September 18, 2023 • 29 mins
This session is about having the right environment to raise your child. I give examples of how to create this environment. My website www.drjohnoda.com
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Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello everybody. My name is doctorJohn, and thank you soo much for
joining me today. You we areat the doctor's corner. Well, doctor
John, older guys in putting youyesterday. So of course, let me
hit to five gifts. Who Iam the whole nine yards and the name
of the show is the power ofa Village. It's the name of the
(00:23):
show. But let's go backwards,so let me tell you who I am
first and foremost. Let me giveyou my five gifts of my my one
rule that I actually have and mybiggest goal. When I give you these
five gifts, I want you guysto get something from the show. And
I just don't want to be atalking head. I don't want to be
x Y and Z. I wantyou to get some of them the show
so you can use this. Iown your preteen as well as your team,
(00:45):
right, and you can understand conceptsand strategies how to take your family
to that next level. Is thatuh? Yes or yes? I heard
somebody say yes, beautiful, let'sdo it. Okay, So my first
gift across to have fun. Right. I'd meet so many parents right and
they say they're stressed out and they'reworried Johnny's not doing this, so Sue's
not doing this, right a man, they're there are problems that are challenges.
(01:07):
You guys get all. It's almostlike winning back in the day as
captain, I take me away,right. So my biggest thing I don't
remember you know, if he's ateenager, just say thirteen fourteen years ago
before you had a teenager and hewas just excitement, this passion that you
had about having a kid and teachingthem values and strategy. Just tell you
guys were growing up and some ofyou guys might have a decent childhood.
(01:30):
Okay childhood, a great childhood,but you wanted those kids right now you
have them. Nine, guy,gave you the best and to have the
kids a nine stressed out. Sohere it goes for the next yeah,
twenty thirty minutes. I want tobring back the passion and the excitement that
you want, saying right when youwere gonna have the kids right, And
I know you guys everyone loved theirkids to death, but sometimes they can
(01:51):
become a challenge here or so right, but here it goes right. So
so that right there, I wantyou to have fun. Let me tell
you what I do when I havefun? Right, right, I crack
jokes. I sing. If youguys ever heard of glut of vandels?
A singing like glut of vandels meeta wounded moose? Right, but I
love second bowling. Whatever, Whatdo you ask? What's what's fun for
(02:12):
you? Right down? What's fun? Then? If you guys are driving
driving, put it inside your mind'seye view. What is fun for you?
So my first gift to have fun? Yeah, so yes, all
right? If we got an amen, beautiful, let's move forward. If
you guys can't go to Sunday,If you guys didn't go to church on
Sunday, I'm taking you back tothe churches today. Great. My next
gift is to have an open mind. Oh that's a big one, right,
(02:38):
So let me tell you what Isay, have an open mind?
Right. Everybody have parenting styles.You know. Somebody could be black,
folks, white polks, blue,green, polka dot. We all have
parents and styles. Right. I'mteaching you guys communication how to connect with
it. And sometimes you say yeah, yeah, yeah I know. If
yeah yeah, yeah, I know, and you're not doing it, you
don't know it. Right, Sothe question I have is up in your
(03:00):
mind, your body, your heart, and your soul. One day I
went to see Tony Robbins right tobe geez, thirty plus years ago,
right, and Tony was talking abouthaving an open mind. And I'm thinking
that he's talking to me a littlebit grandiosis. But you know you guys,
gets to point right. So here'swhat Tony said. Tony says,
we live in a box. Weyou know, as we as we watch
a box, we're talking the box, we're driving the box, and we're
(03:21):
work in a box. And sometimeswe're in a box. I meaning that
we don't see outside our comfort zone. My outcome, this takes you beyond
your thinking. Push you and pushyou and push you so you get your
breakthrough and hopefully you get a breakthrough on this show right here, so
you can actually do something with yourchild, your team and your preaching whatever.
Right, let's take a little break, guys, forgot to say this
(03:43):
earlier, but thank you so muchfor joining me on us on the show.
If you're driving, I hope I'mintending enough for to make you drive
exciting. Right, if you're listening, just on there, if you if
you got me at the gym,whatever, thank you so much. I
do appreciate it. If it's daytime, nighttime, even time, whatever.
Thank you from the b of myheart. Let's set back to the gifts,
right, So on the open themind. I want to open your
(04:04):
mind, your body, your heart, and your soul so you can get
some strategy, some tools. Becauseas you guys know and listen to me,
when I was growing up, right, do it back in the eighties,
right, eighties and forty years,lady's completely different from this day and
age. I mean completely different.We're talking about we have social media right
now, and we have the bullying. We always have the bullying, but
not on social media. Right.We have so much stuff that we see.
(04:26):
We have a phone right now thatthese kids can get any access if
they want. Parents are not checkingtheir phones. Oh my goodness, I've
seen uh you know kids are onport hub. Huh. And then when
they when the little kids are onport Hub, this is how they think
sexist. But if they don't check, if the parents don't check the phones,
there's gonna be a challenge. Right, So we have so much stuff
going on. My heart comes outhere. You have an open mind,
(04:50):
follow some strategies and some tools,so you so you can take your of
your child, your preteen or teensthat next level. Can you ever open
mind? Yes or yes? Beautiful. My third gift is to do it
now. You hear it something,you write it down, and you do
(05:10):
it. Do not wait to saythat, do it tomorrow. Right.
And one time I went to atime management program, right, that's where
I did. It was great.I'm like, man, I'm gonna use
this stuff. I'm gonna use it. Lemna use it. That never took
place, right, and I hadthe same issues again, just a different
day. Right. So when youhear something, do it now, right.
And I have one rule and onerule only, no excuse management menu
(05:35):
that you don't want to hear noextuses from your child preteen, noor teen,
I don't hear no ex uses fromyou. Just do it, guys.
This is for you, This isfor you to be to enhance your
parenting skills. Here's a sad thingabout it. We didn't have a manual
to say this is how you raisea kid. No manu came up there,
right, But what did come upthere? You know you, guys,
(05:57):
you learned from trials and tribulations fromhow you were raised. Right.
So and that's it. At last, but not least, allow me to
be your coaching mentor? What's thecoaching? What's a mentor? I know,
I said five, it just gotfour. What's the coach and what's
the mentor? Cause I know somebodygrabbed me and I said my I said,
I sound like for it. You'reright. What's the coach in the
mentor? I You're right. Somebodysaid a coaches. Somebody can coach you
(06:19):
a being uh, parenting skills orcommunication skills or absolutely I can coach you
on being AH of how to disciplineyour kid, or a better parenting skills,
how to work with them, tohave ADHD or depression or suicide at
temps or substance abuse whatever. Icoach in all those things and make you
amazing A mentor have been there anddone that right so that it goes.
