Situationships, STDs & Short Kings - with Justine Stafford - The Dating Orange Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Ah, how are ye? Welcome back to season two of
the Dating Orange Podcast. It's been a while in the making.
My apologies, but.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
I am back at it.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Over the season, you can look forward to a range
of different guests, dating coach Erica eaton, attachment theory expert
Adam Lane Smith, Irish poet Darren Fleming on his experience
with getting sex storted, and loads loads more. Today I'm
chatting too comedian, writer, podcaster, presenter and mile pal Justine Stabbard.

(00:42):
And at the end I have a new segment where
I catch up with one of the couples that I
set up on a blind date. You can call me
Sila Orange. This all came about because I decided to
try my hand at matchmaking. I put up a few
videos on TikTok to say that I wanted to set
people up, got those interested people to fill in a form,
and I set any matches up on a date. Basically,

(01:05):
I just asked that those who did get set up
reported back to let me and all of you know
how they got on. So stay tuned until the end
for one of those couples. But now back to Justine
and enjoy our ramblings.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Justine welcome back, Thank you for having me back.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
And the oranges out. We love to see it, always on,
always on.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I have orange trousers on that I wore the very
first time I met Justine, which was in her house
recording this podcast. Look at your three sixty right back
to the scene, right back, straightway.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Was that that's two years? It would be two years
in the summer. Yeah, good magie.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Hell and how's the dating going?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
How is the dating going? Well?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Because I'm trying to think what was my point at
that stage? I think I talked about Yeah, I remember
now it was a barbecue.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Okay, yeah, yeah, there was.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh, I was trying to have a hawker and somewhere
and being shut down left, right and center with it.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
And you were going to Bali and you were going
to go to Bali.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
You gave me like numbers and contacts for people for
travel and to get around.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Thank you for that.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yeah, because I had just been kind of lego going
to use job terminology over them, I was let go,
let go.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, I didn't want me back after the trial.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
A family barbecue, yeah, which is a hard one to
get away from because I'd had a few pints and
they knew that, and I've driven there.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I was like, well, I can't really go.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Oh my god, I.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Don't think I actually knew that you had drunk. And
then he ended it and then you had to continue
on in the family barbe yes, and where you slept there.
I stayed on the couch yet headed off on the
next morning. So he's still is he still girls somewhere?
Still no bother, he's reticatable.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, but yeah, So that is the last time that
we talked.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Where my day life was at. I was going off
to Bali and I was just going to do my
own thing, and that all went absolutely lovely. I had
a great time out there. And fast forward two years
and very little stane. Yeah, I though. The one thing
I'll say is like, I'm probably not. I took a
break there after.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh Jesus, last thing ended. I just did not go
back on to apps, and I haven't been back on apps.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
How long ago is that now? Ah? The summer? Yeah, August,
you're on no apps? Yeah, well fucking up in September. Yeah,
so nothing at all, no Raya. I was on RAA
and then I got.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Chatting someone on Raya in September and then I just
was off of all apps, not that that led to
any day. Well I did. I mean I did because
I was like, I'm not really using this anyway, because
I tell you, Raya is not the type of person
I got lucky with one person that was normal with
vast major are enough type that I'll be going for
because it's just lads who don't want socks and they're

(04:04):
in business suits and.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Their job description is inherited wealth like that? What's my god? Like,
it's it's insane.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
Sorry, what did they type that in the type? That
type that that was their job description? How do you
get invited to rail? Like?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
I actually thought it was famous people, but there doesn't.
Lewis Capaldi came up, but he didn't swipe on me.
I did. I didn't expect him to because he's not
there looking for me. He's looking for actual celebrities, you know,
he's looking for.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Who else has come up?

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Put Mescal back in the day came up, Yeah, Hosier
came up back in the day.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, but there's different.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
You can be on it and say you're dating or
you can do it's kind of like an ode to
Bibo in my mind, where it says just looking for friends,
because I was thinking, you remember the Bible things were
it used to be, like, it's complicated.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
They're not looking for friends. Who's that? That's the thing.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
What they're basically saying is they're look at it will
be a little fleeing maybe not looking for.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
It, like I'm cheating on my girlfriend here actually, but
I'm going to put down that I'm looking for friends.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
So if she ever finds his account, I can be like, but.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
I think it might be because I'm not going to
loop a Hosier or you know, I wouldn't put him
into that category at all.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
He seems like the loveliest man.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I've never spoken to him, but I imagine what happens is
maybe if you're traveling like someone at his level in
another country, that's like, I wonder if there's actually people
that I might know from home that might be around
to be like he's about let's have though I can't
remember it, actually I don't think so, but people that
have that, I'm like, it's a bit strange because I

(05:37):
have enough friends, too many friends. I can't keep up
anymore with the amount of birthdays, weddings, hens all of us.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's expensive, so.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
You never had a fucking thirtieth.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
In the end, I didn't, and I think about that
maybe once a week, and the more I've gone to
like a few thirtieth since, and I'm like, it could
have been me, because last summer I was going to
have one as a delay thirty and then I ended
up going to the Fringe festival, so I didn't get it.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
But I still think about. I think I might have
a summer party this year. I'd loved it. My plan
was to like rent out a football field.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Or like that.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah, and I'd get a bouncy castle because that's the
one thing I've always wanted and I've never been able
to have because my birthday is in January that you
just can't have a bouncy castle.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Are you going to label this as Justine's thirty first
and a half birthday or anything? Would I do that?
Or I'd be like the delayed thirtieth. Maybe thirty first
and a half.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Is funny, it's not even actual birthday. It's in the summers,
in the summer, and I'd get a few kegs maybe
and a barbecue. Do I'll rewrite the barbecue. I'll have
had a good fucking end into my bow.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
This is hilarious that like at the time I was
going to the Philip at the exact same time, you
were like, oh, this is the only weekend that works,
And I was like, Justine, it's the only weekend. I
fucking I couldn't do it then, how could I? Yeah,
two years later talk about for thirtieth.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
The interesting thing like when I I just honestly couldn't
go back onto APPS.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
I was like, I can't do it anymore. It's just
it was so destroying.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
But weirdly, I've met more people that have been like
interested or that reached out to me in dms and
stuff from meeting them in person.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
So you meet them at like what like through a friend, Yeah,
through a friend or like a gig or stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
And I've had not that I've gone on dating to them.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
But if a lot more people do that just in
the wild, which has been to me, it seems more natural,
which is annoying that well, but it definitely is more natural,
I suppose.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
But why aren't they That's funny that they're waiting until
you go home and then they slide into the DM.
They obviously find that more comfortable than actually saying anything
to your face.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
But I understand that because you know, I think apps
have made us more used to that process anyway, that
there's a safety net of it there, as opposed to
instant yes or no possible rejection in front of my face.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Did you reject them?

Speaker 2 (07:58):
How'd you get on? I wasn't.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
I wasn't at the time really even lucking to go
on a date with people that I was just like,
this isn't a th right time for me now, And
also that there was one that would be in like
similar circles that I was like, I don't think I'd
hate for this set end badly and make it weird
in the future, for the fact that wait, yeah, for

(08:22):
the fact that we're like you let them down, Justine.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Give us a crash course, oh no, text, I'll be
the man, okay, Justine, Okay, I'd be like, hello, I
I think you're great, and I had great cracketa and
I'm really humble that you've been asked me.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
But I just don't think it would be a good
idea because we're in similar circles and I'd hate for
it to ever be weird between us and I think
a great cark and hope to see again.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
So that's nice.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
I think that would be perceived well I hope, so yeah, yeah,
well I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Blocked and they've messaged me since all as friends. So
I'm like, cool, love that.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Because it's yeah, And I was like genuinely flattered to
even be asked.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
I was like, mother, re good, but just I was like,
I'm not. I don't think this. I just I've done
in the past, you know that whole thing. I don't
shit where you eat, and it's just doesn't end well.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
It's never good and it makes it weird going to
things and you're mixing some reserves.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
It's just fucking not worth it.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
And you're on the road like horses shit you are,
You're fucking out there at the gigs. You're every time
I look at your page, you're they're going to something.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Else somewhere again, she's off, she's yourself anyway, So it's
just not worth No, I just.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
As well find it weird with apps.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
I've just always found it difficult to people knowing who
you are or pretending they don't know who you are.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
I'm e thinking, grant they don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
I love that, And then you wonder They're like, no,
I didn't know who you are, and I fucking hate that.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
It just bothers me.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
I'm like, God, just feels like there's a.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Power imbalance or something like I know a load about you.
Actually you know about me.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
And I've been why to your video.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's actually.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Challenging wand to some of them, oh winking to creepy uncle,
I would have got a pass.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
And just there.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
There's definitely an audience for it somewhere.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
But you like, I'm that matchmaking stuff that I do.
A few fellas have been like, oh, I'd love to
be set up with your friend Justine, and I'm like,
mother of the god world, would I do that to
her for fake?

