September 23, 2025 • 35 mins
This week it's Katelyn Divilly from The Traitors Ireland.. she was the second traitor booted (apols for any potential spoiler there but get with the times). We have a good chat about the madness inside the castle, the whole “we can control her” weirdness, and then of course her own dating life. Katelyn’s happily single, hates dating apps, and knows all about the pressure people put on you to settle down and start popping out kids. She also tells me about the holiday romance that went to shit. Her take on dating is one we could all do with adopting.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
This week I am joined by Caitlin Divili from The
Traders Ireland. She was the second Trader to be booted
out of the show, so sorry if you haven't watched
it and if that's a spoiler for you. We chat
about whether there was any love going on behind the
scenes and her run ins with the lads on the show,
including that we can control her moment with the two lads,
and then of course her own love life outside of
(00:32):
the Castle and what it's been like for her since
she got out. Caitlin has such a refreshing, positive, chill
attitude dating and honestly, I say that we could all
take a leaf out of her book enjoy. How are
you getting on now since it all finished, I'd say
it's absolutely mad, I'll go.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Honestly, it's bonkers. It's nearly busier when you're out of
the castle because you have journalist podcasts like people reaching
out to you. So I did not anticipate that it
would be the week after drivers out that would be
the busiest. So yeah, I've been booked and busy.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So as soon as people are kicked out or whatever
happens to them, voted out or whatever, like straight away
they're allowed to go and kind of get involved with
this kind of stuff with us, but just obviously being
careful about behind the scenes stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah. Absolutely, So there's obviously certain things that we can't
talk about, which is totally fair. You don't want to
ruin the magic of the show itself. But yeah, they
set you up to talk to some journalists around table
so that you know, you're kind of killing a couple
of birds with one stone. And then yeah, just like
really fun podcasts like this. I've been on a couple
of other podcasts as well. They've been a lot of fun,
(01:38):
just a lot more conversational than some of the journalists stuff.
And yeah, I'm going to the Plowing Championships tomorrow, which
I didn't have one my bingo carn for this year.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
When I put that up, actually that I had you
coming up, but everybody was loving it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Oh I'm delighted, you know what. Like I knew when
I went into the castle, I was like, this is
either going to be an absolute hatchet job or they're
actually going to really invest in it. And I knew
when we got there. I was like, I have a
good feeling about this. This is going to be special.
But I did not anticipate how it has turned out.
Like the viewing numbers, they'd almost have the available audience
(02:14):
the week that it aired, which is pretty much unheard of.
It was similar to the Olympics viewing, which was just bonkers,
one point two million or something. It was just crazy.
If you think about like one in every five people
was watching it, it's just.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Nuts and Kamrina. Is there any loving going on behind
the scenes? Is there is there any little people shacking
up slightly?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Do you know what? Actually most of the people in
there are in relationships. There's a couple of us that
were threatening that we would love to do a Traitor's
First State special, So I think, I hope I don't
forget anyone now but Mark, Christine, Niall, Kelly, Linda. I'm
so sorry. Guys. If any of your listening I've forgotten you.
(03:01):
If you're single, you're also coming on for his States
with us?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Oh my god, you should. That would be gass. I
would love that. But like you know that the UK one,
there was I think there was a lot going on
in the background of the UK one, and then there
was that. I suppose you watched all the UK wants
to get before you went on. There was that girl.
I can't remember what her name was, but she was
shaving her legs in that episode, and she ended up
getting pregnant with Connor Maynard. Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Well, actually turned out it wasn't his kid.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Oh yeah, I saw that test revealed he was not
like that, that poor bastard, like he was like he
asked for the DNA test I think originally then people
all the fans started using them because they're like, how
dare you? And then it turned out wasn't to his child. Yeah,
like I.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Mean to ask for a DNA test and to get
the backlash, I mean, Jesus, that's that's rough, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And then she had came out obviously she was just
mad for the attention, but she came out and said
that that that ma friend that she had made Connor
may and was his brother in law whatever your man's
name was, with black hair. And then he had cut
her off and didn't want to be friends with her anymore.
And I was like, obviously, hun, why what do you
want to you have to fucus with spoof and about
having a baby with the poor bastard.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I know, I know it was I do remember that
kind of. I actually think that they slept together at
like the rap party or something. So yeah, it was
so traders related, traders adjacent even, Well, why.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You're telling me anyway is that there's no loving going
on with you and any of the other content.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And you know what, It's funny because like obviously the
you know, to get on the show, there's a very
rigorous process. And I remember in one of the interviews
that I had to do, like they were like, what
would you do now if like you went in and
you fancied someone? And I was like, first of all,
like I'm not going to do that. That's not going
to happen. And they were like, how do you know?
And I was like, because I'm going to be so
stressed that there is no way that I'm going to
(04:53):
have any capacity to be eyeing up the young lad
across the table, Like it's just wouldn't be possible.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
How long have you been single for?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
How long have I been single for? Oh my god,
that's a good question. Two and a half years. I
think I'm just trying to trace it back. It's either
two and a half or three and a half years.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Good lords, Well, you're obviously not counting not a bother
to you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, I'm actually very happy single person, I would say,
And I do get a lot of people being like
because I'm thirty two, and I often get a lot
of people. I don't think that there's no intention of judgment,
but I think just because of our own biases from society,
we assume that a woman in her thirties should be
in a relationship because surely she wants to have babies.
(05:35):
So people are often like, oh, would you not want
to meet someone? Or how do you feel about being single?
And I'm like, I'm actually very happy to be single,
or I really if I was with someone, it would
be a nice addition, do you know what I mean?
Like it would it would add another embellishment to my life.
But my life is very fulfilled without being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So but that's the way that everybody should be. You know,
when I see people girls who kind of center their
lives around finding fellas, like and then obviously they're putting
all of their hope into it, and then they're so
disappointed after every date or every conversation on Tinder that
goes out or whatever, and so like, if you you know,
fill up your life with other things that make you
(06:16):
happy and fulfilled. You know that that's the perfect way
to have it. That a fella is just a nice addition.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, And I like the one thing I will say
is I don't want kids, so like I don't have
that additional pressure. So, like, I can understand that I
have a lot of friends who, thankfully most of them
are in relationships now, but like in the last couple
of years have maybe not been in a relationship, and
they're very conscious of their biological clock and the fact
that they want to have kids soon. And you don't
(06:43):
want to be having a baby with any old dickie dido,
Like you kind of want to be with them for
a few years and make sure that they're going to
be a good father and a family man. So I
do understand the pressure from that perspective, but it's just
not something that I want in my life. So I
don't have to contend with her.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
And you were given the apps to go at one
stage area, But that's that's the thing of the past,
is it.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, I am allergic to dating apps, and like I
have been on them over the years, you know what
I mean, in between being in relationships, So like I
definitely would have been an early adopter of like Tinder
and some of the other dating apps as well, and
I just I just feel like they're fundamentally broken at
(07:24):
the moment. And I don't know if you've had other
people on that would agree with that, but it's like
people just don't know how to date anymore. And I
don't know, is it the dating apps or is it
because there's so much polarization between men and women and
we all have these different expectations because the algorithm is
just pushing us further apart. But I do believe that
(07:45):
the dating apps are broken. They do not work as
intended anymore. And I think you can even see that
in from what I understand, like the shares are really
dropping in dating apps, and like they're kind of in
panic mode trying to fix it, I guess, to get
people back on them.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
But people, So are you saying that when you do
go on dates, or if you are even going on dates,
do you find people in real life? Here?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The last person that I was dating was actually someone
I knew and I bumped into and we just started
talking on Instagram and we went on a couple of dates,
really really, really nice guy. I have to say, I
come to a bad word to say about him. And
I was very hopeful because I was like, oh, I've
met this person out in the wild. It's very organic actually,
but just didn't work out. It wasn't what I was
(08:29):
looking for romantically. And I think he was probably the same,
but someone that I would probably still talk to here
and there, like we're quite friendly, Like we didn't fall
out with a very civil conversation about it. I have
been on dates from dating apps, like I think the
last time I was on a dating app was last
Christmas maybe, and I think after that experience, I was like,
(08:51):
this is just not for me. I need to meet
with someone and vibe with them or like you know,
get a background check from someone who knows them I
and can give the end coach review. I just there's
so much pressure on it when you meet someone you
don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
There's just I think people have just a general lack
of respect for people on dating apps. I'd even come
across girls on the date an Orange page who would say, like,
you know, they don't respond to a lot of the
men who write to them, and I was like, but
you matched with them though, and They're like, well, I
don't owe them anything. I don't even know them. It's
a dating app. And I was like a bit respect well,
(09:28):
no one, do you know you've matched with them? He's
put himself out there being like, how are you? That
looks like a nice picture of you and those mountains?
