September 14, 2023 • 15 mins
This session give communication tips
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Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello, about a Welcome to theDoctor's Corner with doctor John Old that I
am Jazz Today. Today we hadkind of have a very great UH program.
It's called connecting with your team.Of course about about the book.
But I got this from the gymand I went to a UH today,
UH, I go to I goto gym six days a week, Monday
to Saturday. And I had agreat conversation. But before, of course
(00:24):
we started the conversation, let meexplain to you about the show. Why
I do the show, the wholenine yards right, So I've been in
the mental field for two thirds ofmy life. I love what I do.
I like working with parenting teams.UH. To me, it's not
parenting, it's just communication. Ithink everybody have different parenting styles. You
know, Black folks, race kidsa little bit different than white people and
(00:46):
Asian people and Indian people. Soeveryone have different type of parenting styles.
I believe the common denominator is communication. If you don't know how to communicate
with your child, the bully,will, the drug ular will you know?
The gang banger? Will somebody will? Right? Or else? People
say I live in a great neighborhood, Well you're at risk. Anyway,
(01:06):
I think I believe all kids areat risk. And here's the reason why.
Right, if you live, likeyou know in h under privilege area,
well you have to find the ways. And also it's for your money
to get money. And I sayin Irvine, if you live in Irvine,
well you're a fooling area. Sonot only your parents get is give
you your money. Right? IsIrvine have or Orange County have the highest
(01:27):
rate of sour side the highest rateof drugs. It's suicide is because of
course the parents for a lot ofpressure on them to get great grades.
Right Uh, and for drugs isthey got access to money. Right.
So I believe that all kids areare at risk. You know why it
or not? All kids are soso so let's move on. So I've
(01:49):
been doing this for two thirds ofmy life. Love what they do,
it's great. Uh. The reasonwhy I work for I think with anybody
to be truely honest about to youbecause I do know. I do life
coaching, business coaching, and andmind coaching as well. So I do
a lot of the coaching part.But I when when someone walks into me,
they're like a calipillar. Right,calling on this timic, right,
(02:10):
But I know that we're gonna gothrough a metamorphosis. Change it to that
butterfly. And I believe that everybodygoes through their metamorphosis, if it's as
a child, if it's as anadult. Sometimes it go to metamorphosis a
lot in a different times in theirlives. Because we do two things in
life. We win and we learnedmost of the times, you know,
you know, you know, andmost science we're in the learning stages,
(02:30):
you know, the one in thestage we don't really learned that much.
Is it just feels great? Right? So the biggest goal and the reason
why did I wanted to do thisbecause I I found out there's a big
need with communication and with your teens. You know, when I was growing
up, we didn't have the Internet, we didn't have a lot of we're
enough social media, we didn't havea lot of stuff. I guy,
(02:51):
if we did, it would bea completely different world. So what your
child is going through it is completelyamazing. There's so much, there's so
much up to grab their attention,you know, I mean they got Internet,
they got the crazy games, theygot all these crazy things going on,
And where is your parents had rightnow? So how is the parents
grabbing their attention? You know?So because you gotta work. Sometimes you
(03:15):
work two jobs and three jobs,sometimes you work three kids. When this
time, how can you spend timewith Johnny? And those are the uh,
those are those are the problems.Right. So what I always do,
and most times I do, Igive myself. I give you guys
a couple of gifts and a coupleof rules. Because the number one goes
not for you to listen to it, but for you to apply something that
you listen to, something that's gonnaresonate with you. Someone's gonna like grab
(03:38):
you. That's what you're grab right. So the first thing I always say
is have fun. And when Isay have fun, when know when I
see parents, know all of themare stressed out, they're at their ways.
They mean they can't do it Johnnyor Sue, and they're just just
so much because they don't have asystem. Think about this business. We
have a system and everything that themost couple pies for. Our system is
like a mcgonnads are Starbucks? Fine, most parents and they don't have a
(04:01):
system inside their pens. And sowhat it is you're in your household,
you're one of three types of peopleI'm expanding on. Imagine the clock.
