don't get it because people ask questions, oh,
why did you give him money? Oh you know, why
(32:19):
did you do all those things? I didn't give him money.
We were in a relationship. Most of the time. He
was helping himself. I just didn't know. I didn't I
was suspecting, but I never had to proof. Really till
a certain point, or as seemed to be, she seems
to be doing really well actually, and I'm glad that
she got in touch with you and we had a
(32:41):
chance to meet up. We're kind of text each other
or send voice messages on a regular basis, just to
check in.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
After getting her protection order, Monica was ready to go
to court to apply for her safety order, and she
decided to reach out to a women's organization for support,
somewhere she could get help putting together her statement and
make sure that everything was done right. But like so
many other things in this story, it didn't quite go
to plan somehow, and trying to protect herself, she ended
up doing more harm than good, another setback in what
(33:12):
already felt like a long, exhausting fight to be believed.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I decided to go to see women in Women Rescue Center,
I think it's called in Wexford Town, so they would
help me to write my statement for the court. Speaking
to the lady, and I was telling her that about
John Streets, you know that he's threatening me that he's
(33:37):
going to contact TUSLA because I leave my child unattended
and said no, in fairness, I do because I didn't
think it was such a bad thing. Like my child
is very very mature. I know she's only ten now
and she was nine then. But she is a very
very mature girl, and she's independent and she's well able.
(34:00):
So yeah, well I do either. Yeah, I says, oh, well,
I have to report you, is what you mean? You
have to report to me? I swear my big mouth.
I says, well, yeah, because you can't do that, like
I have to contact TUSLA and they have to investigate you,
(34:25):
is it? But but that's not illegal because we had
this all checked, like if you google it says it's
not illegal, it's not advisable. But it all depends on
the case. In mon case, I decided that my child
was safe. I had lots of safety features in the house,
(34:46):
and I'm in contact in contact with her. She can
talk to me whenever. I can check on her on
the cameras. I have a neighbor who that is very safe,
and all the neighbors are in a group chat and
everyone kind of keeps an eye on everyone. At the
(35:07):
state is very very quiet anyway. So I explained to
all of this to that lady from the Women's Rescue
say center, buts no, I still have to report you.
That's it all right? Then? Well, you know I've said
it my own fault. Three hours later, I'm back home
and what do I get. I get a phoca from
(35:28):
TUSLA three hours later, saying that they need to assign
me a social worker and they will investigate the case,
and that I can't do it, and that it's all
bad and it's just illegal. I said, and I keep saying, no,
it's not illegal. This is a very easy information to check.
(35:49):
Just google it. It's not illegal. I know it's not advisable,
but it's in my case. She's fine. This could be
a bit of Eastern European in me, because this is
how we were brought up, you know. I know there
are different times, but personally, I think it's actually easier
now because there was no technology back then. You know,
you had the landline in the house and that's it.
(36:15):
But anyway, I spoke to the lady from TUSLA and
I told you that the most disappointing, disappointing thing for
me about your phone call now is that Rita has
been trying to get help from TUSLA for months, I
mean months, and this wasn't considered as an emergency situation.
(36:40):
We're talking about a father who takes this child to
multiple households, is in relationships with other women, multiple women.
We know for sure that he's under influence of drugs,
If not every time he has there, it's very often
(37:00):
he drives in the car that has no insurance or
no tax or no NCT. And you're telling me at
this situation is more urgent that this other woman who
really needs your help. She's asking for help and she's
not getting ship from you. Poor woman from toslaw was
very apologetic and very understanding, but at the same time says, well, liston,
(37:25):
that's my job. I have to do it. I understand
that you have a different point of view, but I
have to do it. I was just shocked. But it
took her only three hours. This was taken like my
child was in fucking danger, like she was just about
just I know that people were very concerned about the
safety of my child. Tousla did the full investigation. It's
(37:47):
all sorted. My child is, My daughter is safe, she's
well capable. My neighbors are keeping eye on her. I
also changed jobs, so my hours changed and she doesn't
stay at home for that long, which wasn't that long,
by the way, because only on and all the day.
It would have been like four hours, which you would
(38:08):
spend with her tablet, not even moving from the bed.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Monikin knows people have judged her for some of the
choices she made, and she understands why, but she wishes
more people realized how easy it is to get caught
up in something like that. The manipulation happens so slowly
you don't even notice. Looking back, she tries to hold
on to a few good memories, not to excuse him,
but to make peace with what happened.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
After the podcast, we're obviously going through the phase of
reading comments because like it's just addictive. I wasn't really
that concerned about it. I know that there were some
of us who were kind of worrying that the comments
might be not very positive. If I wasn't in the
(38:57):
situation myself, I only probably thinking this is a bit.
They were stupid, That's just that's the only way to
describe it. Like they had to be so stupid to
let themselves to be used by this man the way
he used them. I in fairness, we did a good
(39:17):
few of those comments. Some women were nastier than the others.