You know, whatever the fuck? And then you're like, nah,
you know, and women give out all the time about
you know how disappointing it is to constantly It's like
compounded with disappointment after disappointment, and now and now they
have no hope of ever finding anyone. Think about the
(09:50):
fellows who are constantly sending message to women who are
just not replying, and people if they just acted a
little better on the apps, life would be great.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I complete. I have to say. When I was on
the apps, and maybe not in the past, but certainly
in the last couple of years, I would always make
an effort to write to someone like I would have
no issue now writing to someone first. I'm very direct,
I'm a fairly confident person, so I would have no
issue writing to a fella first. But I agree, I know,
like a lot of people are just matching with all
(10:21):
these people and then not responding to them. And I
think I've heard people talk about it on a couple
of podcasts that like it really is the top Like
I'm just pulling this percentage out of my head, but
like maybe the top ten percent are getting all the
messages right from women and then it's the rest of
them are kind of being left out and feel that
there's no one there for them to match it or
(10:42):
to talk to, which it is sad, Like I know.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I do wonder is that true the top ten percent
of men are getting all the messages? But like, but
I look at all these shite bags who are flat
out getting women and they're nothing to look at, and
they treat women like shite and you know they have
you see it on are we doing the same guy?
And they'd have some absolutely mental bio that's extremely negative
and women are still being like anything about this man,
(11:06):
you know, and the women are like, have you read
his bio there? He's obviously not a nice person. I
just feel like there's always men always get somebody. So
I just don't I don't know if I believe with that,
like that top ten percent thing.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, I honestly I don't know either. I agree on
the like there's certain bios that I would have just avoided.
I'd be like, no, that's that's just not that time,
like bad vibes. And the other thing is like if
you do match with someone like that, you know they
might give you all green flags. I know for sure.
For me, for a while, I was like, maybe I
(11:42):
should go for an older man, like, you know, not
twenty years older than me, but maybe slightly older. I'm
quite mature, so I was like, maybe that's what I'm
looking for. And also maybe they've done the marriage and
kids thing and they don't want kids, so that kind
of suits me perfectly because I don't want to have kids.
But what I find probably my biggest bugbearer with date
apps is I feel like I'm interviewing someone and I
(12:04):
genuinely think someone just needs to do a date and
app workshop for men, like how to converse and again
like not to use the not all men line. It
obviously is not all of them, but so many of
them have so much potential, Like they're really good looking guys,
they've you know, they've got everything going on for them.
They seem like they have you know from their bio
that they could be very friendly or have good values,
(12:26):
but like you're asking them questions and they are not
asking you questions back, like to the point where I'm like,
will I continue this interview or are you going to
ask me a question? Do you have any interest in?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
What's the point? Like why why are we? Why are we?
Why are you even responding back to me? Just for
making statements like and they I think people say things
like you know, pre strikes and you're out kind of
saying if there's three messages. I was like, if I
think if I asked one question and he came back
and he made a statement, then I might potentially give
(12:57):
like a thumbs up or just something kind of passive
aggressive just to be like I can't even respond to
see if they'll do something. I can't just keep going
back and forward asking the questions.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I know, and you know, I don't think it's like
ill intentioned, because you know, and there's one guy the
last time I was on the date app that's stuck
sticks out so much in my mind, and I think
he was interested, like we had a lot of shared interests.
The messages he was sending back to me seemed pretty engaging,
but it's just he was not asking me anything, And
I think they actually just maybe aren't cognizant of like
(13:32):
some of the etiquette that you do need to actually
ask a woman about her in her life.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, yeah, show some interest and tell me about when
you were on the day and apps or out in
the wild. Did you get any any unusual stories under
your belt?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, you know what, I have one that really sticks
out in my mind as like, look, I would do
some daft stuff like going on the traps.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Do you mean like I will do things just for
the crack to have a story about it. What's the
worst could happen? You have to live your life to
the fullest. And I was in Greece a couple of
months actually after I think my last relationship ended, and
I was in Naxos, one of the islands, and I
(14:21):
met this guy out in the wild, really good lucking
Greek guy. We got on great. You know. He was
a pharmacist, owned his own pharmacy. He was buying me cakes, which,
like the Key Twire, is a good chocolate cake. I
was delighted with life. And then I was hopping over
to Eos and he was like, sure, look I'll come
with you, Like we'll have a bit of crack. I'll
(14:43):
bring the motorbike, we'll go around the island. It was beautiful.
It was my mom and me a moment. I just
like I burst into an Abba song at any moment,
So that was fine. I was flying out a couple
of days later. We said our goodbyes. I didn't think
too much about it. It was a bit of a holiday romance.
It was grand. But he was calling me when I
got back to Ireland and he was like quite keen
(15:04):
and like he was video calling me. And I mean,
I obviously knew it wasn't going to be something that
was going to be long term, but I think I
romanticized it a little bit in my head and he
em to come over to Ireland and I was really
busy with work at the time, and I was actually sorry.
I was doing a master's and working full time, so
(15:24):
I really was like up the walls. So he was like, look,
I'll come over. I won't be in your hair during
the week. I'll go like explore Ireland, so like, you know,
go do the Cliffsomoha and all the tourist Dodd so
all like sound. So I was like these two weekends
only free before I get into the tech of like
my thesis. So if you come over and say these dates,
I can spend this weekend with you and the other
(15:46):
weekend and then during the week you can't be in
the house. I have two housemates. I was lit with
my best friends at the time. They're married now, and
I was like, you can't really hang around the house.
They work from home, so just make sure that you
know Monday to Friday you're gone. So that was fine.
I kind of like regretted it immediately after he booked
(16:08):
the flight because holiday romances should stay on a holiday.
They should. So he came over and look, you know,
I don't necessarily agree with this. I do try to
push through the ick. I don't like the ick. I
think it's totally can meet psycho somatic if that's the
right word. That you give yourself the ick and you
(16:29):
can talk yourself out of it. So I was really
trying to push through. We were getting on all right.
The first weekend I brought him to a wedding. Everyone
was like, this is absolutely daft. You're after bringing a
Greek command I know it was not a good move,
but it was fine to have.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
A nice time at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
He had time.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
That's how that he had.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
An absolutely brilliant time. But I could see the cracks
at this point because a couple of my friends were
like this, there's just something not quite right about this man.
