June 7, 2024 • 19 mins
Parents, school is out! What’s next for your pre-teen to young adult? As you transition into the summer months, consider focusing on their personal development. Are you looking to enhance their mindset, boost their confidence, or address any labels they’ve acquired along the way? Creating a game plan to close the gaps in your pre-teen or young adult’s behavior can be incredibly beneficial.
Many parents invest substantial amounts of money in sports and acting classes, yet often overlook personal development and confidence-building activities. It’s essential to balance extracurricular achievements with nurturing your child’s emotional and mental well-being. Sometimes, the focus is more on status and the prestige of their school, rather than on how your child is coping with situations at home, school, or work.
Consider who is influencing your child: is it the drug dealer, peer pressure, or social media? Take a proactive approach by investing in their personal growth, helping them develop resilience, and equipping them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges confidently. This summer, make their development a priority and create a supportive environment that fosters both their talents and their overall well-being. My website www.drjohnoda.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Many parents invest substantial amounts of money in sports and acting classes, yet often overlook personal development and confidence-building activities. It’s essential to balance extracurricular achievements with nurturing your child’s emotional and mental well-being. Sometimes, the focus is more on status and the prestige of their school, rather than on how your child is coping with situations at home, school, or work.
Consider who is influencing your child: is it the drug dealer, peer pressure, or social media? Take a proactive approach by investing in their personal growth, helping them develop resilience, and equipping them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges confidently. This summer, make their development a priority and create a supportive environment that fosters both their talents and their overall well-being. My website www.drjohnoda.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Parents of teenagers. Thank you fortaking time from your day, your morning,
your evening. My name is doctorJohn Oda. I am the author
of Connecting with Your teen The sevenPrinciples are resolving teenager behavior problems. So
here it goes. If your teen'sgraduating high school, congratulations, going from
(00:24):
grade school to junior high congratulations,junior high high school, congratulations, Congratulations
of all of the preteens, teensand young adults going to that next level.
Congratulations. And the name of thisprogram that I am gonna have is
what's the next step this summer?How are you going to deal with your
(00:45):
child behaviors gaps in their business?So let's go backwards, right, So
let me tell you who I am. My name is doctor John Oda.
I'm in this, in this beautifulworld of mental health and working with parents
and teens for the last thirty sevenyears years. Yes, I have ran
I've been a counselor. I didresidential, I did counsel I did outpatient
(01:07):
and patient private practice, worked withthe state, I worked with the county,
did literally every aspect of it.So I understand parents and teams and
teenagers extremely well as I can probablysay. I worked with every population step
since drug abuse, suicide attempts,and by the grace of God. Only
by the grace of God, Ihave never lost any of my teenagers.
(01:30):
Have tremendous testimonies of these kids sayingI changed in their lives, but honest
with you said changed my life andwhat they brought to the table and how
they did it. But here's whatI want to ask the parents, right,
what's next? Now, let's goan example. Just say Johnny's out,
(01:51):
he's going to from high school tocollege or trade school? What's next?
And most of your parents said,well, he need to work.
I grew with through one hundred.Also, what I agree with, he
needs to work on his mindset,his gaps. You know, is he
popular? Is he does he havereport bulleting skills? Can he connect with
people? Does he have goals anddreams? What's gonna be the next step?
(02:14):
Get you in high school is aphenomenal thing. That's a great start.
What's after that? A lot ofthe kids, you know I live
in Irvine, right, A lotof the kids that want him to go
to the great schools, which Ithink is great. But didn't you guys
know the thirty five to forty percentthe kids funk out. Why I believe
lack of goals, you know,not having a game plan, not having
(02:37):
the right mindset, and not knowinggoing from a high school to college is
like night and day and they're notprepared. And of course they get there
to their party, they were hangout with the wrong people. Now in
the summertime, are you guys preparingthem for that next step? So let's
go backwards. Let me tell youhow I think. Right, So,
when I was playing basketball, right, a lot of people you used to
(02:59):
go to basketball him right cause theylearned from the pros. They learned from
the people who are in college,your high school, but the lunch from
the pros how to get better,Which I think it's a great thing.
It's called modeling. As a parent, are you living? Are you showing
your kids how to be modeling abehavior that you want them to do to
succeed. Second thing, as aparent, are you enhancing your skill set?