Why would you give anyone your money? Why would you
be with this man. If you know he was cheating
on you, why would you do this and why did
you do that? Well, first of all, and I can
speak for myself only, I was in love, okay, for
(39:39):
the first part of this relationship. Then I was fighting
for the friendship because I was the one the kind
of is an unconditional friend, right, so I would forgive everything.
I was fighting for the friendship because I thought that
we had friendshop. I knew that something, this relationship wasn't
going to work, even though we tried and try, that tried.
(40:01):
You know, when you invested in someone so much and
for so long and you see the slightest possibility of
change and you just grab onto it, you know, and
you have that hopes. Okay, maybe this time now, it
was never this time, obviously, but this is how it works.
(40:21):
And it's just I would like people to be more
open minded because obviously, considering the fact that he did
this to so many women, there's no way that we're stupid.
What this means is that he is just so good
at it. He has been doing this for well over
(40:44):
a decade. And I know that because I've been in
touch with women from well over ten years ago. He's
just master at what he does. I mean master the
fact that he can talk to you and and suddenly
turn into tears out of nowhere. Now, he definitely should
(41:08):
his quit day quit the day job if he has
one now, and just go into acting because this is
unbelievable and it looks so real. This is not something
that happens overnight. There are so many new situations and
your expectations, and you had this at the beginning, and
(41:29):
this is what you're hoping to get back at some stage.
Obviously it never happens, but do you know the the truth,
I don't regret any of that. Like obviously you know
there are parts of this two and a half year
long relationship that were very upsetting. You know, I lost
(41:53):
some money. I obviously you know I have some trauma.
But first of all, I decided I would remember the
good times because I had some good times. They might
not be real for him, but they're really for me.
I felt good from time to time quite often. Actually
(42:14):
at the beginning especially, I've learned so much about myself.
I mean so much. I've changed in some aspects, not
for better, because dating wise, I'm looking for a flags
if someone is too nice to me red flag, it's
(42:34):
definitely sometimes they probably know. Sometimes the poor man has
try to be nice. It's not now. And the fact
that I had a chance to meet fabulous women. I
mean every single one of them. The ones that I'm
in touch with are the ones that's not anymore. Every
(42:55):
single one of them are just It was worth just
for that. The fact that we did help some women
like look at Orla, you know. And again, I'm pretty
sure there are some other women, maybe not after being
in a relationship with John, but with some other John
because I'd say there are plenty of them Johns around.
(43:17):
I'm grateful for by three great friends. I tell you,
I haven't partied this match since the university. I am delighted.
My liver is not, but I am delighted. There were
bad parts, but there were good parts, and I decided
to keep them. And yeah, I have no regrets. It's
(43:38):
a lesson.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Thank you for listening to Part seven of Filthy John.
This is the final episode. If you have been affected
by any of the issues mentioned, please know that you're
not alone. Support is available. Reach out to Women's Aid
or the Dublin Rape Crisis Center for help and guidance
You meet a man. He's funny, attentive, he actually listens
to you. You go on a date and you get
home with sore cheeks from laughing. He says all the
right things, wants the same things. It feels easy and rare.
Dates turn into a relationship and you think this is
exactly what you've been looking for. Now imagine discovering everything
(00:22):
he told you was a lie, and you're only one
of many women he has on the go. This is
a story of Filthy John, a compulsive liar, a manipulator,
a man with a serious drug problem, a habit of stealing,
and a dangerous temper. On the surface, he was hilarious, affectionate,
the perfect man. But behind the scenes, he was creating
(00:44):
chaos in multiple women's lives, lying to them, mirroring their personalities,
love bombing, stealing, vanishing, reappearing, and slowly wrecking their sense
of reality. These women didn't just overlap, their lives became
tangled in the most bizarre ways. In this podcast, you'll
(01:05):
hear from five of them, five women brave enough to
sit down and tell their story. There are more, but
some of them are too scared to speak. This is
a story about manipulation, survival, and the power that comes
when women start comparing notes. Monica was with John on
and off for two and a half years, finally ending
(01:28):
things for good on Christmas Day twenty twenty four after
finding proof of multiple other relationships on his phone, Like
Linda and the other women she had been through the
ringer with John, Yes, there were good times and plenty
of laughs, but when things were bad, they were very bad.
In Monica's last episode, we heard how things took a
terrifying turn one night during their friendship stints, when she
(01:50):
asked for her car back, a car she had loaned
him to go on a date with another woman. He
turned up at her home late at night, where both
his daughter and her daughter were a seep upstairs, and
held a wrench over her head. Monica genuinely thought he
was going to kill her and leave her there in
a pool of blood for the girls to find the
next morning. When the podcast was in the works, Monica
(02:11):
feared what might happen once it aired, but until then
she decided to keep things civil, to play it smart
so she could gather evidence of his behavior for when
she would need it.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
After my breakup with John, there was a complete silence,
radio silence. I decided I didn't want them in my life.
