October 9, 2025 • 17 mins
In this heartfelt episode of Connecting with Your Teen, Dr. John Oda reveals how one small habit can heal even the most distant relationships — Weekend Rituals.
Through the touching story of a mother and her teenage son, Dr. Oda shows how simple, consistent moments can rebuild trust, communication, and love in a family. It’s not about time — it’s about intention.
Because sometimes, the greatest therapy isn’t found in a counselor’s office… It’s found over pancakes at breakfast.
🎙️ Hosted by Dr. John Oda — International Best-Selling Author, Family Coach, and Neuroscience Expert.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Through the touching story of a mother and her teenage son, Dr. Oda shows how simple, consistent moments can rebuild trust, communication, and love in a family. It’s not about time — it’s about intention.
Because sometimes, the greatest therapy isn’t found in a counselor’s office… It’s found over pancakes at breakfast.
🎙️ Hosted by Dr. John Oda — International Best-Selling Author, Family Coach, and Neuroscience Expert.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Doctor's Corner with the doctor John Oda.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
If your parent, I, if you're a.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Parent, have pre teens and teens, this program is for you.
So the theme in the base of this whole program
is from my book that I wrote called Connecting with
Your Teen. Wrote to this book, can't believe it's nineteen
years ago. So something about me. I have uh thirty
eight years of working with parenting teens, twenty three of
parenting teens for us with everybody else wrote a book
(00:32):
about uh nineteen years ago. I've been helping parents and
teens re rebuild, connect, communicate, build the confidence over nine yards.
We have a we have a teen program that we
do is more of a a j A transformation. It
was a f to become a leader. We got teen
programs for our for O for entrepreneurship. We got p
(00:55):
UH a Bonding Family Together, and we also have a
parenting program based on the book.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Right, So we have different programs for this show.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What my outcome is to give parents some tools, some
strategies so they can go further faster, and give them
some tools that they might be overlooking or you need
some expert advice.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So I have.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Thirty eight years experience in this beautiful world, I created
a new science called neural family conditioning. Of course, neural
is a nervous it's system and the nervous system when
we do is I try to figure out, okay, what's
going on? How can I rewire a parent as a
team concept to actually make them go further faster?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Family is I've been working with families for thirty eight
years now. I love families. This is a beautiful thing.
And I come from a huge family. I come from
eight of ten biological non guys. We're a black Catholic
family and back in Michigan City, Indiana, and it was
a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I have to tell you.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
My mom and dad did a phenomenal job on all
of us and then folks on the family principles. While
the family should be raised in bits and pieces of
how I was right and the conditioning part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Right, We condition change, We condition more of like you.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Know, how does we represent stuff if it's more of
the visual auditoric anesthetic and how do we actually implement
that stuff to make a change quickly? Because nothing against
traditional mental healthy is nothing against it because I did
it for years. Traditional mental health take a long period
of time, and if you have years to do it
within sobe it. I think that all those people do
(02:34):
a phenomenal job. I just do something a little bit different.
Card My base and my foundation is neuro linguistic programming.
A master trainer. We don't have about maybe a thousand
of us worldwide. So but tell you the concept of
this show and pretty it jass right the up.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
This show is called Weekend Rituals. Now, before I started this,
what do you guys think of ritual? Is figure out
right down? What do you think of ritual?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Is?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Right? So for me, I have a couple of rituals
or rituals.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Every time I wake up in the morning, I say uh,
I say my prayers, I pray to God, I do
the whole nine yards. Then my rituals. Every morning I
go to the gym. I am literally a gym rat.
I love that gym. I go to the gym seven
days a week. Right now, Also, your ritual if you
stand up, if a big old crowd you stand up,
you can see who's gonna work out and who's not
(03:25):
gonna work out. But of course what they're ritual, right,
So we all have a ritual that we do a
lot of people. When I was Catholic and when I
went to a Catholic school, we go to church every Friday,
and then mom and dad, you know, were to church
to church every Sunday. Right, that was the ritual. You know,
Mom said, you know, you li Is, you live in
my house. We're serving God. You no big deal. We
have to go to church. And even sometimes I would
(03:47):
have come home homes credit time at night time doesn't
make a difference. In the morning time, Mom went to church. Why,
that was her ritual. So we all have rituals. So
let's go backwards. Do you guys have if you have
a teen or a preaching the team, do you have
a ritual that you guys keep right? And in this
case that was Hi, i'm'a give you. This case, they
(04:07):
didn't have a ritual, so it was pretty much it
went bunkers. So a limit to your story.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So a few years ago I was working with a
mom let's call in Linda Uh. She had a a
fifteen year old son named Josh. When it was a
VP of the major tech firm. She was smart, she
was driven, always busy, I mean always busy. But when
she came to my office. Her her eyes told the story.