He just I can't even describe it, Like it's like
he didn't think like a typical person. Now, I'm pretty
(17:16):
sure he was an only child. He grew up on
an island in Greece, a bit of a a mother's favorite,
if you will. I don't really want to call him
a mummy's boy. I think that's you know, a bit
mes favorite live. So we had that weekend together. I
was like, right, do you know what, at least he's
going to be gone for the week. And the Monday
came around, I went into the office and work, came home.
(17:40):
Asked my housemates. I was like, was he here all day?
And they were like, yeah, he was like really kind
of like squatter energy, really like making the house his own,
and you know, Irish people like it were very we
wouldn't like that, like we'd be like, you know, be polite,
don't be stationed above your do you know, So we
(18:02):
would find that a bit odd. So I was like look.
So I had a conversation with him. I was like, look,
I did explain to you, you can't be around the
house during the week. Can you go and explot Ireland?
I sent him some links like klits Moher. I was like,
you know, Darnel Cork is beautiful, Johnny caull is really nice,
Like you can get a boy.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Who are you living at this stage? Gulby?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah in Saultel Okay, Yeah in Saultel. So that was fine.
He continued to stay for the whole week, and I
was really really at the end of my tether. People
who know me well know I'm impatient, and it's something
I really learned even more so about myself this year.
(18:43):
I did the Camino, realized that I was very impatient,
but I was in Traders, realized that I was very impatient.
So it is something that I'm working on. I know
it's it's a fault of mine. I don't need people
to tell me. But I was getting really impatient, and
to the point where my housemate Ross was like, I
(19:03):
think that maybe I should step in and have a
word because he's not really listening to me. He just
kept saying like, yes, I will. I'm going to go somewhere.
I'm going to leave and.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
He had arrived and what day and what day was
this now that the friend was stepping in.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
He arrived on the Friday, I think, and it was
kind of mid week the following week, I think, right, okay,
and I was like, no, Look, I walked into town
with them, and I had a pretty stern conversation with him.
I was like, look, I feel like you're not listening
to me, and it is very frustrating for me, so
like I just need to really explain in places what
(19:38):
I mean and how I feel. So I explained it again.
I was like, do you understand and he was like, yes,
I do. I left him in town to do his
own thing because he was just rambling around all the shops.
He was buying Christmas decorations in like September, really fascinated
by like so bleasant. I know, God love him. And
(20:01):
he came back and there was no sign of him moving.
And that was kind of when my housemate was like,
I'm going to say something to him, and Ross God
loved him. He was very protective of me. He knew
that I was quite upset about it. I was very
uncomfortable obviously I had gotten myself into this situation. I'd
invited a fairly random man from Greece into my home
(20:23):
and then it was shocked when it all went it's
up and so no, I told Ros I'm gonna have
another conversation with him, and I ended up getting pretty upset.
I was like, look, you're making me feel really uncomfortable
and I just need to say to you and really
plain terms like I need you to be gone out
here tomorrow. And the bizarre thing and all this was
that he acted so surprised. He was like what, I
(20:46):
don't understand why you're being like this, Like what's happened?
What have I done? And I was like, you have
not listened to a single word that I have said
in the last.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
How many times you have to say to him? Like
so like what can hell?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, it was bonkers. So anyway, he left the next
day eventually, thank god. I think I was going down
to Limerick, so must have been the Thursday I was
going down to my master's in Nuel and I was
texting Rass and he left like a late afternoon And
we only found out months and months later that he
ended up staying with one of our friends who is
(21:24):
so kind and is like one of the nicest people
in the world, too pure for this world. And he
ended up texting him and seeing and stayed on his
couch for god knows how long, like two or three.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Nights, until he went out to get its flights again,
until he.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Went back to Greece. Yeah, like I didn't it got
My friends were so involved in this story, like they
were like they get trauma even thinking about it, and
they're convinced. They were, like he did not have a
flight booked home, like he was coming over here to
like shack off down.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, and then your friend, so sorry you didn't find
out afraid is that he had spent those three days
And what did your friend not say, like, by the way,
he's here on the couch.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, And you know what, like I suppose the friend
I love and we're close, but we wouldn't talk all
the time, and he's a bit of daft character and
he would be totally the type of person he'd bring
random or in off the street. Like, so I was
not surprised at all to hear that he had said
on his couch, but it was just honestly, he was
a really bizarre turn of events. I can't quite believe
(22:26):
how it all worked out. And people still say to me,
they're like, do you remember that Greek lad that you
brought the wedding and had over thighs that wouldn't leave?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
How did they meet? The friend and the Greek you
uly'd introduced them on some night out or whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
At the wedding. We were all at the wedding.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh oh, the wedding. That is absolutely crazy. But I
didn't actually feel panic of you know, he's just not leaving.
He's just here all the time. I've asked him to
go out and do something multiple times. It feels like
a bit like a weirdo under your roof, and you
know you've fucked up, And what do I do now? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
And all I would say is thank god that I
was living with my friends at the time, Martina en Ross,
because I don't know what I would have done. And honestly,
like the thinking back and I'm nearly like can feel
the emotion and as well, like people who will have
seen me on the traders know that I am not
afraid to stand up for myself, Like I can be direct,
(23:24):
I can say what I mean to say, so it
shouldn't have gotten so far, Like it shouldn't have gotten
for me to like be at breaking point with him
and like getting quite upset with them for him to
get the picture.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
You said, you're a bit of a crier, though.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I am a crier. It's funny because even when I
was interviewing for the Traders, they were like, what are
you like? Tell us about yourself and I was like,
I have two sides, like a very fiery red like
direct personality and no bullshit. I call things out, I
say it how it is. But then I have a
really really soft sighted I'm like a headshot, I've got
(24:03):
a prickly back. And I thought.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Absolvely, oh god, but it must have been like, yeah,
that's that kind of personality. They were like, yeah, she's
gonna make some good Telly, and she's also going to
make a good trader. That's what I imagine what they
were thinking when you were interviewing, you know, because you
said you're confident and you're not afraid to write a
fellas first and everything, so they were like, this is
the one. Have you already thought about this given good
(24:27):
thought to like why you were given the trader role?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Yeah? I have. And you know what, It's funny because
going in I was like, I'm definitely going to be
a trader. I just could feel it in my God,
and I think it is because those things like I'm
very resilient for my background is in psychology, I kind
of well. I thought that I was very good at
self regulating myself. I'm confident I can stand up for myself.
(24:52):
I was planning on playing quite a calculated game, and
I just taught I positioned myself to be a trader,
and I felt that they were picking up while I
was putting down. So I was not surprised to get
the tap on the shoulder and.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Comm here did you ever hear from him again? So
obvious he stayed on the couch with your friend and
then he toddled off. So those three days or whatever,
you didn't talk to him and anything after that, So.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
He what after me? I think it was a couple
of months later. It certainly a good number of weeks
and he was like, hey, Caitlin, just wanted to check in.
I had a very strange dream last night that you
were in your house and three men broke in looking
for alcohol and they repeatedly stabbed you with a NYE.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, it was very gendle fucking weird. Why would you
do it? Like, oh my god, it was very whatever.
If you had a dream, Oh I had a dream
about you last night. I really wanted to text you. You
were on my mind. I'm sorry for that, but no,
you were violently murdered by multiple men last night in
my dream.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah, I someone, if anybody is into dream interpretations, please
message into the Dating Orange and tell us what that means.
But yeah, I just blocked him after that.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I didn't. I just straight blocked.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I straight blocked. And one of my friends was like,
you should respond to him and say, I had a
dream You're in my house and it burned down and
you were inside it. But no, I just blocked him
because I was like, I don't think he was well
to be honest in hindsight, like because the behavior was
just quite strange. So yeah, straight.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Though, And then like obviously your holiday romance, however long
it was, what was it a couple of weeks, a
week or.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Something, Yeah, a couple of days, even the.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Day, And then you're like, oh, yeah, sure, why not
you know that was nice over there? Why not come
over here and you know we can do nice things
in Ireland together, but no, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Not the same as being on like a white beach
on the islands of Greece when you're in like rainy
Ireland with this clingy, strange man. So yeah, not for me.