And then but he started emailly. I'm guessing it was
about the girls, his daughter and my daughter. For the
playdates the girls we would meet up. He would just
drop his daughter off to my house and then come
(02:45):
back for her a few hours later. And then it
kind of went from that to a random text message
because it was just easier to unblock him because of
the communication of the girls, the playdates. And then we
suddenly started making video calls. When he started making video
calls and working on our friendship. At that stage, I
(03:09):
had already found a good few women from his past,
and I decided to play the master game, which meant
that I was talking to him pretending that I was
considering for giving him or forgetting Rather, he was just
(03:29):
chatting to me like nothing happened, like we're best made,
flirting with me. I was recording on all those conversations
then sharing them with my other sister wives, and we
were having a great crack. There was a time one
evening that Linda was at my house and we were
drinking and John made a video call and Linda was
(03:53):
sitting on the chair beside me. But I was talking
to him. We were both drunk, Linda and I. He
was talking about, you know, his the recent girlfriend, the
pink lady as I call her, and he would be
telling me because he didn't know the Linda was there.
You know that he was unhappy that he made such
a big mistake. She's too big for him as size wise. Now,
(04:19):
I'm very straightforward anyway, but when I'm drunk, that's just
a now filter whatsoever. I said, Listen, mate, let me
stop you there. Let me just remind you, Linda, it's
scarvy him. It's scary, isn't This lady was scarvy? And
if I remember well, I was the one who was
always too skinny for you. You would always tell me
(04:41):
your exercise too much, you walk too much, you need
to you need to eat more, you know, So do
not tell me that she's she's too carevy for you,
because this seemed to be your type. He said, Oh, well,
actually it's not even that. It's just she's too small
as a john. Will you fuck awful? You just stop
making this ship up, you know. Just oh and you know,
(05:02):
but I tell you she's no sense of humor, so wow,
if you think it would be feeling sorry for you.
That's your that's your Carara. Now, I asked him, so,
what was it that you were attracted to? Oh, she's
kind so well, good for you, Good for you. It
(05:23):
sounds like a perfect relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
In the days before this podcast, dared Rita, the mother
of John's daughter, reached out to his current girlfriend, the
Pink Lady, as Monica called her. She asked politely for
a coffee and a chat for the Pink Lady to
hear everything from her perspective, and she was told, in
no uncertain terms, to fuck off.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
This was going on for months now months, I mean
him ringing me and telling me about his life, and
we were having jokes and after I finished recording, send
to other ladies and will have a great crack and
then we compare the notes. Because there was a stage
that he was chatting to Linda, to Anya and myself
about the same things but with a different spin depending
(06:06):
on the converse of the person the same screenshots. Let's say, oh,
he's so something on Telly, so he sent me to me.
He sent to Linda's in the tunia with signing different commentary,
you know, was just more personalized for each one of us.
That was going on for months until he sent me
a photograph of the pizza box. Right. I was in
(06:30):
the middle of the group chat with the other ladies.
I took a screenshot of the pizza box and I
send it to the other group, and then they asked
me about something. So I went back to his messages.
I checked whatever I needed, and then I recorded a
voice message said, ladies, does anyone recognize this class table? Also, Linda,
(06:58):
I think he likes the shoes that you got in
for Christmas. Sent Maybe twenty seconds later, I get a
text message from John, I hope you're having fun. By
the way, Linda didn't buy me those shoes. Oh my god,
(07:19):
I thought I was going to die. I was starting
with that phone. I didn't know I was laughing. This
is like a nervous laughter, passing myself laughing for my
own stupidity. I said, how I knew that this would
happen at some stage, but that's just such a stupid mistake.
So then I text the other girls, and obviously there
was no one around, no where will help me? I
(07:40):
rang Linda. Linda on the way back from work, answering
her car. Zero help she was. She found it so funny.
She was just sitting in the car just laughing aloud.
No help whatsoever, zero support. So that's how John found
out that I was. That's when we ended the our chats.
(08:02):
My question to the girls was, has anyone recognized the
glass table, because we presumed that it was someone taken
someone else's house, and who was just, oh, we can
go back to our investigation. Maybe there's another woman in
the picture, you know. So the next thing, I get
a catalog I mean, and maybe twelve photographs taken on
(08:24):
the table with a glass top that some of most
of them were photographs of cocktail sausages because that's what
he eats most of the time. So I've got another,
like a full folder of cocktail sausages on a different
plates on the glass table. He was just so angry.
I mean, so Linda didn't buy me those shoes, And
in finest Linda looked at the photographs on it says, no,
(08:46):
he's right, they wearing the shoes. I bought the from anywhere.
