May 26, 2023 • 13 mins
This program we will break down how will you spend your summer with your pre-teen and teenagers
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
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:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello, buddy man. My nameis doctor Janal and thank you so much
for joining me today. So welcometo Doctor's Corner. We are going to
continue on our teens and preteens.Now, you guys know this is like
maybe the nmmy school's coming out.So as a parent, what are you
going to do with your child,your team, or your preteen? And
(00:25):
for you guys who cared to reguatedhigh school, man, congratulations for that
or going into high school, congratulationsfor that or whatever wherever that they're at,
Congratulations for all that stuff. Right, you know, when they graduated
high school, what's next? Arethey gonna go to college? Right?
Or they gonna do What are theygoing to do? Because that's the next
(00:45):
step. I remember when geez,when I graduated, Oh my god,
forty years ago. Yeah, itwas forty years ago, math factor,
You got a forty year high schoolreunion coming up pretty soon, so that's
going to be interesting. Right.Of course, I'll go back to mission
in City, Indiana to figure outwhat's going on. Right, So my
biggest goal that I'm so sorry peopledon't know me to give you a brief
(01:07):
history of who I am. Bornand raised in Michigan City, Indiana number
eight out of ten. So a'mbaby boy growing up, had a severe
stundaring problem, went to private school. None told me I was gonna be
retarded, never graduate eighth grade.I should go to a special school.
Girfield not a fact. And Mom, being the strong mama that she is,
(01:30):
she said, that's not going tohappen to my child. And of
course I didn't go so because Isaid, if John leave at the whole
leaf, and I stayed. Butit was a struggle and it was a
challenge self esteem coming from leaderships thatyou retired it that you never graduate eighth
grade. It's like being struck bylightning. Of course, I overcame everything
because I had great parents and parentswho believed in God. So that's the
(01:55):
light's a plus. If my parentsdidn't believe, if my parents listened to
the none, I doan't have stillhave been in the group home today because
that's what because that's what happened.Um, I just praising think that I
was born at that household and Ihad their parents that I had because my
parents were phenomenal. I spent thirtyfive years in mental health field working with
(02:16):
that. My main population was workingwith adolescens that was my main population.
Came up with the book an Osix called Connect Him with Your Teen.
I'm reworking it. I put itback out pretty soon. That's really that's
really a great book. It gota lot of great stuff to Connect Him
with your teine. I believe thatwhen you when you work with family members
(02:39):
or work with a family, Ishould work with you know all the parents
did all my team's bad. Okay, he could be bad, it could
not be bad. But where didhe get these behaviors from? Right?
And sometimes the parents have to understandthat sometimes the way they raised the kids
or the communication skills is terrible,and parents also need enhancement skills. And
(03:01):
when parents realize that, that's whenthe world changes, right, because because
a person can notice behaviors that theirkids should make, but they never notice
their behaviors that they should wait.Right. And when I'm working with any
family, it has to be parentsas well, because as a child,
(03:23):
you know, whatever you see youwould do is like monkey see monkey do
right, And that's what I'm actuallytake place. So if you have an
anger issue and your kids see that, civil they the way you had no
money, so will they everything thatyou do that, they're going to model
(03:43):
that behavior from you. So it'snot just it's not just a teen issue.
Right. Parents have a huge roleand that and a lot of times
the parents does not take your responsibility. And to me, that's one of
the real sad problems. But ithappens all the time. You know,
(04:06):
there's nothing wrong with it, butjust happen all the time. Right.
The natural thing to do is blamingmy kid. It's my kid, it's
says it's that. So here itgoes, guys, schools, it's coming
out very very soon, right,maybe week or two they're out right.
And if your kid to coming homefrom college, man, congratulations, well
(04:28):
now we're going to come back home. So there's a question that happens for
you. How is the rules goingto be? Do you have any rules?
What's going to take place that they'recoming from If they're going from high
school to college, what's going tobe the next step? If they're still
in high school, what are yougonna do throughout the summer? Right?