(03:23):
What are you doing to be abetter parent? There is one mom
told me, well I had thekid, the kid should love me.
No, if you don't have arelationship with your ch child, the kid's
not gonna love you. The relationshipdoes does not mean being their friend.
A relationship to me is being aparent and being friendly, but giving them
(03:45):
the right choices so they can makethe right decisions so they can succeed inside
their life. I do programs now, you know, for colleges and stuff,
and I'm amazed how so much mentalhealth issues that haven't been corrected when
they're in just say, twelve orthirteen years old, and now they're nineteen
to twenty and they're deal with thesame issues. Here's the thing about apparents.
(04:09):
If they have issues back then twelveand thirteen and they didn't address them,
it's not gonna go away. It'sjust enough forming completely something different.
And I see this all the timewhen I do my business coach in the
exact same CEOs have issues when they'refifteen to sixteen, didn't do if they're
nominally doing the same thing, they'redifferently at age forty. What I always
say is killed the monster when andsmall. But here's back to you again,
(04:32):
what's gonna happen this summer are howare are you gonna take your child
to that next level, to thatnext level to make sure that they're going
to succeed back because right now they'recompeting against everybody inside the world. Is
your child prepared to make that nextleap? So I live in Orange County
(04:55):
and I've mentioned this many of times, right, but I was surprised that
some of the stats that I've heard. Here's the stats that are or they
got the highest suicide rate in Irvine, California, highest suicide rate, and
Orange County they got the highest drugrate. Now most of these kids are
AFLUD. I believe my belief systemis all kids are at risk. And
(05:15):
then explain to you why they're atrisk. Huge reason why if they're rich,
they got money, parents work theirbovecongratulations, they want the best for
their life and they give him money, not love, but they give him
money. They hope to God thatthe money that they give him this is
gonna be okay. Or we gotto flip side the kids. You know
they live in the hood. Now, they running drugs, They running X,
Y and Z and they're making theirmoney somehow, some way, or
(05:38):
even the third way. We havethese little girls right now and they either
do is it a sugar babies andthey glorified that or what they do they
do the only fans but somehow insome way that they're making their money.
Here's what I have for the parentsout there who are influence in your child.
Are you influence your child or isa drug dealer or is it pen
(06:00):
or as the only fans who isinfluent a child? And that tells me
one small thing is not a parentingstyle. It's how you're communicating with Johnny
or Sue or whoever whatever your child'sname is. And the reason why I'm
on this so hard because in thelast thirty seven years, I saw a
(06:20):
trends and I saw a challenge istaking place in parenting. To me,
it's not a parenting style, it'scommunication style. How well do you communicate
with your child? I had approachingthe honor of having what I considered the
best parents ever. Maybe the reasonwhy I'm eight of ten biological. By
the time I was there with myparents with poetry in motion taught to the
(06:43):
older siblings, they said that theydidn't miss abeat right. And the reason
why they didn't dis miss abeat becausethey worked together. Fast forward to forty
years from now on the way thatwe were raised. Some of my parents
does not raise their kids the exactsame way they create their own style when
you creat your own style is likea system and business. If you have
a system that's working, you changethe system. It's not gonna work the
(07:04):
exact same way, same thing.And having the family systems, it's it's
everything in systemized. So for example, do you guys have a mission for
your family? For me? So? Do you have a mission statement for
the family? And all the kidsknow it? So? And people ask
me the same thing, Yes,sir, we did have a mission statement.
My mom and dad said we're allgoing to college and graduated, and
(07:27):
we did that, all of us. It was a mustard. That was
a mission statement and we did it. There's no excuses. The cool thing
about it, I had older siblingsgoing to college, and I figured out
what they did and model of theexact same thing. And I told everybody
up to up front, I'm notthe smartest at all. Some I got
some of my siblings are just geniuses. I'm the most persistent, and I
figure out way's hard I actually graduatedand what to do to graduate? Might
(07:50):
I might gotta work maybe ten timesit's harder, but I figure out where
the actually get stuff done. Sohere's what I'm doing. Parents, I
have been doing parenting teage for along period of time. As I mentioned
what I know me do. Idon't do the traditional way of doing psychology.