It was, well, his dad's stable, because he doesn't have
a fucking table, does he. He doesn't have anything, But yeah,
it was it was his Dad's was just the fact
that he got so annoyed that he went through his
phone and found every single picture of them. This was
probably a couple of weeks before the podcast, because we
(09:09):
decided to let him know about the podcast after I
think the last episode. Yeah, we were waiting for Onya's episode,
and then we started. Okay, we were drinking the four
of us at Onyon's house and it wasn't a drunken decision.
Now it's helped, but we decided it was time. And also,
as I said, I was getting quite emotionally tired of
(09:34):
playing this game. Now. It was a masterful game. And
one of the reasons I was staying in touch with
him because this was this was giving us information and
I would always be two steps ahead. We were always
kind of worrying, you know, if he knows something. So
if he was in touch with me almost every night,
I knew that he's clueless. So we send him the
(09:57):
way that I played him, you know, and he thought
that we he was getting my friendship back, while I was,
you know, I was just being a bitch, like a
ruthless I didn't know that I had it in me.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Although Monica had told John the Garda were keeping an
eye on her, driving by the house every so often.
It turned out, unbeknownst to her, that they actually weren't
looking back. At her experience with them, she feels completely
let down by the Garden. If John had followed through
on any of his threats, she may not be here today.
It was only by the grace of God that he
didn't act on them.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
After we recorded the podcast, I was encouraged by other
girls or other women in our group to go to
the guard and let them know that things were happening,
or they might be happening and they might experience some
threats from John. I went to the garden station. I
(10:51):
met a young guard for some reason. All the guards
where I live anyway, and they're like straight from school.
He listened to my story like he was watching Netflix
episode of a true crime. He was just astonished a
great crack, and in fairness, I was laughing with him
because they are parts of the story, the story that
(11:12):
they are actually very funny. He put my name on
the system because my request to him I was listen,
I don't know if something is going to happen, but
if it does, I want someone to know that if
I ring in the middle of the night. This is
not just a random phone call. I don't want to
be waiting for the guards for four hours. I wanted
to be here within a few minutes if possible, because
(11:34):
it might be urgent. So those grants. He put my
name in the system, he checked his profile on their
system as well, and and those grand So I felt
kind of safe because that first step was made, and
then we recorded a podcast. Then when it went out,
(11:55):
I decided to kind of follow up with the guards.
So I made a phone called the guards in the evening,
probably nine o'clock in the evening, and again with the
encouragement of other women, saying, listen, you know this is
out now, like you're really need to take steps because
I'm very I was very aware, right if he gets
(12:15):
if he finds out, you know, I will be focus
of his anger, rightly, So so I said, okay. So
I rang the guards, the guard the station, a local
guard station here. I spoke to a very nice guard
again too call my details. He took my address, my
phone number, and he is listed. The only thing I
(12:36):
can do at the moment is just for you to
feel safe. I'll just send the you know, the squad
card kind of to to run around the Uther state
at night, says the grant. I was delighted with it.
So next day I went to the guards, to the
guarden station anyway, because he actually did suggest that listen,
it's probably better if you go and talk to them personally.
(13:00):
I went there and I found out that there was
no record of me calling the guard the guard the
station nowhere. I actually had to show them my phone
with the call log seven minutes long conversation at nine
o'clock in the evening with the guarda station. They kept
asking me about the name of the guard and I said, listen,
(13:21):
I just don't remember, Like this is a stressful situation,
I you know. But obviously nowhere there was no information
in the book, there was no information in the system.
My phone call did not exist, which also meant that
probably did never send the guards drive around my estate,
because how could they. Things are not going to go
(13:41):
as well as I was hoping. Sorry, that's actually after
I received the first threats via text messages. So there
is me at the guard the station in the little
waiting room. The guards are behind the glass window kind of,
and there's me on the other side with four other
people behind me, and there's a young guardy a girl
(14:04):
talking to me and asking about the details of my visit,
and so I explained it kind of generally as there
are people behind me and this is quite personal, but
they wanted me to give them full details. So don't
you want to talk to us? I said, well, I do,
but I would prefer to do it in the separate room,
so there are no people behind me listening to the conversation.
(14:26):
So that took a moment. But if finally decided okay,
shall will take it to the room. I told them
my story again Netflix, this has to go to Netflix.
That's all right. I read her the messages from John.
That girl didn't really know what to do with me.
So then she called over another officer who was kind
(14:48):
of higher rank, and again there is me explained the
same story, telling him reading him the messages, which I
thought that they were quite intimidately, and he says to me,
have do you have anything kind of more threatening? They
(15:09):
don't really sound that intimidating to me. I said, well,
well I probably have, because I actually did. I have
to go back somewhere. But they were the most recent ones,
I said, But what do you mean they don't sound intimidating.
I said, he's not stupid. He's not going to send
me a text message saying I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to slash your throat. I'm going to do
all that he's telling me. By the way he's speaking
(15:32):
to me, I know he's intimidating me because I know
him well. I recognize the tone of the messages. So
he says, well, yes, but you know it's very personal.