(04:51):
So, when I was working inthe mental field, and when I started
doing my private projectices back in twothousand and beyond, right, I used
to come I used to have ourprogrammers for my kids and parents as a
us, right because my goal wasto struct them beyond thinking and teach them
some school some skill sets. Don'tthink about this, right, when I
(05:13):
was going to school, we hadkids that was so freaking confident. The
confidence blood didn't come inside my bloodinto literon in life. Right. But
they're just confident, right and andthey were just mean, they're just men
among boys. When they came toconfidence. As I said, back in
(05:33):
the school system, some people hadit, some people did not that I
did not have. Do I haveit today absolutely because I worked my butt
off for that. So your kidsare going out is coming out of school?
Now? Remember when they're in school, right, they have a they
have what I call a level system, right, a being from modification system.
(05:58):
And that's why they most them.They go to school and they do
extremely well. What do you haveat your household? Do you have like
a behavioral modification level system that whenthey come out home, everything to structure
because you know that when it's notstructured at home, it's going to be
a zoo, all right. Andpeople have to understand that because I mean
(06:24):
just imagine there at their home afteryou get home it is from work.
The house isn't messed up, thekitchen is not clean, blah blah blah
blah blah. Why most of themdon't have any chores? Why the parents?
Because their parents are not the leaderanymore. The kids aren't. So
when the parents become the joker asthe frame when we had mentioned the last
(06:46):
program, it's not gonna help outthese kids at all. So here's what
I'm doing right. I am goingto create or put together this summer and
I'll have more about it on ason my website, which is doctor Johnala
dot com. We'll put together aprogram for parents and change. But it's
(07:11):
not just going to be any program. The program is gonna be so amazing
that in ninety days that that yourkid, I mean, you're to pretend
or even yourself is going to gothrough a metamorphosis. You're gonna start off
as a calipillar and the ninety daysgonna go to a butterfly. You're gonna
look differently, act differently, behavedifferently, have goals, have a communication
(07:38):
skills to get along with Johnny.If you have problems with Johnny, Johnny
is gonna have the most self esteem, the most confidence that you ever seen
this kid behave. He's gonna haveso much stuff that it's gonna be amazing.
You know, when I used towork, I used to work in
Michigan City and Indiana. We hadsome of the roughest, toughest kids out
(07:59):
there, right, you know,so you know most of the kids,
you know, there was gangbanging,or the girls had us suicide attends.
I mean, it was just somuch stuff going on, right, And
my number one goal was, Okay, how can we create a program I
can work with them? Then westarted briting the parents. I was interested,
(08:24):
but my god, the outcome wasamazing. So what I'm thinking about
doing, I was doing it onlineand if you're in the Abode area or
the Chicagoland area or the areas thatI will actually go to, I will
actually also do a live program becauseI believe that if you get both,
everything changes. I worked with overone hundred thousand kids when I used to
(08:48):
do a private practice. Most ofthe more similars and workshops. That's what
I did for about my parents andteams with similars workshops. Right when I
did that, we had a ninetypercent success rate. Let me tell you
how I can to a success ratemy kids going to college or trade school
right, or getting their associates,or their bachelors or their masters, or
(09:09):
their PhDs or the mds which wehave around them are are commercial parts.
Whatever that they wanted, they dothat they became Why because I taught the
same strategies of that people get fromTony Robbins programs. I taught to my
adolescents and parents, the exact samething I got trained by these guys.
(09:30):
My love and my passion is togive these stuff back to parents and teams
because they need this when they understandhow to communicate. See, I mean
everyone have different parents himself. Welook care about parents and styles. I
care about communication when you have afamily mission statement and you stand by the
family and mission statement. Now myparents had one right and my parents mission
(09:50):
statement was that all the kids aregoing to college graduated. We had ten
of them, as I said,we all did because I was your mission
statement. That's what they left right. And to my experience, if you
work with the entire family, yourlife would never be the same because a
(10:13):
family who worked together stays together.So I put more on my website,
which is doctor Johnathan dot com.I'm gonna figure out what I'm gonna do.
Go nine yards to webinars, soyou guys, explain what's going on.