(06:42):
I come from a family of ten. I'm eight of ten, but I'll
come from one hundred and twenty twentnieces and nephews. Yes, I'm an
uncle great uncle Gregor. We getuncle. And I've worked with or for
three hundred thousand kids in the lastthirty six years. So I've it made
me into I've seen that I've beenthere. Uh, nothing fazes me when
it comes to adolescents, to theteens and preteens, nothing fazes me at
(07:04):
all. Uh, strategies I havebecause I've worked with this population for so
long, right, you know,so so I can culture on that one.
Right and in the mentor and partis I've said I've been there and
done that. Something about me mylife story, uh said again. I'm
born Michigan City, and is itis Indiana born and raised, uh forty
(07:27):
five minutes or I'm west of Chicago. Matter of fact, when I was
growing up, had a severe stutteringproblem. I mean severy couldn't really say
my name at school around my friends. I was pretty cool, right,
you know, it was relaxed andstuff. So it took place. I
remember when we went to a privateschool called Saint Mary's right and Michigan City,
Indiana's closed now Uh huh, sadlyto say, but going to that
(07:48):
school, I had we had anun Oh my god, she was jeez
interestingly mean. She she wanted tomeet my mom and dad. She wanted
to meet my mother and this andat the first time my mom. So
my mom was a midnight nurse.And when I told mom, she came
by two or three days later.When she left, she and then you
know, we met him and Iwas playing with some little cards and stuff
(08:09):
toys and J like it was yesterday, right, And I said, you
know, do I leave? Andshe said no, no, no,
us stay. And you know,she said, John, it's a good
kid. And I said about yeah, I have a good kid, right,
he's very likable. Yeah, you'reright about that. And then she
said something that just totally changed mylife. It was like being struck by
lightning until in the after shock,and I was really shocked after looking back,
(08:30):
coming from the from a leadership rolethat she was in. Here's what
you said, John would never graduateeighth grade because he is because he is
retarded, and we think he shouldgo to a special group, a group
home and all this crazy ass stuffthat she was talking about. Right,
And I'm right here and I'm likeeighth grade and I'm retarded. Wow.
(08:52):
Now I'd imagine my mom was aboutfive foot five, five foot four,
big go affrow back in the seventies. Mom said, that's John leave.
They all leave. Of course,guys. I stayed, pres got when
they had stipulations cause they don't wantto lose the money, right, you
know, if we had the kidsin the grade school as well, was
in high school, and there's money, right, So you know, so
(09:13):
I stayed the vestipulations hard to goto speech therapy. That's a nice guy
named mister Anderson. He says,you know, when you tell people say
Hi, I'm John, I stutteryuck. I was embarrassed with that.
No one else said that. Isaid, I want right, John,
I'm stutter. I don't see peoplesaying, Hi, my name is John.
I F kenson. Why do youwant me to wear this identity on
me? That's another one. Thatwould be another that would be a different
(09:35):
program identities. It's gonna be aI I didentity need to make me better.
But anyway, that's a different program. So we'll stop right there.
So you know, I was embarrassed, and of course, you know,
I went to speech therapy three timesa week, X, Y and Z.
The following year I was back infirst grade. Didn't tell me why,
but that's how it was. Andbut my mom said something did stay
(10:00):
with me. My mother said,son, your father studied, your grandfather
studied, and they overcame it.And so will you. Those are the
words I use, Those are thewords I kept. Those are the words
like okay, all right. Ittook me twenty eight years, but you
know that was a belief. Youknow, that was ah. You know,
sometimes that's you know, we havetwo different times. There's our timing
that we want it done yesterday,and it's God timing, you know,
(10:22):
and sometimes God time and might takea little bit longer. But I had
to go through the trials and shoand tribulations and working with myself to make
me work so well with adolescents,and all my adolescents have a there's success
rate for all my adolescents. Andsuccess for me is that I went to
college or trade school or something andthey got a career and then making a
phenomenal life with themselves. And notsaying that people who don't go to college
(10:48):
it's not like that, but thisis how I that's that's my measurement of
success. Right. You gotta havea trade. You have to have something
that you can bring in income atyou know, that's just for me and
you know, and I live inearth iron when you right now and then
these people are they even go ata different level. I mean you know,
you have to you know all youknow, Orange County or Irvine area
have the highest suicide rate is radyin America. And the reason why it
(11:11):
is cause the parents are so hardon the kids, say that they pressure
them to do X, y andZ and and and to me, it's
amazing when you have to have thatmuch pressure on the kid, especially when
they're going through high school, becausethis is when they learned a lot of
their strategies and tools and they haveand then we and they're all they're they're
already going through challenges already to selfesteem and the confidence of girls boys,
(11:33):
the whole nine yards, right,and the added on this Again, that's
a different show as well. Sohere goes. The name of the show
is God, Oh the power ofa village. Now, when I was
growing up and says it says totake a village to raise a child.
And then I used to hear thatstuff. I said, I'm not really
(11:54):
sure about that. We'll have todoing some researcher. Absolutely right, you
just take a power. It doestake a village to raise a child.
Right, So let me explain toyou the long view as well as strict
few so growing up right, mymom, who used to be a preacher
kid. Right, And when shemoved to Michigan City and she wanted to
(12:16):
have the kids she wanted, shewanted to have her kids go to a
private school, right. And whatshe had to do is, back in
the fifties, you had to becomea Catholic. So imagine her dad's a
Baptist minister and she have a relationshipwith her dad, she's nown switching to
being Catholic, and all the kidsaround and we grew up Catholic. Right.
(12:39):
So when you're having that, ofcourse your friends are saying, well,
uh uh, you know why you'retrying to be white? Why are
you trying to be around white people? And she was hearing that. But
mom and dad had an outcome.The outcome is that they wanted a better
environment for their children to see doctorsand lawyers on a daily basis. Right.
(13:01):
So what happened was she took itall, but she didn't outcome that
Mom and dad stuck two of theirguns. Rest in peace, Mamma,
Dad, thank you so much fordoing that. So what happened was we
were in our private school, right. So being in the private school,
I saw sometimes completely different I didn'thave to go to the public school.
There's nothing wrong with going to apublic schools because because Arline had the best
(13:22):
school system in the world and thepublic schools, that's great. But we're
talking about you know, back,you know, you know, fifty sixty
and seventies, eighties and always throughright, a little bit different error,
right, So you know, soI had classmates. I swear they're like
family. I Saint Mary's kids.I love'em. We are a literally
family. Even geez, forty yearslater, man, we're family, and
(13:46):
it's been for yeah, forty yearslater, forty five years later, the
wish to a family. I considerthem as being family, and I spent
a lot of time with them,like I spent time with mom and dad.