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Because that's that's because we we're talking at one point
and I was like, I don't know if I was
like on the afterword, but then suggested to me going
to speed dating, and I went to it, and mother
of god, you know, I wanted to an open minded
and I was like, look, if nothing else, I might

(10:47):
get a bit of a comedy routine out of this
at the very least. Good Lord, it was an eye opener.
I don't think I respect people. I respect people who
do that frequently because a girl came up to me
like I think I know you from the internet, and
then it was like, oh this, like I come to
this every month.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah. A lot of people obviously have been on the
apps for so long and then they're like, no, fuck this,
I'm gonna make a real go at this in person. Yeah,
dating and make like just trying to do it the
real way again, like it is, it can be quite
awkward to go into a singles night where there is
no format, like it's just a lot of single people

(11:21):
in a room completely and it's up to you then
to be bopping around and mingling.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, it's a lot.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
And especially if you're going around and that there was
a person there, there was multiple people that are on
their own, I'm like, fucking fair Pladia. I could not
do that. I will struggle. And these are people doing
this regularly. I'm like, what how I'm an awe fucking
fair play to them, complete kind of person has Like
I'd love a fraction of that confidence now. I tell
people all the time, go you know, if you want

(11:49):
to go on your own, if you don't have anybody
to go with, fuck it, Like, go on, you'll meet
other people.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Who are there? And that's the thing.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
Yeah, completely, and like that person that going to me,
I was like, we can probably go around with the
night together if you want, you know, you'd be happy
to do that.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
That one that we went to that was actually a
single night, and then they had a mini speed dating upstairs. Yes,
so that was do you kind of. It wasn't like
a proper speed dating event where I think you'd have
longer time.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
And that's why I was wondering because was that a
minute or two minutes you had? And I was like
two minutes. All that I have to say in that
time for each person was God, isn't this mad?

Speaker 2 (12:23):
I've never done it? Like a fourth that's one minute gone?
All right, I'm going And then it's what's your name?
What's your name? What do you do? What do you do?
And then God love? There was a doublin bus driver
and I was like, what route is your number? And
like do you like it?

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Now?

Speaker 3 (12:36):
When people say thank you?

Speaker 2 (12:39):
I have nothing? It was the biggest sweetheart.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
And then I saw months later on the boat and
I was like, I'm not going to say it, but
I was like, I remember your eyes?

Speaker 2 (12:48):
What really was it?

Speaker 4 (12:49):
God?

Speaker 3 (12:49):
I can't remember one, four or five, the one out
to Donnybrook Where were you go?

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Liked this shit, but but the rain The thing I
found weird or like bizarre was it was all ages,
because it would be one time you'd be like talking
to someone who was like similar age, and then there
was like a Latina sixties there up, So.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Fucking wasn't in the sixties. Just but I do think
that they lie about their age because they want to
add on to it. Okay, now they.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Do fucking singles nights for all ages or whatever like
that probably was I would say, maybe thirty to forty,
and then it's kind of like, you know, people twenty
eight in his fifties, they definitely do like, they definitely
do like and they're like, no I want a young
or young yeah, Like it's the same loads of fellas

(13:43):
like older men. Where did I see? If somebody sent
me in a story, Actually, she had tried to be
set up with this matchmaking agency for a coffee date.
She ended up filling in all of her details and
then she didn't follow through with it, but her details
went through anyway, okay, and then this man had actually
she got paired with this man and it turns out
that the man had actually paid about two hundred yuro

(14:06):
for a subscription to this agency, and she ended up
getting master to them. And she looked at his details
and her details and they were totally wrong. And she
is in her late forties. He was in his early fifties,
and on his thing, he said, would love to meet
a woman and start a family, And she said on
hers she said that I already have three children.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
My family has done. I obviously will not have that.
Ye done.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
And then she was like, well, him, he's in his
early fifties looking to start a family now, okay, whatever,
each each to their own now, but he's obviously looking
for a young woman to do that because yeah, But anyway,
she ended up making this big fucking sent big email
off anyway to say, like this is a joke, you know,
did you even read exactly? And he said looking for

(14:54):
a nice, slim, fit woman, right, So he said this
as well that she was like, now, she's lovely looking woman.
I actually I but she was saying that, like she
has lipadema, you know that, yes, And she said, although
I was very slim for most of my life in
recent years, now the lipidema whatever has caused issues, and
she said, I think she was a syed sixteen and

(15:14):
you know, so she's like, I'm gonna fucking turn up
on this date and he'll be looking at and you're like,
I've often I've gone on dates and I'd be like, yeah,
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
Are you that happy with me?

Speaker 1 (15:26):
I don't know, you know, normally wants to fuck walk
into a date yeah, and have a fellow give them
this look of oh, you know, if you weren't really
what I was.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Expected actually do with someone like that. Do they see
pictures beforehand?

Speaker 2 (15:39):
No, they didn't. Not in this that's so.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
Interesting because like you know, I think a lot of
people are getting sick at apps and looking at other
alternatives and something like that is really interesting to be like, well,
like whenever.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
About that one.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
But like you would like to think they're properly pairing
people that they think, I actually think this could be
a match.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
So she thought, because she had never actually paid for
the date, she had just sent in her form, that
they're struggling so much for women or whatever that they said, right,
we'll just set him up with her, because he had
paid and they needed to set him up on a date,
and this they went with somebody that he didn't want

(16:19):
and somebody that she didn't want.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Where it's funny it's the opposite I think they find
with first dates. I'd been asked to do that too.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
I got no because I think, first off, it's not
going to be a real authentic date in my mind,
because I'm not going to be able to curse, and
I have no filter when it comes to that that.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm like, I want to be able to because I've
been on dates with people who are like, I don't
like your vulgar language, and I'm like.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
All right, well, you know this is I speak. I'm
not like you know, you know, that's just who I am,
and I want to.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Be I don't like, You're like, okay, only on a
day here, you don't have to.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Mind me completely, you know. And I'm like, I want
to be at ease and natural about it. And I
think would the show like that, I'd be going and
be like, well, I can't really be completely at ease here.
And I'm also like conscious of I've been filmed eating
never mind me eating in front of you alone?

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Is you know, awkward enough? Awkward enough? Never mind cameras everywhere,
and I just also I loove that show. I watched
the Door. I would worry.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
You'd be like the comedy and I worry that would
be the case that they'd be like, this isn't going
to be a serious setup job.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
It's more so this will be a funny, which you know,
they did.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Reassure me because I'd raise these concerns with them and
they did reassure me. And I do know there's there's
definitely a difference between the Irish versus the UK show,
Like I do think there's one really do try to
match people more so than other versions of it. But
I still was like, I don't think this is how
I want to find someone.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
And also I was like, my parents would be traumatized
see that. Yeah, I'll be not good.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
But I do know that time they're like they always
struggle to find men to do it. Women are more
open to doing that on on paper than men are.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
I find that.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
So it's interesting in the comparison of they were struggling
find a woman.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
For that man. Yeah that singles night. I'm trying to
remember now.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
The setup was a bother to me because it was
like have your dates upstairs and if you want to
talk to them, go downstairs, right, But you had to
go downstairs to get your coat, and I was like,
I need to go home. I was like, I was
dying of a flu. I'm always I always have a flu.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
And I was like, I need to get my coat.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
But sure in the meantime, in the fucking time, I'm
trying to get the coat. There was two that come
oportably been like I'd had a lovely time. I was like, no,
because I don't want to. I don't let you down
because I'm not.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yea. And then they were following you on the end
of on Instagram yeah, because they're like, oh. I was like, well,
this is my Instagram? Oh yes, Oh my god. When
he was he was a photographer and Instagram you want
to show me the stuff. And then he was like, oh,
what's your Instagram?

Speaker 3 (18:56):
Was like, oh no, because I hadn't mentioned did I
do anything?

Speaker 2 (19:00):
So hope pay How many followers is it?

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Like?