What might sound intimidating to you doesn't really sound intimidating
to me, so we would need something stronger. So that
was very disappointing. And I got really annoyed with him,
(15:56):
and he says, are you happy with that? I said, no,
I'm not happy with this. I said, let's just pray
that when he comes to my house in the middle
of the night trying to kill me, that I will
manage to get a proved that is convincing enough to
you to actually do something about it. You know, it's
just ridiculous, like, how am I supposed to feel safe
if the guard thinks that I'm making shit up. I
(16:18):
went home, found the messages. I got a phone number
to the young guard, the lady guard. I sent her
the messages that they were more threatening. And then the
phone calls started. John started calling me on private number
because he's blocked everywhere, so that's the only option. And
I wasn't going to answer any of those, but he
(16:40):
kept ringing and ringing, and I was getting really really
stressed out because all of this was bringing the old trauma,
you know, Like I do think that I suffered from
slight PTSD from all this experience with him, especially the
one with the wrench. So every single time, maybe not
as much now, but there was a peer. Every single
time my phone rang on a private number, I knew
(17:03):
that was him because he's the only person who does it.
Like I would physically start shaking. I decided, oh, hold on,
because I knew why he was ringing. You know, this
wasn't going to be a pleasant chit chat, you know,
and a cat chat. Okay, I said, I answer. I
just set up the screen recording on my phone, and
there he was right left and center, threatening, apologizing, threatening again,
(17:28):
and telling me that he was going to come after me,
come after Linda, and come after Anya.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And The following are reconstructions of parts of conversations that
Monica recorded once that I have personally heard, but panticlude
here for legal reasons.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Well, if you think this is a game, I don't care.
I don't care about Lucas or the guards. I will
find you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You think I was bad Saint Patrick's Day? I will
find you. Do you think I'm just gonna let this go?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That? I know you won't let it go. Hence I
went to the guards. Hence am I getting a safety order?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
You're not gonna get it in time. I am five
minutes from your house. I have no idea how angry I.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Went it from my house, John, because I'd got to
the guards on call and they know that then to
be here within minutes when I call them. So don't
you dare come into my house.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Do you want to have the child in your life?
You should care.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
If I don't get to see the child on Thursday,
I guess I'll be seeing you. You should call your
guard friends. Okay, okay, okay, see you later. You think
(19:03):
you think to take care? Now? Did you send it
to my family?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
All right? Well I didn't send it to your family.
It was that's that's all I can.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Tell you, Yeah, your podcast was a mistake. I can
wait for protection. When it caused a year or two,
I can weait and I will go to jail. I
will go to jail happily.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
This is what he said. And if you think that
the Patty's Day was bad, Patty's Day was the time
that he attacked me with a wrench. So the second
he said that, I knew that I just had it.
You know this, this is a threat. It can't get
I can't get any better than that. But anyway, I
(19:49):
think he rang me that night four times, and I
was recording those and sending all those recordings to Linda
Anya and let's her call her Rita, his daughter's mom,
So they were oh listening while I was talking to him.
All of them was a combination of him apologizing, trying
(20:12):
to make commends, and then getting angry and threatening me again.
And then he was kind of fringing me again, feeling
bad and apologizing because obviously he realized, oh, this is
not the approach I should be taking. So I'll apologize.
Everything sent to that guard's phone number, and guess what,
(20:32):
I have heard nothing from them till this day. I
called the guards. A few times I was speaking to
that lady. She was getting annoyed with me. I could
hear it in her voice that she was getting annoyed
with me for keep asking the same questions. Has anyone
listened to the recording? So then he's once in the messages.
(20:55):
There was a especially assigned guard to my case who
was either on holidays, or he was upset at work,
or he was on something, and he never contacted. He
was the one who was supposed to get in touch
never did so. The only reason I feel safe is
because we got our safety orders and protection orders. Now. Fortunately,
(21:18):
John is really a coward, so he wouldn't do it.
He talks a lot, and I know from my own
experience that he can get dangerous, but most of the
time it's just big mouth. That's all there is. It's
just you know, big bravado. You know, I'm this scary
man who can I can hack your phones and I
(21:38):
can hack your devices. No, he cannot. The real reason
he was able to gather all the data, all the
information from our phones or laptops or whatever, is because
he had access to those when we were asleep, and
he doesn't because obviously he likes speed. That's what he does.
(22:00):
He just helps himself. And he's very perceptive too, So
he knew my past pass code. You know, the thing
that you put with your finger to open your phone.
He knew that, and I never showed it to him.
But then again, I wasn't never. I was never hiding it.