(04:33):
She was almost crying, exhausted, and she had completely guilt,
you know, she said, doctor, Old, how can I run
Fortune five hundred company, making making all these d decisions
and I can't even.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Do the same thing is for my son?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I said, interesting, she said, doctor, And I feel like
I'm losing them.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
He spent the whole.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Weekend in his room head phones playing video games, and
when I try to talk to them, it's like I'm invisible.
I have a question for you guys. Do you, guys
ever feel that way about your kids? You all these
video games a little crazy?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You know?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Back then day I didn't play video games, really did,
and I thought that was wasting my time. But these kids,
they play video tames for hours and hours and hours.
As a parent, how'd you get through that? So I
ask you one question. Here's a question. Last year, her
last years, the same thing. One of the last time
you and Josh had a weekend ritual, something.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
You both look forward to. And she paused, She.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Said softly, I don't remember. That's what I explained to her.
The secret of what most parents really miss. Teens don't
disconnect from people. They feel emotionally connected to They discon
that when the relationship feels like a task.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
On a bond, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Growing up with a family of ten, right, I've always
felt close to Mom and Dad always. I mean they
would do stuff for me. They would hang out with me.
Dad would go as rituals. He would wanna shoot basketball
with me all the time. You know, I'm six foot seven, right,
so I shoot basketball with me, give me some tips
and everything else.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Would play baseball.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Together on Sundays right after church, would watch uh Westerns,
you know, we watch the Riflemen together.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
And then sometimes if I'm good, I watched Comfort Theater,
you know. But it was a ritual.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
He was there cause, you know, the weekend and my
dad worked a lot. Dad worked two jobs, you know,
so eighty hours a week he was working. The only
time to get really w w wind down, hang out
with me. It's pretty much the weekend time. That's what
he hung out with. Everybody was a weekend time, you know.
So so that was pretty much of the biggest thing.
(06:57):
So I told her is here's here is the power
of rituals. Rituals are in random. They are created the rhythm,
the rhythm that builds emotional safety.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Told us to think about it.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Every powerful family team culture has rituals from Sunday dinners,
Friday movies, walks, coffee.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They pray.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's not about the activity itself, it's about what the
ritual represents.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
So it's belonging, consistence and love. Even for business.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I do a ritual every through four or five, six
times a day to get myself another in the right mindset.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
But it's a ritual. Right.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
When families stop creating rituals, the homes start running on
a reaction.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Instead of connection.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I want you guys to imagine the clock mentioned the twelve, three,
and six.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Now, if the family is.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Doing extremely well, the twelve is the leadership. It is
the mom and dad should be leaders. Then three friend,
then six is joker. And most families that I actually
talk to or work with, right, the kids are the leaders.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I mean, and they just through the temper tantrum.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
They'd be in the room and mother and father's walking
on the shells, so they either turn to the friend
or the joker.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Now you're probably asking can you get it back? You can't.
It's called tough love.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
It's called get taken back that position and it takes
a hard job. I see parents who try to do
it and they want to do it the friendship way.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You can't be your teen friend at all, Nah, nada.
You can't be the friend. You need to be friendly,
but you need to be their parent. You have to
give him rules. You need to have a a a.
And my family, mom and dad was firm if they
were confrontational, but in a way that made me learned.
(09:05):
And everybody have different parents and styles. It's not to me,
it's parents and styles, it's how do you communicate a right.