Right. But you know, eventually, you you're gonna make friends,
all right. So when you makefriends, you're gonna be around the kids
and the family and everything else.And that's another thing. Parents, if
(14:07):
you have not introduced yourself to thekids, parents, don't have them hang
around. You need to know whattype of environment that your kids are going
to. I know some people sayI don't have time at work, Well,
you need to meet people their kidsparents to figure out if they're coming
from a good family and what's theiroutcome. Right, So let me just
(14:28):
play you back of my childhood,right and who I had in my family
and and hour probably out of ourten of my friends, right, I
love these guys love their parents.Spend so much time at their uh at
their house, so much time playingaround, you know, and growing up
at and going to Saint Mary's.We had parents at the school so for
(14:52):
lunch time, you know, andso the teachers can take a break.
The parents was out there, right. So some parents, man, we
couldn't do it nothing around because it'sbeing on our own parents, right.
And some of these parents that didn'tplay some of my parents a little bit
nicely leading in the league. Weknew what parents actually deal with, right,
So let me so let me gofirst. So first my very first
parent that I loved, the deathMan, and you know, and then
(15:15):
mister Bremmer right now, and he'sprivate and in his eighties right now.
Uh uh, mister Bremmer. Helooks like the hot cooking you know,
big old guy, big mustache,big old muscles and stuff. We call
him the enforcer. Worked at themill. I remember when I you know,
so when I got one, uhmy first car, he was my
cool center for my car. Imean these but mister Bremmer was amazing.
(15:37):
He was like he was the enforcer. Right. And here's the cool thing
about it, right, everybody thatI hunged out with parents, wise,
kids, wise, parse of meis them right. So you know from
mister Bremmer, I'm I'm I'm I'mthe enforcer. I'm six foot seven,
you know. Uh, I'm theenforcer. You know. Then we had
(15:58):
mister Camper, right, So meand Dan, So, I mean,
so all these guys we played basketball, ticularly most of'em. Right.
So mister Brimmer and I am hRobby and I we played ball together.
Uh, mister Campbell, uh Danand I. We were the only black
kids after school. I I meanit's at the time, right, So
ah Dan, uh dad was heworked at the mill, but he was
(16:18):
a pastor, right, and hewould tell his Bible quotes and the spiritual
stuff and every ten hours and andand and they would literally what my parents
would teach me to do. Itactually ingrained even more. I'm like,
oh my god, I mean youshould do this. Your parents work hard.
You know, your dad worked twojobs you know, two jobs in
working the weekend because he had tenkids. So you know, so we
had to do it every year.He had to do you know, but
you the mom was a midnight nurse, right, So but you know,
(16:41):
these people was it was it.It took a village, you know,
and and and mister and uh andmister Campbell was great. It was phenomenal.
Man, God wrested so I thinkhe died about ten years ago,
but you know, and then wehad uh, mister Russell. Mister Rustbell
was the business man, right,so he would so he owned like three
(17:02):
or four shells. So I startto go in there and you would get
to the current fix. I talkedto him. He would stop and talk
to me. Oh my god,and it's like mine, it's just he's
a businessman. I mean he hadowned businesses and everything else. It was
a cool thing. Now the resportshad about eight kids. We had ten,
so a lot of our kids,we know, we're pretty much in
the same class. Matt was ourpoint guard. Uh it's on the basketball
(17:25):
team, right. So but youknow, it was a fun thing.
It was a going to the houseand talk. I mean I spent a
lot of times at all these peoplehomes, right, But we had mister
Palmer. Right, So mister Palmerwas a basketball coach and he was a
coach, and he was a philosophertoo, and he would tell us stuff
and and he worked to business uhup phos Sam and and and he was
a business owner as well. Iwould go buy the place because his place
(17:47):
was right by the school. SoI would walk over there and talk to
mister Palmer and he'd give me sometips about how to be a better basketball
player, but also how to bea better businessman and what do you do
and everything else. It was justphenomenal. Right. Then we had mister
Greetam. Mister Greetham was U acolonel uh and the Marines, and he
was of the true philosopher stories.She would tell her about the about the
(18:11):
Marines and everything else. And andper term house we would do sleepovers,
flag swimming parties on the weekend.Man that would do some crazy soft Jesus,
Mary and Joseph so flappy the mommy my brands and know what we
did on that one. But butyou know, they still endorsed it out.
They still endorsed it in basic.They still in and philosophy is funny
(18:33):
that you said. That is myPhDs in philosophy, emphasis and psychology.
It's funny, how Uh. Thepeople that we hang out with, we
you know, it's just there,you know, but it's just it was
just amazing thing. Right. Iremember one time I was playing basketball.
I was like seventh grade, maybeseventh, going to eighth, and I
(18:56):
was playing basketball and I knew theseI knew a couple of all the guys
I was playing basketball, you know. But know since some guys from the
neighborhood. You know the funny partabout it. So we lived we went
to all white school, but Ilived in a mixed neighborhood, so it
was predominantly black, because back inthe day, you couldn't live in a
white neighborhood. You know, backin the Midwestern stuff was a little bit
different rules down, but it wasnot about money. It was about a
social and class and then put youthere. So went to all white school.
(19:18):
I think we we're the first blackfamily in the whole school, but
I think we only had about maybethree or four black family's total. Uh.
And I live in all black neighborhood. Man black white, but it's
predominantly black, right, so II remember one day and eighth grade,
I was playing basketball and I knewand then I knew these kids and stuff
and and you know, I hadsome money and put the money back.
(19:40):
I remember I put the money inthere, played baschool on the lesson was
getting dark outside, right, soI was like, okay, I need
to go go home. And Iwas started. I said, guys said
a great game, gotta go,no big deals. It was. It
was a stalling brothers. And Iwas jogging down home and I saw these
guys follow me. Man, what'sthese guys trying to follow me? And
I was trying to and I waswent home, no big deal, following,
(20:02):
running, running, running, andI saw the the the running right
after me. Him like, man, my sall's going on? Right?
So like an idiot, but itwas back then. I was cut through
the alley, cut through the alley. Two guys, who's in front of
me? Three guys behind me?I said, man, no, manber,
what's going on? Birl bro?And one of the guys that I
never met, he's in Chicago.He says, give me the money.
(20:22):
So what do you mean to giveyou money? Get get give me your
damn money, man or else Ishoot you. You put a gun out,
I said, oh, man,hello, really man, you gonna
shoot me over some I think itmaybe eight ten bucks inside my pocket and
didn't really shoot me. Man.He put the gun to my head.
This is no exaggeration. He pulledthe trigger, nothing happening, and so
(20:48):
I thought it was a fake gun. He put the gun and up in
the air and shot the damn agun and the gun went off. I
gave him my money. I wasscared as hell, went to my cousin's
house, called the ops, tildthe cops would happened till the cops even
who did it, that's what happened. Nothing. It was a black on
(21:08):
black crime. So they didn't reallycarry back then and didn't care that.