Really put me off holiday romances, in fact, so scared.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I really enjoyed watching you. And I knew when I
see people say things like those two fellas saying, oh,
like we knew she was a trader and that we
could control her, and I was like, this is spoofers, spoofers,
and I'm glad now that everybody wasn't happy with them
after that. And I can't remember that girl's nakin name now,
but the girl who's the tattoo apprentice.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Amy, Yeah, she is an absolute queen, I have to say.
And what I loved about Amy's approach she didn't let
Ben riggle out of that conversation like she really I
think the energy she was pulling him into the conversation
and grounding him in it, like he was not getting
away from that. And I just really really admired her
(27:40):
approach to it because despite the fact that Amy was
delighted that they had called a traitor and that I
was a traitor. She did not like the way that
they were talking about me. And look, I me and
Ben and Nick have spoken about it, and I don't
think that they intended it to be this quite this
like we want to control woman. But you know, they
(28:01):
understand that is the way that it came across in
the moment. It was more about controlling the player as
opposed to it being the gender thing. But it just
that that kind of language is very triggering two women. Yeah,
because of course we know so many women are in
relationships where they're with people who are being controlled. So
although and I mean this with my whole heart, like
(28:23):
that was not their intention, and there is no loave
loss whatsoever between Ben, Nick, Amy Me, all of us
are really really close. But it's just without that context
and without you know, seeing how it all aired out,
that can be very triggering and a big red flag
for women. So I do understand why people had commentary
around it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I was just thinking to myself and I like, that's
fucking typical. Now, these two big fucking lads thereafter both
getting gassed up, now because one fellow had gotten I
don't know what what that they kept voting for him
as being like most useful or something that wins most challenges.
I can't remember. And then Nick was the leader, and
then I thought the two fuckers now saying that they
can control her, And then my back was up watching
(29:04):
the thing. But like I'm glad to hear. Obviously they
were just getting all caught up. And had it been
a fella that they thought was red hot, they would
have been like, we could have controlled him.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, I do believe that in fairness, and I think
as well, it was more so like Nick thought that
me and him, maybe that we had a or that
at least I viewed him in a closer way than
I actually did. Like for me, I would have murdered Nick.
But I think he thought, oh, yeah, I've got a
wrapped around my finger now. And you know, Ben and Nick,
if you're listening, you know I love you, but you
(29:34):
let your egos get the better of your doubt.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Somehow they're listening to the Dating Orange podcast. Ill can
doubt that.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Again, Well, they're they're both in very happy relationships, So
I don't imagine that there we go.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I could never I could never be on that show,
you know. I just don't have the head, for I
would lose it every two seconds. I would take everything.
So personally, I would be like, what did I do
to make you think that I did that? I just
I don't it is, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And like, as you said, like I went in there
being like I'm so cool, haded, Like even in the
interview process they were like, you know, you're someone that
strikes as us saying I'm under pressure, You're not easily flappable.
And I'm like, yeah, totally, that describes me to a tee.
But when you're in there, it is so hard not
to get defensive because you're sleep deprived, you're in these
(30:24):
close quarters with these strangers who have become your whole life.
For you know, several days in a row, you're in
a bit of a time warp. Your nervous system is
just getting the better of you, and you're not using
the executive part of your brain. You are literally relying
on habits like defensiveness, aggression, assumptions, all that kind of stuff.
(30:45):
So it's funny because even people will say things that
aren't true and they convince themselves that they are true.
And I'm not saying that out of judgment because I'm
sure that I probably did it in there too, but
it's so easy to do. It's such an interesting social experiment.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
But yeah, well I fear I would come out of
there with some mental health issues with like there's so
many fucked up things, like and you're just under some
serious pressure, like you might need to go to therapy
after it.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, and I will say, like shout out to them.
They're so supportive, like first of all getting in. They're
not letting just anyone in, Like if they feel that
you're not going to be able to handle the pressure,
you're not going to get in. And of course people
can change when they're in there, but they are checking
in on your wellness and stuff, like there was one
day I got really upset, and you know they'll take you,
so I check and you see what you need. There's
(31:35):
obviously psychologists on hand if you do need to talk
to someone, and that's even after the show as well,
but you do. It took me about four weeks to
come back to reality. I had a bit of not
Stockholm syndrome, but I suppose in a way like I
was yearning to be back in the castle even though
I had such a stressful time there. It was like
I was craving the chaos.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
It was so strange and came here anything going on
in the DMS now have fell has been rolling in?
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I have actually got a cop a good fee, more
than I thought, more than I thought. But I for
as confidence as I am, I'm a little bit shy
about stuff like that, and I think it comes down
again to I really need to kind of susce someone's
energy out to know if I want to do that
(32:22):
tangle with them. So I haven't really responded to anyone.
If people say nice things, I'm like, oh, thank you
so much for the support, and I kind of just
don't engage with the flirty planter that's happening. But then
you see really nice stories of people who were, like
this person said in twenty ms, and now we've been
going out, I think you're one of them.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
No I am. I am one of them.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Well, although there was people sliding like in sorry, women
and men would write you know, I just like talking
away or saying like you seem like we would really
get along. These are women. And I've met up with
women and men and went for friendly pints and made
friends with both genders there and then him meant to
be yeah, what it was as well, but then then
(33:02):
it wasn't. Then it wasn't. But yeah, like I used to,
I'd always talk to people because I was like, I
don't know, cheers for the support, you know, and then
I'd end up in some fucking conversation. But I'd always
said that, like I didn't want to find somebody off
the dating Orange page because whatever relationship they had had
(33:22):
with me was not actually me, you know, as in
like I was hiding my face with an orange and
I was just talking about dating and whatever kind of
personality I had when I faced the phone, and you know,
it's not actually you haven't met me on a day
and app or like out on the road, and I
just thought it was a weird not balanced or something.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, you have obviously you're presenting this and I don't
want to say it's a persona because you kind of
seem like very authentic in this part of your life,
which is great, but I get what you're saying. It's
similar I have like my work persona, and if I
met one through where I would be like, that's really
(34:01):
only half of who I am, and I don't feel
like you know the real me. So I completely understand that. Yeah,
I would, as I said, I would like to meet someone.
It would be a nice embellishment into my life. But
I think because I'm so like, I treat myself really well,
Like I think it was shared that said, like, you know,
I don't need a man. I'm the man, you know, Like, yeah,
(34:23):
I treat myself really well. I gave myself everything I need.
I'm a very spiritual person. I'm very happy, so don't
feel like I need anyone. So therefore, if I'm going
to invite someone into my life, it has to feel right.
And I just feel like impersonal. If someone is sliding
into my DMS, I'm clearly wrong because it has worked
out for so many people, so maybe I need to
(34:44):
take a chance.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Well, no, it seems like you don't need no man.
You know, you are happy out as you are, and
if something naturally comes about, like it's a great way
to be instead of going out there, you know, trying
to hunt someone down, you are shilling.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I know. It's so funny as well, Like I think
it was last year my parents were like, well, you know,
if if you were to bring home a woman, we
wouldn't we would be okay with that. And I was like,
I know you would be okay with that, and thank
you very much, but I wish I was into women,
but I'm unfortunately not on that note.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Thank you so much, and thanks for sharing your dating stories,
because what a fucking like a spanner in the works
for you. You're com now talking about traders. Then you're like, oh, dating,
I know.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
And ladies, lads and everyone else. Let this be a
lesson holiday romances should stay on holidays. Otherwise it would
be a disaster. It's a ninety day fiance situation. Just
don't go there.