So when my mom and dad passed away, it got
God blessed the the oh their soul.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All the siblings thought, uh that we were the favorite.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I looked and I looked at those those crazy
siblings of mine. I sent it down, that's great parenting
cause everybody thought that they were connected to them and such.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
That that powerful in that way.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
So once you to think about your kid right now,
your teen there or it's your pretem.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Do you guys have a a ritual?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Do you have a way to connect with them?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Right? So then I told lind of this, I said,
listen to me this weekend. Don't try to fix Josh.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Don't try to make him do school or chores or
justice attitude, forget that. I want you to create one ritual,
one hour, one share. That's it, no matter what. Now
you're listening in here. Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to focus on one rich other you
(10:09):
can do with your kid, prete entertain So here's this
part was I call the transformation. That Saturday morning, Linda
knocked on Josh. Dorian said, hey, hey, buddy, you want
to grab some breakfast at the dinner we used to
go to when you're little. He shrugged his shoulder. I
(10:33):
guess so. She didn't push them, but they won't. At first,
Linda sitting there, it was solid. Then he smiled, and
then it was laughter. Then the memories came back, the
same booth, the same pancakes, and the same.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Mother and son magic that had been buried under.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
To schedule in the stress and the worry and all
the crazy stuff that we threw.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
In there, Listen to this.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That one breakfast became their weekend ritual, and three months later,
man Josh started opening up again, talked about school, talked
about friends, even talked about his dreams. Wanted to go
to college, wanted to play sports. Mom was like, wow,
this is really a miraculous And here's my final statement
(11:33):
his parents, we can wait. Weekend as rituals aren't about
It's not about just the time.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's about the intentions they remind.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Them as a child and they were worth your attention.
But here it goes on on the weekend rituals. I
forgot to say this, when you're taken with your child
on the weekend rituals, turn.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Off that phone.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Give them all the attention because a lot of times
parent go off the kid. Yeah I went out there
and the teen said yeah, doctor John sure did. But
she was on the phone the whole day. We didn't connect.
It felt like, you know, it was just a chore.
All right, let's not do that. Because what you do,
you can put the phone on silent, put it inside
(12:21):
your pocket, spend all your attention on your kid.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This is in the show.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But day, my god, ain't my mom think I'm worth this.
She's not doing business, she's not doing next. No, So
it goes whether it's a walk, a drive, a game,
a prayer, ritual becomes sacred love and trust.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Remember my mom. Every morning, Guys, when my Mom was live.
We would do the rosaries. That was the ritual.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
When we'd do the rosaries, we're gonna read the Bible.
That's what you were doing as a kid. We just
did it right.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But it can't.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
But it came the ritual. It came the okay, this
is what we do now. I wake up in the morning,
I do my prayers. I don't do the roseby as much,
and I think I should start doing that, but you know,
I do it right.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I do. I do the prayer.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I do the prayers about thirty minutes before I even
leave the house. That's just how Mom did. Because this
rhythm becomes the family heartbeat and our and our family.
Every Sunday we had to have dinner together. Man, Mam
and mom and dad would make twenty coursemills. Seem like
all right, but we had to. It was at first
I thought we had to eat together.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Man. Then I got a little bit older.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
We get to eat together. It's a beautiful thing. So
here's the challenge this weekend. Create one simple ritual because
something is not because sometimes it's not therapy.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
That's sales.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Family, it's a breakfast, it's a memory, something that you
used to do if this message spoke to you, shared
with another parent who might need hope today. And remember
connection isn't built in big moments, is built in small
(14:26):
consistence ritual. You know, when I was going over this
working on this uh podcast, it made me realize, remember
my childhood, and you know, I believe that my parents
did the phenomenal job.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I really do. You know, well, they're the perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Parents, know but many eighty ninety percent absolutely And and
you know for them having ten kids, My dad worked
two jobs. Mom worked midnights as a nurse. Right, no day,
spent a lot of time. Remember every summer, right, my
mom would uh take off every summer. You know, I said, Mom, Mom,
(15:09):
and you do a vacation. She says, my vacation is
you guys. I wanna I wanna be with you guys.
I wanna hang out with you guys. And man, she did.
She made us work like a three legged mule, but otherwise,
you know, she wa she wanted to hang out with us.
She said, when you grow up, you know, I I'm
a missy times and I look back and like, man,
that was a ritual. Every summer. She'd just take off
the whole summer and be with us and hang out
(15:31):
with us. We'd do these picking beans and doing this
crazy stuff that we would do together as a family.
And I'm working at these people and I'm like, oh,
my goodness, really uh, but I look back and I'm like, man,
that was a ritual and praying was a ritual.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Right. Daddy was his garden. Right. So I wrote a
book called Life of Garden.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So Daddy was his guarden, and would go in his
garden and he'd we'd work on that garden. And would
I work out with him, you know, and that's what
he w That's how he would do things. And of
course would shoot basketball in the back and do stuff.
And you'd ask me questions and but you know, and
watch the Westerns, and so what the reason why I'm
saying all this stuff?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
That stuff right now?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know, you know, I'm the fall season of my life, right,
and I remember these things.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
It was the most beautiful things in the world.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So kids don't forget, you know. So the So here's what,
here's here's the theory.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Guys. Do one ritual, do one thing right.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Guys, my name is doctor John Oda re As, reminding
you families don't fall apart overnight. And they can heal
overnight when love becomes a ritual.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
So guys, if you guys like this, please give me
five stars. Pass it Tilly.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Any parents is that you're looking for any tools and
strategies and if you guys are are a business owner,
We do have another podcast called The Doctor Johnald The Method.