Yeah, the clock is a twelveor three in the six. Either you
are the leader of your family andeverything runs through you, and most of
them, let's see families, that'snever the case, maybe Timberson of the
(04:23):
cases, that's the parents are theleaders. Then number three, the parents
are the friend, the parents switchedfrom being a parent to a friend.
And last but not at least,you're of you're the joker. Kids don't
even kids don't even even as respectyou right now. Could you come from
the joker or a friend to theleader. Absolutely, but it's I'll take
(04:45):
some hard work, take some soI'll take some really hard work to get
to that point. Right. Butlet's go backwards. It's a lot of
parents who want to be their kidsfriends telling what's going on, and I
get a program I bought that that'snot You're not never supposed to be your
kid friends. You can be friendlyto your kids, but never the friends,
because when you be your friends,you're crossed the line of being a
(05:05):
parent. Again. To watch theother show explain even more of that.
So, but that's the biggest concept, right, So, my biggest thing
is to have fun. You know. My second thing is I have an
open line. A lot of stuffyou're gonna hear. You might not like
that's okay, but there's an it'sgonna resonate that you need to apply it
(05:26):
if you want to actually create thelife that you want to deserve with your
kids, if you want to connectwith them in a way that my God,
it's like, for example, Igive you a great example, Like
my dad died about nine years agoat ninety ones would have been a hundred
right now. And my mom diedh five years ago, she would have
been eighty, she would have beenninety one, is right. So but
when they died, all the silverand stuff that we were the favorite,
(05:50):
and we was fighting. I waslaughing. I said, I'm like,
God, that's great parents and skills, or that's great communication skills, because
everybody's gonna have my own parents andstyle and parents and stuff. But it's
not about parents, and it's aboutcommunication. How do I communicate with my
kid, If my kid trust me, if my kid like me, or
(06:12):
vice versa, Do I get thatvibe that I'm on the same page.
Because here's the biggest challenge about it, right you still gotta gain or apport
with it to your child bytom mine. If you don't, somebody will,
right so from that day on,and so I would, and then or
(06:35):
I spend out at least allow meto to to be your coach and your
mentor. What's the coach? What'sa mentor? To see a coach?
I could coach you on parents?And I absolutely I can and they could
be a phenomenal parent. Anybody amentor. I've been there and no that
I have a really a busting thatI come from a family of ten.
I'm eight of ten, have sixsisters and three brothers. Parents was married
(06:58):
for sixty seven years before they died, and they're happily married, so I
know what a marriage would actually looklike. Have one hundred and twenty twentiess
and nephews all over the place,so huge family. But in the Missis
house field for crazy years, overa hundred thousand kids that I worked with
with ninety percent success rate. Andhow I define success rate is that they
(07:20):
went to either a trade school andgraduate or they got their bachelors or their
masters and PhDs. We have wehave medical docts, we have literally everything.
Nurses social workers, commercial parties.In the last or twenty some years,
we have literally everything. So I'mthat's really what I'm proud about.
And probably this day, I getso many people, so many grown kids,
you know, calling me Dad still, which is a really a uh
(07:42):
a honor and a blessing, youknow, So I don't take that likely,
but it's a it's a it's aphenomenal feeling. So this is the
this is what I do. Andof course you know around me, be
your coach, guys. My jobis to push you behind your thinking and
the work in your community, caseskills, you can connect with your connect
with your team or preteen because ifyou don't, somebody else will. So
(08:07):
that's one of the biggest things aboutit. If you don't, somebody else
will. So the name of theshow is connecting with your change. And
of course let's name of the book. But the reason why I did this
program, all right, I've beenspeaking to people at the gym, right
and this lady told me, sheasked me today, mean I don't like
my I don't like my I don'tlike my car, I don't like my
daughter. I said, what doyou mean? She said, we don't
(08:30):
get along. I said, i'dyou try to gain report with her?
She said I I shouldn't. Shouldn'tgain report with her? I had her
she should just liked me automatically.I said, well, yes or no?