I didn't care about me. Theydidn't care about if I lived. They
didn't care about I die. It'sblack and black girl, because there's just
one or another black man being deador another black boy being dead, but
another black person. And at thattime I had a h A did I
(21:30):
hate for the police because what theydid and what they did not do.
But of course, through years ofchilds and tribulations, I understand everybody's different.
I have many friends right now whoare as police officers. Right.
But I but I had to moveforward. It was a serious challenge to
(21:51):
actually face and to go through,you know, as a child, seeing
that and knowing that if the personwas a different race, it would they
would have been treated completely different.See what people don't understand it. I
tell people, listen to everyone rightback in the Midwest is black and white.
Racism is black and white Irvine.Racism is money. If you have
(22:11):
money, and in most cases youdon't give it down where you live it
or where you stay because you havethe money and resources afford that. The
Midwest south East coast completely different.And when people are not from that area,
when I tell them this story,they go, oh my god,
you exaggerated bullshit. But then Idid not exaggerate. The reason why I
didn't exaggerate because it happened, andit happens all the time. Not on
(22:33):
being a little bit older and alittle bit of wiser, I understand what
you have to do, what youcan do in the environment that you have
to keep right. People always askpeople, even the fecial black people,
why do you live in Irvine environmentinfluency and so say, if you places
in the freaking world. I don'twant to be anywhere else. That's not
who I am. Right, Sothose are those smaller things completely shaped my
(22:57):
destiny, right, you know.And uh? And then so we had
a basketball right team, two blackguys, all white guys, and Saint
Mary's did never beat any of thehigh schools or any of anything else.
We beat everybody. We were Wewere the dream We were the dream team.
We were small. Look as Catholicschool beating you know, the the
(23:18):
the grade schools that we played eighthgrade or seventh, eighth grade and ninth
grade team. We beat everybody,right because we played together since we're a
third and fourth, third and fourthgrade, you know. So we knew,
I mean, I could kill theball, and I knew that Dana
brob Grouse would be right there.Right then we had Bob Grouse, right,
Bob Greuse had a mom, herthe dad of us. I never
saw it that much, my man, but that mom had like six boys,
(23:41):
and she was a beast. Shedid not take any mess at all.
Nothing can put nothing past missus Groovesat all, yes, ma'am,
No, ma'am. And I thinkuh, and a lot of the gun
and a lot of my friends andthat a lot of'em. But half
of my friends that went to schoolwith my brother, right, So my
brother and I were about reaching youas a partent, all right, So
they went to school with him,so a lot of them they knew of
(24:03):
him or they knew him personally,right to allow, It's another challenge in
being prepared being compared to my brother. Oh my god, brother was a
good looking, like god, greatathlete, straight age student, and I'm
like, my god, why didwhy did mom give him everything? But
but but it was great as itmeans. So what I'm saying is that
(24:27):
it takes a village to raise achild, literally checking village to raise a
child. And if you look atyour if you look at your kids right
now and you're preteens and teens,and look at the parents, are they
focused on the same thing that you'refocused on? So they have the same
(24:48):
belief systems? Do they have thesame values? Because they Because the reason
why I say that is because whenyou're not around, that's what's gonna be
taught, lack it or not.That's why I really push parents into finding
out what's taking place. Finding outOkay, you know, I know that
(25:11):
is this is Johnny parents good enoughto hang out with my kids. A
lot of times I'd go home,Mama, I got new friends, and
mom meet their parents. Boy,don't hang out with those boys. Why
not. Look they're not gonna goanywhere. And my god, where they
that They must have a crystal ball, because they're right, they didn't go
anywhere. They were troublemakers. Butkids, you know, you wanna hang
(25:33):
around with kids. You wanna beaccepted, you wanna be loved, you
wanna be all these crazy things jazz. You're growing up in the suns and
about this some most a lot ofpeople feel the exact same way, even
now and as being an adult.So my biggest thing about it is it
takes the power of a village.It takes a village ship to raise your
child. Look at their friends thatyou hang out with, figure out the
(25:56):
parents that's going on, and figureout it was it was my child headed
down the right path because all thepeople that are named, Oh my god,
this is there's more people that wehave. Mister Showtz, we have
missus Mazach, we have so manyI had so many parents that had the
same court values as my parents andI believe without a doubt that's why I
(26:19):
became the person of who I amright now. Because it was great parenting,
but it was a great village andit was a great environment that made
me who I am today. Sothere those guys. I it wrote a
book called connect Him with Your Teenback in two thousand and five or sex
(26:40):
or something like that, right,and I had an old published. His
company dropped her, dropped him aboutit. Man about I'm a year or
so ago. I'm on Amazon rightnow, and so I'm doing a special
for September. So it's called Connectingwith Your Teen by doctor John Odah.
It's only for two dollars and ninetynine cents. I'm kindom, that's all
it is. I'm not raising theprice up for the whole September. I
want to give parents something. Then. It's a great book. My mom
(27:03):
told me this. Mom told meI was I was pretty jack. She
says, I wish I had thisbook when I was having kids, cause
it was it's it's the foundation ofwhat I needed. And I said,
Mom, I said, we cameout pretty damn good. She says,
I know, but it took alot of trials and tribulations. This book
is almost like a guy I said, Wow, man, that's a great
endorsement. Thank you so much,appreciate it. Right, you know,
(27:25):
so my goal is to bring programsto you on Monday. This is my
motivational Monday. I teach on myconcept. Probably in the middle of the
week, I do questions and answers, and if anybody had any type of
uh I do the more case studies. Remember back in the damn I'm sure
you guys how older the other childswhen you guys might you might need to
look this up. Remember like anan Landers I want to bring in like
(27:47):
an an LANDERDS type of thing atleast, you know, once every couple
of weeks and stuff. Right,I think that's pretty cool. Have some
people right in I I give them, I solve them some problems up and
a lot of your parents can actuallylook at Ah, maybe I could use
this on my child. All right, So strategies for UHU of the parents,
Right, And then the next onethat I'll do is is is during
(28:08):
the week is if you guys havea topic for me to talk about it
like I did one on cell phoneslast week, right, uh is it
okay for your kids to have acell phone, right then, of course
I'm old score no unless it's afootphone. Because the reason why I say
no it is you can read it, you can listen to my other one.
It's because a lot of your parents, when they give them all these
crazy phones, smart phones everything else, they never check their apps, never
(28:32):
check nothing. So you don't knowwhat your kids are doing you. You
just know that they're busy and they'reaway from you anyway, so they listen
to me. I enjoyed the session. I hope that you guys do.