It's where neuroscience meet business mastery and I focus on
business strategies as well. So listen to me until next time.
Thank you God so much, this was really a fun show.
(17:09):
Til next time, take care of blessings by them.
Welcome to the Doctor's Corner with the doctor John Oda.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
If your parent, I, if you're a.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Parent, have pre teens and teens, this program is for you.
So the theme in the base of this whole program
is from my book that I wrote called Connecting with
Your Teen. Wrote to this book, can't believe it's nineteen
years ago. So something about me. I have uh thirty
eight years of working with parenting teens, twenty three of
parenting teens for us with everybody else wrote a book
(00:32):
about uh nineteen years ago. I've been helping parents and
teens re rebuild, connect, communicate, build the confidence over nine yards.
We have a we have a teen program that we
do is more of a a j A transformation. It
was a f to become a leader. We got teen
programs for our for O for entrepreneurship. We got p
(00:55):
UH a Bonding Family Together, and we also have a
parenting program based on the book.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Right, So we have different programs for this show.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What my outcome is to give parents some tools, some
strategies so they can go further faster, and give them
some tools that they might be overlooking or you need
some expert advice.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So I have.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Thirty eight years experience in this beautiful world, I created
a new science called neural family conditioning. Of course, neural
is a nervous it's system and the nervous system when
we do is I try to figure out, okay, what's
going on? How can I rewire a parent as a
team concept to actually make them go further faster?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Family is I've been working with families for thirty eight
years now. I love families. This is a beautiful thing.
And I come from a huge family. I come from
eight of ten biological non guys. We're a black Catholic
family and back in Michigan City, Indiana, and it was
a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I have to tell you.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
My mom and dad did a phenomenal job on all
of us and then folks on the family principles. While
the family should be raised in bits and pieces of
how I was right and the conditioning part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Right, We condition change, We condition more of like you.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Know, how does we represent stuff if it's more of
the visual auditoric anesthetic and how do we actually implement
that stuff to make a change quickly? Because nothing against
traditional mental healthy is nothing against it because I did
it for years. Traditional mental health take a long period
of time, and if you have years to do it
within sobe it. I think that all those people do
(02:34):
a phenomenal job. I just do something a little bit different.
Card My base and my foundation is neuro linguistic programming.
A master trainer. We don't have about maybe a thousand
of us worldwide. So but tell you the concept of
this show and pretty it jass right the up.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
This show is called Weekend Rituals. Now, before I started this,
what do you guys think of ritual? Is figure out
right down? What do you think of ritual?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Is?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Right? So for me, I have a couple of rituals
or rituals.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Every time I wake up in the morning, I say uh,
I say my prayers, I pray to God, I do
the whole nine yards. Then my rituals. Every morning I
go to the gym. I am literally a gym rat.
I love that gym. I go to the gym seven
days a week. Right now, Also, your ritual if you
stand up, if a big old crowd you stand up,
you can see who's gonna work out and who's not
(03:25):
gonna work out. But of course what they're ritual, right,
So we all have a ritual that we do a
lot of people. When I was Catholic and when I
went to a Catholic school, we go to church every Friday,
and then mom and dad, you know, were to church
to church every Sunday. Right, that was the ritual. You know,
Mom said, you know, you li Is, you live in
my house. We're serving God. You no big deal. We
have to go to church. And even sometimes I would
(03:47):
have come home homes credit time at night time doesn't
make a difference. In the morning time, Mom went to church. Why,
that was her ritual. So we all have rituals. So
let's go backwards. Do you guys have if you have
a teen or a preaching the team, do you have
a ritual that you guys keep right? And in this
case that was Hi, i'm'a give you. This case, they
(04:07):
didn't have a ritual, so it was pretty much it
went bunkers. So a limit to your story.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So a few years ago I was working with a
mom let's call in Linda Uh. She had a a
fifteen year old son named Josh. When it was a
VP of the major tech firm. She was smart, she
was driven, always busy, I mean always busy. But when
she came to my office. Her her eyes told the story.
(04:33):
She was almost crying, exhausted, and she had completely guilt,
you know, she said, doctor, Old, how can I run
Fortune five hundred company, making making all these d decisions
and I can't even.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Do the same thing is for my son?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I said, interesting, she said, doctor, And I feel like
I'm losing them.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
He spent the whole.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Weekend in his room head phones playing video games, and
when I try to talk to them, it's like I'm invisible.