Do you got Do you spend timewith her? Do you connect with
her? Do you figure out waywhat she likes? Everything else? Nothing?
I said, So here's a problem. You have not gained rapport with
(08:52):
your daughter. That says the sameway that you're gaining report with the people
that you see at work, orthe people that you want to your friends,
worth or anything else. You think, that's the exact same way.
You can't report with your daughter.You have to build a relationship. And
the way she disrupted said, yourdaughter's very kindness to like she's inside of
her feelings. She can feel whenyou want to talk to her, I
(09:13):
feel when you don't want to talkto her without based on where you're gonna
be at. So I said tothat, if you want to get that
relationship with your daughter, you can. It is report. So I'm give
you what I gave it to German, and I gave you a quick version
game. I couldn't give you along version, right, I said that
I imagine you're going to to themall. How would you introduce yourself to
(09:35):
five people? And then she said, well that's some high how you doing?
My name is x Y and zay. I said, okay, and
or you or this looking ice orI gotta love your hair or okay,
great, So I said it.Now, in the way that you connect
with the people, there's by words. So I'm i'm a break down three
ways of how to gain report toanybody. I would go a little bit
further, which I do, ofcourse, and then sometimes a workshop.
(09:58):
But and of course my book couldconnecting with your teen Prickson down't even more
right, But for right now andwhat it is, I say that the
first way to get a poor witha person is the words they use.
So the words they use equal sevenpercent. So if you're trying to get
connected with your teens or your preteens or your husband or whoever, by
(10:20):
words, you're only gonna connect sevenpercent of the time. And that's it,
no more, no less. There'ssome consciously he's well subconsciously, so
so consciously is gonna go oh mygod. So if you say yay,
yay, I know I want usbig car. And if you say I
want this big car, you you'regonna connect with them. But do you
say I wants a huge car,You're not gonna connect it because not because
because you're a big and huge mightbe the same thing, but it's not
(10:41):
the words he's using. So thewords that they use it on a constant
basis, that's what you use,and you're gonna connect with from seven percent
of the time. The second wayis tone temple trinality is thirty eight percent.
So they're speaking slow like this,and you speak slow like this,
you're gonna connect with them. Ifyou speak fast like it's hard. You
(11:03):
don't me fast move you gotta connectwith them. So what it is,
I watch their tone, their tempoand tonality at the pace. If they
talk loud or a slow or slowwhatever that it takes place right and last
penalists this yeology party. If theymove their hands, they're moving their hands
ten thousand most an hour. WhenI'm speaking, I'm doing the same thing.
Uh while watching my head, Iwatch my boundaries, and I taught
(11:26):
her if you use these three ways, and these three ways only you you
you first have to listen to what'sgoing on and watch and do assessment and
you again report what's your daughter begures? What you're not doing. You're not
watching her, you're not figuring outif if she if she's talking loud and
soft, and she said, ohmy god. She says, I didn't
(11:48):
know. I didn't know any ofthis stuff. And I says, a
lot of people just do it naturally. They do it easily, naturally,
and it's just part of who theyare. A lot of people actually struggle
with it. I said, whichone like you? And you're struggling with
it? I said, if youdo this stuff, you'll be finding So
when I see it's the gym againtomorrow, let me know what's going on.
I set the protects and stuff witheverybody. And of course we have
more advanced skills here. I mean, after a visual or auditorial, what's
(12:09):
the motivational stuff? We can reallygoing on more stuff than that. Right,
So that's the trip that I wantto get all parents out here.