You know, counsel and X,Y and Z. I think it's
great, but I don't want tolabor our kids. The reason why I
(08:13):
don't want to labor our kids.When I was a kid, they taught
they told me I was never gonnagraduate eighth grade. And the fact of
matter of the way they said itwas supposed to be an expert because I
stuttered, I couldn't speak, soI must have been retarded. Sadly about
it that I was your belief system. I'm so happy that was not my
(08:33):
parents' belief system. They laughed atit. They said that, you know,
if John leave, they all leave. I stay. I had stipulations,
and of course, following you,I was back in first grade again,
and they'll call me, oh,duh, you're so stupid. I
know. These kids get teased glore, and not only they have social media
behind it. Right, so nowthese kids have no confidence on self esteem,
(08:54):
suicide of thoughts. Parents are pressuringthem. They feel like a piece
of cold getting pressured to go insidea diamond, say that thing about it
takes two or three thousand years toget a diamond stage, and these kids
just have so much pressure and theydo the most craziest things. Why because
the parents mean, well, theydon't know what to do and how to
actually communicate with their kid. Sowhat I did was I created programs in
(09:18):
similarized workshops. What I believe isI believe in turning decades in the days.
I believe in working with parents andteenagers, both of them to get
them better. If you work withteenagers and they go home, so that
same toxic relationship is not gonna workshort term. If you get them both
right, really focused on what's todo and how to do it, everything
(09:39):
changes. Right. So my biggestgoal that I have in my whole quest
right now, and that's working withparents and teens, especially in the summertime.
Right now, this is really thebest time for them to work on
the skill set. I believe it'slike a metamorphosis going from calipilar to a
butterfly. Now here's the thing aboutit. Parents, we're all we got
all go through that metamorphois all thetime. But now it's gonna be a
(10:03):
guided where were your character at.We're gonna be completely When they get done
with the program, we're gonna completelydifferent. They're gonna look differently, act
differently, behaves different than as parentscan have the skill sets to make sure
that's gonna happen. So the questionI have is western next for your child's
gonna go to camp But camps isfine. But he's gonna do camping working
(10:24):
on his skill set, working onsome area set he needs to work on,
so we can become a better person, so you can understand how to
function as a human. Still haveto have fun, choke around and everything
that. I have the confidence tomake that happen. So what I so,
what I created a long time ago, and I'm redoing the exact same
thing, put it in modern timebecause social media and everything else is a
(10:45):
little bit different than when I wasa kid. So I have a program
and what I do is a littlebit different. I do sminis workshops two
three days. I immerse these people. By the time they get done,
they're completely different every area of theirlife. We work on mission statement for
poor budding skills. We work onyou know, to going to college,
(11:07):
how to pick the right major,how to pick friends, how to study,
teach him everything that high school probablydidn't teach them. Then the sath
thing about high school, which Ilove that you know, master that per
se, either you have it orelse you don't. I never had it.
I had to work at you know. I had to work on the
(11:28):
confidence and the self esteem cause ofa teacher labeled me right and and when
she labeled me, she told methat crazy label. And the sad thing
about it, I believed it.And how many of these kids to believe
the exact same thing what a socalled professional tell them it's true and maybe
it's far from being true. Somy number one goal is right now and
(11:50):
is doing power parents again. Itook a break, you know, for
about maybe yeah, a decade,maybe ten fifteen years, but I'm back
again. Still. I was stilldoing private practice and everything else, but
I want to do it more inin a bigger way. I want to
impact because I know it's needed outthere. And I know that the tools
that I had, these young adultswho took my program, they would write
(12:13):
me and they still still send theFather's Day wishes and everything else, which
is really cool. They said thatthe stuff you taught me ten twenty years
ago is the same stuff that IAnthony Robbins or Stephen Covey or some of
these great guys teachers right now,absolutely, because I believe if you learned
that twelve thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, you're
(12:35):
about ninety percent better than anybody elsesuch walks, and if you practice it
and then actually apply it, yourwhole will completely change. I think that
right there. That's my that's mydrive, that's really my focus right now.
I want to impact parents first andforemost transparent. I want to work
(12:58):
for parents as well. Parents needenhancement skills, communication skills, how to
connect with your kid, how tofigure out how to connect with them so
I can, so you can,so you can move them to toward that
next level the kids needed because theyneed a self esteem, figuring out what's
going on. You know, wehave right now the last twenty years kids
who have autism, and it's there. It's a different way of how Tom
(13:24):
working with them, a different wayto teach them some childs and strategies.