You know, we were a couple, we were friends. If
(22:20):
not a couple, we were friends, but he was always
around and with every single one of us it was
the same case because you know, he was awake all
night long while we were all asleep. Easy peasy in
my case, but I don't know what. Like I'm writing
a book now and when I go through all the messages,
I can see it so clearly now, step by step,
(22:45):
how this happened. But when you're in it, this is
not you know, things don't happen overnight. It's just it's
like time, little steps. Every day there's you know, he
takes away more of your soul and more of your brain,
and he just things happen so quickly, and there are
so many things happening that like for me anyway, I
(23:08):
don't think my brain was fast enough to follow up
with this. So it was just kind of one lie
today follow up with another lie, and the other lie
seemed to be more important. So then I was forgetting
about the first one. And then he gave me some
sort of explanation. Okay, maybe maybe, yeah, it sounds reasonable.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I'm making this shit up.
(23:30):
You know, it's just you're going crazy. Well, we all
went through the same thing, and obviously some of them
had worse experiences than the other. It also depended on
the length of the relationship. Some ladies. Ladies were with
for a few months and most of that would have
(23:52):
been kind of phone calls and text messaging and maybe
a couple of visits. Some of them were a few
years longer relationships. In a relationship a couple of times
they had broken up, and then years years later he
came back to their lives for a short period of time.
I'm guessing this was the time that, you know, between
(24:13):
the girlfriends, that he had someone lined up, but he
wasn't ready, like I know in my case, he finished
his relationship with Teresa. He obviously was working on me,
but I wasn't ready. So he then got back with
another of his women from years and years ago. He
(24:35):
was with her for a couple of months till I
was ready, and when I had spoken to her, he
came to my house on the first of August twenty
twenty two, and that was the day that he disappeared
from hers. So he literally left her house, came to
mind and stayed. This is his full time job. But anyway,
(24:58):
so unfortunately our Karma Queen's left the group. There are
only a few of us left. Some of us are
in still like everyday contact, so that would be Linda, Onya,
myself and Rita. The only thing I want to say
about my sister wives as I call them, that I'm
(25:20):
extremely grateful that I met them, and I'm so grateful
that they led me to be part of their story
and they trusted me with their stories. Because if you
think about it, there's a strange woman who sends a
random message. Because that's how I That's how I found
all of them. I would send a random message on
(25:41):
an Instagram, on Instagram or Facebook or wherever I could
find them, and by find them, I was just kind
of typing, I don't know, let's say Linda from Dublin
and I would go just checking, okay, who would be
kind of the same age range, maybe has small kids
(26:02):
or something, and most of them that's how I found. Now.
I was lucky because they were not from Dublin, so
they kind of local, and obviously it's easier to find
someone in a small town. So then there is me.
A stranger sends them a message, you know, asking to
talk about and I would always say listen. I know
it's probably scary, but I want you to know that,
(26:24):
you know, I have a very same story and I
would just like to talk and you know, if you
have any questions. And I was always saying listen, I'm
not in touch with him, so this is safe space.
And in fairness, every single one of them answered. Now,
the truth is that every single time I send that message,
(26:44):
before I got the answer, I was shooting myself. You
know that this might go straight to John, and I
was really really lucky that it didn't. So I actually
want to say thank you to all of them. If
they I'm pretty sure they will listen for letting into
their lives and trusting me with their stories. And I
know that things didn't end the way I wanted, but listen,
(27:09):
the stories out and they gave me the courage. They
gave me the numbers kind of because it's easier when
you have so many stories and you see the scale
of you know, his actions. Going back to the infamous
sofa situation, when I just want to say that when
(27:31):
all the girls in our Carma group found out about
the fact that I will have to pay for the
sofa that was never a gift from John, every single
one of them offered to chippen and helped me pay
the sofa off. Now, I obviously said no, and I
was really grateful, and I was sitting on you know,
(27:54):
in my house, can cry in my ass so emotion
people being so nice to me, and no, I still
do it anyway, But just the fact that every single
one of them offered it meant so much. And I
never said that before. So I just want to just
tell people that we had good ones here and probably
(28:16):
that's why he got with him, because all those women
were looking fantastic.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Monica remembers the first time she heard the name Orla.
She was desperate to find this new woman who had
just come into John's life, to save her from the
same heartbreak and torment that she had been through herself.
But it didn't go quite plan. Despite her best efforts.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
We've heard about Orla from John's daughter. Well, I didn't
hear it personally, but her mom had heard about Orla
that dad's got a new friend, and they met her
somewhere at the car park. I don't remember where a
friend my ass. You know, John doesn't do af friends.
If he says friends, this is another girl friend. We
(29:00):
knew the town, and we knew the first name. John's
dodger says, yeah, she's into arts. That's all straight. On Facebook,
search Orla the town, going through dozens of profiles. I
didn't realize that there are so many Orlas in that town,
such a popular name, and I finally found we looked.