But this is for the entire family. And everyone says, well,
it's not me, it's John Ardsue. No, if you're a parent,
(10:35):
you have a challenge as well,and we need to enhance your skill
set. Right. But now,if you don't do this program, that
is fine, it's not a problem. But here's the question I hans for
you. What's next? If youdon't do this program, how are we
gonna how are you going to functionwith your kid in the summertime? You
(10:58):
have a game plan. If youdon't have a game plan, create a
game plan. Now, if yourkids are going from senior to college,
we have a core program that getsthem ready for college. Figure out what
major is going to be, howto act in college. The hold nine
yeards. We literally hit every avenuebecause that's because that's again that's the key,
because we want to create this sothe kids can have this anyway,
(11:24):
Guys, I can go on forever, but I won't. So my next
one that I'm gonna do, guys, is gonna be like it. Remember,
I'm not sure, you guys,just order this argument. Remember this
lady and Landards all right, andthen back in the day, back in
the sixties, and Landards would havethis advice columns and she would focus on
ad biased people would write in,and then she would actually give some feedback.
So my next session there that I'mgoing to do is a Landards technique.
(11:50):
I Am going to come up withconcepts of old cases that I've known
and I used to write articles.Feel like about one hundred papers back in
these two thousand and three, twothousand and four, five may I well,
for about maybe four or five yearsinstate of organ Yeah, I instate
(12:11):
of organ yet, So I realfor a lot of papers. When I
got my old articles, I waslooking at a couple of days ago.
So I decided to break them down, you know, twenty years more smarter
now, and so I'm breaking downa little bit differently so people can actually
understand. This way, people canget benefits of what these other kids and
parents are going through and then getsome strategies to actually before it. Now.
(12:35):
If you need, if you haveany questions for me, please email
I mean, you can email meat John at doctor John dot net.
That's a great one. Or youcan email me at doctor John Oda at
gmail dot com as well tell mewhat the questions that you have and on
the next my next show, Iwould actually answer them. Anyway, guys,
(12:56):
I hope that's helped out a lot. I don't know. I just
had something in meet to talk aboutparents and teens and talk about parents and
give them some feedback and give themsome strategies. Because the same strategies that
you got from that, that yousee see from Tony Robins and all these
great people that speaks and charge Ihis beautiful income, it's the exact same
(13:18):
strategies of that my parents and teenslearned as well, because I was taught
by them. All Right, youguys, I would love to say,
stay longer, but until the nexttime, take here an the rice.
God bless bye for now.
Hello, buddy man. My nameis doctor Janal and thank you so much
for joining me today. So welcometo Doctor's Corner. We are going to
continue on our teens and preteens.Now, you guys know this is like
maybe the nmmy school's coming out.So as a parent, what are you
going to do with your child,your team, or your preteen? And
(00:25):
for you guys who cared to reguatedhigh school, man, congratulations for that
or going into high school, congratulationsfor that or whatever wherever that they're at,
Congratulations for all that stuff. Right, you know, when they graduated
high school, what's next? Arethey gonna go to college? Right?
Or they gonna do What are theygoing to do? Because that's the next
(00:45):
step. I remember when geez,when I graduated, Oh my god,
forty years ago. Yeah, itwas forty years ago, math factor,
You got a forty year high schoolreunion coming up pretty soon, so that's
going to be interesting. Right.Of course, I'll go back to mission
in City, Indiana to figure outwhat's going on. Right, So my
biggest goal that I'm so sorry peopledon't know me to give you a brief
(01:07):
history of who I am. Bornand raised in Michigan City, Indiana number
eight out of ten. So a'mbaby boy growing up, had a severe
stundaring problem, went to private school. None told me I was gonna be
retarded, never graduate eighth grade.I should go to a special school.
Girfield not a fact. And Mom, being the strong mama that she is,
(01:30):
she said, that's not going tohappen to my child. And of
course I didn't go so because Isaid, if John leave at the whole
leaf, and I stayed. Butit was a struggle and it was a
challenge self esteem coming from leaderships thatyou retired it that you never graduate eighth
grade. It's like being struck bylightning. Of course, I overcame everything
because I had great parents and parentswho believed in God. So that's the
(01:55):
light's a plus. If my parentsdidn't believe, if my parents listened to
the none, I doan't have stillhave been in the group home today because
that's what because that's what happened.Um, I just praising think that I
was born at that household and Ihad their parents that I had because my
parents were phenomenal. I spent thirtyfive years in mental health field working with
(02:16):
that. My main population was workingwith adolescens that was my main population.