But if they know how to doit, it's gonna be amazing. Right
So, my biggest goal about isworking with all levels, putting them in
one program and showing them how toactually function as a human. And it's
many courses, many programs, oneon one's family sessions and whole nine yards.
(13:45):
I believe it's life coaching, perse. I don't want to label
the kid though. The only thingI'll level as liberally your kid as being
smart or a genius. Are gonnabe the next Steve Jobs, you know,
or the next president of the UnitedStates. I've done this which with
over a hundred thousand kids and ninetypercent success. Right, How I consider
(14:07):
success is this, Uh, successto me is ninety percent of them graduate
trade school, college or something.I got a lot of pilots and commercial
I got a commercial pilots, Igot nurses, social workers, lawyers,
mds. We got a little littlebit of every aspect of it, right,
and they still applying what I've taughtthem twenty thirty years ago. And
(14:31):
I want to go back and givethem the same tool sets and skill sets.
For that, I tell you,I go right now to the local
colleges here. I went to UCIand that's an event. A couple of
times, taught some of the kidssome simple techniques and they thought it was
phenomenal. And I said, youknow I said it, and I'm like,
thank you, But there's more outthere. So this is UH an
(14:56):
introduction. I'm gonna try to dothis a couple of times a week,
but I I'm I'm gonna give aa a a webinar probably sometimes thing I
know, I'm go'na give one nextweek on LinkedIn, and i'm'na do ah
a full live one and probably dosomething on on YouTube as well. And
of course my UH handles is doctorJohn Loli for everything right and to get
the parents back to what's going on. If you wanna DM me, I
(15:20):
would leave also my website and everythingelse right. But you know, this
is a a serious thing and thecool thing about it if you get or
caught up on it. If youhave the tool set as a parent's to
make sure Johnny is running smoothly orMary's m W is running smoothly, your
kid's gonna actually is succeed. AndI I've seen it too much. But
(15:43):
if they're not the parent when theygo into college or go somewhere else,
it's gonna be a nightmare for'em. I they need to have is like
having a a toolbox. Then youneed to have the proper tools inside their
box so they can actually succeed andgo to that next level. So if
you guys have a topic that youwoman to talk about, talk about level
(16:04):
everything I got thirty seven years.I will probably bring in other people out
as well when I do my YouTubevideos to speak on other topics and for
parents and teens, and I believein both. I believe that we have
to have enhancement parenting styles. I'mnot saying you guys are bad parents,
but we need to enhance the uhSo sending has to learn how y how
(16:25):
you guys to can communicate. Clusething about the communication part. You can
use that per professional as well aspersonal, which is a cool thing.
So if you do have a businessyastay and still work in the business world
but also working in the parenting wereas well. To me, it's communications
communications, you can all the soyou can be either it's leadership. You
can be can be an effectively effectiveparent, a neutral parent, or also
(16:47):
a destructive parent. You know.So then we'll break all that down throughout
our sessions and everything else to talkabout leadership and parenting and in different aspects
of it to actually have you ofcourse case studies as well, so you
can actually know that you know,I do what I do. I also
have a book, guys out,and you can get it on Amazon.
You know, it's called Connect Himwith Your Team. It's you know,
it's pretty much my podcast, right. Uh, it's on Amazon. I
(17:11):
got paperback, I got ebook,and it's gonna be the same philosophies and
the same strategies, but that Itaught eighteen years ago and budgets modernize it
and into twenty twenty four. Anyway, I can talk for every guys.
You guys can tell but one ofthe moon the outcome is to empower you,
to give you guys tools and strategiesso you can actually change your life.
So you can actually say, Okay, yes, uh this is gonna
work, and yes I'm gonna dobetter, and yes, you know,
(17:33):
Johnny is gonna succeed. Right.And success is is different from everybody.
You know. Uh, success couldbe in the graduate in high school or
they graduate in college. That's as uh. Success for you? Success
is is for you. You're tellingyour kid, I love you, that's
success, you know, or viceversa. They're telling you so I yell
and a streaming at you right.You know, we have uh T worked
(17:57):
with people just recently who kid controlthe household. You know, the mother
was scared to take me on becauseher daughter might get mad, and I
was like shocked, like interested,you know, but it's just leadership.