This week I am joined by Caitlin Divili from The
Traders Ireland. She was the second Trader to be booted
out of the show, so sorry if you haven't watched
it and if that's a spoiler for you. We chat
about whether there was any love going on behind the
scenes and her run ins with the lads on the show,
including that we can control her moment with the two lads,
and then of course her own love life outside of
(00:32):
the Castle and what it's been like for her since
she got out. Caitlin has such a refreshing, positive, chill
attitude dating and honestly, I say that we could all
take a leaf out of her book enjoy. How are
you getting on now since it all finished, I'd say
it's absolutely mad, I'll go.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Honestly, it's bonkers. It's nearly busier when you're out of
the castle because you have journalist podcasts like people reaching
out to you. So I did not anticipate that it
would be the week after drivers out that would be
the busiest. So yeah, I've been booked and busy.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So as soon as people are kicked out or whatever
happens to them, voted out or whatever, like straight away
they're allowed to go and kind of get involved with
this kind of stuff with us, but just obviously being
careful about behind the scenes stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah. Absolutely, So there's obviously certain things that we can't
talk about, which is totally fair. You don't want to
ruin the magic of the show itself. But yeah, they
set you up to talk to some journalists around table
so that you know, you're kind of killing a couple
of birds with one stone. And then yeah, just like
really fun podcasts like this. I've been on a couple
of other podcasts as well. They've been a lot of fun,
(01:38):
just a lot more conversational than some of the journalists stuff.
And yeah, I'm going to the Plowing Championships tomorrow, which
I didn't have one my bingo carn for this year.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
When I put that up, actually that I had you
coming up, but everybody was loving it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Oh I'm delighted, you know what. Like I knew when
I went into the castle, I was like, this is
either going to be an absolute hatchet job or they're
actually going to really invest in it. And I knew
when we got there. I was like, I have a
good feeling about this. This is going to be special.
But I did not anticipate how it has turned out.
Like the viewing numbers, they'd almost have the available audience
(02:14):
the week that it aired, which is pretty much unheard of.
It was similar to the Olympics viewing, which was just bonkers,
one point two million or something. It was just crazy.
If you think about like one in every five people
was watching it, it's just.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Nuts and Kamrina. Is there any loving going on behind
the scenes? Is there is there any little people shacking
up slightly?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Do you know what? Actually most of the people in
there are in relationships. There's a couple of us that
were threatening that we would love to do a Traitor's
First State special, So I think, I hope I don't
forget anyone now but Mark, Christine, Niall, Kelly, Linda. I'm
so sorry. Guys. If any of your listening I've forgotten you.
(03:01):
If you're single, you're also coming on for his States
with us?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Oh my god, you should. That would be gass. I
would love that. But like you know that the UK one,
there was I think there was a lot going on
in the background of the UK one, and then there
was that. I suppose you watched all the UK wants
to get before you went on. There was that girl.
I can't remember what her name was, but she was
shaving her legs in that episode, and she ended up
getting pregnant with Connor Maynard. Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Well, actually turned out it wasn't his kid.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Oh yeah, I saw that test revealed he was not
like that, that poor bastard, like he was like he
asked for the DNA test I think originally then people
all the fans started using them because they're like, how
dare you? And then it turned out wasn't to his child. Yeah,
like I.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Mean to ask for a DNA test and to get
the backlash, I mean, Jesus, that's that's rough, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And then she had came out obviously she was just
mad for the attention, but she came out and said
that that that ma friend that she had made Connor
may and was his brother in law whatever your man's
name was, with black hair. And then he had cut
her off and didn't want to be friends with her anymore.
And I was like, obviously, hun, why what do you
want to you have to fucus with spoof and about
having a baby with the poor bastard.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I know, I know it was I do remember that
kind of. I actually think that they slept together at
like the rap party or something. So yeah, it was
so traders related, traders adjacent even, Well, why.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You're telling me anyway is that there's no loving going
on with you and any of the other content.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And you know what, It's funny because like obviously the
you know, to get on the show, there's a very
rigorous process. And I remember in one of the interviews
that I had to do, like they were like, what
would you do now if like you went in and
you fancied someone? And I was like, first of all,
like I'm not going to do that. That's not going
to happen. And they were like, how do you know?
And I was like, because I'm going to be so
stressed that there is no way that I'm going to
(04:53):
have any capacity to be eyeing up the young lad
across the table, Like it's just wouldn't be possible.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
How long have you been single for?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
How long have I been single for? Oh my god,
that's a good question. Two and a half years. I
think I'm just trying to trace it back. It's either
two and a half or three and a half years.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Good lords, Well, you're obviously not counting not a bother
to you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, I'm actually very happy single person, I would say,
And I do get a lot of people being like
because I'm thirty two, and I often get a lot
of people. I don't think that there's no intention of judgment,
but I think just because of our own biases from society,
we assume that a woman in her thirties should be
in a relationship because surely she wants to have babies.
(05:35):
So people are often like, oh, would you not want
to meet someone? Or how do you feel about being single?
And I'm like, I'm actually very happy to be single,
or I really if I was with someone, it would
be a nice addition, do you know what I mean?
Like it would it would add another embellishment to my life.
But my life is very fulfilled without being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So but that's the way that everybody should be. You know,
when I see people girls who kind of center their
lives around finding fellas, like and then obviously they're putting
all of their hope into it, and then they're so
disappointed after every date or every conversation on Tinder that
goes out or whatever, and so like, if you you know,
fill up your life with other things that make you
(06:16):
happy and fulfilled. You know that that's the perfect way
to have it. That a fella is just a nice addition.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, And I like the one thing I will say
is I don't want kids, so like I don't have
that additional pressure. So, like, I can understand that I
have a lot of friends who, thankfully most of them
are in relationships now, but like in the last couple
of years have maybe not been in a relationship, and
they're very conscious of their biological clock and the fact
that they want to have kids soon. And you don't
(06:43):
want to be having a baby with any old dickie dido,
Like you kind of want to be with them for
a few years and make sure that they're going to
be a good father and a family man. So I
do understand the pressure from that perspective, but it's just
not something that I want in my life. So I
don't have to contend with her.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
And you were given the apps to go at one
stage area, But that's that's the thing of the past,
is it.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, I am allergic to dating apps, and like I
have been on them over the years, you know what
I mean, in between being in relationships, So like I
definitely would have been an early adopter of like Tinder
and some of the other dating apps as well, and
I just I just feel like they're fundamentally broken at
(07:24):
the moment. And I don't know if you've had other
people on that would agree with that, but it's like
people just don't know how to date anymore. And I
don't know, is it the dating apps or is it
because there's so much polarization between men and women and
we all have these different expectations because the algorithm is
just pushing us further apart. But I do believe that
(07:45):
the dating apps are broken. They do not work as
intended anymore. And I think you can even see that
in from what I understand, like the shares are really
dropping in dating apps, and like they're kind of in
panic mode trying to fix it, I guess, to get
people back on them.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
But people, So are you saying that when you do
go on dates, or if you are even going on dates,
do you find people in real life? Here?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The last person that I was dating was actually someone
I knew and I bumped into and we just started
talking on Instagram and we went on a couple of dates,
really really, really nice guy. I have to say, I
come to a bad word to say about him. And
I was very hopeful because I was like, oh, I've
met this person out in the wild. It's very organic actually,
but just didn't work out. It wasn't what I was
(08:29):
looking for romantically. And I think he was probably the same,
but someone that I would probably still talk to here
and there, like we're quite friendly, Like we didn't fall
out with a very civil conversation about it. I have
been on dates from dating apps, like I think the
last time I was on a dating app was last
Christmas maybe, and I think after that experience, I was like,
(08:51):
this is just not for me. I need to meet
with someone and vibe with them or like you know,
get a background check from someone who knows them I
and can give the end coach review. I just there's
so much pressure on it when you meet someone you
don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
There's just I think people have just a general lack
of respect for people on dating apps. I'd even come
across girls on the date an Orange page who would say, like,
you know, they don't respond to a lot of the
men who write to them, and I was like, but
you matched with them though, and They're like, well, I
don't owe them anything. I don't even know them. It's
a dating app. And I was like a bit respect well,
(09:28):
no one, do you know you've matched with them? He's
put himself out there being like, how are you? That
looks like a nice picture of you and those mountains?