Speaker 6 (19:05):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (19:05):
At that stage you would have been like one hundreds
and ninety. I'd say, oh Jesus God, look are there
people here that would know? You never know? You never
know who will know.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
There was a weird fellaw that oh my god, we
were going on holiday or something.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
You were going on holiday.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
I was away the next day and he was like,
you're not bring me with you? Like, why would I
be bringing you on holiday? I only just met you.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
But it wasn't like you would say that.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
And I either like, oh, funny, ha joke, let's move on,
and I think he was serious. It was like, it
just seems a bit rude. I'm like, what did you say?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Then when he got over to me and he was like, oh,
is that your friend? She's going to wherever? You thought?

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Did he say it was really dangerous?

Speaker 3 (19:51):
He was just thing was very fucking weird, bizarre, bizarre energy.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
I was like, how do you think you're going to
get a date? Yeah you can.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
It's I suppose you just need to sift through the
fucking weirdos, just like an app.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Obsolutely the people from.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
The apps are in real life as well. Yes, exactly that.
But it was it was a fun thing to do.
I don't think I'll ever do it again. I don't
think it's made.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
It really wouldn't suit me, Like no, no, no, no,
you're off the apps. I'm off the apps, off the
date and scene there you're just waiting for fellows slide
into the DMS and then yeah, that's pretty much how
I've found it out. I just I got too sick.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Of the same thing over and over again with apps
and just.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
The same conversations as does everyone like. You know, it's
not as if I'm unique in that experience, but just like.

Speaker 6 (20:34):
I can't keep going on dates that then going nowhere
or the lad just as like, because I think that's
the problem I find is like people don't view you
really in the moment as I'm on a date with
this person that like in the back of their head.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
God, I wonderful it's swiped a few more times who
I'd be on a date with. You know, there's no
one really committed.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Into things because they're like, oh well, it's not really
that serious because if this doesn't workout, sre, I'll just
fucking find someone else.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
I hate thatsh mentality. I remember there was this fellow
I was seeing.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Actually I had just broken up with my boyfriend in
the April.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
This was twenty twenty twenty one.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
April twenty twenty one, I broke up with my long
term boyfriend and then I started dating, going on Tinder
and whatever. In July, and then at the end of
August I ended up going on a date with the
fella and I deleted my acts and everything. We were
seeing each other for two months. He never deleted his apps. Yeah,
I didn't want to broach the subject with him because
I felt like a fucking needy widow. And then in

(21:29):
the end, he actually started slowly ghosting me before I
called him out on it, and we had an hour
and a half long phone call where he said, oh,
I'm sorry, you know, I just yeah, I wasn't really
feeling it. And then all my lad friends were telling
me like, well, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Like everything seems perfect and he's like, oh, I know,
I'm just just not feeling it. I was like, okay,

(21:50):
all right, whatever, now the conversation and.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
You'd fucking get you to make him feel better. Also,
by the way, like you're the one who ended up
with me, you pray.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
He's such a fucking aged actually that, Like I don't
know why I was so accepting of this, Like I
was like, yes, this will be my next boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
And all he ever wanted to do on our dates was.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Go to the public watch a match. Yeah, but like
I was like, this is fine. I was fucking what
age was I twenty eight in twenty twenty one, Like
you should be I should have had more sense now. Luckily, Justine,
the fifty five first dates that I went on really
hardened me, and every date I went on made me
stronger want better for my Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
I think that's the growth I've had in the last year,
hugely because I was bad.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I mean, broken by a man I never should have
been broken by, but that could be anyone.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
There's so many people that fall into that category, not
given any identity away. But it really made me re
evaluate my standards and like what I should be accepting now.
That's still progress ongoing, but it's definitely not as bad
as it was, and I think I've definitely gotten better.
I've been like pulling the plug on stuff to be
like this isn't what I want. And you know, I

(23:06):
had been seeing someone recently where I actually vocalized, look,
it'd be nice if you know you sent me a
text in the morning and he's like, I'm not going
to do that, and I was like cool, cool, oh no,
But then I was like, look at that's not something
he's able to do, so I'm like, this isn't.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Going to work. What was his reasoning?

Speaker 3 (23:24):
There? Just not something that he's able to do, yeah,
which is like, okay, you know, but you know, I've
been really looking into a lot recently the whole attachment
style thing, and I am definitely and I'm trying to
work on it, definitely anxious attached.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Oh yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
This person was I would gather avoidant, and I think
I if you look back at my dating life, predominantly
all avoidance, and there's apparently like a trend in anxious
going for avoidant and then when they pull away, becoming
even more like, oh my god, oh my god, I need.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
To be accepted by this person.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, okay, fair, And I will say, but you know,
someone that I had did while work, now, when they
were in my opinion, I would say probably avoidant. When
they did decide it was over, I didn't fucking go insane.
That's the biggest progress I've ever seen in myself that
I was accepted it and I was pure, like I

(24:18):
fully understand and I did understand.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
If I haven't a bad word to say against that
person with a lovely.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Time that person there was a good bit of distance
between you also, do you find that that made it
easier because in person it wasn't that far away?

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah, well, I think it also made it harder because
it was like we didn't actually get to see each
other that often, which I think probably affected the.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Prospects of it anyway.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
But on the flip side, yeah, I know what you mean, Like,
it's not as if I'm walking.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Around would be like oh good, what everyone into them, you.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Know, or like you know, it's a quiet evening and
you're like, oh, maybe I'll just text some see if
they want to. Yeah, I do want to go out
and get some food. Do you want to go for
a pint or whatever? You can't do that.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
With him, Yeah, which is definitely a benefit.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
But in gen like, truly the progress of me in
a year from how badly affected I was by someone
in a very similar position, really, I guess not really
actually at all, but I was like proud of myself.
I really was, because like I didn't spiral, I didn't
go mad.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
I was like, I was sad.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
I was upset by it because I really liked that
of a symbol and fully accepted their decision and was
like cool, cool, and I didn't want it to be bad,
like and I still wanted to be like, you know what,
I think you're cool and fair play and I wish
all the best and we're on like it's not chatting around,
but like didn't good, Yeah, no, it's all good.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
I was like, well, and.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
If you need to reach out for whatever reason or
say good look and something like, you can do that
and it's not going to make you fucking go oh
my god.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Completely, yeah, completely, And that.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Is like something I am so proud of myself for
and shocked by because I genuinely would would have struggled
in the past, but it.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Wouldn't be unwarranted in a sense.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
There would have been things in the past, not with
that person, but at times where I was like, this is.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Insane, how little respective respects?

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Yeah, yeah, to yourself, Yeah, which then would make me
question maybe I never deserved respect, And then I saw
fucking torture.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
But like, yeah, it's it's I suppose that feeling. Is
it endorphins or whatever whatever you get when they do
something that you like or that is nice to you
and you're like, oh, thank you for that crumb, Yes,
and you're completely because it's such a compression.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
So minimal, it's like nothing.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
But to you, that's like this is amazing because it's
been nothing else from them. And I true like it's
fascinating the morerident, like anxiously attached and avoidant and the
style of it, And I'm like, yeah, I just need
to stay away from people that are avoidant.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
I need to find people.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
And if I look back at my history of people
that I've ended well with and that or the better
relationships I've been and it's people that are like secure,
attached or anxiously attached as which can why are they?

Speaker 1 (27:01):
I actually have a fellow coming on my podcast now,
so this is a good set up for it about
that Adam Laine Smith, who is the attachment theory specialist American.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
So jesus, but what are the other ones?

Speaker 1 (27:15):
So there's anxious and I would say that I'm probably anxious,
but I like, I desperately, desperately try to get a
grip on that. I think I know I've the more
I've been aware of it, the more I've tried to
be aware of that.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Port Now, come on.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Board.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Anxious, avoidant, secure, that's what's Yeah, there's very there's like anxiously.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
You know, there's like some categories in them. Yeah, yeah,
but they're the three main ones of that.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Ye, like who who do you have to be? Like
what kind of upbringing do you have to have to
be securely attached? Like who are these people? Are the
people that out yourself?

Speaker 3 (27:53):
But it's also like there's something that that was secure
attached in my opinion, but I think that didn't even go.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
It's predominantly that it's like from parents that.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
They gave you the right, Well things were not, but
for that person, I would gather it was actually the
siblings he had growing up. Yeah, that they were at
times probably more the you know, the main but did they.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Say that it was something like like if that your
mother was around, your mother didn't work, and that when
you cried somebody was there to hold you and make you.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
The thing what it is is kind of like anxious attachment,
is that when you were growing up that you didn't
always get the kind of love that you would have wanted,
so you kind of grew like, oh, I need to
cling onto it whenever I get it. I need I
need this person to kind of like me, where's avoidant
was that you were?

Speaker 2 (28:41):
If you were in need of love?