And it's I I'm so sorry tonot mention it. If you guys are
listening to the show, thank you. I know you guys are spending your
time, your energy whatever listening itis to me and my number one goal
is to add ten times of value. So if you're listening to me for
(12:33):
five, ten, twenty mental atleast, I'm gonna put something inside your
life so you can ask you lookat it, and you can notice the
patterns and figure out how I canconnect better with my child or even when
you so you can use this stuffchild, husband, career, professional,
everywhere you know people who know it'sme. At the gym, I talked
to everybody, literally everybody have differentconversations, different stuff, because my number
(12:56):
one thing about is I whant toconnect with them. I mean, you
know, this is this is whoI am, this is this is what
I do. Right, So,so here's gonna be your assignment. I'm
gonna give out this assignment today.Your assignment is going to be is figure
out what words people are using andstart using them more often to on tip
of tonality. Same thing because theologypeople say, wait, wait, wait
(13:20):
John, John, that's called mimic. No, it's matching the mirror when
you start speaking, then you dowhat they do. It's just matching mirror.
Mimic is I'm gonna uh, Igo uh, that's a mimic and
we're not doing that. That's whatthat's being rout and disrespectful. People go,
well, what, John, John, John, that's a manipulation.
Well, no, it's just calledcommunication, effective communication. I said,
(13:43):
now, what's really manipulation? Ladiesthat don't get mad when they say this?
When when when you put makeup onit, when you put de order,
when I'll smell the way that youdon't smell, A look the way
that you want to look. Right. So I get this a lot from
a lot of people. So I'mjust bringing this up. So when you
use this stuff and actually get thisstuff done and learn how to communicate effectively,
(14:05):
your whole life would completely change.So listen to me, guys.
I have my book on a kindle. It just can connecting with your team.
It's only for two dollars ninety nineteen. I'm gonna give this for the
month of September and Noodle school startedand parents need some tools. So that's
going on in the world. Igot paperback and uh it's offcover as well
(14:28):
as well as hardcover. So let'slisten to me. I had a great
time, guys. Uh. Ilove to talk to you guys sooner than
later. UH website and doctor generaldot com through right down, UH doctor
Org doctor jenneral dot org would beup uh by the end of the month,
so I'm pretty jazz about that aswell. There's gonna be nothing but
parents and team stuff and I'm partship. I'm part partnership with all the
(14:48):
different types of organizations business as well, so we can actually get to the
message up across, so we canactually add ten times a value to the
parents. Guys, take care andGod bless until next time. Bye for no
Hello, about a Welcome to theDoctor's Corner with doctor John Old that I
am Jazz Today. Today we hadkind of have a very great UH program.
It's called connecting with your team.Of course about about the book.
But I got this from the gymand I went to a UH today,
UH, I go to I goto gym six days a week, Monday
to Saturday. And I had agreat conversation. But before, of course
(00:24):
we started the conversation, let meexplain to you about the show. Why
I do the show, the wholenine yards right, So I've been in
the mental field for two thirds ofmy life. I love what I do.
I like working with parenting teams.UH. To me, it's not
parenting, it's just communication. Ithink everybody have different parenting styles. You
know, Black folks, race kidsa little bit different than white people and
(00:46):
Asian people and Indian people. Soeveryone have different type of parenting styles.
I believe the common denominator is communication. If you don't know how to communicate
with your child, the bully,will, the drug ular will you know?
The gang banger? Will somebody will? Right? Or else? People
say I live in a great neighborhood, Well you're at risk. Anyway,
(01:06):
I think I believe all kids areat risk. And here's the reason why.
Right, if you live, likeyou know in h under privilege area,
well you have to find the ways. And also it's for your money
to get money. And I sayin Irvine, if you live in Irvine,
well you're a fooling area. Sonot only your parents get is give
you your money. Right? IsIrvine have or Orange County have the highest
(01:27):
rate of sour side the highest rateof drugs. It's suicide is because of
course the parents for a lot ofpressure on them to get great grades.
Right Uh, and for drugs isthey got access to money. Right.