If you guys have any feedback orhave any UH show ideas, please let
me know. I would do one. I would craft one out, I
do one. I will probably startdoing UH some interviews with some of my
(28:56):
UH friends who are completely smart UHand parenting, have different parenting programs,
styles, strategies and everything else.All right, guys, and until next
time, take care. Dare tomake this day, this week, this
month. Max Magnificent Wife or no
Hello everybody. My name is doctorJohn, and thank you soo much for
joining me today. You we areat the doctor's corner. Well, doctor
John, older guys in putting youyesterday. So of course, let me
hit to five gifts. Who Iam the whole nine yards and the name
of the show is the power ofa Village. It's the name of the
(00:23):
show. But let's go backwards,so let me tell you who I am
first and foremost. Let me giveyou my five gifts of my my one
rule that I actually have and mybiggest goal. When I give you these
five gifts, I want you guysto get something from the show. And
I just don't want to be atalking head. I don't want to be
x Y and Z. I wantyou to get some of them the show
so you can use this. Iown your preteen as well as your team,
(00:45):
right, and you can understand conceptsand strategies how to take your family
to that next level. Is thatuh? Yes or yes? I heard
somebody say yes, beautiful, let'sdo it. Okay, So my first
gift across to have fun. Right. I'd meet so many parents right and
they say they're stressed out and they'reworried Johnny's not doing this, so Sue's
not doing this, right a man, they're there are problems that are challenges.
(01:07):
You guys get all. It's almostlike winning back in the day as
captain, I take me away,right. So my biggest thing I don't
remember you know, if he's ateenager, just say thirteen fourteen years ago
before you had a teenager and hewas just excitement, this passion that you
had about having a kid and teachingthem values and strategy. Just tell you
guys were growing up and some ofyou guys might have a decent childhood.
(01:30):
Okay childhood, a great childhood,but you wanted those kids right now you
have them. Nine, guy,gave you the best and to have the
kids a nine stressed out. Sohere it goes for the next yeah,
twenty thirty minutes. I want tobring back the passion and the excitement that
you want, saying right when youwere gonna have the kids right, And
I know you guys everyone loved theirkids to death, but sometimes they can
(01:51):
become a challenge here or so right, but here it goes right. So
so that right there, I wantyou to have fun. Let me tell
you what I do when I havefun? Right, right, I crack
jokes. I sing. If youguys ever heard of glut of vandels?
A singing like glut of vandels meeta wounded moose? Right, but I
love second bowling. Whatever, Whatdo you ask? What's what's fun for
(02:12):
you? Right down? What's fun? Then? If you guys are driving
driving, put it inside your mind'seye view. What is fun for you?
So my first gift to have fun? Yeah, so yes, all
right? If we got an amen, beautiful, let's move forward. If
you guys can't go to Sunday,If you guys didn't go to church on
Sunday, I'm taking you back tothe churches today. Great. My next
gift is to have an open mind. Oh that's a big one, right,
(02:38):
So let me tell you what Isay, have an open mind?
Right. Everybody have parenting styles.You know. Somebody could be black,
folks, white polks, blue,green, polka dot. We all have
parents and styles. Right. I'mteaching you guys communication how to connect with
it. And sometimes you say yeah, yeah, yeah I know. If
yeah yeah, yeah, I know, and you're not doing it, you
don't know it. Right, Sothe question I have is up in your
(03:00):
mind, your body, your heart, and your soul. One day I
went to see Tony Robbins right tobe geez, thirty plus years ago,
right, and Tony was talking abouthaving an open mind. And I'm thinking
that he's talking to me a littlebit grandiosis. But you know you guys,
gets to point right. So here'swhat Tony said. Tony says,
we live in a box. Weyou know, as we as we watch
a box, we're talking the box, we're driving the box, and we're
(03:21):
work in a box. And sometimeswe're in a box. I meaning that
we don't see outside our comfort zone. My outcome, this takes you beyond
your thinking. Push you and pushyou and push you so you get your
breakthrough and hopefully you get a breakthrough on this show right here, so
you can actually do something with yourchild, your team and your preaching whatever.
Right, let's take a little break, guys, forgot to say this
(03:43):
earlier, but thank you so muchfor joining me on us on the show.
If you're driving, I hope I'mintending enough for to make you drive
exciting. Right, if you're listening, just on there, if you if
you got me at the gym,whatever, thank you so much. I
do appreciate it. If it's daytime, nighttime, even time, whatever.
Thank you from the b of myheart. Let's set back to the gifts,
right, So on the open themind. I want to open your
(04:04):
mind, your body, your heart, and your soul so you can get
some strategy, some tools. Becauseas you guys know and listen to me,
when I was growing up, right, do it back in the eighties,
right, eighties and forty years,lady's completely different from this day and
age. I mean completely different.We're talking about we have social media right
now, and we have the bullying. We always have the bullying, but
not on social media. Right.We have so much stuff that we see.
(04:26):
We have a phone right now thatthese kids can get any access if
they want. Parents are not checkingtheir phones. Oh my goodness, I've
seen uh you know kids are onport hub. Huh. And then when
they when the little kids are onport Hub, this is how they think
sexist. But if they don't check, if the parents don't check the phones,
there's gonna be a challenge. Right, So we have so much stuff
going on. My heart comes outhere. You have an open mind,
(04:50):
follow some strategies and some tools,so you so you can take your of
your child, your preteen or teensthat next level. Can you ever open
mind? Yes or yes? Beautiful. My third gift is to do it
now. You hear it something,you write it down, and you do
(05:10):
it. Do not wait to saythat, do it tomorrow. Right.
And one time I went to atime management program, right, that's where
I did. It was great.I'm like, man, I'm gonna use
this stuff. I'm gonna use it. Lemna use it. That never took
place, right, and I hadthe same issues again, just a different
day. Right. So when youhear something, do it now, right.
And I have one rule and onerule only, no excuse management menu
(05:35):
that you don't want to hear noextuses from your child preteen, noor teen,
I don't hear no ex uses fromyou. Just do it, guys.
This is for you, This isfor you to be to enhance your
parenting skills. Here's a sad thingabout it. We didn't have a manual
to say this is how you raisea kid. No manu came up there,
right, But what did come upthere? You know you, guys,
(05:57):
you learned from trials and tribulations fromhow you were raised. Right.
So and that's it. At last, but not least, allow me to
be your coaching mentor? What's thecoaching? What's a mentor? I know,
I said five, it just gotfour. What's the coach and what's
the mentor? Cause I know somebodygrabbed me and I said my I said,
I sound like for it. You'reright. What's the coach in the
mentor? I You're right. Somebodysaid a coaches. Somebody can coach you
(06:19):
a being uh, parenting skills orcommunication skills or absolutely I can coach you
on being AH of how to disciplineyour kid, or a better parenting skills,
how to work with them, tohave ADHD or depression or suicide at
temps or substance abuse whatever. Icoach in all those things and make you
amazing A mentor have been there anddone that right so that it goes.