Speaker 3 (28:42):
As a child, you weren't actually given it, so that
you learned to be like, well, I need to be
okay on my own and never need love from anyone.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
So they're kind of the two.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
Contrasts in the child in the it's termed from the
exact same thing your man. There's def from the exact
same thing of wanting love, and it's just how you
reacted to not getting that. One became like I need
your approval and the other became I need to be
so independent that I don't need your approval.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
They're basically the two strains of it, and then they
then the one of them fucks up the other one
even more.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah, they know if you look at like tests and stuff,
it always says like it's like it's not very positive
outlook for an avoidant and anxiously attached together to be
together because they both are the opposite of one is
suffocating the one who's like I need to be independent,
and then the one who needs their validation won't give

(29:36):
them anything, okay, So.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Just the secure people then need to be with one
or the other.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Or you can have two avoidance together that will probably
be all right, or you can have two anxious together
that will probably be alright, more more positive outlook than
anxious and avoidant together.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Well, yeah, I can see that you're a man. I'm
gonna say that he was probably avoidant. He's probably avoidant
or he just didn't like me oh that much. But
did I tell you this that I got two missed
calls from him?

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (30:06):
So I was a child walking the dog about like
fuck when the focus this, I'm going to say November,
and I was out walking the dog and I looked
at my phone missed call from him and I was like,
whatsh Like.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
That's from the grave. Nearly. I feel like it was
something from that long ago was contacted Me'd.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Be like, what October twenty twenty one was the last
time I spoke to him? And then this was two
twenty four, the end of twenty four now actually since then,
sorry for for some period after that. He he went
dead for about six months, and he started like fire
emoging me for a short period a few months, and
then for the last couple of years, I have not
heard the people from him.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I'd actually muted his Instagram. I didn't.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
I just didn't want to see anything from him. But
I didn't have enough bad Blood to actually delete more
blackamore and things. So I was like, whatever, I just
don't want to see it, and yeah, so he rang
me then and I was like, hah, god butt.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Dial or whatever. That embarrassing for him when he sees that.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
And then a week later, I was out in fidelity,
looked at my phone miscalled from him and I turned
it around to the girl so that I was with,
and I was like, what the fuck is he ringing
me for?

Speaker 2 (31:16):
This is the fucking second time, insane a cold call.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
I made a TikTok right, and I just I was like,
this is just so weird.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Back from the grave. He used to watch your TikTok though,
didn't you know? He didn't.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
I don't even know if he has TikTok now, but
I haven't. Actually, I don't think I've ever mentioned him
on any of the tiktoks.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
No haven't.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
No, so like for him then I thought, maybe did
he did he see it and recognize me?

Speaker 2 (31:46):
But then to what ring me? And be like hello,
I saw you're a you.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Know, not a text slide up on Instagram? He's did
nothing and then one comment and I've been thinking about
it since. Is he ringing to say that he has
an STD.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Oh lord, I mean that what that's wild? That many
years later, like that would have been wild? Would you
not ring back that far? I don't know, but I
did that sh twenty fourth, you know that free thing again.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
I couldn't do it because I can't prick my own
I need to get cat into do it. I had
to go to the doctor in the end and pay,
even though that was free. I can't watch favorite. Oh
my god, Justine, I can't. I tried to pick my
prick my own finger, and then I have to wait
for Castrom to come over.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
She's a nurse. Yeah, and then she fucking repaired, but
she fucking went for I was like, I wasn't expected. No, no,
I can't. This is so faint now.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Come out into some thing.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yeah, no thought even even because I had it here
and I was like, this is doing not And I
was like, just don't have to.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Let to rip out me. No, no, thank you.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
But your buddy is going to try and start to
class us.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah. So then you're like, you'd have to really make
a good gash there. Yeah. I'm not into that at all.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
No, thank you.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
It's a great initiative anyway.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
Yeah, yes, I will happily pay my way twenty or
And it was so funny when it.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
He was like, you don't want to call from me.
If I call you it bad news.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
If I don't call you, you'll get an emails in
your grand And all week I was terrified of my
phone ringing because I was like, if it's him, I'm fucked.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
I'm fucked to have something. I was all clear. It
was the best news getting no news. What was this here?

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Agog there's actually a story in the Irish Times out
there last week about this girl who has HIV.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
And trying to like, oh is it refa oh chef
short short?

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I for comments. I think
she I saw her on Hearing show a couple years
ago and I fucking obsessed her.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
I just think it's amazing when she's soon and she's destigmatizing.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Yes, and also because from her perspective, and she would
have said this on the show, like the idea of
it's predominably a lot of times seen as a I
think that effects effects gay people, gay people, And the
whole thing was for her that she also got a
false negative when she was in Australia.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
That's where she got diagnosed, and she had a false
negative and her now in the iritime thing that I
was reading.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
They had had.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Unprotected sex for the first time that week by chance,
also the same week that they both went to get
an STD test done and then he came back positive
and hers was negative. So then she thought that she
was fine. Yeah, because but obviously it hadn't developed developed

(34:30):
and then at that stage, yeah, when did she get
false negative?

Speaker 2 (34:33):
As that's yeah, at that time.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
But I just think it's gray what she's doing for
a raisin aares of it, and also because to destigmatize
it in the way that it's you know, you can
live with this, it's not this thing that people viewed
so negatively in the past, is like, oh, I can't
really be in the same room as that person, but insane.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I remember watching a documentary about in the ads that were.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
Even on TV about it was like horrific to see
like how they viewed people with it.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
So it's my uncle. He died.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
He had HIV, him and his partner and they ended
up he ended up getting cancer. But then if you
already have HIV, this would have been in he died
when I was about one, so this would have been
and you got it then, like and you got anything
else you were Basically it's a death sentence. God God
rest them he which I basically the two of them
became hermits then because.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Of you know the unlook people. Oh yeah, that's the
thing that I was. They didn't give fuck the the
ads everything. Oh Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
I think the decumentary I think is called can I
Tell You a Secret? I think this is it's an
Irish Yet she's not in that now. Robbie Lowler is
a guy and who was amazing the work he does
for HIV. Or when I saw her on the top
of her show and I was like a message her
and I was like, I think it's fantastic what you're doing. Yeah, no,
she's and I saw her there recently promoting again, but

(35:59):
I think it's for HIV. There's like a week awareness week.
I think her sorry promoting it.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
But then I was looking at that, and then when
I was reading the article and then I was like again,
I fucking went back into my head.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
What if he was ringing me to tell me that
he had HIV. That's where I swear to God that's
where it goes now all the time? Wow, But would
he how far back you meant to be ringing these partners?

Speaker 6 (36:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (36:21):
I really think you're jumping the wild there now to conclusions.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
It was the only thing that made sense. Nothing else
made sense to me. But why he would be ringing
the time to day? Was it six pm? And did
he ever text staff from that? So sorry? After the
second call, I blocked him.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
So the first call, I thought, but dial potentially he
might text to say sorry, sorry about that. Yeah, and
I'd be like, hah, grant, no hassle. But then the
second call a week later, and I thought, I actually
and then I showed showed my boyfriend. Then obviously I
was getting I was like, I'm a suspicious individual. Anyway.

(36:59):
I was like, a listen, look at these here. I
have not talked to him in the years, so right,
And he was like it's fine, Yeah, it's very weird,
Like he's he's bless him, he's so right in the head.
Whereas if you know, if if I was looking at
him and he was getting these calls, missed calls or
whatever from oh.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
He must have been in a hostile situation that last
I'm during we oh, it's so weird. But anyway, he's
blocked now and everything blockle.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
Bizarre move like that many years later but again yeah
you put off as yeah, fucking pocket or whatever.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
But the next week, three years later, it's like a
cold call. Always come back, they all it's come back.
Life must be actually, don't.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
I ended up get a few messages, so there was
a couple of comments or whatever, and like, I'm not
trying to say here, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
It was just weird.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
A few girls message me being like, girl, he's just
looking for the ride, don't think too much into it,
like and it's kind of like I wasn't I'm saying
I said, if he was looking for the right he
would have been at me on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
He would have yeah like a fire emoji.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
That that was his modus operandi. Like he could have
just gone in with that. You don't ring somebody like
sixty yeah, hello, do you want to go down to
the cafe on me? He wasn't going to ring me
and try and swoop back in with a phone call
like he's fucking thirty two.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
That's just yeah. So I wasn't saying.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Here, oh look look at me, Look at this man
trying to get I just think it's really, really weird
and there's no way. That's why the fucking STV thing
was the only thing that I could think of.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
But we'll never know, never know. You will never know,
never know.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
If you're listening to this, I know you can't contact me,
but you can contact Justine there.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Give her the answer. I have a few Oh, I
have a few things here, Justine.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Would you be into giving people some advice?