(29:22):
I'm not sure that was me or Linda or one
of us. There was the profile of a lady with
some arty pictures. Definitely definitely the Orala. So texting, I
think Linda said something, I've sent something. Then we went
(29:42):
to Instagram. We sent more text messages, you know, saying
screenshots all possible and no reply at all. But the
problem is, obviously, if you're not friends with someone, or
if someone doesn't follow you on Instagram, it's all kind
of hidden requests or hidden messages until you know you
go to the option. So we kind of gave up
on these ideas, as all, the woman doesn't want to
(30:04):
talk to us obviously, or she never maybe she's not
that active on her messenger, or maybe she's not active
on Instagram whatever this and they all were private anyway.
And then I found out from you about Orla. You
contacted me that there is another lady. After reaching out
to you, I gave you my phone number for her
(30:25):
and she to contact me. Well, we were texting a
completely wrong woman. So I don't know if the other
Orla ever read the messages, but we were lucky that
we didn't get the guys knocking on that with her
online harassment of a poor lady who had message after
(30:51):
message with strange screenshots. Three or four of us either remember,
but we sent a good few of those messages because
we were very persistenced we have to save this woman,
that she has to know or I got in touch
with me and we spoke on the phone for a
long time. When I talked to her, she was I
(31:15):
think John was out of her life from maybe two
or three months then, so she was still very fresh
and this was such like the whole breakup for her.
Was a shock. But then you know, listening to the
podcast and finding out all the rest, like I can
only imagine because I was finding out things gradually, you know,
like kind of oh, there's one woman, there's two women,
(31:36):
there's yeah, still shocking. Then she listens to that podcast
and she says, okay, one, two, three, four or five
and what else? What's going on? So she just needed, like,
like just to talk to someone who went through the
same thing. And that day that Linda and I met
her for a coffee and she said to me she
(31:58):
never really spoken to someone because she was just too embarrassed.
And people don't understand, and in fairness, they don't unless
you're in it, unless you went through this, and unless
you had him in your life working on you for
a long time, you don't get it because people ask questions, oh,
why did you give him money? Oh you know, why
(32:19):
did you do all those things? I didn't give him money.
We were in a relationship. Most of the time. He
was helping himself. I just didn't know. I didn't I
was suspecting, but I never had to proof. Really till
a certain point, or as seemed to be, she seems
to be doing really well actually, and I'm glad that
she got in touch with you and we had a
(32:41):
chance to meet up. We're kind of text each other
or send voice messages on a regular basis, just to
check in.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
After getting her protection order, Monica was ready to go
to court to apply for her safety order, and she
decided to reach out to a women's organization for support,
somewhere she could get help putting together her statement and
make sure that everything was done right. But like so
many other things in this story, it didn't quite go
to plan somehow, and trying to protect herself, she ended
up doing more harm than good, another setback in what
(33:12):
already felt like a long, exhausting fight to be believed.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I decided to go to see women in Women Rescue Center,
I think it's called in Wexford Town, so they would
help me to write my statement for the court. Speaking
to the lady, and I was telling her that about
John Streets, you know that he's threatening me that he's
(33:37):
going to contact TUSLA because I leave my child unattended
and said no, in fairness, I do because I didn't
think it was such a bad thing. Like my child
is very very mature. I know she's only ten now
and she was nine then. But she is a very
very mature girl, and she's independent and she's well able.
(34:00):
So yeah, well I do either. Yeah, I says, oh, well,
I have to report you, is what you mean? You
have to report to me? I swear my big mouth.
I says, well, yeah, because you can't do that, like
I have to contact TUSLA and they have to investigate you,
(34:25):
is it? But but that's not illegal because we had
this all checked, like if you google it says it's
not illegal, it's not advisable. But it all depends on
the case. In mon case, I decided that my child
was safe. I had lots of safety features in the house,
(34:46):
and I'm in contact in contact with her. She can
talk to me whenever. I can check on her on
the cameras. I have a neighbor who that is very safe,
and all the neighbors are in a group chat and
everyone kind of keeps an eye on everyone. At the
(35:07):
state is very very quiet anyway. So I explained to
all of this to that lady from the Women's Rescue
say center, buts no, I still have to report you.
That's it all right? Then? Well, you know I've said
it my own fault. Three hours later, I'm back home
and what do I get. I get a phoca from
(35:28):
TUSLA three hours later, saying that they need to assign
me a social worker and they will investigate the case,
and that I can't do it, and that it's all
bad and it's just illegal. I said, and I keep saying, no,
it's not illegal. This is a very easy information to check.
(35:49):
Just google it. It's not illegal. I know it's not advisable,
but it's in my case. She's fine. This could be
a bit of Eastern European in me, because this is
how we were brought up, you know. I know there
are different times, but personally, I think it's actually easier
now because there was no technology back then. You know,
you had the landline in the house and that's it.
(36:15):
But anyway, I spoke to the lady from TUSLA and
I told you that the most disappointing, disappointing thing for
me about your phone call now is that Rita has
been trying to get help from TUSLA for months, I
mean months, and this wasn't considered as an emergency situation.