(06:42):
I come from a family of ten. I'm eight of ten, but I'll
come from one hundred and twenty twentnieces and nephews. Yes, I'm an
uncle great uncle Gregor. We getuncle. And I've worked with or for
three hundred thousand kids in the lastthirty six years. So I've it made
me into I've seen that I've beenthere. Uh, nothing fazes me when
it comes to adolescents, to theteens and preteens, nothing fazes me at
(07:04):
all. Uh, strategies I havebecause I've worked with this population for so
long, right, you know,so so I can culture on that one.
Right and in the mentor and partis I've said I've been there and
done that. Something about me mylife story, uh said again. I'm
born Michigan City, and is itis Indiana born and raised, uh forty
(07:27):
five minutes or I'm west of Chicago. Matter of fact, when I was
growing up, had a severe stutteringproblem. I mean severy couldn't really say
my name at school around my friends. I was pretty cool, right,
you know, it was relaxed andstuff. So it took place. I
remember when we went to a privateschool called Saint Mary's right and Michigan City,
Indiana's closed now Uh huh, sadlyto say, but going to that
(07:48):
school, I had we had anun Oh my god, she was jeez
interestingly mean. She she wanted tomeet my mom and dad. She wanted
to meet my mother and this andat the first time my mom. So
my mom was a midnight nurse.And when I told mom, she came
by two or three days later.When she left, she and then you
know, we met him and Iwas playing with some little cards and stuff
(08:09):
toys and J like it was yesterday, right, And I said, you
know, do I leave? Andshe said no, no, no,
us stay. And you know,she said, John, it's a good
kid. And I said about yeah, I have a good kid, right,
he's very likable. Yeah, you'reright about that. And then she
said something that just totally changed mylife. It was like being struck by
lightning until in the after shock,and I was really shocked after looking back,
(08:30):
coming from the from a leadership rolethat she was in. Here's what
you said, John would never graduateeighth grade because he is because he is
retarded, and we think he shouldgo to a special group, a group
home and all this crazy ass stuffthat she was talking about. Right,
And I'm right here and I'm likeeighth grade and I'm retarded. Wow.
(08:52):
Now I'd imagine my mom was aboutfive foot five, five foot four,
big go affrow back in the seventies. Mom said, that's John leave.
They all leave. Of course,guys. I stayed, pres got when
they had stipulations cause they don't wantto lose the money, right, you
know, if we had the kidsin the grade school as well, was
in high school, and there's money, right, So you know, so
(09:13):
I stayed the vestipulations hard to goto speech therapy. That's a nice guy
named mister Anderson. He says,you know, when you tell people say
Hi, I'm John, I stutteryuck. I was embarrassed with that.
No one else said that. Isaid, I want right, John,
I'm stutter. I don't see peoplesaying, Hi, my name is John.
I F kenson. Why do youwant me to wear this identity on
me? That's another one. Thatwould be another that would be a different
(09:35):
program identities. It's gonna be aI I didentity need to make me better.
But anyway, that's a different program. So we'll stop right there.
So you know, I was embarrassed, and of course, you know,
I went to speech therapy three timesa week, X, Y and Z.
The following year I was back infirst grade. Didn't tell me why,
but that's how it was. Andbut my mom said something did stay
(10:00):
with me. My mother said,son, your father studied, your grandfather
studied, and they overcame it.And so will you. Those are the
words I use, Those are thewords I kept. Those are the words
like okay, all right. Ittook me twenty eight years, but you
know that was a belief. Youknow, that was ah. You know,
sometimes that's you know, we havetwo different times. There's our timing
that we want it done yesterday,and it's God timing, you know,
(10:22):
and sometimes God time and might takea little bit longer. But I had
to go through the trials and shoand tribulations and working with myself to make
me work so well with adolescents,and all my adolescents have a there's success
rate for all my adolescents. Andsuccess for me is that I went to
college or trade school or something andthey got a career and then making a
phenomenal life with themselves. And notsaying that people who don't go to college
(10:48):
it's not like that, but thisis how I that's that's my measurement of
success. Right. You gotta havea trade. You have to have something
that you can bring in income atyou know, that's just for me and
you know, and I live inearth iron when you right now and then
these people are they even go ata different level. I mean you know,
you have to you know all youknow, Orange County or Irvine area
have the highest suicide rate is radyin America. And the reason why it
(11:11):
is cause the parents are so hardon the kids, say that they pressure
them to do X, y andZ and and and to me, it's
amazing when you have to have thatmuch pressure on the kid, especially when
they're going through high school, becausethis is when they learned a lot of
their strategies and tools and they haveand then we and they're all they're they're
already going through challenges already to selfesteem and the confidence of girls boys,
(11:33):
the whole nine yards, right,and the added on this Again, that's
a different show as well. Sohere goes. The name of the show
is God, Oh the power ofa village. Now, when I was
growing up and says it says totake a village to raise a child.
And then I used to hear thatstuff. I said, I'm not really
(11:54):
sure about that. We'll have todoing some researcher. Absolutely right, you
just take a power. It doestake a village to raise a child.
Right, So let me explain toyou the long view as well as strict
few so growing up right, mymom, who used to be a preacher
kid. Right, And when shemoved to Michigan City and she wanted to
(12:16):
have the kids she wanted, shewanted to have her kids go to a
private school, right. And whatshe had to do is, back in
the fifties, you had to becomea Catholic. So imagine her dad's a
Baptist minister and she have a relationshipwith her dad, she's nown switching to
being Catholic, and all the kidsaround and we grew up Catholic. Right.
(12:39):
So when you're having that, ofcourse your friends are saying, well,
uh uh, you know why you'retrying to be white? Why are
you trying to be around white people? And she was hearing that. But
mom and dad had an outcome.The outcome is that they wanted a better
environment for their children to see doctorsand lawyers on a daily basis. Right.
(13:01):
So what happened was she took itall, but she didn't outcome that
Mom and dad stuck two of theirguns. Rest in peace, Mamma,
Dad, thank you so much fordoing that. So what happened was we
were in our private school, right. So being in the private school,
I saw sometimes completely different I didn'thave to go to the public school.
There's nothing wrong with going to apublic schools because because Arline had the best
(13:22):
school system in the world and thepublic schools, that's great. But we're
talking about you know, back,you know, you know, fifty sixty
and seventies, eighties and always throughright, a little bit different error,
right, So you know, soI had classmates. I swear they're like
family. I Saint Mary's kids.I love'em. We are a literally
family. Even geez, forty yearslater, man, we're family, and
(13:46):
it's been for yeah, forty yearslater, forty five years later, the
wish to a family. I considerthem as being family, and I spent
a lot of time with them,like I spent time with mom and dad.