So I believe that all kids areare at risk. You know why it
or not? All kids are soso so let's move on. So I've
(01:49):
been doing this for two thirds ofmy life. Love what they do,
it's great. Uh. The reasonwhy I work for I think with anybody
to be truely honest about to youbecause I do know. I do life
coaching, business coaching, and andmind coaching as well. So I do
a lot of the coaching part.But I when when someone walks into me,
they're like a calipillar. Right,calling on this timic, right,
(02:10):
But I know that we're gonna gothrough a metamorphosis. Change it to that
butterfly. And I believe that everybodygoes through their metamorphosis, if it's as
a child, if it's as anadult. Sometimes it go to metamorphosis a
lot in a different times in theirlives. Because we do two things in
life. We win and we learnedmost of the times, you know,
you know, you know, andmost science we're in the learning stages,
(02:30):
you know, the one in thestage we don't really learned that much.
Is it just feels great? Right? So the biggest goal and the reason
why did I wanted to do thisbecause I I found out there's a big
need with communication and with your teens. You know, when I was growing
up, we didn't have the Internet, we didn't have a lot of we're
enough social media, we didn't havea lot of stuff. I guy,
(02:51):
if we did, it would bea completely different world. So what your
child is going through it is completelyamazing. There's so much, there's so
much up to grab their attention,you know, I mean they got Internet,
they got the crazy games, theygot all these crazy things going on,
And where is your parents had rightnow? So how is the parents
grabbing their attention? You know?So because you gotta work. Sometimes you
(03:15):
work two jobs and three jobs,sometimes you work three kids. When this
time, how can you spend timewith Johnny? And those are the uh,
those are those are the problems.Right. So what I always do,
and most times I do, Igive myself. I give you guys
a couple of gifts and a coupleof rules. Because the number one goes
not for you to listen to it, but for you to apply something that
you listen to, something that's gonnaresonate with you. Someone's gonna like grab
(03:38):
you. That's what you're grab right. So the first thing I always say
is have fun. And when Isay have fun, when know when I
see parents, know all of themare stressed out, they're at their ways.
They mean they can't do it Johnnyor Sue, and they're just just
so much because they don't have asystem. Think about this business. We
have a system and everything that themost couple pies for. Our system is
like a mcgonnads are Starbucks? Fine, most parents and they don't have a
(04:01):
system inside their pens. And sowhat it is you're in your household,
you're one of three types of peopleI'm expanding on. Imagine the clock.
Yeah, the clock is a twelveor three in the six. Either you
are the leader of your family andeverything runs through you, and most of
them, let's see families, that'snever the case, maybe Timberson of the
(04:23):
cases, that's the parents are theleaders. Then number three, the parents
are the friend, the parents switchedfrom being a parent to a friend.
And last but not at least,you're of you're the joker. Kids don't
even kids don't even even as respectyou right now. Could you come from
the joker or a friend to theleader. Absolutely, but it's I'll take
(04:45):
some hard work, take some soI'll take some really hard work to get
to that point. Right. Butlet's go backwards. It's a lot of
parents who want to be their kidsfriends telling what's going on, and I
get a program I bought that that'snot You're not never supposed to be your
kid friends. You can be friendlyto your kids, but never the friends,
because when you be your friends,you're crossed the line of being a
(05:05):
parent. Again. To watch theother show explain even more of that.
So, but that's the biggest concept, right, So, my biggest thing
is to have fun. You know. My second thing is I have an
open line. A lot of stuffyou're gonna hear. You might not like
that's okay, but there's an it'sgonna resonate that you need to apply it
(05:26):
if you want to actually create thelife that you want to deserve with your
kids, if you want to connectwith them in a way that my God,
it's like, for example, Igive you a great example, Like
my dad died about nine years agoat ninety ones would have been a hundred
right now. And my mom diedh five years ago, she would have
been eighty, she would have beenninety one, is right. So but
when they died, all the silverand stuff that we were the favorite,
(05:50):
and we was fighting. I waslaughing. I said, I'm like,
God, that's great parents and skills, or that's great communication skills, because
everybody's gonna have my own parents andstyle and parents and stuff. But it's
not about parents, and it's aboutcommunication. How do I communicate with my
kid, If my kid trust me, if my kid like me, or
(06:12):
vice versa, Do I get thatvibe that I'm on the same page.