You know, whatever the fuck? And then you're like, nah,
you know, and women give out all the time about
you know how disappointing it is to constantly It's like
compounded with disappointment after disappointment, and now and now they
have no hope of ever finding anyone. Think about the
(09:50):
fellows who are constantly sending message to women who are
just not replying, and people if they just acted a
little better on the apps, life would be great.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I complete. I have to say. When I was on
the apps, and maybe not in the past, but certainly
in the last couple of years, I would always make
an effort to write to someone like I would have
no issue now writing to someone first. I'm very direct,
I'm a fairly confident person, so I would have no
issue writing to a fella first. But I agree, I know,
like a lot of people are just matching with all
(10:21):
these people and then not responding to them. And I
think I've heard people talk about it on a couple
of podcasts that like it really is the top Like
I'm just pulling this percentage out of my head, but
like maybe the top ten percent are getting all the
messages right from women and then it's the rest of
them are kind of being left out and feel that
there's no one there for them to match it or
(10:42):
to talk to, which it is sad, Like I know.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I do wonder is that true the top ten percent
of men are getting all the messages? But like, but
I look at all these shite bags who are flat
out getting women and they're nothing to look at, and
they treat women like shite and you know they have
you see it on are we doing the same guy?
And they'd have some absolutely mental bio that's extremely negative
and women are still being like anything about this man,
(11:06):
you know, and the women are like, have you read
his bio there? He's obviously not a nice person. I
just feel like there's always men always get somebody. So
I just don't I don't know if I believe with that,
like that top ten percent thing.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, I honestly I don't know either. I agree on
the like there's certain bios that I would have just avoided.
I'd be like, no, that's that's just not that time,
like bad vibes. And the other thing is like if
you do match with someone like that, you know they
might give you all green flags. I know for sure.
For me, for a while, I was like, maybe I
(11:42):
should go for an older man, like, you know, not
twenty years older than me, but maybe slightly older. I'm
quite mature, so I was like, maybe that's what I'm
looking for. And also maybe they've done the marriage and
kids thing and they don't want kids, so that kind
of suits me perfectly because I don't want to have kids.
But what I find probably my biggest bugbearer with date
apps is I feel like I'm interviewing someone and I
(12:04):
genuinely think someone just needs to do a date and
app workshop for men, like how to converse and again
like not to use the not all men line. It
obviously is not all of them, but so many of
them have so much potential, Like they're really good looking guys,
they've you know, they've got everything going on for them.
They seem like they have you know from their bio
that they could be very friendly or have good values,
(12:26):
but like you're asking them questions and they are not
asking you questions back, like to the point where I'm like,
will I continue this interview or are you going to
ask me a question? Do you have any interest in?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
What's the point? Like why why are we? Why are we?
Why are you even responding back to me? Just for
making statements like and they I think people say things
like you know, pre strikes and you're out kind of
saying if there's three messages. I was like, if I
think if I asked one question and he came back
and he made a statement, then I might potentially give
(12:57):
like a thumbs up or just something kind of passive
aggressive just to be like I can't even respond to
see if they'll do something. I can't just keep going
back and forward asking the questions.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I know, and you know, I don't think it's like
ill intentioned, because you know, and there's one guy the
last time I was on the date app that's stuck
sticks out so much in my mind, and I think
he was interested, like we had a lot of shared interests.
The messages he was sending back to me seemed pretty engaging,
but it's just he was not asking me anything, And
I think they actually just maybe aren't cognizant of like
(13:32):
some of the etiquette that you do need to actually
ask a woman about her in her life.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, yeah, show some interest and tell me about when
you were on the day and apps or out in
the wild. Did you get any any unusual stories under
your belt?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, you know what, I have one that really sticks
out in my mind as like, look, I would do
some daft stuff like going on the traps.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Do you mean like I will do things just for
the crack to have a story about it. What's the
worst could happen? You have to live your life to
the fullest. And I was in Greece a couple of
months actually after I think my last relationship ended, and
I was in Naxos, one of the islands, and I
(14:21):
met this guy out in the wild, really good lucking
Greek guy. We got on great. You know. He was
a pharmacist, owned his own pharmacy. He was buying me cakes, which,
like the Key Twire, is a good chocolate cake. I
was delighted with life. And then I was hopping over
to Eos and he was like, sure, look I'll come
with you, Like we'll have a bit of crack. I'll
(14:43):
bring the motorbike, we'll go around the island. It was beautiful.
It was my mom and me a moment. I just
like I burst into an Abba song at any moment,
So that was fine. I was flying out a couple
of days later. We said our goodbyes. I didn't think
too much about it. It was a bit of a holiday romance.
It was grand. But he was calling me when I
got back to Ireland and he was like quite keen
(15:04):
and like he was video calling me. And I mean,
I obviously knew it wasn't going to be something that
was going to be long term, but I think I
romanticized it a little bit in my head and he
em to come over to Ireland and I was really
busy with work at the time, and I was actually sorry.
I was doing a master's and working full time, so
(15:24):
I really was like up the walls. So he was like, look,
I'll come over. I won't be in your hair during
the week. I'll go like explore Ireland, so like, you know,
go do the Cliffsomoha and all the tourist Dodd so
all like sound. So I was like these two weekends
only free before I get into the tech of like
my thesis. So if you come over and say these dates,
I can spend this weekend with you and the other
(15:46):
weekend and then during the week you can't be in
the house. I have two housemates. I was lit with
my best friends at the time. They're married now, and
I was like, you can't really hang around the house.
They work from home, so just make sure that you
know Monday to Friday you're gone. So that was fine.
I kind of like regretted it immediately after he booked
(16:08):
the flight because holiday romances should stay on a holiday.
They should. So he came over and look, you know,
I don't necessarily agree with this. I do try to
push through the ick. I don't like the ick. I
think it's totally can meet psycho somatic if that's the
right word. That you give yourself the ick and you
(16:29):
can talk yourself out of it. So I was really
trying to push through. We were getting on all right.
The first weekend I brought him to a wedding. Everyone
was like, this is absolutely daft. You're after bringing a
Greek command I know it was not a good move,
but it was fine to have.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
A nice time at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
He had time.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
That's how that he had.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
An absolutely brilliant time. But I could see the cracks
at this point because a couple of my friends were
like this, there's just something not quite right about this man.
He just I can't even describe it, Like it's like
he didn't think like a typical person. Now, I'm pretty
(17:16):
sure he was an only child. He grew up on
an island in Greece, a bit of a a mother's favorite,
if you will. I don't really want to call him
a mummy's boy. I think that's you know, a bit
mes favorite live. So we had that weekend together. I
was like, right, do you know what, at least he's
going to be gone for the week. And the Monday
came around, I went into the office and work, came home.