I have a question for you guys. Do you, guys
ever feel that way about your kids? You all these
video games a little crazy?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You know?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Back then day I didn't play video games, really did,
and I thought that was wasting my time. But these kids,
they play video tames for hours and hours and hours.
As a parent, how'd you get through that? So I
ask you one question. Here's a question. Last year, her
last years, the same thing. One of the last time
you and Josh had a weekend ritual, something.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
You both look forward to. And she paused, She.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Said softly, I don't remember. That's what I explained to her.
The secret of what most parents really miss. Teens don't
disconnect from people. They feel emotionally connected to They discon
that when the relationship feels like a task.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
On a bond, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Growing up with a family of ten, right, I've always
felt close to Mom and Dad always. I mean they
would do stuff for me. They would hang out with me.
Dad would go as rituals. He would wanna shoot basketball
with me all the time. You know, I'm six foot seven, right,
so I shoot basketball with me, give me some tips
and everything else.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Would play baseball.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Together on Sundays right after church, would watch uh Westerns,
you know, we watch the Riflemen together.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
And then sometimes if I'm good, I watched Comfort Theater,
you know. But it was a ritual.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
He was there cause, you know, the weekend and my
dad worked a lot. Dad worked two jobs, you know,
so eighty hours a week he was working. The only
time to get really w w wind down, hang out
with me. It's pretty much the weekend time. That's what
he hung out with. Everybody was a weekend time, you know.
So so that was pretty much of the biggest thing.
(06:57):
So I told her is here's here is the power
of rituals. Rituals are in random. They are created the rhythm,
the rhythm that builds emotional safety.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Told us to think about it.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Every powerful family team culture has rituals from Sunday dinners,
Friday movies, walks, coffee.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They pray.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's not about the activity itself, it's about what the
ritual represents.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
So it's belonging, consistence and love. Even for business.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I do a ritual every through four or five, six
times a day to get myself another in the right mindset.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
But it's a ritual. Right.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
When families stop creating rituals, the homes start running on
a reaction.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Instead of connection.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I want you guys to imagine the clock mentioned the twelve, three,
and six.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Now, if the family is.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Doing extremely well, the twelve is the leadership. It is
the mom and dad should be leaders. Then three friend,
then six is joker. And most families that I actually
talk to or work with, right, the kids are the leaders.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I mean, and they just through the temper tantrum.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
They'd be in the room and mother and father's walking
on the shells, so they either turn to the friend
or the joker.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Now you're probably asking can you get it back? You can't.
It's called tough love.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
It's called get taken back that position and it takes
a hard job. I see parents who try to do
it and they want to do it the friendship way.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You can't be your teen friend at all, Nah, nada.
You can't be the friend. You need to be friendly,
but you need to be their parent. You have to
give him rules. You need to have a a a.
And my family, mom and dad was firm if they
were confrontational, but in a way that made me learned.
(09:05):
And everybody have different parents and styles. It's not to me,
it's parents and styles, it's how do you communicate a right.
So when my mom and dad passed away, it got
God blessed the the oh their soul.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All the siblings thought, uh that we were the favorite.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And I looked and I looked at those those crazy
siblings of mine. I sent it down, that's great parenting
cause everybody thought that they were connected to them and such.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
That that powerful in that way.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
So once you to think about your kid right now,
your teen there or it's your pretem.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Do you guys have a a ritual?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Do you have a way to connect with them?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Right? So then I told lind of this, I said,
listen to me this weekend. Don't try to fix Josh.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Don't try to make him do school or chores or
justice attitude, forget that. I want you to create one ritual,
one hour, one share. That's it, no matter what. Now
you're listening in here. Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to focus on one rich other you
(10:09):
can do with your kid, prete entertain So here's this
part was I call the transformation. That Saturday morning, Linda
knocked on Josh. Dorian said, hey, hey, buddy, you want
to grab some breakfast at the dinner we used to
go to when you're little. He shrugged his shoulder. I
(10:33):
guess so. She didn't push them, but they won't. At first,
Linda sitting there, it was solid. Then he smiled, and
then it was laughter. Then the memories came back, the
same booth, the same pancakes, and the same.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Mother and son magic that had been buried under.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
To schedule in the stress and the worry and all
the crazy stuff that we threw.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
In there, Listen to this.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That one breakfast became their weekend ritual, and three months later,
man Josh started opening up again, talked about school, talked
about friends, even talked about his dreams. Wanted to go
to college, wanted to play sports. Mom was like, wow,
this is really a miraculous And here's my final statement
(11:33):
his parents, we can wait. Weekend as rituals aren't about
It's not about just the time.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's about the intentions they remind.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Them as a child and they were worth your attention.