(36:40):
We're talking about a father who takes this child to
multiple households, is in relationships with other women, multiple women.
We know for sure that he's under influence of drugs,
If not every time he has there, it's very often
(37:00):
he drives in the car that has no insurance or
no tax or no NCT. And you're telling me at
this situation is more urgent that this other woman who
really needs your help. She's asking for help and she's
not getting ship from you. Poor woman from toslaw was
very apologetic and very understanding, but at the same time says, well, liston,
(37:25):
that's my job. I have to do it. I understand
that you have a different point of view, but I
have to do it. I was just shocked. But it
took her only three hours. This was taken like my
child was in fucking danger, like she was just about
just I know that people were very concerned about the
safety of my child. Tousla did the full investigation. It's
(37:47):
all sorted. My child is, My daughter is safe, she's
well capable. My neighbors are keeping eye on her. I
also changed jobs, so my hours changed and she doesn't
stay at home for that long, which wasn't that long,
by the way, because only on and all the day.
It would have been like four hours, which you would
(38:08):
spend with her tablet, not even moving from the bed.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Monikin knows people have judged her for some of the
choices she made, and she understands why, but she wishes
more people realized how easy it is to get caught
up in something like that. The manipulation happens so slowly
you don't even notice. Looking back, she tries to hold
on to a few good memories, not to excuse him,
but to make peace with what happened.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
After the podcast, we're obviously going through the phase of
reading comments because like it's just addictive. I wasn't really
that concerned about it. I know that there were some
of us who were kind of worrying that the comments
might be not very positive. If I wasn't in the
(38:57):
situation myself, I only probably thinking this is a bit.
They were stupid, That's just that's the only way to
describe it. Like they had to be so stupid to
let themselves to be used by this man the way
he used them. I in fairness, we did a good
(39:17):
few of those comments. Some women were nastier than the others.
Why would you give anyone your money? Why would you
be with this man. If you know he was cheating
on you, why would you do this and why did
you do that? Well, first of all, and I can
speak for myself only, I was in love, okay, for
(39:39):
the first part of this relationship. Then I was fighting
for the friendship because I was the one the kind
of is an unconditional friend, right, so I would forgive everything.
I was fighting for the friendship because I thought that
we had friendshop. I knew that something, this relationship wasn't
going to work, even though we tried and try, that tried.
(40:01):
You know, when you invested in someone so much and
for so long and you see the slightest possibility of
change and you just grab onto it, you know, and
you have that hopes. Okay, maybe this time now, it
was never this time, obviously, but this is how it works.
(40:21):
And it's just I would like people to be more
open minded because obviously, considering the fact that he did
this to so many women, there's no way that we're stupid.
What this means is that he is just so good
at it. He has been doing this for well over
(40:44):
a decade. And I know that because I've been in
touch with women from well over ten years ago. He's
just master at what he does. I mean master the
fact that he can talk to you and and suddenly
turn into tears out of nowhere. Now, he definitely should
(41:08):
his quit day quit the day job if he has
one now, and just go into acting because this is
unbelievable and it looks so real. This is not something
that happens overnight. There are so many new situations and
your expectations, and you had this at the beginning, and
(41:29):
this is what you're hoping to get back at some stage.
Obviously it never happens, but do you know the the truth,
I don't regret any of that. Like obviously you know
there are parts of this two and a half year
long relationship that were very upsetting. You know, I lost
(41:53):
some money. I obviously you know I have some trauma.
But first of all, I decided I would remember the
good times because I had some good times. They might
not be real for him, but they're really for me.
I felt good from time to time quite often. Actually
(42:14):
at the beginning especially, I've learned so much about myself.
I mean so much. I've changed in some aspects, not
for better, because dating wise, I'm looking for a flags
if someone is too nice to me red flag, it's
(42:34):
definitely sometimes they probably know. Sometimes the poor man has
try to be nice. It's not now. And the fact
that I had a chance to meet fabulous women. I
mean every single one of them. The ones that I'm
in touch with are the ones that's not anymore. Every
(42:55):
single one of them are just It was worth just
for that. The fact that we did help some women
like look at Orla, you know. And again, I'm pretty
sure there are some other women, maybe not after being
in a relationship with John, but with some other John
because I'd say there are plenty of them Johns around.
(43:17):
I'm grateful for by three great friends. I tell you,
I haven't partied this match since the university. I am delighted.
My liver is not, but I am delighted. There were
bad parts, but there were good parts, and I decided
to keep them. And yeah, I have no regrets. It's
(43:38):
a lesson.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Thank you for listening to Part seven of Filthy John.
This is the final episode. If you have been affected
by any of the issues mentioned, please know that you're
not alone. Support is available. Reach out to Women's Aid
or the Dublin Rape Crisis Center for help and guidance
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