Right. But you know, eventually, you you're gonna make friends,
all right. So when you makefriends, you're gonna be around the kids
and the family and everything else.And that's another thing. Parents, if
(14:07):
you have not introduced yourself to thekids, parents, don't have them hang
around. You need to know whattype of environment that your kids are going
to. I know some people sayI don't have time at work, Well,
you need to meet people their kidsparents to figure out if they're coming
from a good family and what's theiroutcome. Right, So let me just
(14:28):
play you back of my childhood,right and who I had in my family
and and hour probably out of ourten of my friends, right, I
love these guys love their parents.Spend so much time at their uh at
their house, so much time playingaround, you know, and growing up
at and going to Saint Mary's.We had parents at the school so for
(14:52):
lunch time, you know, andso the teachers can take a break.
The parents was out there, right. So some parents, man, we
couldn't do it nothing around because it'sbeing on our own parents, right.
And some of these parents that didn'tplay some of my parents a little bit
nicely leading in the league. Weknew what parents actually deal with, right,
So let me so let me gofirst. So first my very first
parent that I loved, the deathMan, and you know, and then
(15:15):
mister Bremmer right now, and he'sprivate and in his eighties right now.
Uh uh, mister Bremmer. Helooks like the hot cooking you know,
big old guy, big mustache,big old muscles and stuff. We call
him the enforcer. Worked at themill. I remember when I you know,
so when I got one, uhmy first car, he was my
cool center for my car. Imean these but mister Bremmer was amazing.
(15:37):
He was like he was the enforcer. Right. And here's the cool thing
about it, right, everybody thatI hunged out with parents, wise,
kids, wise, parse of meis them right. So you know from
mister Bremmer, I'm I'm I'm I'mthe enforcer. I'm six foot seven,
you know. Uh, I'm theenforcer. You know. Then we had
(15:58):
mister Camper, right, So meand Dan, So, I mean,
so all these guys we played basketball, ticularly most of'em. Right.
So mister Brimmer and I am hRobby and I we played ball together.
Uh, mister Campbell, uh Danand I. We were the only black
kids after school. I I meanit's at the time, right, So
ah Dan, uh dad was heworked at the mill, but he was
(16:18):
a pastor, right, and hewould tell his Bible quotes and the spiritual
stuff and every ten hours and andand and they would literally what my parents
would teach me to do. Itactually ingrained even more. I'm like,
oh my god, I mean youshould do this. Your parents work hard.
You know, your dad worked twojobs you know, two jobs in
working the weekend because he had tenkids. So you know, so we
had to do it every year.He had to do you know, but
you the mom was a midnight nurse, right, So but you know,
(16:41):
these people was it was it.It took a village, you know,
and and and mister and uh andmister Campbell was great. It was phenomenal.
Man, God wrested so I thinkhe died about ten years ago,
but you know, and then wehad uh, mister Russell. Mister Rustbell
was the business man, right,so he would so he owned like three
(17:02):
or four shells. So I startto go in there and you would get
to the current fix. I talkedto him. He would stop and talk
to me. Oh my god,and it's like mine, it's just he's
a businessman. I mean he hadowned businesses and everything else. It was
a cool thing. Now the resportshad about eight kids. We had ten,
so a lot of our kids,we know, we're pretty much in
the same class. Matt was ourpoint guard. Uh it's on the basketball
(17:25):
team, right. So but youknow, it was a fun thing.
It was a going to the houseand talk. I mean I spent a
lot of times at all these peoplehomes, right, But we had mister
Palmer. Right, So mister Palmerwas a basketball coach and he was a
coach, and he was a philosophertoo, and he would tell us stuff
and and he worked to business uhup phos Sam and and and he was
a business owner as well. Iwould go buy the place because his place
(17:47):
was right by the school. SoI would walk over there and talk to
mister Palmer and he'd give me sometips about how to be a better basketball
player, but also how to bea better businessman and what do you do
and everything else. It was justphenomenal. Right. Then we had mister
Greetam. Mister Greetham was U acolonel uh and the Marines, and he
was of the true philosopher stories.She would tell her about the about the
(18:11):
Marines and everything else. And andper term house we would do sleepovers,
flag swimming parties on the weekend.Man that would do some crazy soft Jesus,
Mary and Joseph so flappy the mommy my brands and know what we
did on that one. But butyou know, they still endorsed it out.
They still endorsed it in basic.They still in and philosophy is funny
(18:33):
that you said. That is myPhDs in philosophy, emphasis and psychology.
It's funny, how Uh. Thepeople that we hang out with, we
you know, it's just there,you know, but it's just it was
just amazing thing. Right. Iremember one time I was playing basketball.
I was like seventh grade, maybeseventh, going to eighth, and I
(18:56):
was playing basketball and I knew theseI knew a couple of all the guys
I was playing basketball, you know. But know since some guys from the
neighborhood. You know the funny partabout it. So we lived we went
to all white school, but Ilived in a mixed neighborhood, so it
was predominantly black, because back inthe day, you couldn't live in a
white neighborhood. You know, backin the Midwestern stuff was a little bit
different rules down, but it wasnot about money. It was about a
social and class and then put youthere. So went to all white school.
(19:18):
I think we we're the first blackfamily in the whole school, but
I think we only had about maybethree or four black family's total. Uh.
And I live in all black neighborhood. Man black white, but it's
predominantly black, right, so II remember one day and eighth grade,
I was playing basketball and I knewand then I knew these kids and stuff
and and you know, I hadsome money and put the money back.
(19:40):
I remember I put the money inthere, played baschool on the lesson was
getting dark outside, right, soI was like, okay, I need
to go go home. And Iwas started. I said, guys said
a great game, gotta go,no big deals. It was. It
was a stalling brothers. And Iwas jogging down home and I saw these
guys follow me. Man, what'sthese guys trying to follow me? And
I was trying to and I waswent home, no big deal, following,
(20:02):
running, running, running, andI saw the the the running right
after me. Him like, man, my sall's going on? Right?
So like an idiot, but itwas back then. I was cut through
the alley, cut through the alley. Two guys, who's in front of
me? Three guys behind me?I said, man, no, manber,
what's going on? Birl bro?And one of the guys that I
never met, he's in Chicago.He says, give me the money.
(20:22):
So what do you mean to giveyou money? Get get give me your
damn money, man or else Ishoot you. You put a gun out,
I said, oh, man,hello, really man, you gonna
shoot me over some I think itmaybe eight ten bucks inside my pocket and
didn't really shoot me. Man.He put the gun to my head.
This is no exaggeration. He pulledthe trigger, nothing happening, and so
(20:48):
I thought it was a fake gun. He put the gun and up in
the air and shot the damn agun and the gun went off. I
gave him my money. I wasscared as hell, went to my cousin's
house, called the ops, tildthe cops would happened till the cops even
who did it, that's what happened. Nothing. It was a black on
(21:08):
black crime. So they didn't reallycarry back then and didn't care that.