Because here's the biggest challenge about it, right you still gotta gain or apport
with it to your child bytom mine. If you don't, somebody will,
right so from that day on,and so I would, and then or
(06:35):
I spend out at least allow meto to to be your coach and your
mentor. What's the coach? What'sa mentor? To see a coach?
I could coach you on parents?And I absolutely I can and they could
be a phenomenal parent. Anybody amentor. I've been there and no that
I have a really a busting thatI come from a family of ten.
I'm eight of ten, have sixsisters and three brothers. Parents was married
(06:58):
for sixty seven years before they died, and they're happily married, so I
know what a marriage would actually looklike. Have one hundred and twenty twentiess
and nephews all over the place,so huge family. But in the Missis
house field for crazy years, overa hundred thousand kids that I worked with
with ninety percent success rate. Andhow I define success rate is that they
(07:20):
went to either a trade school andgraduate or they got their bachelors or their
masters and PhDs. We have wehave medical docts, we have literally everything.
Nurses social workers, commercial parties.In the last or twenty some years,
we have literally everything. So I'mthat's really what I'm proud about.
And probably this day, I getso many people, so many grown kids,
you know, calling me Dad still, which is a really a uh
(07:42):
a honor and a blessing, youknow, So I don't take that likely,
but it's a it's a it's aphenomenal feeling. So this is the
this is what I do. Andof course you know around me, be
your coach, guys. My jobis to push you behind your thinking and
the work in your community, caseskills, you can connect with your connect
with your team or preteen because ifyou don't, somebody else will. So
(08:07):
that's one of the biggest things aboutit. If you don't, somebody else
will. So the name of theshow is connecting with your change. And
of course let's name of the book. But the reason why I did this
program, all right, I've beenspeaking to people at the gym, right
and this lady told me, sheasked me today, mean I don't like
my I don't like my I don'tlike my car, I don't like my
daughter. I said, what doyou mean? She said, we don't
(08:30):
get along. I said, i'dyou try to gain report with her?
She said I I shouldn't. Shouldn'tgain report with her? I had her
she should just liked me automatically.I said, well, yes or no?
Do you got Do you spend timewith her? Do you connect with
her? Do you figure out waywhat she likes? Everything else? Nothing?
I said, So here's a problem. You have not gained rapport with
(08:52):
your daughter. That says the sameway that you're gaining report with the people
that you see at work, orthe people that you want to your friends,
worth or anything else. You think, that's the exact same way.
You can't report with your daughter.You have to build a relationship. And
the way she disrupted said, yourdaughter's very kindness to like she's inside of
her feelings. She can feel whenyou want to talk to her, I
(09:13):
feel when you don't want to talkto her without based on where you're gonna
be at. So I said tothat, if you want to get that
relationship with your daughter, you can. It is report. So I'm give
you what I gave it to German, and I gave you a quick version
game. I couldn't give you along version, right, I said that
I imagine you're going to to themall. How would you introduce yourself to
(09:35):
five people? And then she said, well that's some high how you doing?
My name is x Y and zay. I said, okay, and
or you or this looking ice orI gotta love your hair or okay,
great, So I said it.Now, in the way that you connect
with the people, there's by words. So I'm i'm a break down three
ways of how to gain report toanybody. I would go a little bit
further, which I do, ofcourse, and then sometimes a workshop.
(09:58):
But and of course my book couldconnecting with your teen Prickson down't even more
right, But for right now andwhat it is, I say that the
first way to get a poor witha person is the words they use.
So the words they use equal sevenpercent. So if you're trying to get
connected with your teens or your preteens or your husband or whoever, by
(10:20):
words, you're only gonna connect sevenpercent of the time. And that's it,
no more, no less. There'ssome consciously he's well subconsciously, so
so consciously is gonna go oh mygod. So if you say yay,
yay, I know I want usbig car. And if you say I
want this big car, you you'regonna connect with them. But do you
say I wants a huge car,You're not gonna connect it because not because
because you're a big and huge mightbe the same thing, but it's not
(10:41):
the words he's using. So thewords that they use it on a constant
basis, that's what you use,and you're gonna connect with from seven percent
of the time. The second wayis tone temple trinality is thirty eight percent.