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (39:00):
I mean, I take him to pinch of salt because
I'm hardly want to look up to when I am
very much not in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
So dating advice to Justine Stafford. I'll start you off
and sorry in advance. Well a small one, nice and easy. Great.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
I brought my son to the barbers today and when
we went in, there was a guy getting his haircut.
He was one hundred percent of my type. I know
nothing about him, though, and whether he's single or not.
I am so sick of the apps. I would love
to ask the barber for his name, et cetera. But
is this too cheeky? Maybe I've just been single for
far too long.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Is he a regular there? Okay? Because I'll be honest. Now,
I did make a move on someone that was a
regular in a place and we went out for a
few days. So this has go a few years ago now, agough.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
But if it's odd if you do it, if you
just saw him right there and that's the first time
you've seen him, that's a bit too keen and also
from his perspective possibly like mother God, Yeah, if you
see him there again, that's your sign do it. That's
what I'd leave that to faith. That would be me, though,
That'd just be me.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
What would you say though, Like you'd be like hello,
how No, I'd never, I could never.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
I'd have to ask the barber. I reckon, Yeah, this
is what I do. I'd ask the barber is here regular?

Speaker 2 (40:17):
You know?

Speaker 3 (40:17):
And then be like, oh, I mean if he's back
into you, you know, let him know I'm I'm available
if you say that, And I would really be putting
trust in this barber, Like if you think he'd be
interested and has he a woman has her partner, what's
going on? And if if all signs are goal, thunderboards
are goal, then you drop in, well, I know little

(40:38):
someone very good.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
That's how I would do.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
You need to make I need that barber wingman, the.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Ship out of that bar the barber barber man.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
I yeah, may give me some PTSD there quickly, I
me and Katcham went out to debits of all places.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
This was oh but you know, it's definitely wintertime.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
So I'm going to say it was over a year ago,
maybe a year and a half. Got ish, but this.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Fellow came over.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Me and Catron were trying to take a healthy and
then this fellow came over and he was asking to
want me to take a picture of you, and then
he stayed, and I felt that there was something going on.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, chemist true.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Anyway, obviously not justine, because I wrote my phone number
on a beer mat and I gave it to Catherine
to give to him and I ran out the door ahead.
And anyway, he never he never rang and he never texts.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
And I tell you that was the last time I
ever did that.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
Just stay fuck my life, I know.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
But it's such a cool move. It's such a cool move.
Why was he hanging around for so long? It's a
strange one now.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
And then as I was walking out the door, the
friends were like, I was like, you know, stuff, fucking hell,
really would put you off.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
Everything I know, But it's such a cool man. Fellas
do it all the time. Let's put themselves out there.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Yeah, I know, I know. I couldn't be a man.
I would not survive out there.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
I think it's pints give me the confidence to do
things like that.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
I couldn't do it sober.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah, imagine all the fear you'd have though, remembering all
the people that you tried when you were drunk and
you were rejected.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
Fucking life is tough. Just in it's tough.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
Next one. No judgmental might ignore that I'm only looking
for advice. It's just how I'm feeling. I've been dating
a lovely guy for a few weeks. He's an absolute
gentleman and taking all the green flag boxes. The only
thing that I'm sure about is is height. I'm tiny,
and when I have heels on eye level with him.
I'm so used to tall men. I married one and

(42:49):
have only ever dated tall men. Well, it wouldn't be
hard to be taller than me anyway. How do others
that are small feel about dating small men? How do
I get past this? Am I just being silly?

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (43:01):
I can't come fromise from the angle of being small.
I mean, I'm five six, which is kind of an
average height, I guess. But I have dated guys the
same height and younger than me. But I'm not saying younger.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
And sorry, and shorter than me.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
I've never dated anyone younger than me. I don't know
what that's about. But sorry, same height or shorter than me.
But I've never had a thing about height in the
sense of like, I don't need a guy to be taller.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
That's good, justine, that's really good. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah,
thank you. I just don't know. And a pocket rocket
you love to see them. They're great.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
It's great when you don't have the heels at times
I don't have to wear them. But yeah, I don't
know advice wise what to say on this. If you're
not if you're more used to being with someone that's taller,
it's hard to.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Tell yourself you don't want yeah, yeah, but you can
surprise yourself, like I do hate it that, Like.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Wait, so I'm five foot four, and I always said, look,
I'm happy enough if they're just a bit taller, like
an inch or two taller, I'm happy enough with that.
Like I'm very short, I'm not going to take I'm
not going to be like, no, it has to be
over six foot yeah, And like I have female friends
who will only date over six yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
It's wild that to me, Like, I mean, it's just preferences.
But I've never I don't get it.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
In the end, I think God was happy with me
that I was such equal opportunities dat or in terms
of height.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Yeah, that he he said, here you go, you can
have this six foot one man. Now you've put in
the work, you put in the hours. This is your old.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
But the thing that I get with all guys is like,
actually it's more hassled nearly than that. And I'm like, God,
even trying to whisper to you in a big space
when I have a bit of gossip, you really have
to creak your neck down and get the juicy gas
off me, or.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Even give me a shift.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
You can't get up there.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
I can't get up there. Let the step.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
You're five foot six, five foot six. You always give
such an illusion of being I always think of you
as being tall.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
That means so much, thank you. I wish I was taller.
I don't know what that says. Oh God, I wish.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
I was tall, life is easier.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
I think taller like clothes and everything and just seeing at.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Gigs, seeing at gigs.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Yeah, but I do think there's tall women that will
tell you, like men mot ate them.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Like what were you? What are you considering tall now?
Like five foot nine?

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Oh yeah, I'd love to be five five ten, like
yeahs Bloody would love that.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
And now I don't know why. Well, I think like
save the tall men for the tall women, like yeah, there.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
You go, yeah, there you go. I mean this person
saying the third shorter you know what?

Speaker 1 (45:41):
Sorry, isn't she saying there that he's taken all the
green flag boxes and the only the only bad thing.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
I think that might be possibly as well, your brain
looking for a fault. I love to Bloody Doude that
at times when I'm with someone that I'm like, everything's great, okay,
I need self sabotage.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
And I'm trying to retrain my brain there.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
I think, possibly easy on yourself and you know, be
kind and think, you know what, I don't need to
find a fault here, and you don't have to creak
your neck. You're not going to get sore from shifting.
You have to wear your heels, you can wear flats.
You can borrow each other's shoes to borrow runners going
down to the shop sexercise.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
I never let them. They don't even look topic size
eight for him for a fella.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Yeah, I'm trying to think now, Like actually one of
my friends, one of the girls, her fella, but I
don't buy on the clothes grant, Yeah, I just never
borrowing the shoes. But her fella is like the same
height as her and I never noticed it. She made
a joke about fox sake, I wanted to wear these

(46:55):
shoes and I was like why.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
She was like she would the same height.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
I'm going to be like tower and over and I
was like, never noticed, Yeah, yeah, but you. Then I
went to a win win anex it was shorter like
when I was in the heels, I was taller.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
I gives a shit, Like it didn't bother me. Doing
was like, oh, I like we got a photo where.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
I just went down on my ankle to be like, okay,
the just other phones, we're not like that at all.
It doesn't It just doesn't bother me at all. But
I do get for some people it.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Is a factor.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
But just try and maybe go easy on it if
because it's rare to find someone that's ticking all the
green flag boxes.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
You're ticking all those other boxes.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
I just think as well, like one of the girls,
she always says things she makes a joke about, like,
you know, once six foot six one six two sixty
three man, you know, to climb them like a tree.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
You know, everybody loves a big tall man.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
But I think if all these women are on hinge
and whatever and they're left swiping on these good men
and they're only hunting for this small pool of really
tall men, but like all these good men are being disregarded.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
I fully agree with you, and I think it's very
upsetting because I know wonderful and I've had excess that
were wonderful people that were shorter, and we'd talk about
the fact that a lot of the time they wouldn't
get a lot of interest from women because they weren't taller.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
And like that's mental to me, that's that's sad. But
there's the thing.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
You can pick up a wonderful guy and he's going
to be slept on by a lot of other people.
They're not going to even look at him because he
doesn't take a HiPE box. You're going to pick up
a gem here exactly need to go. Yeah, if you
actually pay for hinge, you can put in so put
in maximum height.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Yeah like five nine.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Yeah, oh you're swimming. Somebody good in there and that's it.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
You heard it your first girls?