What type of leader are you?You know? Or or a how do
you can't view you? Or howdo you can't see you? So anyway,
(18:18):
if you guys have any uh topics, let me know I talk about
it. I mean, if insteadI've done this for many years, I
will at least do this a coupleof times a week, but my more
outcome, I'll come and see theguys. Some took some strategies to totally
change the quality of this ugly life. And thank you for taking your time
for listening to me for the lastuh ten fifteen minutes and some strategies and
(18:41):
my experience that I had, andthe experience that I had is also being
another child and having the same issuesof no confidence, no self esteem,
having all the stuff these kids haveI had. The only difference is now
just twenty times a hundred times muchcause of social media. So how to
overcome all that to have to havesuccessful kids or guys? An until next
(19:03):
time, take care and all askGod bless and buy for them.
Parents of teenagers. Thank you fortaking time from your day, your morning,
your evening. My name is doctorJohn Oda. I am the author
of Connecting with Your teen The sevenPrinciples are resolving teenager behavior problems. So
here it goes. If your teen'sgraduating high school, congratulations, going from
(00:24):
grade school to junior high congratulations,junior high high school, congratulations, Congratulations
of all of the preteens, teensand young adults going to that next level.
Congratulations. And the name of thisprogram that I am gonna have is
what's the next step this summer?How are you going to deal with your
(00:45):
child behaviors gaps in their business?So let's go backwards, right, So
let me tell you who I am. My name is doctor John Oda.
I'm in this, in this beautifulworld of mental health and working with parents
and teens for the last thirty sevenyears years. Yes, I have ran
I've been a counselor. I didresidential, I did counsel I did outpatient
(01:07):
and patient private practice, worked withthe state, I worked with the county,
did literally every aspect of it.So I understand parents and teams and
teenagers extremely well as I can probablysay. I worked with every population step
since drug abuse, suicide attempts,and by the grace of God. Only
by the grace of God, Ihave never lost any of my teenagers.
(01:30):
Have tremendous testimonies of these kids sayingI changed in their lives, but honest
with you said changed my life andwhat they brought to the table and how
they did it. But here's whatI want to ask the parents, right,
what's next? Now, let's goan example. Just say Johnny's out,
(01:51):
he's going to from high school tocollege or trade school? What's next?
And most of your parents said,well, he need to work.
I grew with through one hundred.Also, what I agree with, he
needs to work on his mindset,his gaps. You know, is he
popular? Is he does he havereport bulleting skills? Can he connect with
people? Does he have goals anddreams? What's gonna be the next step?
(02:14):
Get you in high school is aphenomenal thing. That's a great start.
What's after that? A lot ofthe kids, you know I live
in Irvine, right, A lotof the kids that want him to go
to the great schools, which Ithink is great. But didn't you guys
know the thirty five to forty percentthe kids funk out. Why I believe
lack of goals, you know,not having a game plan, not having
(02:37):
the right mindset, and not knowinggoing from a high school to college is
like night and day and they're notprepared. And of course they get there
to their party, they were hangout with the wrong people. Now in
the summertime, are you guys preparingthem for that next step? So let's
go backwards. Let me tell youhow I think. Right, So,
when I was playing basketball, right, a lot of people you used to
(02:59):
go to basketball him right cause theylearned from the pros. They learned from
the people who are in college,your high school, but the lunch from
the pros how to get better,Which I think it's a great thing.
It's called modeling. As a parent, are you living? Are you showing
your kids how to be modeling abehavior that you want them to do to
succeed. Second thing, as aparent, are you enhancing your skill set?
(03:23):
What are you doing to be abetter parent? There is one mom
told me, well I had thekid, the kid should love me.
No, if you don't have arelationship with your ch child, the kid's
not gonna love you. The relationshipdoes does not mean being their friend.
A relationship to me is being aparent and being friendly, but giving them
(03:45):
the right choices so they can makethe right decisions so they can succeed inside
their life. I do programs now, you know, for colleges and stuff,
and I'm amazed how so much mentalhealth issues that haven't been corrected when
they're in just say, twelve orthirteen years old, and now they're nineteen
to twenty and they're deal with thesame issues. Here's the thing about apparents.
(04:09):
If they have issues back then twelveand thirteen and they didn't address them,
it's not gonna go away. It'sjust enough forming completely something different.