So they're speaking slow like this,and you speak slow like this,
you're gonna connect with them. Ifyou speak fast like it's hard. You
(11:03):
don't me fast move you gotta connectwith them. So what it is,
I watch their tone, their tempoand tonality at the pace. If they
talk loud or a slow or slowwhatever that it takes place right and last
penalists this yeology party. If theymove their hands, they're moving their hands
ten thousand most an hour. WhenI'm speaking, I'm doing the same thing.
Uh while watching my head, Iwatch my boundaries, and I taught
(11:26):
her if you use these three ways, and these three ways only you you
you first have to listen to what'sgoing on and watch and do assessment and
you again report what's your daughter begures? What you're not doing. You're not
watching her, you're not figuring outif if she if she's talking loud and
soft, and she said, ohmy god. She says, I didn't
(11:48):
know. I didn't know any ofthis stuff. And I says, a
lot of people just do it naturally. They do it easily, naturally,
and it's just part of who theyare. A lot of people actually struggle
with it. I said, whichone like you? And you're struggling with
it? I said, if youdo this stuff, you'll be finding So
when I see it's the gym againtomorrow, let me know what's going on.
I set the protects and stuff witheverybody. And of course we have
more advanced skills here. I mean, after a visual or auditorial, what's
(12:09):
the motivational stuff? We can reallygoing on more stuff than that. Right,
So that's the trip that I wantto get all parents out here.
And it's I I'm so sorry tonot mention it. If you guys are
listening to the show, thank you. I know you guys are spending your
time, your energy whatever listening itis to me and my number one goal
is to add ten times of value. So if you're listening to me for
(12:33):
five, ten, twenty mental atleast, I'm gonna put something inside your
life so you can ask you lookat it, and you can notice the
patterns and figure out how I canconnect better with my child or even when
you so you can use this stuffchild, husband, career, professional,
everywhere you know people who know it'sme. At the gym, I talked
to everybody, literally everybody have differentconversations, different stuff, because my number
(12:56):
one thing about is I whant toconnect with them. I mean, you
know, this is this is whoI am, this is this is what
I do. Right, So,so here's gonna be your assignment. I'm
gonna give out this assignment today.Your assignment is going to be is figure
out what words people are using andstart using them more often to on tip
of tonality. Same thing because theologypeople say, wait, wait, wait
(13:20):
John, John, that's called mimic. No, it's matching the mirror when
you start speaking, then you dowhat they do. It's just matching mirror.
Mimic is I'm gonna uh, Igo uh, that's a mimic and
we're not doing that. That's whatthat's being rout and disrespectful. People go,
well, what, John, John, John, that's a manipulation.
Well, no, it's just calledcommunication, effective communication. I said,
(13:43):
now, what's really manipulation? Ladiesthat don't get mad when they say this?
When when when you put makeup onit, when you put de order,
when I'll smell the way that youdon't smell, A look the way
that you want to look. Right. So I get this a lot from
a lot of people. So I'mjust bringing this up. So when you
use this stuff and actually get thisstuff done and learn how to communicate effectively,
(14:05):
your whole life would completely change.So listen to me, guys.
I have my book on a kindle. It just can connecting with your team.
It's only for two dollars ninety nineteen. I'm gonna give this for the
month of September and Noodle school startedand parents need some tools. So that's
going on in the world. Igot paperback and uh it's offcover as well
(14:28):
as well as hardcover. So let'slisten to me. I had a great
time, guys. Uh. Ilove to talk to you guys sooner than
later. UH website and doctor generaldot com through right down, UH doctor
Org doctor jenneral dot org would beup uh by the end of the month,
so I'm pretty jazz about that aswell. There's gonna be nothing but
parents and team stuff and I'm partship. I'm part partnership with all the
(14:48):
different types of organizations business as well, so we can actually get to the
message up across, so we canactually add ten times a value to the
parents. Guys, take care andGod bless until next time. Bye for no
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