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Match was a guy a week ago, had three dates,
with the last one being last night. Got on really
well and fucking flatter great wig.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
I love to see it.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
I respect the kissed a few times, but today I
feel he has no interest in chatting at all.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
So I just go because I feel.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
If someone has no interest after a week, there's no
point or am I overreacting?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Well, I don't know the ins and outs and what
the dates were like. Was the first date a cinema
or was it a meal?

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Like?

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Was the chat flowing NonStop?

Speaker 3 (49:15):
And suddenly now would hit a brick wall because I'll
say something if it's only been a week, he might
just be at a point of like, well, nothing new
has happened.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
In our lives.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
We've seen each other frequently in the last week that
I don't actually know what to say, so I wouldn't
run it out fully. But I do get what you mean,
because you want early days to be like firefirewers that
it's NonStop, we have everything to talk about.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
But if they got three dates in a week, I
am going to say that that is some intense pressure
environment there that there obviously was a lot of like
oh my god, I really like you, I really want
to see again this Yeah, And I wonder sometimes, then
do men do that really push for more dates in
a week so they can get to maybe the three

(49:57):
date mark and get the ride. And I wondered, then
if she's saying she kissed on the third date and
didn't get anything else, is he kind.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
Of like, ah, fuck this one now, you're not shouldn't
write me?

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (50:11):
We need more, Yeah, more info required for what the
dates entailed.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I've been messaging this guy for a couple of weeks.
His messages, his message replies are short and not very engaging.
And I did mention this at the start that he
didn't seem that interested, but he said.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
He was and he was just tired.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
He asked for my number as he isn't on the
app much, and after about four days chatting trying to
get to know one another, I gave it to him.
He rang, but I couldn't answer. Then I rang him
another night and he didn't answer, said he missed my
call and wasn't in a chatting mood.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Fair enough, I can be like that too.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
He's gone on holidays this week and unless I message him,
then I don't hear from him, and when I do,
it's not very engaging. I feel like I'm wasting my time.
But if he's not interested, why doesn't he just cut it?
We haven't met yet, so no hard feelings. Part of
me feels he is shy, but the conversation is just
so fucking dry, like blood from a stone dry. The
only thing keeping me is that he is physically good looking,

(51:05):
and that's being honest. Should I just cut it or
give him a chance for when he gets back from
holidays and see if there's more effort? As you can
tell I talk the hide light is off it dunk
donkey hell.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
Now, I don't know if this is definitely the case
going on here, but I've seen this before. Or a
guy doesn't want to have to be the one to
end it. I've seen this before with lads where they
don't want to end it, so they just make it
so so dry because they want.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
You to end it because they don't want to be
the one to do that.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
That's happened to me before, and I've ended up in
a scenario multiple times. So there could be that going on,
that could be what he's doing. But I find it
insane because it drives me demented, and I'm sure it's
driving this person demented, thinking what the hell, like why
they won't even talk to me, and why you even
bothering your whole replying with three words.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
If you're not interested?

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Now the fact they're on holiday and they're not messaging
you actively, I'm like, well, if you're on holiday, I
imagine you're probably busy.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
And you've never met this person.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
Yeah, I'd be like sending a bit an you want
to put heat under his fire or fire under him
to be like, you know, when you get home, either
decide if you want to meet me.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Or not, Like, yeah, you have to, That's what I
realized in hindsight, to be like you have.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
To be a bit like stop giving them fucking all
the freedom and leeway and like control and the thing
you bloody put it down in a text to him,
to be like, look, when you get back.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
If you want to meet or you don't.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
I just but I think in that she's after giving
them enough there, So like, what has she said to me?

Speaker 2 (52:42):
She said, Actually, just fucking end it now. I get.
I get what you mean.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
It's you know, you find him physically attractive, but if
that might give him the wake up call he needs
to then come home.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Be like, fuck, I should have been way more on this.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
I just said Joe that saying, like girls, you know
when they're asking for advice, and I'm always just like,
before you ask for advice, think about the saying if
he likes me, I'll know, and if he doesn't, I'll
feel confused. Yeah yeah, yeah, you're like making trying to
make sure what does this mean and why is he

(53:19):
doing this? And what the fucking I truly I won't
even I would just not talk to them ever again.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Fucking leave him off. Yeah, go for a short man, yeah,
honest to god.

Speaker 7 (53:31):
But the sad thing is as well about short men
that they genuinely sometimes are like so grateful that someone's
interested in because they've been made to feel as though
no one will want them because they're short.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
And that breaks my fucking heart.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Yeah, bless them breaks It's not right they can't even
wear a little They can't wear a little hell, they
can't wear a little platform. They can't do anything. Though,
last two guys I've dated have had problems finishing, and
I'm beginning to worry it's a direct reflection on me
or something that I am doing.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Why was it?

Speaker 1 (54:02):
I was in a long term relationship for a decade
before this and it wasn't a problem there.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
How common is it? Or have I lost my touch?
I'll tell you now, it's not. It's not anything to
do with you. Get that out of your head immediately.
It's absolutely not to do with you. It is very common.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
And I don't know the age of these people, but
age will be a factor.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
Health, lifestyle, fitness, all that will be a factor.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Mental health, mentally factor. If you're not horny, you're not healthy.
Oh do you make that up?

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Time?

Speaker 2 (54:32):
No, I read it.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
That's facts, though, Like I've never seen that this was
a healthy fitness in structure would put this out?

Speaker 2 (54:38):
He said?

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Number one, BMI is wildly inaccurate. And number two, if
you're not healthy, if you're not healthy, think about that though.
Will I be mentally unwell? No will be though no
interest I've been with people no one interested to being
near of them.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
There's actually a bit of truth in that.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Yeah, fair, okay, Well, obviously exclude not anybody who's actually
like a sexual or whatever. But if you usually do
feel how something's change somethings off.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Then also men and porn and a lot of men.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
Sensitization has affected hugely and that's caused a lot of
issues with erections and people being able to finish hugely.
And I've I was seeing someone for a while who
would speak about that and say it it corrupted.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
His brain, really m.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Jesus.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
But biagra has become such a common thing as well,
that like it's now over the counter and people in
their thirties that I know of not use it, that
it has become a common problem.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
It's like the common problem, like they're using it because
of mutching too much porn and they're not being able
to get up.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
I don't know about not the porn, like, but just yeah,
that they're that.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
It's mad, isn't it like when you were grown up
and you heard about viagra and you were like, ah,
yes for really old people who want to write.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
But now it's it's like I know and it's great
because I think it's for men can be very embarrassing.
I imagine, you know, for them to ever seek it
and to have it available, like it's it's for men
to talk about that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Now, I'm maybe.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Too much of an open book or like, you know,
if I was with someone who was struggling, I would
be like, let's talk about it. Not in the sense
of like, God, am I the problem, but like as in,
you don't need to feel don't feel weird about this, I.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Don't feel worried. There's no pressure for me to like
have to finish or to have to keep going like that.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
I would just want someone to feel completely comfortable about that,
and I would like to or hope that that would
actually also help them in some way.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
I think it probably would because I'd imagine now if
there was and this girl obviously feels bad about it,
and she's confused because she hasn't come across before, but
she's probably maybe in a situation there he's not able
to do anything, and then she's not vocalizing or like
also maybe feeling a bit like oh god, you know,
and then he's feeling worse because she's visibly.

Speaker 3 (56:50):
Yeah, totally so my But I mean, I don't know
if I'm the right or wrong here, but I would
just be very open about a conversation about it, just
to make everyone feel okay of like, hey, you don't
don't feel any pressure about this, because I am sure
that person would want to reassure her this is not
a new problem.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
This is something that is my body related. It has
nothing to do with you and your like so many men,
but men don't talk about things like that, so they
they don't know.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
It depends on the personally, Like know, your friends could
fucking have the same issue, but men wouldn't talk about
what's wrong with me?

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Yeah, never want to speak about this anymore.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Women talk about everything. I'll just grant yeah that kind
of chat. Yeah, but that's what I'd be like. But
that's that's that's me.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
Though.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Maybe I'm too.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Just open instantly with someone like god, don't feel I
just want them to feel not feel, to feel comfortable, yeah,
and not have any pressure on them. And I would,
you know, and I think that would open them the
ability to also talk about a bit.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Why don't you have a boyfriend?