And I see this all the timewhen I do my business coach in the
exact same CEOs have issues when they'refifteen to sixteen, didn't do if they're
nominally doing the same thing, they'redifferently at age forty. What I always
say is killed the monster when andsmall. But here's back to you again,
(04:32):
what's gonna happen this summer are howare are you gonna take your child
to that next level, to thatnext level to make sure that they're going
to succeed back because right now they'recompeting against everybody inside the world. Is
your child prepared to make that nextleap? So I live in Orange County
(04:55):
and I've mentioned this many of times, right, but I was surprised that
some of the stats that I've heard. Here's the stats that are or they
got the highest suicide rate in Irvine, California, highest suicide rate, and
Orange County they got the highest drugrate. Now most of these kids are
AFLUD. I believe my belief systemis all kids are at risk. And
(05:15):
then explain to you why they're atrisk. Huge reason why if they're rich,
they got money, parents work theirbovecongratulations, they want the best for
their life and they give him money, not love, but they give him
money. They hope to God thatthe money that they give him this is
gonna be okay. Or we gotto flip side the kids. You know
they live in the hood. Now, they running drugs, They running X,
Y and Z and they're making theirmoney somehow, some way, or
(05:38):
even the third way. We havethese little girls right now and they either
do is it a sugar babies andthey glorified that or what they do they
do the only fans but somehow insome way that they're making their money.
Here's what I have for the parentsout there who are influence in your child.
Are you influence your child or isa drug dealer or is it pen
(06:00):
or as the only fans who isinfluent a child? And that tells me
one small thing is not a parentingstyle. It's how you're communicating with Johnny
or Sue or whoever whatever your child'sname is. And the reason why I'm
on this so hard because in thelast thirty seven years, I saw a
(06:20):
trends and I saw a challenge istaking place in parenting. To me,
it's not a parenting style, it'scommunication style. How well do you communicate
with your child? I had approachingthe honor of having what I considered the
best parents ever. Maybe the reasonwhy I'm eight of ten biological. By
the time I was there with myparents with poetry in motion taught to the
(06:43):
older siblings, they said that theydidn't miss abeat right. And the reason
why they didn't dis miss abeat becausethey worked together. Fast forward to forty
years from now on the way thatwe were raised. Some of my parents
does not raise their kids the exactsame way they create their own style when
you creat your own style is likea system and business. If you have
a system that's working, you changethe system. It's not gonna work the
(07:04):
exact same way, same thing.And having the family systems, it's it's
everything in systemized. So for example, do you guys have a mission for
your family? For me? So? Do you have a mission statement for
the family? And all the kidsknow it? So? And people ask
me the same thing, Yes,sir, we did have a mission statement.
My mom and dad said we're allgoing to college and graduated, and
(07:27):
we did that, all of us. It was a mustard. That was
a mission statement and we did it. There's no excuses. The cool thing
about it, I had older siblingsgoing to college, and I figured out
what they did and model of theexact same thing. And I told everybody
up to up front, I'm notthe smartest at all. Some I got
some of my siblings are just geniuses. I'm the most persistent, and I
figure out way's hard I actually graduatedand what to do to graduate? Might
(07:50):
I might gotta work maybe ten timesit's harder, but I figure out where
the actually get stuff done. Sohere's what I'm doing. Parents, I
have been doing parenting teage for along period of time. As I mentioned
what I know me do. Idon't do the traditional way of doing psychology.
You know, counsel and X,Y and Z. I think it's
great, but I don't want tolabor our kids. The reason why I
(08:13):
don't want to labor our kids.When I was a kid, they taught
they told me I was never gonnagraduate eighth grade. And the fact of
matter of the way they said itwas supposed to be an expert because I
stuttered, I couldn't speak, soI must have been retarded. Sadly about
it that I was your belief system. I'm so happy that was not my
(08:33):
parents' belief system. They laughed atit. They said that, you know,
if John leave, they all leave. I stay. I had stipulations,
and of course, following you,I was back in first grade again,
and they'll call me, oh,duh, you're so stupid. I
know. These kids get teased glore, and not only they have social media
behind it. Right, so nowthese kids have no confidence on self esteem,
(08:54):
suicide of thoughts. Parents are pressuringthem. They feel like a piece
of cold getting pressured to go insidea diamond, say that thing about it
takes two or three thousand years toget a diamond stage, and these kids
just have so much pressure and theydo the most craziest things. Why because
the parents mean, well, theydon't know what to do and how to
actually communicate with their kid. Sowhat I did was I created programs in
(09:18):
similarized workshops. What I believe isI believe in turning decades in the days.