Came up with the book an Osix called Connect Him with Your Teen.
I'm reworking it. I put itback out pretty soon. That's really that's
really a great book. It gota lot of great stuff to Connect Him
with your teine. I believe thatwhen you when you work with family members
(02:39):
or work with a family, Ishould work with you know all the parents
did all my team's bad. Okay, he could be bad, it could
not be bad. But where didhe get these behaviors from? Right?
And sometimes the parents have to understandthat sometimes the way they raised the kids
or the communication skills is terrible,and parents also need enhancement skills. And
(03:01):
when parents realize that, that's whenthe world changes, right, because because
a person can notice behaviors that theirkids should make, but they never notice
their behaviors that they should wait.Right. And when I'm working with any
family, it has to be parentsas well, because as a child,
(03:23):
you know, whatever you see youwould do is like monkey see monkey do
right, And that's what I'm actuallytake place. So if you have an
anger issue and your kids see that, civil they the way you had no
money, so will they everything thatyou do that, they're going to model
(03:43):
that behavior from you. So it'snot just it's not just a teen issue.
Right. Parents have a huge roleand that and a lot of times
the parents does not take your responsibility. And to me, that's one of
the real sad problems. But ithappens all the time. You know,
(04:06):
there's nothing wrong with it, butjust happen all the time. Right.
The natural thing to do is blamingmy kid. It's my kid, it's
says it's that. So here itgoes, guys, schools, it's coming
out very very soon, right,maybe week or two they're out right.
And if your kid to coming homefrom college, man, congratulations, well
(04:28):
now we're going to come back home. So there's a question that happens for
you. How is the rules goingto be? Do you have any rules?
What's going to take place that they'recoming from If they're going from high
school to college, what's going tobe the next step? If they're still
in high school, what are yougonna do throughout the summer? Right?
(04:51):
So, when I was working inthe mental field, and when I started
doing my private projectices back in twothousand and beyond, right, I used
to come I used to have ourprogrammers for my kids and parents as a
us, right because my goal wasto struct them beyond thinking and teach them
some school some skill sets. Don'tthink about this, right, when I
(05:13):
was going to school, we hadkids that was so freaking confident. The
confidence blood didn't come inside my bloodinto literon in life. Right. But
they're just confident, right and andthey were just mean, they're just men
among boys. When they came toconfidence. As I said, back in
(05:33):
the school system, some people hadit, some people did not that I
did not have. Do I haveit today absolutely because I worked my butt
off for that. So your kidsare going out is coming out of school?
Now? Remember when they're in school, right, they have a they
have what I call a level system, right, a being from modification system.
(05:58):
And that's why they most them.They go to school and they do
extremely well. What do you haveat your household? Do you have like
a behavioral modification level system that whenthey come out home, everything to structure
because you know that when it's notstructured at home, it's going to be
a zoo, all right. Andpeople have to understand that because I mean
(06:24):
just imagine there at their home afteryou get home it is from work.
The house isn't messed up, thekitchen is not clean, blah blah blah
blah blah. Why most of themdon't have any chores? Why the parents?
Because their parents are not the leaderanymore. The kids aren't. So
when the parents become the joker asthe frame when we had mentioned the last
(06:46):
program, it's not gonna help outthese kids at all. So here's what
I'm doing right. I am goingto create or put together this summer and
I'll have more about it on ason my website, which is doctor Johnala
dot com. We'll put together aprogram for parents and change. But it's
(07:11):
not just going to be any program. The program is gonna be so amazing
that in ninety days that that yourkid, I mean, you're to pretend
or even yourself is going to gothrough a metamorphosis. You're gonna start off
as a calipillar and the ninety daysgonna go to a butterfly. You're gonna
look differently, act differently, behavedifferently, have goals, have a communication
(07:38):
skills to get along with Johnny.If you have problems with Johnny, Johnny
is gonna have the most self esteem, the most confidence that you ever seen
this kid behave. He's gonna haveso much stuff that it's gonna be amazing.
You know, when I used towork, I used to work in
Michigan City and Indiana. We hadsome of the roughest, toughest kids out
(07:59):
there, right, you know,so you know most of the kids,
you know, there was gangbanging,or the girls had us suicide attends.