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Justine A lovely Oh alright, I am all right, there'd
be lads.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
After this episode, all the short men.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
I think that's it. Then we call it a day.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
This has been wonderful, Thanks for talking, thanks for having me.
I wonder what people be able to tell the difference
between us talking and this one.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
I wonder how everyone's like, Oh, I think Justine Stafford
is the day. And then I was like, no, we're
both on the podcast. Here we forgot.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
I was confused, and then I listened back and I
was like, oh, that was my lone episode.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
I was like, oh my god, we're so similar. Fucking hell. Anyway,
thanks Justine, thank you.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Next up is my blind date segment. I put up
some videos on TikTok offering my matchmaking services, and I
got people to fill in a matchmaking form and here
we are today. It is Jir and Joanne. So I'll
give you some backstory on the two of them. Jurr
is six foot two, thirty seven year old retail manager
living in Limerick City who enjoys photography, hiking, traveling, and

(59:10):
trying new food. He is looking for a bubbly lady
with a positive outlook on life. Jurr is a divorced
young dad of one who has a good co parenting
relationship with his ex partner, but this, unfortunately can make
things difficult in dating. Joane is thirty six five nine,
living in Westmeath and works in healthcare. She enjoys basketball,

(59:31):
hiking and adventures. She's looking for a decent guy who
is tall and can make her laugh. She says she's
been unlucky in love and calls herself good luck Chuck.
And if you don't get that rom com reference, it's
because the fellows that she meets always seem to find
their person directly after her.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Right, let's get stuck in.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
So I thought when I put these two together, it
was you know, decent, decent enough in terms of what
each one was looking for. So Joanne, give me a
li a bit of backstory, just in general, how has
the love life been?

Speaker 8 (01:00:03):
I like to say I'm unfortunate in love. I hate
to put negatively on it all the time and say
it's crack.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Unlucky in love. Let's put it that way. I think
a lot of women feel the same way.

Speaker 8 (01:00:16):
Yeah, oh definitely. And when you're reading our credentials there
on paper, he was my type and need to say,
like we really did line up in them values, I guess,
but just I guess in the meeting of someone, it
just didn't work out the way we hope.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
Yeah, no it does.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
And a lot of times like that, Sure you meet
somebody and it seems great on paper, like when you
meet in an app or whatever, and then.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
You meet in person and it's just not there. But
how are you feeling before the date? Were you nervous?
Have you been on a blind date before?

Speaker 8 (01:00:45):
I had never been on a proper blindage that will
set up by somebody. I had done the apps a
few times, but I've been off them for about a
year and a half now I just had enough. So
when you put it up age, I was like, okay,
this could be something a middleman do the work for me,
like all for that. Yeah, I was nervous but kind
of excited at the same time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
And so you went on a date to burg Castle,
so you were coming from West Media was coming from Limits,
so that was kind of in the middle ish and
tell me how did it go?

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
And no, it was lovely.

Speaker 8 (01:01:17):
So about that I was sitting outside the cuff shop
and kind of waiting for someone to come and then
he turned up and he was lovely from day dot.
He was like, well, we got a cup of tea
and he went for a walk and like he paid,
perfect gentleman, and then it just kind of flowed into
a walk and a chat.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
And you were kind of saying you didn't feel like
it was a spark anyway, It wasn't what you were
looking for in terms of, you know, wanting a second date.

Speaker 8 (01:01:45):
Yeah. I guess I was him and Holland about it,
because usually I'm like, I do think you need to
give someone time and more than like an hour or
two to make a judgment. But I could just kind
of just felt I wasn't one hundred percent there. And
I guess I've done long distance before in the past
and that is all well and good. But on the
date I found out he had a child, which is

(01:02:06):
no issue whatsoever, but when there is distance involved and
then you're adding a third person to prioritize as well,
it just seemed like, oh, this would take a lot
more than beverage.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Yeah, okay, yeah, well no, I get it. I got it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
Yeah, And especially if the long distance before actually if
it was about an hour kind of to Burke Castle,
but it'll probably be if you were going directly to Limerick,
it would be she half.

Speaker 8 (01:02:33):
Yeah, And I've done like the two and a half
hours distance before and that kind of just ended not
so long ago, and it just kind of I guess
I had my back, Yeah, just like a little bit
of an old wound kind of open there. I was like, oh,
can I put myself through that again? You need to
give time and just takes more time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
That's all fair enough, No, that's fair.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
And then just to wrap it up, how what's going
on with your love life now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Any updates? There?

Speaker 8 (01:02:58):
Absolutely nothing as far as downloading the Hinge app onto
my phone. Haven't opened dish so it's there. I have
my pictures picked out because I've been holidays recently, picked
my pictures out that I'd put up on my profile,
but I just can't get myself to click that button.

(01:03:19):
I've actually been catfished before, like someone used my photos
on Tinder. So I've just a real love hate relationship
with the ac on. How did we find out because
people send them so anyway, I got blocked from Tinder.
Long story short, I don't know how it happened. I
think I used a word that was like against their
code of conduct. I went on to log onto my
Tinder one a and I was blocked. I was like,

(01:03:41):
oh weird. So then anyway, a few weeks later, I
got sent a screenshot of picture and it was my
picture which I had cropped specifically for Tinder, but a
girl's name and I called Leah and the age was forty,
which I was most hurt about because I was like,
my prime, I was only turkey in them pictures. But

(01:04:04):
she yeah, and was sent to her partner saying it's
just not your mate, Joanne. I was like, my pictures,
so yeah, I was just I was freaked out because
in my locality you could see that the commoners were
set to a certain amount away, and I was like,
a lot of people think they're actually talking to.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Me when you're out, yeah, and you wouldn't know what
they're saying. And people are like, you're one, Joanne's a weirdo.

Speaker 8 (01:04:26):
Yes, send them pictures and asking for money. I was like, no,
that's not me.

Speaker 4 (01:04:32):
Well you're not.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
If you're not in, you can't win.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
So I would say, just click click the button, set
up the profile, and even why don't you try.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Either bumble or hinge before you go onto Tinder?

Speaker 8 (01:04:42):
I think, yeah, I think they're a bit more sperious
on the bumble and hinge, so it gives them a
try and see how we get on. But yeah, if
you've anymore you want to set me up again, I'm
all good for that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
I trust things.

Speaker 8 (01:04:56):
As I said, you got to write in paper just
on the day thing click. I just needed, I guess
laughter or I don't know, I don't know what I needed.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
I just I well know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
I definitely keep you in mind now when you both
had a nice time anyway, it was unfortunate.

Speaker 8 (01:05:13):
Yeah, it was so nice to get back out on
the dates.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
Do you know that?

Speaker 8 (01:05:15):
It was kind of like a little bit of a
confidence boost again. So that was lovely.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Sure you were looking for a nice lady, somebody with
bubbly personality and a positive outlook on life.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
I thought that I found that for you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
But before we get into that, give us just a
little bit of background on yourself when you're dating.

Speaker 4 (01:05:34):
Oh that's where do you start to me?

Speaker 9 (01:05:36):
So I suppose I've been following you and TikTok and
all the social media's for ail, just to see the
general gist and see if I was the only one
going through all this madness. That's dating right, and then
when you say you're going tansen the matchmak and I
was like, fuck it, just don't know, it's probably going
to bed all these people, so I won't get any
other mad luntics. That's the only way I can describe

(01:05:58):
some of my dates as madlan Like I was catfished
by a girl and it turns out that the entire
time I was actually talking.

Speaker 4 (01:06:05):
To her mom, it wasn't her at all.

Speaker 9 (01:06:07):
Stop and I rocked onto the date and she was like,
I have something to tell you.

Speaker 4 (01:06:12):
I was like, I go on, what is it?

Speaker 9 (01:06:15):
And she was like and nonchalant, like she was pure
straight about it. You've never actually been talking to me
about my mother. I was like, I'm out here, but love, So.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
D're you're thirty seven?

Speaker 9 (01:06:26):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
There was this recently? This woman was meant to be
around in her thirties as well.

Speaker 4 (01:06:31):
Yeah, yeah, so it was so onny at the end
of last.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
Year, fucking her, What did you do? Did you leave?

Speaker 4 (01:06:38):
You know, turn on my heels and wind?

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Why would she even tell you what that?

Speaker 4 (01:06:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (01:06:46):
That that craziness, absolute cretit. But like I went to
meet the dad at her but her man was there
as well the table. Yeah, like this woman I was
actually talking to was there too, so I don't know.
I think the daughter was like this is my mom
now here? Yeah, like MTV drive that short catfish.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Yeah yeah, but she was calffish and you and basically.