I didn't care about me. Theydidn't care about if I lived. They
didn't care about I die. It'sblack and black girl, because there's just
one or another black man being deador another black boy being dead, but
another black person. And at thattime I had a h A did I
(21:30):
hate for the police because what theydid and what they did not do.
But of course, through years ofchilds and tribulations, I understand everybody's different.
I have many friends right now whoare as police officers. Right.
But I but I had to moveforward. It was a serious challenge to
(21:51):
actually face and to go through,you know, as a child, seeing
that and knowing that if the personwas a different race, it would they
would have been treated completely different.See what people don't understand it. I
tell people, listen to everyone rightback in the Midwest is black and white.
Racism is black and white Irvine.Racism is money. If you have
(22:11):
money, and in most cases youdon't give it down where you live it
or where you stay because you havethe money and resources afford that. The
Midwest south East coast completely different.And when people are not from that area,
when I tell them this story,they go, oh my god,
you exaggerated bullshit. But then Idid not exaggerate. The reason why I
didn't exaggerate because it happened, andit happens all the time. Not on
(22:33):
being a little bit older and alittle bit of wiser, I understand what
you have to do, what youcan do in the environment that you have
to keep right. People always askpeople, even the fecial black people,
why do you live in Irvine environmentinfluency and so say, if you places
in the freaking world. I don'twant to be anywhere else. That's not
who I am. Right, Sothose are those smaller things completely shaped my
(22:57):
destiny, right, you know.And uh? And then so we had
a basketball right team, two blackguys, all white guys, and Saint
Mary's did never beat any of thehigh schools or any of anything else.
We beat everybody. We were Wewere the dream We were the dream team.
We were small. Look as Catholicschool beating you know, the the
(23:18):
the grade schools that we played eighthgrade or seventh, eighth grade and ninth
grade team. We beat everybody,right because we played together since we're a
third and fourth, third and fourthgrade, you know. So we knew,
I mean, I could kill theball, and I knew that Dana
brob Grouse would be right there.Right then we had Bob Grouse, right,
Bob Greuse had a mom, herthe dad of us. I never
saw it that much, my man, but that mom had like six boys,
(23:41):
and she was a beast. Shedid not take any mess at all.
Nothing can put nothing past missus Groovesat all, yes, ma'am,
No, ma'am. And I thinkuh, and a lot of the gun
and a lot of my friends andthat a lot of'em. But half
of my friends that went to schoolwith my brother, right, So my
brother and I were about reaching youas a partent, all right, So
they went to school with him,so a lot of them they knew of
(24:03):
him or they knew him personally,right to allow, It's another challenge in
being prepared being compared to my brother. Oh my god, brother was a
good looking, like god, greatathlete, straight age student, and I'm
like, my god, why didwhy did mom give him everything? But
but but it was great as itmeans. So what I'm saying is that
(24:27):
it takes a village to raise achild, literally checking village to raise a
child. And if you look atyour if you look at your kids right
now and you're preteens and teens,and look at the parents, are they
focused on the same thing that you'refocused on? So they have the same
(24:48):
belief systems? Do they have thesame values? Because they Because the reason
why I say that is because whenyou're not around, that's what's gonna be
taught, lack it or not.That's why I really push parents into finding
out what's taking place. Finding outOkay, you know, I know that
(25:11):
is this is Johnny parents good enoughto hang out with my kids. A
lot of times I'd go home,Mama, I got new friends, and
mom meet their parents. Boy,don't hang out with those boys. Why
not. Look they're not gonna goanywhere. And my god, where they
that They must have a crystal ball, because they're right, they didn't go
anywhere. They were troublemakers. Butkids, you know, you wanna hang
(25:33):
around with kids. You wanna beaccepted, you wanna be loved, you
wanna be all these crazy things jazz. You're growing up in the suns and
about this some most a lot ofpeople feel the exact same way, even
now and as being an adult.So my biggest thing about it is it
takes the power of a village.It takes a village ship to raise your
child. Look at their friends thatyou hang out with, figure out the
(25:56):
parents that's going on, and figureout it was it was my child headed
down the right path because all thepeople that are named, Oh my god,
this is there's more people that wehave. Mister Showtz, we have
missus Mazach, we have so manyI had so many parents that had the
same court values as my parents andI believe without a doubt that's why I
(26:19):
became the person of who I amright now. Because it was great parenting,
but it was a great village andit was a great environment that made
me who I am today. Sothere those guys. I it wrote a
book called connect Him with Your Teenback in two thousand and five or sex
(26:40):
or something like that, right,and I had an old published. His
company dropped her, dropped him aboutit. Man about I'm a year or
so ago. I'm on Amazon rightnow, and so I'm doing a special
for September. So it's called Connectingwith Your Teen by doctor John Odah.
It's only for two dollars and ninetynine cents. I'm kindom, that's all
it is. I'm not raising theprice up for the whole September. I
want to give parents something. Then. It's a great book. My mom
(27:03):
told me this. Mom told meI was I was pretty jack. She
says, I wish I had thisbook when I was having kids, cause
it was it's it's the foundation ofwhat I needed. And I said,
Mom, I said, we cameout pretty damn good. She says,
I know, but it took alot of trials and tribulations. This book
is almost like a guy I said, Wow, man, that's a great
endorsement. Thank you so much,appreciate it. Right, you know,
(27:25):
so my goal is to bring programsto you on Monday. This is my
motivational Monday. I teach on myconcept. Probably in the middle of the
week, I do questions and answers, and if anybody had any type of
uh I do the more case studies. Remember back in the damn I'm sure
you guys how older the other childswhen you guys might you might need to
look this up. Remember like anan Landers I want to bring in like
(27:47):
an an LANDERDS type of thing atleast, you know, once every couple
of weeks and stuff. Right,I think that's pretty cool. Have some
people right in I I give them, I solve them some problems up and
a lot of your parents can actuallylook at Ah, maybe I could use
this on my child. All right, So strategies for UHU of the parents,
Right, And then the next onethat I'll do is is is during
(28:08):
the week is if you guys havea topic for me to talk about it
like I did one on cell phoneslast week, right, uh is it
okay for your kids to have acell phone, right then, of course
I'm old score no unless it's afootphone. Because the reason why I say
no it is you can read it, you can listen to my other one.
It's because a lot of your parents, when they give them all these
crazy phones, smart phones everything else, they never check their apps, never
(28:32):
check nothing. So you don't knowwhat your kids are doing you. You
just know that they're busy and they'reaway from you anyway, so they listen
to me. I enjoyed the session. I hope that you guys do.
If you guys have any feedback orhave any UH show ideas, please let
me know. I would do one. I would craft one out, I
do one. I will probably startdoing UH some interviews with some of my
(28:56):
UH friends who are completely smart UHand parenting, have different parenting programs,
styles, strategies and everything else.All right, guys, and until next
time, take care. Dare tomake this day, this week, this
month. Max Magnificent Wife or no
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