I believe in working with parents andteenagers, both of them to get
them better. If you work withteenagers and they go home, so that
same toxic relationship is not gonna workshort term. If you get them both
right, really focused on what's todo and how to do it, everything
(09:39):
changes. Right. So my biggestgoal that I have in my whole quest
right now, and that's working withparents and teens, especially in the summertime.
Right now, this is really thebest time for them to work on
the skill set. I believe it'slike a metamorphosis going from calipilar to a
butterfly. Now here's the thing aboutit. Parents, we're all we got
all go through that metamorphois all thetime. But now it's gonna be a
(10:03):
guided where were your character at.We're gonna be completely When they get done
with the program, we're gonna completelydifferent. They're gonna look differently, act
differently, behaves different than as parentscan have the skill sets to make sure
that's gonna happen. So the questionI have is western next for your child's
gonna go to camp But camps isfine. But he's gonna do camping working
(10:24):
on his skill set, working onsome area set he needs to work on,
so we can become a better person, so you can understand how to
function as a human. Still haveto have fun, choke around and everything
that. I have the confidence tomake that happen. So what I so,
what I created a long time ago, and I'm redoing the exact same
thing, put it in modern timebecause social media and everything else is a
(10:45):
little bit different than when I wasa kid. So I have a program
and what I do is a littlebit different. I do sminis workshops two
three days. I immerse these people. By the time they get done,
they're completely different every area of theirlife. We work on mission statement for
poor budding skills. We work onyou know, to going to college,
(11:07):
how to pick the right major,how to pick friends, how to study,
teach him everything that high school probablydidn't teach them. Then the sath
thing about high school, which Ilove that you know, master that per
se, either you have it orelse you don't. I never had it.
I had to work at you know. I had to work on the
(11:28):
confidence and the self esteem cause ofa teacher labeled me right and and when
she labeled me, she told methat crazy label. And the sad thing
about it, I believed it.And how many of these kids to believe
the exact same thing what a socalled professional tell them it's true and maybe
it's far from being true. Somy number one goal is right now and
(11:50):
is doing power parents again. Itook a break, you know, for
about maybe yeah, a decade,maybe ten fifteen years, but I'm back
again. Still. I was stilldoing private practice and everything else, but
I want to do it more inin a bigger way. I want to
impact because I know it's needed outthere. And I know that the tools
that I had, these young adultswho took my program, they would write
(12:13):
me and they still still send theFather's Day wishes and everything else, which
is really cool. They said thatthe stuff you taught me ten twenty years
ago is the same stuff that IAnthony Robbins or Stephen Covey or some of
these great guys teachers right now,absolutely, because I believe if you learned
that twelve thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, you're
(12:35):
about ninety percent better than anybody elsesuch walks, and if you practice it
and then actually apply it, yourwhole will completely change. I think that
right there. That's my that's mydrive, that's really my focus right now.
I want to impact parents first andforemost transparent. I want to work
(12:58):
for parents as well. Parents needenhancement skills, communication skills, how to
connect with your kid, how tofigure out how to connect with them so
I can, so you can,so you can move them to toward that
next level the kids needed because theyneed a self esteem, figuring out what's
going on. You know, wehave right now the last twenty years kids
who have autism, and it's there. It's a different way of how Tom
(13:24):
working with them, a different wayto teach them some childs and strategies.
But if they know how to doit, it's gonna be amazing. Right
So, my biggest goal about isworking with all levels, putting them in
one program and showing them how toactually function as a human. And it's
many courses, many programs, oneon one's family sessions and whole nine yards.
(13:45):
I believe it's life coaching, perse. I don't want to label
the kid though. The only thingI'll level as liberally your kid as being
smart or a genius. Are gonnabe the next Steve Jobs, you know,
or the next president of the UnitedStates. I've done this which with
over a hundred thousand kids and ninetypercent success. Right, How I consider
(14:07):
success is this, Uh, successto me is ninety percent of them graduate
trade school, college or something.I got a lot of pilots and commercial
I got a commercial pilots, Igot nurses, social workers, lawyers,
mds. We got a little littlebit of every aspect of it, right,
and they still applying what I've taughtthem twenty thirty years ago. And
(14:31):
I want to go back and givethem the same tool sets and skill sets.