Speaker 9 (01:07:11):
Exactly, yeah, going after pictures and everything. And never once
was it even suggested that I wasn't been talking to.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
You would have been in your mid thirties and the
math was probably what fifty sixties. There you are, So
what you're saying is, anyway you haven't had much luck
with the dating.

Speaker 4 (01:07:27):
It sounds like I haven't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
I haven't unfortunately, And have you been single long?

Speaker 4 (01:07:33):
Who? Three years?

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
I'd say three years? Yeah, well that was probably about
the same as myself now. And were you given all
the apps ago or what were you?

Speaker 9 (01:07:41):
Like?

Speaker 4 (01:07:42):
I was on Tinder and Hinge really, and I know
I found them.

Speaker 9 (01:07:48):
They're head wrecking, Like it's very it's very shallow, you know,
it's very like you're I suppose we all have our
preferences and there's some people there be the nice people
in the world, and like you don't give them a chance,
and it's kind said. Really, that's why I decided it
would try the old matchmaking.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Yeah, well you're right, I see, Like I from just
chit chatting to you here and there over the past
I don't know year, I thought like, oh, well Jr.
Seems normal, you know. So I was like, I would.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
Say then that it's hard to judge the men and
to be able to set them up. But I don't
want any women coming back to say, oh, he was
a fucking weirdoc, you know what I mean. But then,
just from things that you have you've said over the
past year, I was like, I think I'd be safe
enough now, safe enough to set him up. And I
thought I thought it was a good, good, good match.

(01:08:38):
And in fairness, she only had good things to say
about you, But it wasn't a match anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
Let me know how how it went from your side
of things.

Speaker 9 (01:08:46):
Oh yeah, So, and the first thing I will say
is the photo that you shared with me for this
lady did or not justice.

Speaker 4 (01:08:53):
She's actually way more beautiful than really.

Speaker 9 (01:08:56):
Jesus, it was a lovely dead We went for a
walk up the country and it was just nice and
chat very friendly.

Speaker 4 (01:09:06):
There was no awkward silences, none of that kind of stuff. Yeah,
it was just it was just a nice state. I
thought it was a nice date anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Yeah, yeah, well she was. She was saying the same.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Yeah, and where you went to Burr Castle you get
a coffee or what were doing?

Speaker 9 (01:09:17):
Yeah, so we had a couple of drinks and we
just deadly around the castle grounds there. So it was
lovely in around the gardens and the telescope and all
that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
And yeah, so anyway, you were walking around having a
grandale time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
And then when it came to the end, how did
this finish? Look?

Speaker 9 (01:09:34):
We just said would look and hugged them whatever in
shure to be back in Limo for work, and she
was heading off for workers with everything. I never asked
for her number, but I suppose that was kind of
that was kind of a ceiling the deal, really, like,
isn't it a nine side looking back at it?

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
Ah, sure, look it's I have another fellow here that's
at the exact same thing.

Speaker 9 (01:09:52):
Sometimes when when you're not too you say, all day
and seeing these are the things that you kind of forget,
you know. It was a lot with the match making
as I was like, oh that I actually don't know
this person.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
I know, I can't ticking them.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
Exactly once you walk away like that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Yeah, Well, I luckily, like I'm sure I'm the middleman here,
but you were thinking it was a good match anyway,
And in fairness, she was thinking that you were lovely.
She had a great time. She actually hasn't been dating
in a long time. She she's not online or on
the apps or anything like that. She said, for her
first time to go back out there, she was delighted
that it was you, but just wasn't feeling it, she said.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
She she would have previously thought that, like.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Maybe we'll give it a go, but then she thought, no,
if it's not there now, kind of leave it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
What do you think about that?

Speaker 9 (01:10:36):
Yeah, exactly, And that's a good way to go about
it as well, Like and I'm always I'm always about
the annesty piece, do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:10:41):
Because it's not worse than needing somebody down the.

Speaker 9 (01:10:43):
Garden past, and you never have any intentions of doing
being in a relationship or even intending and trying a
relationship with them. And also, yeah, and was always the
best policy when it comes to things like this, because
it's another person's feelings of emotions and everything as well.

Speaker 4 (01:10:55):
You know, you have no right to control them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
Yeah, I'm always I don't know, but like I I
would now have been like, I'll go on a second
date just to see. I'm always like, right, I should
kind of know on the first one. I don't want
to be wasting people's time or whatever. But there are
a lot of people who believe you do need a
second date to get over the first date nerves, to
really see what someone's like.

Speaker 4 (01:11:16):
Yeah, I suppose case my case basis really isn't it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
There was a bit of confusion or something on the
date because you had thought you have a child, and
you had thought that I had passed it on what
passed on that information?

Speaker 9 (01:11:30):
So we were we were just walking along and I
had mentioned that I was just back from Liverpool my son,
and she was like, you have a child.

Speaker 4 (01:11:38):
I was like, yeah, do you not know this? And
she was like, no, I haven't the clue.

Speaker 9 (01:11:44):
She's like telling me all about when we were talking whatever,
and then it came any conversation. I was like, I
suppose you don't know that I'm divorced Eiler, and she
was like what.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
I was like, I.

Speaker 9 (01:11:56):
Was like, I told d and Orange all this information
taught you or want to have it, and she was like, no,
I know none of this.

Speaker 2 (01:12:06):
She had written on her form.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
You know that she didn't mind if somebody had a
child or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
You know, that wasn't a deal breaker for her.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
So I was like, okay, Brad, this will be fine
and let them, let them, you know, learn some stuff.
I kind of just gave you a few tippets of
information so to get the conversation going.

Speaker 9 (01:12:24):
Yeah, to be fair, now we don't have to go
thirty forty minutes of conversation out of it anyway.

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
So yeah, it was just the initial reaction more so
than anything. I was like, what you don't notice?

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
Yeah? Fair enough? How is all with the data?

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
What's the update on the love life any anything new happening?

Speaker 4 (01:12:47):
And so I deleted Tinder anyway because I've met a girl.

Speaker 9 (01:12:50):
Yeah, we're in very early days, but we're getting we're getting.

Speaker 1 (01:12:56):
Well, that's nice that you deleted Tinder anyway. Was there
a conversation had about, you know, deleting it or did
you just go ahead and do it?

Speaker 4 (01:13:02):
No?

Speaker 9 (01:13:03):
So, so we went on our first date. So I'm
this is what identifying his share to anyway. I'm a
photographer as well, right, So I was like, what will
I do different now for a date? And I suggested
that we go into the city and we take some
pictures and I show her how he was a camera
and she was like, oh my god, that's unreal. And
then we just kind of I suppose we kind of

(01:13:24):
hit it off when we met him. We've just been
chatting since and we've ranged more dates and stuff. When
I told her straight out to day, I was like, look,
I said, I feel connection here with you, and I'm
going deleting tinner so and she deleted it as.

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
Well, and so few days I'm delightful you.

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
I that is such a cute first date for those
type of people who love to do activities.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
I would just rather have a pint.

Speaker 9 (01:13:46):
Yeah, No, we've done that after ye I was like,
what can I do different now, because like, I've done
the whole meeting someone walking around the park and I
was like, that's I love that.

Speaker 4 (01:14:02):
But it's not me Johnathan. So it was like, what
can I do?

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
You're an activity man?

Speaker 4 (01:14:06):
Yeah, I was like, what can I do? Know something
that's completely different?

Speaker 9 (01:14:08):
And we just sarting around town with cameras and chatting
and what have you saw?

Speaker 4 (01:14:12):
Yeah, it's going well now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:14):
Jesus, happy days. Well that's that's a nice.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
That's a nice.

Speaker 2 (01:14:17):
I lent to it. There it is. I'm glad well
fingers crossed. Now it all works out for you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
Because I was gonna I was going to ask did
you want to be put forward to go on another day?

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
But I suppose I may. I may archive your all
your matchmaking details for now.

Speaker 4 (01:14:31):
You can put me a nice for a while.

Speaker 1 (01:14:32):
And thanks a billion, Jaron, thanks for putting yourself forward
for the match making.

Speaker 4 (01:14:37):
And have a batter. I really wish well.

Speaker 2 (01:14:40):
I hope you enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (01:14:41):
Tune in in two weeks time where I will have
dating coach Erica etton on who will be offering dating advice,
tips on staying resilient, changing your mindset and more. And
of course we'll talk to another blind date couple. If
you would like to appear, if you want to collab,
if you have a story for the pod, you get
in touch the Dating Orange at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Grandma

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Situationships, STDs & Short Kings - with Justine Stafford

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Situationships, STDs & Short Kings - with Justine Stafford