(17:40):
Asked my housemates. I was like, was he here all day?
And they were like, yeah, he was like really kind
of like squatter energy, really like making the house his own,
and you know, Irish people like it were very we
wouldn't like that, like we'd be like, you know, be polite,
don't be stationed above your do you know, So we
(18:02):
would find that a bit odd. So I was like look.
So I had a conversation with him. I was like, look,
I did explain to you, you can't be around the
house during the week. Can you go and explot Ireland?
I sent him some links like klits Moher. I was like,
you know, Darnel Cork is beautiful, Johnny caull is really nice,
Like you can get a boy.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Who are you living at this stage? Gulby?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah in Saultel Okay, Yeah in Saultel. So that was fine.
He continued to stay for the whole week, and I
was really really at the end of my tether. People
who know me well know I'm impatient, and it's something
I really learned even more so about myself this year.
(18:43):
I did the Camino, realized that I was very impatient,
but I was in Traders, realized that I was very impatient.
So it is something that I'm working on. I know
it's it's a fault of mine. I don't need people
to tell me. But I was getting really impatient, and
to the point where my housemate Ross was like, I
(19:03):
think that maybe I should step in and have a
word because he's not really listening to me. He just
kept saying like, yes, I will. I'm going to go somewhere.
I'm going to leave and.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
He had arrived and what day and what day was
this now that the friend was stepping in.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
He arrived on the Friday, I think, and it was
kind of mid week the following week, I think, right, okay,
and I was like, no, Look, I walked into town
with them, and I had a pretty stern conversation with him.
I was like, look, I feel like you're not listening
to me, and it is very frustrating for me, so
like I just need to really explain in places what
(19:38):
I mean and how I feel. So I explained it again.
I was like, do you understand and he was like, yes,
I do. I left him in town to do his
own thing because he was just rambling around all the shops.
He was buying Christmas decorations in like September, really fascinated
by like so bleasant. I know, God love him. And
(20:01):
he came back and there was no sign of him moving.
And that was kind of when my housemate was like,
I'm going to say something to him, and Ross God
loved him. He was very protective of me. He knew
that I was quite upset about it. I was very
uncomfortable obviously I had gotten myself into this situation. I'd
invited a fairly random man from Greece into my home
(20:23):
and then it was shocked when it all went it's
up and so no, I told Ros I'm gonna have
another conversation with him, and I ended up getting pretty upset.
I was like, look, you're making me feel really uncomfortable
and I just need to say to you and really
plain terms like I need you to be gone out
here tomorrow. And the bizarre thing and all this was
that he acted so surprised. He was like what, I
(20:46):
don't understand why you're being like this, Like what's happened?
What have I done? And I was like, you have
not listened to a single word that I have said
in the last.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
How many times you have to say to him? Like
so like what can hell?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, it was bonkers. So anyway, he left the next
day eventually, thank god. I think I was going down
to Limerick, so must have been the Thursday I was
going down to my master's in Nuel and I was
texting Rass and he left like a late afternoon And
we only found out months and months later that he
ended up staying with one of our friends who is
(21:24):
so kind and is like one of the nicest people
in the world, too pure for this world. And he
ended up texting him and seeing and stayed on his
couch for god knows how long, like two or three.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Nights, until he went out to get its flights again,
until he.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Went back to Greece. Yeah, like I didn't it got
My friends were so involved in this story, like they
were like they get trauma even thinking about it, and
they're convinced. They were, like he did not have a
flight booked home, like he was coming over here to
like shack off down.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, and then your friend, so sorry you didn't find
out afraid is that he had spent those three days
And what did your friend not say, like, by the way,
he's here on the couch.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, And you know what, like I suppose the friend
I love and we're close, but we wouldn't talk all
the time, and he's a bit of daft character and
he would be totally the type of person he'd bring
random or in off the street. Like, so I was
not surprised at all to hear that he had said
on his couch, but it was just honestly, he was
a really bizarre turn of events. I can't quite believe
(22:26):
how it all worked out. And people still say to me,
they're like, do you remember that Greek lad that you
brought the wedding and had over thighs that wouldn't leave?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
How did they meet? The friend and the Greek you
uly'd introduced them on some night out or whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
At the wedding. We were all at the wedding.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh oh, the wedding. That is absolutely crazy. But I
didn't actually feel panic of you know, he's just not leaving.
He's just here all the time. I've asked him to
go out and do something multiple times. It feels like
a bit like a weirdo under your roof, and you
know you've fucked up, And what do I do now? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
And all I would say is thank god that I
was living with my friends at the time, Martina en Ross,
because I don't know what I would have done. And honestly,
like the thinking back and I'm nearly like can feel
the emotion and as well, like people who will have
seen me on the traders know that I am not
afraid to stand up for myself, Like I can be direct,
(23:24):
I can say what I mean to say, so it
shouldn't have gotten so far, Like it shouldn't have gotten
for me to like be at breaking point with him
and like getting quite upset with them for him to
get the picture.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
You said, you're a bit of a crier, though.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I am a crier. It's funny because even when I
was interviewing for the Traders, they were like, what are
you like? Tell us about yourself and I was like,
I have two sides, like a very fiery red like
direct personality and no bullshit. I call things out, I
say it how it is. But then I have a
really really soft sighted I'm like a headshot, I've got
(24:03):
a prickly back. And I thought.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Absolvely, oh god, but it must have been like, yeah,
that's that kind of personality. They were like, yeah, she's
gonna make some good Telly, and she's also going to
make a good trader. That's what I imagine what they
were thinking when you were interviewing, you know, because you
said you're confident and you're not afraid to write a
fellas first and everything, so they were like, this is
the one. Have you already thought about this given good
(24:27):
thought to like why you were given the trader role?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Yeah? I have. And you know what, It's funny because
going in I was like, I'm definitely going to be
a trader. I just could feel it in my God,
and I think it is because those things like I'm
very resilient for my background is in psychology, I kind
of well. I thought that I was very good at
self regulating myself. I'm confident I can stand up for myself.
(24:52):
I was planning on playing quite a calculated game, and
I just taught I positioned myself to be a trader,
and I felt that they were picking up while I
was putting down. So I was not surprised to get
the tap on the shoulder and.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Comm here did you ever hear from him again? So
obvious he stayed on the couch with your friend and
then he toddled off. So those three days or whatever,
you didn't talk to him and anything after that, So.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
He what after me? I think it was a couple
of months later. It certainly a good number of weeks
and he was like, hey, Caitlin, just wanted to check in.
I had a very strange dream last night that you
were in your house and three men broke in looking
for alcohol and they repeatedly stabbed you with a NYE.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, it was very gendle fucking weird. Why would you
do it? Like, oh my god, it was very whatever.
If you had a dream, Oh I had a dream
about you last night. I really wanted to text you. You
were on my mind. I'm sorry for that, but no,
you were violently murdered by multiple men last night in
my dream.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah, I someone, if anybody is into dream interpretations, please
message into the Dating Orange and tell us what that means.
But yeah, I just blocked him after that.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I didn't. I just straight blocked.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I straight blocked. And one of my friends was like,
you should respond to him and say, I had a
dream You're in my house and it burned down and
you were inside it. But no, I just blocked him
because I was like, I don't think he was well
to be honest in hindsight, like because the behavior was
just quite strange. So yeah, straight.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Though, And then like obviously your holiday romance, however long
it was, what was it a couple of weeks, a
week or.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Something, Yeah, a couple of days, even the.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Day, And then you're like, oh, yeah, sure, why not
you know that was nice over there? Why not come
over here and you know we can do nice things
in Ireland together, but no, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Not the same as being on like a white beach
on the islands of Greece when you're in like rainy
Ireland with this clingy, strange man. So yeah, not for me.