For that, I tell you,I go right now to the local
colleges here. I went to UCIand that's an event. A couple of
times, taught some of the kidssome simple techniques and they thought it was
phenomenal. And I said, youknow I said it, and I'm like,
thank you, But there's more outthere. So this is UH an
(14:56):
introduction. I'm gonna try to dothis a couple of times a week,
but I I'm I'm gonna give aa a a webinar probably sometimes thing I
know, I'm go'na give one nextweek on LinkedIn, and i'm'na do ah
a full live one and probably dosomething on on YouTube as well. And
of course my UH handles is doctorJohn Loli for everything right and to get
the parents back to what's going on. If you wanna DM me, I
(15:20):
would leave also my website and everythingelse right. But you know, this
is a a serious thing and thecool thing about it if you get or
caught up on it. If youhave the tool set as a parent's to
make sure Johnny is running smoothly orMary's m W is running smoothly, your
kid's gonna actually is succeed. AndI I've seen it too much. But
(15:43):
if they're not the parent when theygo into college or go somewhere else,
it's gonna be a nightmare for'em. I they need to have is like
having a a toolbox. Then youneed to have the proper tools inside their
box so they can actually succeed andgo to that next level. So if
you guys have a topic that youwoman to talk about, talk about level
(16:04):
everything I got thirty seven years.I will probably bring in other people out
as well when I do my YouTubevideos to speak on other topics and for
parents and teens, and I believein both. I believe that we have
to have enhancement parenting styles. I'mnot saying you guys are bad parents,
but we need to enhance the uhSo sending has to learn how y how
(16:25):
you guys to can communicate. Clusething about the communication part. You can
use that per professional as well aspersonal, which is a cool thing.
So if you do have a businessyastay and still work in the business world
but also working in the parenting wereas well. To me, it's communications
communications, you can all the soyou can be either it's leadership. You
can be can be an effectively effectiveparent, a neutral parent, or also
(16:47):
a destructive parent. You know.So then we'll break all that down throughout
our sessions and everything else to talkabout leadership and parenting and in different aspects
of it to actually have you ofcourse case studies as well, so you
can actually know that you know,I do what I do. I also
have a book, guys out,and you can get it on Amazon.
You know, it's called Connect Himwith Your Team. It's you know,
it's pretty much my podcast, right. Uh, it's on Amazon. I
(17:11):
got paperback, I got ebook,and it's gonna be the same philosophies and
the same strategies, but that Itaught eighteen years ago and budgets modernize it
and into twenty twenty four. Anyway, I can talk for every guys.
You guys can tell but one ofthe moon the outcome is to empower you,
to give you guys tools and strategiesso you can actually change your life.
So you can actually say, Okay, yes, uh this is gonna
work, and yes I'm gonna dobetter, and yes, you know,
(17:33):
Johnny is gonna succeed. Right.And success is is different from everybody.
You know. Uh, success couldbe in the graduate in high school or
they graduate in college. That's as uh. Success for you? Success
is is for you. You're tellingyour kid, I love you, that's
success, you know, or viceversa. They're telling you so I yell
and a streaming at you right.You know, we have uh T worked
(17:57):
with people just recently who kid controlthe household. You know, the mother
was scared to take me on becauseher daughter might get mad, and I
was like shocked, like interested,you know, but it's just leadership.
What type of leader are you?You know? Or or a how do
you can't view you? Or howdo you can't see you? So anyway,
(18:18):
if you guys have any uh topics, let me know I talk about
it. I mean, if insteadI've done this for many years, I
will at least do this a coupleof times a week, but my more
outcome, I'll come and see theguys. Some took some strategies to totally
change the quality of this ugly life. And thank you for taking your time
for listening to me for the lastuh ten fifteen minutes and some strategies and
(18:41):
my experience that I had, andthe experience that I had is also being
another child and having the same issuesof no confidence, no self esteem,
having all the stuff these kids haveI had. The only difference is now
just twenty times a hundred times muchcause of social media. So how to
overcome all that to have to havesuccessful kids or guys? An until next
(19:03):
time, take care and all askGod bless and buy for them.
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