I mean, it was just somuch stuff going on, right, And
my number one goal was, Okay, how can we create a program I
can work with them? Then westarted briting the parents. I was interested,
(08:24):
but my god, the outcome wasamazing. So what I'm thinking about
doing, I was doing it onlineand if you're in the Abode area or
the Chicagoland area or the areas thatI will actually go to, I will
actually also do a live program becauseI believe that if you get both,
everything changes. I worked with overone hundred thousand kids when I used to
(08:48):
do a private practice. Most ofthe more similars and workshops. That's what
I did for about my parents andteams with similars workshops. Right when I
did that, we had a ninetypercent success rate. Let me tell you
how I can to a success ratemy kids going to college or trade school
right, or getting their associates,or their bachelors or their masters, or
(09:09):
their PhDs or the mds which wehave around them are are commercial parts.
Whatever that they wanted, they dothat they became Why because I taught the
same strategies of that people get fromTony Robbins programs. I taught to my
adolescents and parents, the exact samething I got trained by these guys.
(09:30):
My love and my passion is togive these stuff back to parents and teams
because they need this when they understandhow to communicate. See, I mean
everyone have different parents himself. Welook care about parents and styles. I
care about communication when you have afamily mission statement and you stand by the
family and mission statement. Now myparents had one right and my parents mission
(09:50):
statement was that all the kids aregoing to college graduated. We had ten
of them, as I said,we all did because I was your mission
statement. That's what they left right. And to my experience, if you
work with the entire family, yourlife would never be the same because a
(10:13):
family who worked together stays together.So I put more on my website,
which is doctor Johnathan dot com.I'm gonna figure out what I'm gonna do.
Go nine yards to webinars, soyou guys, explain what's going on.
But this is for the entire family. And everyone says, well,
it's not me, it's John Ardsue. No, if you're a parent,
(10:35):
you have a challenge as well,and we need to enhance your skill
set. Right. But now,if you don't do this program, that
is fine, it's not a problem. But here's the question I hans for
you. What's next? If youdon't do this program, how are we
gonna how are you going to functionwith your kid in the summertime? You
(10:58):
have a game plan. If youdon't have a game plan, create a
game plan. Now, if yourkids are going from senior to college,
we have a core program that getsthem ready for college. Figure out what
major is going to be, howto act in college. The hold nine
yeards. We literally hit every avenuebecause that's because that's again that's the key,
because we want to create this sothe kids can have this anyway,
(11:24):
Guys, I can go on forever, but I won't. So my next
one that I'm gonna do, guys, is gonna be like it. Remember,
I'm not sure, you guys,just order this argument. Remember this
lady and Landards all right, andthen back in the day, back in
the sixties, and Landards would havethis advice columns and she would focus on
ad biased people would write in,and then she would actually give some feedback.
So my next session there that I'mgoing to do is a Landards technique.
(11:50):
I Am going to come up withconcepts of old cases that I've known
and I used to write articles.Feel like about one hundred papers back in
these two thousand and three, twothousand and four, five may I well,
for about maybe four or five yearsinstate of organ Yeah, I instate
(12:11):
of organ yet, So I realfor a lot of papers. When I
got my old articles, I waslooking at a couple of days ago.
So I decided to break them down, you know, twenty years more smarter
now, and so I'm breaking downa little bit differently so people can actually
understand. This way, people canget benefits of what these other kids and
parents are going through and then getsome strategies to actually before it. Now.
(12:35):
If you need, if you haveany questions for me, please email
I mean, you can email meat John at doctor John dot net.
That's a great one. Or youcan email me at doctor John Oda at
gmail dot com as well tell mewhat the questions that you have and on
the next my next show, Iwould actually answer them. Anyway, guys,
(12:56):
I hope that's helped out a lot. I don't know. I just
had something in meet to talk aboutparents and teens and talk about parents and
give them some feedback and give themsome strategies. Because the same strategies that
you got from that, that yousee see from Tony Robins and all these
great people that speaks and charge Ihis beautiful income, it's the exact same
(13:18):
strategies of that my parents and teenslearned as well, because I was taught
by them. All Right, youguys, I would love to say,
stay longer, but until the nexttime, take here an the rice.
God bless bye for now.
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