Really put me off holiday romances, in fact, so scared.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I really enjoyed watching you. And I knew when I
see people say things like those two fellas saying, oh,
like we knew she was a trader and that we
could control her, and I was like, this is spoofers, spoofers,
and I'm glad now that everybody wasn't happy with them
after that. And I can't remember that girl's nakin name now,
but the girl who's the tattoo apprentice.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Amy, Yeah, she is an absolute queen, I have to say.
And what I loved about Amy's approach she didn't let
Ben riggle out of that conversation like she really I
think the energy she was pulling him into the conversation
and grounding him in it, like he was not getting
away from that. And I just really really admired her
(27:40):
approach to it because despite the fact that Amy was
delighted that they had called a traitor and that I
was a traitor. She did not like the way that
they were talking about me. And look, I me and
Ben and Nick have spoken about it, and I don't
think that they intended it to be this quite this
like we want to control woman. But you know, they
(28:01):
understand that is the way that it came across in
the moment. It was more about controlling the player as
opposed to it being the gender thing. But it just
that that kind of language is very triggering two women. Yeah,
because of course we know so many women are in
relationships where they're with people who are being controlled. So
although and I mean this with my whole heart, like
(28:23):
that was not their intention, and there is no loave
loss whatsoever between Ben, Nick, Amy Me, all of us
are really really close. But it's just without that context
and without you know, seeing how it all aired out,
that can be very triggering and a big red flag
for women. So I do understand why people had commentary
around it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I was just thinking to myself and I like, that's
fucking typical. Now, these two big fucking lads thereafter both
getting gassed up, now because one fellow had gotten I
don't know what what that they kept voting for him
as being like most useful or something that wins most challenges.
I can't remember. And then Nick was the leader, and
then I thought the two fuckers now saying that they
can control her, And then my back was up watching
(29:04):
the thing. But like I'm glad to hear. Obviously they
were just getting all caught up. And had it been
a fella that they thought was red hot, they would
have been like, we could have controlled him.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, I do believe that in fairness, and I think
as well, it was more so like Nick thought that
me and him, maybe that we had a or that
at least I viewed him in a closer way than
I actually did. Like for me, I would have murdered Nick.
But I think he thought, oh, yeah, I've got a
wrapped around my finger now. And you know, Ben and Nick,
if you're listening, you know I love you, but you
(29:34):
let your egos get the better of your doubt.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Somehow they're listening to the Dating Orange podcast. Ill can
doubt that.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Again, Well, they're they're both in very happy relationships, So
I don't imagine that there we go.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I could never I could never be on that show,
you know. I just don't have the head, for I
would lose it every two seconds. I would take everything.
So personally, I would be like, what did I do
to make you think that I did that? I just
I don't it is, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And like, as you said, like I went in there
being like I'm so cool, haded, Like even in the
interview process they were like, you know, you're someone that
strikes as us saying I'm under pressure, You're not easily flappable.
And I'm like, yeah, totally, that describes me to a tee.
But when you're in there, it is so hard not
to get defensive because you're sleep deprived, you're in these
(30:24):
close quarters with these strangers who have become your whole life.
For you know, several days in a row, you're in
a bit of a time warp. Your nervous system is
just getting the better of you, and you're not using
the executive part of your brain. You are literally relying
on habits like defensiveness, aggression, assumptions, all that kind of stuff.
(30:45):
So it's funny because even people will say things that
aren't true and they convince themselves that they are true.
And I'm not saying that out of judgment because I'm
sure that I probably did it in there too, but
it's so easy to do. It's such an interesting social experiment.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
But yeah, well I fear I would come out of
there with some mental health issues with like there's so
many fucked up things, like and you're just under some
serious pressure, like you might need to go to therapy
after it.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, and I will say, like shout out to them.
They're so supportive, like first of all getting in. They're
not letting just anyone in, Like if they feel that
you're not going to be able to handle the pressure,
you're not going to get in. And of course people
can change when they're in there, but they are checking
in on your wellness and stuff, like there was one
day I got really upset, and you know they'll take you,
so I check and you see what you need. There's
(31:35):
obviously psychologists on hand if you do need to talk
to someone, and that's even after the show as well,
but you do. It took me about four weeks to
come back to reality. I had a bit of not
Stockholm syndrome, but I suppose in a way like I
was yearning to be back in the castle even though
I had such a stressful time there. It was like
I was craving the chaos.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
It was so strange and came here anything going on
in the DMS now have fell has been rolling in?
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I have actually got a cop a good fee, more
than I thought, more than I thought. But I for
as confidence as I am, I'm a little bit shy
about stuff like that, and I think it comes down
again to I really need to kind of susce someone's
energy out to know if I want to do that
(32:22):
tangle with them. So I haven't really responded to anyone.
If people say nice things, I'm like, oh, thank you
so much for the support, and I kind of just
don't engage with the flirty planter that's happening. But then
you see really nice stories of people who were, like
this person said in twenty ms, and now we've been
going out, I think you're one of them.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
No I am. I am one of them.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Well, although there was people sliding like in sorry, women
and men would write you know, I just like talking
away or saying like you seem like we would really
get along. These are women. And I've met up with
women and men and went for friendly pints and made
friends with both genders there and then him meant to
be yeah, what it was as well, but then then
(33:02):
it wasn't. Then it wasn't. But yeah, like I used to,
I'd always talk to people because I was like, I
don't know, cheers for the support, you know, and then
I'd end up in some fucking conversation. But I'd always
said that, like I didn't want to find somebody off
the dating Orange page because whatever relationship they had had
(33:22):
with me was not actually me, you know, as in
like I was hiding my face with an orange and
I was just talking about dating and whatever kind of
personality I had when I faced the phone, and you know,
it's not actually you haven't met me on a day
and app or like out on the road, and I
just thought it was a weird not balanced or something.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, you have obviously you're presenting this and I don't
want to say it's a persona because you kind of
seem like very authentic in this part of your life,
which is great, but I get what you're saying. It's
similar I have like my work persona, and if I
met one through where I would be like, that's really
(34:01):
only half of who I am, and I don't feel
like you know the real me. So I completely understand that. Yeah,
I would, as I said, I would like to meet someone.
It would be a nice embellishment into my life. But
I think because I'm so like, I treat myself really well,
Like I think it was shared that said, like, you know,
I don't need a man. I'm the man, you know, Like, yeah,
(34:23):
I treat myself really well. I gave myself everything I need.
I'm a very spiritual person. I'm very happy, so don't
feel like I need anyone. So therefore, if I'm going
to invite someone into my life, it has to feel right.
And I just feel like impersonal. If someone is sliding
into my DMS, I'm clearly wrong because it has worked
out for so many people, so maybe I need to
(34:44):
take a chance.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Well, no, it seems like you don't need no man.
You know, you are happy out as you are, and
if something naturally comes about, like it's a great way
to be instead of going out there, you know, trying
to hunt someone down, you are shilling.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I know. It's so funny as well, Like I think
it was last year my parents were like, well, you know,
if if you were to bring home a woman, we
wouldn't we would be okay with that. And I was like,
I know you would be okay with that, and thank
you very much, but I wish I was into women,
but I'm unfortunately not on that note.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Thank you so much, and thanks for sharing your dating stories,
because what a fucking like a spanner in the works
for you. You're com now talking about traders. Then you're like, oh, dating,
I know.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
And ladies, lads and everyone else. Let this be a
lesson holiday romances should stay on holidays. Otherwise it would
be a disaster. It's a ninety day fiance situation. Just
don't go there.
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