But here it goes on on the weekend rituals. I
forgot to say this, when you're taken with your child
on the weekend rituals, turn.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Off that phone.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Give them all the attention because a lot of times
parent go off the kid. Yeah I went out there
and the teen said yeah, doctor John sure did. But
she was on the phone the whole day. We didn't connect.
It felt like, you know, it was just a chore.
All right, let's not do that. Because what you do,
you can put the phone on silent, put it inside
(12:21):
your pocket, spend all your attention on your kid.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This is in the show.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But day, my god, ain't my mom think I'm worth this.
She's not doing business, she's not doing next. No, So
it goes whether it's a walk, a drive, a game,
a prayer, ritual becomes sacred love and trust.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Remember my mom. Every morning, Guys, when my Mom was live.
We would do the rosaries. That was the ritual.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
When we'd do the rosaries, we're gonna read the Bible.
That's what you were doing as a kid. We just
did it right.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But it can't.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
But it came the ritual. It came the okay, this
is what we do now. I wake up in the morning,
I do my prayers. I don't do the roseby as much,
and I think I should start doing that, but you know,
I do it right.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I do. I do the prayer.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I do the prayers about thirty minutes before I even
leave the house. That's just how Mom did. Because this
rhythm becomes the family heartbeat and our and our family.
Every Sunday we had to have dinner together. Man, Mam
and mom and dad would make twenty coursemills. Seem like
all right, but we had to. It was at first
I thought we had to eat together.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Man. Then I got a little bit older.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
We get to eat together. It's a beautiful thing. So
here's the challenge this weekend. Create one simple ritual because
something is not because sometimes it's not therapy.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
That's sales.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Family, it's a breakfast, it's a memory, something that you
used to do if this message spoke to you, shared
with another parent who might need hope today. And remember
connection isn't built in big moments, is built in small
(14:26):
consistence ritual. You know, when I was going over this
working on this uh podcast, it made me realize, remember
my childhood, and you know, I believe that my parents
did the phenomenal job.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I really do. You know, well, they're the perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Parents, know but many eighty ninety percent absolutely And and
you know for them having ten kids, My dad worked
two jobs. Mom worked midnights as a nurse. Right, no day,
spent a lot of time. Remember every summer, right, my
mom would uh take off every summer. You know, I said, Mom, Mom,
(15:09):
and you do a vacation. She says, my vacation is
you guys. I wanna I wanna be with you guys.
I wanna hang out with you guys. And man, she did.
She made us work like a three legged mule, but otherwise,
you know, she wa she wanted to hang out with us.
She said, when you grow up, you know, I I'm
a missy times and I look back and like, man,
that was a ritual. Every summer. She'd just take off
the whole summer and be with us and hang out
(15:31):
with us. We'd do these picking beans and doing this
crazy stuff that we would do together as a family.
And I'm working at these people and I'm like, oh,
my goodness, really uh, but I look back and I'm like, man,
that was a ritual and praying was a ritual.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Right. Daddy was his garden. Right. So I wrote a
book called Life of Garden.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So Daddy was his guarden, and would go in his
garden and he'd we'd work on that garden. And would
I work out with him, you know, and that's what
he w That's how he would do things. And of
course would shoot basketball in the back and do stuff.
And you'd ask me questions and but you know, and
watch the Westerns, and so what the reason why I'm
saying all this stuff?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
That stuff right now?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know, you know, I'm the fall season of my life, right,
and I remember these things.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
It was the most beautiful things in the world.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So kids don't forget, you know. So the So here's what,
here's here's the theory.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Guys. Do one ritual, do one thing right.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Guys, my name is doctor John Oda re As, reminding
you families don't fall apart overnight. And they can heal
overnight when love becomes a ritual.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
So guys, if you guys like this, please give me
five stars. Pass it Tilly.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Any parents is that you're looking for any tools and
strategies and if you guys are are a business owner,
We do have another podcast called The Doctor Johnald The Method.
It's where neuroscience meet business mastery and I focus on
business strategies as well. So listen to me until next time.
Thank you God so much, this was really a fun show.
(17:09):
Til next time, take care of blessings by them.
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